• I moved from Chicago to San Diego to be with my long-distance boyfriend, who's now my husband.
• Although my friends were jealous I was moving to a sunny "paradise," San Diego wasn't for me.
• I found the weather to be boring, and I didn't like how hard it was to get around without a car.

After living in Chicago for six years, I had a fulfilling career, great friends, and was involved in several organizations.

I would've happily stayed there forever, but my then-boyfriend (now husband) was in the Navy. We'd been in a long-distance relationship for seven years, and we wanted to be together.

In July 2023, I moved to where he was currently located: San Diego.

When I told my Midwest friends and colleagues about my move to California, some of their eyes would grow wide with envy.

Many of them — some who'd never been to San Diego — would tell me how lucky I was to move to a sunny "paradise" with so many beaches.

I would smile and nod, but I was actually very reluctant to move. Eventually, I learned firsthand why the sunny city wasn't the right home for me.

San Diego's sunny weather bored me

Although many of my Midwest friends envied the idea of year-round beach weather — especially during frigid winters — I wasn't a fan of it.

Having grown up in California, I actually took perverse delight in the adversity of Chicago's cold and snowy winters. I was amazed at how the city carried on, no matter the weather conditions.

I loved having white Christmases like in the movies I watched as a kid. I reveled in Chicago's changing seasons, dining outdoors in the spring and summer, bundling up in the winter, and watching the leaves change in the fall.

Meanwhile, San Diego's weather is almost always sunny and in the 60s. Eventually, I even removed the weather app from my phone's home screen because I felt there was no point in checking it anymore.

Although the sunshine was nice when I wanted to visit the beach or one of the area's great hiking trails, I grew bored by the lack of seasonal change and even missed the difficulties Midwestern winters can bring.

I missed needing to wear the sweaters my nana had knit to keep me warm in Chicago — and being able to comfortably visit the beach on Christmas just felt wrong to me.

I struggled to adjust to living in a car-centric city

Before moving, I'd visited my partner many times, so I knew just how car-centric San Diego is. However, I didn't have (or need) a car in Chicago and had no desire to purchase or own one.

Since San Diego is also a sunny beach town, I assumed cycling to get around would be popular, convenient, and easy enough. I soon discovered that was not the case.

Unfortunately, many of the city's neighborhoods and downtown areas didn't feel well connected for biking. I struggled to find bike lanes, and my map apps often directed me to cycle on roads that were basically highways.

Eventually, I began trying to run or walk to places instead, but that, too, proved challenging as I often encountered missing sidewalks or busy roads.

On the bright side, I was pleasantly surprised by San Diego's public transportation. To be fair, coming from Chicago — a big city with extensive bus and train options — I had very low expectations.

Although it was nice to be able to take public transit, it sometimes took me an hour or more and several connections to travel throughout San Diego.

Eventually, I accepted that San Diego and I just don't have compatible priorities when it comes to getting around. Living here reminded me how much I prefer walkable cities to car-centric ones.

Sometimes it was even hard to enjoy the beaches

Many of my Midwestern friends were jealous of just how many beautiful local beaches I'd have access to in San Diego.

Unfortunately, these beaches also drew in many tourists and visitors — and I didn't always know if I'd be able to fully enjoy them.

I moved to California just before the Fourth of July 2023, and I still remember my run around Mission Bay the day after the holiday weekend that brought me to tears.

Our nearby beaches were covered in abandoned pool floaties, broken camping chairs, and food bags that couldn't fit in overflowing trashcans. Rummaging seagulls further dispersed the garbage as I gagged on the stench of stale beer.

Hundreds of people had come into my new home, partied all night, left their trash, and now the beach had a serious hangover.

Unfortunately, this incident in 2023 wasn't the first (or last) time locals and volunteers were left to clean up messes partygoers left behind during holiday weekends.

It never got easier to watch my home being treated so poorly.

After a year in California, I was excited to leave

I lived in San Diego for almost exactly one year before we relocated to the Washington, DC, area.

I couldn't have been more excited about the prospect of living in a walkable city with changing seasons and ample public-transportation options once more.

Although I understand why many love San Diego, it just wasn't for me — and I've been happy spending my days in DC exploring museums instead of lounging on the beach.

• After much planning, I followed my boyfriend to Tucson and enrolled at the University of Arizona.
• He left shortly after, which meant I was alone and brokenhearted in a new, unfamiliar city.
• I stayed for years, got my degree, and learned to love the Southwest.

When I was 26, I moved to Arizona with the boyfriend I'd had since high school.

We spent a year planning the move since we'd be going 900 miles away from where we grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I wasn't so worried, though. We'd supported each other through major life events and made decisions together for the better part of a decade.

Together, we'd backpacked throughout the Pacific Northwest, driven from California to Maine and back in a Volkswagen bus, and camped under the stars in 35 national parks.

Although I had no connection to Arizona, my boyfriend's family wanted him to move there to care for his ailing grandmother in Tucson — and I would've followed him anywhere.

Plus, after attending community college in California, the University of Arizona seemed as good a place as any to finish my final two years of school.

So, off we went to live on his grandmother's sprawling desert homestead.

My boyfriend left Arizona before my classes even began

When we arrived, I got my Arizona driver's license and established myself as a resident to access a sizable in-state tuition discount.

However, just days before my classes began, my boyfriend told me he was moving back to the Bay.

I wanted to punch him, but really, I was mad at myself. I'd ignored a carnival's worth of red flags over the years — lying, cheating, stealing.

Now, here I was, alone for the first time in a decade, stuck in a new city with no friends, a truckload of self-pity, and a broken heart.

After he left, I spent those first few weeks of school miserable and lonely, with my eyes perpetually red and swollen from crying. I felt like I was being tested. How much did I really want to stay in school? Enough to navigate this parched, alien wasteland alone?

Still, I stayed. I was determined to be the first person in my family to graduate from college, and I'd do it before I turned 30, with or without a boyfriend.

Although I struggled at first, I fell in love with my new city and state

Having been raised in a bay-side town, I felt like a fish out of water in the Arizona desert. Everywhere I looked were signs I was far from home — stabby cacti, piggish javelinas, and pack rats that would build a nest in your engine block if your car sat too long.

Eventually, though, it got harder and harder to stay sad in one of America's sunniest cities.

I dived into my studies, joined the university writing center, and began tutoring kids in reading at a local elementary school.

I moved into a studio apartment two blocks from campus and had a fling with the political-science major who lived next door. Within a few weeks, I was riding my bike everywhere and spending hours swimming and studying at the massive campus pool.

My appreciation and fondness for the state grew as I learned about the Southwest's rich Indigenous history and culture and took road trips to nearby historic towns like Bisbee and Tombstone.

I started making friends, venturing out, and exploring the natural beauty of the Sonoran Desert. I camped on Mount Lemmon, hiked the Santa Catalina Mountains, and drove deep into the desert at night to see the stars.

Two and a half years later, I'd graduated with a bachelor's degree and fostered a genuine love for the Southwest. Although I later left Tucson to take my dream job in Seattle, I'm grateful for my experience.

I never imagined I'd grow so fond of Arizona, but it's where I found myself, accomplished my goal, and made lifelong friends.

This move taught me I can turn any challenging situation into something wonderful — and that even a Bay Area Aquarius like me can fall in love with a desert.