• We adopted a child in Oregon who had Costa Rican heritage that we wanted to be sure to celebrate.
• So, when she was 4, we moved to Costa Rica. We struggled and returned to the US after a few months.
• We learned ways to embrace her roots without having to leave the community we'd built in the US.

In 2008, my husband, Jonathan, and I adopted our daughter from Oregon's foster-care system when she was 18 months old.

The Department of Human Services mandated months of preliminary classes, many of which focused on how best to celebrate an adopted child's ethnicity. I took this directive very seriously.

Our kid's birth mother had been born in Costa Rica and adopted by a US couple two decades before she got pregnant and relinquished her infant to the state.

I knew enough about the emotional wounds adopted children can face to believe I should take drastic measures to try to mitigate any pain my own girl could experience.

When she was 4 years old, I had an even bigger idea for how we might be able to do so: We could move to Costa Rica. It would be an adventure, I thought, a perfect escape from the cold, rainy Northwest winters in our tiny Oregon cottage!

Call it a revelation or call it a midlife crisis, but my husband took a six-month leave of absence, I quit my job, and we found a short-term renter who would care for our cats until we found a new house to purchase.

In December 2011, we moved from the US to Playas del Coco with two backpacks and a bag of kids' science books.

We spent weeks trying to embrace the local culture and fall in love with our new home

For the first few weeks in Costa Rica, we spent our days at the beach or taking the public bus throughout the Pacific side of the country, searching for the ideal place to put down roots.

However, we hadn't prepared for Christmas. We'd spent past holidays at my mother's house in California, drinking eggnog and opening presents.

In an unfamiliar country, Jonathan and I wandered through the aisles of the local supermarket looking for last-minute small, portable gifts for our daughter.

We picked up a makeshift cardboard tree and tried to feel merry without our handmade stockings hanging over the fireplace and our 6-foot tree covered in ornaments rich with memories.

Our new condo was still empty and felt soulless, so we wandered out for some classic Christmas cheer. We found ourselves on the beach clutching cups of shaved ice in sweaty palms while red-faced children in suits and taffeta dresses sang and swayed on hot sands to "Let It Snow."

"I miss my friends," our small daughter whimpered. "I miss our cats."

I missed our pets and my own friends horribly, but we'd resolved to surround her with the people, music, and traditions of her birth mother's country.

Instead of commiserating, I suggested we head out for dinner.

We sat down to plates of gallo pinto — Costa Rica's ubiquitous rice-and-bean dish — and pan-fried plantains in a pastel-painted room full of empty tables and a neon-purple Christmas tree.

We hadn't met any other families yet, so we walked home alone, pointing out holiday light displays on our new neighbors' houses and trying to feel celebratory.

For another seven weeks, we traveled the country by bus and occasionally in a rented Jeep. We spent most of our time in Playa Samara, where we enrolled our daughter in a bilingual kindergarten.

We roamed the beautiful beaches, kayaked on rivers, and introduced our child to the animals, birds, trees, and insects of her birth mother's country. She met local kids of all ages and shopkeepers who pinched her cheeks and slipped her complimentary bags of fried plantains.

Still, our daughter was miserable. "I want to go home!" she said daily.

After 3 months in Costa Rica, we headed back to the US

Early in March, Jonathan turned to me, red-faced and sweating. "It's broiling by eight in the morning," he said. "Makes me almost miss winter in Oregon."

"I do miss winter in Oregon," I replied. "I miss the rain and the cold. I think I even miss the mud!"

We walked down to the beach, our daughter riding his shoulders, and crossed a rickety little bridge to a new restaurant we'd heard about.

Outside, we stopped and stared. Oregon Ducks flags — the green and yellow emblems in our college town back home — hung everywhere. The owner, we learned, had relocated from our part of the world.

As our child eyed the flags wistfully over yet another bowl of gallo pinto, I stared out at the dark ocean. This felt like a sign that Oregon was our perfect place, and my husband agreed.

By mid-month, we'd moved back to the US. We acknowledged our change of heart with chagrin, but our friends and neighbors welcomed us back with joy.

Now that we were home, I studied what other adoptive parents did to honor their children's culture — everything from special summer camps to weekly dinners, church services, and festivals. We set about creating a community of kids who looked like our daughter and began taking Spanish classes.

There were less extreme ways, I found, to celebrate our daughter's heritage and bolster her against the inevitable sorrow that can come with being adopted. We didn't need to relocate 4,000 miles away from all that she loved.

The next Christmas, Jonathan hung our stockings over the fireplace in a cottage that now struck me as charming, shaded by graceful firs and cedars.

We sewed catnip mice and tucked them into small stockings. We set up our big tree and excitedly hung the ornaments we'd been exchanging for years.

Then, I led my daughter into the kitchen where I got out the stepstool and the cast-iron pan. "Open this can of black beans," I told her. "We're going to learn to make gallo pinto."

• When I moved from New Zealand to the US, I didn't realize how much it would actually cost me.
• It's been hard for me to be away from family and to build a community in a new place.
• When I visit my home country, I often experience reverse culture shock.

I moved from New Zealand to California more than 12 years ago after I met and married an American.

Even though I've been in the US for a long time now, I still experience some of the same challenges I did when I first moved here. Plus, I never stopped feeling the pull of home and the family I left behind in New Zealand.

However, visiting home doesn't always bring the same comfort it once did, as it can be hard to readjust to a culture I haven't lived with for over a decade.

Sometimes, it feels like I have my heart in two countries, but I don't completely belong to either.

Here are some of the biggest challenges I've faced as an expat.

Figuring out how to navigate unfamiliar cultural norms has been difficult

When I first moved here, I discovered the US tends to have a much more cutthroat, competitive culture where people can be overlooked or dismissed if they're not prepared to speak loudly and clearly about their accomplishments.

Back in New Zealand, however, I was used to — and raised in — a culture that encourages people to act humble.

As Kiwis, we don't tend to talk up our accomplishments and we try to give credit to others (even if it rightly belongs to us) for fear of being seen as braggarts. Those who are seen as being "too big for their boots" are deliberately knocked down a peg — a phenomenon so popular in Australia and New Zealand that locals have a term for it: "tall poppy syndrome."

Though they may be small, these sorts of cultural differences can feel like a minefield to navigate and have made some social interactions a source of stress for me for many years.

Being far from family has been tough for me, both financially and emotionally

Although my husband is American, we live far from any family — his nearest relatives are four hours away.

It's been tough to raise our daughter without access to a village of family members.

I especially miss having a community at my 10-year-old daughter's soccer games, where I'm often surrounded by many multigenerational families cheering on their kids. I can't help but feel sad that she doesn't get to experience having a ready-made fan club on the sidelines because her family is so far away.

I'd love to visit our family overseas more often, but it's just not possible when flights between San Francisco and Auckland typically cost over $1,000 — even when booking months in advance.

We can only afford to visit New Zealand every two years or so, and I worry how the distance will impact my daughter's relationships with family over time.

My daughter has cousins in New Zealand and Australia ranging in age from 4 to 16. She's often asked me if we can move closer to them, and I feel bad we can't visit more often.

It's also tough for my family overseas to visit the US, in part due to the exchange rate. The New Zealand dollar is worth about 60 cents here, so a USD$1,000 plane ticket would cost them about NZD$1,790. My brother and sister-in-law even cut a planned trip to the US short because of how expensive it was for them.

These travel costs have also made it tough to navigate family emergencies over the past few years — especially when I got a call that my dad was in the ICU after a nasty fall last year.

Any flights home within the next two weeks would've cost well over $2,500 — way over my budget. Instead, I had to get updates from family over the phone and cheer him on from home as he recovered.

I don't feel completely at home in New Zealand anymore, either

Most of my family still lives in New Zealand, but time and distance naturally create a disconnect with everyday life in my home country.

I look forward to my visits back home, but over the past few years, I've experienced reverse culture shock, a phenomenon that can cause expats to feel like tourists in their country of birth.

It can manifest in relatively simple things, such as not understanding local pop-culture references or feeling removed from the everyday issues that concern my fellow Kiwis. Unfortunately, this has meant my old home can feel strikingly unfamiliar, and there's sometimes a disconnect when I visit.

I can cheer on the All Blacks rugby team, hunt down Kiwi-inspired meat pies, and enjoy the company of fellow expats. However, both my home country and my family are inevitably changing and growing — so I don't always feel a sense of belonging in either the US or New Zealand.

Still, I've done my best to adapt to a new culture and accept a new sense of "normal" about people, places, and routines. Despite the challenges, I feel like I'm in a good place in California, and the relationships I've slowly been building with those around me make life worthwhile.

My experience as an expat hasn't felt easy — but at the end of the day, I'm happy I took a chance on myself and followed my heart.

• After living in seven different countries, I've learned a few things that surprised me. 
• Prague was the hardest place to adjust to because of its cold temperatures and language.
• Texas' Dry Sundays, Europe's showers, and Wales' KFC menu surprised me the most.

Moving abroad can be exhausting, but I've done it multiple times, leaving my native island of St. Lucia for college in the US about 15 years ago. Since then, I've lived in places like Wales, the Czech Republic, Spain, Italy, and Greece. 

Traveling was daunting at first, especially coming from a country with a population of less than 200,000. But I loved immersing myself in new cultures, forming close friendships, and discovering new delicacies in every possible city.   

I felt knowledgeable about my destinations from my education, books, and television, but you never truly know a country until you've lived like a local.

Here are 11 things that surprised me during my travels.

Living in Spain can require a lot of paperwork 

There's always a lot of paperwork involved in traveling, but Spain is a different level of bureaucracy if you plan on living there for more than six months.

First, you must secure the Empadronamiento or "padrón," which is a document necessary to register with the town hall in the region of Spain you live in. This document adds your name and address to your city's census and is also necessary for administrative tasks like applying for a Social Security number, residency, public healthcare, opening a bank account, and getting married.

The process needs to be repeated if you move to another city and your residency must be canceled before leaving the country. Though the process seems simple, spots are often unavailable, so booking an appointment to do so can be very difficult.

The food scene is vast and varied in Prague

As a tourist in the Czech Republic, there are certain meals that you must try: beef steak tartare, Kulajda, Svíčková, and kolache.

Prague's international food scene is impressive, with restaurants representative of multiple cultures and palates. I was even able to find the ingredients to cook a local St. Lucian meal that included chicken backs and ripe plantains.

If you're not sure where to start or want to sample a variety, Manifesto Market features an eclectic mix of cuisines including authentic Hawaiian poké, rump steak tartare with shiitake mushrooms, traditional Mexican tacos, and Mediterranean dishes.

The bars are also stocked with Italian prosecco and a selection of craft beers. 

Italian food is actually as good as advertised

I had often been told that you haven't had real pizza or pasta until you go to Italy, and I can confirm that this is true. 

The best pizza I had was at a small, family-run joint in Crocetta del Montello, a tiny commune about an hour outside of Venice. It was simple, with some well-seasoned sauce and cheese on a crispy crust, but tasted amazing.

The same can be said for the gelato, which is velvety with intense fruit flavor.

I have also always loved spaghetti Bolognese, but enjoying the savory sauce in its native Bologna was unmatched. 

Some states participate in Dry Sundays

During the two years that I lived in Texas, I discovered Dry Sundays, during which liquor-store sales are prohibited on Sundays, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, and New Year's Day.

If Christmas or New Year's Day falls on a Sunday, the liquor store is closed the following Monday.

The law itself can be a bit complex, as beer sales on Sundays are permitted from 10 a.m. to midnight, and wine sales are regulated within special hours.

There are also different stipulations in place if you're attending a fair, festival, concert, or sporting event.

Other states like Kansas, Mississippi, and Tennessee participate in some variation of Dry Sunday as well.

Showering can be an extreme sport in some places

Showers in Europe can be small, making it difficult to move around. The half-door, which doesn't extend all the way across the tub, can also result in a very wet and messy floor.

The shower nozzle can be handheld, and once you figure it out, showering will be a breeze. However, washing your hair can be difficult, so be prepared to lay some towels out on the floor. 

Greece has a Caribbean vibe

As a native of one of the premier vacation and honeymoon spots in the world, if the water is cold or there are rocks in lieu of sand on the beach, I am not interested.

But as I drove along the coastline to Olympia, the blue sea and sunny sky were reminiscent of St. Lucia. Skafidia Beach made me feel at home and showed me that Greece is a fantastic option if you can't make it to the Caribbean. 

Some parts of Spain take siestas very seriously

In Prague, my Valencian roommate retreated to her bedroom every day around two o'clock for siesta, the Spanish tradition of taking a nap shortly after lunch. Our professors at a Barcelona university also scheduled classes during the morning to observe the ritual.

In my L'Hospitalet de Llobregat neighborhood, well outside of Barcelona's city center, the practice was going strong. Stores closed every day from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. and I even witnessed a shop owner ask a woman to leave so that he could close at two.

KFC and many other fast-food chains don't have the same menu around the world

Kentucky Fried Chicken struck gold when it opened in the Caribbean Islands, becoming the most popular fast-food restaurant across the region, beloved even by Barbados native Rihanna.

Besides the fried chicken, one of the most popular sides is the golden buttermilk biscuit. Or at least that's what I thought until I wandered into a KFC in Wales only to discover that they didn't have it. After some confusion from workers who thought I was trying to order a cookie, they offered me rice, which I never knew was an option.

Major food chains like McDonald's, Wendy's, and KFC offer location-specific menus to appeal to target audiences worldwide. This can range from a Samurai Burger in Asia to a Chee-Zee Marmite Stuffed Pizza Crust in New Zealand. 

People are friendlier than you might expect across the globe

Friendly faces are always a welcome sight and in Spain, Greece, and Italy, I found the locals to be patient and helpful even if I wasn't fluent in the language.

In the US, I met some of the warmest people when I lived in Detroit, Louisiana, and Texas.

In the UK, I initially thought people were a bit more reserved. However, when I had a problem with my visa, an amazing family in Wales helped me through it.

Though I thought Czechs, had a tough exterior, they also have a wonderful, dry sense of humor.

I learned to travel with an open mind and ignore the stereotypes — otherwise, you might miss out on connecting with some incredible people. 

Prague was the most difficult place to adjust to

With its Romanesque architecture, steep hills, and small rivers, Prague is one of the most gorgeous cities in Central Europe.

However, Prague is also a cold city, so I bundled up in layers — coming from the tropical Caribbean, this was a tough adjustment.

The Czech language was also difficult to learn, and unlike in Spain, where English was very prevalent in the city center, Czech was spoken virtually everywhere. Because Czech falls in the West Slavic language group, it didn't have the familiar structures shared by French, Spanish, and Italian, which made it hard for me to retain.

The Czech Republic is very dog-friendly

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Prague's pet owners proudly walking with their dogs and on the trams instead of strays roaming the streets.

The pets were also incredibly obedient and well-behaved at restaurants and on public transportation. This is the antithesis of St. Lucia's cultural norms, in which pets are not typically allowed in restaurants or public buses.  

This story was originally published on February 1, 2022, and most recently updated on January 8, 2025.

• I moved to Celina, Texas, in 2022 and absolutely love living in the city.
• I like the area's small-town feel and the sense of community among its residents.
• There are tons of local shops and restaurants, and there always seems to be an event downtown.

When I first moved to Celina, Texas, I was excited to live in an area filled with young families and business-minded people.

However, I didn't realize the up-and-coming town, which many residents call Rollertown, would top the Census Bureau's list of the fastest-growing US cities with at least 20,000 residents, based on its data recorded between 2022 and 2023.

Celina, which had just 6,000 residents in 2010, grew to over 43,300 people in 2023, according to recent Census data. The quaint town, pronounced "seh-line-ah," is about an hour north of Dallas and gives Texans a place to escape the hustle and bustle of the city and form lasting roots within the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.

Since relocating from nearby Frisco, Texas, in 2022, I've seen the city make significant investments in its expanding shopping centers and downtown area to accommodate its increasing population.

Here's why I love living in Celina.

I was drawn to Celina's small-town vibe

One of the things that drew me to Celina is that although the city is growing, it still has a small-town feel.

Popular chains like Costco, Lifetime Fitness, PetSmart, and many big-name food stores are opening just down the road from my apartment, but Celina also has a rich downtown area filled with local shops.

During the day, I love walking my dog and stopping at the library or Granny's Bakery, a local shop with delicious fresh-baked treats. Small boutiques give me the opportunity to find unique outfits without relying on big-box stores.

Celina is also full of great restaurants. I like to go to Heyday, a late-night hangout spot serving elevated cocktails with an upscale dinner menu and atmosphere. It's a great place to celebrate an accomplishment or catch up with my friends.

Celina offers a real sense of community

The downtown Celina Historic Square hosts community fairs, holiday events, and local markets. I love seeing the Square transform for events like the Friday Night Market, an opportunity for residents to purchase local produce and handcrafted items, or Cajun Fest, where attendees can feast on crawfish and watch live alligator shows.

Seeing children with face paint running around, watching friendly competitions, and having the chance to support local artists makes each event feel special.

Residents also show their commitment to the community as football fans decked out in Bobcat orange fill the stands at Celina High School on Friday nights. I attend the games to cheer on my younger sister as she takes the field with her flag during the halftime color-guard show.

I'm grateful to call Celina, Texas, my home

I have no regrets after moving to Celina, Texas, and I'm proud to call it my home.

The sense of community here is amazing — I felt like I belonged in town from day one.

The beautiful scenery and friendly faces make Celina an awesome spot to settle down, whether you're starting a family or just looking for a place to connect with others.

• I moved from the US to Spain, and instead of going home for the holidays, I went to Ireland.
• I didn't do a ton of planning, but I decided to limit my trip to West Cork and Dublin.
• I had such a great time and met lots of friendly fellow travelers along the way.

Last year, I moved from New Jersey to Spain.

As much as I love my family, being in the US stresses me out. Instead of flying home, I wanted to experience something new this holiday season that would hopefully be a salve to the constant political disappointment I've been feeling as a Black woman living in the country.

Although Barcelona (my current city) comes alive during December with Christmas markets, festive lights, and a wave of tourists, I was craving greenery, the tranquility of nature, and maybe a sprinkle of luxury (at least for a few days). I knew I'd find that in Ireland, which I've loved every time I've visited.

Less than a month before Christmas, I did some last-minute planning to make my dream trip a reality.

I set my sights on County Cork

I've been to Ireland a few times, and multiple people I've met abroad have encouraged me to visit West Cork.

The somewhat underrated foodie destination is covered in farmland and remnants of Ireland's once-abundant temperate rainforests.

My curiosity was fully piqued, so I booked an extended weekend at Liss Ard Estate in the town of Skibbereen.

The luxurious estate was a bit of a splurge for me — the cheapest suites start at 160 euros, or about $166, a night — but I considered it a Christmas gift to myself.

The county's natural views were straight out of a movie

I hoped to spend time in nature during my trip, but I wasn't expecting to see greenery similar to "Jurassic Park" in the winter Irish countryside.

I spent most of my time in West Cork wandering the Irish Sky Garden, which James Turrell created in the 1990s.

I didn't even know about the internationally renowned masterpiece of interactive natural art when I booked my stay, but it's safe to say I was forever changed by the beautiful installation.

The Sky Garden is basically just a giant concave oval. When standing inside it, the sounds of nature are amplified, and the sky turns into a massive portrait.

As I lay on the rock slab, staring at the sky and hearing blades of grass shuffle in the breeze, I was reminded how wonderful it is to just be present in the moment.

I returned to an old haunt for Christmas Day

I loved the solitude of West Cork, but I planned on spending Christmas Day in Dublin, more specifically, at Jacob's Inn.

I've stayed in this hostel every time I've visited Dublin. As an avid solo traveler, I rarely find accommodations that organically create the feeling of family among strangers, but this place does it for me every time.

Immediately after entering and putting my bags in storage, I met a travel buddy at the bar who mildly peer-pressured me into going to a reggaeton club (something I didn't even know existed in Dublin).

We had a blast.

There was plenty to do in the capital city

Although Dublin was crowded with a wave of holiday tourists and locals gathering with friends and family, I was still able to carve out dedicated time to rest, regroup, and explore the city at my own pace.

Two of my favorite adventures were finding The Little Pig Speakeasy and visiting the city's museums.

The four properties of the National Museum of Ireland and the National Gallery are all free to the public, so I took my time wandering through as many exhibits as I could.

The speakeasy was the most authentic-feeling one I've been to in years.

To enter, my hostel buddy and I had to find a pay phone, type three numbers, say a code that we got from a local store owner, enter a trick wall, and then follow the neon pig. The tasty cocktails were worth the effort we spent getting into the bar.

My trip ended up being the perfect way to spend Christmas

Other than talking to my mom on Christmas Day, everything about this holiday was new for me.

At times, it was a bit overwhelming. However, not knowing what each day would bring during a season that's usually steeped in tradition was also exciting.

Whether I return to Ireland in December 2025 or set off to another country, I'm excited to make solo travel my new holiday tradition.

• In 2020, my family of three moved from Florida to a small village in Central Portugal.
• The people we met in Portugal were very kind — and loved to stay up late.
• Overall, life in Portugal was more affordable for us.

In early 2020, my family of three was living in West Palm Beach, Florida, when we decided to take a six-month trip around Europe.

During our stay, we rented an Airbnb in Portugal on farmland near the city of Coimbra. We fell in love with the area and ended up extending our stay so many times that the owner asked if we'd like to buy the house.

We decided to make the purchase and lived in central Portugal for the next three years. Here are a few of the biggest differences we noticed after moving abroad.

For my family of 3, settling in Portugal was much cheaper than living in Florida

One of the main reasons we relocated to Portugal was the lower cost of living. Though there are always exceptions, the homes we saw in Portugal were considerably cheaper than those in Florida.

For example, a market summary from the Miami Association of Realtors said the median sale price of a home in Palm Beach County was $363,000 in January 2020. Meanwhile, in our Portuguese neighborhood, we saw houses listed for less than $250,000.

Essentials like medicine, groceries, and even road tolls were also incredibly affordable compared what we paid in the US. In Florida, our family of three spent about $150 on essentials each week, but in Portugal, we spent about $80 weekly.

In Portugal, my family of three could go out to eat for the equivalent of about $31. However, in the US, I don't believe we ever got away with a bill under $50 for a middle-of-the-road meal.

The strangers we met in Portugal were incredibly kind

When we first moved into our home in Portugal, our neighbors offered us freshly picked produce each week.

At the store, when other customers or staff members saw my husband and me with our small child, we were ushered to the front of whatever line we were in. By comparison, in Florida, people sometimes cut me in line if I became distracted by my child.

Though there are definitely kind strangers in the US, the people we met in Portugal were nicer than I expected, and it felt genuine.

Driving through Portugal feels like exploring a national park — an experience I didn't have in the US

If you've ever been to a national park in the US, you'll probably understand what I mean when I say this is how I think of most of Portugal.

From the majestic mountains to the abundance of unspoiled landscapes, you can travel for miles and see only wildlife before being jerked back into reality by another traveler on the road.

Nature trails, walking and bike paths, natural pools, and boardwalks seem to be endlessly woven through the country.

There are tons of beautiful places in the US, but where I lived in Florida, I didn't feel that natural beauty was as accessible or widespread as it was in Portugal.

Our Portuguese friends' schedules were much different from ours

We were surprised to learn that many of the Portuguese people we met liked to stay up late, even with their kids.

While spending time with friends in Lisbon, I learned many of them thought of 8 p.m. as the normal time to begin dinner. After eating, parents often sat, chatted, and had wine while children played alongside them, so small kids didn't get to bed until 9 p.m. or later.

Back in the US, my family usually ate dinner at about 6 p.m., and we always made sure to have our child in bed by 7:30 p.m.

• As a lawyer, I got the chance to live in both New York City and London.
• I found New York City to be full of life, but it was too expensive and party-focused.
• London was cheaper, and I could picture a future there.

For as long as I can remember, I've always had two cities in mind when I thought about the most bustling business hubs in the world: New York City and London.

In my mind, it never got any better than the Big Apple or the British capital. They were the cities to make it in the arts or the corporate world. From Broadway and the West End to Canary Wharf and Wall Street, I wanted to experience it all. My dream was to live in one of them at some point in life to try my luck as a corporate lawyer.

Hard work, perseverance, and a bit of luck gave me the opportunity to live in both of them. Both are chaotically enchanting, absurdly overpriced, and fast-paced, but if I had to pick one to live in today, it would be London. Here's why.

I couldn't picture my life long-term in New York City

I first lived in New York City — in the center of Manhattan, to be precise. I moved from Mexico City at the end of 2020 and stayed there for a year. Yes, it was in the middle of the pandemic. But my experience of the city wasn't affected negatively by that. On the contrary, I got to see an empty New York go from zero to 100 in a couple of months.

For better and for worse, the city was everything that I expected: dirty, cosmopolitan, full of concrete, and way too expensive.

But beyond the unrealistic price tags and tall skyscrapers, I also got to appreciate the city's unique attributes: its social aspect, iconic restaurants, unmatchable style, and colorful neighborhoods. The city is full of life. In every corner of every street, I could feel it.

However, those attributes that made it so desirable for a short stay were exactly what made New York City a clear "no" for my long-term plans. New York is ethereal and unapologetic. Yes, at the same time, life-changing. But I couldn't see myself partying and working 24/7 for the rest of my life.

Life in London seemed more manageable

I moved to London at the end of 2021 — after both Brexit and the pandemic. Both the city and I felt like we needed a fresh start. So, I decided to discover London from a comparative perspective. I analyzed every one of its major aspects against those of its American counterpart. The results were surprising as I found similarities between them where I thought there would be clear differences.

For starters, I knew that London was famous for its dreary and often gray weather, but when I moved there, I realized that it wasn't as bad as I thought — especially compared to the extreme heat or cold of New York City.

I also thought London would be more expensive. However, I found that rent and travel were much more affordable and diverse than in the Big Apple.

London suddenly (without even considering its majestic history and stunning beauty) became a place I could call home for a longer period of time. I saw it as a busy financial hub with more things than just work or parties. There were parks, museums, schools, recreational areas, and a sense of humanity.

London felt more mature and like home

On the one hand, New York City reminds me of my most toxic ex: the intensity, the beauty, and the danger. Just like with my ex, I knew it wouldn't last long, and that's what made it so special.

On the other hand, London reminds me of my most stable relationship: its pragmatism, its elegance, its maturity, and its sense of purpose. I felt like I could build my life there.

New York City should be your sole option if you are young and ambitious. But be sure to move to London when you want to grow old and have a family before it's too late. That's just what I did.

• My husband and I separated, and I moved into an apartment near our family home.
• We wanted to prioritize keeping things stable for our three children.
• I found that after a decade as the primary caregiver, having my own space was transformative.

When my ex-husband of 13 years and I decided to part ways, we worked together to create as much stability as possible for our three children. Ultimately, he remained in the family home — a house in his name that he alone financed — while I moved into a modest apartment just a 10-minute walk away. The decision wasn't easy, but we believed maintaining a consistent home base for the kids and striving to remain amicable could make the transition smoother for everyone.

My new space is an 800-square-foot apartment in a building constructed in the early 1800s, a stark contrast to the modern 2,600-square-foot home we shared with its pool and spacious yard. It's too small for the kids to live with me part time under our joint-custody agreement, but we make it work through individual sleepovers and creative scheduling. I continue as their primary caregiver during school breaks and after school, while their dad finally has the extended, quality time with them he's always desired.

Moving out just made the most sense for me

This decision has led to its share of interesting, difficult, and surprising changes — and plenty of raised eyebrows. I often find myself fielding questions, mostly from other mothers, about why I was the one to leave.

"Isn't it usually the dad who moves out?" they ask. And in many cases, yes, that's true. Social narratives still expect mothers, particularly primary caregivers like me, to stay in the family home. But for us, the arrangement we've chosen made the most sense.

Having my own space for the first time in more than a decade of caregiving has been nothing short of transformative. My youngest child is 3, and for 13 years, I've been the primary caregiver, working part time from home to accommodate the demands of raising three kids. This role has been all-consuming, leaving little space — physically, emotionally, or mentally — for myself.

Now, this apartment has become more than just a place to live — it's a sanctuary for rediscovery. It's where I can finally work in my own office, free from the clutter of chaotic family life. It's where I host friends for kid-free hours of connection and surround myself with flourishes entirely of my own design — the art, color, and idiosyncratic touches that reflect my personality.

Of course, I miss the old daily rhythms of life with my kids. But this has given their dad the opportunity to build the kind of relationship with them he's always wanted — deepening their bond in ways they've needed — while also giving me the time and space to reflect and reset. It's helped me reimagine what a more balanced life might look like for all of us.

The time I spend with them now feels more meaningful. I'm more able to be fully present and patient, and I've been rediscovering connections I hadn't realized slipped away in the relentless grind of daily parenting. It feels like coming up for air after being submerged in the undercurrent that often engulfs mothers caring for young children full time.

Not only has moving been good for the present but it's also made me excited about the future

The affordability of my new apartment allows me to save for a larger home where my children can have their own bedrooms in the future. For now, this small space feels like a gift, offering me the clarity to envision the life I want to build moving forward. I don't yet know exactly what that life will look like, but even through the haze of emotional upheaval and challenging transitions, I feel a spark of excitement at the prospect of discovering it. And when the time comes to move into that long-anticipated bigger space, I'll carry with me the understanding that this chapter was a vital stepping stone to getting there.

This journey hasn't been without its challenges, of course. Arrangements like ours demand a deep commitment to prioritizing the children and an emotional and mental maturity I wasn't sure we were capable of. There have been moments of overwhelming anger, fear, and worry — times when resentment, miscommunication, and conflict felt unavoidable. But as time passes and we witness how much happier our children are — something I attribute, in part, to having a happier mother — the more confident I am that this was the right decision.

The questions I receive about our decision reflect deeply ingrained cultural assumptions about parenting. Many still believe mothers are more likely to receive primary custody and stay in the family home, a legacy of outdated gender roles. Today, courts prioritize the child's best interests, often favoring shared custody. But the old narrative lingers, making it surprising to many that a mother might willingly leave the family home.

For me, moving out wasn't about stepping back as a mother; it was about reimagining a dynamic that works for everyone. While it's been an adjustment, this change has been liberating in ways I never expected. It's a reminder that unconventional choices often lead to profound growth.

• My husband and I lived in the DC metro area for nearly 20 years before we left.
• We grew up in Pennsylvania and moved to Pittsburgh so we could save for and buy a house.
• Although the DC metro area was great, we're happy being homeowners in the Pittsburgh suburbs.

Although we grew up in Pennsylvania, my husband and I spent nearly 20 years building our lives in the Washington, DC, area.

We loved it and thought we'd live there forever, but our plans changed when we got married in 2021 and started looking to buy our first home.

We soon realized we couldn't afford much in Rockville, Maryland, where we'd lived for eight years, or any other part of the DC metro area.

After pricing some homes, it dawned on us that we'd be about halfway to my hometown in Pittsburgh before we could even think about affording a decent house.

At that point, we thought, why not go back to our roots? So in 2022, after two decades in the DC area, we packed up our apartment and moved four hours north to Pittsburgh.

It was hard to save for a home when we lived in a high-cost-of-living area

Although we loved living in a big city with plenty of choices for everything from grocery stores to transportation to museums and theaters, we struggled to save for a down payment while living in the DC area.

After all, those perks — and walkability — came with a fairly high cost of living. DC is one of the most expensive cities to live in in the US. Rockville was no bargain, either, with the cost of living there estimated to be 37% higher than the national average, according to Paycale.

Even ordering food or going on a dinner date was pricey — we couldn't have a night out without spending at least $100.

On the other hand, Pittsburgh has long been considered one of the most affordable cities to live in and buy a home in.

When we left the DC area, we lived in an apartment in Pittsburgh for a year and a half and were actually able to save money while house hunting.

We also found way more houses within our budget here. According to Realtor.com, the median home price in Pittsburgh is about $259,000, compared to $619,000 in Rockville.

We're now in our first home in a Pittsburgh suburb, and we love it

Eventually, we found a ranch home in a cozy neighborhood about 20 minutes from downtown Pittsburgh.

Although there's not as much to do here as there was in Rockville, Pittsburgh has continued to win us over.

Our neighborhood is made up of a series of cul-de-sacs, and we were pleasantly surprised to see how close the neighbors on our street are.

We were welcomed with open arms and have enjoyed getting to know the friendly couples, sweet pets, and adorable children who live nearby.

Plus, it's been great to live closer to more family members and attend more birthday parties and holiday gatherings without having to travel far.

• My husband and I went from the US to Berlin for a work opportunity two years ago.
• Renting in Berlin was incredibly difficult, and the city would get a bit too packed with tourists.
• We moved south to Dresden and have been so happy with its greenery, architecture, and nightlife.

Two years ago, my husband and I (along with our two cats) made the big move from Massachusetts to Berlin for a work opportunity.

We were excited to live in a capital city for the first time, as we'd always resided in the suburbs around Boston. Although the German city was beautiful, we had a tough time living there.

In February, we left Berlin and moved about two hours south to Dresden. It's been one of the best decisions we've made since arriving in Germany.

Here are a few things that pushed out of Berlin, plus a few ways Dresden really won us over.

Rent in Berlin skyrocketed, and finding housing became incredibly competitive

Berlin is known to be fairly affordable, especially compared to other European capitals like Paris or Amsterdam.

Still, over the last few years, it's become one of the most expensive cities for renters in Germany as housing costs have gone up.

Many projects to build more housing have been placed on hold as renters struggle to find apartments — the German capital had a vacancy rate of less than 1% as of 2023.

We've had far better luck finding a place to live in Dresden, probably because it's not a major city. Rental prices have also been more affordable for us.

Dresden gets less crowded with tourists

Berlin is one of the most visited cities in Europe, attracting millions of visitors each year. While we lived there, popular areas like Alexanderplatz, Brandenburg Gate, and Museum Island appeared to be constantly bustling with tourists.

During peak travel seasons, this led to overcrowded trains, buses, and trams along with delays for regular commuters like us.

In comparison, Dresden draws millions fewer visitors a year. We still get some tourists (particularly for its famous Christmas markets) but at a smaller volume.

Plus, since we can now afford to live in the city center, we can walk to most places and avoid crowded public transit and traffic congestion.

Dresden offers us better access to nature — and its architecture is beautiful

As nature lovers, we appreciate the green spaces and large parks in Berlin, but they don't compare to what we have in Dresden.

More than half of our city is covered in green spaces and forests. We love the beautiful Elbe River, which goes right through Dresden.

Plus, we're only about an hour from the gorgeous Saxon Switzerland (Saxony) National Park — a trip there could take about three hours from Berlin.

We also have access to paved paths along the river for biking, plus many beautiful hiking trails.

The city holds its own when it comes to architectural ambiance, too. While Berlin has many impressive landmarks, Dresden is also renowned for its architecture and cultural monuments, like Zwinger Palace and the Saxon State Opera.

We especially enjoy walking through its Old City to admire the intricate and opulent buildings with lavish sculptures and terraced gardens.

Berlin has a famous nightlife scene, but Dresden's is a better fit for us

Berlin's nightlife is legendary and filled with variety, especially compared to what you might find in Dresden.

Its techno clubs like Berghain and Sisyphos draw in international crowds with their parties and long opening hours — some go entire weekends without closing.

We're not big club people, so we prefer Dresden's laid-back bars and slightly quieter nightlife scene. Our smaller city has fewer clubs, and many of the ones we have feel more intimate.

Overall, we're happy with our choice to move

Dresden has been more affordable than Berlin, and our access to nature and stunning architecture has blown us away.

It feels like home to us now, and we're happier living in such a beautiful city.

• American Kathleen O'Donnell said she felt at home the first time she visited Greece.
• She moved away from the US in 2019 before settling full-time in Greece in 2022.
• She likes Greece's food quality but doesn't like how car-centric the country can be.

Kathleen O'Donnell, 39, doesn't think she will ever move back to the US.

O'Donnell said she felt right at home when she visited Greece during an almost yearlong trip to Europe, Southeast Asia, and Australia in 2018 and 2019. After moving away from the US later on in 2019, she decided to be in Greece as much as she possibly could. She's been living in the country full time since applying for a digital nomad residence permit in May 2022.

"The longer that I live here, the happier I am, the more I love it, the more that I feel at home, and the more that I feel really sure that I found the perfect place for me to live right now," O'Donnell said.

She still loves visiting the US. Even though she's unsure if she will live in Greece for the rest of her life, she said it's unlikely she'll return permanently to the States.

"I just don't think that it has the quality of life that I could find in most other places these days," O'Donnell, who has been to around 30 countries, said. "The lack of sense of community is really what gets me. It's a very isolated society."

O'Donnell said she thinks it's an exciting time for people interested in moving to a different country because many places, like Brazil, Italy, and Thailand, offer digital nomad visas.

What O'Donnell likes and dislikes about Greece

O'Donnell said she likes the quality and affordability of food in Greece, including the produce at her local farmers market. She said the market can be noisy, but she enjoys getting the chance to become familiar with the people there.

"That sense of community is another pro," O'Donnell said. "Even in Athens, which is a very large city, it feels like a series of small villages. You really get to know people around you."

She said she had become friends with many of her neighbors since moving to her apartment earlier this year.

O'Donnell also thinks it's easy to travel elsewhere, given Athens International Airport, and enjoys the country's weather.

Meanwhile, she finds getting a residence permit takes a long time. She said it took around half a year for a two-year permit to be approved and another month to get it.

"The date of that permit starts when you apply, not when you get it," she said, adding. "and you can't go anywhere but your home country in that time and you can't even travel through most of Europe."

She's waiting for her renewal, which she thinks could take at least a year. "In the meantime, you're just very restricted about what you can do, and that's pretty frustrating," she said.

O'Donnell also plans to buy an apartment and has found that this is taking a while.

"It's just a simple one-bedroom apartment, and it will probably take a full two years to complete this very typical purchase, which is just wild," she said. "I've been trying to buy a place since December 2021."

She also thinks that while Athens is vibrant and lively, it's car-centric, and the sidewalks could be improved. She thinks getting around is tough because she doesn't have a vehicle and likes walking.

Despite the cons, she said she still loves Athens and Greece overall.

"I am so happy here," she said. "I just have such a great quality of life. It's very different from the US."

What has your moving or travel experience been like? Share with this reporter at [email protected].

• Moving abroad with kids can be challenging.
• BI spoke to parents about how they helped their kids navigate the move.
• Parents suggested telling kids about the move early and involving them in decision-making.

Moving abroad is never straightforward, and with kids in tow, it becomes even more complicated.

Additional factors come into play, from finding the right school and dealing with negative reactions to explaining cultural differences.

"The truth is that as meaningful and life-changing as moving abroad can be, it can be hard, no matter how experienced you feel," Stacy Ennis, who moved her family to Thailand and Portugal, previously wrote for Business Insider.

"When kids are involved, the chances of hardship are even higher," she added.

BI spoke to parents and relocation consultants who uprooted their lives in the US to move to different parts of the world.

Here are their best pieces of advice:

1. Start the conversation early

Genie Doi knew she wanted to leave the US with her family after a shooting near her son's school in Los Angeles. He was 5 years old at the time, and when she told him about the move, he was upset, she said. He worried about leaving his grandparents, friends, and toys behind.

"We tried to prepare him for a year just by talking about how exciting this change is going to be," said Doi, who moved in 2022. Before moving, they also visited his new school in Japan so he could familiarise himself with the environment and try to make some friends.

"It was a really smooth transition for him," said Doi.

2. Plan ahead for school

In 2016, Jackie Baxa relocated from Wyoming to Seville, Spain, with her husband and two sons, who were 9 and 13 at the time. Now, she is a relocation coach for families looking to do the same.

Baxa said that education is a factor that weighs heavily on parents' minds. Things to consider include the language in which classes are being taught and whether their kids have the capacity to pick up a second language.

"Do what you can to foster language development in a way that doesn't feel like you're adding more school to the child," said Baxa, whose sons chose to stay in Europe for college and are now fluent in Spanish.

3. Find a piece of home abroad

Besides packing sentimental items from home, Baxa suggested finding bridging activities to help your kids adapt abroad.

Knowing that her kids were big soccer fans, Baxa and her husband brought them to watch professional games. "We knew that that would be really special for them, and it was special for all of us," she said.

She added that capitalizing on what kids identify with and expanding them into new interests can also create psychological comfort.

"It could open up pathways to friendships and things that will make them feel better about what they've left behind," she said.

4. Involve your kids in the decision-making process

Anna Sosdian, an international relocation consultant at StartAbroad, suggested that parents involve their kids in decision-making.

"Make them feel like they have some control over some of the details," she said, whether that's letting them decide what to do on their first day or choosing which room they will have in the new home.

When Jennifer Kusch told her teenage sons that they were relocating to Dubai for her work, they told her she was "ruining" their lives, she told BI.

But they eventually warmed up to the idea. Kusch moved to Dubai six weeks early to settle into their new home. On trips to Ikea, she video-called her kids so they could choose their bedding and furniture.

"I tried to keep them as involved as possible," she said.

5. Your mood affects your kids

Celia Robbins, who moved to Berlin with her husband and four kids, said she tried to stay positive for her kids. "If you're not happy, it's hard for them to be happy," she said.

To help them better integrate, she and her husband networked and joined communities on Facebook.

They also sent their kids to German language classes and enrolled them in a German American school.

"We are trying hard to be ourselves while also appreciating the community and the culture that we're a part of," she said.

6. Encourage them to ask questions

Despite the stress of moving and potential resistance from their kids, these parents agreed on one thing: Go for it.

Learning to say goodbye to friends and being the new kid is hard, said Katie Miller, who moved from Texas to Dubai with her husband and three young kids earlier this year.

"But I'm watching each of them thrive because they've been stretched in new ways," she said.

She said parents should invite their kids to be curious about the moving process.

"We told the kids there are no silly questions. We are all learning together."

• I relocated from New York City to Florida to be closer to one of my favorite places, Disney World.
• I visit the parks at least three times a week and love spending time with my friends there.
• I'm still adjusting to the severe storms and dealing with a little homesickness.

As someone who lived in New York City for over 20 years, moving to Florida was a significant change.

I live about 15 minutes away from Disney World, and though I love visiting the parks, I definitely miss some things about NYC.

Here are a few of the best and worst parts of my move.

I can visit the Disney parks multiple times a week.

One great thing about living so close to Disney World is that I can go to the parks whenever I want, as long as reservations are available for annual passholders.

I usually visit three or four times a week because the parks bring me so much happiness.

I enjoy meeting the characters, so if I'm having a hard day and want to see Mickey Mouse or a princess, I don't have to commute very far.

I frequently get to spend time with my friends at the parks.

Most of the friends I made during my time in the Disney College Program in 2018 now live in Florida.

Since moving, I've met with them to watch the parades, visit characters, and eat snacks in the parks.

It's nice to go to the parks, enjoy each other's company, and not feel rushed during every experience.

I can easily try the new, creative snacks Disney rolls out.

The creative snacks are one of my favorite parts of visiting Disney World.

I love trying the different cupcakes, brownies, and Mickey crisped-rice treats that celebrate holidays like Halloween, Christmas, and Father's Day.

I often enjoy the Mickey ice-cream sandwiches and bars, especially when the heat is unbearable.

Most of the people I've met in Florida have been friendly.

I was born and raised in New York City, so I was taught not to make eye contact or say hello to most people when walking on the street.

One of the first things I noticed when I moved to Florida was how friendly many people were, especially the staff at Disney World.

Whenever I pass by people at my apartment complex or in the parks, a wave or a "hello" is often involved.

Though this initially felt strange, I've become more comfortable interacting with strangers.

I can see glimpses of Magic Kingdom's fireworks from my apartment.

I never thought I'd be able to see Magic Kingdom's fireworks from my apartment, but now I can.

Though I don't have a complete view of the shows, I see at least a couple of magical fireworks each night.

On the other hand, Florida has more intense storms than New York.

I thought I knew what heavy rain was like living in New York, but I didn't realize how extreme tropical storms and hurricanes could be until I moved to Florida.

Although New York has been hit directly by a handful of hurricanes in the past few years, Florida is the most hurricane-prone state in the US.

The storms in Florida can get pretty extreme. When I had to evacuate my apartment complex and ride out Hurricane Ian, my first big Florida storm, I chose to stay at Disney's Wilderness Lodge.

It was a frightening experience, but I thought the park employees did a great job ensuring guests were as comfortable as possible.

Still, I try to stay on top of extreme weather warnings and upcoming storms more than ever now that I'm in Florida.

The heat can be brutal, especially when waiting for outdoor attractions.

Florida is known for its high temperatures and strong sun rays, so I apply sunscreen much more often than I did in New York.

Many of the attractions and shows at the theme parks are outdoors, so if I forget my sunscreen, I get a harsh sunburn that lasts for several days.

The tap water doesn't taste as good as it did in NYC.

After living in New York for about 20 years, I grew accustomed to the taste of tap water.

Since I made drinking tap water a habit, I usually bring my reusable water bottles with me when I visit the theme parks.

However, I find that Florida's tap water doesn't taste as great.

I miss my family and often experience homesickness.

I moved to Florida with my sister but often miss my parents and family back in New York.

It's hard knowing I can't take a 40-minute train ride to see my parents on the weekends like I did in college.

It's nice when my parents do come to visit, though.

This story was originally published on January 16, 2024, and most recently updated on December 23, 2024.

• My girlfriend and I dated for a year and a half before we decided we wanted to live together.
• While thinking of where we wanted to live, we decided on Manchester, a city new to both of us.
• We found a two-bedroom apartment and we love exploring our new city together.

While dating, my girlfriend and I lived in different cities. We met on X — we started following each other back in 2021 and began speaking more frequently after she offered to give me some comments for an article I was writing the following year. Our first date was in January 2023, and we made things official in March.

For the first year and a half of our relationship, we had a gap of over 100 miles — seen as fairly long-distance in the UK, particularly if neither of you drives. The frequent trains and buses can be stressful and take up a lot of time.

We decided to end the long-distance chapter of our relationship

My girlfriend had been living in London for almost seven years, first as a student and then as a graduate, and she wanted something different. I'd lived in a few different cities and liked the idea of moving somewhere else for the longer term.

Her lease expired in August 2024, while mine was on a rolling monthly contract, so we explored the prospect of moving in together.

While London is a great city, it's very expensive; even though there are so many things to do, it's difficult to afford them. Other cities I've lived in, like Southampton, Cardiff, and Bath, are all great in their own ways, but there's often either not much going on, or they have less desirable transport links.

We settled on Manchester, still one of the UK's biggest cities but in the north of the country, which tends to be more affordable. So, there's still plenty to do, and we're also more likely to have the money to actually do it.

We found a great apartment and have settled in nicely

We looked at a few different apartments, and found a development in walkable distance to the city center for shops and amenities. Not living in London, we were able to get a two-bedroom apartment and use one as an office — I work from home full-time, while my girlfriend goes into the office once or twice a week.

The extra space has been a major benefit because it makes it so that we aren't always under each other's feet. And self-employed life can get lonely, so I like having my girlfriend here during the workday, even if we're both busy and aren't talking much during the day.

Moving to another city together means that you're both in the same boat and dealing with the same stress of moving — one isn't uprooting their life for the other. And when it comes to things like finding friends, we've been in the same position, and have hung out with people both as a couple and alone.

We love exploring our new city together

It's been exciting to explore the city together, too. While we'd both been to Manchester before, neither of us really knew our way around. Together, we've been able to explore a wide range of exciting bars, pubs, cafes, and restaurants, not needing to rely on one of us to act like a tour guide for the other.

An additional perk is the proximity to family. My girlfriend's parents live about an hour's drive away, so it's been nice for her to be closer to them after so long in London, while it's also easier to get to my family.

One of the first things we did when moving was adopt two cats. Moving somewhere new has meant that we aren't seeing friends as much as we might have before, but the added company of the cats has helped us adjust — and given us something to focus on together. Though going out in our new city is fun, the cats can make a quiet evening in so much more entertaining.

• I lived in Salem, Oregon growing up and thought it was so boring.
• After leaving for college and coming back to visit my parents, I realized it wasn't so uncool.
• Moving back to Oregon now feels impossible.

When I was 16 years old, I was convinced that the most boring place on Earth was Salem, Oregon.

As a grunge-punk teen growing up in the 90s, I thought Salem was everything that Seattle and Portland were not. It wasn't cool, edgy or exciting. It was a city of bureaucrats, where you could find dozens of spots to grab coffee or a sandwich, but not much in the way of night life. And anyway, underage fun was strictly forbidden. Forget sneaking into a bar; we couldn't even get into an R-rated movie. My friends and I spent our Friday nights at Denny's, drinking endless cups of coffee and dreaming about moving somewhere cool.

I had lived in Salem all my life, and although I'd traveled with my family to California, Hawaii and even Europe, I longed to experience something new. In Salem, I felt like a round peg in an extremely square hole.

College, I thought, was my chance to find a place where I fit in. I applied to several out-of-state schools and didn't look back once graduation rolled around.

My new life was about to begin.

I realized maybe it wasn't that uncool

Once it began, though, I had a rude awakening. I was all alone on the other side of the country — thousands of miles away from everything familiar. What had seemed thrilling was often just isolating, lonely, and scary.

As each semester passed by, I felt myself drifting further and further away from my family and friends. Many of them had left Salem, like me, but they were still close by, in Portland, Seattle, or Eugene. But as many people do, I met my husband in college, and we ended up settling in his hometown in upstate New York.

Thanks to the 2000s housing bubble, we were able to buy our first home when we were still in our 20s. A few years later, we had a child. We were putting down roots, but I still felt out of place. I struggled to make friends in our small town, feeling at times like the people I met just didn't "get" me. And in the years before remote work, my professional options were limited.

Each time I visited my parents, I couldn't help but notice how the city that had seemed so deeply uncool actually had a lot to offer. The coffee shops and restaurants that I had been so bored of now felt pleasant and familiar. My old friends welcomed me back with open arms. It felt so comfortable to slip back into the laid-back, casually funky atmosphere of the Pacific Northwest. Had I become a square peg after all? Or had Salem gotten just a little bit less square? Either way, it began to feel more and more like this was the place where I fit in after all.

Moving back is impossible now

As my parents have grown older, my longing for the Pacific Northwest has grown more acute, and more personal. I've longed to be closer to them during their retirement years, to spend time that is deeper and richer than short holiday visits.

But moving back to Oregon feels impossible. The skyrocketing housing prices on the West Coast have me sick with sticker shock. The average price of a house in Salem is nearly twice what my home is worth. The math just isn't mathing. Not to mention the fact that we are raising a child here, who loves her school, her friends, and the small town we call home — a place where she does fit in.

While I've tried to visit Oregon as often as possible, it doesn't always feel like enough. Once, when I brought my daughter to visit my mom and dad, she said, "Mama, I love it here in Oregon. I wish we could live here. But Dada and Grandma and Poppa are in New York. What are we going to do?"

I had no answer to give her. I've made my home in New York, but Oregon will always feel like home to me. Now, as my parents need even more care and support, I sometimes wish I had never left.

Emily F. Popek is a communications professional and writer living in upstate New York. She writes about the culture of parenting and education at thinkofthechildren.substack.com.

• I loved living and working in Belfast and took advantage of all the city had to offer for years.
• Eventually, I grew tired of the fast-paced, cramped feel of city living.
• I left the city to move to the quiet, coastal town of Bangor. I have more space, and I'm happier.

I moved to Belfast, one of Ireland's most bustling and famous cities, in 2010.

I was working my dream job with some of the greatest people in the industry on one of the biggest shows in the world, "Game of Thrones." Life was good and busy for years.

But after about a decade, the city's buzz started to fade, and I yearned for a slower pace of life.

Eventually, I found sanctuary by the sea in a quaint coastal town just 25 minutes from the outskirts of Belfast.

I loved city living for years until I got sick of the constant buzz

Belfast has everything you'd expect an Irish city to have — lots to do, tons of bars and restaurants, and super-friendly people.

I shopped in bespoke boutiques, ate at expensive restaurants, and drank in fancy cocktail bars while also attending parties and events.

Between my long days at work and social engagements, I rarely spent any time in my own home. Life was full-speed ahead, and I had little time for myself, family, or friends.

Although I was busy, I felt like I was living the dream and taking advantage of all Belfast had to offer. But after a few years, I felt like I'd maxed out on city living.

What had attracted me to Belfast started to push me away. Tired of the constant buzz of people, lights, and traffic, I began yearning for a slower pace of life.

In 2020, the coronavirus pandemic gave me the final push I needed to leave. For months, I found myself cooped up in my tiny city apartment with no outdoor space. Leaving my home wasn't much comfort since Belfast still felt as busy as ever to me.

As I walked past queues of people waiting 45 minutes just to buy groceries and local parks teeming with people, I felt my inner voice say, "If not now, when?"

I found sanctuary in an Irish seaside town

In 2021, I took the leap and abandoned city living to move to Bangor in County Down.

I had friends and family in the peaceful seaside town, plus I'd grown up next to a beach in Ireland — a part of me had always longed to return to the sanctuary of the sea.

When I drove up to my new house in Bangor, I felt a wave of tranquility wash over me. I didn't hit any traffic on the drive, something I rarely experienced in Belfast.

Going from a tiny apartment on a busy city street to a spacious home with luscious green trees, a garage, and a garden, felt like a dream come true.

Immediately, I embraced a slower pace of life. I installed a hot tub in my garden and started growing my own vegetables.

I wake up every morning to the sound of the Irish ocean lapping at the shore and visit the beach for daily walks so I can bask in the sea air.

I'm still grateful for my time in the city, but I feel much happier living in a town where my neighbors often stop to say hello and I don't have to struggle to find a parking space.

Plus, a 25-minute drive can still get me to Belfast if I ever crave a taste of the city.

I think anyone contemplating leaving a busy city for a quieter town nearby should give it a try, too. After all ... if not now, when?

• My husband and I left our stresses of living in Seattle behind by moving to the suburbs.
• The tech boom raised Seattle's cost of living, making it hard for us to afford a home in the city.
• Now we enjoy having a close-knit community — and easy access to the city.

Growing up in a small town, I always thought the city was where I belonged. I moved to Seattle for college and loved the energy, the culture, and the endless entertainment opportunities.

But after a few years of struggling with some realities of city living — constant traffic, astronomical rent, and the never-ending search for a parking spot — I started to feel burned out.

Although I enjoyed living in Seattle, I decided to move about an hour away to the suburbs of Washington.

Now, I have the best of both worlds: I'm close enough to enjoy the perks of the city but far enough to escape its headaches.

Seattle's tech boom has made it even more expensive to live there

Seattle's population has grown by about 20% in the past decade, in part thanks to companies like Amazon and Microsoft setting up headquarters in the area.

Unfortunately, the influx of high-paying tech jobs has also driven up the cost of living.

When I lived in Seattle, rental costs ate up a lot of my income — sometimes up to 50%. Plus, online rental marketplace Apartments.com suggests the average rent in Seattle is about 30% higher than the national average.

Since renting in Seattle was already expensive, buying a house in the city felt like a far-off dream for me and my husband.

One of the biggest advantages of moving an hour away from Seattle has been our ability to find nice places to live within our budget.

Once we left, we were able to buy a renovated single-family home on almost half an acre outside the city for about half the price something similar might have cost in Seattle.

I love dealing with less traffic — and finding parking is much easier now

The Seattle metro area has some of the worst congestion in the US — and the busy, crowded streets made living in the city stressful for me.

I regularly spent hours of my day creeping down the freeway at 5 mph.

Sometimes, I'd lose track of time circling the block to find a parking spot near my destination — and if I had to park in a garage or lot, I'd pay upward of $20 for just a couple of hours.

In my town east of the city, I can pull right into my driveway, and I never worry about finding a spot at the grocery store, which is only 10 minutes from my house during rush hour.

Life outside the city offered tranquility my younger self didn't know I'd need

My gripes with living in Seattle may seem small, but they've had a big impact on my life.

Now, we live on a quiet street where the towns of Covington and Maple Valley meet, and suburban life blends with nature. We have ample space for a garden and hiking and biking trails minutes away.

The sound of nonstop city traffic has been replaced by birds and the occasional neighbor mowing their lawn. When we take our dogs for a walk, we cross paths with more families and fellow dog walkers than cars.

Our close-knit community is a welcome change from the anonymity I often felt in Seattle. I like that we know our neighbors and often chat with each other, which felt tough to do in a big city.

Although we don't have as many restaurants and events in the burbs, I'm still close enough to Seattle to attend concerts and sporting events, visit museums, or meet up with friends for dinner and a show.

I miss the city sometimes, but I'm happy I've found what matters to me most at this stage of my life.

• I love many things about Florida, but after 11 years, I left to move back to the Midwest.
• My insurance costs in Florida were high and driving in our county felt dangerous and intense.
• I often let the state's many mosquitos, heat, and humidity deter me from going outside.

We first fell in love with Florida after visiting it on a family vacation in 1997.

After many more pleasant family vacations to the state, we left our hometown in Missouri and moved to Florida in early 2013.

We thought Jacksonville would be a good place to settle, as it was close to many Florida hot spots and great vacation cities in neighboring states.

It turns out, I'm much happier visiting Florida than living there full time. Here are a few things that led me to move back home to the Midwest after 11 years.

I didn't like driving in our county, and I often worried about my family's safety on the roads

Witnessing high-speed chases on the interstate, cars failing to yield, and trucks running red lights were part of our daily life in Jax.

Our county, in particular, has some of the deadliest roads in Florida.

I worried about my young daughter daily as she commuted to work on I-95. Although I trusted her as a driver, I was concerned about everyone else on the interstates and roads.

She'd often tell me about cars going well over the already high-speed limit and how drivers would regularly speed up instead of letting her over for her exit or lane merge.

A few months ago, she moved to a much smaller city in the Midwest, and I stopped worrying so much about her daily commute. I figure if she could manage in a place like Jax, she could drive anywhere.

Insurance felt like a huge part of my budget in Florida

No one likes to pay a monthly insurance premium, but the cost felt especially tough to stomach while I lived in Florida.

A MarketWatch analysis found that the average full-coverage car insurance cost in Florida was 42% higher than the national average.

The big kicker was finding out that I'd moved into a no-fault state. This means that no matter who's at fault in a collision, each driver has to rely on their own insurance to cover medical expenses and other financial losses.

Florida is also dealing with a home insurance crisis. Homeowners in many parts of the state struggle to keep up with sky-high premiums, especially after the recent hurricanes.

I'd often have to cut spending in other parts of my life just to cover my monthly high insurance costs. Now that I'm out of Florida, my monthly insurance expenses are lower, giving me breathing room to spend my money on more fun stuff.

I didn't love the high temperatures and humidity during the day

With sunlight beaming down most of the year, it's clear why Florida is known as the Sunshine State. During some summer months, Florida's average highs were above 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

I struggled to deal with the heat. Some may love it, but I found it could feel draining. With high humidity, the heat felt even worse. Jacksonville's average annual percentage of humidity can be a sweaty 72% or higher.

Unfortunately, the heat and humidity kept me from fully enjoying all the beautiful outdoor activities and attractions throughout Florida.

My naturally curly hair turned into a pile of frizz each time I stepped out of the front door — sometimes, I'd feel so self-conscious about it I'd just stay home.

Instead of participating in outdoor adventures throughout the area, I often chose to stay home in the air conditioning.

Lastly, I missed experiencing the variety of the seasons and the temperature drops that come with some of them. The Midwest's changing weather is a much better fit for me.

Mosquitoes were a huge nuisance to me at night

I also struggled to deal with mosquitoes when I lived in the Sunshine State. Although the pesky insects can be found in every state, Florida has more than most and over 80 species of them.

I seemed to be allergic to their bites, which would stay swollen on my body for days. Because of this, I didn't journey outside too much without first coating myself in bug repellent.

The repellent wasn't always super effective, so I eventually stopped going outside in the evenings to avoid getting bit.

Overall, I'm happier in the Midwest

I get why so many springbreakers and snowbirds are drawn to Florida. It has a lot of sunshine, natural beauty, and fun outdoor activities.

Still, for many reasons, I found it tough to fully enjoy the state and its beauty.

The Midwest is a better fit for me, and I'm glad I moved back. These days, I enjoy my slower-paced life in a state where I can feel the seasons change — and I no longer mind going outside so much.

• Since moving from DC to Denver two-and-a-half years ago, I've experienced many culture shocks.
• I've found people like to discuss their hobbies in Denver, but many focus on their careers in DC.
• I've also noticed that people in Denver seem more laid-back compared to those in DC.

When I boarded my flight from Washington, DC, to Denver in May 2022, I ruminated in my window seat for hours, wondering what my new home would be like.

I was leaving behind the nation's capital — the place where I'd spent almost three years launching my career and growing through my 20s.

Hopping from city to city wasn't new to me. I was born in Seattle and raised outside New Orleans before pursuing my master's degree in Phoenix.

However, every region has its own distinct culture, and I suspected the transition from the East Coast to the Rocky Mountains would be a little bumpy. Still, I didn't expect just how different the two parts of the country would be.

Here are a few of the biggest culture shocks I experienced when I headed west.

Many seem enamored with their hobbies in Denver, but careers typically come first in DC

Your choice of ski pass isn't just a question Denver residents will pose to you as an icebreaker. In my experience, it's a constant topic of conversation among friends and colleagues.

In fact, I've found that skiing, snowboarding, camping, hiking, rock climbing, and white-water rafting are topics that constantly come up in conversation.

I've met plenty of Denver residents with impressive careers, but their hearts often belong to their hobbies.

Meanwhile, many people I met in DC lived to work. I'd inevitably be asked what I did for a living at almost every house party I attended. Young professionals primarily move to DC for their education and careers, so networking is a way of life.

The city is packed with journalists, lobbyists, and government employees, so it's not uncommon to see someone toting a work laptop to happy hour.

The cities' definitions of style don't align

In DC, my favorite activity was ticking restaurants and bars off my list, taking in the cosmopolitan city in seasonal dresses and heels.

However, since moving to Denver, what's left of my collection of cocktail dresses is gathering dust on hangers. Here, athleisure, flannels, and denim are the norm.

The climates in Denver and DC are completely different beasts

I was adept at handling DC winters. When snow occasionally fell over the city, I bundled up in a coat and gloves to build snowmen on the National Mall or braced myself for the chill in the air when I exited a Metrorail subway station.

Preparing for my inaugural Colorado winter, however, was much more intense. I bought my first pair of snow boots at age 27, and learned that Halloween usually brings a snowstorm, and the flurries continue through April.

For context, according to the National Weather Service's data from 1882-2015, Denver averages about 57.1 inches of snow per season. DC's average snowfall, which is based on data from 1991-2020, is roughly 13.8 inches.

Local attitudes couldn't be more different

Colorado straddles two prominent regional personality traits — the Midwest's kindness and the West Coast's easygoingness. Residents of the Centennial State get the best of both worlds with their friendly attitudes and sense of ease.

Despite Denver's urban sprawl, niceties from its cow-town days persist. Walking down a neighborhood sidewalk, I can usually count on smiles or greetings from passersby.

However, while living on the East Coast, I found many DC residents exuded the region's no-nonsense air, buzzing from place to place as efficiently as possible.

I got used to avoiding small talk in elevators and found the standard attitude in DC was both a little guarded and direct. It's not that locals were unkind — they're just booked and busy.

Yet, both places have one thing in common: hometown pride. I'm excited to embrace that attitude in Denver like I did in DC.