• My friend Emma and I met at work, and we instantly connected despite our differences.
• We're 17 years apart. I'm Gen X and she's a millennial.
• I've learned a lot from her over the years, and we work well together.

The first time I met Emma, we were in a high school cafeteria. It was my second year as an educational tech, and she had just joined our school district in the same role. Essentially, we served in support roles, helping teachers and students.

"This is Emma," my friend Cheryl, also an edtech, said. "She'll be working in one of the special education rooms."

What I didn't know at the time was that I had just met someone who would be so pivotal to my future. We were so different. Emma was 17 years younger than me. I was a 43-year-old mother of four who had been married for a long time. She was 25 and recently married. I was Gen X, and she was a millennial, closer in age to my eldest son than she was to me. I often made pop culture references that she was clueless about because the divide was so great.

"You could have been my babysitter," Emma would joke. "You could have been her mother," my aunt, who was a retired teacher, said when I told her about my new friend and coworker. There was no reason our friendship should have blossomed, but it did.

We became friends despite our differences

Each day, we navigated primary school together. We spent three years working at the neighborhood K-2 school. We were inseparable and often paired to deal with the most significant behavior issues. When we walked down the hall, people would comment about how opposite we were. Emma was 5'11" and I stood at just 5 feet. She watched Law & Order religiously and went to bed early. I stayed up late and watched anything scary. At times, Emma seemed more mature than I was.

At work, people were in awe of our easy and organic bond. We just fit. Our humor was similar too. Fits of hysterics often followed when we spent time together. Once we got going, it was hard to stop.

I watched Emma tackle pregnancy and motherhood. I saw her finish her degree and become a teacher. She helped me navigate issues in my marriage and was always there to listen. Her husband, who was a trained plumber, came to my house to do work. Emma offered support when I returned to school for my master's in education. For two years, we worked together with ease and comfort. People envied our natural banter and how similar our stance was on working with some of the most challenging students.

I moved to another school, but we ended up working together again

After I finished my degree, I moved to another school district. We stayed in touch, meeting for dinners with our old team from that neighborhood school. Though we were not able to meet up as often as we wanted to, we always fell right back into our comfortable routine with endless banter. I watched Emma transform into an amazing mother and teacher. She got a job in another neighborhood school in the district. I marveled as she tackled another advanced degree to further her teaching career.

This past summer, a position opened up in the school where Emma was teaching. Excited at the possibility of working with one of the best work friends I've ever had, I applied. I was almost placed in another position in the district, and then, luckily, at the last minute, I got the job I wanted. The first time I went to the school, as I stood in Emma's classroom, I sent her a text. It was an unbelievable moment that made me teary-eyed.

We work in classrooms across the hall from each other. The kids we teach watch us model teamwork and what that means. They understand that the two teachers they spend so much time with are also friends.

Emma has also become a mentor to me in many ways since she's been at the school longer than I have. Her scheduling skills are superior to mine, and her natural abilities as a leader shine through as we manage our fantastic team of edtechs. She has taught me so much, not just this year, but since I've met her. I'd like to hope she has learned something from me as well.

Emma will finish her master's in May, and I recently applied for my doctorate. We are proud of each other and thrilled that we finally get to teach together. Even with our age gap and generational differences, we have forged a lasting and solid friendship. I am grateful.

• Former director at PwC and British Airways Michael Doolin has 36 years of experience in HR.
• He said that being well-liked at work can impact performance and promotions, but isn't essential.
• Doolin shares how to tell if your peers like you, and why collegiate workplaces can help productivity.

This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Michael Doolin, CEO of Clover HR and former human resources director at PwC, British Airways, and DPD in Ireland. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Employees probably think about being liked at work more than they care to admit.

Subtle hints, like a boss inviting someone out to lunch or enquiring more about others than themselves, can generate stress, anxiety, or insecurity.

It's not necessary to be liked by your manager or your colleagues if you're doing your job right, but it certainly helps. It will make your life easier and more enjoyable.

Being liked and respected are different things. Signs that an employee is well-liked include people sharing their mistakes and successes with that person, whereas an employee is respected if they're asked to resolve issues, for advice, or share their thoughts on the future.

Being well-liked and respected can help employees get promoted, but gaining respect is more important.

However, not everything at work boils down to performance. Having a team with strong connections can significantly impact productivity and morale.

Camaraderie creates a work environment where workers feel comfortable sharing ideas, which can lead to greater innovation and problem-solving. Engaged, motivated, and effective employees are more likely to advance within the company.

These are some common signs that you're liked — and respected — at work.

You're being included

If you're being encouraged to participate in projects or being asked to undertake jobs, new assignments, or tasks on behalf of your manager, it's a subtle hint that you're liked and respected.

Equally, being asked to attend meetings and events, both social and professional, is a sign that people want you around and that your input is valued. When a manager asks a colleague for their opinion, it shows that their contribution is respected.

Asking thoughtful questions demonstrates a desire to add value and be included in discussions. Ask questions and be keen to learn, whether that's identifying shared interests or questioning internal processes to remove roadblocks and create opportunities.

You're a strong team player

Every manager likes an employee who makes them look good. You can do this by taking problems away and providing solutions or exceeding expectations.

If you go out of your way to facilitate constructive changes, your team members and boss should respect your drive.

Passing on recognition to others in your team, even if it's rightfully yours, can show a humble and generous attitude. Sharing information, working collaboratively, and contributing to formal and informal workplace meetings can cement an employee's position in a team.

Small things like making coffee and tea are seen as thoughtful gestures. They foster goodwill, showing you're willing to contribute to the group's comfort and camaraderie. It demonstrates that you're a team player and reflects a positive, approachable attitude, which is key to building strong workplace relationships.

Offering to make a drink or lending a hand with other simple tasks isn't just about the act itself — it's about cultivating an environment of mutual respect and consideration.

You're getting natural cues from your colleagues

Jokes and humor play an important role in helping to form bonds with colleagues. They give insight into someone's personality, separate from their professional self, and help colleagues make deeper connections.

Self-deprecation can be a powerful tool in breaking down barriers. That said, be confident in who you are. You don't need to pander to a stereotype to be liked. I've played on my Irishness in the past, but I use the pride and confidence I have from being Irish to help me form relationships.

Physical chemistry is an important cue as to whether you're liked. If your colleagues present good body language, such as smiling, laughing, making jokes, paying attention to what you're saying, and asking questions, these are all signs of being well-liked.

Getting this kind of support or encouragement from your colleagues is integral to a good workplace culture.

Strong relationships between colleagues boost efficiency and create a sense of camaraderie, making the workplace more enjoyable and less stressful.

The more connected employees feel to each other, the more engaged they are at work, which can lead to improved performance and greater job satisfaction.

Relationship-building skills are essential at work

One thing that COVID underlined in the workplace is that people are social animals. We want to be around others.

Social and relationship-building skills — meeting and greeting people or the small talk that underpins the start of effective relationships — are sometimes underappreciated. Still, they play a crucial role in the workplace. They enhance communication, build trust, facilitate conflict resolution, and support career development.