Every time I go to Costco, I glance wonderingly at the enormous muffins from the bakery.

For years, I've yearned from afar, but I decided to try them all for the first time and rank them from worst to best.

I purchased and sampled them plain, at room temperature, and on the same day. Half were baked that morning, and the other half were from the day prior.

The first thing that struck me about these muffins was how incredibly heavy they were. Squat with a nearly ideal, almost equal top-to-bottom ratio, they felt remarkably dense.

Enticed by the generous, visible toppings, I dug in.

Editor's Note: Availability may vary as some of the muffin flavors are limited-edition or have been discontinued.

This muffin looked promising with a rich-brown base studded with large chunks of chocolate. 

There was no discernible aroma once I opened the package, but a closer sniff revealed the scent of basic chocolate cake, which intensified when I cut the muffin open. 

The center rise seemed slightly liquidy, which was likely a batch-specific problem since the blueberry muffins also made that day were even more undercooked.

I still appreciated that the chocolate chunks were embedded throughout the muffin and not just tossed on top for visual appeal. These pieces were great for taste and texture, adding moisture and dimension to the otherwise somewhat dry and flat-tasting chocolate base.

They also melted down nicely in each bite, like inverse frosting.

On its own, this muffin reminded me of a Dutch-cocoa cupcake, with a shy hint of chocolate that wouldn't quite commit. It wasn't rich like Devil's food cake, but also wasn't fudgy or moist.

Typically, poppy seeds are paired with lemon in muffins, but in this case, they're combined with a lusciously aromatic almond flavor.

It was the only muffin that had an immediately discernible scent as soon as I opened the package. It also had the highest tops of them all, with a firm, dry surface. 

Slicing through it sounded like cutting a slightly wet sponge, which was a bit off-putting, but eating this muffin continued to be a sensory experience.

The seeds pleasantly popped in my mouth, cracking between my teeth even after I ate the base. If you like to savor your sweets, this flavor is the one for you.

A hybrid between a heavy pound cake and a white-almond wedding cake, it felt plush and tasted slightly nutty and sugary, with a sweetness that ramped up as I ate it. 

This was definitely the easiest to eat in a large quantity since it was consistent from bite to bite, each of which was predictably good.

Some hybrid baked goods — like the double-chocolate muffin — lack an identity. But this flavor really went for it, tying together three delectable breakfast treats in one powerful package.

It had the shape and density of a muffin, the hit-you-over-the-head flavor of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and the texture of coffee cake, all topped with a crispy crumb streusel. 

This muffin didn't smell like much when I opened the container, so I didn't expect it to pack such a sugary wallop.

As I cut into it, I was greeted with a visual of ribbons of cinnamon layers, swirling like a galaxy.

Once I bit into the muffin, the crumb topping remained crisp, but the dense center melted into a moist, airy mouthful.

I was first hit with the cinnamon and sugar, and I loved that the toppings weren't excessive since the batter itself was a flavor bomb. It had an intense sweetness that settled and lingered. 

I adore blueberry muffins, so the mere sight of the plentiful, baked berries tumbling down the crests of these tops was enough to cause a Pavlovian reaction.

I tempered my excitement, though, because the surfaces looked dry, and unless I held them close to my face, these treats barely smelled like anything. However, I could feel through the knife that this muffin was outrageously moist.

Baked the same day as the double-chocolate muffins, this batch also felt a bit underdone — what I thought might be custard was likely batter. 

But this muffin was excellent enough that I still ranked it first. Despite the appearance of the outer crumb and the flaw in its technical execution, it went above and beyond in nearly every way.

It was really well-balanced since the taste was subtly sweet, and the texture was dense and heavy without feeling like a pound cake. Plus the dry-looking top was actually quite soft, and the bottom edges easily melted away.

The cascades of blueberries were everything I'd hoped they'd be — naturally sweet and juicy.

Pairing this muffin with milk or coffee would also nicely bring out the vanilla finish.

Between dry textures and disproportionate toppings, many commercial and supermarket muffins often fall flat, but Costco's suffered no such issues.

Tasting them was easy. Not a single one needed additional toppings or adjustments to shine.

Despite there only being four muffin flavors to rank, this taste test was an excellent example of good curation. You don't need to have a million varieties of something to excel in it — just a few exceptionally well-done options.

There was no worst flavor, and handing out the blue ribbon was a challenge since the options were diverse enough to make it subjective. 

So I can say with certainty that there isn't a wrong choice, and I can't wait to try the seasonal flavors.

This story was originally published on August 30, 2021, and most recently updated on November 20, 2024.