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I work across time zones at all hours of the night. My life is extremely lonely, but virtual friends have helped.

9 December 2024 at 02:05
Woman in time zones.

Getty Images; Jenny Chang-Rodriguez/BI

  • Rebecca Vijay, an online entrepreneur, faces isolation and challenges due to time zone differences.
  • She works in publishing through the night and sleeps during the day while her family is away.
  • Global connections through coaching groups have helped her overcome isolation and find support.

I'm an online business owner who provides book writing and publishing services. My focus is on women's empowerment through faith, entrepreneurship, and financial literacy.

As a child growing up in New Delhi, every day was an adventure with friends and weekends were busy with church, youth events, and programs. Coming from a carefree youth setting to stepping into the workforce and adjusting to a 9-5 schedule took some time.

Now, as I run my business from home alone, I feel even more isolated.

I worked a few corporate jobs before starting my business

After working in different organizations at the start of my career, I settled at Oxford University Press for almost eight years, heading a commissioning team that published management books.

I got married in 2008, found we were expecting twins, and lost my firstborn twin son on the third day of his life. I raised my preemie daughter with my husband's support.

Infant loss can be a taboo subject, and most people around me chose to ignore it. Stifling my thoughts and emotions forced me into my shell.

I had another son, and when he was a few months old and my daughter was in kindergarten, I decided that money can always be made but spending time with my kids during their formative years was more important. I left corporate life in 2014. Not many people in my life understood this decision.

I became an author and struggled to feel understood by my community even further

I started blogging, and in 2017, I wrote my first book, "My Angel in Heaven," about my son's death and finding comfort in God, which helped many bereaved parents and became a bestseller on Amazon.

Though people around me congratulated me, I didn't feel like they understood what it took out of me to bring the book to life. I went on to have two more books published that year, and the response was the same, as they hit bestseller lists, too. It made me feel even more disconnected from the people around me.

I then faced new challenges when I became an online entrepreneur

I started my company, Fount of Grace Creatives, in 2018, providing publishing services to local authors and expanded it into an international publishing house in 2021.

I created a concept for an anthology featuring inspiring stories of global women changemakers, trailblazers, and visionaries. Arranging coaching or networking calls is difficult; when for some, it's midnight, for others, it's early morning.

As I work mostly with US clients now, I tend to work during the evenings, leading to late nights. Sometimes, I'm even up until 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. or maybe not sleeping at all, as I need to be up by 6 a.m. to get my kids up for school.

Once my kids and my husband are out for their day, I try to get a few hours of sleep. It's extremely difficult as our maid will come, trash will need to be picked up, some courier will come, etc.

I generally put my phone on silent as otherwise it will keep ringing and disturb my irregular sleep. On top of that, I get migraines, which get triggered by lack of or interrupted sleep.

It's difficult for friends, family, and acquaintances to understand my schedule

My husband works in logistics and others around me are mostly in IT, teaching, HR, finance, banking, or ministry.

For them, I'm at home and need to be available whenever they call or message. Some feel that the online world where I work is not a "real" job and don't seek to understand it. They also don't understand why I've invested in mentors, online programs, and courses.

I work on business development, sales and marketing, social media, and fulfillment. This is very different from more traditional jobs, and I'm all the more isolated as I can't share about my work or what it entails.

The pandemic came and made everything worse

We were imprisoned within our own four walls. I lost my mom and some close friends.

Before I could even make sense of that, cancer stole two of my favorite and most inspiring authors whose stories I published.

All this left me spinning out of control and alone.

I started to make friends online

I've connected with others through global coaching groups to learn strategy and skills for my business. These women have helped me break boundaries in my mind and figure out how to cater to international audiences and charge in USD, as they've had to break their own barriers and obstacles to gain success.

These women have become friends and helped me feel less alone. We have similar struggles, share our success stories or tips, and speak the same jargon.

Investing in myself, following through on my vision even when others didn't understand or see it, and focusing on my mission have helped me develop these deeper virtual personal relationships.

The struggles are worth it

Life as an online entrepreneur from a different time zone than most of my clients has been difficult and lonely, but when I look back at the lives I've touched through publishing their inspiring stories, the sacrifices have been worth it.

I plan to go on to train corporations and educational institutes in personal development and women's leadership and continue to encourage my kids and women across the world to dream big, not be limited to a 9-5 job, and consider working online as a way to gain time and financial freedom.

Do you have an isolating job and want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at [email protected]

Read the original article on Business Insider

Seoul's $322 million gambit to save the city from crushing loneliness won't fix the source of its problems

1 December 2024 at 16:08
People sitting before the city skyline and Han River in Seoul.
The Seoul Metropolitan Government said in October that it would be pouring 451.3 billion won, or $322 million, to combat the loneliness epidemic gripping the city.

Ed Jones/AFP via Getty Images

  • Seoul city authorities want to tackle the loneliness epidemic with a $322 million plan.
  • Lonely individuals can call a 24/7 counseling hotline and win rewards for attending local events.
  • While the plan is a step in the right direction, experts say it will not address the problem's roots.

Seoul's loneliness epidemic is eating the city from within.

The city glitters, but there's a reason the locals call South Korea "Hell Joseon." Locals contend with crippling debt and pressure-cooker academic and work lives. Loneliness and isolation stem from and compound those problems. It's a scourge that manifests in different ways across the metropolis's sprawling cityscape, and a pressing issue the government is keen to address.

According to a 2021 study from the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs, about 3.1% of those aged 19 to 39, or around 340,000 people, are considered to be lonely and reclusive.

At the extreme end is "godoksa," or lonely death, where someone dies by suicide or illness after living in social isolation.

Lonely deaths in South Korea increased from 3,378 in 2021 to 3,661 in 2023, per the South Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare's data.

The South Korean government plans to spend over $322 million on measures that attempt to fix loneliness. However, experts told Business Insider this initiative fails to address the root causes of the problem β€” and might not have the effect the government is hoping to achieve.

A 'Seoul Without Loneliness'

Titled "Seoul Without Loneliness," the five-year initiative takes a multi-pronged approach to address the problem.

City authorities said in an October statement that people experiencing loneliness can tap a 24/7 counseling hotline. They can also eat together in community spaces and collect perks and activity points for participating in sporting activities and attending local events.

"We will mobilize our resources to create a happy city where no one is isolated, implement the Seoul Without Loneliness initiative, and thoroughly manage the issue from prevention to healing, reintegration into society, and the prevention of re-isolation," Seoul Mayor Oh Se-hoon said in the statement.

When contacted by Business Insider, a representative for the Seoul Metropolitan Government said that the plan will involve all departments in the city's government collaborating to "establish a systematic support framework tailored to specific fields and life stages."

"'Seoul Without Loneliness' is a bold challenge for the city and not an easy path to take," the representative said. "While numerous trials and errors are expected, and not all issues can be resolved at once, Seoul is confident that continuous efforts and various innovative attempts will eventually lead to achieving its goals."

"Seoul will continue to do its utmost to create a city where all citizens can live happily," the representative added.

Last year, the country's Ministry of Gender Equality and Family said it would pay socially isolated youth around $500 a month to encourage them to mingle with society.

Prevention is better than cure when it comes to tackling loneliness

Psychologists and sociologists that Business Insider spoke to said that while October's initiative is a step in the right direction, it's not a silver bullet.

"It may be helpful for those who feel they're isolated and who are willing to get out of their loneliness. But for those who do not want outside help, then these policies are probably irrelevant to them," Joonmo Son, a sociology professor at the National University of Singapore, told BI.

"The other issue we need to think of is that the policy itself does not prevent loneliness. Rather, it's to prevent the lonely deaths of those who are isolated," Son added.

Eva Chen, a psychology professor at Taiwan's National Tsing Hua University, told BI that South Korea should address the country's competitive culture, which starts young.

Last year, nearly 80% of children participated in private education programs like "hagwons" or cram schools,Β according to dataΒ from South Korea's National Statistics Office. Families also splashed out $19.4 billion on private education β€” which can span all manner of supplementary drilling on schoolwork, from after-school "hagwon" sessions to tutoring.

"It's an incredibly competitive society, and you can see these issues start to appear when children start their formal schooling. You will notice that suicide rates among Korean students are fairly high when compared to neighboring countries," Chen said.

In 2023, South Korea recorded a suicide rate of 27.3 out of 100,000 people, the highest rate among OECD countries like the US, UK, and Japan.

Navigating such a competitive environment, Chen said, can result in people becoming more withdrawn and isolated.

"It sort of breaks down that willingness to be helpful. In young children, the natural tendency is toward empathy and valuing moral goodness over more superficial factors like your salary and your education," she continued.

Kee Hong Choi, a psychology professor at Korea University, said that his country's education system needs to be "changed dramatically" to become less competitive.

"People become individualistic because they are emotionally hardened from social pressure and judgment," Choi said.

"Many people get traumatized by these kinds of social comparisons in an education system and start to develop depressive, or social anxiety symptoms," he added.

Stakes are high for solving the problem of loneliness

South Korea's ongoing struggle with the loneliness epidemic poses both social and economic implications.

Sohyun Kim, a psychology professor at Korea University, told BI that "the problem of loneliness is one of the most urgent social and economic problems" the country faces.

"Many of these individuals are also financially struggling, which is not surprising as all of these issues can affect various areas of our lives, including our productivity, and also those who are financially more limited have been found to be at higher risk of isolation," Kim said.

Korea University's Choi said social isolation among youths could exacerbate the country's existing socio-economic problems, such as its birth rate.

South Korea's fertility rate was 0.72 in 2023, the lowest in the world. It's even lower in Seoul, which recorded a fertility rate of 0.55 in the same year.

Based on its current trajectory, the country's population of 51 million is expected to halve by 2100. That's another problem Seoul's government is trying to solve with its "birth encouragement" program to raise fertility rates. Nearly a fifth of South Korea's population lives in Seoul.

"Lonely individuals are, of course, less likely to form families. That's a huge problem for Korea right now, to produce the next generation of children, and more practically, the next generation of the workforce," National Tsing Hua University's Chen said.

Read the original article on Business Insider

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