• Dotty Burgess was married to her husband for 77 years.
• Now 103, she shared her advice for a long-lasting, healthy relationship with Business Insider.
• It includes having things to look forward to and accommodating your partner's needs.

In 1944, a 23-year-old model wrote a letter to a pilot-in-training at his mother's request. He replied right away, and a few weeks later they were engaged.

Dotty Burgess, from San Jose and now 103, was married to her husband Frank Burgess for 77 "wonderful" years before he died in 2021. She now lives at Revel Nevada, a retirement community south of Las Vegas.

Burgess told Business Insider that her biggest advice for a long-lasting relationship is to choose your partner well.

She also shared some tips for maintaining a healthy relationship once you've found that person.

Know that issues won't last forever

"We realized how important it was to stay together throughout the storms, knowing nothing lasts forever," Burgess said.

This echoes advice psychologists have previously shared with BI. John Gottman, a psychologist who has studied relationships for 42 years, said people in successful relationships don't just let things go. Instead they "repair" their relationship after conflicts with gentle communication.

April Eldemire, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida, said that in a healthy relationship, partners work through issues as a team.

Know the things that annoy your partner and avoid them

Burgess said she and her husband knew to avoid doing things that made the other angry.

A 2019 study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that partners accommodate each other's needs more when they have a committed, securely attached relationship, feel valued by their partner, and maintain a strong sense of self.

If you do end up angry with your partner, BI previously reported on a five-second trick to help resolve conflicts in a relationship.

Always have something to look forward to

"No matter how big or small it is, always have something to look forward to that keeps the adrenaline and excitement in your life," Burgess said.

For her, that was taking a walk with her husband, or having an ice-cream cone with their granddaughter.

She and Frank also loved taking road trips together. "The most magnificent and beautiful thing I have ever seen was the rainforest in the state of Washington" on one of these road trips, she said.

Feeling excited to build a life together and enjoying spending time with your partner are signs of happiness in a relationship, Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University, previously told BI.

• A study found older couples living apart experienced more mental-health benefits than single people.
• A dating expert said older people tend to be more independent and set in their ways.
• Being open to living apart also widens the dating pool, particularly for older women, she said.

Moving in together is one of the biggest relationship milestones. How well you blend into one unit often precludes other big changes, including getting married or raising kids.

But for older couples, there's another appealing relationship setup: living apart, together — also known as LAT.

A new study found that couples living apart experienced more mental-health benefits than single people. The study examined data gathered on over 15,000 British people between 60 and 85 years old and found that while LAT relationships didn't confer more mental-health benefits than being married, people who exited LAT relationships had fewer negative mental-health consequences than couples who divorced or left a shared home.

Ury, the director of relationship science at Hinge and an on-air expert in Netflix's "The Later Daters," told Business Insider that she's been seeing this trend thrive.

"They're like, 'I have my house set up the way I want. You have your house set up the way you want,'" Ury said. "'Why don't we be in a long-term relationship, but we don't need to live together?'"

It's not just logistical. Ury said living apart, together has a ton of perks — particularly for older daters.

It widens your dating pool

If you're comfortable living in separate homes, it can broaden your dating options. You can manage differences in social lives or hobbies more easily by living independently than by trying to find someone who matches your lifestyle.

Ury said this is appealing to older daters. When you're younger and looking to start a family, "you want someone maybe with the same religion, the same lifestyle, the same education," she said.

But for older daters who aren't looking to raise kids together, ticking off all those boxes is often less important. Living apart allows each person to live in their own world — and that could be a boon for some relationships.

You don't have to compromise as much

LAT gives couples the opportunity to keep living how they want, with the benefit of romantic companionship.

The study's authors concluded older women would likely benefit the most from the arrangement. Women often take on more domestic labor in marriage or cohabitation, so they "may have more to gain than older men from LAT" by having more autonomy, they wrote.

Ury said it makes sense that older women are drawn to LAT. Her research shows older daters typically have a "stronger sense of self" than younger people. She added that older people have reported having more satisfying sex because they know their bodies better and are more capable of asking for what they want.

Knowing yourself also makes it harder to compromise, whether it comes to sharing a bedroom or eating the same meals. "People are stuck in their ways, Ury said. "They're less flexible and they have their ways of doing things."

Ury said younger couples are like startups that grow together, whereas couples are more like mergers. "Mergers are notoriously hard because each one has their own HR department, their own CEO," she said. "It can be hard to blend those things."

• Sally Froelich has aged remarkably well. She still golfs three times a week at 95.
• Froelich gave Business Insider some of her tips for staying healthy and happy.
• They include being sociable and doing exercise every day.

Sally Froelich has been talking about aging for a long time. Which makes sense — she's 95.

She credits that focus as part of the reason she has aged so well: she used to host a TV show where people spoke about reaching age milestones.

Froelich, a New Yorker, spoke to Business Insider to share the lifestyle habits she thinks have helped her reach 95.

Be sociable

"The most important part is sociability. Friends are so very important. You need someone that you can confide in, there's always somebody out there that'll listen to you," Froelich said. "And, if things go wrong, you got to make it right. Do unto others as you want them to do unto you."

Professor Rose Anne Kenny, a gerontologist at Trinity College Dublin, thinks that having good friendships is just as important as eating healthily and exercising for longevity.

In a 2023 study of over 450,000 adults in the UK, researchers found that being socially isolated was linked to a 77% higher risk of death in adults aged 37 to 73 over a 12-year follow-up period.

Froelich herself is part of a study — the SuperAger study of people over 95 from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, which looks for inherited factors that could help slow aging.

Do some exercise every day

Froelich started playing golf when she was 24 and now plays three times a week.

On days she's not playing golf, she's still active.

"I do 10 sit-ups. I do stretches. I lift eight pounds on each hand, and then bend over and lift five pounds on each leg, 20 times each. I walk in place very quickly," she said. "And I ride my bike, not as often as I should. But I do something almost every single day."

Experts agree that exercising regularly is one of the best things you can do for healthy aging, especially strength training.

Nathan K. LeBrasseur, director of the Robert and Arlene Kogod Center on Aging at Mayo Clinic, previously told BI that spending 3% of your day exercising, or 30 minutes, can have a "profound impact" on overall health.

Keep busy

"Not everybody can be very athletic, but hopefully, most people can do something to keep busy," Froelich said. "Help people out, do charity work."

She plays canasta and bridge, talks with friends on the phone, and volunteers. After she had cancer, she worked with the American Cancer Society for 38 years to run a Hope Lodge in New York City, where people stay while getting treatment.

She was until recently a board member for a Jewish home for older people, where she redecorated residents' rooms and threw parties for those turning 100.

A 2016 study published in Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience found that busy lifestyles were associated with better cognition in 330 participants aged 50 to 89.

• D'yan Forest is a working comedian at 90, doing gigs in two languages.
• She shared some of her tips for staying fit and funny into her 90s.
• These include having a positive outlook and spending time with younger friends.

It's never too late for a career change — even if you're almost 70.

After a 40-year-long career as a cabaret singer, D'yan Forest, who lives in New York City, became a comedian in 2001. Now 90, she holds the Guinness World Record for Oldest Female Comedian and still performs solo shows in English and French.

"I never thought I'd be a comedian at 90," she told Business Insider. "I make fun of myself and older ladies, and I sing parodies. I'm a little risqué, and the people love it because they can't believe that an older woman still has verve and fun and can say such risqué things."

Forest shared her longevity secrets for maintaining that verve into her 90s.

Keep your mind active

"Being funny keeps my mind working. I change my material every six months, so I'm always learning new things as the culture changes in France or America. What is amazing is that I'm getting better and better every time I perform," she said.

Doing comedy has also helped her look at life with a "fun slant," she said. "It's a mental outlook that keeps me going.

This chimes with what experts have previously told BI: Heidi Tissenbaum, a cancer biology professor who researches healthy lifespans, said that keeping the mind busy is one of the basics of longevity. The authors of a 2023 study on common traits of healthy centenarians recommended staying intellectually active and focusing on the good in life.

Exercise

Forest goes swimming every other day and plays golf three times a week.

"I go out for long weekends, and boy, after the third day, I'm exhausted," she said. "But that keeps me physically active. Not many women my age can walk the golf course like that."

A 2019 study by researchers at the National Cancer Institute found that adults who exercised consistently into later life had up to a 36% lower risk of dying from any cause over the 20-year follow-up period. The study also found that even starting to exercise in later life is beneficial for longevity.

Eat fresh whole foods

"I just eat pure food, raw vegetables and fruits. I don't like it when food is all artificial. My mother always said during the war, "Eat the fresh fish. Eat the fresh fruit." She wouldn't even cook 'em, just ate them," Forest said.

A 2023 study published in the journal Nutrients on 2,454 participants from China found that eating more fruit and vegetables lowered the risks of cognitive impairment in older age. A 2020 study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that US women over 60 who ate more fruit and vegetables were less likely to experience fatigue, poor strength, and illnesses.

Have (lots of) younger friends

Forest goes out for dinner with a different friend every day of the week.

Having a strong community is important for longevity. It may be more important than a healthy diet and regular exercise, said Professor Rose Anne Kenny, chair of medical gerontology at Trinity College Dublin.

"The problem is, when you're 90, that a lot of your friends and family die," Forest said. "And that's why the comedy is good because through that I've met a lot of younger friends who have the same interests that I do."

She's not alone — 102-year-old Janet Gibbs also credits her longevity to having younger friends as well.