• I couldn't believe it when I learned that I could get 15 hours of free preschool in the UK.
• I'd spent thousands of dollars on childcare in the US that didn't compare in quality to the UK's.
• Saving $700 per month on childcare in the UK wasn't just one of the many benefits.

When my husband was stationed in England for his Air Force assignment in 2018, we lived on a single military income.

So, I was both shocked and delighted to learn that we could receive 15 hours of free preschool for our 3-year-old.

As a mom of five children, I'm no stranger to the costly preschool and day care situation.

I'm used to exorbitant day care costs in the US

When our twins were 2, they went to full-time day care during my last semester of graduate school in Virginia. My entire graduate assistant stipend went to childcare expenses and didn't even cover it all.

Later, when our twins were in elementary school, I started teaching online classes so I could be at home with our toddler and newborn sons. However, juggling motherhood and my career left me teetering between guilt at never being enough and burnout from trying to do it all.

I finally put my 2-year-old in a two-morning-a-week preschool, hoping I could frantically grade papers during those precious hours while my newborn napped. It never worked out as well as I'd hoped, and the several hundred dollars a month we were spending for childcare felt wasted.

Needless to say, when I found out we would get 15 hours of free preschool a week in England, I couldn't believe my ears.

I never could have afforded the quality of day care we got in England in the US

During our application interview at Busy Bees Nursery School, located mere minutes from our house in Mildenhall, England, I felt like it wasn't real. I double checked with the folks at the nursery: Free? Are you sure? We're Americans. It's still free?

Yes. In the United Kingdom, every child between 9 months to 2 years of age is eligible for 15 hours of free childcare each week.

As we walked back to the car after confirming our spot at Busy Bees, one thought would not leave my mind: I could never afford this preschool in the US.

The property was overflowing with flowers. There were birds, bunnies, and llamas for the children to interact with daily. Outside play was as integral as academics, and my son could take swimming lessons at their indoor pool for a mere £5 (About $6.20) per week.

I felt like I had won the preschool lottery. I also felt a deep sadness.

I remembered all the research I'd done in the US, scrolling through websites of beautiful Montessori, outdoor, and academically advanced schools that we could never afford.

We saved $500 to $700 a month in childcare

Looking back, I'm satisfied with the US childcare we found, and thankful that they were safe and happy while I was working.

However, when I saw all that the UK preschool offered to our 3-year-old, after having experienced American day care and preschool with our older three sons, I had a revelation: What if programs like this were available to all American children? What a difference it would make.

Compared to our day care and preschool expenses we paid for in the US, our family saved $500 to $700 a month during the year my son went to preschool in the UK.

However, more than saving money, the English preschool afforded our family a priceless experience. It gave my son the opportunity to make friends and have experiences that I couldn't give him while I was adjusting to a new country and culture.

The hours I spent child-free also allowed me to socialize and build friendships sans kids, as well as rest during a difficult pregnancy with my fifth child.

Back in the US, I miss UK childcare

My daughter, who was born in the UK, never got to experience the joy of going to Busy Bees Nursery as we were stationed back in the States when she was young.

When she turned 3, I researched and toured preschools for her and we once again paid several hundred dollars a month for her program.

Although we loved her preschool, I couldn't help miss her brother's preschool and all of the amazing educational and extracurricular opportunities it gifted him and our family.

The community and social support I received as a parent in the UK — that I didn't even have to pay for — lifted a burden I didn't realize was crushing me as a mom of young children.

I saw firsthand how the infrastructure the UK has built supports families and schools to build stronger communities, and it opened my eyes to the ways the US could do better in supporting families with young children.

• Emily San José, 34, raised her first child in Oregon where she was a middle school teacher.
• Her family moved to Spain when her second child was four months old.
• She prefers living in Spain because of lower childcare costs and a more kid-friendly culture.

When I lived in the US, my C-section scar hadn't fully healed when I had to return to work after giving birth to my son. Now that my family lives in Spain, I can't believe I went through that.

In 2017, I was a middle school teacher in Oregon. I worked up until a few days before my delivery and took 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave.

Things weren't easier as he got older. Like many American parents, we struggled with costs like childcare, which only increased when we had our daughter in 2021 and our daycare costs more than doubled.

A few months after she was born, a new opportunity arose: our family could move to Spain. My husband's job was expanding to Europe, and we saw this as an opportunity to move closer to his family.

So, when my daughter was four months old, our family of five relocated to Madrid. Caring for a baby in each country, the differences are striking. While I miss a few things about the US, Spain makes raising kids so much easier and more affordable for families.

I wish I'd given birth in Spain

While I never gave birth in Spain, I've spoken to many moms who have. It's unheard of for pregnant women to work up until the last minute, as I did. In Spain, women usually take the last month as leave.

Postpartum maternity leave is also longer in Spain. The US is the only developed country not to offer guaranteed paid parental leave. In Spain, everyone, including fathers, is given 16 weeks of parental leave. In addition to being fully paid, the money isn't taxed, so parents receive even more money than in their usual paychecks during that time as a way to support families.

When they return to work, mothers get an hour a day of "lactation leave," guaranteed by federal law, until their child is nine months old. If a mother has kids under 12, she can also opt to request working reduced hours (with a pay cut).

Having so much flexibility means parents get to spend more time with their kids in the first few months of their lives. I wish I had more of that time with my kids when they were born in the US.

Childcare is much more affordable

When we lived in the US, we spent $1,800 on daycare per month for our son. When we had our daughter, we added on $1,900 for her spot, a little extra because she was an infant. That brought our monthly daycare costs to $3,700 — more than our mortgage. Being on a teacher's salary and not making that much, I sometimes wondered if I should drop out of the workforce and become a stay-at-home mom instead of spending the money on daycare.

While daycare isn't free in Spain, it's a lot more affordable. We paid €500 for our daughter. For our son, who was old enough to start going to school, we chose to put him in the same private school his older brother attended, which cost €300. For two young children, the total costs were €800, or around $830 a month, which was easier for us to swing even with me taking a pay cut.

Additionally, families with three or more children are entitled to a Tarjeta Familia Numerosa, or "Large Family Card." This card has given us many discounts, including on train tickets, groceries, electricity and water bills, and passport renewals. It helps us prevent small costs from snowballing.

In Spain, kids are part of adult society

Spain feels more family-friendly than the US because children are more integrated into adult society. While there are still some child-focused activities like zoos and birthday parties, it's much more normal to see children in adult spaces like bars and restaurants.

This starts at school. Spanish school lunches include more adult meals like a vegetable purée appetizer, a main like chicken or fish with rice or potatoes, and then fruit or yogurt for dessert. The kids are also taught table manners. Not only are they less picky — my three-year-old now likes salads! — but it's easier to bring kids to restaurants because they know how to behave in public. It's very common for kids to join their parents for dinner, staying up late with the grown-ups.

Adults, in turn, seem more accepting of kids in public spaces here than in the US. If a young child is experiencing a tantrum on the street, parents don't rush as much to quiet them; it's accepted that small kids have lots of emotions and need to express them.

I experienced the opposite when we visited Oregon this past Christmas break. I took my daughter to see "The Nutcracker" with my friend and her daughter, who is around the same age as mine. We took them to a coffee shop before the show, and the girls were excited and dancing around. A man looked agitated, so we told them to keep it down. When he got up to leave, he muttered "brats" at them.

It was such an eye-opening experience. While not everyone in America is like that man, adults in Europe seem more tolerant of kids. Sure, parents step in when their children are misbehaving. There's also a cultural understanding that kids are kids and that they belong in public spaces, too.

Spain isn't perfect, but it's easier for families

Other than my family in Oregon, I miss certain conveniences of living in the US. It's so easy to pick up last-minute items from Target or have something delivered via Instacart, especially as a working mom.

As an immigrant, I also find it challenging to navigate the bureaucracy in Spain. Luckily, I used to live in Spain when I was younger, so I had some experience, and my husband and stepson are originally from Spain and can help me. Still, government paperwork can be more daunting than in the States. The experience even inspired me to cofound a company called Mother Euro to help American mothers deal with similar challenges when they move to Europe.

Overall, I'm grateful that we moved to Spain when we did. We have an easier time as parents, and it's great to live in a society that prioritizes families.