• Sarah Burghard revisited her priorities after the death of her mom in 2023.
• The 56-year-old mom left her old life and moved to Indonesia.
• She leads a relaxed existence in a place with healthier, less expensive food.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sarah Burghard, 56, an interior designer from the UK who lives on the island of Lombok, Indonesia. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When my mother died in June 2023, I took some time out for reflection.

Suddenly, I was the oldest generation in the family and it got me thinking about where and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

I booked a flight to Indonesia, where I'd lived in the capital of Jakarta in the early 2000s with my then-husband and two sons. I spent a month processing my grief while soaking up the atmosphere on the island of Lombok.

I was struck by the warm smiles of the older local women. There was a joy in their faces. My mom had always been a positive person.

It made me realize how much age is respected on the island compared to where I'm from in the UK. I'd walk into a family-owned grocery store and the elderly matriarch or patriarch would be sitting at the counter, supervising whatever was going on. The younger people would ask — and listen to — their opinions.

I networked on Facebook to meet people

I returned home, feeling rejuvenated. It felt like every cell in my body had been refreshed through a combination of sunshine and relaxation.

I told myself that, if I could afford it, I'd try and visit Lombok once or twice a year. At 56, I wanted to ease into semi-retirement from my job as an interior designer, which I'd already been doing remotely since COVID.

Early last summer, I joined a Facebook group for people who lived in the small town where I'd vacationed. I asked if any expats or locals wanted to get in touch.

I was looking for social and business connections. To my delight, I heard from members including a real estate broker, a woman who ran a beach conservation group, and a bunch of yoga enthusiasts. I was excited to meet them during my follow-up trip to Lombok in August.

They'd already formed a vibrant community. There were meet-ups for activities like horse races when people would socialize and also talk about business and networking.

"What am I waiting for?" I asked myself. I decided to move to Lombok in October — as soon as my realtor found me a home. It's a two-bedroom villa, just an eight-minute walk from the beach.

The cost of living is cheap

Best of all, the rent was $2,500 a year. It was a no-brainer, considering my monthly mortgage in my home city of Bristol,was $1,260.

I moved as quickly as I could before the villa was snapped up by somebody else. I paid $250 for a visa that allows me to work from Lombok online and started consultations with my clients.

The cost of living here is incredibly low. You pay $6 for the same kind of massage that would cost $110 back home. I've paid close to $4 for a mango in a British supermarket. Here, they are 40 cents.

The weather is always around 85 degrees and I've embraced the great outdoors. I rent a scooter to get around for $180 a month and a full tank of gas costs just over $3. I realize that, along with many of the other expats who have settled in Lombok, I'm privileged to be in the position I am.

Some of my friends have told me I'm brave or inspiring for taking the chance of leaving the home that I've always known. But I don't view it that way. I'm embarking on a natural, next-step adventure in my golden years.

Do you have an interesting story to share with Business Insider about moving to a different country in later life? Please send details to this reporter at [email protected].

• I left the workforce years ago because I struggled to connect with baby boomers in the workplace.
• As a Gen Xer, I now work with millennials and love it.
• Millennial bosses understand that personal issues come up and work can't always come first.

In my early 40s, I did something revolutionary: I got a full-time job.

I'd been self-employed for over a decade, but the siren song of paid benefits was too strong to ignore. Within hours of starting in my new position, it became clear that I was an anomaly. I was one of only two members of my team over the age of 30, and there was an age gap of 10 to 18 years between me and my other seven coworkers.

Much to my relief, every member of that team was happy to teach me the ins and outs of the new job — including the loads of technology I needed to know. They didn't roll their eyes or make under-their-breath comments about old people and computers. They happily showed me the way.

As a Gen Xer, I have worked closely with millennials for over 15 years and with younger bosses for at least half that time. While they have been burdened with a lot of slander, I love working with millennials. They're collaborative and recognize that in helping their coworkers, they're helping achieve communal goals.

I struggled to work with older generations

I realize that no generation is a monolith, and it can be irresponsible to group people together. But we are all shaped by the events that transpire over our lifetimes, particularly those in the forefront during our formative years. So yeah, we have a lot in common with other people born around the same time.

I felt the rift between generations early on in my career. Honestly, it was the success-at-any-cost attitude of the baby boomers that pushed me out of the traditional workforce.

For example, I had one manager who couldn't understand why I didn't want to apply for a promotion. When I told him I needed all my bandwidth to be present for my children, he openly judged me, which affected my career trajectory.

I learned millennials are different

When they were young, millennials were often described as entitled. They were seen as doted on by hyper-involved parents.

But after working closely with them for years, I know that isn't the case. To me, it seems many millennials believe they can create lives they love.

Every younger boss I've had has encouraged me to stay home when I'm not feeling well, to prioritize my family, and to have fun at work. They recognize that my job is not my life but that while I'm in the building, I should be encouraged to do my best and enjoy myself as much as possible.

I once asked one of my favorite millennial bosses about filling out my timesheet. I'd had to miss work because my dog needed emergency vet care. I asked if I should call it a personal day or use vacation time.

"That was a sick day!" she said. "Anything that impacts your health or wellness counts as sick time."

She was the one who told me that volunteering at my children's school would benefit our team; we were working on creating volunteer opportunities for kids, after all. As far as she was concerned, whatever was going on in my life was relevant to work, and anything that interfered with work was a reason to take time off.

The workplace is about to shift again

It's about time we realize, as a culture, that young people are smart and savvy and have a lot to teach the rest of us.

It's funny to watch the rivalry between millennials and Gen Z play out via social media memes; each generation revels in being the young, cool disruptor and eventually has to reckon with being the old, staid boss who's responsible for keeping the machinery running.

This can lead to bitterness and resignation, or it can result in leaders who remember that life is supposed to be enjoyable and work is just work. I think the millennials are in the latter camp, and I'm happy to keep working for them until Gen Z becomes the boss of everything.

• Many Gen Xers are caring for both their children and parents, and it's hurting retirement savings.
• 56% of Gen X investors were financially supporting either their parents or their kids, Nationwide found.
• The financial burden of supporting two groups has some Gen Xers doubting if they'll retire at all.

Steve Mullen, 54, is being pulled three ways.

On the one hand, he and his wife are caregivers for each of their mothers, which has required them to pitch in up to 40 hours of caregiving a week and tens of thousands of dollars over the course of decades. On the other hand, they are still supporting their college-age son, who needs help with housing and $25,000 for tuition every year. All the while, he runs his own PR business, in which making more money is a "constant" concern.

At times, he said, the burden is extraordinary.

"It's incredibly stressful," he told Business Insider, adding that money was always a back-of-mind worry, despite being relatively financially stable. "I just pray we don't go into another one of these periods where my mother's in the hospital."

His situation is becoming increasingly common among Gen Xers — a generation sandwiched between their retiring parents and still-dependent children — and, more frequently, needing to support both groups at once. It is a dilemma that has put Gen X further behind in saving for retirement compared to other groups, financial planning experts told BI.

There are signs that the dual burden of needing to support kids and parents is becoming more common. A 2020 study from the AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving found that among Gen Xers who are taking care of a parent, around 50% also have a child under the age of 18. A study conducted by Nationwide showed that 56% are financially supporting either their parents or their kids.

Gen Xers in caretaking roles are more likely to show signs of financial strain. Of those who were taking care of a child or a parent, 21% said they had taken out significant amounts of debt, and 20% said they were unable to save for retirement, per the Nationwide study.

According to a separate survey of 35- to 60-year-olds conducted by Carewell, 75% of those taking care of both a parent and a child said they struggled to save for retirement, while 63% said they lived paycheck to paycheck.

Gen Xers speaking with BI said they doubted if they would ever retire, mostly because they were set back by financial obligations related to caregiving.

40% of Gen Xers also expect to work part-time after they retire, a Prudential Financial survey found.

Julie, a woman in her fifties based in Ohio, said she had spent over $100,000 taking care of her mother over the course of 15 years. She has less than $70,000 saved for retirement, well below what's recommended by financial advisors, who say you should have around six times your annual salary saved by the time you hit 50.

"I'm exhausted financially, and, frankly, I didn't consider growing up I'd be the financial rock of my family," she said.

The sandwiched generation

By some measures, Gen Xers are even more ill-prepared for retirement than baby boomers. According to surveys conducted by Prudential Financial, the median retirement savings for 55-year-olds is just under $48,000, with 18% having saved nothing at all as of last year.

Meanwhile, two-thirds of 55-year-olds said they were afraid of outliving their savings. That's the highest level among any age group of Prudential's 2024 survey, with 59% of 65-year-olds saying they worried they would outlive their savings.

Joe Wadford, a Bank of America economist, thinks Gen Xers are uniquely burdened by taking care of their parents and children at the same time, largely because more children are living at home than in previous generations.

Around 57% of men and 55% of women between the ages of 18 and 24 lived at home with their parents in 2022, according to US Census data published this year. That compares to 52% of men and 35% of women in that age range who were living with their parents in 1960.

Satayan Mahajan, the CEO of the financial advisory firm Datalign Advisory, said that caring for parents and children simultaneously was one reason his Gen X clients commonly cited for falling behind in preparing for retirement.

Market crashes during formative times in their career, such as during the early 2000s and the Great Financial Crisis, are another reason why many have less saved up.

"This sandwiched portion of Gen Xers are really in a lot of trouble. I mean, I have to say — and I don't want to sound so negative — but I think they're in a tough spot and they have a bunch of things that hit them pretty hard," Mahajan said.

And the outlook remains uncertain for Gen X. While boomers are estimated to pass on around $80 trillion in wealth, most of that money looks primed to head to millennials, not Gen X, Mahajan said.

"They're kind of in an awkward spot," he added. "And so there's a large swath of Gen Xers who may be in a bit of a lurch."

Uncertainty is also swirling around the availability of government retirement funds. Social Security could be depleted as soon as 2033, according to estimates from the Congressional Budget Office, when most Gen Xers are already retired or in their final decade of work.

Brandon Goldstein, a financial planner at Prudential, said many Gen Xers still have time to catch up on their retirement savings, though he believes many will have to work longer than may want to.

More older Americans are already deciding to postpone their retirement. 19% of adults 65 and over were still employed in 2023, according to a Pew Research analysis.

"For someone to be completely in a spot where they don't need to work again or they feel very comfortable, they're probably going to still have to work a little bit," Goldstein said.

• In 2018, at 46, Chris retired and left Chicago for Bangkok.
• He spent two years planning and saving for his move by investing in real estate.
• He enjoys the affordability of living in Bangkok and how easy it is to make friends.

As he soaked in the pool of his Airbnb in Bangkok, Chris wondered, "How can I make this my home permanently?"

It was 2016, and he had spent the past 25 years in the toy industry overseeing product development. His routine was the same: wake up, go to work, come home, play a video game, and sleep. At 44, retirement was weighing on his mind.

"There was nothing else I needed to really do," said Chris, now 52, who asked to be identified only by his first name to protect his privacy. "I mean, could I have worked longer to buy a cooler car? Maybe. Could I have bought a bigger house? Maybe. But nothing like that was really important to me."

At the same time, Chris knew he didn't want to retire in his home state of Illinois. He loved the city but couldn't stand the long and bitter winters. Most of his friends — unlike him — were married with kids. He wanted to challenge himself with a hard reset.

Chris had taken many business trips to Asia and started to love that part of the world. So, he mapped out a plan to save up, quit his job, and then live there full-time.

The first thing he did was tell no one

He didn't want to deal with negative reactions, he said. So, he kept his plan a secret for almost two years.

But behind the scenes, Chris worked feverishly to make his plan a reality.

First, he ramped up his real estate investments. Chris got more involved in the real estate market in 2014 after paying off the mortgage of his first home 17 years early. "When you pay off a house, it's the coolest feeling for a couple of weeks — you don't have a mortgage payment. And then you're like, what do I do?" he recalled.

He decided to invest in more property. By 2018, he had nine properties earning around the same amount as his full-time job.

He also visited Thailand eight times to ensure it was where he wanted to be. He had considered Hong Kong and Japan but eventually decided against them due to the higher cost of living.

"I wouldn't do touristy things. I would sometimes spend days just hanging out at the condo I was renting as if I already lived here," he said.

By September 2018, he had a six-figure safety net in the bank — in case he "didn't survive" and had hired a property manager to look after his properties. With a Thai Elite Visa — a long-term tourist visa that permitted his residency for the next five years, he left frosty Chicago for sunny Thailand.

The first six months were hard

Chris said he was used to being in a job where he had a team and worked on multiple projects.

"It was very strange to be fully retired and not have any responsibilities at a young age," he said. "I definitely, in the beginning, had some panic attacks where I'd wake up at 3 in the morning and be like, 'What did I just do?'" he recalled.

Things improved when he followed a friend's suggestion to explore a site for meeting people with the same interests. Through meetup.com, Chris was able to connect with other expats and make Thai friends. Playing pickleball was a great way to connect with new people, he said.

"Bangkok is such a massive city. It's so easy to walk up to almost anybody and say hello," he said. "I don't do it as much as I used to because I have a lot of friends now. I'm like, I can't handle more friends," he said with a laugh.

Living in Thailand is more affordable

Chris lives in an 882-square-foot two-bedroom apartment in Thonglor, a hip neighborhood in Bangkok with trendy bars and shopping centers. His rent is 62,000 Thai baht, or around $1,785 a month.

Before he left the US, he had set a budget of around $3,000 a month based on three factors: his age, lifestyle, and health. Describing his lifestyle as "semi-luxury," Chris said that he's increased his budget year after year to adjust to his changing circumstances. Now, his budget is at $3,800.

Still, it's almost half of what he spent in Chicago, which was over $6,000 a month.

Chicago is the most expensive place to live in the Midwest. Among 32 Midwestern cities, Chicago has the highest Cost of Living Index score, the Council for Community and Economic Research found last October.

"I get so shocked every time I go home once a year to visit my mom and see how it's gone up even more exponentially over the last couple of years," said Chris, who would spend a few weeks with his 82-year-old mom.

He recalled that his parents were more shocked about his early retirement than his move.

"I think this is important for people that move away from family," he said. "You can't think of it as how many years you have left with somebody. You have to think about it as how many visits you have left with that person."

Thailand is a popular retirement destination

Chris is not the only one who has found a retirement haven in Thailand.

According to the World Bank, the number of foreigners over 50 who received retirement visas to stay in Thailand doubled between 2013 and 2018 to nearly 80,000.

Retirees enjoy the country's slow pace of life and low cost of living.

John Walker, 73, moved from Australia to Chiang Mai, a province in northern Thailand, in 2019. He lives on an annual pension of around $18,000 and saves around 40% of his income. "People from all different countries come here," he told BI. "It's got a huge retirement community."

Similarly, Jeffrey Odgen, 75, decided to retire in Hua Hin, a beach town south of Bangkok. "The people here are very respectful. They respect their elders, whereas you don't get that in other European countries," said Odgen, who is originally from the UK.

For Chris, being able to live any type of lifestyle is his favorite part of living in the city.

"If you want to be a recluse and just hide in your condo all day and get everything delivered, you can do that. If you want to explore the city, the public transportation is amazing," he said. "There's a lot of great culture, and everything is just right at your fingertips."

Although he's been in the city for six years, Chris says it only feels like six minutes.

"It has been the fastest and the best six years of my life living here," said Chris, who has since extended his visa for 20 more years. "I absolutely want to stay as long as I possibly can."

Do you have a story about moving abroad to retire that you want to share? Get in touch with the reporter, Erin: [email protected].

• As many Americans struggle with a high cost of living, Gen X is in a particularly tight spot.
• Aged 44-59, the generation hasn't experienced millennials' wealth spike or baby boomers' pensions.
• Gen X has the highest income of all, but also the highest debt.

America's generational middle child is feeling the squeeze.

A growing subset of Gen Xers — who were born between 1965 and 1980, and are 44 to 59 years old — are struggling to pay their bills, picking up additional work, and cutting down spending on necessities, a new Philadelphia Fed survey shows.

That doesn't leave much space for discretionary spending, which could be adding to their lagging sentiment.

Meanwhile, the generations on either side are faring well. Millennials have seen a wealth boom in recent years driven by real estate and stock market returns, and baby boomers also have their pensions.

While Gen X saw their own gains from stock and real estate booms, they're also still stuck in an expensive middle-age phase, dealing with their own debts, preparing for retirement, and shouldering the burden of their children and parents.

Gen Xers have the highest income and highest debt as they navigate the 'sandwich' phase of life

Gen Xers are struggling with their personal finances across a variety of measures, a survey of around 5,000 respondents from the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia found.

As of October 2024, a quarter of Americans 46 to 55 were skipping some debts or monthly bills.

For some Gen Xers, that might mean skipping out on spending on some of life's more enjoyable things. Since the Philadelphia Fed's LIFE survey first began, the share of 46 to 55-year-olds cutting back on discretionary spending has grown. As of October 2024, over half of that surveyed age group said they were cutting back on discretionary spending.

"I rarely go out or buy new things or nice things. I usually shop for clothes secondhand, and the expenses that I'm really worried about — and they're just increasing — are my medical expenses," Wendy Graham, a Gen Xer in Philadelphia who works in the nonprofit sector, told BI.

Barbara Lose, a 57-year-old Gen Xer in Florida, said that she is struggling to pay rent; she lost her job over the summer.

"I just want to go through life and have a job where I can make enough money to go out to dinner and have a couple glasses of wine once a week. That's all I want out of life," Lose said. "I want to be able to pay my bills and take myself out to dinner once a week. I don't think that's asking too much, but apparently, it is these days."

Of course, cutting back on discretionary spending may not be all bad. As a Bank of America Institute research note finds, Gen X has seen its discretionary spending drop the most of all generations. The analysis attributes that, in part, to Gen Xers trying to sock away more for retirement and investing more.

Gen Xers do have the highest income of the generations, raking in a mean of $136,776 annually, the Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Expenditure Surveys found. They also have, on average, $157,556 in total debt — the highest among the generations.

"I'm still to this day paying off student loans," Graham said.

But as Bank of America notes, Gen X is in the "sandwich" phase of life: Some are juggling supporting adult children and elderly relatives. Their sandwich stage comes as more parents are also supporting their young adult children.

"I know a lot of people that are in this situation that are my age, they're really getting squished between having to take care of their children and having to take care of their parents," Graham said. That could be putting pressure on spending on necessities. Nearly a third of Americans ages 46 to 55 were cutting back on essential spending as of October 2024, the Philadelphia Fed's survey found.

"I had to have some dental care done last year. I owe about $800 for that," Graham said. "So there just isn't enough. There's not enough extra to go around, and healthcare costs are just continuing to increase. I don't see any relief from that in the future."

All of those factors taken together might explain another Gen X phenomenon: taking on more work. While 18- to 35-year-olds were still the most likely to say that they took on an additional job as a form of financial coping, the share of 46- to 55-year-olds doing the same has increased by a little over half since January 2023.

"We're still a very adaptable generation," Lose, who's on the hunt for work, said. "I still have a lot of great ideas and energy and willingness to work in this body of mine."

It's no wonder, then, that Gen X's vibes are not so great. Elder millennials' and Gen Xers' consumer sentiment is the lowest among the different age cohorts captured by the University of Michigan's consumer sentiment survey.

Are you a Gen Xer struggling to make ends meet or feeling forgotten? Contact this reporter at [email protected].