Privacy-focused messaging app Signal has been flying high in the Dutch app stores this past month, often sitting at the top as the most downloaded free app on iOS and Android across all categories, per data from multiple app-tracking platforms such as Sensor Tower. The app has experienced surges in popularity over the years, often […]

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• Marianna Sachse, 45, is an American who gave birth to her second child in the Netherlands.
• She noticed that strangers would intervene to give her advice or help watch her kids.
• Overall, she liked that the culture was more focused on collectively raising kids.

One of my first enduring memories of the Netherlands was a stranger asking to cradle my baby.

Months after my family relocated from Philadelphia to Maastricht, a small Dutch city, we went out to eat. I was six weeks postpartum after having my second child. My husband, six-year-old son, newborn, and I shared a communal table with an older couple, who had finished their meals.

The woman chatted with her husband, then turned to us. Would we like for them to hold our baby so we could take a break?

At first, I thought it was odd. Raising my first infant in the US, I never encountered someone I'd never met before offering to help like this. Still, I wanted to lean into a new culture. It was remembering my own mother, who loved kids and died a few years prior. I thought, "This woman seems just like her." I inherently trusted this woman I'd never met before.

I gave her my baby. "I'll hand him back when he gets fussy," she said. My husband and I ate in a moment of peace, with our son staring up at this stranger lovingly holding his brother.

In the four years we lived in the Netherlands, we learned that this is more of a parenting norm than a random act of kindness. I regularly witnessed adults intervening to help parents out, whether by watching their kids or giving tips.

Now, living in Washington, DC, I miss this part of Dutch culture. It helped me become a happier and more relaxed parent, and my kids become more independent.

Raising kids is a collective effort

When my husband was recruited to work in a Dutch firm in 2016, I was nervous about relocating while I was pregnant. My doctor reassured me: I couldn't pick a better country for childbirth, he said.

I learned he was right. The Netherlands is famous for its "kraamzorg" or doula system, where parents can buy doula packages before, during, or after giving birth. For our home birth and eight days of very involved, in-home postpartum care, we paid under $2,000.

Doulas in the Netherlands not only care for the baby but also the mother, looking out for medical complications and offering guidance for first-time parents. They also find small ways to make parents more comfortable. Ours also vacuumed our house, walked our dog, and took the baby so I could shower. To me, the lack of privacy was worth getting so much support.

I quickly saw that this community-centered attitude toward childcare extends beyond childbirth. I regularly witnessed other parents jumping in to supervise kids on the playground or play with them.

Sometimes, they would chime in to give me advice. When I rode bikes with my older son, I learned that the Dutch consider it safest to stay next to your child, not behind them, as I initially did. A stranger taught me that I should ride with one hand on my child to teach them how to stay in the bike lane properly.

As a parent in the Netherlands, it's normal to accept help — even in the form of mild critique.

Fewer screens in restaurants

Another striking difference I noticed in the Netherlands is how kids seemed to be truly seen as members of society — and were accommodated as such.

Almost every restaurant we went to, including upscale ones with white tablecloths, had a designated corner for kids to play in. It can include toys or coloring books, and sometimes adults even volunteer to play with the kids. It's easy for parents to watch their children from afar while also unwinding at dinner.

Everywhere we went understood that kids have lots of energy and can't sit at a table or in a high chair for that long. Striking this compromise helped us, and other parents, bring our kids to public spaces without feeling overwhelmed by tantrums. Back in the US, I'd tag-team with friends to take turns walking our kids outside when they inevitably needed to move. It was manageable, but not exactly relaxing.

Other American parents mitigate meltdowns by giving their kids tablets or phones. In the Netherlands, I saw fewer screens at restaurants because parents had other means to keep their kids happy. It was nice to go out and know that if our kids got tired of sitting with the adults, they could go color and play with other kids instead of watching YouTube.

Parents can relax more

Because raising kids is seen as a community effort, there were times when parents would discipline strangers' kids if they witnessed them being mean to another child or behaving poorly in public. The Dutch will call your kid out if they're being rude or unkind toward others. They might also correct you as a parent.

I loved it. As an American, there have been times when I've wondered where a kid's parent is or why they're hitting other children. I would be terrified to say something in the US. It's just not a norm, and I feel like I could put my safety at risk by interjecting.

In the US, our self-sufficiency gives us the freedom to make our own decisions, whether we choose gentle parenting or homeschooling. It also comes with downsides.

In our small Dutch city, I was laid back when my seven-year-old son walked home alone from school because I knew that if he was in an unsafe situation, an adult would help. In the US, it's not uncommon for parents to be nervous about their 12-year-olds hanging out in the neighborhood by themselves. There's a lot less trust, and with that, kids are less independent.

We eventually moved back to the US to be closer to family. During my time in the Netherlands, I learned a great parenting lesson: when we're willing to let others into our parenting space, everybody wins.

• I moved to the Netherlands from Colombia years ago.
• For my first birthday there, I received all secondhand items, which made me feel unappreciated.
• Over time, I saw this custom as thoughtful and meaningful, so I'm teaching my kid to embrace it.

I moved from Colombia to the Netherlands years ago and saw a lot more tulips and bicycles than ever before.

Fortunately, I also found community. When my friends came together to celebrate my first birthday in the Netherlands, they brought me beautifully wrapped presents.

However, I was caught off guard as I opened them: Almost every item — books, clothes, shoes, home decor — was used.

As my friends shared where they found the item and why they thought I'd like it, I struggled to wrap my head around the secondhand gifts.

I knew secondhand shopping was popular here, but I didn't realize it extended to gifts

I'd known many of my new neighbors prioritized buying things secondhand — and were especially proud of doing so when they got a good deal. And I get it: shopping secondhand can be less wasteful and a good way to save money.

However, I was surprised the secondhand-shopping culture also extended to gift-giving. I felt like my friends weren't truly appreciating me: Didn't they care enough to get me something new?

In the community I grew up in, it was not common to give secondhand gifts — especially for a birthday or the holidays. I'd feel embarrassed giving someone a secondhand item as a gift and doing so might even be seen as impolite

In the following weeks, though, I learned just how normal and common secondhand gift-giving is in my new community. I also began to see how nice it can really be.

After all, the effort and thoughtfulness behind a gift means more than a shiny new box and a price tag. The gifts I received were focused on my needs and desires.

It was nice that my friends thought so hard about what I might enjoy and that they spent so much time scouring marketplaces, apps, and thrift shops in search of the perfect gift for me.

It's pretty easy to order something new online, but shopping secondhand can take a lot of time and dedication.

I hope to pass this custom and its values to my daughter

I've since embraced giving and receiving secondhand gifts, and I'm teaching my daughter to do the same.

When she was born, most of the clothes and items she received from friends and family were secondhand, which further opened my eyes to how nice it is to have practical and intentional gifts regardless of where they came from.

When we shop for presents, I encourage both of us to think about what the recipient might actually need or enjoy instead of just picking something because it's trendy or new.

We've had so much fun searching for items in secondhand shops and online marketplaces and discovering unique gifts that we might never have found new.

This custom has also been a great way to remind myself of the importance of intention and thoughtfulness when it comes to parenting, too.

• Height varies widely around the world, but some countries tend to have taller citizens.
• Using medical data, Business Insider found the mean heights for the 25 tallest countries.
• Many European countries made the list, including Germany, Poland, and Croatia

Sultan Kösen, who hails from Turkey, is nearly 8 feet 3 inches tall and may be the tallest person on the planet.

Despite his impressive stature, his country isn't among those with the tallest people, according to the medical database from the NCD Risk Factor Collaboration.

From 1985 to 2019, the project collected height, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and other health metrics from over 2,500 population surveys across 193 countries.

The NCD lists the mean heights for 19-year-old men and women in each country. Averaging these two figures gives a rough idea of how tall the typical person is in the country.

Notably, the US isn't on the list. It ranked 58th for women, at 5 feet 4.29 inches (163.3 cm), and 47th for men at 5 feet 9.65 inches (176.9 cm).

These are the 25 countries that (literally) came out on top.

25. Greece's mean height is 5 feet 7.93 inches (172.55 cm).

The mean height for men from Greece is 5 feet 10.59 inches (179.3 cm).

The mean height for women from Greece is 5 feet 5.28 inches (165.8 cm).

24. Austria's mean height is 5 feet 7.99 inches (172.7 cm).

The mean height for men from Austria is 5 feet 10.28 inches (178.5 cm).

The mean height for women from Austria is 5 feet 5.71 inches (166.9 cm).

22. Belarus' mean height is 5 feet 8.03 inches (172.8 cm).

The mean height for men from Belarus is 5 feet 10.35 inches (178.7 cm).

The mean height for women from Belarus is 5 feet 5.71 inches (166.9 cm).

22. Cook Islands' mean height is 5 feet 8.03 inches (172.8 cm).

The mean height for men from the Cook Islands is 5 feet 10.19 inches (178.3 cm).

The mean height for women from the Cook Islands is 5 feet 5.87 inches (167.3 cm).

21. Bermuda's mean height is 5 feet 8.07 inches (172.9 cm).

The mean height for men from Bermuda is 5 feet 10.75 inches (179.7 cm).

The mean height for women from Bermuda is 5 feet 5.39 inches (166.1 cm).

19. Poland's mean height is 5 feet 8.21 inches (173.25 cm).

The mean height for men from Poland is 5 feet 11.14 inches (180.7 cm).

The mean height for women from Poland is 5 feet 5.28 inches (165.8 cm).

19. Germany's mean height is 5 feet 8.21 inches (173.25 cm).

The mean height for men from Germany is 5 feet 10.98 inches (180.3 cm).

The mean height for women from Germany is 5 feet 5.43 inches (166.2 cm).

18. Norway's mean height is 5 feet 8.29 inches (173.45 cm).

The mean height for men from Norway is 5 feet 11.06 inches (180.5 cm).

The mean height for women from Norway is 5 feet 5.51 inches (166.4 cm).

16. Finland's mean height is 5 feet 8.33 inches (173.55 cm).

The mean height for men from Finland is 5 feet 11.1 inches (180.6 cm).

The mean height for women from Finland is 5 feet 5.55 inches (166.5 cm).

16. Dominica's mean height is 5 feet 8.33 inches (173.55 cm).

The mean height for men from Dominica is 5 feet 10.94 inches (180.2 cm).

The mean height for women from Dominica is 5 feet 5.71 inches (166.9 cm).

 

 

 

15. Sweden's mean height is 5 feet 8.35 inches (173.6 cm).

The mean height for men from Sweden is 5 feet 11.06 inches (180.5 cm).

The mean height for women from Sweden is 5 feet 5.63 inches (166.7 cm).

 

 

 

13. Ukraine's mean height is 5 feet 8.43 inches (173.8 cm).

The mean height for men from Ukraine is 5 feet 11.26 inches (181 cm).

The mean height for women from Ukraine is 5 feet 5.59 inches (166.6 cm).

13. Croatia's mean height is 5 feet 8.43 inches (173.8 cm).

The mean height for men from Croatia is 5 feet 11.18 inches (180.8 cm).

The mean height for women from Croatia is 5 feet 5.67 inches (166.8 cm).

12. Slovakia's mean height is 5 feet 8.52 inches (174.05 cm).

The mean height for men from Slovakia is 5 feet 11.26 inches (181 cm).

The mean height for women from Slovakia is 5 feet 5.79 inches (167.1 cm).

11. Slovenia's mean height is 5 feet 8.54 inches (174.1 cm).

The mean height for men from Slovenia is 5 feet 11.26 inches (181 cm).

The mean height for women from Slovenia is 5 feet 5.83 inches (167.2 cm).

10. Lithuania's mean height is 5 feet 8.56 inches (174.15 cm).

The mean height for men from Lithuania is 5 feet 11.14 inches (180.7 cm).

The mean height for women from Lithuania is 5 feet 5.98 inches (167.6 cm).

9. Serbia's mean height is 5 feet 8.7 inches (174.5 cm).

The mean height for men from Serbia is 5 feet 11.14 inches (180.7 cm).

The mean height for women from Serbia is 5 feet 6.26 inches (168.3 cm).

8. Czech Republic's mean height is 5 feet 8.74 inches (174.6 cm).

The mean height for men from the Czech Republic is 5 feet 11.34 inches (181.2 cm).

The mean height for women from the Czech Republic is 5 feet 6.14 inches (168 cm).

6. Bosnia and Herzegovina's mean height is 5 feet 8.9 inches (175 cm).

The mean height for men from Bosnia & Herzegovina is 5 feet 11.85 inches (182.5 cm).

The mean height for women from Bosnia & Herzegovina is 5 feet 5.94 inches (167.5 cm).

6. Latvia's mean height is 5 feet 8.9 inches (175 cm).

The mean height for men from Latvia is 5 feet 11.34 inches (181.2 cm).

The mean height for women from Latvia is 5 feet 6.46 inches (168.8 cm).

5. Iceland's mean height is 5 feet 9.09 inches (175.5 cm).

The mean height for men from Iceland is 5 feet 11.69 inches (182.1 cm).

The mean height for women from Iceland is 5 feet 6.5 inches (168.9 cm).

4. Denmark's mean height is 5 feet 9.17 inches (175.7 cm).

The mean height for men from Denmark is 5 feet 11.61 inches (181.9 cm).

The mean height for women from Denmark is 5 feet 6.73 inches (169.5 cm).

3. Estonia's mean height is 5 feet 9.19 inches (175.75 cm).

The mean height for men from Estonia is 5 feet 11.97 inches (182.8 cm).

The mean height for women from Estonia is 5 feet 6.42 inches (168.7 cm).

2. Montenegro's mean height is 5 feet 9.55 inches (176.65 cm).

The mean height for men from Montenegro is 6 feet 0.17 inches (183.3 cm).

The mean height for women from Montenegro is 5 feet 6.93 inches (170 cm).

 

 

1. The Netherlands's mean height is 5 feet 9.72 inches (177.1 cm).

The mean height for men from the Netherlands is 6 feet 0.36 inches (183.8 cm).

The mean height for women from the Netherlands is 5 feet 7.09 inches (170.4 cm).

A note on mean versus average heights: Using mean heights instead of averages gives a sense of which countries have the most people who are tall. For example, many Icelandic men are 5 feet 11 inches. 

The list would look different ranked by average heights. The Federal Statistical Office of Germany calculates heights by average, for example, and the results would bump the country up several spots in the rankings. 

This post was originally published in 2019 and was updated on December 18, 2024.