• I go to Disney World often, but my husband doesn't love Disney and has never wanted to join me.
• I finally got him to agree to a trip if I planned the perfect adults-only Disney itinerary.
• We had fun eating at nice restaurants, watching great shows, and going bar hopping with friends.

I work as the editor for a magazine about Disney World, so I'm at the parks at least four or five times a year (for work, I swear!).

Every time I've gone, I've asked my husband, Trent, to join me, but he's always said no.

He'd say Disney isn't for him as he's not a huge fan of the movies, he gets severe motion sickness on the tamest of rides, and he hates big crowds. However, I was convinced I could plan a trip to win him over if only he'd give me a chance.

Earlier this year, we finally went together — and he loved it. Here's the adults-only trip that sealed the deal.

I made sure we had a sit-down meal at a nice restaurant at least once a day.

When I travel to Disney World for work, I'm always on the go, chasing stories and trying to cram in as many experiences as possible. That means my meals are usually quick Dole Whips and pretzels while standing in line.

However, to win Trent over, I decided to slow down and indulge in some of Disney World's best dining.

We visited at least one sit-down restaurant a day and stayed far away from character dining and buffets, where the food is usually an afterthought.

One of our favorite meals was at Sanaa, where we got the world-famous bread service and then watched animals roaming the safari at Animal Kingdom Lodge.

We also got a fancy dinner at Toledo, a steakhouse at the top of Gran Destino Tower, and a massive brunch at Chef Art Smith's Homecomin'.

We geeked out on a behind-the-scenes tour of Epcot's greenhouses.

Disney offers a lot of cool backstage tours, but one of the nerdiest (and cheapest at under $50 a person) is the Behind the Seeds Tour at Epcot's Land Pavilion.

For about an hour, a knowledgeable scientist took us on a small group tour of all the greenhouses, and we learned about the innovative ways Disney grows food and manages pests.

Although the tour isn't adults-only, the subject matter might be a little dry for little ones — and we didn't see many kids here when we went.

If you're on an adults-only trip, this tour could be a great way to get a break from the screaming toddlers around the parks.

World Showcase was a great place to spend our time.

It's no secret that World Showcase is the best place for 21-and-over fun at Disney World, and Trent and I definitely ordered a few drinks from the different pavilions.

However, as history buffs, we also enjoyed touring World Showcase beyond the food and drinks.

We stopped by each country pavilion's museum and enjoyed live entertainment from the Voices of Liberty at the American Adventure Pavilion and the taiko drummers at the Japan Pavilion.

Our itinerary had plenty of room for naps and downtime.

When I do Disney alone, I'm a rope-drop-to-kiss-goodnight kinda guy, with no breaks in between. I love being at the parks from open to close, but I knew Trent would get burned out if we attempted that.

So I followed the advice I usually give parents with little kids: Take a midday break back at the hotel.

We'd nap, grab drinks at the pool bar, and even read in a hammock. Then, refreshed, we'd head back to the parks in the evening.

We took a sangria class and went bar-hopping with friends.

Coronado Springs Resort has a sangria class on weekends where you get to sample different types of sangria and concoct your own. This was a huge hit with Trent.

We also bar-hopped around Disney Springs with friends and went to the BoardWalk area's dueling piano bar, Jellyrolls, with some of my coworkers. (Jellyrolls is set to close later this month, unfortunately).

Plus, we made sure to stop at some of my favorite quiet spots at Disney World.

I get overwhelmed by large groups and loud noises, so I have a few favorite spots around the parks where I go to cool off and decompress.

I really liked sharing my favorite secret spots in Disney with Trent, who also doesn't do well in crowds. My favorite is Tom Sawyer Island, which is unfortunately set to be replaced with "Cars" attractions this year.

I also took him to the koi pond in Epcot's Japan Pavilion to decompress, the patio of BaseLine Tap House to people watch with beers, and the Discovery Island Trail at Animal Kingdom to go on a quiet walk.

Having some spaces all to ourselves at Disney World made the experience more magical.

Lastly, we focused on shows instead of big attractions.

Because Trent experiences severe motion sickness, we couldn't do too many rides. Haunted Mansion and Spaceship Earth were OK, but even something like Soarin' or Rise of the Resistance would've been too much for him.

Fortunately, this meant we weren't stressed about waiting in long lines to get on rides or managing Lightning Lane passes to try to skip them. Instead, we simply walked around and enjoyed the theming of each park.

We also spent a lot of time watching shows — and there are a lot of good ones at Disney. Our favorites included the "Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular," "Festival of the Lion King," and, of course, "Fantasmic."

• Richard Norris Williams survived the sinking of the Titanic by swimming to a lifeboat. 
• After he was rescued, Williams refused a doctor's suggestion to amputate his legs.
• He became the highest-ranking tennis player in the US and won an Olympic gold medal in 1924.

Richard Norris Williams overcame the odds on more than one occasion.

At 21, he survived the sinking of the Titanic in 1912. When a doctor suggested he have his frostbitten legs amputated, he refused, his obituary later said.

Incredibly, he regained full sensation in his legs and would go on to become an accomplished tennis player, winning a Wimbledon title and an Olympic gold medal.

It's been 113 years since the RMS Titanic, a British passenger ship operated by the White Star Line, set sail on its infamous voyage.

Over 2,000 people were aboard the ship when it collided with an iceberg and sank during the early hours of April 15, 1912.

Of all the passengers aboard the Titanic, about 700 people made it into lifeboats. Most of the Titanic victims who did not make it onto a lifeboat either drowned, went down with the ship, or froze to death in the Atlantic Ocean as they waited to be rescued.

The survival rate for first-class male passengers aboard Titanic was just 33%, according to the study "Titanic: A Statistical Exploration," making Williams' story of survival all the more extraordinary.

Richard Norris Williams was one of the most notable people who survived the Titanic sinking.

Williams, commonly known as R. Norris Williams, was born on January 29, 1891, in Geneva, Switzerland, though his parents were from the US, The New York Times reported.

A descendant of Benjamin Franklin, he grew up in a wealthy family as the son of a prominent lawyer, Charles Duane Williams, who taught him how to play tennis as a child.

After a bout of measles halted his original travel plans to the US, where he planned to attend Harvard University, he booked a ticket on the Titanic, the Times reported.

Williams boarded the Titanic with his father in 1912.

Williams was 21 when he and his father, 51, boarded the ship at Cherbourg, France, on April 10, 1912.

They both held first-class tickets, according to the Mariners' Museum and Park.

Of all the first-class and second-class passengers who boarded the Titanic, 45% of those passengers died in the sinking, according to Britannica, compared to 75% of third-class passengers who died.

Williams' escape from the Titanic may have inspired one of the most memorable scenes in the 1997 movie about its sinking.

Williams later recounted the events of the ship's sinking in an unpublished memoir, which was passed on to his widow and his four children after his death, Main Line Times & Suburban reported.

During the sinking, he freed a passenger trapped in one of the cabins by breaking down a door that was stuck, Sports Illustrated reported. A member of staff then approached him and threatened to fine him for damaging the ship's property.

A similar scene occurs in James Cameron's film "Titanic," when Jack and Rose break down a door during their escape and are reprimanded for damaging White Star Line property.

Williams and his father stayed on the ship as long as possible, but ultimately his father did not survive.

Both men either jumped into the water or were washed overboard, The New York Times reported.

Williams later wrote in his memoir, parts of which were republished by Main Line Times & Suburban in 2012, that his father was crushed by a falling funnel, though his accounts differed slightly at different points in his life.

To escape the sinking boat, Williams removed his shoes and swam to a lifeboat about 100 yards away, although he recalled being weighed down by a fur coat he was wearing over his life jacket, The New York Times reported.

He reportedly held on to the lifeboat before climbing into it, and sat up to his knees in freezing water and waited to be rescued.

The Times reported that "only about a dozen" of the passengers in Williams' lifeboat survived.

Williams sat in knee-deep water for several hours until he was brought aboard the Carpathia.

Once on the Carpathia, Williams was told by a doctor that his frostbitten legs would need to be amputated.

However, the aspiring tennis professional refused.

"I refuse to give you permission," Williams said, according to his 1968 obituary. "I'm going to need these legs."

Determined to save his legs, Williams walked around Carpathia's deck every two hours, eventually regaining sensation in his lower body, The New York Times reported.

Williams went on to win multiple tennis titles and he won a gold medal at the 1924 Paris Olympics.

The same year he survived the Titanic sinking, Williams won the US National Tennis Championships in mixed doubles alongside Mark K. Brown and ranked among the top 10 players in the world, according to the International Tennis Hall of Fame.

In 1916, he won the national title again and became the highest-ranked tennis player in the US.

In addition to his prowess on the tennis course, Williams also served in the US Army during World War I and was awarded two honors, the Légion d'Honneur and the Croix de Guerre, according to the Olympics.

After the war, Williams resumed his tennis career, and in 1920, he won a Wimbledon doubles title, The New York Times reported.

However, his tennis career reached its peak at the 1924 Paris Olympics when Williams won a mixed-doubles gold medal with his tennis partner, Hazel Hotchkiss Wightman.

Williams married twice and had four children after surviving the disaster.

According to the Olympics, after retiring from professional tennis, Williams worked as an investment banker and then served as president of the Historical Society of Pennsylvania.

He was named a member of the International Tennis Hall of Fame in 1957, nine years before his death at the age of 77.

Williams died on June 2, 1968, in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania.

According to his New York Times obituary, he was survived by his widow, Frances "Sue" Gillmore Williams, three sons, and one daughter.

His widow died on June 13, 2001, according to Main Line Times and Suburban.

• My twin sister and I recently started looking for a home to buy together, but I got cold feet.
• I worried what would happen if one of us needed to get out of the mortgage for some reason.
• However, after talking to her about my fears, we decided to put an offer down.

My twin sister and I are seven minutes apart. We've worked together, traveled together, and, for the past five years, rented our two-bedroom flat together.

We're now in the position of trying to buy our first house together, and it hasn't been easy. Both of us have found new jobs and are saving as much as possible while also paying rent and living our lives. Now, with some financial help from our family, we have spent the past few weeks house-hunting.

Joint home ownership was an obvious next step for us. We've endured every argument we could have had, overcome many different situations, and weathered family secrets and friend fallouts by each other's side.

The one thing neither of us has ever experienced is a serious relationship. At 28, we've both been perpetually single, with a few dates and encounters sprinkled through the years. I'm very lucky to have a built-in best friend who shares many of the same opinions and dreams as me, who I can turn to when I want to try somewhere new for dinner or when I want to go on holiday.

While I'm very lucky to have someone I can buy a house with, the reality of the situation is setting in, and I'm starting to get cold feet.

I started to worry about making such a huge commitment

Buying a house is a huge financial decision, a lifetime commitment that we've always aspired to, but I can't help but be bogged down by anxious thoughts. What if such a big financial commitment causes issues for us further down the line? What if one of us meets someone and then needs to get out of our mortgage? What if one of us gets a job that requires relocation?

Many of my friends have also echoed worries about the potential long-term impact of making such a huge decision. Many of them have bought their own house after they've settled down with a long-term partner and a job they plan to stay in for life, whereas I'm not as settled. I love that I'm not tied down right now and that I have very few responsibilities. I could move to another city next week if I wanted.

After falling in love with a house we viewed, I decided it was time to be honest with my sister about my doubts and fears. My sister and I might share similar opinions on food, music, films, and clothes, but we differ in how we feel about buying a house right now.

I talked to my sister about my fears

While I was riddled with anxiety and apprehensiveness, I had no idea how she felt, and in our discussion, I saw that she was steadfast in her opinion that buying a house together is the right decision. She is of the opinion that these hypothetical issues shouldn't prevent us from a major life decision.

I'm glad I opened up because we started to work through our differing opinions with understanding and compassion. I feel immense relief after sharing my fears, and even though I didn't think it was possible, we feel even closer now.

Although I still share those same worries, I've decided to stop letting hypothetical fears get in the way of something my sister and I both want. We've discussed what will happen if one of us gets into a relationship and we need to buy the other out, and even though we haven't put anything in writing or legalized anything, we have agreed to handle it with as much honesty as possible. My family has even promised to be the go-between if any issues arise in the future and will step in to help broker a deal between us.

We've decided to move forward and put an offer on the house we both loved. I've decided to look at the situation in a positive light after realizing how happy I am with where I live, who I live with, and what my life might look like if I owned my own home.

Whether we get the house or not is up to a myriad of contributing factors. But what I've taken away from this experience is that it will be an adventure, and that's one of the many things my sister and I do well together.

• When my daughter needed to get into law school, I pulled strings to get her accepted.
• I also got her a job at my law firm after graduation, and now some colleagues don't respect her.
• I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision, but I don't regret helping her.

One of my fondest memories of my daughter is going home after a long day of work at my old law firm and seeing her sitting on the steps, anxiously waiting to ask me about my day. She would run toward me, grab my briefcase, and help me into the house.

She would then call me Superman and ask if I had settled any big cases or saved the world that day. I was a paralegal at the time, working my way up the totem pole, but the idea of helping others through legal processes excited her. That's when I knew that she would make a great lawyer.

True to that, her passion for law never wavered. While many kids are fickle and change their minds about careers as they go through life, my daughter was consistent in what she wanted.

Eventually, I earned my law degree and became a practicing lawyer. She enjoyed helping in my office during spring and summer break. As a parent, watching her in action inspired my desire to set her up for success.

I helped my daughter out early in her career

Having attended law school, I knew a couple of school administrators and professors who equally encouraged my daughter to enroll in a legal course since she wanted to practice law.

My relationship with them played a great role in helping her secure a spot in a good school, but she still had to do the work and keep her grades up to graduate.

After graduation, I vouched for her skills and expertise among the other lawyers in my firm. Most people saw it as a father speaking highly of her daughter. Because of the great history we had and the standard employment protocol, the legal experts put her through a round of interviews, which she aced.

I saw nothing wrong with using my connections to help my daughter land a job. She is smart, graduated with honors, and passed the bar exam. Some people believe that we should all start from the bottom up, but I've always been the kind of person who would never turn down an added advantage.

My daughter isn't well-respected at work by some

I've worked for over 30 years in my law firm. It's no secret that I used my influence and the relationships I have formed to help my daughter acquire a job. I don't shy away from pointing this out to colleagues. I even discussed my desires and intentions with them while my daughter was still in school.

However, the downside is that some colleagues think my daughter didn't earn her keep. It feels like she is not well-respected for her brilliant mind and always gets the shorter end of the stick when it comes to work projects.

This has played out in numerous instances, and she even feels like she has to downplay her ideas so the limelight is not constantly on her. Granted, she could find a job solely based on her accomplishments, but as a parent, I don't see the purpose of going the long way when I can help.

I've had moments where I wonder if I did the right thing, but watching her come to work every day with a smile on her face despite the odds makes me feel like we are on the right path.

I've had numerous conversations with her about some of her colleagues feeling like she got the easy way out. This would be disheartening for anyone, but it only fuels her fire to do better and chart her own career path.

She knows she can leave and find a job in any other law firm of her choosing, but working together offers us both a sense of comfort that we are holding on to.

I don't regret helping my daughter

I'm slowly realizing that a job connection for any of my children could leave them feeling like they constantly need to prove themselves among their colleagues.

I encourage all of them to be their best. I've imparted life lessons and resources to see them through any situation. But if my daughter ever feels like my influence is standing in her way, I would gladly step back and let her find her own path.

As we've heard, there's no manual to parenting. Sometimes, we make decisions we think are in the best interest of our children's happiness, only to deal with unexpected challenges down the line.

• The latest episode of "SNL" saw Trump world meet "The White Lotus."
• James Austin Johnson returned as Trump, parodying Jason Isaac's beleaguered financier from the HBO show.
• The spoof seems to have been a hit with fans, with many calling it the shows funniest skit in some time.

"Saturday Night Live" continued to roast key White House figures in this weekend's episode, which saw President Donald Trump and his inner circle checking in to the "The White Lotus."

Retitled "The White POTUS," James Austin Johnson returned as the US president, parodying Jason Isaac's beleaguered financier from the HBO show.

In the wake of the real president's tariff announcements — which have sparked chaos in global financial markets — Johnson's caricature of Trump is seen numbing his pain with a prescription bottle of chicken nuggets and threatening to shoot Uncle Sam himself (Andrew Dismukes).

As Johnson's Trump fights an existential crisis at the breakfast table, Chloe Fineman, playing his wife Melania but embodying Parker Posey's iconic character from the show, asks: "Can you imagine how awful it would if America lost all its money and no one respected us anymore?"

"You would never let our economy go to pieces, right, hon?" she continues, as Johnson's Trump's phone pings with a news flash about a tariffs-induced recession.

The pre-taped sketch also saw Mikey Day play Trump Jr., Alex Moffat as Eric Trump, and Scarlett Johansson as Ivanka Trump.

In line with her "White Lotus" counterpart, Johansson's Ivanka is seen seeking spiritual enlightenment, only to change her mind when she's told: "You must ask yourself: 'Am I ready to give up greed and material possessions in order to lead an honest and ethical life?'"

Elsewhere, Beck Bennett returned as a shirtless Russian President Vladimir Putin, Kenan Thompson appeared as Tiger Woods, and the episode's celebrity host Jon Hamm portrayed RFK Jr.

The star-studded lineup also featured a brief appearance from musical guest Lizzo, who played a disgruntled American who realized their savings had tanked.

"Oh, my God, there's $5 million in my bank account," she said. "It was 20 million last week."

The skit seems to have been a hit with fans, with some on social media lauding it as one of the best sketches the show has done in some time.

"'The White Potus' is the most brilliant and well-done satire SNL has done this century," one X user wrote.

"Gonna need at least 10 seasons of this," another said.

"The White Potus is the funniest thing Saturday Night Live has done in years," a third added.

Earlier in the episode, Johnson's Trump was also the focus of an Easter-themed cold open, which began by dramatizing the bible story of Jesus (played by Mikey Day) casting moneylenders out of the temple on his arrival in Jerusalem.

"Remind you of anyone?" Johnson's Trump said, interrupting the sequence. "I also got rid of money last week, but instead of one temple, I did a whole country. Maybe even the globe. The money's gone."

"Hi, it's me, your favorite president, Donald Jesus Trump, comparing myself to the son of God once again," he continued. "Many people are even calling me the Messiah because of the mess I, uh, made out of the economy, all because of my beautiful tariffs."

• Easter dinner can be a perfect opportunity to try out new recipes in your Crock-Pot or slow cooker.
• Side dishes like carrots, scalloped potatoes, and green bean casserole can be made in a slow cooker.
• You can even use a slow cooker to make your Easter ham.

Easter is right around the corner, making it the perfect time to start planning your menu. 

Easter meals typically include dishes like ham, lamb, potatoes, and fresh seasonal vegetables, and they can all be made in a slow cooker, a tool more often associated with winter stews and game-day dips.

A Google Trends analysis over the last five years showed that searches for "slow cooker" typically rise in November and December, suggesting it's a popular tool for holiday cooking and feeding a larger crowd.

Business Insider consulted slow-cooker recipes and Leigh Anne Wilkes, the author of "Holiday Slow Cooker: 100 Incredible and Festive Recipes for Every Celebration," to determine the best slow-cooker recipes to make this Easter. 

Here are 11 Easter dinner side dishes you can make in a slow cooker.

Mac and cheese is a crowd-pleasing side dish.

"Mac and cheese is amazing in the slow cooker and one of my favorite ways to make it," Leigh Anne Wilkes told Business Insider.

Wilkes likes to use a variety of cheeses in her recipe for slow-cooker mac and cheese — including sharp cheddar, Monterey Jack, mozzarella, and Parmesan — and she tops it with a generous amount of crispy bacon.

"Whether you have a houseful of kids or it's just the two of you, the slow cooker can make cooking so much easier," Wilkes said. "I often refer to it as my secret weapon to getting dinner on the table."

You can also make creamy mashed potatoes in a slow cooker.

Mashed potatoes can be a big hassle, from parboiling them to mashing and finding a space for them on the stove.

However, mashed potatoes can easily be made in a slow cooker. Just make sure to add water to your pot, or you won't get the desired consistency. The potatoes should take about four hours to become tender enough to mash. Then, add heavy cream, butter, or chives to taste.

"Even if you don't cook in the slow cooker, it is the perfect way to keep things warm," Wilkes said. "The biggest challenge with a holiday meal is getting all the food done at the same time and the slow cooker is a perfect place to keep things warm while the rest of the meal finishes cooking. If your potatoes finish up before the main dish, keep them warm in the slow cooker."

Another option is a warm German potato salad with ingredients like mustard, crispy bacon, and softened celery.

However, you'll want to give yourself plenty of time, as it will take multiple hours for the potatoes to soften.

Buffalo chicken dip is another quick and easy favorite for a holiday gathering.

One of the benefits of making a slow-cooker Buffalo chicken dip — or any other side dish in a slow cooker — is that it can be prepared well ahead of time and reheated when you're ready to eat.

Green bean casserole can also be made in a slow cooker.

Green bean casserole is a favorite side dish at many holiday gatherings, from Thanksgiving to Easter, and a recipe can easily be made in a Crock-Pot or slow cooker.

Slow-cooked glazed carrots are delicious and easy to make in a slow cooker.

Wilkes told BI one of her favorite ways to use a slow cooker on Easter or another holiday is to make her recipe for honey or maple-glazed carrots. 

"The slow cooker is the perfect thing to use when putting together a holiday meal," Wilkes said. "Especially when you are limited on oven space, it can be your second or third oven. I often have two or three slow cookers going for a holiday meal."

Balsamic Brussels sprouts can also be served as a side dish at Easter.

Simply toss them in with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper and cook until tender.

Top with balsamic glaze, goat cheese, pine nuts, and more for a delicious side dish.

Scalloped potatoes, or potatoes au gratin, don't need precious oven space to prepare.

This recipe for slow-cooker scalloped potatoes from Damn Delicious instructs you to prepare the cream sauce beforehand, before pouring it over sliced potatoes in the slow cooker and cooking them on high heat for four to five hours.

Dinner rolls can also be made in a slow cooker or Crock-Pot.

You might be shocked to discover you can actually make warm, fluffy dinner rolls in a slow cooker. One recipe from I Heart Eating teaches you how to make the perfect dinner-roll dough and bake it only using a slow cooker.

You can also kick your rolls up a notch with these cheesy slow-cooker rolls.

"These Crock-Pot rolls are amazing," Wilkes said.

Plus, since this recipe calls for frozen rolls, it cuts out a lot of the extra prep work. To make, dip each roll into mayonnaise, then melted butter, then cheese, and place them in the slow cooker. Then, sprinkle garlic powder and parsley over the top and bake for two hours on high.

If you want to cook more than one kind of meat, you can use a slow cooker to prepare an Easter ham.

I know that for my family, we usually have both lamb and ham on the table at Easter dinner. If you want to make another kind of meat as a side dish or alternative, a slow cooker can be a great way to make cleanup and cooking a snap.

"If I am cooking a smaller ham, I will always cook it in the slow cooker," Wilkes told Business Insider.

Wilkes' recipe uses a glaze made from brown sugar, maple syrup, and brown mustard. 

• When I was laid off from my job in 2019, I struggled to feel professional and personal value.
• I did freelance writing while I looked for full-time jobs, but then my business started booming.
• Five years later, I'm freelancing full-time — and I'm proud of the career I've built for myself.

The journalism industry is notoriously fickle, and I've watched many colleagues around me get laid off over the years. However, the same fate didn't reach me until I was 15 years into my career.

In 2019, I was called into a corporate office I'd never been to so a human-resources employee I'd never met could slide a packet of information about my layoff across the desk.

I didn't know it then, but this unfortunate situation would actually push me to create a far more fulfilling career for myself.

At first, I faced practical challenges and an even bigger identity crisis

Shortly after I was let go, I focused on logistics and practical concerns.

I was already over 40, and I feared I might never get another "real" job again. After all, younger talent can be desirable in many industries because they're often much cheaper to employ.

Thankfully, my two toddlers and I were able to move on to my spouse's insurance. Their group plan and stable income meant our short-term financials weren't as big of a pressing concern as they could've been.

Soon, I realized the hardest part of being laid off would be overcoming my new feelings of professional (and, by extension, personal) valuelessness.

Rather than remembering my career triumphs, I wondered what I'd done along the way to find myself in this situation. I forgot what my marketable skills were and felt like an imposter as I overhauled my résumé and applied to job after job.

Freelancing helped me find a new path

While job hunting, I started freelance writing as a stopgap measure to bring in some income and stay tethered to a sense of relevance.

Although I worked on some interesting projects, I took many assignments that I considered beneath my career experience in terms of content or compensation (or both).

A few months later, the coronavirus pandemic turned the world upside down. I still had no viable full-time job offers on the table.

The job market felt uncertain like many other things at that time. I assumed the worst outcomes for my work prospects — but the opposite reality bore out.

With so many people home, isolated, and glued to their screens, the demand for digital content seemed to soar, lifting my writing business right with it.

Work picked up steam until I was so booked I could pass on gigs that paid less and didn't feel very rewarding. I started really taking pleasure in full-time freelance writing.

From there, I began developing a brand identity, reading books for writing professionals, and enrolling in virtual conferences and classes for freelancers.

For the first time in a while, I felt enriched by my work and everything I was learning.

Eventually, I realized how much I loved my remade professional life

Within about a year, my business was booming, and I was even making more money than I'd made as a corporate employee.

I was thriving in a career I'd remade on my own terms. Eventually, I stopped applying for corporate jobs.

I like being independent and not stymied by a corporate setting, where shareholders can dictate policies that aren't in line with my values and bosses can control creative and business decisions that affect my work.

It's been over five years since I was laid off, and I'm still doing my thing. There are ebbs and flows and peaks of valleys, and the journalism industry is still far from stable.

However, I can still say with full sincerity that I love my job — and I feel gratitude when I remember the path that led me here.

• Trump's tariffs on China could mean higher prices for wedding dresses.
• Some 90% of wedding gowns are made in China.
• David's Bridal says it's working to shift production outside China to avoid the added costs.

As if planning a wedding wasn't already stressful enough, President Donald Trump's trade war could make it even pricier to say "I do."

The Trump administration has issued a combined 145% tariff on many imports from China, where the vast majority of wedding dresses are produced.

That means the average wedding dress — which retails for about $2,000, according to a survey by The Knot, a wedding planning site — could end up more than twice as expensive if retailers pass the additional costs down to the consumer.

Bridal retailers told Business Insider that the tariffs have been a huge disruption to their industry. The National Bridal Retailers Association, which represents over 6,000 independent brick-and-mortar bridal stores around the United States, said as many as 90% of bridal gowns are produced in China.

"The overriding feeling is despair," Angie Oven, a bridal shop owner and president of the NBRA, told BI after a meeting she held with 75 of the group's members. "There's a little bit of PTSD right now because a lot of us really just recovered from COVID."

Oven, who owns The Bridal Gallery in Salem, Oregon, said shops are working closely with manufacturers to find solutions. The group is also appealing to lawmakers to push for bridal gowns to be added to a tariff exemption list.

"Our No. 1 goal is to be removed from the tariff list," Sandra Gonzalez, vice president of NBRA and owner of Sparkle Bridal Couture in Sacramento, said.

Although Americans often associate China with cheap goods, bridal shop owners said the quality of dresses produced in China at scale is remarkable, from the lace to the boning to the sometimes 10,000 beads handsewn onto the gowns.

"We do not have the infrastructure to produce the quality of goods that brides are demanding of us," Gonzalez said. "To build the factories and train the people, that would take a whole generation."

Price increases and uncertainty

Alicia Adams, owner of Her's Bridal & Special Occasion in Minden, Louisiana, said the price of gowns is already going up. Some manufacturers are raising the wholesale price of gowns by as much as 30%, while others are, at least for now, trying to absorb the cost.

"Now that it's over 100%, obviously those manufacturers and designers aren't able to absorb those costs," she told BI. "They're going to have to pass it down to us, which means we would have to pass it down to our brides."

Adams said some bridal stores might try to absorb the costs, but at the current tariff rate, it likely won't be feasible. Some might instead absorb 50% and then pass the other half on to shoppers.

Complicating the situation is that many bridal gowns are made-to-order, meaning some brides have already picked out and paid for dresses now being produced abroad. When those gowns are delivered, they could be hit with a huge tariff for which the bride or the bridal shop never planned.

Vanessa Gerstner, whose wedding is this September in Italy, told BI she's waiting for a dress she ordered in November to arrive from Australia — where tariffs on imported goods are 10%.

"I'm hoping that I won't get another huge charge on top of what I've already paid, but since it is being shipped directly to me and not a bridal salon, I think, from my understanding, I would have to eat that cost," she said.

She said the additional fee "isn't terrible," especially compared to other brides who are now opting for cheaper dresses than they originally planned due to the increased tariff costs.

Bridal consultant Alina Garza, who works at One Bridal in Annapolis, Maryland, said in a video posted to TikTok last week that dress designers have already reached out to her to say they'll be raising prices by up to 20%. Two are US designers that source fabric from India and China, she later told BI by direct message.

One commenter said she was "not able to sleep over this" and planned to have items from China shipped to Mexico, where she would pick them up. Another said the factory making her dress has paused all shipments.

Shifting production out of China

Trump has said one of his motivations for the tariffs is to encourage more manufacturing in the United States. But while big bridal companies are considering shifting production out of China, they aren't necessarily looking at the United States.

Kelly Cook, CEO of David's Bridal, the largest wedding retailer in the United States, told BI that the company is not "tariff-proof" but "tariff-resilient," in part because it has 36 design and production facilities around the world, including in Sri Lanka, the Philippines, and Myanmar.

In anticipation of tariffs, the company has been proactively shifting its production out of China over the past few months. Cook said the company has lowered its China-based production from 50% of its total just several months ago to 30% today.

The company is also working to help its partners, who primarily manufacture dresses in China, shift production to their facilities in countries that haven't been hit quite as hard by tariffs.

As of Friday, Cook said David's Bridal had not raised prices. "We want to do everything in our power not to pass anything on to the customer," she told BI.

The smaller bridal shops said they were also working with their manufacturers to avoid passing on costs to brides, but the longer the high tariffs remain, the harder that will be. Still, they said many bridal shops now have plenty of gowns in store that brides could take home, free of tariffs.

Adams, who owns the shop in Louisiana, said it's still too soon to tell how severe the impact will be and that she didn't want to cause fear among brides. "We don't want to freak people out and then a month later everything goes back to normal," she said.

Still, Adams is also concerned that if tariffs do raise prices, it could deter brides from visiting their local brick-and-mortar bridal stores, many of which are longtime fixtures on their local main street.

"We hope people in Washington will give a little," she said. "They don't want people to not get married and not celebrate life moments."

• My husband wanted to retire early, so I agreed to do the same, but I hated it.
• I went back to work while my husband remained retired and focused on saving money.
• Since I wanted to keep spending money, we often fought until we made a compromise.

I recently watched a webinar and was ready to push the "count me in" button and spend $3,000 on the program. However, I restrained myself because I value my marriage.

Dave and I used to be in sync as entrepreneurs. We ran his accounting firm and my consulting company out of the same office. We went to lunch daily, where we would share our goals, challenges, and wins. We freely spent money on business, pleasure, and family.

Dave loved his clients but not accounting itself, so he wanted to retire early at 55. I loved my clients and my work, so retirement was the last thing on my mind. But when Dave was ready, I agreed to give it a try.

It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

I retired with my husband, left the city, and started a new life

We went full-on with the retirement experience. We moved to a remote mountain ranch covered in redwoods, got three dogs, raised peacocks and chickens, bought a horse for our daughter, and took long walks in the woods.

Dave built fun things like a library, a teepee, a fully plumbed outhouse, and a gazebo nestled in the trees for our spa. He was in heaven.

I loved the lifestyle, but at 50, I missed the challenge of consulting and the satisfaction of teaching. Trees are great to look at, but they make lousy seminar participants and block the internet. My frustration was growing.

Retirement wasn't working for me

Dave called one morning. He was emptying our office and said, "I'm just going to get rid of all your training room chairs."

The words stabbed like a knife through my heart, and I lost it. I realized what that meant and fell into a chair, moaning that my life was over. No more clients, no more seminars, no more networking, no more anything — except trees, trees, and more trees.

Dave was dumbfounded. He said, "But we agreed to this." I told him I'd honor our agreement, but I didn't know how I could be happy letting my calling die in the woods.

He decided that we should move back to the city since I wanted to get back into action.

I was stunned. I knew how much he loved the mountain ranch, but I was grateful for the suggestion and agreed. We turned the ranch into a VRBO rental and returned to the city.

Back in the city, I restarted my business, our daughter went to school, and Dave continued his retired lifestyle. Retirement didn't just affect his activity level; it affected his mindset about money.

My husband is now in money-saving mode, while I want to spend

When we were both making money and could easily make more when we needed it, he was much less miserable. Now that he is on Social Security, he wants to spend almost nothing and make sure we have enough money to live on until we die.

My focus is the opposite. I don't want to hunker down. I want to expand. I see the business landscape changing at the speed of light, and I want to take every course, attend every conference, subscribe to every newspaper and magazine, and try every new gadget. All of these things take money.

When I first started rebuilding, Dave let me loot our retirement account, but then he put his foot down, and fireworks flew. After having the first real fights of our marriage, we finally came to a truce.

We agreed that I would no longer touch our nest egg, but I can spend anything I currently earn in any way I want. I only touch one bank account we set aside for my income and expenses. He handles everything else as if we are both retired.

I like to think that I'm the kite, and he's the string. It works for us.

• About 10 years ago, my husband and I decided to try homesteading.
• We wanted to be self-sufficient and moved to a 93-acre farm in rural Maine.
• Over time, we realized that it was harder than we thought and didn't actually save us money.

In 2015, my husband and I packed up our belongings — including half a dozen geese and a library of self-sufficiency how-tos — and moved our lives from two acres in a coastal suburb to a 93-acre farm in rural Maine.

My dream was to create a self-reliant life. Having grown up on stories of rural heroes from Thoreau to the Nearings, I wanted to embody an alternative to the life paths I observed around me. I did not want to climb any corporate ladders or buy into consumer culture. Instead, I believed I could scratch a more unconventional lifestyle out of Maine's rocky soil.

We started with chickens but realized that wouldn't actually lower the price of eggs

Like many beginning homesteaders, I was blissfully unaware of the cost of the lifestyle. In my mind, and according to all the books I read, we could reduce our income needs by limiting our expenses and cutting out 'wasteful' spending, like nights out and new clothes. Our needs would be further reduced by cutting out trips to the grocery store, instead growing our own food.

I knew that we would not be immediately self-sufficient. In fact, until the pandemic made working from home a necessity, I commuted in to work on rural country roads throughout our life on the homestead.

We started with chickens, like many other homesteaders do. Chickens have always been the 'gateway livestock' because they are small and easy to house, it's not hard to find someone to take care of chickens if you leave for the weekend, and chicks are relatively inexpensive at your local Tractor Supply. These days, chickens are more popular than they have ever been. With the price of eggs soaring, people believe that they can get 'free eggs' by putting some chickens in their backyard.

The problem is that chickens are actually a terrible way to get cheaper eggs. Over our years of homesteading, we learned that the costs to house, feed, and care for a few backyard chickens far outweigh the cost of simply paying for eggs, even at current record-breaking high prices. When we looked at our budget, we realized we were always paying more for chicken feed than we were saving on eggs.

Not only that, we quickly learned that chickens prefer to lay in spring and summer and sometimes don't provide eggs all winter, and they seemed to be a magnet for predators that would find any crack in the coop and decimate our flock. Birds can also be a health risk — we eventually lost our flock to Avian Flu in the spring of 2022, a disease that has grown more threatening to humans over the years.

The majority of our livestock choices ran us into similar problems. In order to get milk from goats, you have to breed them. That meant that every year, our Nigerian Dwarf goat would give birth to between one and five kids, and because we did not want an ever-expanding herd, we needed to sell them. The problem was, this was always a struggle; this adorable goat breed had become very popular, and every homesteader nearby had goat kids for sale. Visits from the vet were necessary to keep our herd healthy, and fencing was an ongoing cost — the saying among farmers is that a fence that can hold water can hold a goat. Because of their escape antics, goats also proved ineffectual at clearing brush, the fringe benefit we hoped they'd offer.

It's harder to be self-sufficient than I thought

My perspective on homesteading at the beginning may have been naive, but it was reinforced by countless homesteading writers and influencers who promote the lifestyle as sustainable. It took years for me to accept the realities of farm life. In the summer months, it was easy to replace many groceries with homegrown produce, but in winter, stored root vegetables and pickles became tiresome. While our animals did help us manage our land, they never did the work the way equipment could or saved us backbreaking labor. Few, if any, homesteads are truly self-sufficient. And those that are often only manage such a lifestyle through a radical lifestyle.

Even Thoreau — seen by many as the father of the self-reliance movement thanks to his seminal work Walden — had his mother do his laundry for him while he was living 'self-sufficiently' at Walden Pond. The Nearings relied on a steady stream of eager apprentices and income from books and speaking tours. A self-sufficient life did not mean frolicking with baby goats in the green fields. Instead, we learned the hard way that it looked more like spending early mornings injecting sick goats with medications, and crawling out of bed in the middle of the night to stoke the wood stove.

We had never expected it to be easy, but the continuous growth of to-do lists and tasks made it feel that for every bit of progress, there was more work to be done. Working constantly to keep up with our projects meant little time for anything else, from family and friends to pleasurable or intellectual leisure activities.

Some homesteaders I knew found lucrative side hustles, like promoting the lifestyle on social media or through writing, or happened upon another niche that provided income. For us, and most others, permaculture farm and small-scale livestock husbandry did not provide a livable wage. True self-sufficiency — the romantic vision of living off the land with little need for external income — proved to be an illusion.

Today, we still live on our remote farm. We keep a garden and even have a few goats that we neither breed nor milk but have as pets. We enjoy watching those goats kick about the yard and eat fresh fruit when it is in season, but we no longer strive to depend only on ourselves.

In the end, the real lesson of our time on the farm wasn't how to be self-reliant, but how to balance ideals with reality. And perhaps, most importantly, it taught me that rejecting one system doesn't mean escaping work — it just means choosing a different kind of labor.

• My parents divorced after 19 years of marriage.
• I had a hard time accepting that people I loved so dearly could grow to hate each other so much.
• Several years after the divorce, my parents moved in together and it's reshaped my view of love.

My divorced parents live together. It's something I used to be ashamed of and lie about whenever people would ask.

I'd say they lived separately or simply pretended they were still married. Now, I own it.

I don't know if this arrangement between my parents will last forever, but I'm happy they've found a way to make it work.

My parents lived apart for several years following the divorce

My parents divorced after 19 years of marriage when I was 17 and my sister was 10. It was a difficult time for everyone.

I found it hard to accept the idea that people I loved so dearly could grow so hateful toward one another.

The only thing that gave me solace was knowing they would no longer live together, so their arguments wouldn't ring through our adolescent ears.

My sister and I could try to have a relationship with both of them, separately and without bias. This, of course, took a while to achieve.

For the first few years after their divorce, me and my sister were in a constant battle of taking "sides." At one point, it felt like a competition of who — my mom or dad — could survive divorce better.

The financial struggle was apparent on both sides, and the resentment had overpowered everything of the happy life they once knew together.

Then, the pandemic hit.

My mom, a front-line nurse, developed debilitating long COVID and lost her job and income.

When my mom fell on hard times, it was my dad's idea to let her move into his home temporarily for a maximum of six months. Those six months have turned into four years.

At first, my sister and I felt like we were going through a second divorce

When our dad made the initial offer to our mom to move back in, my sister, who was living with my dad, and I — who lived out of state but came home often for monthslong stays in summer and winter — were beside ourselves.

At first, things were as you would expect for two divorcees living together.

They couldn't be in the kitchen at the same time. The fights were reminiscent of what we'd hear during their marriage.

It felt like we were going through a second divorce. However, within the second year, the situation started to improve.

In 2022, we even had Christmas dinner as a family for the first time in 10 years.

My mom made her famous lasagna and we watched "White Christmas" together in the family room.

They still have completely separate lives

Four years after they moved back in together, my parents are still divorced, and the divide between them is still there.

They have their own social circles and don't often hang out together unless me and my sister are present.

However, it's interesting to watch how preferences from 19 years of marriage can never fade.

My mom doesn't think twice before switching over my dad's laundry, and he always brings home an extra slab of ribs when he runs to Portillos, my mom's favorite meal.

It took a while for them to find the proper boundaries to make this living arrangement work, but eventually, they found a decent enough common ground.

I don't know if this situation will last forever, but it's shaped how I look at love

I never thought I would have hope when speaking about my parents' relationship.

Growing up, I always had a preserved idea of love. I would frequently ask myself, "Where does the love go?"

However, since my parents have learned how to cohabit, I've learned that love doesn't leave, it just changes shape, no matter the resentment or hatred that might be attached.

Although sometimes dysfunctional, their care for one another has found ways to overpower the hate.

I never thought I would experience the day where I looked at this situation as convenient. Yet, here I am, feeling lucky that I got both my parents back.

I now come home for the holidays to one family in one house. A reminder that love has the power to evolve into something that can still surprise and inspire.

• 42-year-old Vanessa Voss purchased a Cybertruck last year to help advertise her business.
• In the last two weeks, she and her business have received threats online, over the phone, and on Reddit.
• Voss spent $436 on a self-defense course for her office and directed her employees to leave before dark.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Vanessa Voss, a 42-year-old business owner living in Tacoma, Washington. Business Insider has verified her identity and recent harassment. This story has been edited for length and clarity.

Last year, we purchased a Cybertruck for solely business purposes.

It has our logo and branding on it, along with my photo on the front. We also have a Silverado and a Jeep Cherokee that is wrapped in my logo. It just made sense then to buy a vehicle that allowed further marketing and advertising for our business.

I'm the owner of Voss Insurance Group, an agency that helps people navigate retirement and transition to Medicare. We don't work for the federal government but we facilitate enrolling people in prescription drug coverage, Medicare supplements, and Medicare Advantage.

Part of what my agency does is do a lot of branding and advertising related to the enrollment and Medicare process by offering free guidance and local services.

The purchase was made before people set Cybertrucks on fire or took strong political stances on Tesla. The edges of the vehicle are flat and it allows for enough description and visual components to increase our branding.

As of two weeks ago, we have been harassed online, over the phone, and via email for having a Cybertruck.

Now, me and my business are under attack

The very first phone call that I received was from a gentleman saying that he was going to kill me.

The blocked caller also told me that I am a Nazi, cussed me out, and said I should kill myself. That day, I received a total of 12 phone calls, some of which were blocked and others that weren't.

I filed a police report over the phone after the initial death threat. I tried to report every number that called and we are still documenting calls and voicemails. There's not a lot the police can do as far as harassment unless someone shows up at our home or at our business and becomes violent. A police sergeant I'm friendly with recommended that I keep the Cybertruck in my garage until things subside though.

The calls have continued, although they've died down a little since that first weekend. The callers leave voicemails saying I should be embarrassed, that we need to take the trash out, and that I'm going to need a warranty because something is going to happen to it.

They even posted a picture of my vehicle in the driveway of my residence on Reddit so that people could further attack us on social media.

We also received three really terrible Google reviews and two on Yelp. We spent hours trying to get them removed and eventually were able to.

Most of the calls are directed at me, but some of my employees have also experienced harassment. One of my agents was speaking to someone who originally seemed interested in buying insurance and then started sending replies to her emails that were very vulgar.

We received a call this week from a gentleman who threatened to spread the word about my business negatively to the community. He was treated with professionalism but we did have to hang up on him for tying up our phone lines.

I believe it's a coordinated attempt since different people have been calling. They all communicate similarly, saying things like, "We'll tell everyone" or "We'll spread the word about you."

I hired a self-defense instructor to come to my office

I don't feel like I'm at the point where I am scared for my life, but I am certainly taking precautions to protect my staff. We are an office of four women and our building rests right on a busy street.

Soon after the harassment began, I paid $436 for a two-hour self-defense session. The instructor is scheduled to come to my office to teach my staff self-defense tactics in the event that the situation becomes violent, or if people physically show up here at my office or at my home. The session will focus on a number of methods including verbal de-escalation, active shooter and intruder response training, and escape from common holds.

My employees are a little uneasy. I work really hard to give them a really safe environment and make them feel welcome, but we can't control what society does. We had a conversation about protecting ourselves in the office and leaving before it's dark. We also made sure to tint the windows in the Cybertruck so people can't physically see us, although my husband is the one who drives it.

I feel disheartened

I am very disheartened by the fact that people think it's okay to attack any individual.

Under no circumstance is it okay to harass an individual. I don't think that these people really understand the role we play in helping people with Medicare and retirement. They're just assuming that we're adding to what's going on from a political stance.

If Social Security or Medicare were to dissolve, I would be the first out of a job. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me to support one way or the other. I just want to help people with Medicare and make sure that people who are retired have some peace of mind.

We all have opportunities and careers, but that doesn't mean we agree with everything that happens in the world.

I'm just more baffled than anything. These are behaviors exhibited by grown adults, which blows my mind. There is no level of respect that these people are giving us without even reaching out and getting our side of the story. It's just straight attack mode, which is really unfortunate.

I haven't considered selling the Cybertruck because it takes a whole lot of courage to consistently grow and work and strive really hard to be successful in business and help the community. I am not one that will be bullied. I'm just not going to allow a group of people to bully me into actually trading in my vehicle.

• This post originally appeared in the BI Today newsletter.
• You can sign up for Business Insider's daily newsletter here.

Welcome back to our Sunday edition, where we round up some of our top stories and take you inside our newsroom. Aspiring entrepreneurs, take note: A new AI startup founded by Yale students aims to compete with LinkedIn — and we got a hold of the pitch deck it used to raise $3 million.

On the agenda today:

• Her father created Spider-Man. She was cut off from the Marvel empire.
• Microsoft is mulling job cuts that could happen as early as next month.
• Trump is reviled from Canada to China. American tourists are paying the price.
• Our reporter visited Hooters and saw why the chain is facing bankruptcy.

But first: House hunting is about to change.

If this was forwarded to you, sign up here. Download Business Insider's app here.

This week's dispatch

The Great Zillow Zap

Many of us lurk on real estate portals like Zillow and Redfin, even if just for fun. Now, users are coming across properties on these sites that appear to be "off-market" but are actually for sale … if you know where to look.

Our housing reporter extraordinaire James Rodriguez published a must-read story this week about how new rules for real estate agents are pushing listings away from catch-all platforms toward exclusive brokerage sites. I sat down with James to learn more — and to get his prediction for what's next in the housing market.

James, this week you wrote about changes that mean fewer home listings are making it onto sites like Zillow, or are taking longer to land there. That's no fun for lurkers! But overall, does this shift benefit buyers, sellers, both or neither?

Buyers are, for sure, the big losers: They just want to see all the homes available for sale, and it's getting tougher to do that. For sellers, they might benefit from a private test run within a brokerage before their property hits very public Zillow. But Zillow says it will penalize sellers who try to do this, and there is certainly a benefit to reaching the widest possible range of buyers. The true winners will be the big brokers and agents who end up controlling access to listings and boosting their bottom lines.

In the last year or so, the rules around brokerage commissions and listings have changed — are home buyers and sellers truly better off? Or not so much?

The short answer is not really. The status quo is hard to overcome: Agent commissions are roughly the same, and consumers are confused about all the new rules (or don't even know about them). That said, as the news continues to spread, there will be more opportunities for savvy buyers and sellers to negotiate better outcomes. That's why I've spent a lot of time breaking down these changes and what they mean for the average person.

You wrote in October that it looked like the housing market would de-freeze by spring. How is that prediction working out?

There are definitely some bright spots. Buyers have a lot more options this spring: I wrote that inventory would be the big figure to watch, and the number of homes for sale in March was up almost 30% from a year ago. But both sides are, understandably, cautious right now: The typical mortgage rate jumped this week to around 7%, and there's a lot of economic uncertainty, to put it mildly. Stay tuned!

Growing up Marvel

JC Lee has been widely portrayed as the villain of the Stan Lee story: the spoiled, impossible child who exploited her father, then failed to protect him in his final years.

People close to JC and her father tell a different story. "The main thing JC inherited from her father is she has a real knack for surrounding herself with con men," one of Stan's closest confidants said. Now, JC is ready to tell her side of the story.

The tumultuous life of Stan Lee's only child.

Microsoft mulls more job cuts

Another round of Microsoft cuts could come as soon as May, focusing on middle managers, non-coders, and more low performers, according to people familiar with the matter.

It's unclear how many roles will be slashed. However, some Microsoft organizations want to increase their "span of control" and decrease the ratio of product managers or program managers to engineers, sources told BI.

Inside layoff discussions.

Make America Hated Again

As spring and summer vacations roll in, some American tourists are finding an unseasonally icy welcome abroad. Treated with awkwardness, pity, or straight-up hostility, they're starting to rethink their travel plans.

For American expats, their home country becoming the global frenemy means some conversations about President Trump are unavoidable. Even when Americans leave the US, its politics follow them.

Warning: traveling while American.

What happened to Hooters?

Hooters of America filed for bankruptcy in March. BI's Alex Bitter went to one location to find out why. He said the signature tank tops hadn't gone anywhere, and the fries were underwhelming.

Hooters is known for its scantily clad waitresses, but the CEO of the chain's founding group wants to make the restaurants more family-friendly.

So long, "Bikini Nights."

This week's quote:

"I've been concerned about Elon Musk back since he was at PayPal, and then with the purchase and dismantling of Twitter."

— Actor Alex Winter, who helped kick-start the global Tesla Takedown movement.

More of this week's top reads:

• America is about to become one giant yard sale.
• Elon Musk's xAI is hiring workers to push its chatbot Grok to the limit.
• Mira Murati doubled the fundraising target for her new AI startup to $2 billion. It could be the largest seed round in history.
• Canada has billions in US real estate. Trump's threats put that at risk.
• A new wave of tech investors is supercharging a boom in female founders.
• MrBeast wants to build the next Disney. Here's what his company's CEO is pitching to investors.

• Jensen Huang shot down comparisons to Elon Musk and yelled at his biographer. The author told BI what Huang is like.

  ---

  The BI Today team: Dan DeFrancesco, deputy editor and anchor, in New York. Grace Lett, editor, in Chicago. Amanda Yen, associate editor, in New York. Lisa Ryan, executive editor, in New York. Elizabeth Casolo, fellow, in Chicago.

• Business Insider spoke to 6 cybersecurity recruiters about the top names to have on your résumé.
• Recruiters said the companies can vary depending on the sector of cybersecurity you work in.
• Recruiters mentioned Palo Alto Networks, the NSA, Big Tech, and the Big Four consulting firms.

If you work in cybersecurity, having the right skill set is a top priority — but having a strong name on your résumé doesn't hurt.

Domini Clark, founder and CEO of Blackmere Consulting, told Business Insider that "it's not terribly important" for entry-level candidates to have the most well-known names on their résumés. In fact, working for small companies can sometimes help provide a broader understanding of the space.

But as you climb the career ladder, Clark said a well-known company can provide "credibility" and indicate strong leadership experience exposure to handling enterprise problems.

While success in some tech career paths can be closely tied to the major tech giants or FAANG companies, cybersecurity can offer more versatility since it's integrated across almost every industry. Many companies have their own internal cybersecurity teams, for example, which means professionals in the field aren't limited to working at firms specializing in cybersecurity.

Business Insider spoke to six cybersecurity recruiting experts to hear which companies are considered the most powerful names to have on your résumé. Several mentioned that while there are big names in the industry, the right skills and experience are the top indicators of talent.

Recruiters also told BI that what is considered a top name depends largely on the sector of cybersecurity.

"A chemical company would be less interested in someone coming from Meta," said Brent Stokes, director of recruiting at staff company Blue Signal Search. In that case, an industry-specific company like Westlake would be of more interest.

Here's what recruiters said.

Palo Alto Networks

Palo Alto Networks was mentioned by most recruiters BI spoke to. It partners with a number of companies worldwide, including Google, to help them cloud and AI adoption securely.

Janelle Bieler, the head of US tech talent at global tech talent and engineering company Akkodis, said that the company is "focused on complex defense strategies" and is known to operate in a "very active environment" which many employers in the space find attractive.

However, it's worth noting that different companies have different specialties. If a candidate is interested in working on the product side of cybersecurity, Palo Alto is considered a top name, Stokes told BI. If they want to be on the consulting side, then a Big Four firm may be a better fit, he added.

Cisco

Cisco is a leading technology company offering companies software, networking security, and computing solutions. The company's security business has recently experienced significant growth, specifically with products like Cisco Secure Access, a "zero trust" security solution.

Art Zeile, CEO of tech careers marketplace Dice, told BI that big names like Cisco are doing "cutting-edge work when it comes to securing networks of all sizes."

But it's the skills you learned at the job and how you used them that are the most important, he added.

Crowdstrike

Crowdstrike is one of the most well-known companies in the cybersecurity space, and it's used by Big Tech companies like Microsoft.

Last year, Crowdstrike made headlines when a global IT outage resulted in worldwide disruptions to travel, banks, and supermarkets, causing potentially billions of dollars in damage. The company seems to have maintained a strong reputation in the space though, as it made the top of the list for most recruiters BI spoke to.

While the Crowdstrike outage was the kind of incident cybersecurity firms want to avoid, in general, exposure to challenges in the field is considered beneficial for candidates. Clark told BI that "cyber leaders who have walked through the fire" make for the most compelling candidates.

"Someone who has successfully navigated a company through a breach or major security event has invaluable experience and perspective," Clark said.

Federal agencies and contractors

A number of cybersecurity executives BI has spoken to came from government agencies, including the military, prior to joining the corporate world. Some have said that it provided a way to get hands-on experience right out of the gate.

Patricia Karam, founder of employment agency Mission Recruit, told BI that experience with agencies like the National Security Agency or Department of Homeland Security can carry a lot of weight.

"The NSA historically has a tremendous program," Stuart Mitchell, founder and recruiter at Hampton North, told BI.

Additionally, Karam said companies that contract for the Department of Defense, like Raytheon or Lockheed Martin, are also highly regarded for their "threat intelligence and operating in high-compliance environments."

Big Tech

Mitchell told BI that "the real prestige in security is mostly in tech."

"Particularly Netflix, Apple, and Google, have tremendous reputations in security," Mitchell said. "If I could rank it I'd probably say Apple, Netflix, Google."

Microsoft was also mentioned by several of the recruiters BI spoke to. Stokes, at Blue Signal Search, told BI that when a hiring manager sees a candidate from Microsoft or Amazon's AWS, "there's an assumption that the candidate has been vetted, trained, and exposed to mature and complex environments."

However, the big logos aren't everything and Stokes said some hiring managers also want to know that a candidate can wear multiple hats or adapt to a small team environment.

The Big Four consulting firms

Some recruiters BI spoke to said they consider the big consulting firms a strong indicator of solid experience on a cybersecurity résumé. The Big Four references the largest accounting and consulting firms, which are EY, Deloitte, KPMG, and PwC.

Clark, from Blackmere Consulting, said she's seen some candidates come out of the cyber divisions at the major consulting firms, including Deloitte and EY.

"With those firms, a candidate has the opportunity to see the problems in multiple environments," Clark said. "It serves as sort of a crash course on the different types of issues in different industries, regions, tech stacks, etc."

• You probably know Blake Lively from her roles in "Gossip Girl" and "It Ends With Us."
• She's also famous for her standout fashion, which she's worn at the Met Gala, premieres, and more.
• That said, Lively has missed the mark with a handful of her outfits.

In addition to being a Hollywood name and the subject of countless headlines, Blake Lively is also a style star.

The 37-year-old actor has been making fashion statements since the start of her career, from dramatic Met Gala moments to streetwear that pushes the envelope.

And many of her outfits have been stunning — even iconic. Others, however, could have been better.

Here's a look at the best and worst looks she's worn so far.

Blake Lively's red ball gown at the 2018 Met Gala was arguably her best look of all time.

Atelier Versace designed her ornate ensemble for the "Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination" event.

It had a gold corseted bodice embellished with crystals, a long pleated train, and metallic appliqués in intricate patterns all over its full skirt. It took the fashion house more than 600 hours to make.

Lively completed the iconic Met Gala look with a spiked headpiece, Christian Louboutin shoes, and Lorraine Schwartz jewelry.

On the other hand, her "Deadpool & Wolverine" premiere outfit was one of her worst.

Lively walked the red carpet in July 2024 wearing her own version of Deadpool's famous gear.

Atelier Versace designed her form-fitting catsuit, which had long, gloved sleeves, an off-the-shoulder neckline, and black lace embellishments across its shining fabric. She wore it with velvet pumps and statement jewelry.

Though red is definitely one of Lively's colors, the bottom half of the outfit had too much fabric and was bunching around her ankles. The overall look also felt more like a costume than a fashion statement.

Lively stunned in a sparkling blue gown at a 2024 Tiffany & Co. event.

In May 2024, Lively proved there's no better color to wear to a Tiffany & Co. event than blue.

She visited one of the brand's New York City stores that month in a beaded dress made in the 1960s. Its vibrant blue color complemented Lively's blonde hair, and its scalloped pattern showcased its old-school glamour.

The garment came from the vintage bridal shop Happy Isles, while her statement diamond jewels were courtesy of Tiffany & Co.

Her blue suit for a screening of "A Simple Favor" didn't work as well.

She exclusively wore suits during the "A Simple Favor" press tour in September 2018, which was both a smart business decision and the ultimate example of method dressing. Everyone was talking about her fashion.

Unfortunately, the specific set she chose for the film's Paris premiere wasn't her best choice — mainly because the look was ill-fitting.

First, her blue jacket with a black sequin pattern seemed too big. It had sharp shoulder pads that created a square silhouette and long sleeves that covered most of her hands.

Similarly, her matching slacks were so long that they gathered above her ankles. Some tailoring could have greatly improved the look.

The actor borrowed a colorful dress from Britney Spears last summer, and it looked equally pretty on her.

Versace designed the semi-sheer gown that Lively wore to the US premiere of "It Ends With Us" in August 2024.

The dress — originally modeled by Spears during Milan Fashion Week in 2002 — had a single strap that reached across Lively's collarbone, an angled V-shaped slit across the chest, and loose pleats at the bottom of its skirt.

It was also decorated from top to bottom with multicolored sequins in bright shades of pink, purple, blue, green, and yellow.

The dress was fun and timeless, and Lively's choice to wear it only added to its fashion history.

There was one big issue with the ball gown Lively wore to the Copenhagen premiere of "It Ends With Us."

She walked the red carpet in August 2024 while wearing a ball gown from Atelier Versace. Some elements of the gown were pretty, but there was ultimately too much going on.

Its full skirt, for example, was decorated with both an elegant blue pattern and gold detailing. Though it might have worked if paired with a solid bodice, it instead sat below a corset with sheer waist panels and a beaded chest.

The top half of the dress distracted from the garment's glamour and made the outfit appear incohesive.

Lively proved that florals and strapless gowns never go out of style at a UK movie premiere.

Lively walked the white "It Ends With Us" carpet in August 2024 wearing a Tamara Ralph couture gown. The strapless piece hugged her body, was covered in silver sequins, and was decorated with a beaded floral print that extended above the chest.

She also wore a vibrant red coat made with feathers, which added more color and another fun texture to her look.

The statement-making look was memorable and flashy.

The one-piece she sported at a 2023 fashion show appeared dated and needed some tweaks.

She attended the Michael Kors 2023 runway show wearing a tan catsuit from the designer. It had thin straps with a scooped neckline, all-over brown sequins, and flare pants.

The latter part of the garment was too long on Lively, with each pant leg gathering around her feet on the floor.

The garment's neutral color also blended too closely with Lively's skin and hair colors.

• Kasia Kovacs moved to Budapest from the States in her 20s and then to London five years ago.
• She was born to Hungarian and Polish parents in the US, but doesn't plan on moving back.
• Kovacs loves living in London regardless of the relatively high income tax and lower wages.

I'm the daughter of immigrants, born and raised in the US.

Seven years ago, I scrapped the American dream and moved back to the continent my parents left just before I was born.

I lived in Budapest for two years, improving my language skills and connecting with my family in Hungary and Poland. Then, in 2020, I moved to London.

Recently, several other Americans have had a similar idea.

Google searches for "dual citizenship," "expat," and "citizenship by ancestry" spiked the week after Donald Trump won the US election in November.

The UK Home Office released data in March showing that 6,100 US citizens applied for UK citizenship in 2024. 1,700 of the applications came in the last three months of the year, coinciding with Trump's reelection. This marked a significant jump from 2023 when fewer than 5,000 US citizens applied.

I've been in the UK for nearly five years — which means I can apply for British citizenship next year — and I've learned a lot about living as an American emigrant in that time.

Moving to the UK may not be the most financially savvy move

Wages are on average lower in the UK. In spring 2024, the median weekly salary in the US was $1,143, compared to $917 in the UK, according to data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics and Office for National Statistics, respectively.

My friends ask how I make a smaller salary stretch in the city. London can be expensive if you want to live alone in an fancy area, but it doesn't need to be.

My lifestyle choices keep my costs manageable. I share a flat and walk, or take the bus wherever I go. I've learned which local pubs have the most affordable pints and rarely go to fancy restaurants.

I work in the news industry, and I was lucky enough to find both full-time jobs I've had in London within a few months. Ultimately, I didn't find job hunting more difficult in the UK than in the US. But it helped that I have a right to work in the UK with the pre-settled status I got through my EU citizenship.

There's another big financial factor to consider in the UK: taxes

In the US, you could pay anywhere from 10 to 37% in federal income tax; however, these jumps are incremental. In comparison, income tax ranges from 20 to 45% in the UK and 40% taxation applies to annual income over £51,271, around $65,750.

As an American citizen, I need to pay US tax on my UK income during the years when I don't qualify for the foreign-earned income exclusion. The silver lining to paying double tax is that I don't have to calculate and file my taxes in the UK; they are filed automatically through my employer.

I'm OK with paying the higher income tax rate in the UK because I know a good chunk of my taxes go to a social safety net, including the National Health Service (NHS), education, and welfare services.

I don't want to imply that the UK is a utopia.

For instance, the UK conservative party's austerity measures have hollowed out the NHS, leading to overworked doctors and long wait times. The current Labour government announced significant cuts to the welfare budget in March.

But in my day-to-day life, I appreciate the things my taxes fund: public transportation so I don't need a car, sidewalks, lots of green spaces so movement is integrated into my daily life and public healthcare. I also worry about my safety much less than when I was in the US.

For me, all this makes living in the UK worth it.

My life feels more fun and fulfilling on this side of the Atlantic

People often ask me when I plan to return to the US, the answer is: I don't. I feel like I live a good life here.

I love London. I have a much better work-life balance than in the US, so I can immerse myself in the city's history, parks, and pub culture.

My favorite time of year is summer when the sun appears, and the whole city vibrates with excitement for the European or World Cup football games — soccer to Americans.

I'm also grateful for the ease of travel. I've eaten tapas in Madrid on Thanksgiving, watched the sunrise in the Alps, and lounged in an Italian villa in the summer.

I try to keep my travel costs low by typically booking a budget airline and staying in modest accommodation or with family and friends.

The UK is a worthy travel destination too. There's a comprehensive train system that makes traveling around the country easy, and I often explore walking trails.

These aren't the hikes I'm used to in the US, but there's something charming about a long muddy walk ending with ice cream by the Cornish sea or a hot meal in a Lake District pub.

The key to feeling like you belong abroad is building community

Having lived in three countries during my adult life, I've learned a somewhat unwelcome secret: You must put yourself out there to meet people in a new place, even if it's nerve-racking.

I found some of my closest friends by showing up to meetups solo. I joined the 'London New Girl' Facebook group, attended events through a women's group called New Circle Society, and organized a meetup for fans of the Who Weekly podcast.

Over the years, strangers I've met at those events have become my community. I've grown to believe that cultivating meaningful relationships is a factor of a life well lived. These connections are part of the reason I'm staying put.

My advice for people considering living abroad is don't just think of it as a fresh start but as an opportunity to integrate yourself into another culture and community.

Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like if I had stayed in the US. I miss my family and friends in America every day.

Truthfully, I feel more at home in the UK than I ever did in the US.

I feel lucky to make this choice — and anyone who can move abroad should acknowledge the value of that opportunity.

• I frequently travel from Los Angeles to Hong Kong to help care for my aging parents.
• I've made the trip five times in the last 12 months, leaving my own family behind.
• Caregiving across continents is challenging, but I'm happy that I'm able to help them.

Two days before Christmas, my brother called me in a panic. Our 86-year-old mother had suddenly become erratic and verbally abusive, and he needed help caring for her.

"Can you come?" he asked.

Listening to the weary tone in his voice, I knew I had to say yes.

Later that night, I was on a plane to Hong Kong, 7,200 miles from my home in Los Angeles. It was my fifth such trip in 12 months, crossing the Pacific to help care for my aging parents.

This last visit was especially challenging. I was leaving my children alone for the holidays, and I had purchased a one-way ticket, uncertain when I would return. I ended up staying for more than three months.

My trips home have become more frequent

In many respects, Hong Kong is my home. I was born there. My parents, originally from India, have lived there for decades. I moved to Los Angeles in 2000 after getting married.

For many years, I maintained only tenuous ties with my birthplace. Given the importance of the joint family tradition in our culture, my parents are fortunate to live with my brother, his wife, and their children. Like many parts of Southeast Asia, domestic help is relatively affordable, ensuring my parents are well cared for. Under those circumstances, I rarely returned in the years after I left.

But as they have aged, everything has changed. My brother and sister-in-law travel frequently and don't like to leave my parents without a family member despite their paid caregivers always being nearby. My other siblings have work commitments that prevent them from flying back and forth to lend a hand.

I am widowed. My sons are young adults, and I am not bound to a demanding job. So the responsibility in recent years has largely fallen on me.

I quickly started to leave my mark

A few days after I arrived in Hong Kong, I took my mother to a neurologist. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, which explained her aggressive and abrasive behavior. She was prescribed medication.

As a relative outsider, I was able to observe certain triggers and mitigate them. Dinner in our house had traditionally been served at 8:30 p.m., followed by some TV watching until at least 11, by which time my parents' nerves were often frayed.

I implemented a new schedule: dinner at 7:15 and lights out at 9:30. They argued at first but eventually relented. The difference was profound. Combined with effective medication, our home life was transformed.

But the process was difficult. My mother fell twice while I was there. My father, wheelchair-bound and nearly blind, struggled alongside her. Both have lost their hearing.

The activities that once brought them joy and united our family — long Sunday lunches at new restaurants, visits to relatives, and travel— are now beyond them. Their world has narrowed, and all they have is each other. Watching their decline is, for me, heartbreaking.

My family needs me, too

Meanwhile, my boys kept asking when I was coming home. In addition to missing the holidays with them, I also missed one son's birthday, college visits for the other, evacuations during the horrific fires in California, and the daily rhythm of our lives. The 15-hour time difference meant they would absentmindedly call me at 3 a.m. my time, not realizing I had been up for hours managing my parents' care.

I have already booked two more flights to Hong Kong in the coming months. As long as my parents are alive, I plan to return every few months, staying for weeks at a time. Caregiving for older parents is inherently challenging. Doing it across continents is infinitely more so. There is also the aching reality that the next time I go back, my mother may not recognize me.

Yet, despite the exhaustion and the sacrifices, I wouldn't have it any other way. When I was leaving Hong Kong to return to Los Angeles, my mother, despite her haze of confusion and forgetfulness, hugged me tightly, tears in her eyes, and said, "Thank you for everything." That was reward enough.

• Primark has a big presence in Europe, but it's now opening clothing stores in the US.
• The chain sells affordable items, putting it in competition with Old Navy and T.J. Maxx.
• I visited a Primark store in Virginia to see what it's like.

You've probably heard of T.J. Maxx or Forever 21 as places to buy cheap clothes.

But for US shoppers, Primark might not be a familiar name — yet.

The Ireland-based retailer has 460 stores globally, most in the UK and Europe. The company sells "affordable choices for everyone," according to its website. Owned by Associated British Foods, it has become as familiar a name in the UK for inexpensive clothing as Old Navy in the US.

It has also spent the past decade operating stores in the US, especially in the southern states, since opening its first American location in Boston.

Primark said that it had 29 stores in the US at the end of 2024 and plans to open more this year. Among them is an anticipated flagship store in Manhattan's Herald Square — not far from department store Macy's longtime home.

I wanted to see what shopping at Primark is like and whether it differentiates itself enough from other US stores that sell affordable clothing.

The concept makes sense — many shoppers have spent the last few years trying to save money and mitigate the effects of inflation on their budgets. However, several established retailers here in the US already cater to people trying to fill out their wardrobes at reasonable prices.

I went to a store in Virginia that Primark opened last year. Here's what I found:

I visited a Primark store in McLean, Virginia.

This store opened in July and is located in Tysons Corner Center, a major shopping mall in Northern Virginia.

Inside, there was much more than just clothing, such as luggage…

The selection of suitcases reminded me of the product selection you might find at a T.J. Maxx or Ross, even though those off-price retailers source their inventory differently.

…as well as cosmetics.

Many of the products appeared to be Primark's own brands, such as "PS." Shoppers have been buying store brands lately to save money after years of inflation and persistently high prices.

I entered Primark on the second floor and headed downstairs to look for shorts.

I bought some shorts at a Primark in the UK a couple of years ago and wanted to see whether I could find a similar pair here in the US.

Downstairs, I saw a wide range of clothes, from these Lionel Messi-themed items…

This display was an homage to Inter Miami, the soccer team that Messi plays for.

…to these Post Malone T-shirts.

These shirts were "on-trend must-haves," according to the sign above them.

For fans of American football, there were a few choices as well.

Apparently left over from this year's Super Bowl, these Kansas City Chiefs shirts were deeply discounted.

Simpler, non-branded clothing made up much of the selection at this Primark.

While I couldn't find the same pair of shorts from my UK trip, I did try on a pair of these $24 shorts that came with a belt.

There were also a few non-apparel items, such as these Primark-branded headphones.

It seems like Primark is trying to get into more than clothes with its store brands.

The signage at Primark emphasized the prices of most items, from these $5 tank tops for men…

The tank tops came in a variety of colors.

…to these shirts, which were on clearance.

I visited Primark in early April, when the retailer was running specials on many warmer clothes, such as these long-sleeve shirts and hoodies.

A few items at Primark were a little lackluster.

This very simple "New York City" hoodie would likely have been overlooked even at a souvenir shop in Times Square.

I appreciated Primark's variety of jeans.

Men's jeans were available in multiple colors and sizes. They were also clearly organized by cut, which made it easy to shop.

I picked out a few things to try on, including some shorts and two pairs of jeans.

The clothing prices at Primark varied a bit: Those shorts were $24 a pair with a belt, while one pair of jeans I tried on retailed for $12. Another pair of jeans was marked down to $10 from $20.

I headed to the fitting rooms to see how everything fit.

Two of the three items — the shorts and the discounted pair of jeans — fit well.

With a couple of purchases in hand, I headed for the checkouts.

Only the self-checkouts were open when I visited late on a Thursday morning.

Only a few of the self-checkout kiosks were open, though.

Most of the dozen or so kiosks at this Primark had "Closed" signs attached to their screens. It wasn't clear whether they had technical issues or if store management was worried about customers stealing things at self-checkout.

Checking out was easy once I found an open kiosk.

The kiosks only accepted card payments. While I later spotted an open checkout upstairs staffed by a person, it seemed like a tough environment if you wanted or needed to pay with cash.

This receipt scanner is something I haven't seen much of in the US.

To leave the checkout area, I had to scan my receipt. Once I did, a gate opened, letting me back into the store.

I remembered this scanner from the Primark I visited in the UK. Scanning your receipt at self-checkout seems more common in the UK than in the US, though a few American stores have adopted the tech.

I also wondered how effective this scanner and gate are at limiting or catching theft. The gate led me back onto the sales floor, not directly to a store exit, meaning someone could slip items they hadn't paid for into a bag from the checkout.

I headed back upstairs with my purchases.

I ended up buying a pair of shorts and a pair of jeans that were on clearance. In total, I spent about $36.

This Primark was located directly next to an Old Navy.

Given the similarities with Primark, I ducked in to see what this Old Navy store was like.

The stores seemed quite similar, though I liked the jean selection at Primark better.

The Old Navy store seemed to have a similar selection of things I typically buy, such as men's shorts and button-down shirts.

The selection of men's jeans at Old Navy wasn't quite as wide and organized as what I found at Primark, though. I also didn't see significant makeup and luggage selections like I did at Primark.

Overall, I'd definitely go back to Primark again, though I'll probably keep cross-shopping a lot for clothes.

It's usually easy to shop at just one or two stores for your weekly grocery haul.

But sticking to just one store for all your clothes can be more difficult. I've filled my wardrobe with stuff from Costco, J. Crew, Macy's, Target, and Zara, not to mention a few secondhand sources.

I liked the fit of the shorts and jeans I bought, so if they hold up well, I'll likely be back to Primark for more at some point. But affordable clothing is a competitive part of retail, and Primark will have to work hard to keep my attention.

• I spent the last year reframing my thoughts about aging, and now I'm excited about my 50th birthday.
• I've let go of my shame around chronic illness and have rethought my priorities.
• I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

I grew up alongside the internet, coming of age as LiveJournal, webcams, and Facebook shaped how we present ourselves to the world. Those early years taught me to curate my image carefully — to find the right angle, the best lighting, and the most polished version of myself to share.

But now, as I approach 50, my favorite photos are the messy, unplanned ones: my whole family crammed into a chaotic selfie or the portraits my daughter takes from an odd angle, in bad lighting, with no makeup or preparation. Just me, exactly as she sees me every day.

I can see myself as she does, relaxed and smiling. Not a ghost of the jittery 20-something terrified of double chins and belly rolls captured for online posterity.

Aging (especially for women) is often framed as a loss — of youth, relevance, and opportunity, but I don't feel like a loser.

I've spent my 40s doing deep work to heal trauma, learn to exist in my body again, and develop my purpose as a person, a parent, and a writer. I'm not done with that work, but I'm hitting a glorious groove. Instead of dreading my 50th birthday, I'm taking my 49th year to embrace it early, practicing how I want to show up at 50. This is not a crisis, it's a celebration.

I've spent time adjusting my mindset already

Midlife isn't a decline. It's the peak of mastery, clarity, and self-respect.

On my 49th birthday, I started reading texts on matriarchy and crone wisdom, collecting insights that have held me afloat in a sea of patriarchy this year. My study has reframed this life stage as one of authority and liberation.

For example, in the past, I have tentatively approached career opportunities, expecting to be dismissed as too green. At almost 50, there is nothing green about my professional life. My skills and ambition have aged into the toughest leather. I no longer feel the need to prove myself professionally; I've earned my place.

I'm shifting my mindset from career to vocation, focusing on what feels meaningful, not just what's expected. My career has included many roles — newspaper reporter, editor, academic librarian, freelance writer. My vocation, however, is to practice my core values: family, health, curiosity, creativity, and purpose.

I'm choosing radical acceptance of my body, health, and priorities

As a woman, it feels as though I'm expected to be at war with my body, whipping it into a prescribed image. Pass. I've already wasted decades fighting myself. Aging confidently is a natural extension of the body acceptance I've worked for in my 40s. Beauty standards haven't disappeared, but I no longer let them dictate my self-worth (most days).

I'm also letting go of shame and fear around chronic illness. I'm learning to work with my body, having spent the last two decades as a type 2 diabetic, ashamed and afraid of how my health will decline until I cease to exist. At almost 50, I've realized the wheels haven't come off yet, and there's a lot to be grateful for.

I used to be ashamed that I needed insulin injections to manage my blood sugar; recently, I started using an insulin pump. I had to overcome the fear of asking my doctor for this device, justifying the need to her, the insurance company, and myself. On the other side of that challenge, I'm grateful for the technology that takes some of the mental load off my plate and is much more effective at keeping my blood sugar in range.

I used to think exercise had to be punishing to "count." At 49, I've decided I don't have to plan the next six months around walking further and faster. Instead, I take a walk at the park and count the number of ducks I see.

I no longer look at the years I have left and think about running out of time to fix myself; instead, I think about running out of time to enjoy myself. I refuse to waste time on things that don't fit my values. Every endeavor must check at least one of these boxes: I look forward to doing it, enjoy it, or feel good after doing it. At almost 50, there's no time left for anything that doesn't hit one of those targets.

I'm choosing not to fear aging

"Taking better care of myself" has a new meaning. I take regular breaks to stretch and bounce on my mini-trampoline so I don't get stiff and grumpy. Meditation and journaling are given the same priority on my to-do list as invoicing and working on my book proposal. I care about how I feel as much as my productivity.

Rather than fearing the (amazing!) milestone of my 50th birthday, I'm using this year to lean into it early. I'm practicing saying "no" freely, celebrating my crone wisdom, and truly not giving so many effs. If 50 is a peak, why wait to embrace it?

• Erica Rivera is a career coach who formerly recruited for Google and Indeed.
• Rivera said that she's coached many employees who've been labeled as underperformers.
• She advises employees who've been labeled as underperformers to seek clarity as a first step.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Erica Rivera, a 37-year-old career coach now based in Barcelona. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Before becoming a career coach, I worked as a recruiter for Indeed for three years and Google for roughly another two.

I now work with people one-on-one to navigate career changes and transition into new roles. As a coach, I've helped those who have been labeled as underperformers, and it breaks my heart when I hear them talk about it.

First, there's the initial shock — Hey, I'm labeled as an underperformer? — and then I see how deeply they internalize that as their truth. The people I've talked with feel like they're broken, that there's something wrong with them because they're not seen as meeting expectations.

When this happens, I say, take a second to breathe. This label is just that, a label — and it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.

Many times, people who get that label are not underperforming; they're just caught up in unfortunate situations. Sometimes, new management comes in, or goals shift, and the employee isn't made aware.

I tell them, It doesn't define you. It doesn't define the rest of your career. Instead, it could be time to stop and evaluate your next steps. No matter the scenario or why you received this label, here are four steps to take if you're labeled an underperformer at work.

Seek clarity

Many times, if there isn't clarity about what is being asked of an employee or if they don't fully understand what their manager is looking for, it creates a gap — first in communication, then in performance.

Maybe there is a misunderstanding of what the goals are versus what the manager has been expecting. If that's the case, it's time to assess bridging the gap.

When having a conversation with your manager, ask: What am I being measured against? What does success look like in the next 60 to 90 days? Can you help me understand where I'm missing the mark? How does that align with the team's expectations and the greater organizational goals?

By getting clarity, you have something to measure your performance against.

Take action and document it

Once you have had that conversation with your manager and understand the expectations, it's time to take action and track your progress.

I tell people all the time, "You need to document, document, document," because you have to make sure that you're covering yourself in the work that you're doing.

This might include documenting any kudos you get, your metrics (which your manager should also be tracking), and any internal awards — anything that can show where you're delivering in your role and exceeding.

Check-in with your manager

You should be having weekly, or at least bi-weekly, one-on-ones with your manager. During these conversations, update your manager on your wins, your metrics, and key positive feedback you're receiving.

After your one-on-one, send them a follow-up email: Hey, just as a follow-up, here's my understanding from our conversation. Here are the wins, areas of opportunity, and what I'm focusing on this week.

Your manager might not read it, but at least you're documenting it, sending it out, and taking ownership.

In the end, be thorough in documenting and updating your manager to show that you are progressing toward the goals you have set.

Update your résumé and look elsewhere

Although you might be doing all that you can internally, make sure you're also updating your résumé and LinkedIn. Start tapping into your network and possibly just re-engaging with people that you haven't connected with in a while.

You could check in with your connections and say that you're interested in seeing what openings are available at their organizations.

When doing so, it's best not to bash your old company because, a lot of times, that can reflect poorly on you, and when looking for work, you'll want to keep it more neutral.

If you're asked why you're looking for new opportunities in an interview, you might say: There was a shift in the direction of the organization, and as a result, there was no longer alignment between the work that I was doing and the new priorities that were being implemented. I am looking for a long-term opportunity where I can grow with the next organization that I'm in.

Whatever you do, you don't want to call yourself out and label yourself as an underperformer.

If you're a recruiter with career tips you'd like to share, please contact this editor, Manseen Logan, at mlogan@businessinsider.com.