• Marianna Sachse, 45, is an American who gave birth to her second child in the Netherlands.
• She noticed that strangers would intervene to give her advice or help watch her kids.
• Overall, she liked that the culture was more focused on collectively raising kids.

One of my first enduring memories of the Netherlands was a stranger asking to cradle my baby.

Months after my family relocated from Philadelphia to Maastricht, a small Dutch city, we went out to eat. I was six weeks postpartum after having my second child. My husband, six-year-old son, newborn, and I shared a communal table with an older couple, who had finished their meals.

The woman chatted with her husband, then turned to us. Would we like for them to hold our baby so we could take a break?

At first, I thought it was odd. Raising my first infant in the US, I never encountered someone I'd never met before offering to help like this. Still, I wanted to lean into a new culture. It was remembering my own mother, who loved kids and died a few years prior. I thought, "This woman seems just like her." I inherently trusted this woman I'd never met before.

I gave her my baby. "I'll hand him back when he gets fussy," she said. My husband and I ate in a moment of peace, with our son staring up at this stranger lovingly holding his brother.

In the four years we lived in the Netherlands, we learned that this is more of a parenting norm than a random act of kindness. I regularly witnessed adults intervening to help parents out, whether by watching their kids or giving tips.

Now, living in Washington, DC, I miss this part of Dutch culture. It helped me become a happier and more relaxed parent, and my kids become more independent.

Raising kids is a collective effort

When my husband was recruited to work in a Dutch firm in 2016, I was nervous about relocating while I was pregnant. My doctor reassured me: I couldn't pick a better country for childbirth, he said.

I learned he was right. The Netherlands is famous for its "kraamzorg" or doula system, where parents can buy doula packages before, during, or after giving birth. For our home birth and eight days of very involved, in-home postpartum care, we paid under $2,000.

Doulas in the Netherlands not only care for the baby but also the mother, looking out for medical complications and offering guidance for first-time parents. They also find small ways to make parents more comfortable. Ours also vacuumed our house, walked our dog, and took the baby so I could shower. To me, the lack of privacy was worth getting so much support.

I quickly saw that this community-centered attitude toward childcare extends beyond childbirth. I regularly witnessed other parents jumping in to supervise kids on the playground or play with them.

Sometimes, they would chime in to give me advice. When I rode bikes with my older son, I learned that the Dutch consider it safest to stay next to your child, not behind them, as I initially did. A stranger taught me that I should ride with one hand on my child to teach them how to stay in the bike lane properly.

As a parent in the Netherlands, it's normal to accept help — even in the form of mild critique.

Fewer screens in restaurants

Another striking difference I noticed in the Netherlands is how kids seemed to be truly seen as members of society — and were accommodated as such.

Almost every restaurant we went to, including upscale ones with white tablecloths, had a designated corner for kids to play in. It can include toys or coloring books, and sometimes adults even volunteer to play with the kids. It's easy for parents to watch their children from afar while also unwinding at dinner.

Everywhere we went understood that kids have lots of energy and can't sit at a table or in a high chair for that long. Striking this compromise helped us, and other parents, bring our kids to public spaces without feeling overwhelmed by tantrums. Back in the US, I'd tag-team with friends to take turns walking our kids outside when they inevitably needed to move. It was manageable, but not exactly relaxing.

Other American parents mitigate meltdowns by giving their kids tablets or phones. In the Netherlands, I saw fewer screens at restaurants because parents had other means to keep their kids happy. It was nice to go out and know that if our kids got tired of sitting with the adults, they could go color and play with other kids instead of watching YouTube.

Parents can relax more

Because raising kids is seen as a community effort, there were times when parents would discipline strangers' kids if they witnessed them being mean to another child or behaving poorly in public. The Dutch will call your kid out if they're being rude or unkind toward others. They might also correct you as a parent.

I loved it. As an American, there have been times when I've wondered where a kid's parent is or why they're hitting other children. I would be terrified to say something in the US. It's just not a norm, and I feel like I could put my safety at risk by interjecting.

In the US, our self-sufficiency gives us the freedom to make our own decisions, whether we choose gentle parenting or homeschooling. It also comes with downsides.

In our small Dutch city, I was laid back when my seven-year-old son walked home alone from school because I knew that if he was in an unsafe situation, an adult would help. In the US, it's not uncommon for parents to be nervous about their 12-year-olds hanging out in the neighborhood by themselves. There's a lot less trust, and with that, kids are less independent.

We eventually moved back to the US to be closer to family. During my time in the Netherlands, I learned a great parenting lesson: when we're willing to let others into our parenting space, everybody wins.

• A woman is suing a fertility clinic after doctors transferred another couple's embryo into her uterus.
• A DNA test proved the baby belonged to another couple using the clinic's services.
• The woman raised and bonded with the baby for months then lost custody.

Krystena Murray knew something was wrong the moment she first saw her baby.

Murray, 38, is a white woman who elected to have a white sperm donor for her IVF procedure. She gave birth to a baby boy in late December 2023. Her baby was Black.

After taking a DNA test and reaching out to her fertility clinic, she learned that another couple's embryo was transferred into her uterus.

While she fell in love with her newborn, and bonded with him, he wasn't genetically hers. Within five months, she lost full custody of the child to his legal parents — another couple at the clinic.

"I've never felt so violated," Murray, who is suing Coastal Fertility Specialists in Savannah, Georgia, said in a press conference with Peiffer Wolf, the firm representing her.

She said she felt "emotionally and physically broken" after having to give up a child who, until he was born, she believed was hers, and one she grew attached to ever since.

5 months of bonding

Murray had wanted a child for a long time. She'd found a sperm donor — a white man who, like her, had blue eyes and dirty blonde hair — to create embryos.

The moment she delivered the little boy, she felt conflicted. She'd carried him to term and delivered him. As she cuddled him and breast-fed him, she felt a deep sense of bonding.

"The birth of my child was supposed to be the happiest moment of my life, and honestly it was," she told reporters on Tuesday. "It was also the scariest moment of my life."

She had questions about their unexplained racial difference and didn't know what to do. Murray said she didn't post photos on social media or let her loved ones meet her child because she knew they'd have questions, too. Every time the doorbell rang, she worried it was someone coming to take her child away, she said.

A month after giving birth, she got the results of a DNA test she requested. It confirmed what she feared: she was not related to the baby.

The biological parents sued Murray for custody

By March 2024, the clinic realized the wrong embryo had been transferred. Coastal Fertility Specialists contacted the genetic parents of Murray's baby, who sued Murray for custody. Murray hired legal help in multiple states to fight the lawsuit.

Another DNA test confirmed that the couple was related to the baby. Murray's legal team advised her to give up custody, knowing she would lose the family-law case. She gave up the baby in May 2024 and hasn't seen him since.

Murray said the emotional aftermath has been difficult for her. "To carry a baby, fall in love with him, deliver him, and build the uniquely special bond between mother and baby, all to have him taken away," she said. "I'll never fully recover from this."

While the experience made her wary of undergoing IVF again, Murray is currently undergoing the process again at a different clinic.

"I'm hoping to continue my journey to be a mom in the next year or two," she said.

Business Insider has contacted Coastal Fertility Specialists for comment.

Fertility clinic mishaps

This isn't the first time a fertility clinic is at the center of a major lawsuit. In January, a couple sued a clinic after an error in the IVF process destroyed their embryos.

Other high-profile lawsuits involved a woman learning her mother's fertility doctor was her father and patients suing a clinic after a tank malfunctioned and destroyed 3,500 frozen eggs and embryos.

In a press conference, Wolf said he's represented clients of Coastal Fertility Specialists whose embryos were dropped on the ground or had embryos mixed with the wrong sperm or eggs.

This is the first time Wolf's firm has sued Coastal Fertility Specialists.

• Emily San José, 34, raised her first child in Oregon where she was a middle school teacher.
• Her family moved to Spain when her second child was four months old.
• She prefers living in Spain because of lower childcare costs and a more kid-friendly culture.

When I lived in the US, my C-section scar hadn't fully healed when I had to return to work after giving birth to my son. Now that my family lives in Spain, I can't believe I went through that.

In 2017, I was a middle school teacher in Oregon. I worked up until a few days before my delivery and took 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave.

Things weren't easier as he got older. Like many American parents, we struggled with costs like childcare, which only increased when we had our daughter in 2021 and our daycare costs more than doubled.

A few months after she was born, a new opportunity arose: our family could move to Spain. My husband's job was expanding to Europe, and we saw this as an opportunity to move closer to his family.

So, when my daughter was four months old, our family of five relocated to Madrid. Caring for a baby in each country, the differences are striking. While I miss a few things about the US, Spain makes raising kids so much easier and more affordable for families.

I wish I'd given birth in Spain

While I never gave birth in Spain, I've spoken to many moms who have. It's unheard of for pregnant women to work up until the last minute, as I did. In Spain, women usually take the last month as leave.

Postpartum maternity leave is also longer in Spain. The US is the only developed country not to offer guaranteed paid parental leave. In Spain, everyone, including fathers, is given 16 weeks of parental leave. In addition to being fully paid, the money isn't taxed, so parents receive even more money than in their usual paychecks during that time as a way to support families.

When they return to work, mothers get an hour a day of "lactation leave," guaranteed by federal law, until their child is nine months old. If a mother has kids under 12, she can also opt to request working reduced hours (with a pay cut).

Having so much flexibility means parents get to spend more time with their kids in the first few months of their lives. I wish I had more of that time with my kids when they were born in the US.

Childcare is much more affordable

When we lived in the US, we spent $1,800 on daycare per month for our son. When we had our daughter, we added on $1,900 for her spot, a little extra because she was an infant. That brought our monthly daycare costs to $3,700 — more than our mortgage. Being on a teacher's salary and not making that much, I sometimes wondered if I should drop out of the workforce and become a stay-at-home mom instead of spending the money on daycare.

While daycare isn't free in Spain, it's a lot more affordable. We paid €500 for our daughter. For our son, who was old enough to start going to school, we chose to put him in the same private school his older brother attended, which cost €300. For two young children, the total costs were €800, or around $830 a month, which was easier for us to swing even with me taking a pay cut.

Additionally, families with three or more children are entitled to a Tarjeta Familia Numerosa, or "Large Family Card." This card has given us many discounts, including on train tickets, groceries, electricity and water bills, and passport renewals. It helps us prevent small costs from snowballing.

In Spain, kids are part of adult society

Spain feels more family-friendly than the US because children are more integrated into adult society. While there are still some child-focused activities like zoos and birthday parties, it's much more normal to see children in adult spaces like bars and restaurants.

This starts at school. Spanish school lunches include more adult meals like a vegetable purée appetizer, a main like chicken or fish with rice or potatoes, and then fruit or yogurt for dessert. The kids are also taught table manners. Not only are they less picky — my three-year-old now likes salads! — but it's easier to bring kids to restaurants because they know how to behave in public. It's very common for kids to join their parents for dinner, staying up late with the grown-ups.

Adults, in turn, seem more accepting of kids in public spaces here than in the US. If a young child is experiencing a tantrum on the street, parents don't rush as much to quiet them; it's accepted that small kids have lots of emotions and need to express them.

I experienced the opposite when we visited Oregon this past Christmas break. I took my daughter to see "The Nutcracker" with my friend and her daughter, who is around the same age as mine. We took them to a coffee shop before the show, and the girls were excited and dancing around. A man looked agitated, so we told them to keep it down. When he got up to leave, he muttered "brats" at them.

It was such an eye-opening experience. While not everyone in America is like that man, adults in Europe seem more tolerant of kids. Sure, parents step in when their children are misbehaving. There's also a cultural understanding that kids are kids and that they belong in public spaces, too.

Spain isn't perfect, but it's easier for families

Other than my family in Oregon, I miss certain conveniences of living in the US. It's so easy to pick up last-minute items from Target or have something delivered via Instacart, especially as a working mom.

As an immigrant, I also find it challenging to navigate the bureaucracy in Spain. Luckily, I used to live in Spain when I was younger, so I had some experience, and my husband and stepson are originally from Spain and can help me. Still, government paperwork can be more daunting than in the States. The experience even inspired me to cofound a company called Mother Euro to help American mothers deal with similar challenges when they move to Europe.

Overall, I'm grateful that we moved to Spain when we did. We have an easier time as parents, and it's great to live in a society that prioritizes families.

• Chris Bustamante is an aesthetic nurse practitioner and owner of Lushful Aesthetics in NYC.
• He said there's been a rise in demand for male enhancement services like penis and scrotum filler.
• He also said he's had more clients come in for revisions for botched penis filler.

Three to four times a day, Chris Bustamante schedules time to talk to his clients about how they want their penis to look.

His midtown Manhattan clinic, Lushful Aesthetics, offers plenty of what Bustamante calls "bread-and-butter" beauty services like facial fillers and chemical peels. Yet the true growth of his business lies in penis filler. In 2024, the procedure accounted for over 40% of Lushful Aesthetic's $3 million revenue.

They're not alone.

Interest in penis enlargement has been booming. Multiple cosmetic surgeons told Allure in 2023 that penis filler is now their most popular procedure. Dr. David Shafer, a plastic surgeon in New York, told GQ in 2023 that his penis filler clients have grown from one or two a week to four or five a day. He now dedicates an entire floor of his clinic strictly to penis filler services.

When Bustamante, a doctor of nursing practice, opened his clinic in 2022, the only male enhancement service he offered was "Shockwave Therapy and P-Shot," which uses plasma and vacuum pump therapy to promote longer erections.

Now, he told Business Insider he does about "three penis fillers a day." His clients — typically professional men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s — pick from a menu of highly specific (and patented) enhancement procedures. They can get a thicker girth ("Girth Enhancement"), a larger scrotum ("ScroFill"), or to just be more of a shower than a grower ("ShowTox," which uses Botox to relax muscles in the penis and retain more blood when flaccid).

Many of his male clients add on body enhancement services like "instant BBLs," non-surgical butt lifts using high volumes of filler, he told BI.

Bustamente's experience reflects the recent rise in men getting beauty treatments. Between 2019 and 2022, non-invasive cosmetic procedures like fillers and Botox increased in male patients by 253%. As he sees it, it's all part of a general trend toward perfection among high-flying men.

"They're usually competitive, they want to be the best."

The men who want everything bigger

Bustamante described three main categories of male enhancement clients. There are sex workers. There are young professionals or men in their 30s and 40s who hold jobs in more creative fields like marketing. The rest, roughly half of the clients, are "high-power money-makers" — finance and real estate men in their 40s and 50s.

While most of them have average or even naturally large penises to begin with, it doesn't matter. These clients want to be "the biggest guy in the room," he said.

One recent client of Bustamante's, who works in wealth management, spent around $150,000 in three months on instant BBLs ($16,000 for 80 units or syringes), girth enhancement, and scrotum filler (each $13,500-$16,500 for 20-25 units). He did each treatment three times, building up because "he wants it to be bigger," Bustamante said. More commonly, patients will spend around $50,000 over the course of one to two years, adding more filler every six months.

Bustamante said he's had clients ask him, while he was injecting them, if this is the most filler he'd ever used. When Bustamante said he's gone higher, they'd ask him to match that number on the spot. Some clients have ended up with penises over 7.5 inches in circumference — greater than their length.

Bustamante has limits to what he'll do. "You have to look out for body dysmorphia," he said. One client he declined was a bodybuilder who used a penis pump, a common treatment for erectile dysfunction, for 40 minutes a day — going over the safe limit of 30 minutes a day. Overuse can cause swelling and severe damage, and he ended up scarring his penis, making it unsafe to inject filler. (Because of the scarring, it also wouldn't have looked good, Bustamante said).

If he notices clients booking frequent appointments to add filler, he'll insist on waiting six months before he does anything else. "We've done a lot. Enjoy it," he'll tell them. "Don't go somewhere else and try to do something and have them mess it up."

When penis filler goes wrong

The rise in penis filler popularity also means Bustamante's seen more requests for revisions after clients experienced side effects like lumping, heavy bruising, and scarring from other clinics. About 25% of his new clients come in for revisions, so much so that he officially added it as a service.

Some of the tweaks are simply cosmetic — perhaps a provider injected a penis when it was flaccid, and couldn't predict how big, small, or wonky it would look when erect. (Bustamente uses Trimix, a medication that gives men an artificial erection, before injecting.)

Other revisions are more involved. One client came to Bustamante after getting penis filler at clinics in California and Texas. In his last appointment, his penis ended up so bruised, it was black. He didn't have sex for a year. Bustamante fixed it by first dissolving all the filler and re-injecting him.

Part of the problem, Bustamante said, is that some injectors are not properly versed in the complexity of penile procedures. They may start their careers in cosmetics, performing facial filler services, and tacking on penis filler, even though it's more complicated and can be counter-intuitive.

For example, with facial filler you can inject a little bit at a time, slowly shaping a new look, he said. You don't want to do that with a penis, Bustamente said, because the penis needs to fully heal before adding more. Short bursts of filler can cause inflammation, which leads to swelling, filler migration, lumps, and pain. Instead, Bustamante prefers to inject most of the filler at once, checking in with patients three weeks later, when they should be about 90% healed.

"It's a whole different anatomy and requires really extensive experience," Bustamante said.

The healing process often involves some swelling and light bruising, but should never involve severe pain, nor should bruises be nearly black, he said.

Business continues to boom

Business continues to grow — Lushful has scaled $1 million each year since it opened. Bustamante believes having more clients makes him better at what he does. "My technique is ever-evolving," he said. He has methods for different penis shapes, whether they have a lower circumcision line or thicker foreskin, because of how the filler settles.

"If you're a hyper-critical artist, you're always looking at how you could do things better," he said. "When I do my mom's Botox, I'm like looking at her, like, 'OK, that looks good.'"

Being in a major metropolis like New York City pays dividends, too. He has returning clients fly in from other states where experienced penis filler injector pickings are slimmer — for now, anyway.

Paying tens of thousands for the perfectly crafted package might sound like a niche interest. At least anecdotally, more men do it than they care to share, Bustamente said. One of his clients, who flies in from Texas every six to eight months, had a few drinks with his friend. He opened up about getting penis filler. Turns out, his friend had tried it, too.

"It was this aha moment for them," Bustamante said. "Clearly, it's among a lot of men."

The offers and details on this page may have updated or changed since the time of publication. See our article on Business Insider for current information.

• 4 married couples shared how they manage their finances.
• Some prefer combining everything into joint accounts, while others still prefer some separation.
• All couples emphasized the importance of communication to find what works best for you.

For married couples, there's no set way to merge your finances.

Do you transfer everything into a joint bank account? Keep your money separate? Opt for a mix by pooling money for a big purchase, retirement fund, or emergency savings but keeping everything else in individual accounts?

We asked four married couples how they do it. While their methods varied — from having one big joint account to having separate "fun money" funds — every couple emphasized the importance of being transparent and communicative about money.

Durelle Bailey, 30, and Samantha Bailey, 30, combine finances but have separate "fun money" accounts.

Their professions: Durelle Bailey is a health services administrator in the Air Force and Samantha Bailey works as a recruitment marketing manager. They are also both social media influencers and run their own marketing agency.

Their incomes: They each make six figures.

Where they live: Stafford, Virginia.

Married for: Seven years.

How they split their finances: They share one main joint account for most of their central expenses. That includes a checking and savings account, as well as high-yield savings, investment, and credit card accounts.

They also have separate accounts for "fun money," Durelle told BI. "We kind of divvy out our funds to go shopping and do what we want to do." They budget about 20% of their income to fun money each month, to spend as they each decide.

Why it works for them: The Baileys opened joint checking and savings accounts early into marriage, adding all their earnings into one place. Samantha said that it taught them how to work as a team, since she is a spender while Durelle is a saver.

"Blending our finances has been really good for us because we've realized that balance is important," she said.

For example, if she goes above her fun money budget and dips into the joint savings for Sephora purchases, the joint account helps her stay accountable to larger savings goals, like future vacations.

She said it also taught Durelle, who grew up with financial instability, to "be a little bit more willing to spend and enjoy the fruits of his labor too, instead of just saving everything."

Biggest expenses: Travel and their two mortgages.

Tips they have for other couples: The Baileys hold check-ins throughout the year to discuss everything from career benchmarks to travel plans. About twice a month, they focus check-ins on money. "We review our checking accounts, our investment accounts, just to make sure that we're reaching the goals," Durelle said.

He said having structure, such as automating most of their payments, helps them stay on track with fixed costs and savings goals. "Pay yourself first, then you can have the money to do whatever you want with," he said.

Alex Payetta, 35, and Jeff Payetta, 36, joined all their accounts, which Alex manages.

Their professions: Alex Payetta is a women's life coach and Jeff Payetta owns a family cleaning chemicals and janitorial products business.

Their incomes: They each make six figures, but Alex generally makes twice as much as Jeff over the course of the year (though her income is more variable).

Where they live: Huntington Beach, California.

Married for: Five years.

How they split their finances: The Payettas fully merged all their accounts shortly after getting married. "It was a very intentional decision," Alex said.

She also manages all their money. "Jeff's in charge of cooking and I'm in charge of finances," she said. She tracks their budget and makes all of the family's financial decisions.

Why it works for them: Alex Payetta said that neither of them had any debt going into marriage and had very similar habits and goals, making it easy to combine everything.

They also find it tedious to pay each other back for their mortgage or utilities. "It seems like added work that isn't necessary, given that we're all striving toward one purpose," Jeff said.

When they bought a house two years ago, having their money all in one place also made it easier to know their budget. "If we had had everything separate, it would've been a lot harder to make a decision about what we could afford," Alex said.

Biggest expenses: The couple has two young children and are expecting a third. They said they spend about 10-12% of their income strictly on childcare expenses like a nanny. That doesn't include extracurriculars like dance class.

They also spend a lot on home expenses, their mortgage, and property taxes.

Tips they have for other couples: "Just be really open and honest and have a plan," Alex said. "I see a lot of people that don't talk about money or it makes them uncomfortable, so then they just avoid the topic completely or just kind of do whatever their partner does."

Their method works because they communicate a lot and make sure they're on the same page, she said. If money is tight, they'll make adjustments together like packing lunch instead of eating out.

Marceil Van Camp, 39, and Katy Knauff, 40, have fully separate accounts, except when it comes to their restaurant expenses.

Their professions: Katy Knauff is a chef and Marceil Van Camp is a realtor. They both own a full-service American restaurant in Seattle.

Where they live: Seattle, Washington.

Married for: Eight years.

How they split their finances: They have separate accounts for everything, including their savings accounts and retirement funds.

The only exceptions are any accounts tied to their joint restaurant business. They share a checking account, line of credit, and business credit cards. About once a week, they sit down to go over their finances. They usually spend the time reconciling their finances from the restaurant and Marceil's real estate business.

Why it works for them: "It's nice to be able to surprise one another every once in a while," Marceil said.

Just that week, Katy bought her a belt she wanted for a long time. "Had I seen that expense on our joint checking, I might've been like, 'That's not necessary.'"

Biggest expenses: "Our very old dog, she's been very expensive lately," Marceil said.

They also spend the most money on HOA fees, eating out, and travel for Marceil's real estate networking events.

Tips they have for other couples: Be consistent with how often you talk about money.

Weekly money check-ins make their money talks "easy and painless," Marceil said. "It's a constant topic, which makes it not super sensitive or concerning," she said.

Sasha Dutta, 35, and Raj Dutta, 39, mix separate and combined accounts.

Their professions: Sasha is the VP of a PR agency and Raj is a startup cofounder.

Their incomes: Sasha makes "just over" six figures and Raj makes "just under" six.

Where they live: Gainesville, Florida

Married for: Five and a half years.

How they split their finances: They have separate accounts as well as a combined checking and savings account. "Every month, we'll put a set amount into the checking account and that will pay our bills and our mortgage and all of our expenses," Sasha told BI.

Why it works for them: When they first started dating, the couple had fully independent accounts and just paid each other back for expenses like rent. Once they got married and bought a home four years ago, they found it easier to keep track of big expenses through a joint account. They use the account for their main joint purchases, like groceries and travel.

Having some separation is nice, too. "We have different spending needs, how much you want to spend on certain items compared to the other person," Raj Dutta said. They use their own accounts to buy things for themselves.

Biggest expenses: Their mortgage and weekly groceries.

Tips they have for other couples: Talk through what works for you, not other couples. "We know of our friends who have joined accounts and pulled everything together in their checkings and savings," Raj said. "That works for them perfectly. But for us, it works for us in a different way."

• Megan Zuckerman, 30, went sober in February 2023 after trying Damp January.
• While she went sober for health reasons, she noticed a positive change in her skin, too.
• Her face is less puffy and not drinking also helps her stick to a nighttime routine.

When I wanted to cut down on drinking in 2023, I never thought I could go fully sober. I opted to try Damp January instead of Dry January, wanting to give myself the option of imbibing if I wanted to.

I only had two drinks that month, a change from my routine of socially drinking every weekend plus on a weeknight or two. Even without being officially sober, I felt a huge difference in my health that month: I slept better and had more energy.

After my almost-sober month, I had three glasses of champagne in one day and couldn't fall asleep. As I was lying in bed, I remembered how good I felt when I didn't drink. I decided to go fully sober this time.

While I was motivated to cut alcohol for health reasons, I noticed a positive perk a few months into sobriety: my skin looked better. The issues I was always struggling with, like falling asleep with my makeup on or feeling like my face looked puffy, went away.

Glowy skin is not the main reason I've stayed sober for two years; it's just one of the many upsides.

I was always self-conscious of my face shape

For years, I was very self-conscious of my face. My cheeks felt puffy, and I didn't like how round my jawline looked.

About six months into sobriety, my face shape changed. I never realized how connected alcohol is to puffiness, because it causes dehydration and dilates blood vessels.

Since going without booze — and drinking more water in its place — my face and skin look better than ever. A friend and I recently saw old Facebook photos of us from seven years ago. We both couldn't believe how much younger I look now, at 30, than at 23.

I stick to a routine now

While I've always had a skincare routine, my problem was staying consistent. On Mondays, I would try to start the week off on the best foot, making sure I cleansed my face and applied serum.

Deeper into the week, when I'd come home after drinking, I'd forego properly cleaning my face. Sometimes, I'd fall asleep without removing any of my makeup — usually on the nights I really went out and wore even heavier makeup. Then, Monday would roll around, and I would try (and fail) to keep up my routines. As a result, my skin felt duller and drier, especially in the winter.

Now that I don't drink, it's a lot easier to stick to a multi-step routine in the morning and at night. Even if I'm too exhausted to go through all the steps (like applying toner), I at least cleanse my face.

Because I sleep better too, it's made my morning routine more enjoyable. Instead of rushing to brush my teeth, I wake up earlier than I used to and do my full skincare routine before walking my dog. I now look forward to slower, calmer starts to the day.

Healthier habits improve my skin

My beauty regimen isn't the only positive habit I've been able to stick to. Back when I drank, I would often skip running because I'd feel hungover or tired.

Now that I'm more rested, I run more often and finished three half-marathons last year. Exercise benefits the skin, and I definitely feel more fresh-faced since I started working out more.

My relationship with food changed, too. When I was drinking or hungover, I'd get the munchies and crave super salty, dehydrating snacks. Eating a more balanced diet also improved my skin texture.

I'm not the only one who's noticed changes in my appearance. One friend recently complimented my skin and I told her how sobriety helped. She messaged me the other day to tell me she's been sober for almost two months now.

A few other friends are also sober-curious now and told me that my openness around sobriety is what inspired them. That always makes me very happy.

• Gaslighting is when someone lies and deliberately makes you question your own reality.
• A therapist said it's the most overused therapy-speak term and is rarely used correctly.
• She shared the differences between gaslighting and just having different points of view.

Therapy-speak terms like "gaslighting" and "narcissist" have risen in popularity as mental health awareness has grown, but it can be risky to throw these words around in personal relationships.

"If you turn to a clinical term and blame the other person for everything going wrong, you rob yourself of the chance to self-reflect and to grow in positive ways," said Isabelle Morley, a couples therapist who wrote the upcoming book "They're Not Gaslighting You."

Gaslighting, in her experience, is the most misused phrase.

Morley shared the signs someone is actually gaslighting you, and how to know if they aren't.

A person acts like their reality is the only correct one

Inspired by the 1938 stage play and 1944 movie adaptation "Gaslight," "gaslighting" is a popular way to describe when someone deliberately lies to make you doubt your own reality.

Morley said the core feature of gaslighting is one person behaving as if their reality is the only correct one. Some people, like the villain from "Gaslight," concoct a web of lies for nefarious reasons. Others are just emotionally immature and unable to accept a different point of view.

That doesn't mean it's gaslighting if someone can't understand your point of view. Someone can just not understand your experience or what you're going through, and that lack of understanding is not 'gaslighting,'" Leah Aguirre, a licensed clinical social worker, previously told Business Insider.

If you suspect someone is gaslighting you, ask them to acknowledge that your perspective is different. Going to therapy can be helpful, too.

If they can own up to having two separate views of reality, even if they're in direct conflict, that's a sign that they're willing to see nuance and compromise. True gaslighters will double down and continue making you feel like you can't trust yourself — even in the presence of a therapist, from Morley's experience.

It's probably not gaslighting if: They can validate how you feel while still disagreeing with you.

They can't admit to lying

Morley said many people use "gaslighting" to refer to another person lying to them, but that's not always correct.

"While all gaslighting involves lying, not all lying is gaslighting," she said.

For example, if a person accidentally hurts your feelings with a harsh joke, they might respond with "I didn't say that!" In that case, they're probably not lying because they want to deceive or dominate you, but because they feel shame or fear losing the relationship if they're honest. People-pleasers might compulsively lie because they anticipate getting in trouble.

Morley said the big difference is whether someone can admit to a lie rather than commit to it. "That person has to be faced with the fact that it's a lie and it's doing some damage," she said.

The first step is for them to feel vulnerable, which will be hard if they're labeled a "gaslighter."

It's probably not gaslighting if: They can own up to to their mistakes.

The gaslighting escalates over time

True gaslighting is hard to spot from just one incident. It usually starts off small and escalates to bigger deception.

One of the best ways to spot gaslighting is to notice other patterns of abuse. "It's very rare that somebody has a healthy relationship and then during fights, the partner legitimately gaslights the other person," Morley said.

Since gaslighters can't acknowledge opposing points of view or admit to making mistakes, they blame other people in conflicts. It's incessant, making you feel run-down and depleted.

For someone who is willing to talk things out with you, a "gaslighter" label can feel judgmental and shut down conversations, Morley said. It can also detract from how you feel.

Gaslighters won't care what you call them, anyway. They'll be furious you called them out at all.

It's probably not gaslighting if: You otherwise feel secure and happy in the relationship.

• Over the past year, there have been more stories of airline crashes.
• Aerophobia, or fear of flying, can be heightened from reading distressing news about flights.
• Two therapists shared tips on how to manage anxiety and fear around flying.

If you're nervous every time you get on a flight, reading the news doesn't help.

On Monday, a Delta plane flipped upside down while landing in Toronto's main airport, injuring 21 people. The footage comes a few weeks after a military helicopter collided with an American Airlines passenger jet in DC, killing all 64 people aboard both flights.

Those with aerophobia, or fear of flying, might feel vindicated in their worries after reading the past year's stories of commercial planes crashing, losing doors mid-flight, or flying through increased turbulence.

"Now they're going to say, 'I was right all along,'" Tom Bunn, a retired airline captain and licensed therapist specializing in aviation phobias, told Business Insider.

Prerna Menon, a New York City therapist, has seen the issue come up a lot in her practice. She said her clients' symptoms worsen as they consume more news about crashes.

Bunn and Menon shared a few tips to overcome flying phobias, whether you feel increased discomfort when you land or avoid flying completely.

Where you sit can help you feel a sense of control

For many fearful fliers, the root issue is feeling a lack of control.

Bunn gave an example of a client — an airline captain — who one day felt anxious sitting in an economy middle seat. "If he was in the cockpit, he wouldn't have any trouble because he's in control," Bunn said.

Takeoff, landing, and bad turbulence can exacerbate that feeling of helplessness, Menon said. The tricky thing is finding a way to process your feelings in the moment. "Now that fight-or-flight response has been activated, and you're confined to a seat, you're not really able to expel that anxiety."

For anxious passengers, you can choose a seat closer to the front or over the wing, where you can see outside.

While some experts say it doesn't make much difference, one flight anxiety coach told Condé Nast Traveler that he recommends sitting in the center of the plane. "Factually speaking, the point of balance is over the wings or maybe slightly forward. This is considered the 'best place' by many," Paul Tizzard, a coach with LoveFly, told the outlet.

Don't try to fly your way out of a phobia

For many phobias, treatment involves some form of gradual exposure therapy. Aerophobia is different because "either you're flying or you're not," Bunn said.

However, you don't want to force yourself to go on a bunch of flights, Bunn said. "Once you get sensitized to not being in control and able to escape, you're only going to make it worse."

Instead, he said it's best to start as small as possible, breaking down each part of the flight into bite-sized pieces. Take-off, for example, isn't just one event. "The engines rev up, and when they do, the pitch goes higher," he said.

He recommends having someone you feel safe around, like a partner or friend, hold neutral photographs of an airplane terminal, a plane in flight, and a plane landing to change your associations with the images. You can also picture them holding up the photographs while looking you in the eye, which can have a calming effect.

Menon also said exposure to more neutral images of planes, especially in contrast to distressing videos on social media, can help. If your fear of flying is severe, she recommended taking small steps like going with a loved one to an airport.

Engage your senses when you're in the air

Once you're on a flight, your options for calming down are more limited. Some techniques involve engaging your physical senses to pull away from ruminating.

Bunn suggested using the 54321 grounding exercise, in which you identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. (Doing it in that order makes it harder for your brain to blow through the steps quickly, he said.)

If you anticipate being nervous on a flight, Menon said you can bring a tactile activity with you, such as crocheting, drawing, or playing with a fidget toy. "Engaging multiple senses allows us to anchor our minds and bodies into the present moment," she said.

Try the 4-7-8 breathing trick

It sounds simple, but breathing exercises work to quell your fears. Mindful breathing "slows down our heart rate and triggers the relaxation response," Menon said.

Menon recommended the 4-7-8 breathing pattern, in which you inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale for eight.

Bunn agreed. He said exhaling for longer than you inhale is his trick for calming the nervous system. He added that it may not be a perfect cure-all, especially in times of turbulence.

"When the plane drops, everybody's going to get some stress hormones released, some more than others," he said.

To get the most out of this trick, Menon said it's best to do it a few times prior to boarding the aircraft, as well as when you just sat down.

Look at other stressors in your life

If you suddenly developed aerophobia as an adult, Bunn said it could help to look at other stressors in your life, particularly ones that leave you feeling powerless.

Often, "straws have been put on the camel's back for years," he said, making you less tolerant of situations where you feel trapped — like being on a plane.

• Justine Sterling Converse started a small event strategy company.
• To retain staff, she offers 16 weeks of paid maternity leave and a fifth 50% transition month.
• Her company pays part of the leave and staff applies for short-term disability to cover the rest.

Long before she became pregnant, Justine Sterling Converse was worried about the impact motherhood would have on her career in event strategy.

Because of the demanding hours and long weekend shifts, Converse's industry friends slowly dropped out of the workforce. Often, it was after a short maternity leave period. They would struggle to balance their newfound roles as mothers with their work.

"It kind of hit me like a ton of bricks," Converse, 40, told Business Insider. "I really did have the thought of 'Do I need to shift careers?'"

At the same time, she loved what she did. After working as a staff assistant to former president George W. Bush, she became the director of strategic programming at the George W. Bush Presidential Center in Dallas, organizing events with the Obamas and Clintons.

In 2019, she started Brigade Events, a Texas-based event strategy and management company owned and operated by women. At the time, the company had six full-time employees and promised to support working moms. There was no official maternity leave policy in place. That changed quickly.

"Our first person told us she was pregnant, and then we proceeded to have five pregnancies within 13 months," Converse said. She knew Brigade needed to establish a policy they were proud of to retain staff. The problem was striking the balance between ample time off and growing as a new company.

Converse knew from experience that poor leave policies would lead to a loss in workers — one she believed would cost her business more in the long run. She landed on a 16-week maternity leave policy, partly paid for with short-term disability benefits provided by the state. Brigade also offers a fifth, 50% transition month, in which mothers work half of their normal hours for half their pay.

She said the company has been profitable except in 2020, when most events were shut down due to the pandemic. This has inspired Brigade to keep lengthening its maternity leave policy, with the ultimate goal of reaching six months of paid time off.

Researching the optimal leave time

Converse began her research on parental leave by reading "The Fifth Trimester" by Lauren Smith Brody, a guide to help new moms transition back into the workforce. She also spoke to friends, comparing their experiences with the maternity leave norms in most jobs.

While the US is the only developed nation to not guarantee parental leave, many employers grant about 12 weeks of paid leave, and the Family and Medical Leave Act offers up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave a year. For the moms Converse knew, that wasn't enough.

"When you're a mom, 12 weeks is just when you're starting to have a routine with your baby," she said.

Converse thought that 16 weeks, closer to European parental leave norms and a bragging right of many top companies, was ideal. Her new company, just starting to find its footing, couldn't afford to pay it.

Helping employees apply for short-term disability

One option for small-business owners in Converse's position is to use their state's paid leave programs in combination with PTO payments.

Converse started by paying out eight weeks of leave per employee while helping them apply for short-term disability leave — which includes pregnancy and covers 66% of an employee's salary — to reach 16 weeks.

Every Brigade employee who's had a child has gotten their short-term disability approved and been able to take off 16 weeks.

Converse said her company's mission is to add a week of paid leave for every profitable year. It now offers 11 weeks of paid leave, with the remaining five covered by state benefits, plus the fifth transition month.

At the time of the interview, Converse was completing her own transition month.

Good maternity leave is an investment

At various points in 2024, four out of Brigade's 10 full-time employees (including Converse) were on maternity leave.

For everyone to take their 16 weeks, "we had to make decisions about not taking on certain projects," April Zorsky, 39, the company's chief creative officer, told BI. The company also hired more contractors while the remaining full-time employees had "fuller plates than normal."

Converse said the sacrifices are worth it, even from a strictly financial perspective. "It's always going to cost you more money to lose a really talented person and have to cover and rehire and train," she said.

While not everyone at Brigade has kids or plans to in the near future, Converse knows from experience that working women pay attention to how mothers are treated at their companies. If employees see a future of inflexibility and extreme burnout, she said, "you might lose them even before they're pregnant."

• Body recomposition is the process of losing fat while gaining muscle at the same time.
• After a body composition analysis, I worked with a trainer to find exercises to reach my goals.
• I should focus on adding weight and doing shorter, more challenging cardio.

To ring in the new year, I booked a body composition analysis at the athletic club Life Time.

After I got a scan of my muscle mass and body fat, a personal trainer walked me through the results: for optimal health, I needed to lose body fat and gain more muscle.

My main takeaway is that changing my diet is key. I'll get the best results if I maintain a calorie deficit, prioritize whole foods and lots of protein, and drink more water.

The trainer also said that I could update my current workout routine (a mix of cardio and strength training) to be more challenging. He walked me through a personal training session and showed me the exercises I needed to recompose my body.

Focus on strength training

Strength training is the best way to build muscle and burn fat. Because my body composition analysis showed that my legs are generally stronger than my arms, I asked if we could focus more on upper-body exercises.

To strengthen my upper body, I learned how to use machines for pull-ups, rows, and rope pulls.

I also worked on improving my chest press form. My trainer had me hold the barbell in position before I started doing reps so that I could make sure the correct muscles were activated. Otherwise, I won't see much progress and could hurt myself.

His main takeaway was that I should keep track of how much I lift and make sure I'm increasing weight.

He recommended starting with a lighter weight (and higher rep count), slowly increasing my weight, and decreasing my reps as needed per exercise.

That way, I can ensure that I'm progressively overloading and building up muscles rather than plateauing. In addition to the classes I take, I plan to work on upper- and lower-body workouts on my own as well.

Improving my core strength

Pretty much every weightlifting exercise I do involves "activating my core" so that I can stay balanced and secure throughout. My trainer said I should also include core exercises to help support my strength training goals: whether I'm doing a deadlift or a chest press, a strong core is necessary to do them right. Otherwise, I won't see many gains.

One I learned was lying on a box with my head and legs elevated while my back was flat. Holding positions like this for 30 seconds or a minute will gradually increase my core strength.

Try shorter cardio sessions

While I regularly run throughout the week, my trainer said that if I'm not challenging myself and keeping my heart rate up, I'm not actually burning much fat.

Rather than focusing on longer-distance runs where I go at a leisurely pace, he recommended doing shorter, 30-minute cardio sessions at the fastest pace I can tolerate.

Bulking and cutting at the same time is notoriously hard. There's a reason athletes typically focus on either gaining muscle or losing fat at one time. While I'm more focused on cutting, I'm hoping an emphasis on strength training and quicker cardio can help me hit my goals.

• A new study found that people with ADHD likely have a shorter life expectancy.
• It found men died about seven years earlier and women died nine years sooner than their peers.
• ADHD is linked to more impulsive or disorganized behavior, which could lead to worse health outcomes.

A new study of more than 9 million British adults found that people with ADHD died earlier than their peers without the disorder.

On average, the research found men with ADHD died about seven years earlier, while women died nine years sooner than their peers without ADHD.

Published by the British Journal of Psychiatry, the study looked at data on 30,000 people diagnosed with ADHD and compared it with data from about 300,000 people without it — all about the same age and general health status.

While the study didn't explore the causes of death, the researchers said ADHD symptoms such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and forgetfulness could lead to "modifiable risk factors."

ADHD is a neurological disorder linked to other health issues, such as risky substance use, and other disorders, including autism.

"To me, the best analog is diabetes," Russell Barkley, the lead author of a 2019 study on ADHD and shorter estimated life expectancy, told The New York Times. "This is a disorder that you've got to manage, like high blood pressure, like cholesterol and diabetes. You've got to treat this for life."

ADHD can heighten impulsive behavior

The study is observational, which means it does not show a causal relationship between ADHD and earlier death. It also leaves unanswered questions about what could be driving a connection.

Previous studies found a link between ADHD and risky behaviors like substance misuse. In a press release, Philip Asherson, a professor of molecular psychiatry at King's College London, said that adults with ADHD were more likely to engage in unhealthy habits such as smoking or binge eating.

Over time, this can lead to health risks. "We know that ADHD is associated with higher rates of smoking, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and cancer among other health problems," he said.

Early intervention can help

The British study said many people were undiagnosed in the UK.

Given that less than 1% of the study's participants were diagnosed with ADHD, it's "also striking in showing how few people with ADHD get a diagnosis," Oliver Howes, a professor of molecular psychiatry at King's College London who was not involved in the research, said in a statement to reporters.

The study researchers said that "unmet support and treatment needs" could be one of the causes of earlier death in people with ADHD.

Getting a diagnosis can help a person with ADHD find ways to manage their symptoms, be it from medication or adjustments in how they work or stay organized.

• I got a body composition analysis through my gym, with a trainer explaining the results to me.
• While my BMI and muscle mass were in healthy ranges, my body fat was not.
• The results encouraged me to add more weights at the gym and drink more water.

If there was ever a time for me to scan my body for any health weaknesses, it was now. As the new year began, I got back into working out almost every day and kicked off Dry January.

I was ready: I booked a 30-minute body composition analysis at Life Time, a popular athletic club. A trainer met me and explained the process: I would take off my shoes and socks (of course when I forgot to repaint my toenails) and stand on an InBody body composition analyzer.

The scanning process took about five minutes. First, the machine weighed me, then scanned my skeletal muscle mass, body fat, and water content when I held the hand electrodes.

At first, my stats looked good. I quickly glanced at the printout and saw my BMI was in the healthy range. So was, to my pleasant surprise, my muscle mass — strength training seemed to pay off!

It was when he reviewed my body fat percentage that I panicked a little. I'd like to say it was an overdue wake-up call, but it was more a confirmation of what I already knew: I needed to change my routine.

The hot new trend of measuring body composition

The scanner, made by InBody, was first developed in South Korea in the late '90s as an alternative to traditional scales. By the early 2000s, the first InBody body composition scanners hit the US market.

In 2020, InBody unveiled new technology at CES, a high-profile science conference. This update could ostensibly analyze abdominal fat and total body water, advancing the accuracy of body composition results.

In the years to follow, body composition scans became popular due to their ability to better measure overall health than BMI does.

An InBody 570, like the one I tried, can cost up to $15,000. Getting an InBody scan is considered to be a more affordable and convenient alternative to a DEXA scan, which uses X-ray images to measure how much muscle, fat, and bone you have. New DEXA scanners cost anywhere between $45,000 to $80,000 and can only be used by healthcare providers, while personal trainers can operate InBody machines.

DEXA scans are considered to be more accurate than InBody, which can produce skewed results if you eat right before, drink alcohol 24 hours before, or apply hand lotion.

BMI doesn't tell the whole story

I've known for a long time that BMI isn't a great health metric because it doesn't separate the weight differences between muscle and fat.

Still, because mine was always in the "healthy" range, I used it as a quick barometer of my overall health, the same way I listen to my horoscope if it tells me I'm crushing it at life.

While my BMI and skeletal muscle weight were both in healthy ranges, my body fat percentage was slightly over the healthy limit. I also had the maximum healthy limit of visceral fat, fat stored near my internal organs.

Right now, my trainer said, I'm at a "crossroads" with my visceral body-fat ratio. It's still easy enough for me to reverse through diet and more challenging exercise. But if it keeps increasing, he said I'll be at a higher risk for developing heart disease later on in life, even if my BMI remains the same.

The analysis gave me targets for how much body fat to lose and muscle to gain to be maximally fit. Knowing my body, hitting those targets would require me to essentially live at the gym and be incredibly strict with my diet, two things I'm not willing to do.

However, I agree with the broader goal: lose some body fat and gain a little bit of muscle, which requires monitoring my diet and getting my heart rate up at the gym.

My diet needs work

My trainer said that most of the work will be in my diet, meaning I would need a calorie deficit. He said I should prioritize whole foods like lean protein, fruits, vegetables, and grains, essentially following the Mediterranean diet.

I've already been focused on getting more protein and eating enough plant-based foods. My breakfast is either oatmeal with berries and peanut butter or scrambled eggs. Every week, I meal-prep some variation of fish with vegetables and grains. Even when I make pasta at home, it's always whole wheat with a homemade sauce.

When the new year started, I cut alcohol to improve my health, something that will definitely help me lose body fat. I've also been working on eating smaller portions. When I was training for a marathon or preparing to deadlift my heaviest, I got into the habit of eating a lot more than I used to. Now that I'm not doing either, all that extra food is being converted into fat I'm not burning off.

I still have room for improvement. He said I should drink more water, which can help with fat loss. Reflecting on my diet, I could be more mindful about how many little treats I give myself in a day (probably should be less than three!). Given his emphasis on unprocessed foods, I knew I had to tweak my diet to include more fruits and vegetables.

The same day I got the assessment, I texted my husband: our comfort dinner of miso-butter pasta was going to come with some salad.

Heart rate is key

When I started running a decade ago, I quickly dropped about 15 pounds without changing much about my diet.

More recently, I started going to strength classes about two to three times a week, and running between two and five miles on the other days, with usually one rest day. I also live in a city, so I often walk or bike to get places.

Done together, I thought this would keep me lean and healthy.

My trainer explained that it isn't so simple: if I'm more leisurely with my runs (which I am), I'm not getting my heart rate up high enough to burn fat. It matters less that I can run a marathon than how fast I can go.

The same thing goes for strength training: if I'm not actively increasing the weight I lift, I'm not building enough muscle to experience the fat-burning benefits.

When I had a strength training class later that day, I challenged myself to sprint more in the running portion and lift heavier on my bench press.

Additionally, I wrote down my weights so I could track my improvement.

A few days later, I chose to join a faster pace group in my run club. It was challenging, but doable — exactly what the trainer said I should aim for.

He also said HIIT classes could help me burn fat and gain muscle, so I'm planning to try one soon.

While it initially stung to hear that I wasn't in as excellent health as I thought, I also learned how in control I am of my body. I was already working on fine-tuning my eating habits and gym routine. The body composition analysis is just there to remind me why I do it.

• Justin Baldoni sued the New York Times for its story about Blake Lively's complaint against him.
• He alleges that the paper took his publicists' quotes out of context and omitted an emoji.
• Experts say emojis can change the meaning of a statement, and that Baldoni might have a point.

As the legal battle between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni ramps up, one of the most contested points may involve an emoji.

In his lawsuit against the New York Times, Baldoni said the paper failed to include an upside-down smile emoji — which is used to convey sarcasm or silliness — in a quote, effectively changing the meaning.

The Times quoted Jennifer Abel, one of his publicists, as saying "Wow. You really outdid yourself with this piece" to Melissa Nathan, a crisis management expert. Read at face value, it would appear that Abel is congratulating Nathan for contributing to a Daily Mail story critical of Lively.

However, Baldoni said that the upside-down emoji at the end indicated that Abel was being sarcastic and therefore changed the meaning of the text.

He raises an interesting question about modern communication, Dr. Monica Riordan, a computer-mediated communication professor at Chatham University, told Business Insider.

"I would argue that the inclusion of that emoji is actually very important," Riordan said. "You can't just remove an emoji from a message and indicate that the message contains the same meaning."

Others disagree, arguing that the emoji omission won't be enough to help Baldoni's case.

Emojis make up for a lack of body language

Emojis originated in Japan in the late '90s as a set of pixelated images created for an early mobile internet platform. By 2011, Apple introduced an emoji keyboard on iPhones and has regularly replenished it with new ones.

As communication has become more reliant on digital media, from texting close friends to messaging online dates, emojis have become crucial for filling in the blanks for what we don't see.

"Emojis have similar functions to body language and spoken interaction in the digital space," Vyvyan Evans, a linguist and author of "The Emoji Code," told BI. As with IRL body language, he said emojis are often used to establish tone.

Evans compared the upside-down smiley emoji to rolling one's eyes or shrugging in real life. Because tone of voice and facial expressions can drastically change the meaning of a phrase, emojis can, too.

"If an emoji is removed, it's not just that it impacts the tone, it's changing the meaning in a substantive way," he said.

Emojis are more complicated than tone of voice

Unlike smiling or frowning, which have more universally agreed-upon meanings, emojis are more up to interpretation, Riordan said. How people use emojis can differ by generation, for example.

It gets even thornier when analyzing a relationship between two people who may have their own shared language. It's common to develop some norms around emoji use that maybe people outside that relationship might not actually understand or may misinterpret," she said.

Not everyone uses the upside-down emoji the same way — some mean it to be ironic, others to denote frustration or painful acceptance.

It makes analyzing emojis in texts all the more challenging. Riordan said there are "perils" to wading through so many layers of communication to analyze a person's intent. It gets even hazier when the emoji is cut from a quote.

It likely won't be enough to help Baldoni's case

Sean Andrade, a Los Angeles lawyer who's represented plaintiffs in libel cases, previously told BI that the Times removing context such as emojis would be "a little unethical." Still, he believes it won't be enough to disprove that Baldoni's team engaged in a smear campaign against Lively.

Riordan said Baldoni can make an argument for the emoji changing the meaning of the message, but would likely "have a difficult time proving intent." Not everyone views emojis as necessary to quote.

However the case pans out, Evans said it brings up an important point for journalists: it can be "very dangerous" from an ethical and legal standpoint to omit emojis that could dramatically change the interpretation of a quote.

"The communicative intent is what is important," he said. "Without the other relevant elements, you're changing that and misreporting," whether a journalist means to or not.

• Natalia Grace Mans spoke about being diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder.
• RAD is a rare condition in which children fail to form healthy relationships with their caregivers.
• Natalia said in "The Curious Case of Natalia Grace" that she felt her diagnosis was "understandable."

In "The Curious Case of Natalia Grace: The Final Chapter," Natalia Grace Mans speaks about being diagnosed with reactive detachment disorder.

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a condition in which children do not form healthy relationships with their caregivers. Legal analyst Beth Karas said in episode six of "Natalia Speaks," the second installment of the series, that Natalia was diagnosed with RAD in 2010, while she was living with her then-adoptive parents Michael and Kristine Barnett.

Since then, Natalia — who was first adopted from a Ukrainian orphanage to the United States in 2008 — has lived with multiple families. In 2010, she was adopted by the Barnetts, who came to believe she was an adult and petitioned in court to change her birth year from 2003 to 1989. The Barnetts moved Natalia into an independent apartment in 2012, and in 2013, she met Cynthia Mans and moved in with her family. Antwon and Cynthia Mans adopted Natalia in 2023, but later that year, she left their home to live with Nicole and Vince DePaul, who attempted to adopt her when she was a child, in upstate New York.

In "Natalia Speaks," Natalia said that her diagnosis was "understandable."

"I still don't know the full length of reactive attachment disorder, but I know one thing for me is that I don't like being left," she said in episode four of "The Final Chapter." "I constantly feel like people are just going to walk out of my life."

RAD makes it very hard to connect with others

In episode four of "The Final Chapter," Nicole DePaul speaks to rehabilitation psychologist Melissa Misegadis about Grace's former RAD diagnosis.

"Reactive attachment disorder is what happens when children don't bond to their caregivers," Misegadis said in the show. It's recognized in the DSM-5, the standard classification of mental disorders in the US.

Symptoms include a failure to play with other kids, lack of eye contact, and unexplained fear.

While RAD can resemble a disorganized attachment style, attachment styles are more fluid and describe differences in how people connect in relationships. RAD qualifies as a disorder because of the severity of its symptoms, such as behavior problems.

Childhood abandonment is a huge risk factor

Misegadis wasn't surprised that Grace has RAD. "Individuals with unaddressed trauma like Natalia has, these are behaviors that are coming from years of rejection and trauma," she said in the show.

According to the Mayo Clinic, risk factors for developing RAD include losing a parent early in life (or having a severely neglectful parental figure), spending time in orphanages with no loving adult figures, and cycling through foster homes.

"I constantly feel like people are just going to walk out of my life," Grace said in the show. "I personally can't handle someone leaving me anymore. I can't handle caring about somebody and then they walk away."

Rita Soronen, president and CEO of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, previously told Business Insider that international adoptions like Grace's often don't provide much background. As a result, parents who adopt or foster kids can be shocked by RAD symptoms, rehoming their kids in the end.

RAD treatment usually requires therapy

Left untreated, RAD can lead to long-term consequences, like substance abuse disorder, depression, and difficulty forming relationships.

Treatment usually involves therapy, social skills classes, or parenting classes to help caretakers effectively manage their kids' behaviors. Though Natalia declined mental health services during production, producer Shannon Evangelista told The Hollywood Reporter, she told People that started seeing a therapist after she had a panic attack in 2024.

So far, Natalia said she feels "free" living with the DePauls, who initially tried to adopt her in 2003. She says in episode four of "The Final Chapter" that she's "not really talking" to the Mans.

"Did she probably do weird things in the past? Yeah," Nicole DePaul told People. "[But] when you take in a child, you take that child as your own. You don't just get rid of them when they don't fit into your puzzle."

"The Curious Case of Natalia Grace: The Final Chapter" is now streaming on Max.

• In 2015, Mina Grace Ward, 60, was diagnosed with Graves' disease, an autoimmune disorder.
• In hopes of improving symptoms like hair loss and fatigue, she went sober and changed her diet.
• She's been in remission since 2018, regrowing her hair and no longer having panic attacks.

Editor's note: Business Insider has verified all medical records mentioned in this article.

When I was 50, I was diagnosed with Graves' disease, a common autoimmune disorder that causes an overactive thyroid.

I was a textbook case. I experienced the main symptoms — rapid weight loss, high blood pressure, hair loss, fatigue, inflammation, anxiety, depression — all at the same time. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks and was completely debilitated. I couldn't get out of bed.

There is no cure for Graves' disease. Some people can go into remission after undergoing a thyroidectomy or taking short-term medication, though success rates aren't high. A year into treatment, my endocrinologist didn't give me much hope for getting better; she was throwing different prescriptions at me and they weren't leading to much improvement in my health.

She told me that my diet, which I considered balanced, wouldn't cure me. I wasn't convinced. Because I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, I decided it couldn't hurt to cut a few things out.

While I never drank heavily, I was used to having wine with dinner or grabbing a few cocktails at a concert. I knew alcohol is a toxin and that no amount is safe to consume, so I stopped drinking.

Between going sober and cutting out some inflammatory foods like red meat, I started to feel better. My thyroid tests gradually yielded normal levels, and have stayed that way since 2018.

I've also grown my hair back, stopped experiencing panic attacks, and feel happier than ever.

I became more mindful of what I consume

Even before my Graves' diagnosis, I thought about going sober; I knew how a few drinks could add up.

I also gave up foods that could make my symptoms worse, like seafood, which is high in iodine and can trigger hyperthyroidism. I essentially followed a more plant-based version of the Mediterranean diet.

About six months after making these changes, I saw my endocrinologist again. She said my thyroid levels were getting better. By 2017, they were normal.

Since then, I've loosened up my diet a little — I eat cheese in moderation, for example. I fluctuate, listening to how my body feels.

Still, I haven't given up sobriety.

Going sober fixed my worst symptoms

One of my most distressing Graves symptoms was hair loss. I was losing so much that I was actually balding on the top of my head. Since changing my diet, I fully changed course: my hair feels fuller and healthier.

My moods were also impacted by Graves' — anxiety and depression are common symptoms, and I experienced both.

I realized that I felt worse when I drank. I cried all the time. Since quitting, I stopped feeling the sadness I used to. I also no longer have panic attacks. At my worst, I had them three or four times a day.

The biggest change was in my energy levels. Fatigue is a major symptom of Graves' — I was always exhausted. Going booze-free improved my sleep; I started getting a full eight hours and waking up more rested and refreshed. My energy came back.

Even though I didn't have Graves' in my 20s and 30s, I know drinking eventually catches up to you as you age. While I had fun when I was younger, I now want to focus on living longer and maintaining the highest quality of life I can.

I am still in remission

To be considered in remission from Graves' disease, you have to have normal thyroid levels for two years without medication.

At first, I was close to hitting remission. My doctor weaned me off hyperthyroidism medication and I reached a year and 10 months with good test results. Because I underwent a very stressful time in my life, my symptoms were triggered again. I was put back on medication, and this time, I made sure to follow my new diet as closely as possible and try stress-relieving exercises. Within three months, my numbers went back to normal.

I've now been in remission for seven years, since 2018. I try to use my experience to make a difference: I wrote a cookbook of recipes that helped me reduce my symptoms. My four sons, who work at an Italian restaurant I started with my ex-husband, recently included more vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options on the menu after seeing how much they helped me.

I turned 60 this year. I know I'm so much happier because I chose to go sober and change my diet. I absolutely love life; I've never felt this healthy and this alive, all because I started taking care of my body.

• I tracked how much I drank every day for a year.
• Moderate drinking is one drink a day for women, not exceeding 7 a week.
• I exceeded that amount half the time, drinking more during the summer and holidays.

In my head, I was great at drinking less in 2024. I rarely had more than two drinks per occasion, ordering more mocktails and N/A beers.

My journal tells a different story.

Back in 2023, I started writing down how many standard drinks I had per day in addition to my daily entries. I knew alcohol could impact my physical and mental health, so I wanted to factor it in to see how it altered my mood.

After the US Surgeon General announced alcohol's link to cancer last week, I decided to crack the numbers over the whole year. While there's no safe amount of alcohol to consume, the National Center for Health Promotion and Disease Prevention has guidelines for moderate drinking. Women shouldn't have more than one drink a day and seven total a week.

For 26 out of 52 weeks, I went above that limit.

Looking back, I saw patterns around when I'd drink and how I felt before and after. Going into 2025, it's convinced me to become "dry by default" and create tighter rules around drinking.

I didn't feel like I was drinking a lot

I have never blacked out. I also never drink alone and rarely in my home, unless we have guests over.

Still, I got a 50% moderate drinking grade for 2024 — a big F. Because there were times I had three drinks throughout the whole day, I had only one memory of actually being drunk — one I excused in my mind because it was at a wedding.

The times I had four drinks in a day, no matter how spaced out they were or how sober I felt, qualified as heavy drinking for women, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Part of the issue was my own knowledge of what qualified as healthy. I didn't know that I should cap myself at one drink a day — I always aimed for two max, which is the healthy limit for men.

We want to hear from you about your drinking habits. If you're comfortable sharing with a reporter, please fill out this quick form. Note: We won't publish any part of your submission unless we contact you first.

My drinking ramped up as I socialized more

The periods I drank the most were early summer and the holidays when I had the most plans. I also got married this year and had a few small events to celebrate, which led to more drinking.

There are social benefits to drinking in moderation. The problem is when I'm having a good time after one glass of wine, I often want to maximize that feeling by ordering one more. Even when I limited myself to two drinks per occasion, those cocktails added up when I went out four times a week.

I drank less when I had a big goal

My healthiest drinking periods coincided with training for my first marathon. I often had only a few drinks the whole week because I was getting up early to run four times a week, and I abstained from drinking the week before the race. As an added bonus, I looked less puffy in my wedding photos.

Giving up alcohol is the hardest for me when it feels like a punishment, like I'm removing some pleasure from my life for the nebulous goal of being healthier. It was much easier to order that Phony Negroni when I had a higher purpose or goal. It made me feel dedicated and confident. I was someone who could hang with my friends and still make it to that morning run.

Now, I'm doing Dry January and plan to continue when the month is up. The biggest shock from tracking my data isn't that I drank more than I thought; it's how much happier and more fulfilled I was when I didn't at all.

• The US Surgeon General announced that alcohol causes cancer.
• The "1-2-3 rule" can help you cut down on drinking, especially in social settings.
• Limit yourself to 1-2 drinks a day, never exceeding three.

The US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a warning Friday, saying alcohol causes cancer and no amount of alcohol is safe.

Still, going fully sober doesn't always work for everyone.

Katherine Metzelaar, a registered dietitian, told Business Insider that, unless a client has experience of substance abuse, she usually recommends drinking in moderation over participating in events like Dry January.

"Cutting it out entirely often leads to the cycle of restricting alcohol and then binging alcohol," Metzelaar told Business Insider.

To make alcohol moderation less vague, some people follow the "1-2-3 rule," a rough guideline on how much to drink each day. According to the US Coast Guard, the 1-2-3 rule is:

• No more than one standard drink per hour
• No more than two standard drinks per occasion
• No more than three drinks a day (more than three constitutes binge drinking, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism)

Metzelaar says there "isn't a one-size-fits-all answer" to alcohol consumption, but the 1-2-3 rule roughly falls in line with the CDC's advisory of no more than a drink a day for women and two drinks a day for men.

We want to hear from you about your drinking habits. If you're comfortable sharing with a reporter, please fill out this quick form. Note: We won't publish any part of your submission unless we contact you first.

She said not a perfect rule, especially since drinking notoriously makes it tougher to control impulses or always keep track of drinks.

For some, it can be a helpful starting point for cutting down on alcohol, particularly in social settings.

Set an intention before drinking

Metzelaar said guidelines like the 1-2-3 rule can help some people stick to a plan. At the same time, drinking can make you lower your inhibitions and go for that third drink every time.

To make the most of the rule, she recommended setting an intention before a social event, such as only having one drink that evening, drinking water between each alcoholic beverage, or ordering mocktails all night.

Knowing your triggers

To really keep up the habit of alcohol moderation, Metzelaar suggests journaling how much you drink every day to "get a sense of what the patterns are."

Because the rule isn't foolproof, she said it's helpful to know the emotions behind wanting to drink more, such as social anxiety. "That's worth getting really curious about," she said.

Caroline Susie, a registered dietitian who primarily works with women, said her clients have tracked patterns like work stress or coping with childcare responsibilities. That can help them know when they're more tempted to go over the 1-2-3 rule.

You still shouldn't drink every day

Even if you follow the 1-2-3 rule each time you go out, you should also be mindful of how often you consume alcohol in general. Studies show that drinking 1-2 drinks a day is still linked to cancer.

Alcohol is the third leading cause of preventable cancer in the US, after smoking and obesity, according to the US Surgeon General's advisory.

To lower your intake, Metzelaar recommends going without alcohol for at least a few days a week. For example, you might abstain from drinking during the week and then have a glass of wine with friends over the weekend. Some people prefer being "dry by default," only drinking on rare occasions.

With the growth of the sober-curious movement, Susie said it's easier than ever to make alcohol swaps with N/A beers and sparkling water when you're socializing.

"There are just so many things that you can reach for that can still feel like a treat," she said.

• In 2024, Mark Zuckerberg was the ultimate wife guy.
• He doted on his wife, Priscilla Chan, with elaborate gifts like a statue of herself.
• A therapist explained why people become wife guys and how it can benefit one's public image.

2024 was a great year for Mark Zuckerberg — and it came with an image makeover. It's the year he became a "wife guy."

Zuckerberg gifted his wife, Priscilla Chan, a 7-foot statue of herself, a custom-made Porsche minivan, a recording of him singing their anniversary song (with T-Pain himself), and a disco party, just because "Disco queen wanted a party."

Wife guys have been the butts of jokes since 2017 when Instagram user Robbie Tripp went viral for praising his "curvy wife." In their spousal-championing, wife guys like Tripp have drawn praise and skepticism from onlookers.

Not so in 2024.

Zuckerberg's public tributes to his wife earned him some glowing headlines, even from his detractors, with people aspiring to form a similar relationship. Other prominent wife guys (or, in Travis Kelce's case, girlfriend guys) have garnered similar positive press. Jett Puckett, a social media influencer, is now one-half of "TikTok's favorite couple," gushing over his wife in their posts.

Isabelle Morley, a couples therapist, told Business Insider that wife guys are exciting because they represent greater equality in monogamous relationships. As women have become more independent over the past decades, "men are shifting into a role that was traditionally only for women, which is being a supportive partner," she said.

In 2024, we saw a swing toward more traditional relationships and a yearning for big romance — the desire for stronger, unambiguously loving partnerships. A 2024 Tinder report, for example, found that users are looking for more "cherry bombing," consistent gestures of affection. Instead of looking out for red flags, they wanted "white flags" to signal a higher form of love.

It's why Zuckerberg's public adoration of his wife is a boon for his marriage and reputation.

Being a wife guy is a PR power move

Zuckerberg, 40, and Chan, 39, met at Harvard and started dating in 2003 before getting married in 2012. While the couple, who have three children, have been in the public eye for many years, running a philanthropy organization together, the custom statues and cars are a seemingly new element in their relationship.

Morley has had clients who became more vocal wife guys later in their marriages. From her experience, these changes usually boil down to two reasons:

1. The marriage is on the brink of divorce, and it's a last-ditch effort to keep it together (and dispel any rumors of a split).
2. A husband may have gone to therapy and realized where he might be lacking as a partner. This realization can give them "a new sense of commitment and excitement to be the other person's champion," Morley said.

With public figures, it can also be a professional decision. "We could never weed out if there are ulterior motives for him doing that or if they've agreed that this is something that they want for their public image if they've got a whole PR team," she said.

Zuckerberg has had his share of controversies. Meta has been in hot water for showing political bias to both parties, how it collects user data, and being addictive to children. On a personal level, Zuckerberg's been known for his awkwardness and blunt delivery, particularly in the early years of his Facebook stardom.

His image revamp, complete with a style makeover and a more confident stage presence, helps soften the criticism — as does generously spending part of his $187 billion fortune on his wife.

Striking the right wife guy balance

Wife guys can be polarizing, and how they dote on their wives matters. Some, like I did in a 2017 tweet about Tripp, criticized the applause: was it really that groundbreaking to love an objectively beautiful woman? Tripp's positive attention curdled into backlash, and while his brand still revolves around loving his curvy wife, the reviews remain mixed.

The biggest critique of wife guys is that they're not actually devoted to their relationships. Some may "overcompensate by publicly acting as though there could be no doubts to their loyalty," Morley said, living a life very different from the facade they constructed.

One internet-famous example is Ned Fulmer, one of the four original Try Guys. Fulmer was known for frequently name-dropping Ariel, his wife with whom he seemed to have the ultimate marriage. Then, in 2022, Fulmer was caught cheating on her with a younger coworker, shattering his loving husband image. Another prominent wife guy, Adam Levine, had a similar marital scandal that same year.

Morley said there's no way to tell the authenticity of a wife guy. Some men are truly in awe of their partners, and overdoing it on social media isn't necessarily an indicator of nefariousness. One definite red flag is "stomping all over their wife's space and image and dominating it," where the wife becomes a clear accessory rather than her own person.

Zuckerberg's brand of wife guy has earned him praise. He usually refers to Priscilla by her first name, and their couple selfies break up his other content, like his jiu-jitsu snaps. It's part of his larger public persona pivot, not the feature, making the romance feel more legitimate.

A collective thirst for big romance

In a time of dating app hell, Zuckerberg, who boasts about being with the same woman since college and actively participates in his children's lives, offers an image that some might find more encouraging.

"It's showing that it's OK for men to view having a positive relationship as an accomplishment — it's not just career success," Morley said. Seeing an "alpha" like Zuckerberg gush about his wife shows men that "they're allowed to be in love, to be romantic — that's not 'being soft' or 'being whipped.'"

It also offers a more wholesome alternative to social media and online dating. Professionally, Zuckerberg is overseeing Meta's foray into the dating app world. Personally, he's logging off: staying fit, throwing parties, and listening to what his wife wants in a custom luxury car — the wife he met the old-fashioned way.

It's a vision that strikes the right chord today, Morley said.

"That wives aren't just the support person or best friend character, that they are an equal partner is a really good message for people to be taking."

• Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt in 2016.
• Jolie and Pitt finalized their divorce eight years later.
• Divorce lawyers say child custody and shared businesses can lengthen divorce proceedings.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's divorce took eight years, an unusually long amount of time.

Still, legal experts told Business Insider that some factors — such as child custody and shared businesses — naturally lengthen divorce proceedings, and hold lessons for all couples.

The two actors met on the set of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" in 2003, but they did not publicly date until after Pitt's first wife, Jennifer Aniston, filed for divorce from him in 2005. The couple, who became known as Brangelina, adopted three children and had three more before getting married in France in 2014.

Two years later, Jolie filed for divorce in 2016, citing irreconcilable differences.

James J. Sexton, a New York City divorce lawyer, told Business Insider previously that issues like child custody and closely held businesses can always complicate divorce proceedings. "There's almost no limit to how many things you can fight about," he said.

In addition to fighting over custody of their six children, Jolie and Pitt had to contend with a winery they co-owned and multiple shared homes. Here's why it took so long:

Becoming legally single before divorce

Before finalizing their divorce, Jolie and Pitt became legally single in 2019.

The move allowed Jolie to restore her name from "Jolie Pitt" and for both parties to date and even remarry if they wanted to. Other celebrities, including Kim Kardashian, have also opted to become legally single before finalizing their divorces.

While it has benefits, like letting couples move forward with their lives as they figure out their settlements, it can also incentivize couples to prolong proceedings.

Divvying assets can get contentious

Sexton previously told BI that vindictive behavior could make divorce a nightmare, particularly if clients are willing to fight over every asset.

Despite initially trying to keep proceedings private, Jolie and Pitt's divorce process became more public and turned contentious several times. In an August 2018 court filing, Jolie alleged that Pitt hadn't paid any "meaningful child support" over the span of two years. In response, Pitt said he had paid more than $1.3 million in child support and accused Jolie of wanting to "manipulate" the media.

Pitt also sued Jolie in 2022, accusing her of selling her shares in their winery, Château Miraval, to the Russian oligarch Yuri Shefler without telling him — his lawsuit said they'd agreed to avoid selling their stake in the company without the other's consent. Jolie filed a countersuit arguing there was no such agreement, The New York Times reported.

David Lister, a family lawyer for 37 years who is a senior partner at the law firm Vardags in London, told Business Insider that divorcing couples often want to sort out similar external factors, like shared businesses, before completing a divorce. He added that it's not always clear how smooth — or bumpy — each external case will be. Pitt and Jolie's winery case remains ongoing.

Investigations delayed the Jolie-Pitt divorce

A few legal proceedings also delayed the Jolie-Pitt divorce.

Outlets, including the BBC, reported that John Ouderkirk, the first judge presiding over their divorce, awarded Pitt more time with their children in May 2021. The decision was reversed a few months later.

Outlets reported that an appeals court deemed it an "ethical breach" because Ouderkirk had previously worked with Pitt's lawyers.

By 2022, Jolie filed court papers alleging that, shortly before she filed for divorce, Pitt verbally and physically abused one of their six children on their private jet.

The FBI investigated Pitt in 2016; he wasn't arrested or charged.

Jolie alleged that a federal agent who investigated the incident had concluded that the government "had probable cause" to charge Pitt over the incident.

Pitt's representatives denied the abuse occurred, telling CNN in 2022 that Jolie's story "continues to evolve each time she tells it," continuing: "Brad has accepted responsibility for what he did but will not for things he didn't do."

Correction: January 2, 2025 — Because of an editing error, an earlier version of this story misstated when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie finalized their divorce. It was December 30, not January 31.

• Before settling their divorce, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were legally single since 2019.
• Being legally single allows divorcing couples to change their names and remarry.
• It can give couples more freedom as they decide on custody but can also draw out divorces even more.

After eight years, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt reached a divorce settlement on Monday.

While their separation process was lengthy and complicated, their lives were made a little simpler years earlier when they were declared "legally single" in 2019. Through a bifurcated judgment — a case separated into multiple phases — Jolie could legally restore her last name to "Jolie" instead of "Jolie Pitt" before becoming officially divorced.

Jolie and Pitt aren't the only celebrities who've opted for legal singlehood before divorce. In 2022, Kim Kardashian became legally single before divorcing Kanye West later that year.

Nancy Chemtob, a New York City family law attorney, previously told Business Insider that bifurcated judgments allow couples to move forward with their single lives while sorting through the more complex details of their divorces, which can take years.

She said celebrities like Kardashian popularizing the term could lead to more people requesting to be legally single.

It grants couples more independence

Divorce can be a nightmare. In cases like Pitt and Jolie's, which involved splitting child custody and shared homes, the process can take years.

Being legally single doesn't give couples the ability to fully go their separate ways. In Jolie's case, she had to stay in Los Angeles because of her divorce proceedings, but it allows couples to change their names and legally remarry even if their divorce isn't settled yet.

It can draw out divorce even more

Most divorces don't involve bifurcation — it's granted on a case-by-case basis, and not all state laws permit it. Legal singlehood is often granted in California compared to other states, which require more specific reasons like complicated financial issues or infidelity.

The pros are clear: It gives spouses more autonomy in a process that isn't fully in their control. Kardashian asked to become legally single after West ignored her divorce requests.

While it can help couples emotionally move on faster, it has some drawbacks. It can provide incentives to delay custody or asset decisions, ultimately making the divorce more expensive. Jolie and Pitt didn't finalize their divorce until five years after becoming legally single.