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4 mistakes you should never make when hosting for the holidays, according to etiquette experts

A woman lighting candles on a table decorated for Christas.
There are a few mistakes that should be avoided when hosting for the holidays.

DragonImages/Getty Images

  • Business Insider asked etiquette experts about the mistakes to avoid when hosting for the holidays.
  • It's important to make sure everyone feels welcomed โ€” even unexpected guests.
  • Hosts should also ensure there is enough seating for everyone at the party.

Although hosting friends and family for the holidays can be fun, there's no denying that doing so also comes with its fair share of stress. Without proper planning, things can even get chaotic.

To avoid making etiquette mistakes in the process, Business Insider asked two experts to share the top mistakes they see people make when hosting. Here's what they said.

Don't chastise guests for bringing an unexpected plus-one

Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and the owner of the Protocol School of Texas, told BI that hosts should never reprimand a guest for bringing an unexpected plus-one.

If this happens, she said to address the issue later โ€” not in front of others.

"You don't want to reprimand the guest or the guest's guest in front of anyone. Later on, you can say, 'Sally, I wasn't expecting a plus one because it kind of put me in an awkward position with other people.' But you can say that privately at another time, not that night," Gottsman said.

Make sure there is enough seating for all guests

A dining table set with Christmas decorations in front of a tree and wreath.
Use your head count to ensure everyone has a place to sit.

Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock

When it comes to seating, it's important to double check your head count and ensure everyone has a place to sit. Gottsman said this should also be done for more casual events like cocktail or dinner parties.

"You want to have enough seating for people," Gottsman said.

Avoid creating a chaotic environment

Etiquette and hosting expert Carla Shellis said another common mistake hosts make is not considering how they want their event or home to feel.

By yelling and scrambling to get things done at the last second, the host can unintentionally leave the space feeling more chaotic than welcoming.

Gottsman shared similar thoughts, telling BI, "When the doorbell rings with your first guest, you should not still be in your hair rollers, or lighting candles, or racing around talking about how busy you are."

To combat a chaotic situation, Shellis likes to play music, light candles, and clean the space before her guests arrive. She also gives herself plenty of time to get everything done so she doesn't have to rush.

Be cautious when serving alcohol

A group of people toasting cheers with Champagne flutes.
Alcohol can sometimes do more harm than good at a party.

wilpunt/Getty Images

Shellis told BI that serving too much alcohol is an easy way to create unnecessary issues at a party. That's why it's important to ensure everyone is enjoying themselves in moderation.

For instance, Shellis said when people ask her if she has any more wine, she'll say no and redirect them by offering other beverages like iced tea or soda.

"For 30 years, I've been hosting parties, and I'm going to tell you there's nothing that will kill a beautiful environment quicker than somebody that's hammered and acting foolish," Shellis told BI.

Read the original article on Business Insider

How to know when it's the right time to leave your job, according to a 20-year HR vet

A woman sitting with a laptop in her lap, staring at floating clocks.
Jamie Jackson said that burnout could be one of four major signs that it's time to leave your job.

Anthony Harvie/Getty Images

  • Jamie Jackson worked in HR for over 20 years and is now a podcaster and consultant.
  • Jackson said when you're no longer engaged or growing at work, it could be time for a new role.
  • Updating skills and preparing a job search toolkit can aid in career transitions.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jamie Jackson, a 43-year-old podcaster and consultant in Nashville. It has been edited for length and clarity.

As someone who has worked in HR for over 20 years, I've had this conversation countless times. People often confide in me, saying, "Jamie, I don't know what to do next."

They feel stuck in their roles, want to advance, or are considering a new job โ€” but that can be just as scary because it means stepping outside their comfort zones. I've been there, too, wondering whether it's time to quit my job for something new.

If this is you, here are four key signs you've been in your role too long and what you can do next if you need to make a change.

1. You no longer feel motivated

Your engagement level is a good indicator of whether you've been in your role for too long.

For example, you may have previously felt engaged in meetings but now find it harder to do so because you no longer feel motivated.

Or, perhaps you once enjoyed conversations with coworkers at the watercooler or over coffee โ€” asking about their weekends or holiday plans โ€” but now you simply do what you need to do and move on.

2. There's no room for growth

Another sign is feeling stagnant in your growth.

For example, I once worked at a company for five years and kept being promised a promotion. Over time, it became clear it wasn't going to happen โ€” they didn't see me moving up.

For a long time, I believed their promise was coming, but it never did. To advance, I realized I'd need to change companies because the growth I wanted wasn't going to happen there.

Sometimes, there simply isn't room for growth, and when that's the case, it's a clear sign that it's time to make your next move.

3. Your feedback has plateaued

Or, you might find yourself hitting a feedback plateau.

For instance, you may consistently receive the same performance reviews, with your manager saying that you're meeting expectations but not exceeding them โ€” suggesting you've reached a stopping point.

If you're thinking to yourself, "I don't have anything else to offer. I'm doing the same job I was doing three years ago without additional constructive feedback or recognition," it might be time to switch roles.

4. You're burned out

Another sign is burnout. In the past, I had a job where I felt physically sick going into work.

I remember one time needing to pull over to the side of the road to puke because I was so stressed.

As I sat in a parking lot trying to compose myself, I thought, I have to find another job. I knew my mental health was more important โ€” but as I didn't have the luxury of quitting on the spot, I found another job first.

For others, there are times when environments are insanely toxic, and they need to get out immediately โ€” and they should, but when possible, it's important to have a plan in place.

Either way, burnout or feeling physically sick from work might be a sign that it's time for a change.

If you realize you're no longer happy in your role, you need to do some self-reflection

Ask yourself, what are my goals? Where do I want to be? In your mind, try to understand where you want to be in six months, a year, or even further into the future.

Do you need a new title or a promotion, and if so, how do you get there? Before doing anything, it's really important to understand what you want. Then it's time to take aligned action.

Brush up on your skills

Maybe you're perfectly content with your current role; you just need to be challenged more. By learning new skills, you can push for more responsibilities.

You can use resources like LinkedIn or YouTube to brush up on skills like Excel or explore additional training or certifications offered by your current company. New skills can help you stand out in your current role or make you more appealing to potential employers.

Get your tool kit ready

If you're looking to land a new job, you need to learn new skills and prepare your toolkit.

This includes updating your rรฉsumรฉ, refreshing your LinkedIn profile, and researching the salary you should be making.

When you start looking for a new job, knowing your market value is key โ€” especially if you've been in your current role for a while and aren't sure what the going rate is. From there, talk to your mentors, colleagues, and friends, and let them know you're looking for something new.

You might say something like, "Hey, I think by March, I'm really going to start looking for another job โ€” so can you keep your eyes and ears open?"

That can really help.

December isn't the easiest month to get a new job, with the holidays and people taking time off. However, January can be a better time as companies enter the new fiscal year โ€” new budgets and new positions are being rolled out. But you can always be passively looking.

Some of us are content where we're at, but if you're no longer interested in stepping up or taking on new challenges, it might be time to reassess your role.

If you're an HR professional with unique career advice you would like to share, please email Manseen Logan at [email protected].

Read the original article on Business Insider

The 4 biggest differences between Gen Z and boomer coworkers, according to a manager of both

A venn diagram of a boomer and a gen z worker.
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Getty Images; Chelsea Jia Feng/BI

  • Jamie Lynch, an operations manager, has noticed key differences in her employees of different ages.
  • Gen Z values work-life balance, unlike older generations who prioritize job commitment.
  • COVID-19 influenced Gen Z's approach to work, emphasizing health over climbing the ladder.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jamie Lynch, a 34-year-old operations manager and content creator in Ontario, Canada. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I've been an operations manager for eight years at various companies, including my latest role at a real-estate media company.

I now also run Simply Jamie, where I create content focused on conversations with my Gen Z employees on social media.

a woman leans on a telephone booth in a dress
Jamie Lynch.

Kassandra Melnyk

As a manager who has worked with people of all ages, I've noticed differences between employees of different generations.

They aren't necessarily bad, but they're eye-opening differences in how we work. Here are four of the biggest ones I've noticed.

1. To call out or not to call out

For the most part, boomers won't call off work. Instead, they might come to work and say, "My car broke down. I had to borrow my neighbor's car to arrive on time," โ€” but they still made it in.

Millennials can be that way, too. When I worked at a restaurant in high school, my manager still expected me to come to work if I was sick โ€” there wasn't an option or a second thought about not working.

Gen Z, on the other hand, might say, "Well, my car is broken," or "I'm sick, so I can't come in." They don't feel an overwhelming guilt about calling in sick when needed.

I think some of this feeling stems from the COVID-19 pandemic. For three years, we told everyone not to leave their houses if they felt sick, and the younger generation has carried that message into the workplace.

I know some employees in the older generation dislike the younger generation for it, but I respect them, and I wish I had a bit more of their work-life balance.

2. To make small talk or to just not

Boomers and millennials are more known for 'water cooler' talk โ€” or small talk conversations in the office. Before technology took over, that's what everyone did. You'd talk about the weather; we weren't all holding phones to entertain us.

Now, Gen Z doesn't feel the need to have those awkward conversations at work. They've grown up with a new form of distraction that previous generations did not have.

COVID-19 also occurred at a critical juncture in the lives of many members of the younger generation, causing them to miss experiences like proms and face the challenge of attending college from home because they had nothing else. Due to this, they keep to themselves.

I don't blame Gen Z, but older generations judge younger ones for being less social.

3. What they know and what they don't

Gen Z is tech-savvy. I consider myself low-tech and often ask my younger employees for help with my phone. They can also grasp new things quickly.

I've noticed that Gen Z sometimesย doesn't know how to do other important things, like writing a check, driving without a GPS, or mailing a letter โ€” that's a big one. To be fair, why would they? It's rare for people to send letters anymore.

Boomers can do these things as they grew up doing them, but technology is often new and harder for them since they spent most of their lives without it. Learning how to sign in and out of apps, for instance, can be a bit more difficult.

4. What they care about

The older generations seem to be more worried about job security. They believe in working hard because that's what you're supposed to do: you go to work and you work.

They're also more willing to deal with difficult bosses. I remember my mom would say, "You just can't let people get to you. All your bosses are going to suck," and that was the widely held belief.

Gen Z, however, has a different mindset. They're not as focused on getting promoted or constantly moving up. They need money and want a job, but they're not necessarily aiming to climb the ladder.

Gen Z also sets stronger boundaries around things like criticism. I don't think it's bad โ€” if your job isn't your whole life and personality, why should you worry about losing it?

Gen Z does seem to care about social issues, like saving the planet. For example, reusable cups are important to them.

Every generation brings something different to the workplace, a whole new set of strengths and weaknesses. Understanding and using them as advantages is the key to harmoniously working together.

Read the original article on Business Insider

6 mistakes to avoid making at the company holiday party, according to an etiquette expert

People in collared shirts and blazers clinking glasses of wine together.
There are a few things you should be mindful of when attending your company's holiday party.

ShineTerra/Shutterstock

  • Business Insider asked an etiquette expert for advice on attending a company holiday party.
  • She said employees shouldn't drink too much or feel pressured to consume alcohol because others are.
  • She recommends using this time to meet new people and form deeper connections with colleagues.

Many companies have started requiring workers to return to the office โ€” which also means having to attend corporate events again. However, striking a balance between having fun and remaining professional can be difficult.

As a result, etiquette mistakes are common at company holiday parties. To cover the biggest dos and don'ts, Business Insider asked Diane Gottsman, a professional etiquette expert, to share the key mistakes to watch out for when attending these gatherings.

Here's what she said.

Even if you'd rather be somewhere else, you shouldn't skip out on the holiday party

Although you might prefer to spend your time elsewhere, Gottsman explained that attending these events is an extension of your professional brand.

"I call it mandatory festivities or mandatory fun because it shows that you are engaged with your company. It's telling your boss that you care about your position in the firm โ€” you're a team player," she said.

Be mindful of how much you're drinking

Women in business-casual clothing holding glasses of wine.
Drinking excessively may impact your professional reputation.

dissx/Shutterstock

Gottsman said another thing to watch out for is how much you drink, even if everyone else โ€” including your boss โ€” is indulging.

"This isn't the time to get drunk and lose your credibility, because you still have to go to work on Monday," she told BI.

Holiday parties are still considered company time, so you should always remain aware of your professional reputation.

Don't feel pressured to drink

On the other hand, don't feel compelled to drink if you don't want to.

"If you don't drink for whatever reason, you don't have to give an excuse or a reason," Gottsman explained.

If you're more comfortable sticking with a seltzer or soda, you should do that.

Remember to send in your RSVP on time

People standing near a white countertop with empty glasses on it.
RSVPs allow the host to get a head count.

Taiyou Nomachi/Getty Images

If there's an RSVP on the invitation, it means the host is counting heads to ensure there's enough food, drinks, and place settings for each guest, Gottsman told BI. That's why it's important to respond in a timely manner.

She also said that once you RSVP, you've made a commitment that you shouldn't back out on.

Don't be the first to leave โ€” or overstay your welcome

It's best not to rush out the door at a corporate holiday party.

Gottsman told BI that leaving too early can make it look like you're eager to get out, which doesn't leave a great impression.

"If you get there and you leave 20 minutes later, people are going to notice," she said.

However, Gottsman also said you shouldn't overstay your welcome. For instance, she told BI that if the event ends at 9 o'clock, you've stayed too long if you're still there at 9:30 or 9:45.

If you'd like to continue interacting with your coworkers, she recommends leaving at the appropriate time and taking the party somewhere else.

Be sure to mix and mingle

Two people in suits shaking hands.
Holiday parties are a good time to make connections and build on existing relationships.

Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

When attending a holiday party, use the opportunity to build on existing relationships and meet new people, such as clients, vendors, or others in the company you don't know well.

"You shouldn't be sitting," Gottsman told BI. "You should be mixing and mingling unless you're eating. But if you are seated and someone walks up to you, you always want to stand for an introduction."

Additionally, if the event has name tags, make sure to grab one.

"Name tags are memory tools. They go on the right side of your shoulder to follow the line of sight of a handshake," Gottsman added.

Read the original article on Business Insider

A career coach shares 4 things to immediately stop sharing online if you're looking for a job

Madeline Mann headshot in office.

Diana Feil.

  • Madeline Mann, a career coach, advises job seekers to be careful about what they post online.
  • Mann said job recruiters will check a candidate's LinkedIn and other social media platforms.
  • She said sharing about your current job search journey on LinkedIn could backfire.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Madeline Mann, a 32-year-old career coach and CEO of Self Made Millennial from Los Angeles. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I've been a career coach for about six years. As the CEO of Self Made Millennial, my career coaching service, I want people to feel confident in selling themselves and ultimately land the job offer.

When it comes to job hunting, I tell my clients that recruiters will definitely check their LinkedIn profile โ€” but they might not stop there. It's very likely they'll search for candidates on other social media platforms too.

For that reason, when looking for work, there are several things you shouldn't share online. Here are four of them.

1. Don't share your job search journey

When you're job searching, I'd heavily advise against documenting your journey. There has been a surge of people on LinkedIn, sharing what it's like to apply for jobs in today's market.

They say things like, "Oh, I just went through this company's interview process, and I didn't get the job," or, "Look how silly this job application is โ€” and here's how I feel about it."

While it might get you some good engagement, understand employers are watching, too. As a job seeker, you don't want them to think, "Oh no, if we put this person through our interview process, what are they going to publicly say about our company?"

Although the job search journey can be pretty isolating, and it can feel good to talk about it, you really want to be cautious here.

2. Mental health

Similarly, I would advise against sharing your mental health journey online. This is something that has become a much more mainstream conversation and for such good reason.

But understand, it's something that an employer could make snap judgments on. Those hiring might question your ability to do the role, and you might not know it โ€” as they won't tell you that.

Sharing things about depression, or anxiety, might make an employer wonder, "How is that going to impact our business?" and "Are they going to be capable of this job?"

Even if you're being uplifting and reflective, it's very risky. Instead, I'd try to keep this more to your inner circle, where you can control who has access to knowing.

3. Don't share your rรฉsumรฉ online

On LinkedIn, there's an option to share your rรฉsumรฉ โ€” and I wouldn't recommend doing that.

If you share the same rรฉsumรฉ everywhere online, you're missing the chance to tailor it to what that company is looking for. This is especially important if you have diverse interests in different roles; that one rรฉsumรฉ could send the wrong message.

Instead, I suggest only sharing your rรฉsumรฉ with the company you're applying to, rather than making it public on your website or LinkedIn profile.

4. Consider not sharing political campaigns

If you've worked on a political campaign, it's important to consider whether you should actually include it on your LinkedIn profile.

Yes, you likely gained valuable experience, but before posting it, think about the cities you want to work in, the role you're applying for, and the jobs you'd like to pursue.

Many people struggle to separate their beliefs and may make assumptions based on who they think you voted for. These differences can cloud someone's judgment, and when you're applying for jobs, you don't want that to happen.

Even if they shouldn't, small biases can make a big impact. In the end, you don't want to give people the ability to quickly judge you before they get to know you.

Protecting your accounts

When applying for jobs, go to Google, type in your name, and see what comes up. A recruiter will usually start there. They might see your LinkedIn profile, but they could also come across your X and Instagram accounts, too. If those platforms appear, they'll likely click on those links.

To protect yourself from that happening โ€” you can do a few things. First, you can put your social media accounts on private, which isn't necessarily foolproof, but a start, or you can set your social media accounts to include just your first and middle name, so your last name doesn't appear.

You can also slightly misspell your last name. For example, I saw someone whose last name starts with "W," but he used two "V"s instead. That way, if someone searched his last name, it wouldn't show up.

But just as a general rule, know that if someone does get through your privacy settings, there are ways to see what you've liked and who you follow.

Before posting, ask yourself is this the right way to portray myself? Should I just send this in a group text to my friends instead? Really consider those things before posting.

If you're a career coach who would like to share helpful job searching tips, please email Manseen Logan at [email protected].

Read the original article on Business Insider

4 reasons you could be getting passed up for promotions, according to an ex-Google recruiter

Headshot of the author.
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Courtesy of Nolan Church; Chelsea Jia Feng/BI

  • Nolan Church is a former Google recruiter who says you could be holding yourself back from a promotion.
  • Performance gaps, lack of roles, and budget constraints can also hinder career advancement.
  • Advocating for oneself and seeking feedback are crucial for securing promotions.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Nolan Church, a 35-year-old former recruiter for Google and Doordash and now the cofounder and CEO of FairComp from Salt Lake City. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Before becoming the CEO of FairComp, a company that helps employees understand if they're paid fairly, I was a recruiter for Google for three years and led recruiting at Doordash for another three years.

I often saw colleagues and friends get overlooked for promotions. There are several reasons for this โ€” here are four of them.

1. Performance gap

The first one is a gap in performance. There could be a misalignment in how an employee thinks they're doing and how management thinks they're doing, most likely due to a lack of feedback.

Many people are bad at giving feedback. An employee could have poor communication skills, a negative attitude, or be a pessimist, but they may not know it. Or, when they do receive feedback, they argue about it instead of trying to remediate and improve. These things surface when it comes time for a promotion, but they're hard to fix when you're unaware it's a problem.

When looking for a promotion, make sure to ask for feedback on your current performance and actually listen. Then, document the feedback, improve, and ask your manager, "Can you help me understand the gap between where I'm at and the next level?" That way, you may get promoted in the next round of promotions.

In your one-on-one meetings after the initial conversation, you could say, "This is what we talked about in the past, and this is what I've been doing to improve. What's your feedback on how my performance has been progressing?"

This is also helpful if you aren't getting promoted due to a skill gap, like if you're trying to get promoted into a management role and you've never managed people before. Ask your manager what you need to work on to move on to the next level.

2. No job 'big enough'

You might be killing it at your job, but if the business doesn't have an open role or a scope big enough to justify your promotion, you typically won't get promoted.

For example, when Google employees reach level five, or terminal level, many will never get promoted again. Typically, there's no job big enough for them to go into next.

Once you reach the top, you might not see any additional compensation increases either. Some companies may make exceptions and offer more, but that's not the rule.

If this happens, you have a few options. You can stay put and try to keep learning within your role, search for other roles inside the company where there are opportunities to grow and ascend, or you might choose to leave the company.

3. Budget constraints or business challenges

If a business isn't doing well, promotions are most likely not happening or are occurring at a significantly decreased rate. If a business is experiencing some sort of struggle, it has no incentive to promote people, and your likelihood of getting promoted is significantly less than at a business that's doing well.

Typically, promotions come with a salary increase, but not all companies can always provide that. When this is the case, the solution for an employee seeking a promotion is situational.

If the economy is up but your company is not doing well, it might be time to look for another opportunity elsewhere. If the economy is down, you may consider staying put in your current role, as leaving in a bad economy can be risky.

Otherwise, if you leave and, six weeks later, your new company decides to run a layoff, you're more likely to be impacted because you lack tenure โ€” "last in, first out," can still be true today.

4. You aren't advocating for a promotion

You must advocate for yourself to get a promotion, but people are often terrible at doing that โ€” especially when working remotely. Instead of thinking, "I'm just going to do great work, and people are going to notice," you need to think, "I'm going to do great work, and I need to tell people about the work I'm doing."

I remember having a big mental shift in my career when I realized I needed to take responsibility and own it. I thought, "I can't expect my manager, who has a ton on their plate and a lot going on, to always be the one checking in on me. Instead, I need to advocate for myself."

Start by scheduling regular touchpoints with your manager so they understand the value you're providing to the organization โ€” something harder to see when you work remotely.

If you work from home, you need to overcompensate to combat this. When in person, people can see that you're working and can ask you questions without friction. To ensure your manager doesn't think you're slacking off, send snippets on Fridays that include everything you did that week and your priorities for next week. Also, send no-update updates, which update stakeholders on where things stand without them asking you.

That way, they're always aware of what you've done and what's coming next. If they want to provide feedback, you've given them an opportunity.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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