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The physics of ugly Christmas sweaters

'Tis the season for many holiday traditions, including the Ugly Christmas Sweaterβ€”you know, those 1950s-style heavy knits featuring some kind of cartoonish seasonal decoration, like snowflakes, Santa Claus, orβ€”in the case of Mark Darcy from Bridget Jones' Diary (2001)β€”Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. "It’s obnoxious and tacky, but also fuzzy and kind of wholesomeβ€”the fashion equivalent of a Hallmark Christmas movie (with a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek)," as CNN's Marianna Cerini recently observed.

Fashion (or lack thereof) aside, sweaters and other knitted fabric are also fascinating to physicists and mathematicians. Case in point: a recent paper published in the journal Physical Review Letters examining the complex mechanics behind the many resting shapes a good Jersey knit can form while at rest.

Knitted fabrics are part of a class of intertwined materialsβ€”which also includes birds' nests, surgical knots, knotted shoelaces, and even the degradation of paper fibers in ancient manuscripts. Knitted fabrics are technically a type of metamaterial: an engineered material that gets its properties not from the base materials but from their designed structures. The elasticity (aka, stretchiness) of knitted fabrics is an emergent property: the whole is more than the sum of its parts. How those components (strands of yarn) are arranged at an intermediate scale (the structure) determines the macro scale properties of the resulting fabric.

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I tried on similar sweaters from Banana Republic, Old Navy, and Gap. One store offered an unmatched shopping experience.

6 December 2024 at 10:18
A composite image of a man wearing three different black sweaters and taking a photo of himself using a phone.
I tried on similar sweaters at Banana Republic, Old Navy, and Gap.

Mike Vulpo

  • I tried on similar black sweaters at Banana Republic, Old Navy, and Gap.
  • I liked the style of the Gap sweater, and was even more impressed with the price.
  • Although the option from Banana Republic was expensive, I thought it offered the best overall value.

Whenever it's time to put up Christmas lights or adjust to daylight-saving time, I typically look through my drawers and discover I need more winter clothes.

This year, I made finding reliable and versatile sweaters a priority. So, I turned to three Gap Inc.-owned retailers β€” Banana Republic, Old Navy, and Gap β€” to find a black sweater that was both cozy and stylish.

Going into this trip, I knew the items at Banana Republic would likely be a splurge for my budget. I expected the clothes at Old Navy and Gap to be more in my price range, but I arrived at a Los Angeles-area mall, ready to open my wallet and purchase items I could wear for seasons to come.

However, I was quickly reminded that price isn't the only factor to consider when shopping for new clothes.

I started my shopping journey at Banana Republic.
The exterior of a Banana Republic store with the doors open.
Banana Republic has over 400 stores worldwide.

Mike Vulpo

I started my journey at Banana Republic, which has more than 400 stores worldwide and is known for its high-quality, expertly crafted collections.

I really enjoyed my experience here.
12 stacks of different-colored sweaters on a table, with a sign that reads, "Italian Merino Wool."
All of the sweaters at Banana Republic were perfectly folded.

Mike Vulpo

Immediately after entering the store, I spotted a table set with perfectly folded sweaters.

As I was browsing for my size, an employee checked on me and asked if I was finding everything I needed β€” a question I only received once during my mall visit.

Although I feared Banana Republic would have pushy and overwhelming sales associates, I felt relaxed and comfortable while scanning the store.

After grabbing an $80 sweater, which was on sale for 40% off, I headed for the dressing room.

I really liked the fit and feel of this sweater, made of Italian Merino wool.
Mike takes a photo of himself in a dressing-room mirror while wearing a black sweater.
I really liked the crew-neck sweater from Banana Republic.

Mike Vulpo

I instantly felt cozy wearing the classic crew-neck sweater, knitted from the company's signature all-season Italian Merino wool.

Although my usual medium size fit like a glove, a large also would've worked if I wanted a looser fit or to layer a shirt underneath.

I was quickly sold on the sweater, but I wanted to see what options were available at the other two stores.

Next, I visited Old Navy.
The exterior of an Old Navy store in a mall.
Old Navy has over 1,200 stores around the world.

Mike Vulpo

With less than an hour until the mall closed, I headed to one of the world's largest apparel brands β€” Old Navy.

The chain, which has over 1,200 stores worldwide, offers a range of clothing options for the whole family.

The shopping experience here was a little more chaotic than the one I'd had at Banana Republic.
Stacks of different-colored sweaters, cardigans, and pants on three shelves at Old Navy. The middle row has a sign that says "now 50% off," and the bottom row has one that says "now 40% off."
The sweaters were mixed between rows of pants and cardigans.

Mike Vulpo

Searching the store for a black sweater was a bit of a hunt, but I eventually found one row mixed in between pants and cardigans.

However, I appreciated the store's use of clothing-size stickers on its sweaters. As a result, I didn't have to pull out handfuls of clothing to see if my size was available.

I was also delighted to see Old Navy delivering on price. Normally sold for $35, the black sweater I grabbed was on sale for 50% off.

I wasn't a fan of the Old Navy option.
Mike takes a photo of himself in a dressing-room mirror while wearing a black sweater.
This sweater seemed like it would easily pick up dust and cat hair.

Mike Vulpo

Once I tried on the crew-neck sweater in the fitting room, I feared its 60% cotton and 40% polyester material would easily pick up things like dust and cat hair.

The sweater also felt tighter around my neck, making me question if I wanted β€” and needed β€” to size up. As of now, this sweater was headed back to the rack.

I ended my trip with a stop at Gap.
The exterior of a Gap store in a mall.
Gap has over 580 locations across the US and Asia.

Mike Vulpo

Last but not least, I rushed into Gap before the mall closed. The retailer, which has over 580 locations across the US and Asia, has always felt like a midway point between Banana Republic and Old Navy in terms of price and quality.

Of all the stores I visited, Gap had the least number of options available.
A stack of black, green, and navy-blue sweaters on a shelf.
Gap had less options than Banana Republic and Old Navy did.

Mike Vulpo

Upon entering the store, I discovered that Gap had the fewest number of sweaters available. With less than a handful to choose from in various colors, I was relieved they still had my size ready to try on in black.

I was also delighted to see that Gap was having a sale. The sweaters were marked down to $19 from their original price of $50.

The sweater from Gap was the most versatile I tried on.
Mike takes a photo of himself in a dressing-room mirror while wearing a black sweater.
The sweater from Gap was made of 100% cotton.

Mike Vulpo

Made of 100% cotton, this sweater was the longest of the three I tried on.

The textured style also made me feel like this was a more versatile option, allowing me to dress up for an evening event or keep things casual for an afternoon running around town.

Overall, I thought Banana Republic provided the best value.
A composite image of a man wearing three different black sweaters and taking a photo of himself using a phone.
I'll definitely return to Banana Republic again.

Mike Vulpo

Although I came close to purchasing the Gap sweater at the end of the night β€” it was technically the best savings by far β€” I ultimately loved my Banana Republic shopping experience the best.

The customer service, store presentation, and comfort of the sweater I tried on left me wanting to return as soon as possible. Plus, the price was reasonable for my budget β€” not triple digits like I feared going into the store.

I'll admit I would be satisfied with Gap's sweater, and Old Navy's option would also do the job. Sometimes, however, you have to fork over a few extra bucks and do what looks β€” and feels β€” right.

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