• Over the last 25 years, I've been on over a dozen multigenerational family vacations.
• I've learned planning early and keeping the limits and interests of those going in mind helps.
• It can also be helpful to book separate accommodations if possible.

My Roman holiday taught me that pillows are not just for sleeping. They're my coping method of choice, excellent at muffling frustrated screams while locked in the bathroom on a three-week family trip in the Italian capital.

I've done over a dozen multigenerational trips, from large reunions to birthday cruises and seaside anniversaries. Planning to avoid such moments — when you, the adult child, turn back into a sobbing five-year-old thanks to a triggering argument with your mother — is key to a successful family holiday.

Making golden holiday memories with the ones you love most requires someone to be the adult in the room, armed with strategies to avoid the pitfalls — about money, the itinerary, past grievances — and ensure that great experiences are created, instead of ones that belong in Dante's circle of hell.

A multigenerational vacation usually includes three (or more) generations of family members, but there are no hard and fast rules on inclusion. When you've got a large group with wide-ranging ages (anywhere from newborns to 80+), differing physical abilities, financial resources, and interests, trip organization can become an overwhelming and stressful juggling act. Planning and patience are key to surviving a multigenerational trip and ensuring it goes as smoothly as possible.

Plan in advance, and think about who is going

Our most recent multigenerational trip involved celebrating my parents-in-law's 60th wedding anniversary in the Belgian seaside town where they were married. We started planning the date one year in advance and worked backward on booking accommodation and flights, invitations, catering, the party venue, etc.

The organizational heavy lifting can be a group endeavor, but it's best to appoint some lead planners or go outside the family circle entirely and hire a travel agent to handle the booking complexities. "Going pro" can ease the load and save time and stress.

It's important to remember trip participants' ages, interests, and limitations. Our Belgian adventure included teenagers and octogenarians, blind uncles, and frail aunts. We planned day trips and activities to do together and apart, and this made the trip better for everyone.

Separate accommodations are helpful, if possible

I chalk that success up to experience. My first multigenerational trip with my parents and kids was to Honolulu, Hawaii nearly 25 years ago. Two kitchen-equipped apartments within easy walking access to the beach meant carefree time with our then-toddlers, who were solely interested in sandcastles, ice cream, and little else.

The separate accommodations allowed us space and independence so we could plan activities (naps, couple time) separately or together with ease.

Patience — with yourself and each other — is key

It's taken me a bit longer to figure out how to pack my patience — that key accessory so vital when traveling with others, when even the best relationships are tested by jet lag and ancient grievances.

Knowing the touchpoints that can trigger strong emotions and finding the patience and coping mechanisms — screaming into cushions, taking a walk — are necessary to cool situations that can ruin both vacations and family ties.

Talk about money before the trip

Conflict about money is one of the most contentious aspects of multigenerational trip planning. Unless you have a grandma or uncle with deep pockets, no one party is going to cover the entire cost of the trip. Honest conversations about who will pay for what — well ahead of the departure date — will help reduce arguments down the line.

Traveling with family is worth it. At its best, a multigenerational trip is an unforgettable opportunity to spend time with the people you love the most; for littles to enjoy priceless moments with grandparents; and for adult children to savor and foster relationships across generations. Just remember the pillow.

• My husband and I just took our teenagers to an all-inclusive resort for the first time.
• I'm the primary vacation planner, so overall, I enjoyed the ease of a family all-inclusive vacation.
• We spent time together when we wanted to, but it was also easy for us to do our own thing.

My husband and I have traveled to several all-inclusive resorts together, but we'd never taken our kids to one until recently. While our family's decision to homeschool leaves lots of travel opportunities open to us, an all-inclusive vacation just hadn't lined up until we decided to visit Beaches Turks and Caicos with our 14- and 16-year-old earlier this month.

As the parent who does the bulk of the planning when we vacation, I suspected visiting an all-inclusive resort with my kids would be a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of being the travel coordinator. Eager to test my theory, we chose a Beaches resort because it's the sister resort to Sandals, where my husband and I spent a week earlier in the summer and loved it. Here's what it was like.

Little planning was required on my part

Like most all-inclusive resorts, everything at Beaches Turks and Caicos was taken care of for us. With more than 20 restaurants on the property, there was always something for everyone at mealtime. Excursions could be booked easily through the resort, and the front desk staff helped us book a taxi into town. There were pools, miles of white sand beach, and a schedule of activities like karaoke and trivia. There were also kids clubs, including one for teens in my kids' age group.

I'm known to develop quite the busy itinerary when we travel on our own, so being able to show up at an all-inclusive and play things by ear felt like a welcome respite.

We could all do our own thing and still found time to spend together

Because there were pools, activities, and teen clubs, my family was flexible about splitting up and doing our own thing when we wanted. My son, more of an introvert, enjoyed watching movies on the television in our room or reading during his downtime, while my daughter made time to work on her tan and float on rafts.

My husband and I were able to sneak off for cocktails and mocktails or early-morning beach walks while the kids did their own thing. But we also scheduled mandatory family time, like excursions or nightly dinners together, to get an even split of independent activities and family bonding.

There were plenty of restaurants, so we could find other options when necessary

I'm a big researcher of restaurants, and it's happened more than once that we've traveled to a specific restaurant on vacation, only to be disappointed. Since there are tons of restaurant options available at an all-inclusive, we found it easier to pivot and choose the best restaurant for our family during our sit-down meals together.

Case in point: After being seated at the on-property hibachi restaurant, we realized the experience was going to be much louder and more chaotic than we were in the mood for. We politely excused ourselves before ordering and headed to a French bistro instead, where we enjoyed a quiet meal and some great conversation with our kids.

Booking excursions through the resort made seeing the island incredibly easy

There was an on-site desk where guests could book excursions to see more of the island of Providenciales. On our trip, we chose a three-hour catamaran tour that took us to an island filled with iguanas, snorkeling, and deep into the ocean for swimming.

The ease of booking things through the resort was lovely, and it was relaxing for me as a mom to just show up, sunscreen and towels in hand, and go on an adventure with my family without lots of pre-planning. Because our boat tour was coordinated through the resort, there were even food and drinks offered on board, all included with the trip, so I didn't even need to think about packing snacks.

Still, we took some time to leave the resort for an adventure on our own

We did head off-property once to explore the downtown area of Providenciales. Years ago, I read about Potcake Place, a dog rescue on the island, and wanted to volunteer to walk one of its rescue pups for a morning. We took a taxi from the resort lobby into town and signed up to walk a pup and explore the town, and it was a true highlight for our family.

Traveling with my teenage daughter usually needs to include pricey iced lattes and shopping in town, so this was a great way to check some of her favorite activities off the list while helping out and bonding with a potcake puppy.

As a sober person, I liked the vibe of a family resort

I've been living an alcohol-free lifestyle for over a year, and have visited an adults-only all-inclusive resort as a sober person along with my husband, who drinks alcohol. While adults-only resorts have a definite nightlife vib, with open bars and tipsy late-night entertainment, I found the family all-inclusive vibe to be much less alcohol-focused.

Sure, the resort was still all-you-can-drink, but I felt much less pressure to be out late with a mocktail in hand since I had my kids with me. Instead, we watched movies some evenings in our room, and I went to bed early with a good book.

Overall, I'd visit an all-inclusive resort with my kids again

While there were some cons to our resort — like long restaurant wait times and staff that often gave us incorrect information or seemed overworked and exhausted — there were plenty of happy moments, too. Overall, visiting an all-inclusive resort with my teenagers was a great experience, one that required little to no planning on my part once our flights and resort were booked. It allowed me to focus on being present with my kids.

I know my time taking family vacations with my teens is limited, as soon they'll be off to college or settled into their own lives. Taking a trip to Beaches Turks and Caicos with them now, while they're still able to travel the world with us, was a lot of fun, even with some stressful moments.