• Over 2,000 older Americans and counting have shared their financial and other regrets with BI.
• Some experienced financial distress after losing their spouses to illness or accidents.
• This is part of an ongoing series about older Americans' regrets.

Karen Lauer's husband died without a will. On top of the grief of losing the person she loved, Lauer's finances were thrown into chaos.

She's one of many older widows and widowers who have shared their stories with Business Insider in recent months. They're among the more than 2,000 Americans who've responded to a reader survey about their life regrets. This story is part of an ongoing series.

Some widows told BI they lost substantial amounts of their household income or were thrust into complex legal battles for their spouse's assets.

Others regret not outlining a will, skipping a life-insurance policy, or not building savings before their spouse's death: "Having been widowed twice and left with three girls to raise alone, I wish I would've saved money for my retirement years," one survey respondent wrote.

"I hate living without my husband — I needed to prepare for widowhood while making the most of our last years together," another said.

For Lauer, sorting through the pieces of her husband's estate has been painful.

"Because we didn't have a will, I feel like I'm going through a divorce between my dead husband and myself," Lauer said.

We want to hear from you. Are you an older American with any life regrets you'd be comfortable sharing with a reporter? Please fill out this quick form.

How losing a partner can take a painful financial toll

Lauer, 64, smiles thinking about the man nicknamed "Cowboy Steve." She pictures him cantering on his horse at their ranch in western Nebraska, gathering a thin layer of dust on his leather boots.

Her husband died following an accident last year. Without a will, she said the local court told her that all of her husband's money and assets would go into probate, a legal process used to divide a deceased person's estate, typically among their blood relatives. Lauer said because the ranch was in Steve's name, not hers, she was required to move off the ranch during the process so the house could be sold. She said she's now experiencing homelessness.

She's house-sitting for a friend in Lincoln, Nebraska, but doesn't know where she'll live next. With limited savings of her own, Lauer said she's surviving on less than $2,000 in monthly Social Security payments. She said it's not enough to cover essentials or rent her own apartment.

Lauer's financial experience mirrors that of others. In fact, on average, widows have lower 401(k) balances, less savings, and a more limited monthly retirement income than married retirees, BI found in an analysis of individual-level data from the Census Bureau's 2023 Survey of Income and Program Participation.

The average monthly income of widowed retirees is higher than that of divorced retirees and retirees who never married. But at an average of $2,381 monthly, their income is still several hundred dollars lower than that of married retirees with a surviving spouse. The analysis looked at retirees' income from pensions, Social Security, retirement accounts, or insurance benefits.

Doug Ornstein, the director of wealth management at TIAA, told BI that losing a spouse could have "devastating" financial impacts.

"If the person who handled most of the money passes away unexpectedly or early, the surviving spouse might not have financial literacy," he said. "Or maybe the couple undersaved for retirement — that person has to figure it out themselves."

A report published in June by the financial firm Thrivent found that less than half of widowed women feel prepared to manage their finances after a spouse's death. Twenty-nine percent of women surveyed said they created a will with their spouse, while 41% said they had no financial plan before their spouse's death. The firm surveyed a national sample of 422 female widows in May 2024.

Lauer wishes her "marriage license came with instructions," she said. Steve died unexpectedly, and Lauer said she didn't have enough knowledge about the probate and asset-division process, or how it would affect her livelihood as the surviving spouse. She advises other married people to write a will and make a financial plan as soon as possible.

How to protect your finances if your spouse dies

Ornstein said there are a few key ways that Americans can financially protect themselves if their spouse dies.

The first step is creating a will and having regular conversations about finances as a couple. A life-insurance policy — which people can buy or opt in to through their employer — can provide further financial security to a deceased person's family after their death. Typically, people pay a regular premium for the insurance throughout their career and can name a spouse or children as their beneficiaries.

Ornstein told BI that widows and widowers should work with an estate-planning attorney, financial advisor, and tax professional directly after their spouse dies. He added that, when preparing for those meetings, it's best to collect as many legal and financial documents as possible: a death certificate, a marriage license, bank statements, tax returns, benefits paperwork, insurance policies, and a will.

With an attorney and financial advisor, widows and widowers should apply — or reapply — for benefits such as Social Security and pensions, Ornstein said. They may be entitled to spousal benefits or higher monthly government aid. He added that a surviving spouse would likely have to transfer ownership of assets like a house, credit card, retirement account, or loan to themself or another family member.

"Take things one step at a time," he said in a follow-up email. "It's normal to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious in this situation."

Still, not all widows or widowers have regrets about their money habits, even if they're in a precarious financial position.

Looking back on his 48 years of marriage, Robert Berkeley feels good about how he spent his money. He and his wife, Lourdes, spent decades traveling, dining at their favorite restaurants, and hosting big family holiday gatherings in their eastern North Carolina home. After their respective careers as an intelligence analyst and a dental hygienist, the couple decided to retire in their 60s — living largely on their monthly Social Security checks and the few thousand dollars they had saved.

Twelve years later, in 2022, Lourdes was diagnosed with cancer. The disease was aggressive, and she died within a couple of months.

Now 78, Berkeley is struggling to make ends meet. He and his wife didn't have a life-insurance policy or robust savings. He said it's been difficult to afford housing, utilities, groceries, and transportation without two Social Security incomes. Berkeley receives a $1,650 monthly payment, but he's in debt and behind on bills. He's hoping the part-time security guard job he landed recently will help fill the gaps.

Despite his limited budget, Berkeley feels at peace with past spending habits: "We decided to live our life in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, right up to hitting our early 70s," he said. "We weren't the kind to squirrel money away for something that might happen in the future."

The couple lived — and spent — in the moment, he said. He may not have much wealth left as he ages, but Berkeley said it's worth it for the years he had and the memories he made with his "darling wife."

Are you struggling with finances after losing a spouse? Are you open to sharing your experience with a reporter? If so, reach out to [email protected].

• Andrea, 64, faces a tough choice after a layoff: find a job or start collecting Social Security.
• Many older Americans rely on Social Security in retirement and struggle to pay their bills.
• About 13% of baby boomers on LinkedIn "unretired" in 2023, a five-year high.

When Andrea, 64, was laid off in February, she joined the ranks of many older Americans who unexpectedly find themselves looking to rejoin the job market.

She spent decades climbing the corporate ladder at various staffing and recruitment firms in Minnesota's Twin Cities, taking on leadership roles and earning a six-figure salary. She had planned to keep working until she reached retirement age at 67.

Now, Andrea — whose identity is known to Business Insider but requested to use her first name for privacy — is weighing her options. She thinks about taking Social Security benefits earlier than she initially thought, but she's worried about long-term savings and would prefer to land another role.

"I would have to really make some big paradigm shifts in my life in order to not dig into my retirement," she said. "I would have to become super frugal, and I would rather work."

Decisions about when to stop working and take Social Security have become a cornerstone of the retirement experience. Older Americans are eligible to take Social Security at age 62, or they can wait until their full benefit amount kicks in at age 67. Monthly Social Security checks, which averaged $1,924.35 in October, are many baby boomers' main source of retirement income. But that's often not enough unless it's supplemented with other savings, like a 401(k) or investments.

Business Insider has heard from over 1,000 baby boomers about their retirement regrets. Many wished they had waited to receive their maximum Social Security benefit, while others retired early for reasons outside their control. For people like Andrea, a late-career layoff can derail their best-laid financial plans.

We want to hear from you. Are you an older American with any life regrets you'd be comfortable sharing with a reporter? Please fill out this quick form.

Social Security may not cover all of Andrea's expenses

With her looming retirement decision, Andrea feels like she's "walking a tightrope" between starting her retirement and potentially outliving her savings. She said her husband, who is a retired attorney, receives several thousand dollars a month between his Social Security checks and pension. Andrea estimates her benefit check would be a little over $2,000 a month if she retired now — and she doesn't think it's enough to live on.

She said that paying for her family's mortgage, insurance, car payments, healthcare, and 24-year-old son's college tuition adds up quickly. She and her husband don't want to dip into their 401(k), Roth IRA, or investment accounts until absolutely necessary.

Doug Ornstein, director of wealth management at TIAA, told BI that unexpected costs or layoffs are a common source of financial anxiety for hopeful retirees.

"Most folks' biggest fear is running out of money and not having the dignity of being able to support themselves in their old age," Ornstein said.

About 13% of baby boomers on LinkedIn returned to the workforce, or "unretired," in 2023, a five-year high, per LinkedIn's Economic Graph. A Federal Reserve analysis of its 2020 US household economics and decision-making survey reported that 14% of non-retired adults who experience a layoff borrow or cash out funds from their retirement savings.

Andrea wishes she knew that her choice to be a stay-at-home parent while her son was a toddler — as well as work in the United Kingdom for 10 years earlier in her career — would negatively impact her Social Security earnings. The benefits only account for years actively spent in the US workforce.

She added that workplace ageism is making it difficult for her to be hired again, despite her years of experience. She hopes landing another role will help her round out the roughly $5 million she wants to have saved to retire comfortably.

Andrea advises others to begin saving for retirement in their 20s and 30s.

"Even when I do land a new job, I will save as much of that income as I possibly can," she said. "Because I don't feel that my position is as strong as it should be."

Have you had to return to work after retirement? Are you comfortable sharing your experience with a reporter? If so, reach out to [email protected].

• Over 1,600 older Americans and counting shared their financial and other regrets with BI.
• Many had regrets about retiring too early, taking Social Security prematurely, and draining savings.
• This is part of an ongoing series about boomer regrets.

At what age should you retire? When should you start collecting Social Security? Will you need to work part time in retirement?

Millions of Americans are asking these questions, and some told Business Insider what they've learned in a voluntary reader survey. Over the past two months, over 1,600 Americans and counting between the ages of 48 and 90 shared their biggest regrets with BI. (This is part three of an ongoing series.)

A few dozen of those survey respondents talked about mistakes made while navigating their retirement years.

Regrets included retiring too early, taking Social Security benefits prematurely, and draining retirement savings too quickly. Others said unpreventable life events like a spouse's death or medical emergency set them back. Many wished they held onto jobs longer or better understood how sudden costs could hurt their wallets. And a few talked about finding community — and themselves — in retirement.

Here are a few of their stories.

We want to hear from you. Are you an older American with any life regrets that you would be comfortable sharing with a reporter? Please fill out this quick form.

Unexpected financial and medical setbacks

Kathleen Rudd, 74, regrets retiring when she did and not having a cushion when her health declined.

Rudd spent her career running a catering business and later working as an executive chef. By 2008, she had about $60,000 saved in a 401(k). That account lost 40% of its value in the Great Recession, and she said it never recovered.

Though she had retirement accounts, she said more nuanced retirement planning wasn't really on her radar.

"I don't think I thought about retirement until probably the last 10 years, and it's because I don't have kids or anybody that I was concerned about leaving a legacy for," Rudd told BI.

At 62, she retired from a job paying almost $60,000 a year and opted to take Social Security early. She received $1,290 a month, about $400 a month less than if she had waited until 67. Because of Social Security earnings restrictions, she opted for private chef positions paying about half as much as her previous job and part-time gigs as a sales clerk until she was 70.

Now, she has just $40,000 in savings and is banking on eventually selling a house she bought with her sister in Colorado when she originally retired. Hospitalizations for a collapsed lung, a brain bleed, and gut trouble have made money particularly tight.

"I never should have left that job, and I should have stayed working," Rudd said, referring to her executive chef role.

David John, a senior strategic policy advisor at AARP, told BI that older Americans' retirement expectations don't often match reality. Even those who prepare for retirement often don't know when to do so or how to navigate it financially.

"There's the old saying, 'Act in haste, repent at leisure,' and that definitely seems to apply to many of these situations," John said. "In practice, essentially retirement is a foreign country. We can read about it. We can talk about it. But until you actually reach it, until you actually do retire, you aren't fully aware of the reality."

Retiring too fast and spending too much

Misty Miller, 65, said she retired too early. One week in, she regretted it.

Miller worked as a paralegal and legal analyst before retiring at 58 with $700,000 in her retirement accounts. She lived frugally while working, driving the same car for 26 years, and rarely spending on luxuries like going to a salon. She calculated her expenses for the next few decades, and she retired with a monthly pension check of about $4,000. However, after retiring, she said her frugal habits disappeared.

The Sacramento resident withdrew money from her 401(k) for a down payment on a $515,000 beach house. She and her husband then sold the house in 2020 and moved to a $488,000 home in a Sacramento suburb, paying five times as much in property taxes as the first Sacramento property.

"I'm house-rich and cash-poor, so I had to go back to work," Miller said. "I lived frugally up to this point, and then I just lost my mind."

With those house purchases and other expenses cutting her retirement savings by about a third, to $450,000, Miller returned to the job she held before retiring. She said she was worried her pension couldn't cover all her expenses.

"I plan to stay working until they carry me out in a casket," Miller said, adding she wishes she never retired.

John, at AARP, said retirees make three common mistakes during the process. The first is taking out more than they should from their retirement investments, leaving them with not enough money to meet their daily needs down the line. The second is the opposite: working longer and saving more than necessary, depriving themselves in fear of not having enough. The third was common among respondents to BI's survey: assuming they can put off financial decisions until it's too late, doing things like stalling on putting aside an emergency fund or relying too heavily on Social Security.

"They need to make certain decisions at an advanced age, and they find that they no longer have the flexibility, meaning the financial assets, necessary to make that kind of decision," John said.

Cashing out Social Security too fast

Sharon, 77, took Social Security too early, prompting her to unretire to cover expenses.

The Atlanta resident, who asked to use her middle name for privacy reasons, worked as a teacher but retired in 2001 after a divorce and her parents' deaths. She worked a few temporary jobs in the 2000s, and she invested much of her inheritance in the market. When the market crashed in 2008, she lost nearly half of her $725,000 assets.

"I became very afraid of the stock market, afraid of what to do, not trusting the advice I was getting from people, and making a lot of bad financial decisions," Sharon said.

To dig herself out, she took Social Security at 62 instead of waiting until 67. She said her financial situation deteriorated when she hit her mid-60s, so she returned to work as a teacher, earning "very little pay." A series of health issues and home damage meant her $936 in Social Security each month hasn't gone far, and she has under $100,000 in liquid assets.

"If only someone had just said, do not take Social Security early, do not invest your money this way," Sharon said. "If I had somebody who would have just really directed me, maybe I wouldn't be in this horrible situation because, by 2030, I easily will run out of money."

John said that about 22% of people had a financial plan before retirement, while just 33% had one after retirement. "People regularly don't do this in part because they are a little more comfortable with a vague worry than with hard facts that they need to deal with," John said.

Returning to work and staying busy

For many older Americans, retirement mistakes aren't about finances. Dozens told BI they returned to work after discovering retirement was lonely or monotonous. While some may envision retirement as sitting on a beach or playing golf, John said many still have an itch to get back to the office.

"So many people have a social network intimately tied with their work life, and once they're outside that, many people just plain old get lonely, and they aren't part of the discussions anymore," John said.

Some respondents, however, had a more positive outlook on how retirement upended their social lives. Many said they took on passion projects and used their retirement to focus on themselves and rediscover their passions.

Cindy Kohli, 64, has been on Social Security Disability Insurance since 1990 and receives Veterans Affairs Disability Compensation. For years, the Arizona resident scraped by as a single mother of three children. She made financial mistakes such as spending too much of her income, though she gradually developed cost-saving strategies.

One of her biggest regrets, though, was not putting herself first.

"I'm the type of person who has always put other people first, never thinking about myself," Kohli said. "There are periods of my life where I never bought myself clothes, didn't take care of myself."

In her retirement years, she has learned to reprioritize herself. She spends hours each week reading financial books, doing pro bono paralegal work, and being active in her community.

"Oddly enough, my greatest challenge now is rediscovering my purpose because, in the past, it's been helping people in any way I can," Kohli said. "A lot of people complain that their limited income keeps them from going places like they used to. In reality, they just have to adapt and find new things to do."

Are you an older American with any life regrets that you would be comfortable sharing with a reporter? Please fill out this quick form or email [email protected].

• Andre Nader built a seven-figure portfolio by saving and investing in index funds.
• He leveraged his tech career and dual-income household to maximize savings and investments.
• One strategy he used to max out tax-advantaged accounts is known as 'a mega backdoor Roth'.

Andre Nader built a seven-figure portfolio before age 40 by following a few simple fundamentals: save a chunk of your income, invest it in low-cost index funds, and max out tax-advantaged accounts.

It helped that he worked in tech. He said he started with a modest $40,000 salary right after graduating, but eventually landed a high-paying job at Meta in 2014.

"I won the income game by being in tech, by being a dual-income household," Nader, whose wife is a designer at Uber, told Business Insider.

When he got laid off in 2023, he and his wife had enough between her tech income and their savings that he didn't have to find another job. Nader, who'd been writing about financial independence on his blog FAANG FIRE since 2021, now writes on Substack full-time and does one-on-one FIRE (financial independence, retire early) coaching.

As a high-earner who describes himself as "naturally frugal," Nader found himself with excess savings each month. When he was working full-time, he and his wife used one of their incomes for household expenses and saved the other.

He spent a lot of time thinking about, "How do I save this in the most efficient way possible?" he said. "And, for many in tech, it's going to be about taking advantage of those tax-advantaged accounts. Because when you're in those extremely high earning years, any amount that you can defer those taxes into the future is potentially extremely, extremely valuable."

One particular tax-advantaged account, a Roth IRA, offers major benefits, including tax-free growth — but there's an income limit that can prevent individuals like Nader from contributing directly to it. In 2024, single tax filers must make less than $146,000 to contribute to a Roth, and married couples filing jointly must make less than $230,000.

Nader has used a workaround known as a mega backdoor to sidestep the Roth IRA income limit, and he recommends all high-earners take advantage of it if they can.

Using a mega backdoor Roth to contribute up to $69,000 a year into his 401(k)

To understand how a mega backdoor Roth works, it's important to first understand how after-tax 401(k) contributions work. Some employers offer an after-tax 401(k) — Nader had access to one when he was at Meta, and his wife has one at Uber — which allows you to save more after you've maxed out your traditional 401(k).

In 2024, the annual contribution limit for a 401(k) is $23,000 for employee contributions; but the combined employee and employer contribution limit is $69,000. Say you max out your 401(k) and contribute $23,000, and your employer contributes $5,000 through the matching program, so you have $28,000 in your 401(k). Since the limit is $69,000, if your plan allows for after-tax contributions, you can put another $41,000 in after-tax dollars into the account.

In Nader's wife's case, Uber matches up to $8,000, so after maxing out her 401(k) in 2024, she'll make an additional $38,000 after-tax contribution ($69,000 - $23,000 - $8,000), he explained.

The catch is, while sitting in the after-tax state, any earnings you make on those contributions are taxable.

That's where the mega backdoor Roth comes into play. It allows you to shift after-tax 401(k) contributions to a Roth IRA or Roth 401(k), where it can grow tax-free. Not all 401(k) plans allow this conversion and you'll want to understand your plan, including its restrictions, before making any after-tax contributions.

In Nader's experience, executing the mega backdoor Roth when he was working at Meta was quick and easy. He logged into Fidelity NetBenefits (his 401(k) provider) and elected the percentage of his after-tax earnings he wanted to contribute. Then, he was able to do an in-plan conversion and selected the option to "convert after-tax contributions."

"Every single time I post about it on LinkedIn, someone doesn't know that they had this benefit," said Nader, who has nearly 25,000 LinkedIn followers and specifically writes for FAANG (Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Netflix, and Google) employees looking to achieve financial independence. "This extra $30,000, effectively, can end up in a Roth 401(k) — and that's a super powerful type of account."

He recognizes that not everyone has access to this strategy, nor has the funds to save $69,000 a year in a 401(k). But if you're a high-earner who would be saving that money anyway and your plan allows a mega backdoor Roth, "it's really valuable for them to be aware that exists."