• My sister is much more low-key than I am, and for her 50th birthday, I wanted to pamper her.
• I planned a trip for her and two of our mutual friends to Las Vegas, and we had an amazing time.
• We packed so much into just two days, including indulgent meals and time at a spa.

In my family, I'm known as the one who knows how to really have fun and indulge in luxury when I travel. And this is especially true when it comes to birthdays: If I didn't see my name written on a plate in chocolate in some fabulous hotel, did I even have a birthday?

For her part, my sister is far less inclined to frivolities. But, as her 50th birthday drew closer on the calendar, I simply couldn't stand to let it go unacknowledged without the kind of blowout I'd want — indeed, expect! — for myself. So, I took over the planning and did it my way.

We went to Las Vegas and had a jam-packed trip

I gathered our group, including two of our mutual close girlfriends, for a girls' trip to Las Vegas — my favorite city for a party, hands down.

We four ladies all shacked up in a hotel room in the new Versailles Tower at Paris Las Vegas, where we had a high-floor balcony — a Strip rarity — with a knockout view directly over the Bellagio fountain. The famous fountain show, with its musical accompaniment, served as the appropriately festive backdrop while we primped and got ready to go out each evening.

Yes, of course, I brought along a "50 and fabulous" sash and tiara for my sister to wear on the Strip — a very not-her but totally-me demand for public attention for a milestone life moment that triggered tons of cheerful birthday wishes from passersby. (And it paired great with the matching heart-shaped sunglasses another friend brought for all of us to wear.)

First up, we headed to Lisa Vanderpump's new lounge, Pinky's — a gorgeous, gilded venue all about feminine energy and fun, with signature pink cocktails and dishes presented in opulent birdcages or frothing with dry ice.

From there, we hit the Dolby Live Theater with great seats for Mariah Carey's residency concert. It was the '90s nostalgic singalong that was perfectly on-theme for a 50th birthday bash and just what our group needed to get loose and grooving.

The following day, we started with mimosas and Dominick Ansel's famous (and famously rich) cronut pastries over brunch at Marché, setting the tone for a day entirely filled with bubbles until late at night.

Next, it was off to the spa — to me, this is an essential element of any girls' trip. We spent hours lounging in robes at Caesars' Palace's Qua Baths, an ancient Rome-inspired labyrinth of decadent pools and therapeutic spaces. Throughout, there were groups of women of all ages, chatting and laughing for more of a celebratory than a subdued atmosphere, and it was the perfect vibe.

That night, we hit the town again, first for an indulgent dinner at Bobby Flay's seafood restaurant Amalfi. There, we chose our fresh fish right off the ice in a market-style setup.

Afterward, we played blackjack over laughter and drinks in the casino before heading to a new nightspot dedicated entirely to caviar and live rock-and-roll music — Caspian's Rock and Roe — because nothing says "I'm 50 and worth it" like some fancy caviar on ice with a side of champers.

Being celebrated — and celebrating someone else — can be so joyful

In just two days, we packed in so much laughter, pampering, partying, and fun. It was enough to fuel us all through months of routine drudgery that necessarily comes with adulting and parenting.

Overall, the trip was a whopping success and the highlight of the year — for both my sister and me. I like to think I showed my big sister that a little strategic indulgence can really ease the existential dread that invariably comes with a major birthday.

And beyond that, I know I showed her how good it feels not just to wear the birthday tiara and celebrate with epic pampering and partying — but to know there's someone who loves you enough to make it all happen in your honor, even if you don't think you really need all the fuss.

• I try not to be a helicopter parent at home, but there are times when my children need supervision.
• On a recent vacation, however, we felt safe enough to let them have almost total independence.
• We were on a private island, and the independence they had gave them immediate confidence.

These days, many parents favor a hands-on, highly supervised, and tightly scheduled parenting style. However, unlike some of my peers, I'm not much of a helicopter parent. My twins, now 10 years old, have been lucky to grow up in our flat, friendly area of urban Los Angeles, where they enjoy the freedom to pop into neighbors' houses unannounced and unsupervised.

Still, at their age, their freedom is limited by the realities of our big-city environment — and their parents' enforcement of rules meant to protect them from it. So they can't ride their bikes out of sight or walk alone from their school bus stop a few blocks from home; the dangers (vehicular and human) associated with our traffic-packed cross streets are just too risky. And that creates a ceiling for their development and independence.

But the calculus changed for all of us on our recent family vacation when we spent a week at The Brando, a resort built upon a private island in French Polynesia. (Yes, my kids enjoy a posh travel life thanks to my job.) Completely inaccessible to unauthorized visitors — just a speck in the Pacific Ocean 30 miles north of Tahiti — there are no cars on this island, or even on the greater atoll.

We let our kids roam free during our vacation

There are just 35 villas (only a few of which were occupied at the time of our stay), and a staff village, tucked into a paradisical coconut palm jungle reminiscent of Gilligan's Island. That's it. And protected as it is by a lagoon, the waters surrounding the island are completely placid at all times.

For all those reasons, the greatest risk I saw to my kids on the island was sunburn — and my husband and I made sure they were well-slathered with sunscreen to protect against the tropical rays. Beyond that, they were free to explore as they wished — alongside their sibling or, in fact, entirely alone, as they preferred at a given moment.

So with their own keys around their wrists in the form of rubber bracelets, off my kids went. They hopped on their bikes, provided by the resort during our stay, and hit the paved path around the island. As long as they remained on this path, there was no real way to get lost, so they were free to explore among the palm jungles and deserted beaches at will. By the water, they found and named hermit crabs and watched fish swim in the lagoon. On land, they identified plants, swung in hammocks, and got soaked by warm rain.

All this time, they were away from their otherwise omnipresent screens — and also away from their parents and the level of oversight they get at home. The whole vibe was more of a 1970s approach to hands-off parenting, and I watched it pay off quickly.

We saw a change in them

In just a week, without the close supervision they get at home, I saw a change in my kids. They exuded greater independence, curiosity, courage, and confidence. Their problem-solving skills improved in this short time, as did their sense of direction and navigational prowess.

Because they were on their own out there, and they didn't have us feet away at all times to lean on for assistance instinctively, they tended to solve their own small problems — like dusting off a scraped knee after toppling on a bike, and making sure to bring along the stuff they felt they needed (such as swim goggles and water bottles, which I'd normally take responsibility for stashing in my beach bag and divvying out when needed, mom style). It was a refreshing change — for all of us.

I also distinctly noticed a particular joy — a carefree affect I don't see from them as frequently in their highly scheduled and supervised normal lives.

Back home after our trip, we snapped back into our typical patterns — the standard buzzkill associated with post-vacation reentry. Resuming my typical level of parental oversight seemed necessary and appropriate given their still-young age, and amid the real and varied risks of our densely populated county, home to nearly 10 million people and a host of social, political, economic, and climate-related problems. (Soon after, widespread wildfires would decimate the city and close their school for nearly two weeks.)

But I like to think the independence and confidence they gained during their free-range week in paradise will continue to serve them well back in the real world. At any rate, it sure was fun — for all of us — while it lasted.

• After giving birth to twins, I built a wardrobe aimed at trying to hide my waist.
• However, after working with a personal stylist, I realized this approach was sabotaging my look.
• Instead, the stylist encouraged me to accentuate my waistline with tailored tops and belts.

Ten years ago, I carried my twins to full term, and they came out big and healthy.

However, my pregnant belly was enormous, and my overstretched ab muscles couldn't come back together after pregnancy, leaving me with a significant case of diastasis recti (abdominal-muscle separation) and a rounded-out belly.

This took a major toll on my body image, which, in turn, affected the way I dressed myself. Instead of expressing my personal style through my clothes — something I'd always loved to do — I built a wardrobe around simply trying to hide my waist area.

Feeling like it was time for a change, I started working with Chellie Carlson, a stylist based in my Los Angeles neighborhood.

Over the course of two meetings, Carlson helped me shop my closet and found one major mistake I was making that sabotaged my entire look.

Carlson looked through my clothes and identified the mistake I was making

During our meetings, Carlson sorted through my clothes and explained that my approach to hiding my midsection was actually making me look bigger in the area I wanted to deemphasize.

My clothes were exaggerating my proportions rather than streamlining them — which wasn't doing me any favors.

She explained that the more flattering approach would be to accentuate my waistline with tailored tops and belts.

So, under Carlson's guidance, I took all my peplum tops out of the closet and tossed them into the donation pile.

She also encouraged me to take a billowing shirt — like my favorite silky button-down — and tuck it into my pants for a more flattering and polished look.

For my other loose-fitting tops — like graphic T-shirts — she showed me how to use a clear hair elastic to invisibly cinch them in the back, creating a more fitted and flattering silhouette.

The closet overhaul boosted my confidence and inspired me to express my personal style again

After working with the stylist, I felt inspired to buy some new pieces in the spirit of dressing with confidence. However, this time, I was driven by a neutral attitude toward my form instead of a self-loathing one.

Based on Carlson's suggestions, I'm now layering my slimmer-fitting tops with oversize blazers or outer layers, which help elongate my torso and balance the look. I'm also pairing everything with high-waisted and wider-leg pants that help me strike a more proportional — and current — style.

Overall, I couldn't be happier with the results of our meetings. The closet overhaul boosted my confidence and inspired me to express my personal style again.

I still won't be wearing crop tops or clingy dresses — this isn't a story about suddenly finding absolute peace with a changed body — but I've learned to express myself in a way that better complements my body.

• For a recent girls' trip, I created an itinerary for spending a perfect 48 hours in Las Vegas.
• We got a great hotel on the Las Vegas Strip, went to an adults-only pool club, and rented cabanas.
• Other highlights included the Bacchanal Buffet, Liquid Pool Lounge, and Vanderpump a Paris.

I've been planning girls' trips to Las Vegas since I hit the legal gambling age about two decades ago.

These epic getaways have taken many forms, including my own raging bachelorette party 15 years ago.

Recently, though, I planned a girls' trip to celebrate both my birthday and the divorce of one of my best friends (yes, she wore a sash for the occasion).

Our group has been traveling to Sin City for decades, and now that we're in our mid-40s, we have different requirements — specifically, more comfort, better food, and a well-balanced schedule.

On this trip, I'd say I nailed the exact right itinerary for our 48 hours in Las Vegas.

On Friday, we checked into our hotel on the Strip

When we arrived in Vegas on Friday, we checked right into MGM Resorts' ARIA. It's one of my favorite places to stay on the Strip because it's centrally located, chic, and stocked with amenities — including a massive pool complex.

We wasted no time heading downstairs for a dip and spending the rest of the afternoon in the water with drinks.

As the sun started to dip, we headed upstairs to shower and get dressed before walking over to The Cosmopolitan's Boulevard pool for sunset cocktails and live music.

I love a spot that offers a view of the Strip in the evening as the lights start to pop. (Skyfall Lounge at the Delano is another great option with a view.)

Then, it was time for a spectacular meal to cap off our first night in town. We went to the buzzy French-Mediterranean restaurant Cathédrale, which felt perfect for a special occasion with its beautiful dining room and upscale menu.

Afterward, we called it a night to prepare for the busy Saturday ahead.

Our second day of the trip was packed with fun and food

After a solid first night of sleep, we were ready for a busy Saturday lineup.

The main event for the day was hanging out at the Liquid Pool Lounge, an adults-only pool club. We got a cabana with a bottle of vodka and a spread of munchies for the group.

We had a blast drinking and pool dancing the afternoon away until around 5 p.m. Afterward, some of us took a nap to regroup before we put on our party clothes.

Then, we hopped in an Uber to the first stop on our itinerary for the night: the immersive, interactive art installation Fantasy Lab Las Vegas. The walk-through experience was trippy with lots of fun photo opportunities.

When we left, we were ready to chow down at Lisa Vanderpump's cocktail lounge Vanderpump a Paris.

It offered the kind of indulgent shared dishes we were craving, including a birdcage packed with cheese and a truffle-stuffed baguette. By the time we wrapped up there, it was about 11:30 p.m.

Our group then headed to Encore Beach Club, where Shaquille O'Neal spun a DJ set that began around 1:30 a.m. After that, I sleepily headed back to the hotel, though some of the other girls partied until 5 a.m.

We ended the trip with a big brunch and lots of relaxation

The last day's agenda was simple and filled with food — just what the doctor ordered.

We headed for an over-the-top Sunday brunch at Caesars Palace's Bacchanal Buffet, the largest buffet in Vegas with hundreds of different dishes. It was truly epic, and we got enough food to last us hours.

After brunch, we were stuffed but made time for one last highlight: We'd reserved a pool cabana at Caesars' Garden of the Gods Pool Oasis, where we could cool off and enjoy the swim-up poker bar on the main level.

Finally, a few hours before our flight, we tossed coverups on top of our swimsuits, retrieved the bags we'd checked with the bellhop, and headed straight to the airport.

• I've planned girls' trips with friends for years, but it's been harder to coordinate them over time.
• We all have a lot going on, and many of us have kids who can be especially tough to plan around.
• Our adults-only trips aren't going anywhere, but we now plan group trips with our daughters, too.

Since college, I've been fortunate to have a big, close-knit group of girlfriends — and I've prioritized nurturing those friendships.

I especially love strengthening our bonds during getaways, and in my group, I handle planning and coordinating the girls' trips.

Since the '90s, I've spearheaded countless getaways for our group — from raging college spring breaks (New Orleans) to bachelorette parties and divorce parties (both Vegas), to milestone birthdays (my 21st in NYC and 30th in Jamaica), to healing retreats after illness and loss.

These trips have been a great source of joy, laughter, healing, and countless memories — one that sustains us through distance and life's tribulations.

I'm determined to keep up the girls' trip tradition, especially as life looks different for all of us.

There are more factors to consider now that we're adults with full lives

In our teens and early 20s, finding time and space for bonding was easy because many of us lived together and had few distractions.

As life has gone on, those opportunities for connection have become fewer and more difficult to coordinate. We no longer live under one roof, and many of us aren't even in the same city.

In our group, there are big jobs, spouses or partners, ailing and elderly parents, a wide range of disposable incomes, and home projects.

For many of us, there are also kids. This element, in particular, makes it harder for people to commit to dates and make a trip happen: There's homework to do, drop-off and pick-up schedules to coordinate, and sometimes no partner who can help.

It can be hard to prioritize time for yourself as a parent, let alone make time for a trip with friends.

A recent change of plans helped me approach girls' trips in a new way

My last girls' trip to Palm Springs was an impulsive overnight stay at an Airbnb oasis with a jewel box of a pool amid a historic heat wave.

My friend had intended to celebrate her anniversary with her husband and daughter there — but when he got sick, she invited my daughter and I to join for a two-generation girls-only sleepover instead.

While we hung out, our daughters (ages 7 and 10) had fun among themselves. When we all came together, we did pedicures and facials, had cannonball contests, and shared a huge tray of nachos by the pool.

This arrangement was fun and rewarding, plus it eased some of the logistical burdens involved in coordinating childcare. It also helped me realize how nice it could be to incorporate our daughters into some of our trips.

Mom-daughter trips won't replace our old format entirely. Importantly, some friends in our group have no kids (and no interest in spending leisure time with them), and some have only sons.

Still, I'm hoping the two-generation girls' trip flourishes as one extension of a cherished tradition in our expanded circle as life goes on.

Most of all, I'm thrilled to expose the next generation to the soul-satisfying joy of girls' trips, a travel style that I believe nurtures friendships and supports sanity across all stages of life.

• I hated feeling like I had nothing to wear, so I hired a personal stylist to help me shop my closet.
• The stylist showed me how to reinvent some of my existing pieces to make them feel current.
• Although I had fewer pieces in my closet, I felt like I had more options than ever.

As a longtime shopping enthusiast, I've pretty much always had a closet full of clothes.

Now that I've reached middle age, I've amassed some pretty nice things among my own racks. Over the years, I've scored some designer-consignment finds, collected a bunch of high-end samples through my job as a lifestyle journalist, and splurged on some higher-end pieces.

Somehow, though, I came up empty every time I opened my closet to get dressed for any particular occasion — from my kids' sporting activities to lunch meetings and date nights. It always seemed that I was staring down a full closet full of absolutely nothing to wear.

For help, I reached out to Chellie Carlson, a stylist based in my own Los Angeles neighborhood, whose philosophy is all about helping regular people put together a wardrobe that lights them up.

Here's how my styling appointment went.

Carlson started by evaluating each piece of clothing I owned.

Carlson arrived at my house with an assistant and a portable rolling rack. They got to work pulling everything out of my closet by category — tops, pants, dresses — and hanging one group at a time on the rack to evaluate each.

Carlson said it's hard to analyze your own inventory when you're staring at the same hodgepodge you see every day. So, to see your clothing with fresh eyes, you have to bring each piece into the light separately.

She used his method to help me put together a capsule wardrobe using my own things.

Right away, she was able to identify the pieces I should donate.

Right off the bat, she identified one factor keeping me from a successful wardrobe: I had a few viable tops, but too many unbecoming ones muddying my choices.

So, we chucked the peplums and cap sleeves, both unflattering styles, into the donation pile.

She gave me some tips on how to make my clothes look and fit better.

Next, Carlson showed me how to reinvent some of my existing tops to make them feel current and tailored to my body — no professional tailor (or big expense) required.

She showed me methods like cutting off the bottom of a too-long sweater with scissors and cinching the back of a T-shirt using a clear ponytail band to create a custom fit.

I finally parted with my skinny jeans and other dated pieces.

I'm a Xennial, and an affinity for skinny jeans is in my generation's DNA. So, I was holding onto a lot of them.

However, Carlson recommended donating my skinny pants and showed me how the wider-cut options in my existing wardrobe can look sleek and polished. She said that by pairing these pants with more fitted shirts, I'll get that same overall shapely silhouette I'd associated with skinny jeans.

In addition to my pants, it turns out my shoe collection was also standing between me and a chic and current capsule wardrobe. I love espadrilles for all my tropical travels, and I had a closet full of chunky wedges, platforms, and stilettos.

However, these aren't the most effective or modern options. For a more streamlined and on-trend look, she said I should lean into some of my kitten heels and flats and bump some of those stilettos into the giveaway pile.

Carlson helped me create new outfits using my existing clothes.

Carlson helped me see that I had plenty of dresses — so I can hold off on that category whenever I get the shopping bug.

She showed me how to update the look of a cute slip dress I had in my closet by pairing it with an oversize blazer and cowboy boots.

This approach also provided more body coverage, giving me the confidence to reach for the slinkier styles I already owned but didn't often muster the confidence to wear.

With a much emptier closet, my "new" capsule wardrobe took shape.

With far fewer pieces of clothing in my closet, my new wardrobe took shape. Suddenly I felt like I had more options, not less.

At a glance, I could now see everything that fit right and was a viable option amid a less-cluttered closet landscape. I also knew how to pair these remaining pieces together as a cohesive capsule that's right on trend.

It turns out that process of curation and guidance — not more clothes — was actually the piece my closet had been missing all along.

• Me and my family love high-end luxury travel but my sister and her family aren't used to it.
• We went on a big group trip, and I chose to go to a luxury resort that was right up my alley.
• My sister's family seemed bored and out of their comfort zones at times, but we all bonded.

I'm well known in my family for my love of high-end luxury travel.

Although I used to rough it in my earlier years, these days you'll rarely find me staying anywhere that's not at least on par with a Four Seasons.

My sister has the opposite inclinations: Her last trip involved building community centers in rural Mexico with my niece.

Still, we pushed to make a joint family vacation happen this summer. We hoped it'd help deepen the bond between our kids, who are five first cousins between the ages of 9 and 17.

She let me take the reins on the trip, so I gathered our families for a vacation to the ultra-luxurious Four Seasons at Cabo del Sol in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

The posh trip was a great bonding experience even though I don't think my sister and her family were fully sold on it.

The luxurious accommodations were great, and we didn't really leave the resort

My branch of the family was thrilled as soon as we arrived at our resort.

We had no problem settling into our massive suite with a private pool overlooking the ocean and a walk-in closet as big as our kitchen at home.

It took my sister's family a lot more time to settle into their similar accommodations — a far cry from when they'd slept under wool blankets on plywood platforms on their last trip to Mexico.

Together, we enjoyed the property's expansive pool — the kind where you never have to fight for a chaise lounger and two varieties of resort-issued sunscreen are available on tap.

The five cousins (and us moms) spent hours in the game room, playing friendly competitions of billiards, ping-pong, and pinball.

Still, we didn't really leave the property or do much exploring. I didn't mind, but I could tell my sister and her family weren't as thrilled.

Since there were multiple restaurants at the resort, it was easiest to eat just about all of our meals there without leaving.

Although the resort had tons of kayaks, boogie boards, and snorkel equipment lined up on the beach, it wasn't feasible to take them out for a spin on the choppy coastline in the area.

The kids were disappointed that the sea felt like a bit of a tease — a hint at the possibility of more adventurous days that weren't.

I didn't win over my sister, but the relaxing trip helped us bond

To me, the slow pace, convenience, and luxury make resort-style environments like these great options for a big family vacation.

But the truth is, I could tell my sister's family was a little bored. Her brood is more used to engaging in cultural deep dives or strenuous physical activities than sitting around being pampered.

Meanwhile, my kids grew up on this style of posh travel and eat it up, devouring it as a restful counterpart to the more vigorous trips we also do as a family.

In the end, I probably didn't win over my sister's branch of the family to my way of traveling like I secretly hoped I would. But the trip was still a great success because it allowed us to bond and connect as a family.

The resort provided a slower backdrop for simply being together. We didn't have to worry about running around to different places while juggling a packed itinerary.

And I suspect my sister's family will remember it this way too — with a deep fondness for the memories it helped create — even if they aren't likely to make a habit of this style of trip.