• At least 69 people are dead after catastrophic flooding hit central Texas.
• Local authorities said personal drones are interfering with search and rescue efforts.
• Consumer drones also disrupted emergency operations in other disasters, like the 2025 LA wildfires.

Search and rescue operations continue in central Texas, where catastrophic flooding has killed at least 69 people. Dozens are still missing.

During a Sunday press conference, after the usual updates, officials made what has become a familiar request during recent natural disasters: Don't fly your personal drones over the disaster area.

"We know that people want to volunteer, but what we are starting to see is personal drones flying," Kerrville City Manager Dalton Rice told reporters. "These personal drones flying is a danger to aircraft, which then risks further operations."

The Kerrville Police Department echoed Rice's remarks on Sunday.

"Media-operated drones are interfering with official search and rescue drones. There is a no-fly zone in Kerr County for private drones," the department said on its Facebook page. "We need cooperation in this matter. Let our first responders do their job."

During a press conference hosted by Texas Gov. Greg Abbott on Sunday, Maj. Gen. Thomas M. Suelzer of the Texas National Guard said the department had launched an MQ-9 Reaper — a remotely-piloted aircraft — to perform assessment operations.

"It's truly an eye in the sky for our search and rescue people," Suelzer said.

Although drones are now commonly used in military and law enforcement operations, they are also popular among civilians, mostly for photography and shooting video, but also for those looking to help search after disasters. During several recent disasters, however, officials say those civilian drone operators have hindered rescue operations.

The Dixie Fire

In 2021, the Dixie Fire spread across northern California. The flames ripped through communities, displacing residents and burning nearly a million acres of land.

That July, the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection said an unauthorized drone had impeded emergency operations.

"Yesterday, aircraft assigned to the #DixieFire were forced to land due to an unauthorized drone flying over the fire traffic area," the agency said on its official Facebook page. "Drones restrict firefighters' ability to protect lives, property, and natural resources. Remember, if you fly, we can't!"

Hurricane Helene

Hurricane Helene battered the southeast United States in late 2024.

After making landfall in Florida, it traveled up the coast through Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina. Heavy rainfall, strong winds, and flooding demolished homes and submerged vehicles.

Amid the search and rescue efforts, the US Department of Transportation shared an X post asking consumer drone operators to stay clear. At the time, the Federal Aviation Administration had issued a temporary flight restriction in certain areas.

"Do not fly your drone near or around rescue and recovery efforts for Hurricane Helene," the agency said. "Interfering with emergency response operations impacts search and rescue operations on the ground."

The FAADroneZone, the agency's site for drone services, said in a separate X post that "interfering with emergency response efforts may result in fines or criminal prosecution."

At the time, some online users thought volunteer drone operators were being banned from assisting in relief efforts, which sparked a backlash.

The DOT later clarified that the FAA didn't ban consumer drones from providing assistance and relief.

"These restrictions occur at the request of local authorities or law enforcement. FAA does not put these into place without requests," a spokesperson told Fox News.

The agency added that "anyone looking to use a drone or other aircraft to assist in Hurricane Helene disaster relief and recovery efforts should coordinate with first responders and law enforcement on scene to ensure they do not disrupt life-saving operations."

Los Angeles wildfires

In January, a series of wildfires erupted across the Los Angeles region, causing widespread damage and forcing hundreds of thousands to evacuate their homes.

In addition to emergency firefighting efforts on the ground, officials deployed two Super Scoopers, which are amphibious aircraft that collect water to drop it on wildfires.

However, an unauthorized civilian drone struck one Super Scooper, forcing it out of service.

"We would like to remind everyone that flying a drone in the midst of firefighting efforts is a federal crime and punishable by up to 12 months in prison or a fine of up to $75,000," a LA Fire Department spokesperson said at the time.

The incident prompted an investigation by the FAA, which said in a statement that "flying a drone near a wildfire is dangerous and can cost lives."

The Department of Justice said the drone operator agreed to plead guilty to one count of unsafe operation of an uncrewed aircraft. The plea agreement included the drone operator paying full restitution to the Government of Quebec, which supplied the aircraft, and completing 150 hours of community service.

• Molly Shannon says Lorne Michaels is "irreplaceable" as "SNL" showrunner.
• But there's one current cast member she seems to think could one day take the reins — Kenan Thompson.
• Thompson is the longest-tenured cast member in the NBC show's history.

Actor Molly Shannon has backed the idea of Kenan Thompson one day taking over from longtime "Saturday Night Live" showrunner Lorne Michaels, despite calling Michaels "irreplaceable."

Asked what she thought about Thompson potentially taking the reins at the NBC show in an interview with People, Shannon, who was a cast member between 1995 and 2001, said it was "an excellent idea."

"I love this idea. He's the greatest — I adore Kenan," she said, adding that he was "so talented."

Thompson joined "SNL" in 2003 and is the longest-tenured cast member in its history, notching his 22nd season this year.

Rumors of Michaels' retirement grew as "SNL" neared its 50th anniversary earlier this year, fueling speculation over who could take over as showrunner.

For Shannon, it seems the show will never be the same, no matter who comes in.

"There's no one who could replace him. It would not be the same show," Shannon told People of Michaels, who created the sketch comedy show in 1975. "He's just a one-of-a-kind genius. Brilliant. Smart."

"It's his show, his vision," she added.

In September 2024, Michaels, 80, addressed speculation over his future, telling The Hollywood Reporter he had no "immediate" plans to retire.

"I just know that this is kind of what I do and as long as I can keep doing it, I'll keep doing it," he said at the time.

Earlier this year, Thompson hinted that fans of "SNL" could see a major shakeup when the show returns following the wrap of its 50th season.

"Especially this year where it feels like there's maybe, possibly, a lot of change next year," he told Page Six. "You want everyone to stay forever, knowing that people may be making decisions this summer."

He added that he had yet to sign a new contract for the coming season but expressed interest in returning.

"You just never know what the future holds," he said. "I don't want to be in the way of someone else."

"I don't want to be the stale old man riding the same old thing. That doesn't really happen that much at 'SNL' but there's no guarantees," he added.

Representatives for "SNL" and Thompson did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider.

• After getting engaged, I joked to my husband that we should both change our last names together.
• He didn't find it funny and really wanted me to take his last name.
• A few years ago, he apologized for suggesting that I take his name over mine.

In the early days of our engagement, one of my favorite ways to tease my husband was to come up with new last names we could take when we got married.

I would joke that rather than taking his last name, we could both go through the identity change together. We could start fresh with something cool, something that was just ours.

But my future husband, whose extended family throws reunions that are essentially small festivals, didn't find it funny.

My husband wanted me to take his last name, while I was ambivalent

It wasn't that I was emotionally tied to my previous last name. Saying and spelling "Childs" for the rest of my life was just easier than "Nieslanik". Not to mention, it feels weird to think of yourself as one person with one name for so many years, only to change that. My name was a fundamental part of who I was. To change it in my mid-thirties felt strange.

Plus, there is the bureaucratic red tape that comes with changing your name. Birth certificate, driver's license, passport, and bills. Changing your name is like updating your entire identity one tedious form at a time. At the end of the day, though, I knew how much it would mean to my husband if I took his last name. And part of that was because I had already changed my name once.

It wasn't my first last name change

My last name when I met my husband wasn't the one I was born with. Ironically, in my late teens, I'd already gone through a name change after a short-lived first marriage. My maiden name had been a mouthful that people always messed up, so adopting a simpler one was a relief. Plus, no one in my immediate family shared my last name. My mom had given me her maiden name, but she remarried and took my stepfather's last name, as did my half-brother, whom they had together. I was the only one left with a hard name no one else seemed to want.

The fact that I had changed my name before, no matter the reason, didn't sit well with my soon-to-be husband. If I had changed it before, he argued, why wouldn't I be willing to change it again? This time, for him. It felt like a personal slight, which I understood.

Beyond that, my husband comes from a large, close-knit family who do all share the same last name. Every summer, they gather in the hundreds for a family reunion and have streets named after them in towns sprinkled across the Western Slope of Colorado. As an only child, he felt we needed to carry on the name for his family branch by having me take his name.

He had a strong internal belief that members of the same family should have the same name. Although his family is relatively liberal, they shared the cultural expectation that a woman takes her husband's name when they marry. And he had some pride wrapped up in the idea that I would carry his name—that when people met us, they would know that we belonged together.

I don't mind that I changed my name

Since I had no strong objections, I did end up changing my name, and I never really looked back. I used a service that helped me change all my accounts, IDs, and paperwork in one (mostly) easy go, so the hassle was more minimal than expected.

Now, more than a decade later, I see several upsides to having changed my last name. For example, it's uncommon, so I rarely get confused with anyone else. As a writer, I find that beneficial. I like having the same last name as our children, and I'm glad I didn't have to think about whose name we should give them or if we should hyphenate. And I've realized that my last name has a lot of personality. If that means I have to spell it an extra time or two, the trade-off is now worth it in my opinion.

These days, however, my husband has had a change of heart about the situation

A few years ago, my husband apologized to me for "making" me change my name. He mentioned how silly he thought his reasonings were now, that he understood having the same last name is kind of arbitrary. He pointed out that it affects literally no part of our lives together in a substantial way. My favorite realization that he mentioned was how our love is so much greater than a shared last name. Then, he asked if I'd like to change my name back.

The thought of returning to the ease of "Childs" as a last name has its appeal, but I couldn't help but laugh. I have zero desire to go through that paperwork again. Not unless he wants to revisit that original idea of picking a brand-new name together. And he's willing to file the forms himself this time.

• Silicon Valley executives are big fans of J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings."
• Many founders have turned to the series for inspiration when naming their companies and products.
• From Erebor to Rivendell, here are all the tech industry's nods to "The Lord of the Rings."

"The Lord of the Rings," or LotR to those in the know, isn't just standard reading among those in the tech industry.

It also inspires their ventures.

Billionaire PayPal cofounder Peter Thiel, for instance, has started several companies inspired by the J.R.R. Tolkien series.

The fantasy trilogy, a sequel to 1937's "The Hobbit," was first published in the mid-1950s. It follows an unlikely hero, Frodo Baggins, as he and a team of allies adventure across Middle Earth to destroy a powerful ring that could bring darkness to the world if it fell into the hands of Sauron, the dark lord.

On Halloween in 2018, the Salesforce Tower, a hallmark of the San Francisco skyline, was lit to resemble the ever-watchful "Eye of Sauron."

"'Lord of the Rings' represents a group of people going out and doing something extraordinary," Quinn Reilly, a longtime fan who helped organize the Salesforce tower lighting, previously told BI. "That's not unlike the mission that most startups set out to go on."

Here is an ongoing list of Silicon Valley's top "Lord of the Rings"-inspired companies.

Erebor

Billionaire tech founder Palmer Luckey's new digital bank for startups and cryptocurrency companies is named after the Lonely Mountain, the wealthy subterranean kingdom and Dwarven stronghold in "The Lord of the Rings."

The bank is set to be valued at $2 billion, sources told BI, and has funding from Thiel, via his Founders Fund, and Joe Lonsdale, via 8VC.

Anduril

Another Luckey venture, the defense-tech startup Anduril, founded in 2017, is named after the legendary sword used by Aragorn, a hero in "The Lord of the Rings" story. Anduril means "Flame of the West."

The company has been at the forefront of AI-powered innovations in warfare, from drones to autonomous weapons systems.

Palantir

Palantir — founded in 2003 by Peter Thiel, Joe Lonsdale, Stephen Cohen, and Alex Karp — is a government-focused software giant. It takes its name from the mystical, all-powerful seeing stone in "The Lord of the Rings" series.

Mithril Capital

Thiel launched Mithril Capital in 2012 to invest in late-stage startups. The firm, which counts Vice President JD Vance among its alumni, takes its name from a valuable and rare precious metal used to make armor and jewelry in "The Lord of the Rings." It's a symbol of wealth and status.

Durin Mining

The startup, founded by Ted Feldmann last year, builds and automates drill rigs for mineral discovery. Its name is inspired by a lineage of dwarf kings in "The Lord of the Rings." Dwarves are famous for their mining skills.

Rivendell One LLC

Rivendell, often described in the novels as a hidden sanctuary in Middle Earth, is home to the elven kingdom. It is also a trust that Thiel uses to invest and manage his Facebook shares.

Lembas LLC

Lembas, another investment vehicle Thiel founded, is a special food made by elves in "The Lord of the Rings" series. It's light and nutritious and a good snack that sustains elves as they travel across Middle Earth.

Valar Ventures

Valar Ventures, a venture capital firm cofounded by Thiel, Andrew McCormack, and James Fitzgerald, is a reference to a group of powerful beings with godlike powers revered in Middle Earth.

There's also a startup called Valar that is building gigasites for nuclear reactors.

Sauron Systems

This home security system that leverages AI is named after Sauron, the main character of "The Lord of the Rings," who seeks the powerful ring to rule all of Middle Earth. The Eye of Sauron is ever-watchful and all-seeing.

• The biggest hedge funds are battling it out to attract and retain top talent and outperform peers.
• Business Insider has talked to elite hedge funds to get a peek into their recruiting processes.
• From internships to high-paying tech jobs, here's what we know about their hiring practices.

The battle for talent in the hedge fund world is fiercer than ever — and it cuts across all levels and positions.

With six-figure starting salaries, intense work environments, and the chance to work alongside some of the industry's top investors, these roles are among the most competitive in finance.

Internships can pay over $5,000 a week. Salaries for entry-level analysts and software engineers are often in the six-figure range. Portfolio managers with winning strategies can take home tens of millions.

Business Insider spoke with top hedge fund managers like Citadel, Millennium, and Point72 about how they attract and evaluate talent, and what advice they'd give to anyone hoping to break in.

Here's everything we know about getting a job at a large hedge fund.

Internships

Years ago, the opaque and secretive world of hedge funds might not have been an obvious career choice for most college graduates on their path to Wall Street. However, these investing behemoths are now investing in getting young, diverse wunderkinder, especially mathletes, familiar with their brands as early as high school.

Internships are another talent pipeline for some of the biggest multi-strategy hedge funds, which employ armies of traders and engineers. Programs can be uber-competitive and harder to get into than many top Ivy League schools.

Citadel's summer internship program, for example, has become increasingly competitive. This year, the hedge fund accepted around 300 interns to spend 11 weeks at Griffin's hedge fund or his market maker, working with stock-pickers, quants, engineers, and more. The firm told BI that there were more than 108,000 applicants for the programs, with an acceptance rate of roughly 0.4%.

• Here's how to land a spot at Citadel's summer internship
• Citadel's associate program is a separate internship that puts rising college seniors on track to land a full-time investing role at the $66 billion fund.
• Ken Griffin's advice to interns: Hustle during your 20s and be aggressive when asking for a promotion

We also spoke to Point72 and D.E. Shaw about what they looked for in interns and how to stand out for a potential job offer down the line.

• Here's what it takes to stand out as an intern at Steve Cohen's Point72 and land a job offer
• A D.E. Shaw internship could land a dream gig at the secretive hedge fund. Here's what it takes.

Analyst and investment training programs

In the past, hedge funds acquired investment talent from investment banks. Increasingly, however, the industry's top players are recruiting college students through intensive training programs that can lead to jobs straight out of college.

Creating a pipeline of portfolio managers has been an increasingly popular strategy for hedge funds locked in an increasingly expensive battle for top talent.

• How to get accepted into Point72's ultra-elite analyst training program, whose acceptance rate is less than 1%
• Inside Point72's PM incubator LaunchPoint, where Steve Cohen is known to grill up-and-comers who think they're ready for the big time
• Inside Balyasny's Anthem training program, where aspiring portfolio managers are handed hundreds of millions of dollars to prove they can cut it
• Behind the training programs at Balyasny, which is looking to get ahead in the war for investment talent

Tech jobs and training programs

Hedge funds have long been competing with the finance industry and top tech companies for top technologists. Engineers and algorithm developers are key to helping researchers, data scientists, and traders develop cutting-edge investment strategies and platforms. Quant shop D.E. Shaw also has a unique approach to finding talent.

• Inside Citadel's exclusive engineering program that's helped the hedge fund snap up talent from Google and Goldman Sachs
• Here's how to get a tech job at Millennium, from the programming language to know to the interview questions to prep for

Inside Man Group's popular training program for non-tech employees that teaches them skills to automate tasks and reduce errors in their work

A rundown of some of the gatekeepers to know

The "business development" role is one of the most important at hedge funds, as it specializes in scouting and evaluating investment hires. Knowing these in-house talent scouts and external recruiters is crucial.

• The rise of the hedge-fund talent whisperers
• The talent brokers of quant trading: The headhunters at the forefront of Wall Street's systematic-trading and data-science hiring frenzy
• Try our searchable database of more than 350 Wall Street headhunters to find your dream job in private equity, investment banking, or hedge funds

Other resources and advice

Here's a look at how some firms find and vet new employees, what skills and qualities they're looking for …

• Why quant giant D.E. Shaw seeks out academics, doctors, and veterans to work at the hedge fund
• Citadel portfolio manager explains how he rose in the ranks of the hedge fund and what he looks for in a new hire
• Inside the 5-hour psychological interview that can make or break your career at Citadel, Blackstone, and other finance titans

• Inside the spycraft hedge funds use to vet multimillion-dollar traders, which is edging into murky legal territory

• Tourists have flocked to Martha's Vineyard for over 100 years for summer getaways.
• Originally settled by Native Americans, the island became a wealthy enclave by the 1830s.
• By the 1950s, Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard was a popular spot for Black families.

Sandy toes, days spent lounging in the sun, and celebrity sightings: not much has changed on Martha's Vineyard since its heyday in the 1960s.

First inhabited by the Wampanoag people, Martha's Vineyard later earned a reputation as a playground for the ultrawealthy.

The New York Times reported that whaling captains began building impressive homes there between 1830 and 1845, transforming the Massachusetts island.

By the early 1900s, the island was established as a resort destination for well-off New Englanders. By the 1950s, Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard had become a popular destination for Black families and residents to live and vacation.

Here's a look at what it used to be like to vacation on Martha's Vineyard.

Martha's Vineyard is located off the coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

Martha's Vineyard is the sister island of Nantucket, Massachusetts, another playground for the rich and famous. However, "the Vineyard," as it is commonly named, is larger than Nantucket.

Located 7 miles off the coast of Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard is the largest island on Massachusetts' southeastern coast, with a square-mile area of 96 miles, a local tourism website reported.

The island grew as a popular beach destination in the 1950s.

The Vineyard Gazette reported that in 1959, roughly 30,000 more cars were transported via the ferry from the mainland to the island compared to a decade earlier.

Martha's Vineyard was, and still is, a popular beach destination.

The island consists of six towns and many beaches, many of which are free and open to the public.

There's a rich agricultural history on Martha's Vineyard, from farming to fishing.

From the red clay Gay Head Cliffs to the rural towns of Aquinnah, Chilmark, and West Tisbury, Martha's Vineyard provided a respite for families looking to explore the island's natural charms.

By the 1960s, Martha's Vineyard was a thriving tourist destination with expansive beaches and restaurants.

The Vineyard also became a popular "hippie" destination during the Summer of Love and the years following it.

Martha's Vineyard Magazine reported that while the Vineyard had already become a popular destination for summer visitors, many "hippie folks" who "washed ashore" — a term given to mainlanders who move to one of the New England islands — ended up staying long-term.

"The hippie 'invasion' was one of the many mass movements onto the Island after the Europeans startled the Wampanoags," journalist Richard C. Skidmore wrote for Martha's Vineyard Magazine in 2008.

Tourists mainly got to the island by ferry.

The ferry is still a popular way to visit Martha's Vineyard, though you can also fly. Passengers can walk onto the ferry or pay to drive their cars aboard.

In the 1970s, Martha's Vineyard boomed as a tourist destination for Black families.

While Martha's Vineyard's overall population is predominantly white, the town of Oak Bluffs has been a popular destination for Black tourists for over 100 years.

As reported by Ebony Magazine, Oak Bluffs rose to prominence as a Black tourist destination in 1912 with the opening of the Inn at Shearer Cottage.

Owned by Charles Shearer, the son of an enslaved woman, the inn was one of the few options for Black tourists looking to take a summer vacation.

The inn thrived, and people kept coming back year after year to Oak Bluffs. It soon grew into a place where lodging for Black families and individuals was plentiful, which was typically rare in major resort towns.

By the mid-1950s, Oak Bluffs had become "a full-blown Black resort."

"The days were full. There were berries to pick, a morning's adventure. There were band concerts for an evening's stroll. There were invitations to lemonade and cookies and whist," author Jill Nelson wrote in "Finding Martha's Vineyard: African Americans at Home on an Island," according to Britannica.

"The Vineyard was an ideal place to figure out who we really were underneath all the other stuff. Here, it was enough that you simply be yourself," Nelson continued.

Martha's Vineyard was also a notable Hollywood destination in the 1970s.

The iconic cult-classic film "Jaws" was filmed on Martha's Vineyard in the summer of 1974.

The Martha's Vineyard Chamber of Commerce website reported that "Jaws" came to be after a writer, Peter Benchley, shared stories about nearby shark attacks with dinner guests at his Nantucket home.

Steven Spielberg, who attended the dinner party, was so compelled by the stories that he bought the rights to Benchley's novel.

Spielberg later chose Martha's Vineyard, the island next to Nantucket, as the film's primary shooting location.

Martha's Vineyard also became a playground for the rich and famous.

While the Vineyard still attracted day-trippers and families, it grew into a celebrity locale in the 1970s, attracting the likes of Carly Simon and Peter Simon, her brother and photographer, who lived on the island for most of his life, according to his website.

Jackie Kennedy also put Martha's Vineyard on the map when she purchased a 340-acre oceanfront property known as Red Gate Farm.

Kennedy purchased the land for $1 million in 1979 and then spent another $3.1 million to build the house. The property was completed in 1981 and became a hangout for the Kennedys.

In 2020, the property was listed for $65 million. In 2021, the Martha's Vineyard Land Bank Commission purchased 32 acres of the expansive property for $10 million as part of a two-part sale that also included a $27 million land purchase the previous year, Martha's Vineyard Times reported.

Martha's Vineyard remains a popular beach destination for people from all walks of life.

From the wealthiest celebrities to the humblest day-trippers, Martha's Vineyard remains a place for people to gather, hit the beach, and grab an ice-cream cone — though you'll need to contend with crowds and high rental prices if you want to stay overnight.

Though some things change, summer in New England will likely always stay the same.

• My grandmother always dreamed of going to Italy, but losing my grandfather put her plans on hold.
• My husband and I surprised her with a trip to Sicily for her 75th birthday.
• We found Sicily to be an accessible trip for an older relative, and can't wait to go back to Italy.

When she's not busy caring for everyone else, my grandmother loves to travel.

She's the one who really instilled a sense of wanderlust in our whole family. She's often embarking on a solo trip, or at least researching her next excursion across Europe.

For the longest time, her biggest dream was to visit Italy, and she spent years planning and saving up for a trip.

When my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, her travel plans were put on hold and she devoted herself entirely to his care. The last few years were extremely taxing on her physically and emotionally, leaving my grandmother burned out and in a state of grief after my grandfather died in the spring of last year.

For her 75th birthday, my husband and I decided to surprise her with a trip to Italy to fulfill her lifelong dream. We ended up going to Sicily and left with unforgettable memories.

We chose Sicily for a few reasons, including accessibility

With so many beautiful cities in Italy, it was difficult to choose the best place to go.

My grandmother had previously mentioned towns like Portofino and Cinque Terre, so we knew we had to stay coastal. Plus, since her birthday is in May, we wanted to go as far south as we could to enjoy some warm weather and the sea breeze.

We landed on Sicily and chose a quaint seafront hotel in Giardini Naxos, located just north of Catania. It turned out to be the perfect location and time of year to visit, especially with my grandmother's age, comfort, and needs in mind.

With two international airports located in Catania and Palermo, as well as a convenient railway system and a comprehensive bus network running across the island, Sicily is very easy to get to — and just as easy to navigate.

There was a direct bus from the airport to the town, giving my grandmother a chance to soak in the views and snap photos along the way.

May was the perfect time to enjoy warm weather with fewer crowds

The weather was warm enough to take a dip in the pool at our hotel, but we didn't have to deal with the sweltering Sicilian sun of the mid-summer months.

Since it wasn't peak season, the town had a relaxing feel with fewer tourists and crowds than we might've seen at a different time. We never had to wait in long lines, either.

From Giardini Naxos, we took a 15-minute bus ride to the iconic hilltop town of Taormina. The bus, running every 20 minutes, dropped us off right at the foot of the old town, which my grandmother greatly appreciated.

Although we skipped a "White Lotus" selfie at the Four Seasons in Taormina, we did meander down the side streets, indulge in gelato, and take in the panoramic views of Mt. Etna at Villa Comunale, the public gardens of Taormina.

I felt like we had an authentic Italian experience, complete with excellent hospitality and great food

Sicily taught me that the stereotype about Italian hospitality exists for a reason. Everywhere we went, we were greeted with "Ciao ragazzi" and warm smiles, making us feel right at home.

We ate fresh seafood dishes like pasta alle vongole (pasta with clams). Although she didn't partake, my grandmother admired my husband's adventurous appetite when he tried ricci di mare (sea urchins), a Sicilian delicacy.

All over the island, we saw the striking ceramic heads of a man and woman (teste di moro), often in the form of vases. Deeply rooted in Sicilian folklore, the heads have various stories explaining their origins, mostly involving themes of love and betrayal.

To remember our trip, my grandmother and I bought small ceramic pine cones, another powerful symbol in Sicilian culture, representing prosperity and good luck.

Making my grandmother smile on her birthday was the greatest gift of all

Although it was her first birthday without my grandfather, it was a beautiful experience for all of us.

For my grandmother, it meant not feeling alone in her grief and fulfilling a lifelong dream to visit Italy. For me, it meant making memories with my grandmother and seeing her smile.

Losing someone we love reminded us that we have to make the most of every moment. I'll always cherish this memory with my grandmother and am so grateful I was there for her first trip to Italy, though it certainly won't be our last.

• John Jacob Astor built his fortune in the fur business and New York real estate.
• John Jacob Astor III and William Backhouse Astor Jr. cofounded the Waldorf-Astoria after a feud.
• Modern Astor descendants have been politicians, philanthropists, and British royal associates.

Astoria, Queens. Astor Place. The Waldorf-Astoria. Even if you're not a New Yorker, you've heard of these iconic places.

You also probably know they're named for one very powerful family: the Astors.

To this day, the Astors' money and influence still make waves in society.

So how do you build a dynasty like this one, with money that lasts for generations? Take a look at how the Astors made their fortune.

The Astors came from nothing.

Johann Jacob Astor worked as a butcher in Walldorf, southeastern Germany, Elizabeth Louisa Gebhard wrote in her 1915 book, "The Life and Ventures of the Original John Jacob Astor." His ancestors are said to have been French Huguenots who'd fled to Germany after the revocation of the Edict of Nantes, which had granted protection to Protestants.

His son, John Jacob Astor, was born in Walldorf in 1763.

As a youngster, John Jacob Astor worked for his father as a dairy salesman. He had three brothers, the eldest of whom, George, left home to work for an uncle in London who made musical instruments. John Jacob Astor met up with him there after his 16th birthday.

John Jacob Astor built his fortune in the fur business and through buying and selling New York real estate.

After the Treaty of Paris was signed in 1783, he immigrated to New York and took a job with a fur trader. By 1800, he'd built up his own fur business and was worth $250,000, or about $6.2 million in 2024, according to Encyclopedia Britannica.

John Jacob Astor also bought and sold acres upon acres of land in and around New York City, including what is now Times Square. 

In 1785, he married Sarah Todd. They had three children: Magdalena, John Jacob II, and William.

He was one of the wealthiest men in the US upon his death in 1848, according to the Library of Congress.

William Backhouse Astor continued his father's real-estate ventures and philanthropy.

He continued to invest in real estate by building over 700 stores and residences in New York City, according to Encyclopedia Britannica.

He also bequeathed thousands of dollars to St. Luke's Hospital on the Upper West Side and the Astor Library, which eventually became the New York Public Library.

William and his wife, Margaret, had seven children — John Jacob Astor III and William Backhouse Astor Jr. were the most prominent.

William Jr. had some success as a developer in Florida.

John Jacob Astor III, along with his wife Charlotte Gibbs, was a major philanthropist who founded the Children's Aid Society.

The iconic Waldorf Astoria hotel in New York City was the result of a family feud between John III and William Jr.'s descendants.

John III's son, William Waldorf Astor, built the 13-story Waldorf Hotel in 1893 on 33rd Street and Fifth Avenue.

Waldorf Astor's cousin and rival, John Jacob Astor IV, built a taller hotel next door four years later to outdo him.

Eventually, the two hotels were joined with a marble corridor, resulting in the first Waldorf Astoria.

The simmering tensions prompted William Waldorf Astor to move to London in 1891.

There, he bought and restored the 125-acre Hever Castle in 1903, purchased the British newspaper The Observer in 1911, and obtained the rank of Viscount in 1917.

William Jr.'s son, John Jacob Astor IV, perished in the sinking of the Titanic in 1912.

John Jacob Astor IV was the only son of William Backhouse Astor Jr.

As well as his part in the creation of the Waldorf Astoria, John Jacob Astor IV built another iconic New York hotel, the St. Regis, which opened in 1904. He was also a published author and patented multiple inventions, such as a bicycle brake and a turbine engine.

After divorcing his first wife, 47-year-old Astor married 18-year-old Madeleine Talmage Force, in what was considered a scandal at the time. While Madeleine was pregnant, the couple booked tickets for the Titanic — he was believed to be the wealthiest passenger aboard the doomed ship.

Two weeks after the Titanic sank in April 1912, a search crew found his body in the water. He was identified by the initials stitched into his suit and his gold pocket watch. The watch sold at auction for $1.5 million in 2024.

His young wife and their unborn son survived.

Still, the Astors remained a force. In 1931, the modern Waldorf Astoria opened on Park Avenue and became legendary for its service.

The Waldorf Astoria has hosted US presidents, dignitaries, and countless celebrities.

In 2014, the historic hotel was purchased by Chinese insurance group Anbang for $1.95 billion. In 2017, it closed for renovations to convert 375 rooms into luxury condominiums called The Towers of the Waldorf Astoria. The hotel is expected to reopen in September, according to its official website.

Known for her charity work, Brooke Astor emerged as the matriarch of the American Astors.

Brooke Astor married Vincent Astor, the first son of John Jacob Astor IV. It made her the great-great granddaughter, by marriage, of John Jacob Astor.

She donated over $195 million to hospitals, cultural institutions, and community service programs in New York City through the Vincent Astor Foundation, according to The New York Community Trust. President Bill Clinton awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom in recognition of her philanthropy in 1998.

Brooke Astor died in 2007 at age 105 and was the subject of a four-page obituary in The New York Times.

Her son, Anthony Marshall, was convicted of stealing millions of dollars from her in 2009 and sentenced to prison.

The British side of the Astor family continued to hold positions of power, as well.

Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor, who was married to Waldorf Astor, 2nd Viscount Astor, became the first woman in the House of Commons in the chamber's history in 1919.

Her son, David Astor, rose to prominence as the longtime editor of The Observer and an anti-apartheid activist, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Modern members of the Astor family remain influential figures.

William Astor, 4th Viscount of Astor, is a member of the House of Lords and the stepfather of Samantha Cameron, the former British first lady married to David Cameron.

John Jacob Astor, 3rd Baron Astor of Hever, also sat in the House of Lords from 1986 until his retirement in 2022, according to the UK Parliament's official website.

William Waldorf Astor's great-great-granddaughter, Rose Astor, married Prince William's close friend, Hugh van Cutsem, in 2005. Their daughter, Grace van Cutsem, is perhaps best known as the young bridesmaid who appeared grumpy at Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding in 2011, pictured above on the left.

Another great-great-grandchild of William Waldorf Astor, Harry Lopes, married Queen Camilla's daughter, Laura Parker-Bowles, in 2006.

This story was originally published in April 2012. It was updated in July 2024 and July 2025.

• During trips to Iceland, I visited both the Blue Lagoon and Sky Lagoon.
• The Blue Lagoon was otherworldly, but the popular tourist attraction was very busy.
• The Sky Lagoon is only a 15-minute drive from downtown Reykjavik, but it felt very peaceful.

In the past year, I've been to Iceland three times.

There's so much I love about the country, but one of the highlights of each of my trips has been soaking in the lagoons that Iceland is known for.

I've been to two different lagoons, but there's only one I want to visit again and again.

The Blue Lagoon is one of Iceland's most popular destinations.

During my first trip to Iceland, I visited the Blue Lagoon, one of the country's most famous tourist attractions. With its milky-blue waters set in a black lava field, it's easy to see why it draws so many visitors — the landscape truly feels otherworldly.

Plus, it's close to Iceland's international airport, making it a convenient stop for travelers who need to kill time after landing or before departure.

The cost of admission varies depending on the time of day and package booked, but starts at about $124. My ticket came with a silica mud mask that I wore in the water.

I was also interested in enhancing my experience by visiting the onsite spa, which includes a multistep wellness ritual. However, full-day admission starts at over $1,300 per couple, which was too pricey for my budget.

The Blue Lagoon is beautiful, but I probably won't be going back.

Although the lagoon is undeniably pretty, it's big and often crowded. In fact, I was left with the impression that the Blue Lagoon might be a victim of its own success.

I still had a nice experience and can see why it's so popular. However, after going to other lagoons and hot springs in Iceland, it isn't my first choice for a return visit.

I also visited the Sky Lagoon, which has an upscale feel.

The Sky Lagoon is only a 15-minute drive from downtown Reykjavik, so it was more convenient to access during my trip.

Unlike at the Blue Lagoon, I immediately felt a sense of calm when I walked in. It has a serene atmosphere that I thought felt closer to a traditional spa, incorporating elements of Iceland's unique natural environment throughout.

Basalt lava rocks and moss-covered hills surround the warm waters, and even the swim-up bar is camouflaged by natural elements.

This spot has the feel of an infinity pool with stunning views of the Atlantic Ocean, and the beautiful, wild Icelandic landscape I flew across an ocean to experience.

My admission to the Sky Lagoon felt like a great value.

I would've been happy just sitting back, enjoying the view, and soaking up the peaceful atmosphere at the Sky Lagoon.

However, admission (which starts at about $133) also comes with access to the Skojl Ritual, which is a seven-step process that draws on Iceland's history of wellness practices. It includes a series of alternating hot and cold circuits, including a cool-mist rain shower and a sauna with stunning views.

I don't usually enjoy saunas because the heat makes me feel lightheaded. However, I pushed my limits and stayed to enjoy the view. I also really enjoyed the salt scrub.

For me, the Sky Lagoon stands out as my favorite.

For me, the one downside to visiting the Sky Lagoon is that children under 12 aren't allowed in. That means I couldn't go when I visited Iceland with my children.

However, the nearly adult-only atmosphere is a definite plus for many people and adds to the upscale environment that helps the Sky Lagoon stand out.

I hope to one day visit some of Iceland's other lagoons, but for now, the Sky Lagoon is my top pick.

• Several things surprised me about visiting Dublin for the first time.
• The Irish city was cleaner, kinder, and more vegetarian-friendly than I imagined it would be.
• I was surprised how lax local tipping culture differed from what I was used to in the US.

I've felt a connection with Dublin just about my entire life — and it's not because of ancestral history.

My last name (Dubin) is just one letter away, and most of my mail comes misspelled in the name of the city instead. True story.

Despite that similarity, and the fact that I've flown all around the world in my role as a travel writer, I'd never actually been to the Irish capital city until this year.

When I finally got the chance to visit, I was impressed and felt inspired to visit again. Here's what I was surprised to discover during my first trip to Dublin.

Locals I encountered seemed incredibly warm — but not in a performative way.

I've heard many people rave about Irish hospitality, and Dublin didn't disappoint on that front.

However, what really stood out to me was how genuine the friendliness from locals felt. It wasn't the kind of overly rehearsed, customer-service-polished vibe you sometimes find in touristy cities.

People I encountered felt kind, helpful, and funny in a natural, unforced way. Our driver cracked jokes and gave us tons of travel tips that had rich local flavor, but didn't feel like a shtick.

The whole city gave off a low-key, welcoming energy that stayed with me long after I left.

More restaurants had vegetarian options than I expected.

As a vegetarian, I came in with pretty low expectations for the variety of foods I'd get to eat when it came to dining out in Dublin. Local cuisine tends to rely heavily on meat, from Irish breakfasts to pies and stews.

Many menus I browsed had lots of meat dishes and it initially looked like plant-based options would be few and far between. However, once I asked restaurant staff in person, I was surprised by how accommodating most places were.

Some servers brought out full vegetarian menus that weren't printed and only available to customers who requested them. Others happily offered to have something special prepared from the kitchen or make vegetarian-friendly menu swaps.

Local tipping culture felt more low-key than what I was used to back home.

In the US, tipping feels mandatory. In Dublin, it just didn't seem like the norm.

Like many Americans, I'm conditioned to tip generously (sometimes even going way above what's suggested) in restaurants or service settings.

Aside from tossing down a few extra euros, tipping didn't seem to be expected at casual cafés or bars. Even at sit-down restaurants, tipping our server 10% seemed ample, whereas 20% feels like the typical minimum back at home in California.

The more lax tipping culture definitely took some getting used to, but once I adjusted, it felt refreshingly pressure free.

I was surprised by how clean the city felt.

Dublin's streets were some of the cleanest I've seen in a major European city. This was an especially impressive feat, given that I visited the city during St. Patrick's Day.

Even though it had hosted a massive parade and beers and crowds spilled out of every pub the cleanup was surprisingly swift and civilized.

I was expecting a bit more grit — especially in high-traffic areas around the city center or Temple Bar — but even those looked remarkably tidy.

Sidewalks were free of litter, public trash bins weren't overflowing, and I never once encountered the kind of mess that can be common outside of crowded, late-night spots.

For a city with so much foot traffic (and so many pubs), it was honestly impressive.

The city feels cozy and cosmopolitan at the same time.

Dublin hits that rare sweet spot: it's a capital city with real cultural and historical heft, but it still feels approachable and easy to navigate.

With a greater area population around a million (and a Dublin city population substantially smaller), I never felt overwhelmed by crowds or traffic.

Plus, many major sights were walkable. Even when the city center was packed for the holiday events, it was easy to navigate in and around the area.

I had no trouble making my way to several sights outside the urban area, from Avoca Mill (the country's oldest working hand-weaving mill) to Kildare Village (a luxury shopping outpost).

There's a strong creative energy in the air — from bookstores and galleries to street musicians — but the overall pace is slower and more relaxed than what I've experienced in bigger European capitals.

• Last month, China unveiled a mosquito-like spy drone designed for covert military operations.
• The drone's size and weight could limit its uses on the battlefield, military analysts told BI.
• It could still prove to be an effective new surveillance tool, experts say.

Last month, China's National University of Defense Technology unveiled a new spy drone designed to look like a mosquito.

Showcased on the state-run CCTV-7 military broadcaster, the micro-drone appeared to be roughly the size of a human fingernail and featured tiny, leaf-like wings and thin, wiry legs.

While it may not look as impressive as some of the bigger unmanned systems coming out of Ukraine, its stick-thin body is said to be equipped for a range of covert surveillance and military operations.

"As a drone to surveil buildings, especially on the inside, I can imagine it being quite useful for video feeds," Herb Lin, a senior research scholar at Stanford's Center for International Security and Cooperation, told Business Insider.

But its small size may limit its uses on the battlefield.

"If it's real, and powered conventionally (with a battery), its longevity in the air will be limited by battery capacity," Lin said. "Also, it's very light, and therefore easily buffeted by winds. These factors suggest it isn't particularly useful for wide-area surveillance."

Drones can be highly sensitive to weather, in particular strong winds, rain, snow, cold weather, and fog.

And the smaller an aerial drone is, the more susceptible it is to such conditions, Samuel Bendett, an advisor with the Center for Naval Analyses and drone expert, said. "Even indoors, there can be conditions that could interfere with this drones' performance, such as even a slight breeze, an air flow from an AC, an open window, or other obstacles."

Communications are another issue to consider, Bendett continued, as the drone's size means it's unlikely to be able to carry much advanced equipment.

"While it is technically possible to build a tiny UAV like the one displayed by the Chinese developers, its actual performance is likely to greatly vary," he said.

Others say that the new drone is a sign of China's continuing innovation in the sector.

Michael Horowitz, a senior fellow for technology and innovation at the Council on Foreign Relations, said it showed "Chinese researchers in particular want to push forward technological innovation in drones."

It remains unclear how real the capability is, how soon China could field the tech, or the type of missions it could use them for, he added.

• After graduating from Yale, I moved back in with my parents in a low-income building in Brooklyn.
• When I was growing up, I became close with all my neighbors who struggled with poverty.
• Returning home after living on an Ivy League campus has been confusing.

Four years ago, when people asked me which part of college I was most excited for, I always said having my own room.

Yale's dorms were a welcome change from the living conditions in my Brooklyn neighborhood. On the outside, the place my parents rented looked like any other two or three-family house, but inside, every floor was leased out to multiple families.

My upbringing was many things: love and a chorus of voices that included a Vietnam War veteran, four children, and an expert crocheter. They were all my neighbors — many of them low-income. Every evening, we gathered for communal dinners, sharing stories and laughs. But privacy was never part of the equation.

I left that environment for the private world of the Ivy League, living in dorms that radiated privilege.

And then I blinked, and last May, I graduated. After four years, I stepped out of the privilege, access, and relentless ambition that Yale had afforded me and returned to my family's Brooklyn home.

Moving home after college was a jump back to reality

When I arrived at my apartment after graduation, the first thing I did was hug one of the younger tenants, a 10-year-old girl I consider my sister. She waited for me at the door with flowers — a belated graduation present, she said. Later that evening, with her mother's permission, we took the N train to her favorite spot: Coney Island Beach and Boardwalk.

We had to make a pit stop at Coney's Cones, of course. Inside, she stood on her tiptoes, squinting at the selection of gelato and sorbet. "Eyeglasses," I wrote in my notepad of things to buy for her. I leaned down and whispered, "Don't look at the prices. Get anything."

Once we were seated, I asked how things had been. She told me that they were the same. At school, she enjoys math but dislikes writing, and the staircases in the projects still reek of cigarettes, but at least the neighbor's cat comes by once in a while to play with her.

"It's kind of lonely without you here," she suddenly blurted.

I tried to explain that I had to leave for college, that it wasn't about her. I wanted to say something — to fix her loneliness, her abandonment — but my mouth was just a home for my teeth. I reached for her hand, and we exited the café, heading toward the line to purchase Ferris wheel tickets.

I couldn't help grow solemn. The sad reality of building relationships with other tenants is that there is nothing more we wish than to see each other leave the situation we find ourselves in. No one wishes to live in the projects forever. This means saying goodbye at some point — and leaving loved ones behind.

I'm now thinking more about what it meant to be at Yale

An elite education doesn't guarantee stability or a sense of belonging, especially not for first-generation graduates navigating the job market. We often lack a safety net and carry the weight of family responsibilities. What my Ivy League education does offer is a chance: the foundation to build a future for myself and my family.

Still, many of my neighbors and friends remain where they've always been, caught in cycles of poverty, domestic trauma, and systemic injustice. The pandemic only further crippled those living at or under the poverty line.

College was never the finish line. It was the beginning of a more complicated story — one in which I must navigate ambition with memory, privilege with purpose, and personal advancement with a renewed commitment to support others in my community through their struggles, especially those without access to open doors.

But the truth is, it took a village for me to get to Yale, and many of my greatest supporters were not related to me by blood.

I'm trying to reconcile my future with my family's and neighbors'

Inside the Ferris wheel gondola, just as we were about to reach the top, my apartment-mate proudly took out a fluffy purse that I had bought for her 8th birthday. It was heavy, full of coins. She told me that her mother began paying her 50 cents for taking out the trash or washing the dishes, and one of our neighbors occasionally hires her to water his plants.

"Wow, you're rich," I said, nudging her playfully.

We laughed, and the setting sun caught our faces. In the distance, the waves rolled back and forth, and I wondered how many more times I'd get to share these moments with her before the world pulled us apart again. I won't let it.

• Sierra is TJX's outdoor lifestyle brand, selling apparel, gear, home goods, and pet products.
• It's still relatively small, but TJX said the chain could grow to 325 locations.
• Business Insider visited a store for a closer look at T.J. Maxx's younger, sportier sibling.

Shopping for outdoor lifestyle stuff is normally a quick way to burn a lot of cash.

Whether at Dick's Sporting Goods or REI, well-made apparel and gear usually come at a premium price — even with the occasional coupon or sale.

My consumer experience with activewear (and inactivewear), shoes, and other accessories led me to believe the relationship between quality and price was somewhat fixed.

That was before I discovered Sierra.

I gave my local store in Madison, Wisconsin, a look for the first time a few years ago.

I've done plenty of shopping at Sierra's more widely known siblings, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, and HomeGoods, and I never really felt the spark that keeps die-hard Maxxinistas coming back. Yes, the discounts at those stores seem large, but I'm not always able to tell if the price is actually a good value — especially if I don't recognize the brand.

Scanning the racks at Sierra was a different story, however. These were brands that I knew and trusted, like Smartwool, Carhartt, and more.

Each time I came back, I wondered why the Sierra brand wasn't more widely known relative to TJX's other brands and even other outdoor retailers.

It turns out, the reason is pretty simple. The brand was, and still is, fairly small and a more recent addition to the TJX portfolio.

Originally called Sierra Trading Post, the company started as a catalog company in 1986 in Reno, Nevada. It later moved to Wyoming and launched its e-commerce business in 1999.

TJX acquired it for $200 million in 2012. The first TJX-owned stores were located in Denver, followed by its first East Coast location in Burlington, Vermont.

In 2018, with a fleet of a few dozen stores, TJX relocated the company's headquarters to its main offices in Framingham, Massachusetts, and dropped the "Trading Post" from the name. The brand has since been on a growth spurt, on track to have 137 US locations by the end of this year.

In the longer term, TJX said it expects the brand to have 325 locations, more than triple the number of stores it had a year ago.

That gives Sierra the fastest growth rate of any brand in the TJX portfolio, though in fairness, T.J. Maxx and Marshalls have more than 2,500 US locations combined, so their growth is slower.

Sierra's tiny stature means it barely receives individual mention in TJX earnings calls beyond annual announcements of planned store openings, per equity research platform AlphaSense.

Out of the spotlight, Sierra has nevertheless been busy.

Foot traffic data from Placer.ai found that customer visits doubled between 2019 and 2022, driven in part by a pandemic-era rush to spend more time outside. While some of that increase is a result of simply having more stores, visits per store were also up, Placer.ai said.

In one of Sierra's rare mentions, TJX CEO Ernie Herrman characterized the store's assortment as "moderate to very high end " in 2022. My experience certainly supports his assessment.

Some recent treasure-hunt finds include the pair of Fjällräven pants I got, the pair of Lodge cast iron enamel dutch ovens in my kitchen, and an ever-expanding collection of insulated drinkware from Yeti, Stanley, and Hydro Flask.

High-quality items from known brands have also given me the confidence to try unfamiliar offerings from the store's assortment, and I am rarely disappointed. Hydrapeak's mugs may not have the current cultural cachet of Stanley's cups, but they do a solid job for a fraction of the price.

Sierra's selection can be somewhat limited compared to a traditional retailer's, but I almost always find something worthwhile. I now make a point of checking Sierra before or after trips to REI and Dick's.

Neither of those competitors is sleeping on Sierra, though.

In addition to its Public Lands stores, Dick's has recently experimented with clearance stores like the Warehouse Sale and Going Going Gone. And the online REI Outlet offers deep discounts on many of the items the co-op carries in its stores.

Still, Sierra has been in the game for a long time online, and its physical presence is expanding at a rate that could see it match REI's store count in just a few years.

Another difference is that, unlike other national or regional outdoor lifestyle chains, Sierra's parent company is a powerhouse of off-price retailing.

TJX's fingerprints are all over Sierra's stores, and the combination of its tried-and-tested playbook with this retail category makes the small but mighty brand an exciting one to follow.

• This post originally appeared in the BI Today newsletter.
• You can sign up for Business Insider's daily newsletter here.

Welcome back to our Sunday edition, where we round up some of our top stories and take you inside our newsroom. BI's Jake Epstein spent the night aboard a US Navy destroyer traveling from England to France. He said the space was tight, as he got a taste of what daily life is like.

By the way, you can get the latest on modern warfare, defense tech innovations, and more with BI's new Defense Flash delivered to your inbox every week. Sign up here!

On the agenda today:

• Inside Silicon Valley's $100 million salary divide.
• It's the age of the "Zillow Ban." Here's what homeowners should do.
• Amazon rolls out a stricter performance review process, BI exclusively reports.
• Wall Streeters told BI the hottest restaurants, bars, and clubs in the Hamptons.

But first: BI has the receipts on the impact of AI data.

If this was forwarded to you, sign up here. Download Business Insider's app here.

This week's dispatch

Tallying the full costs of AI

To fulfill the promise of AI, data centers have sprung up around the country, using water, land, and electricity to deliver computing power for the booming tech.

A team of BI reporters and editors sought to quantify the spread of these centers and show the impact on their surroundings. I chatted with two lead reporters on the project, Hannah Beckler and Dakin Campbell, about their takeaways.

Hannah, Dakin, in a nutshell, how many data centers are there in the United States, and how fast is the boom happening?

There are 1,240 data centers either built or approved for construction in the United States. That's four times as many as there were in 2010.

What is the biggest worry with the spread of data centers — the green space they use, the water, the electricity? And if these concerns are urgent, why aren't towns pushing back?

Electricity and water use are large concerns because they are limited resources. But data centers often bring tax revenue, which towns use to build roads, schools, and fire stations. Public officials have been caught in the middle, with some towns pushing back and others openly welcoming the industry with tax breaks.

Are there benefits to data centers, both for nearby property owners and for the promise of AI?

AI could usher in tremendous benefits, from business savings to life-saving science. Many also argue that a leading AI industry bolsters national security. For nearby property owners, the benefits are typically the tax revenue their towns collect, short-term jobs in construction (which can also bring road congestion), and perhaps a few dozen longer-term tech jobs in their community.

For the future, what are the most important issues about data centers that people should be watching?

The largest tech firms understand that public opinion is mixed about their use of resources like power and water, and they are taking steps to improve their efficiency. It will be critical to see whether they will find ways to use less water and more renewable energy.

Big Tech's winner-take-all era

In Silicon Valley, companies like Meta and OpenAI are offering eye-popping pay packages to technical hires to secure the best talent in the AI race.

At the same time, however, rank-and-file tech workers are being laid off by the thousands. The result is an uneven shift that's going all-in on AI while squeezing other areas of innovation.

The great salary divide.

Also read:

• In Silicon Valley, it is the summer of comp FOMO as Meta and OpenAI offer tens of millions of dollars to lure top AI talent
• Mira Murati's secretive new startup is dangling $500,000 salaries for top talent

The "Zillow Ban" is here

Zillow's new policy blacklists any homes that are shared publicly by an agent without being posted to the local databases that inform the rest of the real estate industry. It's part of Zillow's ongoing battle against big brokerages to crack down on "exclusive inventory" — home listings that are shared in some places but not others.

The fight leaves homebuyers and sellers in a weird spot, but not a powerless one. The rules of the game are changing, and consumers should know exactly what they're getting from their agents and how much they'll be paying them, writes BI's James Rodriguez.

What homebuyers should do.

Amazon toughens up reviews

How do you measure culture? That's a question Amazon managers will now have to deal with, thanks to a new performance review process the Big Tech company is instituting.

Starting this mid-year review cycle, Amazon managers will use a three-tier system to rank how employees demonstrate the company's core values, which it calls Leadership Principles, in their work, per an internal memo seen by BI's Eugene Kim.

It's the first time company culture is formally part of reviews.

Hot spots in the Hamptons

The Hamptons have long been a favorite summer outpost for Wall Street's bankers and traders. BI spoke to current and former finance industry professionals, as well as some Hamptons locals and business proprietors, to find the buzziest spots out east.

Montauk's Surf Lodge was the most mentioned, but insiders also named scene-y restaurants like Le Bilboquet and low-key sites like Shinnecock, an ultra-exclusive golf club.

See the list.

This week's quote:

"You are in a job interview for the whole internship."

— Wendy Lewis, managing partner of KPMG's Richmond, Virginia office, on her advice for Big Four summer interns looking to stand out.

More of this week's top reads:

• Everyone is saying AI will reshape banking. A new report forecasts exactly how much.
• 4 signs the economy is in worse shape than we thought.
• What Diddy's guilty verdict and civil suits mean for his net worth, music catalog, and brands.
• Generative AI is making running an online business a nightmare.
• Most Americans aren't paying attention to a key part of retirement that has nothing to do with investing.
• Leaked docs show how Meta is training its chatbots to message you first, remember your chats, and keep you talking.
• 4 ways Trump's 'big beautiful' tax bill could affect your wallet.

• ChatGPT has entered the group text.

  ---

  The BI Today team: Jamie Heller, editor in chief, in New York. Lisa Ryan, executive editor, in New York. Akin Oyedele, deputy editor, in New York. Grace Lett, editor, in New York. Amanda Yen, associate editor, in New York.

• Antara Dave was hired by Microsoft after initially being rejected a year earlier.
• She improved her design skills and gained experience at Home Depot before reapplying.
• Dave emphasized critical thinking and AI knowledge for aspiring Microsoft designers.

This is an as-told-to interview based on a conversation with Antara Dave, a senior product designer at Microsoft who leads user experience for AI tools. She's worked at the company since 2022. This story has been edited for length and clarity.

Microsoft was and still is my dream company.

I applied one year before I got this job and was rejected. They gave some basic feedback on what I needed to learn, so I focused on that. I switched jobs at the company I was working, Home Depot, to get more of the real experience in design they were looking for.

When I applied again a year later, I did not have any referrals inside the company. I just applied to the Microsoft portal and got a call and went from there. After an initial job interview with the manager, I was brought in for a full interview day that lasted around five hours.

There was a one-hour interview where I presented my work to a bunch of people on the team, around 20 people. They also asked me questions about my project to understand how I made those design decisions. They wanted to learn how I approach and think about problems. There were a lot of questions on accessibility as well, because inclusivity is a big part of Microsoft, and they want to make sure that all the products that we make are accessible for all types of people.

The other three or four hours were one-on-one interviews with people in various roles. The last interview I had was with the "principal researcher" to make sure I matched up with their expectations. It was very raw and very honest. They want to know your personality and what things you have faced in the past.

They also dug deeper into my core values to ensure that aligned with the company. I've found Microsoft values diversity and inclusion, curiosity, good communication, collaboration, and accountability. Without curiosity, you are not going to learn. You also have to be very collaborative and friendly with each other. And of course, you are going to make mistakes, but you're expected to be humble and accountable.

What I did right during the interview

I actually enjoyed the entire interviewing process with Microsoft, and everyone was really friendly. But I was very nervous at the start because it was my dream company. As the interview process went by, I got more and more comfortable because it was not just them asking me questions. I was also asking them questions to learn about the company, the projects, the people, and the culture of the team.

One thing I did very well was my portfolio presentation because I had a lot of good visuals. There's a very good way to explain your thinking behind your projects with a lot of visual storytelling, starting with what the problem is, then how you tried to solve that problem, and what was the impact of the solution that you brought on. Was there any revenue impact or usability impact that improved? Showing the impact of a project matters more than anything.

I also think showcasing your personality and never hiding who you are helps. I was very authentic to who I am during the interview. They just want to see who you are.

One of my questions was, "Has there been a time where you were given critical feedback?" When I was at Home Depot, I had just joined the corporate world, and I was a little shy in expressing my ideas. After my initial few months, I was told, "You have great inputs, but you never share those. Why don't you share more?" So I told the interviewer at Microsoft how I handled that: I started raising my hand. I had one-on-one meetings with people so that I could be more comfortable sharing my insights and ideas.

They truly wanted to understand whether I'm aware of my strengths and weaknesses and how I'm working towards that, so I told them.

Advice for others who want to work at Microsoft

For others who want to get a job as a designer at Microsoft, develop your critical thinking skills. Design without critical thinking just becomes decoration. Design with critical thinking becomes impact.

I have a master's degree in engineering. Having any higher degree helps you build critical thinking because you are involved in all these complex projects. My ability to question and being OK with complexity, being uncomfortable, all of it is because I have been conditioned that way in my master's, because things were difficult and you had to find solutions and you had to talk with people.

In the era of AI, having knowledge of AI and LLMs is core now. You should also learn to "vibe code," which relies on AI to produce code. You don't necessarily need to know coding, but you need to know how to talk with an AI chatbot and know exactly how to give the right prompt.

The AI world is moving very fast, and everyone who wants to join Microsoft should start playing with all the different AI tools that are out there.

Do you have a story to share about your career or landing your dream job? Contact this reporter at [email protected].

• Chickpeas are rich in plant compounds that can lower your cholesterol.
• People who ate a cup of chickpeas per day for 12 weeks lowered their cholesterol to healthy levels.
• Here are some of the cheapest, easiest recipes they used.

Turns out, not all beans are created equal.

While black beans seem to be great at fighting low-grade chronic inflammation, chickpeas are more of a cholesterol-lowering powerhouse, according to recent research from Illinois Institute of Technology.

In a three-month study, researchers asked a group of roughly 24 prediabetic people to eat a cup of black beans every day, while another group of 24 with prediabetes was given chickpeas. In a third control group, participants cooked white rice.

By the end of just 12 weeks, the researchers noticed significant differences in inflammation levels for the black bean eaters, while chickpea eaters had a greater effect on their total cholesterol, moving from at risk (with an average total cholesterol around 200 mg/dL) into a heart-healthy range (186 mg/dL).

Chickpeas have cholesterol-lowering power

The reason why different beans house different health benefits probably has to do with the chemicals that color them and make each bean unique.

While the phytochemicals that make black beans black are known to have more anti-inflammatory properties, golden chickpeas have more of other plant chemicals called phytosterols, which are cholesterol-lowering compounds.

This is why nutrition buffs often recommend eating a wide variety of different colored plants, including fruits, vegetables, beans and whole grains. By eating a rich diversity of colorful whole foods, you'll enjoy the complex natural "food matrix" found inside each one, lead researcher Indika Edirisinghe told Business Insider.

"It contains protein, it contains lipid, it contains fiber, vitamins, minerals," and different combinations of each from bean to bean, he said. "Somebody can synthesize artificial bean by adding all the nutrients, but I don't think you're going to get the same effect."

Registered dietician Joel Ramdial, who was not involved with this study, is the director of nutrition at Southeast Missouri State University's department of sport sciences. He told BI that beans are one of the most dense and varied sources of dietary fiber you can find, making them a great ingredient to mix into your next meal.

"You can blend them up and mix them into things, you can roast," he said. "You can put them in soups, you can mix them into sauces."

In order to make it easier on research participants to include a cup of chickpeas per day in their diets, Edirisinghe and his team equipped their study volunteers with canned chickpeas, a measuring cup, and several easy recipes.

Here are 5 chickpea recipes scientists recommend to lower cholesterol:

Cool ranch chickpeas

Ingredients:

• 2 15 oz. cans of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 1/2 cup of extra virgin olive oil
• 2 tbsp. of ranch seasoning

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400F
2. Dry chickpeas well with paper towels
3. Spread onto a large baking sheet in an even layer
4. Bake until golden and crisp, 30 minutes
5. In a large bowl, toss the hot chickpeas with oil and seasoning
6. Spread out onto the baking sheet and bake for five more minutes
7. Remove from the oven. Chickpeas will continue to crisp as they cool.

Tomato cucumber feta salad with chickpeas

Ingredients:

• 1 15 oz. can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 1 large cucumber, chopped
• 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, preferably multi-colored, halved
• 1/2 white onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup of feta cheese
• 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil
• 2 tbsp. of red wine vinegar
• Salt
• Pepper
• 2 tbsp. of fresh cilantro, chopped

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, combine the cucumber, tomato, chickpeas, and onion
2. In a small bowl, whisk together the oil and vinegar. Season with salt and pepper. Add to the large bowl and toss to combine.

3. Top with feta and cilantro

Honey sesame chickpeas

Ingredients:

• 1 15 oz. can of chickpeas
• 1 small onion, diced
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup of honey
• 1/3 cup of soy sauce
• 2 tbsp. of toasted sesame oil
• 1 tbsp. of rice wine vinegar
• 2 tbsp. of vegetable oil
• 1/4 tsp. of crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 tsp. of fresh grated ginger
• Cooked rice, for serving
• Sesame seeds and sliced scallions, for garnish

Directions:

1. Put the diced onion, minced garlic, honey, soy sauce, sesame oil, vinegar, vegetable oil, red pepper flakes and ginger in a medium saucepan.
2. Add some water and bring to a boil
3. Reduce to simmer and cook for five to 10 minutes, until slightly thick
4. Add the chickpeas and return to a boil
5. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 10 minutes, until chickpeas are coated and sauce is thick

6. Serve over cooked rice, and garnish with the sesame seeds and sliced scallions, if desired

Chickpeas with leeks and lemon

Ingredients:

• 2 cups of chickpeas
• 4 leeks
• 1/2 lemon
• 1 branch of fresh rosemary
• 1 clove of garlic
• 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil
• Salt

Directions:

1. In a large skillet, heat the olive oil, garlic, and rosemary over medium heat
2. Once the garlic turns fragrant and the rosemary starts to sizzle, remove the rosemary and set it aside
3. Add the leeks to the pan, along with a good pinch of salt
4. Cook, stirring often, until the leeks are soft and sweet but still green, around five to eight minutes
5. Add in the chickpeas, and continue to cook, turning the beans in the oil, for five more minutes. The chickpeas should darken slightly in color.
6. Using a microplane or zester, add a few scrapes of lemon zest into the pan, plus a squeeze of lemon juice
7. Stir to combine
8. Season to taste with lemon juice, zest, or salt as needed

Roasted chickpea gyros

Ingredients:

• 1 15 oz. can of chickpeas
• 4 pita flatbreads
• 1 cup of tzatziki sauce
• 2 lettuce leaves, roughly chopped
• 1 tomato, sliced
• 1/4 red onion, cut into strips
• 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1 tbsp. of paprika
• 1 tsp of black pepper
• 1/4 tsp of salt

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400F
2. Pat the chickpeas dry with paper towels, removing any skins that come off
3. In a large bowl, gently toss the chickpeas with the oil, paprika, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and salt
4. Spread the chickpeas onto a greased, rimmed baking sheet and roast for roughly 20 minutes, until lightly brown but not hard
5. Spread tzatziki on one side of the pita bread, then sprinkle in 1/4 of the chickpeas, and add your veggies
6. Fold and enjoy!

• When I was younger, I told myself that if I didn't have kids by 25, I wouldn't have them.
• All the women in my life had been young moms, and I wanted to be a young mom, too.
• I ended up having my kids at 37 and 40, and I now see the benefits of being an older parent.

From the time I started playing with dolls, I wanted to have babies of my own. By the time I was 15, I knew I wanted to be a young mom. I told myself that if I didn't have babies by the age of 25, I wouldn't have children.

When I was born, my father was a few weeks shy of his 25th birthday. By then, he already had a Ph.D. and a steady job as a college professor. My mother was 20 and a stay-at-home mom. Having children young and the roles they played in our family, as well as my father's professional stability, were not uncommon for their generation.

My parents divorced when I was 5, and my younger sister and I were raised by my dad. Eventually, my father remarried to a woman who was only 10 years older than I am, and they had two more children; my stepmother was also in her early 20s when she had my brother and sister.

My grandmother, who helped raise me, had also been a young mother. So to me, it made sense to follow in all these women's footsteps. Back the, being 30 sounded ancient to me. I didn't want a big generational gap between my children and me.

I was in my early 30s, childless and single, and still pining to be a mom

Through most of my 20s, I was in a long-term relationship with a man 11 years my senior who had two kids of his own. He wasn't partial to having more children, but I was young and naive and, of course, I was sure I could change his mind. Instead, we broke up.

Suddenly, I found myself single and childless in my early 30s. I dated around and had a few short-term relationships, but the desire to have babies did not wane one bit. At one point, I told my grandmother that I didn't care whether I adopted, did IVF, or got pregnant inadvertently. I wanted babies, and I wanted them now.

Then I met a guy four years younger than me who seemed like a breath of fresh air — no ex-wives, no kids, no bitterness. My biological clock was not just ticking; it was ringing the alarm! So, a year late, we got married, and a year after that, we decided to try to conceive.

It took a while, but I finally had my first baby just a few months shy of my 38th birthday. My second came when I was almost 41. Although both pregnancies were considered geriatric, I didn't feel I was "too old" during either pregnancy, and I was perfectly happy chasing toddlers in my 40s.

The advantages of being an older parent

Though 25 was my initial cut-off to have kids, I wouldn't have been ready by then. I had been battling bulimia for 10 years and was also suffering from bouts of depression. It took me another decade to sort myself out through therapy, 12-step groups, and medication.

When I started trying to conceive, I was in the best shape of my life, and I took excellent care of myself during both pregnancies. Looking back, I feel I was a much more responsible and aware parent than I would have been in my 20s.

My parents' divorce affected me deeply throughout my life. When I had to make my own tough call of filing for divorce, I did it with the utmost care, keeping our children in mind.

I'm 61 now, and my children are 24 and 21. Although I am much older than they are, I feel the generational gap between us is smaller than what my father and I had. I realize now that he never really had time to be young, while it took me a long time to become a mature, conscious adult.

My only regret is that I may not be around for my children when they're my age, while I still have my dad. He and I now enjoy a close relationship: we talk several times a week and spend quality time together when I come to visit. Then again, my grandmother lived to be 102, so who knows?

• Comedian Alison Leiby shared an email she once received from Vogue's Anna Wintour with no subject.
• Leiby said the lack of a subject line was stressful, but it was still "the best email" of her life.
• You might want to hold off on doing the same in your professional communications, experts told BI.

Alison Leiby remembers feeling her heart beat harder when she saw the email without a subject line appear on her phone.

It was from Anna Wintour, longtime editor of American Vogue.

As Leiby tapped on the message and waited for it to load, she felt a bolt of anxiety and thought, "Oh, God. What is about to happen?"

To her relief, Wintour's two-sentence message offered congratulations on a one-woman, off-Broadway show Leiby created and starred in. Wintour had been in the audience on opening night in May 2022, Leiby told Business Insider.

While she didn't need to worry about the contents of the message, Leiby nevertheless found it unnerving to receive an email sans subject line — especially from the doyen of fashion.

"In a professional context, it's genuinely terrifying because the door is open for it to be anything," said Leiby, a comedian whose writing credits include the TV series "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel."

It's been reported that Wintour, who recently said she would give up her role as editor in chief of the American fashion glossy to devote more time to other responsibilities at the magazine and its parent company, sometimes sends emails without subject lines.

Despite Leiby's initial anxiety about the message, she later posted a screenshot of the email on social media, describing it as "the best email of my life."

A representative for Vogue didn't respond to a request for comment from BI about the message to Leiby or Wintour's email practices.

While leaving the subject line blank might work for some leaders —especially busy ones — workplace observers told BI that it's often a good idea to include one in business communications.

Picking the right subject line

Kathleen Schmidt, a publishing consultant in New York City, forces herself to add a subject line to most client emails she sends, even though she "hates" having to summarize a message with a title.

"They're just impossible to come up with sometimes," Schmidt told BI.

So, for less formal communications with colleagues, she'll often omit them. Schmidt sometimes does the same with friends or her husband — a practice that Schmidt said "drives him nuts."

"It's from me. What do you think it's going to say? Like, 'We won a million dollars?'" Schmidt said.

Thinking about your audience

Barring a life-changing financial windfall, including a subject line for work communications is often beneficial because it can help people suss out what's most pressing, Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of etiquette authority Emily Post and coauthor of the book "Emily Post's Business Etiquette," told BI.

Those keywords can help people categorize a message and provide insights into its significance, she said.

"It's really important, I think, for the vast majority of us," Post said. "But I'm also a Vogue devotee. I will not go against the queen."

Kate Walker, a human resources consultant and executive coach in California, offered a similar assessment. Even though the summaries can be annoying, they have a purpose, Walker told BI.

"When I'm writing a subject line, I need to think about my audience," she said. "We're competing for people's time."

Leiby, the comedian, said that working as a performer and writer means she's grown accustomed to getting rejection emails. Even seeing an email from someone she'd interviewed with for a job can be nerve-racking, Leiby said.

Yet, when a message arrives without a subject, "your heart stops for a minute," she said.

"You're like, 'Oh, God, is this about to change my life in a good way or a bad way?'" Leiby said.

• I'm 40, and I'll never stop making new friends.
• I have friends of all ages and with different interests, and I cherish them all.
• I've realized that authenticity is the key to forming genuine relationships.

At 40, I have a beautiful circle of friends who range in age from their early 30s to 97, and I don't feel like I'll ever be done making new connections.

Meeting new people and being exposed to different viewpoints and experiences is something I live for. Maybe it's the journalist in me, but I've always been interested in other people's stories. I enjoy nothing more than getting to know someone and seeing what I can learn from them.

I've gotten better at making friends over the years

Looking back, I wasn't always like this. In high school, I was a bit of a loner. I had one close friend whom I tended to stick with. Later, in college, I made a small group of girlfriends whom I adored, but I was never rolling in it in terms of friendships.

Living and working overseas in my 20s helped build my confidence in meeting new people. I interacted with travelers from all over the globe and quickly learned how to find common ground with people from different walks of life.

But I think the real turning point was moving from Melbourne, Australia, to country Victoria three years ago. The town where we live has a population of less than 3,000 people, and I vowed not to be lonely after relocating to such a small community.

So, I made it my mission to put myself out there. Whenever I met someone I had something in common with, I'd initiate a catch-up. Even if I didn't have much in common with them, if I thought they could be fun or interesting, I'd put the offer on the table.

"Hey, would you like to go for a coffee or a hike?" I'd ask. Internally, often those earlier fears of mine would emerge. What if they thought I was weird or too forthcoming? However, more often than not, I found their answer was resoundingly 'yes.'

With time, I became more blatant about it. I remember meeting one of my husband's clients and instantly feeling a connection with his wife. "I really like you," I said. "Let's be friends." She laughed, and that was it. We've been buddies ever since.

I'm intentional about keeping my old connections strong as I form new ones

Most of my friendships are with other parents from the school or daycare community — having that common denominator of kids makes it easy to build rapport. But I also have friends outside that group. I have friends I hike or travel with, and I have single and child-free friends who are in a completely different phase of life.

As my friendship circle has grown, I try to remember to foster my old friendships, too. I have some special long-time friends who mean the world to me, and I regularly check in on them. Sometimes, we'll talk for hours over the phone, and it feels like no time has passed between catch-ups.

One thing I've realized is that authenticity is key to forming genuine connections. If you don't let down your walls, it's harder to connect with others on a deeper level.

In that spirit, earlier this year I decided to do something a little out there. I hosted a ladies' night at my place and called it 'Dessert with a side of woo-woo.' I wasn't sure how it would go, and I know that some of the women who were invited were wondering what the hell was in store for them.

On the big night, I asked everyone to select a talking point card from a jar. The questions ranged from playful to really deep, and sometimes painful. There were tears and plenty of laughter. Later that night, we all made dream boards with our goals and aspirations for the year.

Afterward, many of the women told me how much the evening had meant to them. I think people are frequently sick of the small talk and are seeking deeper, more meaningful conversations that are raw and real.

I know that making friends isn't easy for everyone — I used to feel that way, too. But if you are open to it, I challenge you to put yourself out there and ask the question. "How about a coffee?" You might be pleasantly surprised, just as I was.

• When I was 23 I agreed to an arranged marriage with a man who was eight years older than me.
• Through the years, I've realized that our differences are what makes us a strong couple.
• We've learned how to live and grow together, lessons I hope our kids are learning, too.

At 23, while finishing my MBA, I agreed to an arranged marriage. My husband was eight years older, and we didn't know each other well when we said yes. There was no dramatic love story — just mutual respect, family introductions, and a quiet decision to give this partnership a chance.

In many ways, we approached life very differently. He's Gen X. I'm a millennial, the kind whose energy leans into Gen Z territory. I was full of ambition — constantly planning, striving, measuring progress in visible ways. My husband had ambition too, but his was quieter, more inward. He wasn't chasing milestones like I was; he valued stability and contentment. I'm expressive, quick to react, and constantly questioning things. He's quieter, more rooted in a time where people didn't always talk about their feelings or challenge every rule.

The generational gap isn't dramatic, but it shows at times. I see it in how we argue, how we manage stress, and how we make decisions. I was the kind of person who tracked everything including our kids' grades, the car we drove, the schools we applied to. I had a plan, and I wanted it to unfold just right. He was fine if it didn't. For a long time, I assumed we had to think alike to connect. But I've come to see that it's our contrast, not our similarity, that makes us stronger.

He helped me slow down

My husband brought a kind of composure to my life that I didn't know I needed. He never dismissed my drive, but he reminded me (always gently) that it was okay not to control every outcome.That kids didn't have to score at least 90% on every exam. That missing out on a particular milestone wasn't a crisis.

He didn't ask me to dim my ambition. He just helped me see that not everything in life had to be a race, something to win, control, or finish quickly. And that was a kind of freedom I didn't realize I was missing.

We love differently — and that's okay

I've always expressed emotions loudly, whether it's joy or frustration. My husband is more reserved. For years, I mistook his silence for detachment. I couldn't understand why he didn't or wouldn't match my intensity.

One day, during an argument, he held me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye, and said quietly, "Please understand. I'm not a woman. I don't process things the way you do. I never will." It wasn't an excuse. It was a truth.

That moment shifted something for me. His way of feeling wasn't smaller, just quieter. And once I stopped looking for a mirror, I started noticing the ways he did show love in steadiness and in small, consistent acts.

We've learned how to disagree without disconnecting

We've been married for 18 years and still argue — sometimes often. We parent differently. We see priorities through different lenses. There are days we get on each other's nerves, and days we can't stop laughing. But we've figured out how to disagree without tearing things apart. We give each other space. We pick our battles. We move on.

Love isn't always a steady flame. Sometimes it flickers. Sometimes it flares. But we've kept it lit — not through grand gestures, but through a quiet, daily commitment to keep showing up. He grounds me when I spiral. I push him to open up when he retreats.

When I'm overwhelmed, he brings calm. When he's tired or stretched thin, I step in often handling the emotional load, daily logistics, and sometimes even the smaller financial extras. I'm usually the one managing football lessons, birthday parties, and spontaneous pizza nights. He takes care of other the bigger responsibilities like managing household bills, school fees, and making sure things keep running smoothly at home and beyond.

Our children are watching

Nearly 18 years and three kids later, I hope our children see something valuable in what we've built. They've grown up witnessing our dynamic up close — two people with very different views learning how to live and grow together.

What I hope they carry with them is simple but lasting: that love and respect can exist even when opinions differ. And when they're with their own partners one day, I hope they know it's okay to think differently, to see the world through different lenses.

We see the world differently — and maybe that's exactly why we work. Like puzzle pieces that don't look alike but fit together, we fill in each other's gaps to make something whole.

I now believe that's what a lasting marriage is: not perfect harmony, but a shared rhythm. Sometimes clumsy, sometimes graceful, but always grounded in trust, mutual respect, and the quiet choice to stay in it, together.