• My husband and I met on eHarmony and had a whirlwind relationship.
• I knew a proposal was coming, and thought it might happen while we were enjoying a weekend away.
• The proposal didn't happen when or where I expected, but it was still wonderful.

My first date with my now husband was on a cold December day. We had lunch at a diner, followed by browsing at Barnes & Noble. We had met on eHarmony, after years of trying to find love. It was a last ditch effort for both of us before giving up on online dating. Starting with that first date, I knew that there was something different, something special about him. While I'm not a person that expects grand gestures, I didn't anticipate that eight months later he would propose — in a hotel parking lot.

Our relationship was a bit of a whirlwind

We met in December, got engaged in August, and married the next December. It may seem fast to some people, but we both knew we had found the one that we wanted to spend our lives with.

In the summer we started talking about getting engaged. I couldn't imagine having a piece of jewelry that had so much significance — and that I was going to wear every day — and not having any input, so we went ring shopping together. Initially I thought I would pick a style I liked and then he would pick out the ring. Then I found a ring that I fell in love with.

He later told me he had ordered the ring, but I had no idea what he had planned for the proposal. I don't love surprises, so something elaborate, embarrassing, or public was definitely out — and he knew that.

A weekend away seemed like the perfect time for a proposal

The first weekend of August we drove a few hours away so my now-husband could fill in with a quartet that he used to sing with. I went into that trip with a feeling that he was going to propose. But as we were driving home at the end of the weekend and day turned into night I figured it probably wasn't going to happen, which was disappointing.

Then a song came on as we were driving through rural Delaware. It was "I Could Not Ask for More" by Edwin McCain, and he sang it to me. After the song was finished, he told me how much he loved me and how he could never ask for anything more. It sounded like a proposal speech, but no proposal came. He just said he wished he wasn't driving so he could hug me. I replied, "I wish you could just pull over and propose."

The proposal turned out to be a surprise, even to him

About a mile up the road, he pulled off into a Holiday Inn Express parking lot as I asked, "What are you doing?" After all, I hadn't been completely serious about pulling over. Turns out, he was. He parked, reached over and hugged me as he rooted in the back seat for something. That's when I knew it was happening. There sitting in the front seat of his car in a hotel parking lot he asked me to be his forever. I said yes.

I commented that he hadn't gotten down on one knee. So he took the ring off my finger, went around to my side of the car, got down one knee, and proposed again. He was crying, but I was so excited I just started laughing and jumping up and down.

Honestly, the entire thing was pretty on brand for our quirky, goofy relationship. There may not have been a romantic dinner with flowers and champagne or a scavenger hunt that had been planned out for weeks, but I didn't really mind. Yes, the proposal was spur of the moment, but I still think it was pretty romantic, even now that we've been married for nine years.

• My husband and I had an unconventional engagement and wedding.
• We did most wedding traditions in reverse — or not at all.
• I proposed to him, and we got my engagement ring after we got married.

My husband and I did pretty much every wedding tradition in reverse when we got married three years ago.

Though the low-key proposal came first, I got my engagement ring and had my bachelorette party after the wedding. We also did several things that went against Western wedding norms during the process: we had a simple registry office wedding where we walked down the aisle together, I kept my last name, and I opted for colored gemstones over diamonds in my ring.

Some of these decisions were circumstantial. We got married during the peak of the pandemic, so we couldn't have had a big celebration even if we wanted to. Others were based on our personal preferences. I've never considered myself a traditional person, and I knew I wanted to do things that felt right for me when it came to marriage.

I proposed to him and decided to keep my last name

Technically, I was the one that proposed. We're an international couple, which means immigration law dictates our ability to be together physically. I had moved to the UK (where my husband is from) on a two-year working holiday visa, but I knew I'd eventually need another visa for us to stay together long-term.

I didn't want to accrue student loan debt with a student visa and wasn't eligible for a work visa, making a family visa my only option. We hadn't been living together long enough to qualify for the unmarried partner visa, so I asked my then-boyfriend if he would consider marrying me. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, so we decided to go for it.

For me, the most important thing was us being together, which is why I was perfectly happy with our quiet COVID-era wedding. I'd never dreamt of having a big, traditional wedding; I'm an introvert who struggles with party planning. We decided to walk down the aisle together because we liked the idea of entering our marriage as equal partners — a practice I've since learned is standard in Sweden and other Nordic countries.

I also decided to keep my last name following the wedding. I didn't want to deal with the logistics of changing a name in two countries in addition to visa paperwork, and I wanted to keep the name that reflected my heritage. My husband fully supported my decision.

My ring and bachelorette party came after the wedding

We also chose my engagement ring later because we were focused on securing a wedding date during the pandemic, which was no small feat. Once things were settled, my husband encouraged me to choose the design I'd want to wear for the rest of my life. I've always preferred colored and iridescent gemstones to diamonds, so I selected a ring featuring our two birthstones: opal (mine) and emerald (his).

The ring arrived on the day of my bachelorette party, which my friends hosted for me once COVID restrictions slightly eased. It felt funny to do things in reverse, but as the wedding taught me — the most important thing is simply being with the people you love.

We have spoken about having a bigger celebration, but we know it would be extremely difficult to plan with our family and friends living all across the globe. I won't be upset if it never happens, because it won't take away from our love for each other. When I think about our wedding day, I love that it was so intimate and relaxed. It felt like the perfect reflection of our relationship. My only regret? Not finding a way to sneak our dog into the ceremony.

• Adrienne Uthe, 32, got engaged to her partner a few months into dating.
• A few years into being engaged, they decided against marriage but stayed together.
• Uthe, an entrepreneur, said the risk of divorce made her worried about the future of her business.

I met Eric on Bumble over six years ago, after I moved to Salt Lake City from the Midwest. It took us about a year to officially get together; we were both dating around for a while.

Eric, who is 13 years older than me, proposed a few months into our dating, which completely took me by surprise. He had gone through a difficult divorce, both financially and emotionally, and told me he was very hesitant about ever marrying again. He said I was the only one he was willing to take that risk for. I said yes.

A few years later, we ended our engagement — but are still together. While we both respect marriage, we ultimately decided it wasn't for us. The risk of divorce was legally and financially too much. Even though we get jokes and questions sometimes, we're happy just being together without the paperwork.

I changed my mind because of my business

We have an age-gap relationship. We each had fully independent careers and accomplishments before we started dating.

I've always been about business and feel like I was put on this earth to build things. I own three companies, including a PR firm I founded. I've worked so hard and been so careful to get where I am as an entrepreneur. Eric, meanwhile, is a financial speaker and instructor who's traveled all over the world.

Beyond the emotional benefits of getting married, we didn't see any clear upsides from a business perspective because we're both self-employed. While marriage comes with some tax benefits and can protect assets for some people if they separate, divorce can also get very complicated when you own your own businesses like we do.

Disentangling our lives, if it ever came to that, would be costly and energy-draining.

While we wanted to merge our worlds, what was most important to us was safeguarding what we've each built and keeping it secure on both sides.

After talking it over, we decided to end our engagement and keep our finances 100% separate while still remaining together.

The risk of divorce doesn't feel worth it

We're pretty non-traditional; even if we were to get married, we would do something casual like a Las Vegas ceremony. Eric, who was raised in Utah, got married around 20 because it was the norm. Now that we're older, he and I are more concerned with doing what feels right for us.

In the time we've been together, we've seen multiple close friends navigate divorce. It's made us firmer in our decision to stay together without marriage; we don't believe in pushing ourselves toward something we don't want.

We tell people we're like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been together for 40 years but never married. Their reasons for not marrying are just like ours: they never want to deal with an ugly divorce.

We still don't know what to call each other

Introducing each other always feels tricky. "Fiancé" isn't accurate, but "girlfriend" doesn't cut it, either.

Eric had two sons in his previous marriage; one of them has lived with him full-time. I helped parent him and act as his stepmother, even though I'm legally not. He even calls me his stepmom. I feel like I've earned more of a title than "girlfriend," but I also know it's just a word.

Our connection feels stronger than a piece of paper. We wake up each day and choose each other not out of obligation, but because we genuinely want to.