When my son was little, his father and I went through a custody trial and agreed on a holiday-sharing schedule. It outlined that if my son spent a holiday with me, the following year, he would spend that same holiday with his dad. So if I got Christmas Eve and Day with him one year, the next, his father would spend those days with him.

Initially, my son's father and I stuck to the original holiday-sharing schedule. I observed that while my son never had a preference for who he spent the holidays with, he did miss the parent he didn't get to see. After a few years of splitting holidays up, I was compelled to work with his father on a better arrangement. While it doesn't always work out perfectly, we have found that it's best for our son to spend time with each of his parents on any given holiday.

We do our best to come up with a plan that works for the whole family

Our new arrangement is informal, and I think we each try to work with each other based on what's going on with our respective families that year and how we divided up the holidays the year prior. While initially we had every holiday divided up until my son turns 18, I think the way we work with each other now is far more realistic.

One downside to co-parenting around the holidays is that I always have to tell other people that I need to talk to my son's father before we make any definite plans. Sometimes, I've wished I could just book a vacation over the winter break. However, I've realized that not only does his father deserve to spend time with his son on the holiday as much as I do, I know our son prefers it that way, too.

My immediate family understands that I may not have my son for certain traditions, so they factor this in when they're making their plans. They will ask me ahead of time on which days or times I'll have my son; not only are his father and I working together to make sure my son gets to see most of his extended family, but our families do their best to work with us, too.

It doesn't always work perfectly, so there have been exceptions

There are certain holidays where the division is an easy decision, such as Thanksgiving. Growing up, I always liked watching the parade in the morning. Every year, I had an aunt who would suggest we just eat our pie for breakfast, but no one ever went through with it.

When I had my son, I had the opportunity to make our own traditions. So now, he and I make pumpkin and apple pies the night before Thanksgiving and then have some for breakfast the next morning while we watch the parade. Since his father's family has a big dinner in the afternoon, we usually just split the day in half so that my son is with me in the morning and with his dad in the afternoon.

It might not be a perfect system, as my son is missed at our family's dinner on Thanksgiving, but after co-parenting for a decade, I've come to accept that his father and I always need to work together to come up with a plan that works best for our son, even if that means dividing up every holiday. Sometimes it doesn't work out, so we've learned to address every holiday individually.

Last year, my son's father wanted to take him up to New England to spend a week with his family that lives up there, and I was hesitant. My son and I had never spent a Thanksgiving apart before. When I asked my son if he wanted to go, he was excited. Not only does he rarely get to visit with those family members, but we live in Florida, so he had never seen snow before. I made sure he understood that he and I would spend Thanksgiving apart, and while he was sad about that part, we agreed that because it was a special opportunity for him, he should go.

Our new agreement feels right

This year, his father asked for Christmas Eve since I had my son for Christmas Eve last year. Then, my son will come home Christmas morning and spend the rest of the holiday with me, which is what he did with his dad last year. While I love to have my son on Christmas Eve, it's nice when I have him on Christmas Day, too. After spending alternate years without him on either of those days, I think our way of dividing up the holidays works out so much better.

Not only do we each get to share our traditions with our son every year instead of every other year, but my son can count on spending the holidays with both of his parents. It's always a little sad for him when he is separated from one of us, and that emotion is amplified on holidays. But I think it comforts him to know that his father and I will always work together to make sure he doesn't have to spend the holidays without seeing one of his parents.

• I was worried about how my adult children and new partner would bond and get along.
• Once we started traveling together, though, we got closer and really felt like a family.
• By traveling, created shared memories while learning more about each other.

When I first met my partner almost 10 years ago, my two daughters were in college and not home much.

Once he became a fixture in my life and they were home more, though, the complexities of blending a family became real. It wasn't easy for them to share our space and get to know this man — nor was it easy for him to navigate his new partner's children.

We finally found our groove once we started traveling together.

To start, we took a short trip (two days) with just the four of us — and we chose a place close to home.

I wasn't sure how we'd all get along, if it would feel awkward, if there'd be arguments, or if we'd all want to do different things. My partner also confessed a feeling of dread as we approached the trip: What if it was a disaster?

As our trip began, though, I noticed how relaxed we all felt away from all the day-to-day stresses of home and work. This immediately made it easier to connect.

Travelling as a group forces us to spend more time together

Once my youngest daughter moved in with her serious boyfriend, we saw a little less of her, which made building family bonds harder.

We were keen to welcome her boyfriend into the family and so, we thought, what better way to do that than by traveling together? We all spent a few days in the English Lake District in an old rental house, exploring the lakes and browsing antique stores.

Staying in a house together for a few days forced us to really get to know each other and connect. My partner and my daughter's boyfriend got on better than any of us could have hoped, and we all loved being in the one house.

I don't think anything brings you closer than sharing experiences, and that was definitely the case for our family.

We've found out more about each other through travel

We've gone wine tasting in Yorkshire, toured the Roman Baths in Bath, and toasted marshmallows over a fire in the Cheddar countryside.

Sharing all these new experiences together and doing things we might not do on our own — or might never even imagine doing — brought us closer together.

Along the way, we've learned and shared who each of us was and what we liked and didn't like.

We learned more about my daughter's boyfriend's love for skateboarding at an exhibition in Wales. My eldest daughter introduced us to her love for Ethiopian food in London.

At one point, my partner shared how much he enjoys a cold dip in the sea in Wales in October. Then, we all tried it.

As we each ran toward the waves, shrieking at the cold water and laughing at each other's reactions, I knew traveling together had made us closer than ever.

• In a personal essay, Lilly Jay, Ethan Slater's ex-wife, opened up about their divorce.
• In 2023, news broke that Slater was dating his "Wicked" costar, Ariana Grande.
• Jay said the movie's recent premiere reminds her of the saddest time of her life.

Lilly Jay, a perinatal psychologist and ex-wife of Wicked star Ethan Slater, has spoken for the first time about their break-up and being thrust into the spotlight.

In July 2023, rumors circulated that Slater was dating Ariana Grande, his "Wicked" costar, leading to Jay and Slater separating (though one source told People that Jay and Slater were already separated when the relationship began).

Jay published an essay in The Cut on Thursday, describing her experience in the aftermath of their divorce, which became official in September. She wonders whether it impacted her career, after she was passed over for a job and canceled on by a client.

Jay and Slater, who met in high school and started dating as college sophomores in 2012, had a son in August 2022. After the news broke of Slater and Grande's relationship, Jay told Page Six that Grande is "not a girl's girl" and that her family was "collateral damage." Since then, she refrained from divulging many details, including in her recent essay.

In her new essay, Jay did not speak directly about the details of Slater and Grande's relationship, including the exact timeline. Instead, she broke down how their very public divorce affected her, and the peace she's had to make with her life being less private since.

Grande and Slater did not immediately respond to Business Insider's request for comments.

She moved to the UK for Slater's career

Because "Wicked" was shot in the UK, Jay said that she moved to London with Slater when their son was two months old.

She said that she knew all about how vulnerable marriages are in the early stages of parenthood but still "confidently" moved for Slater's career.

"Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn't understand the growing distance between us," Jay wrote.

She feared experiencing postpartum depression and a general loss of control. Then "one day in London, I looked up and found that they had both arrived," she said, brought on by the "sudden public downfall" of her marriage.

The "Wicked" premiere was tough to deal with

The success of "Wicked," which premiered in November, makes it hard to avoid, Jay said. As does the extensive press around it, including a long list of brand collaborations.

Jay said that she still struggles with the reminders. "Days with my son are sunny," she said. "Days when I can't escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker."

Grande has also spoken out about the relationship, referencing Slater in her last album. "It definitely doesn't get any easier," Grande told Vanity Fair in reference to dealing with tabloid rumors. Kristin Chenoweth, who originated Grande's "Wicked" role on Broadway and appeared in the film, also defended Grande. "Nobody ever knows what's going on for real," Chenoweth said.

She said Slater is a present father

Jay and Slater are now co-parenting their son, something Slater described as "an interesting thing to navigate."

Jay said they are both fully committed to being there for their child. "While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not," she said. "Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided."

Despite her unique challenges in early motherhood, Jay said she is optimistic about her future with her son. "Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child," she said.

• My husband and I had been together for almost 14 years when he came out to me.
• We tried to stay together at first before deciding to divorce.
• It was painful, but we both love each other's new partners and spend time together frequently.

My husband told me he had something he wanted to tell me after dinner.

"Why can't you just tell me now?" I asked.

"Because I just want to wait," he said.

I had a bad feeling.

"So what is it?" I asked the minute the table was cleared.

"Here's the thing," he said, and then he let a few beats pass without talking. I could tell he was nervous. "I need for you to know that I have never been exclusively heterosexual." He paused. "I need to be able to explore that part of me more."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I was filled with anxiety. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

It was 1990, and my husband and I were in our mid-30s. We had been together for almost 14 years. I thought we had a great marriage. We talked and laughed and traveled, and shared a love of music and books and food and nature. He was a great dad to our daughters, who were 2 and 5 at the time. He satisfied me intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I never had a reason to question his sexuality.

"I'm sorry I never had the courage to tell you this before," he said.

He told me he felt he had no choice but to keep his desires hidden, growing up in the machismo world of Miami's Little Havana in the 60s. He thought he was gay until he was 23 — until he met me. He had never had unsafe sex, he assured me, but he also had not been faithful.

I was surprised I wasn't mad at him. I know my rage would have been infernal had he told me had slept with other women. But this felt different. This felt like a dark secret he had carried with shame for over 20 years. I just felt sad for him — and for me.

We tried to stay together at first

At first, we weren't sure we would have to split up. We still loved each other and enjoyed spending time together, including in bed. I joined a support group for straight people married to gay or bisexual spouses. It turned out I was not alone.

I sought out academic journals and read everything I could related to bisexual people and marriage. I wanted to know our prognosis. Not good. Studies showed that the couples who tended to make it were those who knew the full picture when they first got together. We weren't in that category.

I wondered what an open marriage would feel like. I viewed myself as an open-minded person, but I had a hunch my husband's nonmonogamy would be too painful for me. Could I handle him going on vacation without me? Not coming home at night? I was doubtful. We decided to play it by ear. We'd see how things progressed and then reassess.

But really, nothing progressed. We worked, we took care of the kids, and we continued to live as we had before, he told me, as though nothing had changed. But everything had changed.

Almost exactly one year later, it became clear that clinging to the status quo would not work. I knew I had two choices, and both were excruciating: stay with my husband knowing I would always have to share him, or end my marriage and be alone. If I left, my new world might be bleak and lonely, but at least it would hold the possibility of some future joy. At 35, I was still young. I wanted to find a relationship where I would feel like enough. I didn't want to compete with someone else. I wanted to be the only one.

We both came to this realization simultaneously. We sat together on the couch one dismal night. We didn't even have to say anything. I realized I could not flourish in this union, and he realized he could not live his life fully with me by his side. We held each other and cried.

Our separation was slow

I remember the last week we lived together before he moved out. There should be a name for this strange period. A Divorceymoon, maybe. A time when instead of starting to build your life together, you must begin to take it apart. Separating the books, photos, and posters was the easy part. Far harder was cutting up the fabric of our shared life. Soon, I would stop seeing him when he came home from work. Soon, I would wake up alone in the morning. Soon, the marriage would be over.

The first few weeks of starting a life apart were more painful than I expected. The house was so quiet when the kids were with him, and I was always happy when they came back. I felt like I had not understood true loneliness until then. To have a full family one day, and the next day, to be alone.

The separation continued at a gradual pace. We still spent time together as a family, going out to eat or to the playground with the kids. We went camping on the Cape. Once, we even traveled to Spain together. And then, a few months later, he met someone. Soon we were spending less time with each other, and I missed him terribly. But then, a few months after that, I met someone too. We had now become two separate families.

We've incorporated our new big loves into our big family

Years passed, and relationships came and went for both of us. We rarely met each other's love interests. They rarely joined us at our shared meals. They didn't feel like part of the joint family we still had together.

But then my ex met his big love. And two years later, so did I.

I guess it shouldn't have surprised me that I liked my ex's new boyfriend and that he liked mine — and that the two boyfriends liked each other. We all seemed to have the same sense of humor and spent a lot of time laughing, and often had dinner at each other's houses. Usually, I'm not a big fan of socializing with other couples. It often feels unbalanced because I rarely like both spouses. But this didn't feel like that. This felt like family.

It's now been more than 20 years that the four of us have been hanging out together, sometimes every week; sometimes more. Recently our gatherings have gotten much larger. I've picked up a stepdaughter along the way, so now we are often joined by our three daughters, three of their spouses, and three little grandkids. Last year I had to buy a bigger table and four sets of benches.

These days, the grandkids hold center stage at the table. Once the food is cleared, we'll play a round of Junior Mad Libs which will make everyone shriek with laughter. Then later, my husband and my ex will pull out their guitars and everyone will join in for a raucous round of Wheels on the Bus. Though there's not a specific name for what we are to each other, the way there are for relationships like "daughter-in-law" or "uncle," the term "family" still fits — perhaps even better than it did before.

• Christina and Josh Hall are getting divorced less than three years after they got married.
• Josh was Christina's third husband, as she was previously married to two other HGTV stars.
• In a clip of "The Flip Off," Christina shared details of their split with Tarek El Moussa.

When Christina Hall celebrated her marriage to Josh Hall in September 2022, she said she was more certain than ever her life was on track.

In a deleted Instagram post, Christina wrote, "Everything in life has led me to where I am right now, which is exactly where I want to be."

Less than three years after they were legally wed, the Halls have both filed for divorce, and Christina has deleted nearly all traces of Josh from her social media.

Before their split, Christina and Josh were supposed to film a new HGTV series, "The Flip Off," with Christina's ex, Tarek El Moussa, and his wife, Heather Rae El Moussa.

In a new clip of the series, which will premiere on January 29, 2025, Christina gets emotional and tearfully tells Tarek about her breakup with Josh, revealing that their children asked her to leave him.

Business Insider broke down the timeline of Josh and Christina's relationship, their sudden separation, and how the split impacts them professionally.

When contacted for this story, a spokesperson for Josh told BI, "Josh Hall has no comment about this matter. He hopes to resolve these matters in private, not through the press."

A representative for Christina declined to comment.

Christina and Josh first became romantically involved in the spring of 2021

According to US Weekly, Christina and Josh first met at a real-estate conference sometime in the late 2010s, but they didn't start dating until the spring of 2021.

Christina was married to her "Flip or Flop" costar, Tarek El Moussa, from 2009 to 2018, and they had two children together — Taylor and Brayden — before they separated in 2016. She married Ant Anstead at the end of 2018, and they welcomed their son Hudson together before they split in September 2020.

Christina and Josh did not initially announce they were dating, but she shared a photo they took together in March 2021 on her Instagram in March of the following year, confirming they were an item by sometime that spring.

Page Six photographed them together publicly in July 2021. On the same day the photos were published, Christina addressed their relationship in a now-deleted Instagram post, saying she wanted to keep it private from the media.

"I met Josh when I wasn't in a state of fear or fight-or-flight," she captioned the post. "When we met this past spring, the synchronicities hit us so hard and fast they were impossible to ignore. I felt immediately crazy protective over him and wanted to keep him for myself and get to know each other before the tornado (media attention) hit."

"We decided whats in the past, is in the past. We aren't looking at all the nonsense online," she added. "So yes 'another relationship' and guess what. I'm 38 – I'll do what I want."

The couple continued their relationship in the public eye, announcing in September 2021 that they were engaged with Instagram photos Christina shared from a trip they took to Mexico.

They shared that they got married in April 2022

Christina and Josh continued to share peeks at their life together on social media throughout the rest of 2021.

Representatives for the Halls confirmed Christina and Josh were married on April 5, 2022, after Christina changed her last name on social media from Haack, her maiden name, to Hall.

However, according to documents reviewed by BI, both Josh and Christina listed their marriage date as October 6, 2021, when they filed for divorce in July, indicating they were married before publicly sharing the news.

The Halls bought a $12 million mansion in Newport Beach, California, in May 2022, which Christina called their "long-term family home" in a since-deleted Instagram.

In September of the same year, they celebrated their marriage with a second wedding in Maui, Hawaii, surrounded by family and friends.

Josh became more involved in Christina's professional life throughout their relationship

In March 2022, Christina announced on Instagram in a now-deleted post that she and Josh were forming their own production company, Unbroken Productions. The name appeared to be a nod to Josh's Instagram, which has the handle @unbrokenjosh.

The company took over production of "Christina on the Coast" starting with season four and produced "Christina in the Country," both of which air on HGTV. Josh has appeared in both shows.

Speaking to BI in July 2023, Christina said it was an adjustment to be a producer because she had worked with her previous production company for a decade.

"It was a lot more work for me than anything in the past because we're co-producers. It's a lot more off-camera work than I'm used to," she said. "It's gonna be worth it, but it was a hard year."

Then, on May 15, HGTV announced Christina and Josh would star in a new series called "The Flip Off" with Tarek and Heather.

In its announcement, HGTV said the show would feature couples competing against each other in "a battle to see who can find, buy, renovate, and flip a house for the biggest financial gain."

The couple separated in July, and Josh filed for divorce first

According to paperwork reviewed by BI on July 17, Josh filed for divorce from Christina on July 12, listing their date of separation as July 8. He requested spousal support in his petition.

Christina deleted several posts that featured Josh from her Instagram when news of their separation went public on July 16, and she submitted a response and her own request for the dissolution of their marriage on July 23.

Christina listed their separation date as July 7, a day earlier than Josh did. Along with her divorce filing, she filed a request for order asking the court to grant her sole access to their Newport Beach home and two properties in Tennessee immediately.

Christina said she wanted sole access to the Newport Beach home primarily to protect her children.

"I do not want to have a situation where there is a misunderstanding or any conflict, especially in front of my children," she said in her filing.

In the RFO, Christina said that although the Newport Beach home is legally owned by both herself and Josh, it was purchased with money from the sale of her previous residence in Dana Point, California.

She added that Josh came to the home unscheduled and "took items" after their separation on July 7 and that he plugged in security cameras Christina intentionally unplugged per a request from his lawyer.

"Josh's attorney sent a letter demanding that I preserve electronic evidence without it being automatically deleted, so I unplugged cameras so the system would not automatically overwrite the hard drive," Christina wrote in her filing. "Each time Josh has returned to the house he has plugged the cameras back in, which would allow him to keep me and my children under surveillance. I object to him having that access into my home."

Christina also asked the court to make Josh return $35,000 to her

Christina asked the court to instruct Josh to return $35,000 that she said he transferred on July 8 "without my authorization" to the personal account he used before their marriage.

"On July 21, 2024, I learned that on July 8, 2024, which is the day after I communicated to Josh that I would be filing for dissolution, Josh contacted my professional property manager via text and stated 'Hi. For June payments, can we please get it sent to a different account when it's time? Thank you,'" she said, attaching a screenshot of the message to the filing.

"The statement 'can we please' is not accurate as I had no personal contact with Josh on July 8, 2024," Christina said in the RFO. "I would not have asked him to send himself my money the day after I told him we are getting divorced."

Christina also addressed Josh's request for spousal support in her RFO.

"I understand that at some point this Court may require that I pay some spousal support to Josh and reasonable attorney's fees to his counsel," she wrote. "However, it is my belief that this is a simple case with straightforward accounting over a short time period, any fees and costs should be minimal."

"Like all hard-working mothers, my life revolves around my children and my work," she continued. "It is my understanding that Josh has his own income and therefore he should not need any spousal support from me. He has sufficient assets of his own to pay his own attorney's fees and costs."

She said she was "shocked and concerned" that he transferred $35,000 of her "separate property money" to his personal account.

"The fact that this is the same date he now alleges to be our date of separation, even though it is actually July 07, 2024, makes it clear why he chose the next day," Christina said. "It makes me wonder what else I am not aware of as it relates to his financial situation and that is why I am having a full forensic accounting performed for the entire term of our marriage."

Christina opened up about the separation on social media

Christina shared a series of Instagram stories about her separation from Josh on July 25 and 26.

"Over here waiting for the typical Hired PR speech of 'how I was blindsided and how I'm working on myself and I'm taking time to heal at her ranch,'" Christina wrote in her story on July 25. "Meanwhile I'm over here not as nice and quiet as I used to be."

"I have worked my ass off to build this life for myself and my children and anyone who would try and take what they do not deserve/what they did NOT work for should be ashamed. An insecure man with a large ego can sure try and derail you — but 'still I rise,'" she said, appearing to quote Maya Angelou. "For those that aren't aware…divorces do not happen overnight.. & there is always a breaking point. This one is personal."

Then, on July 26, Christina responded to a TMZ article that quoted "a source close to" Josh. The unnamed source told the outlet that Josh was "blindsided" when Christina said she wanted a divorce and that she "stopped speaking to him after a disagreement."

Christina said in her post that Josh had not tried to contact her.

"I didn't block him — and I didn't see any missed calls or texts the next day," Christina wrote in her story. "Which happened to be my birthday. Strange – No flowers, no cards, no messages like 'Hope you have a nice birthday.'"

"Something's not adding up here," she added. "But I'm down to keep playing 'Christina Vs. The Victim' as I love this game."

She also responded to a separate TMZ article about the $35,000 Josh transferred to his account. TMZ reported that "a source close to Josh" said he transferred the money to pay bills "for their rental properties, which they co-owned."

Christina said she was the sole owner of the property in question.

"Pretty sure I bought this before I met you and a 1031 exchange," she wrote on Instagram. "Handled the bills? Like paid for them with your money? Uhh ya nooo. Def not."

On August 2, Josh shared a now-deleted photo of himself with his dog on Instagram, saying in the caption that he would "not publicly badmouth anyone" amid the divorce.

"I prefer privacy, especially during something as life-changing as a divorce I did not ask for," he wrote in his caption, appearing to confirm Christina requested their separation. "I will not publicly badmouth anyone, as people have families, friends, and others who respect and love them. Unfortunately, the internet is forever."

"We are real humans, this is our life and I am not here to entertain people I don't know with my private matters," Josh said. "Those details will be handled fairly behind closed doors with our respective counsels in due time. Those who know each of us, know who we are."

Josh also removed posts related to "The Flip Off" from his Instagram.

Josh questioned Christina's narrative in his response

Josh filed a response to Christina's RFO on August 29, though it appears he signed the document on August 15. In the response reviewed by BI, Josh said he was "generally unopposed to the relief Christina has requested.''

But he also accused Christina of using "scorched-earth divorce tactics." In his response, Josh said he did not transfer the $35,000 for his personal use, instead using it to manage their Franklin, Tennessee, property. However, he said a separate property manager handles day-to-day activities at the home.

"I made this request because I needed access to the rental income so I could continue to pay ongoing expenses and responsibilities related to the properties, which I directly handle," he said, pointing to expenses like paying housekeepers or internet services.

He also said he transferred the money after Christina removed his access to their joint American Express account and his access to his LLC account for their rental properties on July 7.

Josh also denied plugging in the cameras at the Newport Beach home after Christina disconnected them. In addition, he said he only went to the property twice in July to retrieve personal items. When he was there on July 15, he said he was "confronted by Christina and two of her friends."

"They proceeded to follow me around while recording me with their cellphones," he said in his response. "Christina began making financial threats toward me, demanding to know how much money I intend to 'steal' from her as part of a settlement in our case."

Josh's response also said that he went to the Newport home on August 2 to retrieve the remainder of his personal belongings, which he and Christina agreed upon through their lawyers.

"When I arrived on this date, Christina had notified the paparazzi, who were waiting for me outside the home," Josh said in his response. "Christina then spread lies through the press that she did 'not know' I would be coming to the house on that date. This can be disproved through documented communications between our lawyers, which I have reviewed."

"Unfortunately, Christina has continued to litigate our divorce case through the media, while I just wish to reach an amicable resolution, devoid of the tabloid drama," Josh said.

People published photos of Josh at the Newport Beach home, but the piece states the photos were taken on August 4, not August 2, as Josh's response states.

The court ordered Josh to return Christina's $35,000 — but also ordered her to pay him $100,000

A stipulation and order filed on September 4 temporarily resolved Christina's RFO and Josh's response before their divorce hearing on October 8.

The order granted Christina exclusive access to the Newport Beach and Nashville properties while allowing Josh to use their Franklin, Tennessee, home when short-term renters do not occupy it. It also gave Christina exclusive ownership over both their California and Tennessee LLCs.

The stipulation said that Josh would return "the remaining funds in his possession" of the $35,000 he transferred to his account on July 8 and provide Christina with his accounting information for that date.

In addition, Christina agreed to send Josh $100,000 as an "uncharacterized and unallocated sum" within 48 hours of the document's filing. The stipulation says he can use the money "for any purpose, including his interim financial needs as well as attorney's fees, costs and forensic accounting fees."

The Halls had three hearings in October regarding their divorce, with Josh attempting to block Christina's sale of their Franklin, Tennessee home. On November 13, People reported that Christina had taken the home back off the market.

Christina's ex Ant Anstead is appearing on 'The Flip Off'

Tarek and Heather Rae El Moussa told paparazzi in July that "production is still going as planned without Josh" for "The Flip Off," according to E! News.

In his response filed on August 29, Josh said he believes Christina "is also seeking to have me removed from a contractual agreement we entered into for the production of a new HGTV show, 'The Flip Off.'"

On Thursday, HGTV confirmed that Christina went forward competing against Heather and Tarek solo after she and Josh split.

Christina, Tarek, and Heather continued to share promos for the series without Josh throughout the fall. On November 7, Christina was photographed on the set of "The Flip Off" with her ex-husband Ant Anstead.

Christina and Anstead were estranged after their separation, going through a tumultuous custody battle over their son Hudson in 2022. But the pair seem to be on better terms following her split from Josh, with Christina re-following Anstead on Instagram in August, according to People. The outlet also reported that Christina told Backgrid she thinks Hudson "deserves" for his parents to "get along."

Christina also said it would be a "genius 'ratings' idea" to have Anstead on the series after a fan suggested he replace Josh in the comments of one of her Instagram posts in August.

HGTV also confirmed on Thursday that Anstead would appear on the series as a judge, along with other home improvement and reality stars like Amanza Smith from "Selling Sunset."

Christina said Josh was 'insecure' in a November interview

Despite the uncertainty surrounding "The Flip Off," Josh did appear in the season two premiere of HGTV's "Christina in the Country" on November 12. The series, which the Halls co-produced, was filmed before he and Christina separated.

The first episode of season two opened with the then-couple speaking at their Newport Beach home, deciding to head to Franklin, Tennessee, for a bit so Christina could renovate some home. They also looked at a house to flip together and decided to buy it as they chatted at a restaurant in the episode.

Christina posted about the season premiere on Instagram but didn't mention Josh as she shared her excitement for the season.

In an interview with Entertainment Tonight that aired on November 15, Christina said she "did not enjoy" filming with her ex when discussing "The Flip Off," saying she was glad he was no longer part of the series.

"It was not fun, to be honest," Christina said of filming with Josh. "I did not enjoy filming with him. So having split up made this, to be honest, so much easier."

Christina said "the show would have been hard to film" if she and Josh had stayed together partly because of his "jealousy over Tarek."

Heather echoed Christina's sentiments in a separate interview with ET.

"I don't want to be mean, but it was kind of nice to see him go," Heather said of Josh. Tarek added that Christina seems to have "recovered" from the split.

"Her energy is back," he said. "She's happy. She's excited about life. She's doing good."

Christina also said in her ET interview that Josh being "insecure" caused problems in their relationship.

"When someone is insecure by you and doesn't like to watch you win, that really, like, puts a damper on everything," Christina said.

"I feel like I was not shining as bright to try to not make him feel emasculated," she added. "Who wants to live like that?"

She also told ET she had been telling Josh for "at least a year" that "things were bad" despite his assertion that he was "blindsided" by their separation.

"For someone who says she moved on from Josh, Christina can't stop bringing him up," a source familiar with Josh told BI of the interview. "Josh has tried to move on with his life and has asked to keep the divorce private. Josh has no desire to play into any of this."

Christina opened up to Tarek about the split on 'The Flip Off'

HGTV announced on Thursday that "The Flip Off" will premiere on January 29, sharing a photo of Tarek, Heather, and Christina on Instagram.

The network also released a clip of the series ahead of its premiere, in which Christina shares with Tarek on camera that she and Josh broke up.

The scene appeared to be filmed at Christina's Newport Beach home, and she told Tarek after he arrived: "Josh and I officially split up."

She details the breakup to him, saying she and Josh had a "blow up" fight during which he put his "middle fingers" in her face.

A source close to Josh said he "has no public comment on private matters. Once again, Josh has moved on and does not want to live in the past. His life is not a reality show."

In her conversation with Tarek, Christina said that she and Josh had been struggling "for a long time." She also told him their children spoke to her about the relationship.

"The kids literally asked me to leave," Christina told Tarek. "They told me he's not nice to me. Why would I stick around?"

"I feel like I'm in a tornado all the time, and I just can't get out of it," she added.

Christina also seemed to reflect on the ups and downs of her life since she and Tarek separated in 2016 during the conversation.

"Everything since, like, 2016 has been so hard and so horrible," she said through tears. "It's really taken a really bad toll on me."

"I'm really sorry for shit, too," she told Tarek. "I really am. I just want you to know."

"I understand that feeling of being a little bit lost," Tarek responded. "And I acknowledge that I'm a big part, if not the entire part, of all of this."

Colorado star quarterback Shedeur Sanders wanted to celebrate with both his parents on senior day Friday. 

He wanted this so much he went to find his mom, Pilar, and convinced her to participate in the event, even though his father, head coach Deion Sanders, was there, according to dialogue between Shedeur and brother Shilo in a video posted to the official Shilo Sanders YouTube channel.

"My brother [Shedeur] just got my mom from the stands cause of the senior day, and we didn’t know we had to walk. They’re not gonna. That’s like World War III trying to get them to walk together," Shilo said. 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE SPORTS COVERAGE ON FOXNEWS.COM

Shedeur and Shilo walked with Deion across the field during their celebration, and they met their mother on the other side, according to the video. Deion patted his sons on the back when they got close to Pilar, then walked away quickly. 

Pilar then hugged her boys at the middle of the field as they celebrated and posed for photos. 

Colorado won its last home game 52-0 against Oklahoma State. 

NFL WIFE DEVON MOSTERT RECEIVES RACIST HATE ONLINE FOR DEFENDING DESANTIS AGAINST HARRIS

Deion and Pilar got married in 1999. At the time, she was a model, and he was an NFL star at the height of his fame as a player. Together they had Shilo, Shedeur and daughter Shelomi. 

The couple filed for divorce in 2013. It was Sanders' second divorce. He split from his first wife, Carolyn Chambers, in 1998, one year before marrying Pilar. Deion and Chambers had two children together — Deion Jr. and Deiondre.

In his 2013 divorce with Pilar, Sanders won custody of all three of the couple's children initially, and Pilar was awarded visitation rights. Still, there were custody battles later. 

Prior to the divorce being finalized, Pilar alleged a prenuptial agreement between her and Deion was forged in 2012. She was seeking to get more money in alimony and child support payments from the Pro Football Hall of Famer. 

"It's greed," Deion said in court at the time. "You signed the contract. We had a prenuptial, and now you don't like the terms of it because of the realization that it's over, your lifestyle will no longer be the same way. It's greed."

The judge who oversaw the dispute said Pilar Sanders signed the agreement, that she did so voluntarily and that she cannot bring a claim that it is invalid before the court again.

"It's David and Goliath," Pilar's attorney, Larry Friedman, said, according to NBC Dallas-Forth Worth. "We stay the course. We're the underdog, and it's hard to win when you play by the rules."

"I didn't marry hm for money, obviously," Pilar told NBC Dallas-Forth Worth. "I've been married to him for 14 years. My intent was to marry forever, but, obviously, it wasn't his."

Deion also filed a defamation lawsuit against Pilar, claiming she tarnished his reputation with allegations of domestic violence. Deion won that lawsuit, and an investigation found no evidence to support Pilar's claims. 

Pilar later won custody of her two youngest children, Shedeur and Shelomi, in 2017. Still, Deion has been a heavy presence in Shedeur's life throughout his college career as his head coach at both Jackson State and Colorado. 

Deion has said he devoted himself to Christianity shortly after his first divorce. Sanders opened up about his devotion to Christ during an interview on "Running Wild" with Bear Grylls in November 2023.

"That's when I went through my first divorce in which the only things that I knew that truly loved me were my two kids. Now they're gone, now they've been taken away. It was devastating, and I went through suicidal thoughts, a suicidal period," Sanders said. 

"I ran this car off the side of the highway, and, at the bottom, I thought this car would just flip, and it didn't flip. And I was still there. Shortly after that, I just had to come to the Lord with my hands up and say, 'I'm done. I can't do it anymore. You got me. I give up. God, you take me.'"

Follow Fox News Digital’s sports coverage on X, and subscribe to the Fox News Sports Huddle newsletter.

• I got divorced earlier this year, so I'm choosing to be alone this Thanksgiving.
• I'm excited to do exactly what I want on Thanksgiving, including cooking what I like.
• After a difficult and emotional year, I'm embracing my solitude.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my least favorite holidays. As a formerly homeless youth, the holiday's emphasis on family bonding has never appealed to me. I haven't been part of a big family Thanksgiving since I was a little kid.

For most of my adult life, I spent the day with my ex-partner, having a small but elaborate celebration. It was a great way to take back Thanksgiving for me.

But after 19 years together, we unexpectedly got divorced. That means I'll be spending this Thanksgiving alone, and I'm looking forward to it.

I've turned down invites to attend other people's Thanksgiving plans

When friends and acquaintances hear that I intend to spend Thanksgiving alone, they're surprised. People generally assume I'm sad about being alone or have nowhere to spend the holiday with others.

I have options, but I'm choosing my own company. While the idea of someone being alone on this holiday upsets some, I know I will have a better time doing the day my way.

I had some very dysfunctional Thanksgiving holidays growing up, but the worst I remember happened 22 years ago when I was 18. I got invited to an older friend's house. Being included in other people's traditions for the day didn't feel good; it felt exhausting. I regretted going the minute I arrived and immediately wanted to return to my sparse studio apartment. I politely waited through dinner and dessert before I could excuse myself and head home.

The next year, I was 19 and spent Thanksgiving alone, and I had a much better time. I plan to do the same this year.

My new plan for Thanksgiving is only to do the things I enjoy

I lived in NYC for many years, and one of my favorite Thanksgiving holidays was when I went after work to watch the Macy's balloons be inflated. I love watching the balloons and intend to spend Thanksgiving morning on my couch watching them on TV. I have already decorated my house for Christmas, but I still love watching the parade close with Santa ushering in the holiday season officially.

Other than the parade, my favorite part of Thanksgiving is watching the broadcast of the National Dog Show. This year, I don't have to account for anyone's elaborate cooking schedule or timing preferences for the holiday. I'm looking forward to watching the dog show without feeling guilty like I should be in the kitchen helping cook a meal I'm not even invested in eating.

My dogs and I will then go for a walk and complete our American Kennel Club Turkey Trot walk, which benefits junior handlers. I also grew up showing dogs, so this is a small way to give back to a community that represents the happy memories I have from my childhood.

The only other thing I plan to do on Thanksgiving is make pawprint turkey crafts with my dogs.

I'm embracing being alone this Thanksgiving

I've told some close-chosen family members they are welcome to stop by if they want to watch balloons or the dog show with me, but I'm fine if they don't.

Fancy and elaborate meals aren't important to me, so I won't make one. I intend to eat Tofurkey, boxed mac and cheese, and maybe some stuffing. While I eat, I plan to send messages to all my favorite people, making sure they know how grateful I am for them and how much I love them.

This was not an easy year for me; it started with being blindsided by divorce and having to pick up the pieces of my life. That said, the year has, much to my surprise, been pretty great. I love the new life that I am building. My new life is filled with people near and far who see and appreciate me for who I am.

I have so much to be grateful for this year, and one of those things is learning just how much I like my own company.

• Over 1,600 older Americans and counting shared their financial and other regrets with BI.
• Many had regrets about retiring too early, taking Social Security prematurely, and draining savings.
• This is part of an ongoing series about boomer regrets.

At what age should you retire? When should you start collecting Social Security? Will you need to work part time in retirement?

Millions of Americans are asking these questions, and some told Business Insider what they've learned in a voluntary reader survey. Over the past two months, over 1,600 Americans and counting between the ages of 48 and 90 shared their biggest regrets with BI. (This is part three of an ongoing series.)

A few dozen of those survey respondents talked about mistakes made while navigating their retirement years.

Regrets included retiring too early, taking Social Security benefits prematurely, and draining retirement savings too quickly. Others said unpreventable life events like a spouse's death or medical emergency set them back. Many wished they held onto jobs longer or better understood how sudden costs could hurt their wallets. And a few talked about finding community — and themselves — in retirement.

Here are a few of their stories.

We want to hear from you. Are you an older American with any life regrets that you would be comfortable sharing with a reporter? Please fill out this quick form.

Unexpected financial and medical setbacks

Kathleen Rudd, 74, regrets retiring when she did and not having a cushion when her health declined.

Rudd spent her career running a catering business and later working as an executive chef. By 2008, she had about $60,000 saved in a 401(k). That account lost 40% of its value in the Great Recession, and she said it never recovered.

Though she had retirement accounts, she said more nuanced retirement planning wasn't really on her radar.

"I don't think I thought about retirement until probably the last 10 years, and it's because I don't have kids or anybody that I was concerned about leaving a legacy for," Rudd told BI.

At 62, she retired from a job paying almost $60,000 a year and opted to take Social Security early. She received $1,290 a month, about $400 a month less than if she had waited until 67. Because of Social Security earnings restrictions, she opted for private chef positions paying about half as much as her previous job and part-time gigs as a sales clerk until she was 70.

Now, she has just $40,000 in savings and is banking on eventually selling a house she bought with her sister in Colorado when she originally retired. Hospitalizations for a collapsed lung, a brain bleed, and gut trouble have made money particularly tight.

"I never should have left that job, and I should have stayed working," Rudd said, referring to her executive chef role.

David John, a senior strategic policy advisor at AARP, told BI that older Americans' retirement expectations don't often match reality. Even those who prepare for retirement often don't know when to do so or how to navigate it financially.

"There's the old saying, 'Act in haste, repent at leisure,' and that definitely seems to apply to many of these situations," John said. "In practice, essentially retirement is a foreign country. We can read about it. We can talk about it. But until you actually reach it, until you actually do retire, you aren't fully aware of the reality."

Retiring too fast and spending too much

Misty Miller, 65, said she retired too early. One week in, she regretted it.

Miller worked as a paralegal and legal analyst before retiring at 58 with $700,000 in her retirement accounts. She lived frugally while working, driving the same car for 26 years, and rarely spending on luxuries like going to a salon. She calculated her expenses for the next few decades, and she retired with a monthly pension check of about $4,000. However, after retiring, she said her frugal habits disappeared.

The Sacramento resident withdrew money from her 401(k) for a down payment on a $515,000 beach house. She and her husband then sold the house in 2020 and moved to a $488,000 home in a Sacramento suburb, paying five times as much in property taxes as the first Sacramento property.

"I'm house-rich and cash-poor, so I had to go back to work," Miller said. "I lived frugally up to this point, and then I just lost my mind."

With those house purchases and other expenses cutting her retirement savings by about a third, to $450,000, Miller returned to the job she held before retiring. She said she was worried her pension couldn't cover all her expenses.

"I plan to stay working until they carry me out in a casket," Miller said, adding she wishes she never retired.

John, at AARP, said retirees make three common mistakes during the process. The first is taking out more than they should from their retirement investments, leaving them with not enough money to meet their daily needs down the line. The second is the opposite: working longer and saving more than necessary, depriving themselves in fear of not having enough. The third was common among respondents to BI's survey: assuming they can put off financial decisions until it's too late, doing things like stalling on putting aside an emergency fund or relying too heavily on Social Security.

"They need to make certain decisions at an advanced age, and they find that they no longer have the flexibility, meaning the financial assets, necessary to make that kind of decision," John said.

Cashing out Social Security too fast

Sharon, 77, took Social Security too early, prompting her to unretire to cover expenses.

The Atlanta resident, who asked to use her middle name for privacy reasons, worked as a teacher but retired in 2001 after a divorce and her parents' deaths. She worked a few temporary jobs in the 2000s, and she invested much of her inheritance in the market. When the market crashed in 2008, she lost nearly half of her $725,000 assets.

"I became very afraid of the stock market, afraid of what to do, not trusting the advice I was getting from people, and making a lot of bad financial decisions," Sharon said.

To dig herself out, she took Social Security at 62 instead of waiting until 67. She said her financial situation deteriorated when she hit her mid-60s, so she returned to work as a teacher, earning "very little pay." A series of health issues and home damage meant her $936 in Social Security each month hasn't gone far, and she has under $100,000 in liquid assets.

"If only someone had just said, do not take Social Security early, do not invest your money this way," Sharon said. "If I had somebody who would have just really directed me, maybe I wouldn't be in this horrible situation because, by 2030, I easily will run out of money."

John said that about 22% of people had a financial plan before retirement, while just 33% had one after retirement. "People regularly don't do this in part because they are a little more comfortable with a vague worry than with hard facts that they need to deal with," John said.

Returning to work and staying busy

For many older Americans, retirement mistakes aren't about finances. Dozens told BI they returned to work after discovering retirement was lonely or monotonous. While some may envision retirement as sitting on a beach or playing golf, John said many still have an itch to get back to the office.

"So many people have a social network intimately tied with their work life, and once they're outside that, many people just plain old get lonely, and they aren't part of the discussions anymore," John said.

Some respondents, however, had a more positive outlook on how retirement upended their social lives. Many said they took on passion projects and used their retirement to focus on themselves and rediscover their passions.

Cindy Kohli, 64, has been on Social Security Disability Insurance since 1990 and receives Veterans Affairs Disability Compensation. For years, the Arizona resident scraped by as a single mother of three children. She made financial mistakes such as spending too much of her income, though she gradually developed cost-saving strategies.

One of her biggest regrets, though, was not putting herself first.

"I'm the type of person who has always put other people first, never thinking about myself," Kohli said. "There are periods of my life where I never bought myself clothes, didn't take care of myself."

In her retirement years, she has learned to reprioritize herself. She spends hours each week reading financial books, doing pro bono paralegal work, and being active in her community.

"Oddly enough, my greatest challenge now is rediscovering my purpose because, in the past, it's been helping people in any way I can," Kohli said. "A lot of people complain that their limited income keeps them from going places like they used to. In reality, they just have to adapt and find new things to do."

Are you an older American with any life regrets that you would be comfortable sharing with a reporter? Please fill out this quick form or email [email protected].

• I was used to casual touch and missed it when my 19-year relationship ended, and we divorced.
• Platonic touch between my friends and me became important when I was touch-starved.
• My dogs also help me feel less physically alone.

I was in a relationship and married for 19 years. During that time, I got very used to having someone physically around.

Something that surprised me when we unexpectedly divorced this year was how much I missed being touched. Humans need physical touch, and the sudden loss of it can be jarring, as I have recently experienced.

Many of us started thinking about touch starvation during the pandemic lockdown, which mandated social distancing. But this year has been especially difficult for me, and now I'm craving physical touch.

Almost nobody touched me after my partner left

As an adult, I hadn't considered myself to be an especially touchy person, but in the early days of my divorce, I felt a skin-crawling desperation for touch. I missed hugs, cuddles, and casually leaning against someone while talking or walking.

Shortly after I found out I was getting divorced, two acquaintances gave me casual side hugs. Then, I had my six-month dental cleaning. The hygienist took one look at me, realized something was wrong, and gave me a hug. Then, the next week, an old friend came over to my house and hung out for hours just talking. That was the first real hug I'd had in weeks. I sank into his arms for a long time.

It was terrifying to wake up every day and realize I had no idea when I might be touched again by another person.

I've remembered how much I love touching my friends

When I was a homeless queer teenager, I spent a lot of time in cuddle puddles with my friends. We would pile onto old couches in punk houses. We watched movies or curled up in bed together to talk for hours. This close platonic touch was a big part of how we bonded and survived.

Over the years, those friendships drifted away, and my new friends all touched less. We might exchange a hug when greeting, but we didn't exist with the level of platonic physical intimacy that seemed so natural in my late teens and early 20s.

Since my divorce, I've remembered how healing a platonic touch between friends can be. I find myself now seeking connections and deepening friendships with people who want to build platonically intimate friendships.

The people in my life now don't think twice about cuddling with me while we watch movies or just sit and talk. We never pass up the opportunity to hug each other close.

Most days, I don't touch anyone, but at least a few days a week, I know I'll see some close friends and get much-needed platonic physical contact.

It has been fun to rediscover myself as a sexual person

Sex was never the glue that kept my ex-partner and me together. Our lack of sexual compatibility was no secret and was something I was at peace with. However, with my marriage over, I felt ready and excited to pursue the kind of sexual compatibility I had been missing.

Since separating, it has been nice to discover that other people find me as attractive as I find them. Sometimes, that attraction manifests in physical touch, and sometimes, it's just the warm glow of connection with long-distance friends.

Recognizing that touch could exist if we were in the same physical location is surprisingly satisfying. I'm often still touch-starved, especially with intimate touch, but I've found the mutual desire for touch to satiate that hunger most days.

My dogs are always ready to cuddle

When I learned I was getting divorced, my top priority was getting custody of my dog Sirius. After my ex-partner moved out, Sirius became significantly cuddlier. Now, it's rare for me to wake up without her sleeping on my bed. I think she knew I was touch-starved and needed the extra physical interaction I wasn't getting anywhere else.

This summer, after my divorce was finalized, I brought a new puppy home to join Sirius and me, making us a little household of three. This puppy would literally crawl into my skin if she could. While not the same as a hug from a friend, this level of enthusiastic, consistent physical interaction has been a game changer. Having dogs that are always cuddling up against me as I work or read has helped me feel less physically isolated day-to-day.

• Tish Cyrus-Purcell says her divorce from Billy Ray Cyrus was difficult even for her kids, who are now adults.
• "For me, I never wanted to be divorced," Cyrus-Purcell said on a podcast.
• The former couple divorced in 2022. They previously filed for divorce in 2010 and 2013, but reconciled both times.

Tish Cyrus-Purcell says she wanted her marriage to Billy Ray Cyrus to end.

During Sunday's episode of the "Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson" podcast, Cyrus-Purcell spoke about her divorce from the country singer and its impact on their kids.

"For me, I never wanted to be divorced," Cyrus-Purcell told host Oliver Hudson, adding that she looked at her parents' long-lasting marriage as something that she wanted to emulate.

"Like my mom and dad met on a Monday, got married on a Friday, and were together until my dad passed away. Great childhood, best example of a marriage you could ever imagine," Cyrus-Purcell said.

Not only that, being in the public eye meant that her life was "already so odd and at some times unstable" that it made her want to hold onto their relationship even more.

"I wanted to make it work, probably for a little too long, like, for my own mental health," she said.

Cyrus-Purcell has three kids — Miley, Braison, and Noah — with Cyrus. She also has two older children, Brandi and Trace, from a previous relationship, whom Cyrus adopted upon their marriage.

The couple divorced in 2022, and Cyrus-Purcell married "Prison Break" star Dominic Purcell in 2023.

Looking back, the mother of five said that her split from Cyrus "was tough on everyone in some ways" — even her older children.

"Like my son Trace, for example. He's 36, he'll be 36 in February. He was bummed. He was like, 'I wish my mom and dad would never get like that. I wish that wouldn't have happened,'" Cyrus-Purcell said, recalling her son's reaction.

Cyrus-Purcell's oldest daughter, Brandi — who was also a guest on the podcast episode — shared that she felt the situation was easier to deal with because her siblings are adults now.

Cyrus-Purcell and Cyrus had previously filed for divorce in 2010 and 2013 but reconciled both times.

"In the beginning, like you know, the prior filings especially, Noah was so young, and that was definitely a big thing," Brandi told host Hudson. "My mom really wanted the family to stay together for Noah. But then, once Noah was an adult, I do feel like it was not great, but also, we're all old enough to understand it."

A representative for Cyrus-Purcell did not immediately respond to a request for comment sent by Business Insider outside regular hours.

Navigating divorce with kids

In the US, there are 2.4 divorces per 1,000 people, per the latest data from the CDC.

Navigating a divorce with children can sometimes be complicated. Parents often focus only on what they want when discussing the settlement, Susan Moss, an attorney based in NYC, told Business Insider previously.

However, the kids should have a say too — especially since they are the ones who have to shuttle between two households, Moss said.

Although divorce can bring up many negative emotions, it's also important for parents to not bad-mouth their spouses to their kids, she added.

"Your co-parent is usually the only mother or father your child will have. They may not be a perfect parent, but your child doesn't need to know all the ways they've failed. Instead, respect the important role this person has in your child's life," Moss said.

Divorce can be difficult even for adult children to process, Rachel Sussman, a relationships therapist, told BI previously.

"There's a dynamic with even adults that when they're with their parents, they can feel a little childlike and they want to be cared for by their parents," Sussman said.

And a parental divorce can leave adult kids feeling "like that last security blanket is being ripped out from under them," Sussman said.

Processing a parental divorce can also be further complicated by the knowledge that both parents are better off separated, BI reporter Gabby Landsverk wrote in a personal essay in 2021.

"One of the strangest moments in processing the divorce was realizing later that I felt proud of my parents for making the choice to split up and move on with their lives," she wrote.

"It's unsettling to recognize the whole life they have outside of their parenting, as individuals with their own struggles, flaws, needs, and goals," she continued.

• Sheri Atwood was proud that she managed to divorce amicably for just $500.
• However, navigating co-parenting expenses with her ex eventually led to animosity.
• Atwood invented a system where she could upload receipts for her ex and keep detailed records.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sheri Atwood, founder and CEO of SupportPay. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was five when my parents got divorced, but their separation was so tumultuous that it shaped my whole childhood. The money they spent fighting us could have bought a mansion, but my siblings and I were barely fed and living in a one-bedroom apartment. I lived in 24 different places before I was 18 as they battled for custody.

I was determined not to continue that kind of life. I was the only one of my siblings to go to college. While there, I met a marine in Tijuana and married him at just 19. Our marriage was OK at first, mostly because my job in corporate cyber security meant I traveled constantly.

We had a baby when I was 25, and almost instantly, I realized I wanted a divorce, and my ex was fully on board. Our relationship wasn't healthy, and I didn't want my daughter to grow up with that. I did all the paperwork and paid $500 for the divorce. I felt we had dodged a bullet by having a cheap, amicable divorce despite having significant assets, including multiple homes and a boat. I was proud that we were both focused on what was best for our daughter.

After the divorce, we started fighting about money

After the divorce, I felt like we were constantly discussing — or arguing over — money. He would pay $20 to register our daughter for soccer, and I'd pay $40 for gymnastics, so we were always figuring out who owed whom. I would spend $100 on shoes, and he'd say there was no way shoes cost that much, so I'd have to send him a receipt.

We had the same issue with our shared custody calendar. I'd put my frequent work trips on the calendar, and he would lose the link and ask me to resend it.

I wasted a huge amount of time and energy managing our co-parenting. It was incredibly stressful. Soon, the friendly feelings from my divorce were out the window. My ex and I had a lot of animosity because we had different values around money and challenges communicating about it.

I realized everyone talks about an amicable divorce, but no one talks about what comes after that.

Automating payments allowed me to let go of frustration

When my daughter was seven, she needed emergency brain surgery. That was a wake-up call for me. Until then, I was spending so much time working while nannies took care of her. I realized that if I were going to work that many hours, I wanted to do something more personally meaningful. To me, that meant ensuring my family and others had a better way to manage the mundane tasks of co-parenting, like handling payments and the calendar.

I used my tech background to create a platform to manage payments, schedules, and communication between co-parents. Back then, a text from my ex could distract me from work and disrupt my focus, so I also put communication in the app, which would send me a notification that I could deal with when I was ready.

By the time my daughter was 9, the app was live, and my ex and I began to use it. Having everything in one place allowed me to let go of so much frustration and the time I spent talking to my ex about money. That way, I could focus on what was important: our daughter. My ex even started using it with another ex-partner he also has a child with.

I had let go of my negative feelings, too

Time and time in my life, I've had arguments over money. It's not just with my ex. It also happened with my siblings when we were caring for our mother, and again after she died and we needed to settle her estate.

Having a platform to handle modern family finances takes some of the emotion out of these transactions. Of course, that requires a shift in mindset too. For example, I realized if I wanted to get paid, I had to show my ex receipts for my expenses. He wasn't asking out of spite. He just genuinely didn't realize how much things cost — like those $100 shoes! Being able to upload a receipt kept things cordial and helped me get my money.

Most parents want to support their kids, and they realize kids aren't free. But they don't always understand the costs, and tempers can quickly flare around money. Sharing receipts can be a neutral way to show those costs and avoid emotion.

When you have a child with someone, you're tied to them for life. My daughter is now 22, and my ex and I are still sharing college expenses. I've also had people use the app to split wedding expenses or the cost of taking care of a senior loved one. The last thing anyone wants is to make or receive a phone call asking for money. When you can avoid that, you have more time to focus on what really matters: family.

• Adrienne Uthe, 32, got engaged to her partner a few months into dating.
• A few years into being engaged, they decided against marriage but stayed together.
• Uthe, an entrepreneur, said the risk of divorce made her worried about the future of her business.

I met Eric on Bumble over six years ago, after I moved to Salt Lake City from the Midwest. It took us about a year to officially get together; we were both dating around for a while.

Eric, who is 13 years older than me, proposed a few months into our dating, which completely took me by surprise. He had gone through a difficult divorce, both financially and emotionally, and told me he was very hesitant about ever marrying again. He said I was the only one he was willing to take that risk for. I said yes.

A few years later, we ended our engagement — but are still together. While we both respect marriage, we ultimately decided it wasn't for us. The risk of divorce was legally and financially too much. Even though we get jokes and questions sometimes, we're happy just being together without the paperwork.

I changed my mind because of my business

We have an age-gap relationship. We each had fully independent careers and accomplishments before we started dating.

I've always been about business and feel like I was put on this earth to build things. I own three companies, including a PR firm I founded. I've worked so hard and been so careful to get where I am as an entrepreneur. Eric, meanwhile, is a financial speaker and instructor who's traveled all over the world.

Beyond the emotional benefits of getting married, we didn't see any clear upsides from a business perspective because we're both self-employed. While marriage comes with some tax benefits and can protect assets for some people if they separate, divorce can also get very complicated when you own your own businesses like we do.

Disentangling our lives, if it ever came to that, would be costly and energy-draining.

While we wanted to merge our worlds, what was most important to us was safeguarding what we've each built and keeping it secure on both sides.

After talking it over, we decided to end our engagement and keep our finances 100% separate while still remaining together.

The risk of divorce doesn't feel worth it

We're pretty non-traditional; even if we were to get married, we would do something casual like a Las Vegas ceremony. Eric, who was raised in Utah, got married around 20 because it was the norm. Now that we're older, he and I are more concerned with doing what feels right for us.

In the time we've been together, we've seen multiple close friends navigate divorce. It's made us firmer in our decision to stay together without marriage; we don't believe in pushing ourselves toward something we don't want.

We tell people we're like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been together for 40 years but never married. Their reasons for not marrying are just like ours: they never want to deal with an ugly divorce.

We still don't know what to call each other

Introducing each other always feels tricky. "Fiancé" isn't accurate, but "girlfriend" doesn't cut it, either.

Eric had two sons in his previous marriage; one of them has lived with him full-time. I helped parent him and act as his stepmother, even though I'm legally not. He even calls me his stepmom. I feel like I've earned more of a title than "girlfriend," but I also know it's just a word.

Our connection feels stronger than a piece of paper. We wake up each day and choose each other not out of obligation, but because we genuinely want to.