• Martins Lasmanis, the founder of Supliful, struggles with balancing startup growth and family time.
• Supliful quickly gained traction, and Lasmanis began working 16-hour days with three young kids.
• He now schedules family time and delegates work to manage 'dad guilt' and improve work-life balance.

My youngest son turned 3 this year — the same age as my startup, Supliful. As I watched my toddler playing on his birthday, I felt a strong sense of guilt creep up inside me. He wasn't a baby anymore, and I realized I'd missed out on him growing up.

"They grow up so fast!" is what all parents say. That day, this cliché suddenly felt terrifyingly real. Even worse — it felt as if, over the past three years, I'd spent more time growing my startup than paying attention to my children growing up.

That feeling was torturous

I've always wanted two things in life: a big family and my own business. Family is where I find peace and joy, and I find self-fulfillment in business. I've never been able to sit still and must be in constant motion.

In 2021, when I became a father of three and founder of a newly launched startup, I felt I was on the right path. My life goals were being met. I was nailing it.

While I didn't expect raising three kids and building a company from scratch would be easy, I didn't worry much either. I had already been there — a few years prior, I was running a successful online store while raising two preschoolers. I thought I had the experience necessary to handle the new responsibilities.

I was wrong

I soon realized my new venture had much more potential and was more complex and demanding than anything I had built before.

When I attracted serious interest from VC investors, my company was still in its ideation phase. We onboarded hundreds of users just three weeks after making our product public. By our second year in business, we were already making over $1M in revenue.

Success came with challenges and new responsibilities. I had to quickly grow our team, onboard new partners, and open a new fulfillment center on the other side of the world to ensure quality service to our clients — all while ensuring we didn't run out of money.

I spent my days on back-to-back calls with investors, business partners, and new hires. In the evenings, I sometimes had to help my colleagues pack and send out orders. I'd regularly travel between our office in Europe and the fulfillment center in Denver, feeling guilty for leaving my family behind every time.

My wife was extremely understanding

Throughout our 13 years together, my wife has always supported me. Although she wasn't happy about me staying late in the office or leaving for another business trip, she always encouraged me to pursue my career goals.

Without realizing it, my working days got longer. At one point, I worked 12 hours a day and sometimes as many as 16 hours.

I still tried to be as hands-on as possible with my kids. My wife and I had our own caregiving "shifts" — I covered mornings and after-work, taking the kids to and from school and day care. My wife handled the evening, taking care of dinner and putting the three to bed. We all tried to spend time together between dinner and my late work calls.

Eventually, a dreaded day came

"Daddy, you're working too much." My 7-year-old daughter caught me off guard. We had just finished our dinner one evening in September, and I prepared to disappear into my home office for another round of calls and emails. I responded "I know. I'm trying to build this business, but I should be more present with you."

I realized I was experiencing an enormous feeling of guilt — the feeling of failing as a parent because I wasn't there for my kids. While I saw my tight work schedule as a sprint that would eventually end, my kids only saw me working.

I had heard about "mom guilt," a term often used to describe the feeling women have when they believe they're not meeting their own or others' expectations in their role as parents.

I felt "dad guilt" — the dark side of entrepreneurship and many other demanding jobs requiring long hours. Every day, I feel guilty for not prioritizing my children or failing to build my startup.

I wish I had an easy fix to make this all balance out

I don't have a solution, but I have found a few things that make the weight easier to carry.

I make it a point to schedule family time on my calendar and never cancel it. I treat it as seriously as any work meeting and make a real effort to be present.

I set high standards, but I've had to remind myself that perfection isn't real. Sometimes, I take stock of the good I've done, balancing it against the areas I wish to improve. Reminding myself of these positives helps me feel more at peace with where I am.

I've delegated more work to my team, allowing me to spend more time with my kids this past month. We're moving to the US next year, so that will be another adventure.

Through it all, I'm beyond grateful for my wife. She's my best friend, and her unwavering support allows me to pursue my entrepreneurial dreams.

• Michael Allen stopped buying pricey Christmas presents for his friends and family in college.
• His financial priorities changed after leaving the Marine Corps and working toward his degree.
• Allen values time with loved ones over material gifts and emphasizes memories over money.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Michael Allen, a 54-year-old author from Titusville, Florida. It has been edited for length and clarity.

In 1995, I realized I couldn't give expensive gifts anymore. I was used to buying gifts to impress my loved ones, and I received nice gifts as well. At a younger age, I would get things like an Atari with games, boxing gloves, or a football. Gift cards, nice clothes, and even a watch were more common presents as I grew older.

As a college student and a recently retired Marine, my priorities were school and food. My next goal after serving in the Marine Corps was to get a degree. Not wanting to participate in the "who bought the most expensive present" game made sense.

I was getting by on side jobs

I tutored other college students and worked as a bouncer. Although I was only making enough money to cover my necessities, I was looking forward to achieving my goals of becoming an English teacher and a writer.

Buying extravagant things at the expense of putting myself in huge debt didn't seem attractive. I knew my financial situation had changed throughout my life, and I had to spend and save accordingly.

Reflecting on the hard work I put in made me extremely proud rather than ashamed of my financial background.

I decided to have a conversation with my friends and family

One day before Christmas, I asked my friends and family to lower their expectations regarding future gifts. I told them about my financial situation, what I could spend on, and what I was trying to accomplish.

Spending exorbitant amounts on Christmas was out of the question. Being open and honest about my struggles and primary issues worked out in my favor. I wasn't nervous to have this conversation.

Most of them understood, and I was truly relieved once I confessed. It immediately broke the needless superficial confinement I had put myself in to conform to the norms.

I also prepared myself to receive less of what I had previously

While some family members would still buy me costly gifts, some limited their splurging on me after this conversation. I was satisfied with getting whatever they would get me, even if it was nothing sometimes. Some even joined me in setting this boundary for themselves.

I started enjoying Christmas even more without having to impress people with my gift-giving superpowers. I became accustomed to speaking my mind and being truthful at all times. When you embrace life in that manner, many burdens are lifted.

Even as I make more money, gifts still don't seem important to me

My financial situation has improved, but I now sometimes only hand out one present per person. I make sure it's something meaningful and not just anything.

I once made my mother a loving video, and she still plays it often. On another occasion, I built a website for my daughter and made her a book. Personalization goes a long way.

Focusing on getting together with your loved ones and spending purposeful time with them are the only significant things of concern to me. Gifts are a component of Christmas, not the foundation.

Memories matter, not money. Food, drinks, old movies, and a good time is all I care about getting from anyone.

• Erwin Jacob Miciano left the Navy in 2021 to focus on his real estate business full-time.
• Miciano and his wife used VA loans to buy a triplex and start their business, Semi Homes.
• Semi Homes helps homeowners avoid foreclosure and launched Miciano's real estate career.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Erwin Jacob Miciano, a 27-year-old real-estate investor and the owner of Semi Homes in South El Monte, California. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I'm a dedicated dad, a committed husband, a real-estate investor, and the co-owner of Semi Homes, a real-estate company specializing in direct-to-seller transactions and marketing strategies. I co-own the company with my wife, Theressa.

I don't have a college degree. I graduated from high school in 2015 and first worked at Wetzel's Pretzels. I decided to join the Navy to support my family abroad in the Philippines and my mom and brother in the US.

In March 2016, after three months of boot camp, I completed the basic training to become a photojournalist. Until September 2021, I served as a mass communication specialist, with most of my overseas years based in Japan, stationed on the USS Ronald Reagan.

I separated from the military in 2021 to pursue real estate full-time

My Navy job included writing press releases, aerial photography, videography, and printing. In later years, I was stationed at the Naval Hospital Balboa in San Diego, where we covered COVID-19, and I was deployed with USNS Mercy to San Pedro in Los Angeles during the pandemic.

I was presented with an "early out" program because of overmanning in my job, and it allowed me to complete my contract a couple of years early. I had already started my business, but leaving the military allowed me to pursue it full-time.

I also wanted to spend more time with my young family. My eldest was born in January 2020.

My wife and I met on the day I arrived on the USS Ronald Reagan in 2016

We became friends through the first-response/firefighting team, where she worked as an electrician. We also noticed each other at church services, and she invited me to her baptism ceremony, where she was baptized inside an open jet fuel tank.

Early in our relationship, we lived together in a small Japanese apartment. Then, we spent about a year doing long-distance, with me still deploying on the carrier and her based in San Diego.

After a year of dating, we got married, and soon after some vacation in the US, we discovered we were expecting our first child. During most of her pregnancy, Theressa lived alone until I got stationed in San Diego around her seventh month.

That same year, I became deeply interested in personal finance and real-estate investing, inspired by stories of blue-collar workers achieving financial freedom through real estate. I learned the most from the BiggerPockets podcasts.

We were motivated to become first-time homebuyers

We were eager to apply what we had learned and planned to use the VA loan entitlement from our military service. VA entitlement is how much lenders can lend to a veteran or active duty member without providing a down payment.

We aimed to buy a multifamily property — ideally a duplex, triplex, or fourplex — so we could live in one unit and rent the others to offset our mortgage. Today, this strategy is known as house hacking.

Being stationed in San Diego gave us a few key advantages

The housing allowance we received as military members was higher than in most US locations, boosting our household income to about $10,000-$12,000 monthly. This allowance was discontinued once we both left the military. Theressa left the Navy almost a year before I did at the end of 2020.

Second, the VA loan allowed us to buy a multifamily property with zero down payment.

Third, we included 75% of the gross rental income from the property in our loan application, increasing our approved loan amount. On paper, our monthly gross increased to $15,000-$17,000.

Finally, new legislation removed local VA loan limits for first-time users, giving us more purchasing power.

After months of searching, we found a triplex listed for $1.2 million

We offered $1 million and settled at $1.1 million. By March 2020, we had moved into a three-bedroom unit while renting out the other two for about $4,000 a month, reducing our housing costs to less than what one-bedroom rentals were going for at the time. This was the start of Semi Homes.

After living in the triplex for two years, we moved in with my mom and brother in September 2021 in the San Gabriel Valley. The triplex is now fully a rental property generating $1,500 to $2,000 monthly profit.

My day-to-day work involves meeting with homeowners who are looking for support in selling their properties

We now buy properties and resell them for a profit. We also help sellers in deep foreclosure and save them from it. My role is to get my team in front of our target audience and guide clients through the entire process, all the way to the closing table.

There are also late-night administrative hours and business-building, which I work on three to four nights a week. The biggest change from my Navy days is that I'm no longer away from my family for long periods — a small freedom I cherish.

I feel both fulfilled and successful

While Semi Homes started as a way to build wealth and achieve financial freedom for my family, it's grown into something more.

We stay in this tough business because we truly believe in the value we provide to the individuals we work with. I'm focused on building our online presence and spreading the word that foreclosing is not the only option.

I see myself in real estate for the rest of my life.

Want to share your story about getting on the property ladder? Email Lauryn Haas at [email protected].

• Samantha Shih sold her custom clothing company 9Tailors to join LookSky as chief brand officer.
• Shih founded 9Tailors in 2008, growing it through challenges like the financial crisis and pandemic.
• Her C-suite role both doubled her salary and allowed her to balance her work and family life.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Samantha Shih, a 43-year-old chief brand officer from Boston. It's been edited for length and clarity.

After graduating from Brown University in 2003, I worked as a consultant at Deloitte for three years before spending a year in China. There, I started making custom clothing, which inspired me to open a custom suiting and shirting company. I founded 9Tailors in Boston in 2008.

Launching a business was challenging because I had little experience in retail and fashion and had to learn everything from scratch. I had some business strategy knowledge from working at Deloitte but didn't have operational knowledge.

I learned and grew the company for 14 years. In 2022, I sold 9Tailors and jumped ship to work for a startup.

Launching a company in 2008 was tough

I had a lot of friends who were getting laid off, but I was optimistic. You can only go up from the bottom, so I thought it was an excellent time to start a business.

The company started online, keeping no inventory and making everything to order. This allowed us to identify our target customer — young professional males looking to dress up for work or weddings.

We've been profitable since year two, winning awards and garnering press until the pandemic threw everything off track. Running a high-touch custom clothing company that needed in-person contact and relationships was stressful. We pivoted toward making masks and sold out immediately.

Around this time, my brother called me one day out of the blue

My brother told me his former boss was advising LookSky — an Asian direct-to-consumer fashion brand looking to enter the US market — and they wanted to speak to a fashion industry expert. I had no set expectations for these calls — I enjoy helping people and sharing industry and fashion insights.

What started as one call turned into three or four calls. I met with the chairman, CEO, and the rest of the C-suite team. The company's chairman asked if I was interested in joining them.

I had to think about it. 9Tailors was never busier after the pandemic; there was so much pent-up demand for suits, shirts, and dressing up, and our revenue kept growing.

Two things made the decision easy for me

LookSky allowed me six months to transition out of my business and design my dream job description from scratch. Although I suggested the position of creative director, they offered to hire me as the chief brand officer. I was pleasantly surprised they wanted me at the C-suite level.

I loved running my own business but wanted to make more impact, so the opportunity arose at the optimal time. At LookSky, I would have the opportunity to scale a personalized experience to potentially millions of users.

Also, I had my first child in 2017 and wanted to spend more time with him instead of working crazy retail hours. I had started feeling worn down.

I accepted their offer and nearly doubled my salary at 9Tailors.

Balancing both jobs for a while was tough

During the six-month transition, I worked about eight hours daily, six days a week on 9Tailors. Then, after my son went to bed, I dedicated time to LookSky, often for team meetings or marketing and branding projects. I thrive on being busy, so it was manageable.

LookSky asked me to sell my business, but I couldn't talk about it until we signed the papers and closed because it could destabilize my clients and team if it didn't go through.

The final sale was to my CMO. Even though several businesses expressed interest in buying, I preferred to sell to someone who knew the company, our clients, and how we operate.

My last day at 9Tailors was the same day I announced my departure and the sale of the business to the team. To help transition, my husband, who worked at the company for a good chunk of the 14 years that I did, stayed on for another six months.

I work remotely for LookSky, as most of my team is in Asia

Working remotely was initially a shock because I'm an extrovert who loves being around people, but one of the biggest advantages is having more control over my schedule.

Mornings and evenings are typically dedicated to team calls. Afternoons provide a window for productive personal time — I might work out, dive into a business book (I'm reading "Good to Great" by James C. Collins), or listen to a startup or tech podcast like Lenny's Podcast, Hard Fork, or How I Built This. Best of all, I can attend my son's events and activities.

Last summer, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was a shock

After hearing of my diagnosis, my team could not have been more supportive, telling me to take as much time as needed. I like being busy and productive, and work actually allowed me some reprieve.

I've found a company that nurtures my strengths and encourages and supports me in learning new skills. I'm surrounded by bright people who motivate me to do my best work. I've grown and developed tremendously.

I don't miss running 9Tailors, though I'm incredibly grateful for the experience. While I might consider running another startup in the distant future, I'm genuinely happy with where I've landed.

Have you been poached and want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at [email protected].

• Dan Weiss, 79, earns up to $47 per hour on Taskrabbit assembling furniture in Minnesota.
• Weiss, a retired mortgage manager, joined Taskrabbit in 2021 for both the income and structure.
• He completes tasks almost daily, earning $3,000 to $5,000 monthly and supplementing his retirement.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Dan Weiss, a 79-year-old Tasker on Taskrabbit in Oakdale, Minnesota. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I joined Taskrabbit in 2021 and have completed nearly 1,200 tasks at around $47 per hour for my services in Ikea furniture and general furniture assembly in and around Minneapolis.

I have a bachelor's degree in business administration and management and two master's degrees. Before I retired in November 2014, I managed several residential mortgage branches for a major bank.

Retirement was fine initially, but I quickly realized I needed to add structure to my life. Now, I fill my days building furniture, meeting new people, and supplementing my retirement income.

Going from 100 MPH to zero was a very abrupt change for me

One can only do so much gardening and reading without feeling unfulfilled.

I stayed "retired" for about six months and then had to find something that gave me more enjoyment and provided additional income to avoid chipping away at all of my retirement savings, which I began saving for in my mid-40s.

Before Taskrabbit, my other part-time jobs included stints at Costco, customer service work, and driving for Uber and Lyft.

I read an article in my local newspaper about a young woman who had discovered Taskrabbit. It intrigued me, so I immediately went online to create a Tasker account and have them run a background check on me. That was completed in a matter of days, and I was ready to go.

I've now been Tasking for 3 years

I've always enjoyed assembling things, but there was a learning curve. Although I had previously worked with Ikea furniture, there was much to figure out about some of the "tricks" associated with Ikea products.

I made over $47,000 in 2023, my highest year in earnings yet. I average $3,000 to $5,000 in earnings monthly. I could live on my retirement savings if I had to, but Taskrabbit income helps.

I do tasks almost daily

I complete between one and three tasks daily, averaging about four to five days a week. Most of my tasks are no more than a half-hour away, but I spend a fair amount of time driving. I can expense the mileage and gas.

My time spent with clients is highly enjoyable. I meet people from all walks of life and find their stories interesting. I enjoy this aspect of tasking the most.

I've realized how fulfilling and also challenging retirement can be

The lack of structure and income flow in retirement is challenging. We're told to save, save, save for retirement, and that's what I did. When I made the change from saving to spending, I was mind-blown. It didn't feel comfortable or natural.

Taskrabbit has allowed me to continue to generate income while also providing structure and allowing me to maintain contact with a variety of people.

I've discovered the importance of superb reviews in growing my business

When I was young, there were no such things as digital reviews. Today, they're critical because everyone checks them before booking a service or going to a restaurant. I secure generally excellent reviews by doing the following steps:

• Always communicate openly with your client. Confirm the date and time and set expectations in advance.
• Arrive on time or slightly early. If you will be late, even by a few minutes, it's important to let them know.
• Upon arriving, be friendly and cordial. A handshake usually gets things off to a good start to establish a line of trust.
• Be efficient and ensure the task is completed properly and precisely. Having the correct tools is also mandatory for this aspect of the task.
• If there are problems such as missing or defective parts, let the client know as soon as possible and provide suggestions on how to remedy the problem so as not to add stress to their plate.
• Thank them for the work opportunity and share how they can save you as a favorite for future tasks, leave a review and, if they choose, tip you, which happens about 25-40% of the time. I'm very focused during the actual task, but if the client engages me in conversation or has questions, I stop and focus on them.

I expect to continue to task as long as the compensation is commensurate with the job

I will continue to do this as long as my body holds up.

Tasking has given me both fulfillment and help funding trips and vacations. My wife and I love Maui and intend to return soon.

I'm still in the planning phase of deciding on our next vacation destination. There are many other places that we wish to visit while we're still healthy and relatively mobile.

Are you a retiree with a side hustle who wants to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at [email protected].

• Susie Moore, a life coach, moved to NYC and landed a tech job by leveraging mutual connections.
• Networking to set yourself up for a future opportunity is especially effective during the holidays.
• She suggests setting intentions, creating ping lists, and attending events to expand your network.

When I was 25, I moved to New York City from Sydney without friends, career prospects, or a college degree. Despite being what some might call unprepared, I knew I would land a job because I excel at connecting with people and taking initiative.

Within two months, I started working for a tech company because I leveraged a mutual connection, an industry peer in Australia whose company had an NYC office. I asked for an introduction to her US team, and she gave me one. A single warm email connection was all it took to get me in the door.

Networking is simply building relationships by being proactive, and it doesn't have to be a cringe-worthy chore. It can be fun, graceful, and extremely rewarding, and the holiday season is the perfect time to do it. There's an undeniable "holiday glow" to people in December.

Now, as a life coach of over 10 years, I encourage my community to expand and nurture their networks no matter their career choices or future goals. If you want to step up your networking game as 2025 fast approaches, here's a checklist to seize the season before the year ends.

1. Set an intention

What do you want your networking efforts to accomplish? Are you seeking a new position in the new year? Do you want to attract new clients to your business? Do you want to kick off a side hustle? Or do you simply want to strengthen your network for the future?

A measurable goal is ideal, but networking is valuable even without a specific goal. A mentor of mine once told me she has a spreadsheet of 50 people she emails casually every quarter for no reason but to say hello and keep the relationship alive. So few people do this!

We let so many relationships go to waste because we make too little effort, so those who keep in touch win because we stand out and are top of mind when opportunities roll around — and they do. My connections have brought me investment opportunities, speaking engagements, and book deals.

2. Get into the holiday spirit

The season of goodwill is a great time to reach out and express gratitude. Most people are reflective and slow down a bit this time of year, so it's the ideal time to send a short gratitude note, text, or DM like this:

"Thanks for your help with X project this year — it meant a lot. Wishing you the best holiday break and start to 2025!"

"I'm lucky to have worked with you this year, and I hope the new job at X is going great! Hi to (spouse name)."

"I just found the coolest candle shop/whisky tasting/tennis memorabilia site (insert picture/link of the thing the person likes). Happy holidays to you!"

Sincere, short, sweet, personal messages go a long way in letting people know how they've encouraged, inspired, or helped you — or even that you're just thinking of them.

3. Create a custom ping list

Success can come down to volume and some experimentation. It's easier to start with people you know, but you can also include some people you'd like to know — for example, I might include 5-10 people I admire with mutual connections.

When I moved to NYC, I looked up connections of my friends on LinkedIn and used that as a way to introduce myself:

"Hi name! You and I are both friends with the lovely (friend's name).

I've just moved to NYC and this city is just beautiful in December. Perhaps we could have a latte if you have 20 minutes free next week? It would be great to share some industry information and connect. I'll gladly come to (part of the city where that person lives/works).

Happy holidays!"

Aim to reach at least 30 people before year-end based on your intention. These can be former coworkers, members of your running or book club, friends of friends, or anyone you'd like to know better.

Not everyone will respond to you, but the right people will. A few Decembers ago, I met up with a fellow entrepreneur who had recently moved to Florida. We've enjoyed more than one business collaboration since, and she's also become a client of mine.

4. Get out there

December is a social season. I've made many connections at apartment lobby parties, holiday celebrations, and New Year's Eve gatherings.

If you're more introverted, be selective about what you attend — just keep returning to your intention (a tech mixer might be worthwhile, for example, but drinks at your next-door neighbor's place may not). Generally, it's worth showing up if you feel on the fence about an invitation. A little face-time goes a long way in nurturing connections.

People are also less busy around the holidays than you think, particularly during the last two weeks of December when schedules slow down. This can be a great time to suggest meeting for coffee, a cocktail, or even a walk. This can also mean a lot to folks in an age of increasing isolation.

5. Underthink it — do it now

The reach-out part is fast. Attacking your ping list doesn't require blocking out hours on your calendar. You can act on it in small pockets throughout the day — waiting for an Uber, in line at CVS, when you have five minutes to spare before a meeting. Ditch the social media scroll and do something valuable with these idle minutes.

Doors open for those willing to knock. It's no secret that those who create and maintain sincere relationships experience more opportunities over time. Your network provides a safety net and a steady foundation for information-sharing, mutual support, and fun, so stay connected.

Susie Moore is a former sales director and startup advisor, a life coach and advice columnist, and the host of the Let It Be Easy podcast.

• Rebecca Vijay, an online entrepreneur, faces isolation and challenges due to time zone differences.
• She works in publishing through the night and sleeps during the day while her family is away.
• Global connections through coaching groups have helped her overcome isolation and find support.

I'm an online business owner who provides book writing and publishing services. My focus is on women's empowerment through faith, entrepreneurship, and financial literacy.

As a child growing up in New Delhi, every day was an adventure with friends and weekends were busy with church, youth events, and programs. Coming from a carefree youth setting to stepping into the workforce and adjusting to a 9-5 schedule took some time.

Now, as I run my business from home alone, I feel even more isolated.

I worked a few corporate jobs before starting my business

After working in different organizations at the start of my career, I settled at Oxford University Press for almost eight years, heading a commissioning team that published management books.

I got married in 2008, found we were expecting twins, and lost my firstborn twin son on the third day of his life. I raised my preemie daughter with my husband's support.

Infant loss can be a taboo subject, and most people around me chose to ignore it. Stifling my thoughts and emotions forced me into my shell.

I had another son, and when he was a few months old and my daughter was in kindergarten, I decided that money can always be made but spending time with my kids during their formative years was more important. I left corporate life in 2014. Not many people in my life understood this decision.

I became an author and struggled to feel understood by my community even further

I started blogging, and in 2017, I wrote my first book, "My Angel in Heaven," about my son's death and finding comfort in God, which helped many bereaved parents and became a bestseller on Amazon.

Though people around me congratulated me, I didn't feel like they understood what it took out of me to bring the book to life. I went on to have two more books published that year, and the response was the same, as they hit bestseller lists, too. It made me feel even more disconnected from the people around me.

I then faced new challenges when I became an online entrepreneur

I started my company, Fount of Grace Creatives, in 2018, providing publishing services to local authors and expanded it into an international publishing house in 2021.

I created a concept for an anthology featuring inspiring stories of global women changemakers, trailblazers, and visionaries. Arranging coaching or networking calls is difficult; when for some, it's midnight, for others, it's early morning.

As I work mostly with US clients now, I tend to work during the evenings, leading to late nights. Sometimes, I'm even up until 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. or maybe not sleeping at all, as I need to be up by 6 a.m. to get my kids up for school.

Once my kids and my husband are out for their day, I try to get a few hours of sleep. It's extremely difficult as our maid will come, trash will need to be picked up, some courier will come, etc.

I generally put my phone on silent as otherwise it will keep ringing and disturb my irregular sleep. On top of that, I get migraines, which get triggered by lack of or interrupted sleep.

It's difficult for friends, family, and acquaintances to understand my schedule

My husband works in logistics and others around me are mostly in IT, teaching, HR, finance, banking, or ministry.

For them, I'm at home and need to be available whenever they call or message. Some feel that the online world where I work is not a "real" job and don't seek to understand it. They also don't understand why I've invested in mentors, online programs, and courses.

I work on business development, sales and marketing, social media, and fulfillment. This is very different from more traditional jobs, and I'm all the more isolated as I can't share about my work or what it entails.

The pandemic came and made everything worse

We were imprisoned within our own four walls. I lost my mom and some close friends.

Before I could even make sense of that, cancer stole two of my favorite and most inspiring authors whose stories I published.

All this left me spinning out of control and alone.

I started to make friends online

I've connected with others through global coaching groups to learn strategy and skills for my business. These women have helped me break boundaries in my mind and figure out how to cater to international audiences and charge in USD, as they've had to break their own barriers and obstacles to gain success.

These women have become friends and helped me feel less alone. We have similar struggles, share our success stories or tips, and speak the same jargon.

Investing in myself, following through on my vision even when others didn't understand or see it, and focusing on my mission have helped me develop these deeper virtual personal relationships.

The struggles are worth it

Life as an online entrepreneur from a different time zone than most of my clients has been difficult and lonely, but when I look back at the lives I've touched through publishing their inspiring stories, the sacrifices have been worth it.

I plan to go on to train corporations and educational institutes in personal development and women's leadership and continue to encourage my kids and women across the world to dream big, not be limited to a 9-5 job, and consider working online as a way to gain time and financial freedom.

Do you have an isolating job and want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at [email protected]

Adam Scott always knew he wanted to become an actor. He grew up in the '70s and '80s, the era of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, hooked by movies like "Star Wars," "Indiana Jones," and "E.T." As a kid, he gravitated toward watching or reading about movies and TV shows. "As I've become an adult and gotten older, I've developed other interests," he told me in an interview.

A few decades later, Scott, 51, is doing the work his childhood self dreamed of. As a sitcom fanatic myself, I know him best as the state auditor Ben Wyatt in "Parks and Recreation" and the demon Trevor in "The Good Place," but others may know him from his roles in Will Ferrell's comedy "Step Brothers," the cult phenomenon "Party Down," and the dark comedy series "Big Little Lies."

Most recently, Scott starred as Mark Scout in the critically acclaimed Apple TV+ drama "Severance," a role for which Scott received an Emmy nomination for outstanding lead actor in a drama series in 2022. The season-two return of "Severance" has been eagerly anticipated by fans and is set to begin January 17.

When he's not shooting scenes, Scott still has a full plate. He's hosted multiple band-themed podcast series with his fellow actor Scott Aukerman; campaigned for Kamala Harris in her 2024 presidential bid, which he shared on Instagram with his 1 million followers; hosted Ryan Reynolds' physical game show, "Don't"; started a production company called Gettin' Rad Productions with his wife, Naomi; and this year became the face of Philips Norelco.

I chatted with Scott about feeling as if he's never had an "I made it" moment, working with his wife on their production company, advice for his younger self, and his hopes for his kids' future.

Business Insider: You've previously mentioned that you spent the first 15 years of your career "hanging on by a piece of floss." Was there an "I made it" moment in your career when you finally realized you were floss-free?

Adam Scott: I don't have an "I made it" moment. I don't know if anyone ever does in show business. There's the constant fear in the back of your mind at the end of every job that you're never going to work again, and I think that's something that stays with you no matter what level you're at.

Getting "Parks and Rec" gave me some stability that I had never really experienced in my 15 years in the industry prior, but that stability still felt temporary, and I was ready for it to be snatched away at any moment.

I've had too many experiences over the years where things don't work out, and I think any actor has that feeling. Entertainment is so high stakes, but it's also low odds. It's a tough business; if you can make a living in entertainment, then you're lucky, but you're always kind of worried about what's around the next corner.

You're a real Renaissance man — hosting your podcast, doing brand partnerships, being politically involved, hosting a game show, and running your production company with your wife, Naomi. Does your decision to expand beyond acting stem from this search for stability or something else?

That's interesting — maybe that's part of it. I'd never really thought of it like that before, but you may be onto something.

I find producing satisfying because it relates directly to my and Naomi's interests. We love watching movies and shows — we have some differing tastes and also share certain tastes. Producing feeds directly into that because you get to shepherd projects along from something that may just be an idea and watch it grow and then be something that's actually out there in the world for people to hopefully enjoy. That's really satisfying.

Also, I find making the thing, and doing everything you can to try to make it better, satisfying and incredibly challenging.

It strikes me how different your "Severance" character Mark's life is from your own. Mark's personal and work lives are so separate, whereas yours are quite intertwined. Do you and Naomi have any rules you follow around mixing personal and work lives, or advice for other couples who work together?

My advice is to try it out before you dive in headfirst. Our first project together was a series of specials for Adult Swim. I directed them with a friend of mine, Lance Bangs, and Naomi and I produced it together. We ended up working really well together.

But you never know. You can have a perfectly healthy, strong marriage and not work together particularly well. We were ready for that, but it just turned out that we do work together really well and enjoy working together and getting to spend that time together.

That would be my advice: Try it out first — give it a maiden voyage and be ready to jump ship for the sake of your relationship.

Can you share the best and worst business decisions you've made in your time in Hollywood?

My partnership with Philips Norelco is something I'm proud of. They're lovely people, and believing in the product is also incredibly important. I was already an enthusiastic customer when this opportunity came together, so it felt like a natural fit.

As far as bad business decisions go, I'm always trying to avoid those. Sometimes you just have to take a flier and invest in something that you believe in, and it doesn't always work out. What people might think of as bad business decisions are sometimes just the cost of doing business.

If you could go back in time to the Adam who was hanging mid-floss, what advice would you give to your younger self?

I would advise young Adam to go out and live life a bit and not worry quite so much about his career, what's coming next, or what happened. I would advise him to get out into the world and experience it.

Looking forward 10 or 20 years from now, is there anything you definitely want to add to your list of accomplishments?

I'm watching my kids get older — they're teenagers now and my son's getting ready to go to college. When I look to the future, I think about them more than anything — what they're going to do and the world they're going to live in.

That's a large reason I get active politically whenever and wherever I do — thinking about what they will be living in. As far as the future goes, I'd like to maintain a living in entertainment, but mostly I'm concerned with my kids and their future.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

• Ethan Evans, a former Amazon VP, led a failed project in 2011 that interrupted Jeff Bezos' launch plans.
• The failure involved a critical design flaw in the Amazon Appstore's "Test Drive" feature.
• It taught Evans to communicate in a crisis, take ownership of a problem, and rebuild trust slowly.

I worked at Amazon for 15 years, starting in 2005 as a senior manager. When I left in 2020, I was a vice president.

My biggest launch failure was in 2011 on a project Jeff Bezos personally cared about. The failure interrupted Bezos' plan to present the feature publicly, causing me to miss my promotion and almost leave the company. However, I went on to be promoted from director to VP and have a long and happy career.

I learned a lot about dealing with a crisis and rebuilding trust as well as a lot about Bezos as a leader. He taught me the importance of maintaining high standards while being willing to forgive and move on.

Here's the story of my biggest failure

When I started at Amazon, I was assigned to Prime Video and had periodic direct exposure to Bezos.

When I was promoted to director, I continued working with Bezos on creating Amazon Studios. Throughout my first six years at the company, I met with him at least once a quarter about one of my projects.

In 2010, I started working on the Amazon Appstore. We planned a new feature called "Test Drive," which allowed you to simulate an app on your phone before buying it.

Bezos was excited about this feature and planned to make it the focus of his launch announcement. At the time, when Amazon launched something new, the company would replace the normal homepage with a personal letter from him explaining the new offering.

Our launch's "Jeff Letter" focused on the "Test Drive" feature. The night before the launch, our team launched the new store.

Everything except the "Test Drive" feature was working well

We worked through the night to debug the intermittent failures, but as morning came and the announcement was supposed to go out, the feature wasn't working. At 6 a.m., I got an email from Bezos asking why his letter was not on the homepage.

I replied that we were working on some problems, hoping he would get in the shower, go on the treadmill, or do anything else to buy us more time. Within a few minutes, he responded and asked, what problems?

All hell broke loose.

The VP and SVP above me both woke up and started asking questions, and more and more leaders were CC'ed into the email thread. We quickly realized that our feature had some critical design flaws and wouldn't be a quick or easy fix.

The first three lessons I learned were during the crisis, and the next three were learned after.

Mid-crisis

Lesson one: Communicate clearly and predictably

I began sending hourly updates to Bezos and the other leaders, working to slowly re-establish trust. Each message briefly explained where we stood and what we would be doing in the next hour, and they each promised a further update in the next hour.

Lesson two: Accept help

Other leaders who had experienced similar problems reached out and offered help from their teams, so within a couple of hours, several very senior engineers were working with my team.

They quickly figured out the problems and announced that we had a design flaw that needed to be re-written. The temporary solution was to work around it with extra hardware. Without this workaround, it could've been days before the feature was up and running.

Lesson three: No all-night launches

Planning an early morning launch that required us to work all night became an obvious flaw. I needed to be sharp to manage the crisis, and my team needed to be able to help with the fixes. We started rotating people home to sleep in shifts, and we learned never to accept a launch schedule that would put us in this position again.

As my team and I became increasingly exhausted, Bezos became increasingly frustrated. He wanted a fix that day. This led to the other leaders ramping up the pressure, and the weight on us kept getting heavier.

We were finally saved when the CTO, Werner Vogels, intervened and said the team could not fix this problem in one day. Bezos fell silent on the email threads.

Over the next few days, we patched the design problem and rewrote the code to eliminate the issue, but as the technical obstacles were removed, the management problems only increased.

The "Jeff Letter" never went live on the website. By the time we had everything fixed and tested, the news cycle had moved on, and Bezos' moment to tell his customers about the exciting new feature was gone.

After the crisis

Lesson four: Own the problem

My direct report volunteered to take the fall. The engineer who wrote some of the code did the same. My manager also sought to take overall responsibility. Ultimately, Bezos knew it was my team and code, meaning I had to own the problem.

Amazon has a process called COE (Correction of Errors), which involves a written investigation of a problem's root causes and a plan to prevent similar problems in the future. I wrote this report and was asked to share it with all my peers in the organization. Publicly sharing an analysis of our mistakes was embarrassing, but doing a good job of it helped me re-establish trust in my leadership ability.

The week after the launch, I was scheduled to attend a meeting with Bezos about another project. I considered skipping it, but I decided that if I couldn't face Bezos, I should probably pack my desk and find a new place to work.

I went to the meeting.

Bezos always sat in the same chair in his conference room. I went early and chose a chair right next to where he would sit. He came in, sat next to me, and ran the meeting. As the meeting ended, he asked me how I was doing because it must've been a tough week.

Bezos showed empathy for my experience and concern for my well-being. He could've just as easily asked for a status report or taken me to task for the problems; instead, he chose to focus on me as a person rather than on any frustration or curiosity about the project.

Lesson five: Face your leaders

Don't hide. I understand the temptation to avoid those who might criticize you, but facing Bezos reassured me that he was over his initial frustration and was willing to give me the time to rebuild trust.

In short, going to the meeting allowed me to stay at the company. I knew my job was on the line, and a single word from Bezos would've sent me packing.

Lesson six: Patiently rebuild trust

I'd been close to a promotion to VP, but now I had to re-establish that I could operate a key business carefully and consistently. I was eventually promoted, but it took two more years.

I learned that trust can be rebuilt but that it takes time.

Bezos taught me how important it is to hold your teams to high standards but also be willing to forgive and move on. He chose to be kind, empathize, and offer encouragement to me, which inspired me to spend the rest of my corporate career with Amazon.

I left in 2020, less than a year before Bezos stepped down, to focus on teaching leadership lessons to the next generation.

An Amazon representative didn't comment on this story when contacted by Business Insider.

Ethan Evans is a retired Amazon vice president with over 23 years of experience as a business executive.

• Jamie Lynch, an operations manager, has noticed key differences in her employees of different ages.
• Gen Z values work-life balance, unlike older generations who prioritize job commitment.
• COVID-19 influenced Gen Z's approach to work, emphasizing health over climbing the ladder.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jamie Lynch, a 34-year-old operations manager and content creator in Ontario, Canada. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I've been an operations manager for eight years at various companies, including my latest role at a real-estate media company.

I now also run Simply Jamie, where I create content focused on conversations with my Gen Z employees on social media.

As a manager who has worked with people of all ages, I've noticed differences between employees of different generations.

They aren't necessarily bad, but they're eye-opening differences in how we work. Here are four of the biggest ones I've noticed.

1. To call out or not to call out

For the most part, boomers won't call off work. Instead, they might come to work and say, "My car broke down. I had to borrow my neighbor's car to arrive on time," — but they still made it in.

Millennials can be that way, too. When I worked at a restaurant in high school, my manager still expected me to come to work if I was sick — there wasn't an option or a second thought about not working.

Gen Z, on the other hand, might say, "Well, my car is broken," or "I'm sick, so I can't come in." They don't feel an overwhelming guilt about calling in sick when needed.

I think some of this feeling stems from the COVID-19 pandemic. For three years, we told everyone not to leave their houses if they felt sick, and the younger generation has carried that message into the workplace.

I know some employees in the older generation dislike the younger generation for it, but I respect them, and I wish I had a bit more of their work-life balance.

2. To make small talk or to just not

Boomers and millennials are more known for 'water cooler' talk — or small talk conversations in the office. Before technology took over, that's what everyone did. You'd talk about the weather; we weren't all holding phones to entertain us.

Now, Gen Z doesn't feel the need to have those awkward conversations at work. They've grown up with a new form of distraction that previous generations did not have.

COVID-19 also occurred at a critical juncture in the lives of many members of the younger generation, causing them to miss experiences like proms and face the challenge of attending college from home because they had nothing else. Due to this, they keep to themselves.

I don't blame Gen Z, but older generations judge younger ones for being less social.

3. What they know and what they don't

Gen Z is tech-savvy. I consider myself low-tech and often ask my younger employees for help with my phone. They can also grasp new things quickly.

I've noticed that Gen Z sometimes doesn't know how to do other important things, like writing a check, driving without a GPS, or mailing a letter — that's a big one. To be fair, why would they? It's rare for people to send letters anymore.

Boomers can do these things as they grew up doing them, but technology is often new and harder for them since they spent most of their lives without it. Learning how to sign in and out of apps, for instance, can be a bit more difficult.

4. What they care about

The older generations seem to be more worried about job security. They believe in working hard because that's what you're supposed to do: you go to work and you work.

They're also more willing to deal with difficult bosses. I remember my mom would say, "You just can't let people get to you. All your bosses are going to suck," and that was the widely held belief.

Gen Z, however, has a different mindset. They're not as focused on getting promoted or constantly moving up. They need money and want a job, but they're not necessarily aiming to climb the ladder.

Gen Z also sets stronger boundaries around things like criticism. I don't think it's bad — if your job isn't your whole life and personality, why should you worry about losing it?

Gen Z does seem to care about social issues, like saving the planet. For example, reusable cups are important to them.

Every generation brings something different to the workplace, a whole new set of strengths and weaknesses. Understanding and using them as advantages is the key to harmoniously working together.

• Adam Knorr left a lucrative finance career to pursue writing in Hawaii in 2022.
• Despite a growing salary and the opportunity for a big promotion, Knorr felt unfulfilled in finance.
• Knorr now freelances as a copywriter and ghostwriter and has no regrets about leaving finance.

I walked away from life-changing money in finance to chase my dream of becoming a writer. I had no experience, clients, or idea where to start.

I moved from Nashville to Hawaii to figure it out.

I graduated with a journalism degree, but my brother worked in finance in Nashville. He told me he could get me an interview at his company. I interviewed, got the job, ditched my dreams, and chased a paycheck for six years.

I never liked working in finance, but the money made it hard to leave

I started working in 2016 and made about $50,000 as a 22-year-old. I felt rich, and the number kept climbing.

By 2021, I was making nearly $150,000 a year. Halfway through my last year, I was on pace to make $205,000. I was also interviewing for new roles in the $250,000 range.

Every day I worked in finance, I knew it wasn't right for me. I wanted to quit and be a writer, but the money was too good.

Finally, in May 2022, when I was up for a promotion, the dam burst. I remember going home one night after a final interview, and I could feel it in my gut. I knew I didn't want to get the job; it would trap me, and I'd regret pursuing it.

I printed off my two-week notice that night and quit the next day. My boss and coworkers were in disbelief when they found out, but for the most part, I had tremendous support from the people in my life.

After quitting my job, I moved to Hawaii in June 2022

I heard about a work-stay program at a coffee farm on the Big Island of Hawaii through my brother and sister-in-law, who had visited Hawaii. You can live on the farm in exchange for 28 hours of work a week. That sounded like a pretty good deal since my income dropped from six figures to $0 overnight.

I put my stuff in storage, packed a carry-on and a backpack, and flew to Hawaii, trading in my Nashville high-rise apartment and rooftop pool parties for a one-floor communal living house with six college kids.

I worked as a tour guide on the farm a few days a week. The rest of the time, I tried to figure out how to make a living as a writer.

I had never been to Hawaii before I moved

Visiting and living in a place are different experiences. Hawaii is a rock in the middle of the ocean — sometimes, it feels like it, but for any of the cons, there are more pros.

It was nice to get a break from city life and a good reminder that the world outside your immediate circle is full of people who live life at a different pace.

I had to get creative to land my first client

I wanted to become a freelance copywriter, but the industry is saturated. Many people are attracted to the opportunity to work for themselves, travel the world, and make money by pressing a few keys on a keyboard.

I spent day after day locked in my bedroom in Hawaii — just me and the geckos — sending cold emails and LinkedIn messages. I got a few nibbles but no bites.

I decided I wanted a car to explore the island. I contacted a local car rental service and noticed the owner's website needed serious copywriting work, so we struck a deal. I'd write his entire website for $500 and an extra month of my rented Dodge Challenger. I had my first client.

I started freelancing with an agency thanks to a cold email I sent. Then, I started posting on LinkedIn and picked a couple of clients up that way. Today, I'm a full-time freelance copywriter and ghostwriter.

I started writing a book in Hawaii before moving to Michigan

While in the work-stay program, I wrote some email copy for the farm. The emails did well, and one day, I sat down with the farm's CEO.

He envisioned writing a book about the history of a local church and using it to raise money to restore some of the murals that had deteriorated over the last 125 years. He asked me if I'd be up for writing the book. I agreed and started splitting my time between leading farm tours and researching for the book.

All roads lead home. I moved to Michigan in March 2023 to be closer to my family.

Quitting finance was worth it, but it's more nuanced than that

In my first full year of freelancing, I made $85,500. Through November 2024, I've made $110,000. I'm grateful to be doing as well as I am, but I can't pretend like I don't think about the money I would've made by staying in finance.

Gratitude and perspective are more important than the number on your tax returns, but it's also ignorant to pretend like money doesn't matter. I wonder sometimes if I was dumb for leaving that money behind — it's impossible not to.

But was it worth it? Am I happier? Would I do it again? Yes, 10 times out of 10.

I had to know if there was something more out there for me

When deciding whether to quit my job to pursue this dream, I heard Tim Ferriss on a podcast recommending playing out the worst-case scenario of a decision in your head. How catastrophic is it? How permanent is the impact? How bad would it really be?

Worst-case scenario 1: If I stay in finance, I'll always regret not discovering what I could've made of myself.

Worst-case scenario 2: I try to write, fail, and get another finance job.

For me, the fear of regret was greater than failure.

Now, I never have to wonder, "What if?" or think about what I could've done with my life. I know the answer.

• C-suite executive Michaella Solar-March's husband became a stay-at-home dad in 2017.
• The couple found it financially smarter for him to stay home than to hire a nanny.
• Solar-March balances career and family and feels the pressure as the sole financial provider.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Michaella Solar-March, a 40-year-old C-suite executive in New York City. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

When my husband and I met in 2011, we were in love with our careers. I worked as a marketing director in the music industry, and he was a bartender and vegetable farmer. We both worked late but always made time to see each other.

We discussed getting married and having kids but never discussed the logistics of starting a family with our work schedules. We got married in 2012, and in 2015, I got pregnant with our first child.

Now, as a family of four, I work full time, and my husband stays home to watch the kids.

We both used to work full-time jobs with nontraditional hours

My husband worked in hospitality and often got called in on nights and weekends to cover shifts. I worked at Soho House in a global role and traveled internationally for two to three weeks every month.

We hired a full-time nanny so we could both continue to work. After nine months, we realized it felt like our nanny was raising our child. While we loved our nanny, we weren't comfortable taking such a backseat role in our son, Townes', life.

My husband loved his career but found that being a present father meant more to him. He didn't grow up with his father around — his parents divorced when he was three, and a single mom raised him. He wanted to be a present and constant support for Townes.

We decided in 2017 that my husband would be a stay-at-home dad, and I'd continue to work as the family's breadwinner.

It was less expensive for my husband to stay home with our child than to have a nanny

We realized my husband's salary was slightly more than what we paid our nanny. It seemed like a financially smart decision for him to leave his job. It also helped us both erase any anxiety about Townes and his care.

When we had our second child, Roma, in 2020, I was the global CMO for a commercial real estate business. Alex returned to work in 2019 as the general manager of a hospitality brand, and we thought we would hire another nanny for our daughter. Then the pandemic started.

We started interviewing nannies remotely and couldn't get comfortable with the idea, so again, Alex quit his job and resumed full-time childcare responsibilities.

The identity shift was hard to understand

When we first started dating, our identities were wrapped up in our careers. When my husband first became a stay-at-home dad and I became the breadwinner, I struggled with our new identities. I felt grateful that I could continue my career but guilty that he had to pause his.

I was also proud of his work and enjoyed the nightlife culture that came with his industry, so leaving that behind was a lifestyle shift for both of us.

My husband never felt bad about this shift. He poured everything into being the best dad, managing the household (cooking, cleaning, and handling the groceries), and constantly reassured me that he was more than OK with taking on this role.

I feel a lot of pressure to provide financially for my family

Neither my husband nor I are independently wealthy, so the long-term stability of our family and creating financial security for our kids are solely my responsibility.

I feel a lot of pressure. I'm naturally ambitious and self-motivated, and I take pride in being good at my work. Yet, I inevitably feel I have to overdeliver and drive value for my employers to ensure job security.

While I'm lucky enough to have an incredible boss and team, that pressure is always an undercurrent. If I'm not working, we can't pay our bills.

Being a C-suite executive and a mother requires compromise

I'm now the chief marketing officer for a Brooklyn-based real estate developer and management company. I'm fully committed at work and home but always feel I'm letting someone down.

I often miss dinner time with the family because of work commitments. Townes made a rule that I'm only allowed to be on my phone at home if I'm dealing with something for work. As my kids have become more aware and emotionally mature, they notice when I'm distracted.

I also feel societal pressure. There's an unspoken expectation that you must be an exceptional employee, mother, friend, community member, and over-performer in every area of life. Those titles are often in conflict with one another.

I have to compromise. I'm no less committed to an area of my life, but I acknowledge that sometimes I can't do it all and must make a choice.

I'm showing my kids a different type of family dynamic, and I'm proud of that

I had a stay-at-home mom who worked from home but was hands-on in the house. This allowed my dad to go out and work long hours every day. My family is now inverted.

I'm proud that my children see me go to work daily, knowing I come home every night after doing work I love and excel at. I hope this shows them they can pursue their professional passions with commitment and ambition.

Sometimes, Roma asks, "Why can't you stay home with Dad? Why do you go to the office every day?" But I know that in 10 years, I will have shown her what a working mother looks like. I also know that when I'm with her, I focus on giving her the attention and support she needs.

While our family setup might be unusual, it works for us, and I'm not sure it would work this well if we did it any other way. Eventually, my husband wants to go back to work, but not in a full-time capacity.

Want to share your story as a female breadwinner? Email Lauryn Haas at [email protected].

• Nolan Church is a former Google recruiter who says you could be holding yourself back from a promotion.
• Performance gaps, lack of roles, and budget constraints can also hinder career advancement.
• Advocating for oneself and seeking feedback are crucial for securing promotions.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Nolan Church, a 35-year-old former recruiter for Google and Doordash and now the cofounder and CEO of FairComp from Salt Lake City. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Before becoming the CEO of FairComp, a company that helps employees understand if they're paid fairly, I was a recruiter for Google for three years and led recruiting at Doordash for another three years.

I often saw colleagues and friends get overlooked for promotions. There are several reasons for this — here are four of them.

1. Performance gap

The first one is a gap in performance. There could be a misalignment in how an employee thinks they're doing and how management thinks they're doing, most likely due to a lack of feedback.

Many people are bad at giving feedback. An employee could have poor communication skills, a negative attitude, or be a pessimist, but they may not know it. Or, when they do receive feedback, they argue about it instead of trying to remediate and improve. These things surface when it comes time for a promotion, but they're hard to fix when you're unaware it's a problem.

When looking for a promotion, make sure to ask for feedback on your current performance and actually listen. Then, document the feedback, improve, and ask your manager, "Can you help me understand the gap between where I'm at and the next level?" That way, you may get promoted in the next round of promotions.

In your one-on-one meetings after the initial conversation, you could say, "This is what we talked about in the past, and this is what I've been doing to improve. What's your feedback on how my performance has been progressing?"

This is also helpful if you aren't getting promoted due to a skill gap, like if you're trying to get promoted into a management role and you've never managed people before. Ask your manager what you need to work on to move on to the next level.

2. No job 'big enough'

You might be killing it at your job, but if the business doesn't have an open role or a scope big enough to justify your promotion, you typically won't get promoted.

For example, when Google employees reach level five, or terminal level, many will never get promoted again. Typically, there's no job big enough for them to go into next.

Once you reach the top, you might not see any additional compensation increases either. Some companies may make exceptions and offer more, but that's not the rule.

If this happens, you have a few options. You can stay put and try to keep learning within your role, search for other roles inside the company where there are opportunities to grow and ascend, or you might choose to leave the company.

3. Budget constraints or business challenges

If a business isn't doing well, promotions are most likely not happening or are occurring at a significantly decreased rate. If a business is experiencing some sort of struggle, it has no incentive to promote people, and your likelihood of getting promoted is significantly less than at a business that's doing well.

Typically, promotions come with a salary increase, but not all companies can always provide that. When this is the case, the solution for an employee seeking a promotion is situational.

If the economy is up but your company is not doing well, it might be time to look for another opportunity elsewhere. If the economy is down, you may consider staying put in your current role, as leaving in a bad economy can be risky.

Otherwise, if you leave and, six weeks later, your new company decides to run a layoff, you're more likely to be impacted because you lack tenure — "last in, first out," can still be true today.

4. You aren't advocating for a promotion

You must advocate for yourself to get a promotion, but people are often terrible at doing that — especially when working remotely. Instead of thinking, "I'm just going to do great work, and people are going to notice," you need to think, "I'm going to do great work, and I need to tell people about the work I'm doing."

I remember having a big mental shift in my career when I realized I needed to take responsibility and own it. I thought, "I can't expect my manager, who has a ton on their plate and a lot going on, to always be the one checking in on me. Instead, I need to advocate for myself."

Start by scheduling regular touchpoints with your manager so they understand the value you're providing to the organization — something harder to see when you work remotely.

If you work from home, you need to overcompensate to combat this. When in person, people can see that you're working and can ask you questions without friction. To ensure your manager doesn't think you're slacking off, send snippets on Fridays that include everything you did that week and your priorities for next week. Also, send no-update updates, which update stakeholders on where things stand without them asking you.

That way, they're always aware of what you've done and what's coming next. If they want to provide feedback, you've given them an opportunity.