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I've planned girls' trips with my friend group for decades. Now, we bring our daughters to pass down the tradition.

Three women sitting on boat waving
I (not pictured) have enjoyed planning trips with my friends and our daughters.

CandyRetriever/Shutterstock

  • I've planned girls' trips with friends for years, but it's been harder to coordinate them over time.
  • We all have a lot going on, and many of us have kids who can be especially tough to plan around.
  • Our adults-only trips aren't going anywhere, but we now plan group trips with our daughters, too.

Since college, I've been fortunate to have a big, close-knit group of girlfriends โ€” and I've prioritized nurturing those friendships.

I especially love strengthening our bonds during getaways, and in my group, I handle planning and coordinating the girls' trips.

Since the '90s, I've spearheaded countless getaways for our group โ€” from raging college spring breaks (New Orleans) to bachelorette parties and divorce parties (both Vegas), to milestone birthdays (my 21st in NYC and 30th in Jamaica), to healing retreats after illness and loss.

These trips have been a great source of joy, laughter, healing, and countless memories โ€” one that sustains us through distance and life's tribulations.

I'm determined to keep up the girls' trip tradition, especially as life looks different for all of us.

There are more factors to consider now that we're adults with full lives

Group of women jumping in water in front of sunset
Many of us (not pictured) don't even live in the same city.

Dmitry Molchanov/Shutterstock

In our teens and early 20s, finding time and space for bonding was easy because many of us lived together and had few distractions.

As life has gone on, those opportunities for connection have become fewer and more difficult to coordinate. We no longer live under one roof, and many of us aren't even in the same city.

In our group, there are big jobs, spouses or partners, ailing and elderly parents, a wide range of disposable incomes, and home projects.

For many of us, there are also kids. This element, in particular, makes it harder for people to commit to dates and make a trip happen: There's homework to do, drop-off and pick-up schedules to coordinate, and sometimes no partner who can help.

It can be hard to prioritize time for yourself as a parent, let alone make time for a trip with friends.

A recent change of plans helped me approach girls' trips in a new way

My last girls' trip to Palm Springs was an impulsive overnight stay at an Airbnb oasis with a jewel box of a pool amid a historic heat wave.

My friend had intended to celebrate her anniversary with her husband and daughter there โ€” but when he got sick, she invited my daughter and I to join for a two-generation girls-only sleepover instead.

While we hung out, our daughters (ages 7 and 10) had fun among themselves. When we all came together, we did pedicures and facials, had cannonball contests, and shared a huge tray of nachos by the pool.

This arrangement was fun and rewarding, plus it eased some of the logistical burdens involved in coordinating childcare. It also helped me realize how nice it could be to incorporate our daughters into some of our trips.

Mom-daughter trips won't replace our old format entirely. Importantly, some friends in our group have no kids (and no interest in spending leisure time with them), and some have only sons.

Still, I'm hoping the two-generation girls' trip flourishes as one extension of a cherished tradition in our expanded circle as life goes on.

Most of all, I'm thrilled to expose the next generation to the soul-satisfying joy of girls' trips, a travel style that I believe nurtures friendships and supports sanity across all stages of life.

Read the original article on Business Insider

I hated feeling like I had nothing to wear, so I hired a personal stylist. I got a whole new look without buying anything new.

A composite image of a woman wearing one outfit made up of a sheer top with a black camisole, jeans with a denim belt tied in a bow, and black boots, and another outfit made up of a snake-skin dress, white blazer, and black boots.
After my appointment, I felt like I had more options than ever.

Alesandra Dubin

  • I hated feeling like I had nothing to wear, so I hired a personal stylist to help me shop my closet.
  • The stylist showed me how to reinvent some of my existing pieces to make them feel current.
  • Although I had fewer pieces in my closet, I felt like I had more options than ever.

As a longtime shopping enthusiast, I've pretty much always had a closet full of clothes.

Now that I've reached middle age, I've amassed some pretty nice things among my own racks. Over the years, I've scored some designer-consignment finds, collected a bunch of high-end samples through my job as a lifestyle journalist, and splurged on some higher-end pieces.

Somehow, though, I came up empty every time I opened my closet to get dressed for any particular occasion โ€” from my kids' sporting activities to lunch meetings and date nights. It always seemed that I was staring down a full closet full of absolutely nothing to wear.

For help, I reached out to Chellie Carlson, a stylist based in my own Los Angeles neighborhood, whose philosophy is all about helping regular people put together a wardrobe that lights them up.

Here's how my styling appointment went.

Carlson started by evaluating each piece of clothing I owned.
A woman stands in a bedroom holding up at a cream-colored blazer on a hanger, while some clothes sit on the bed and others are organized on a rolling rack.
She hung all of my clothing on a rack to evaluate each piece separately.

Alesandra Dubin

Carlson arrived at my house with an assistant and a portable rolling rack. They got to work pulling everything out of my closet by category โ€” tops, pants, dresses โ€” and hanging one group at a time on the rack to evaluate each.

Carlson said it's hard to analyze your own inventory when you're staring at the same hodgepodge you see every day. So, to see your clothing with fresh eyes, you have to bring each piece into the light separately.

She used his method to help me put together a capsule wardrobe using my own things.

Right away, she was able to identify the pieces I should donate.
A blonde woman holds up a magenta peplum top on a black hanger.
She suggested donating my peplum tops.

Alesandra Dubin

Right off the bat, she identified one factor keeping me from a successful wardrobe: I had a few viable tops, but too many unbecoming ones muddying my choices.

So, we chucked the peplums and cap sleeves, both unflattering styles, into the donation pile.

She gave me some tips on how to make my clothes look and fit better.
A woman kneels on a rug and cuts a cream-colored sweater with scissors.
Carlson cut off the bottom of a sweater that was too long on me.

Alesandra Dubin

Next, Carlson showed me how to reinvent some of my existing tops to make them feel current and tailored to my body โ€” no professional tailor (or big expense) required.

She showed me methods like cutting off the bottom of a too-long sweater with scissors and cinching the back of a T-shirt using a clear ponytail band to create a custom fit.

I finally parted with my skinny jeans and other dated pieces.
Alesandra wears a pair of flair jeans with a black belt and black boots.
I learned that the wider-cut pants in my existing wardrobe can look sleek and polished.

Alesandra Dubin

I'm a Xennial, and an affinity for skinny jeans is in my generation's DNA. So, I was holding onto a lot of them.

However, Carlson recommended donating my skinny pants and showed me how the wider-cut options in my existing wardrobe can look sleek and polished. She said that by pairing these pants with more fitted shirts, I'll get that same overall shapely silhouette I'd associated with skinny jeans.

In addition to my pants, it turns out my shoe collection was also standing between me and a chic and current capsule wardrobe. I love espadrilles for all my tropical travels, and I had a closet full of chunky wedges, platforms, and stilettos.

However, these aren't the most effective or modern options. For a more streamlined and on-trend look, she said I should lean into some of my kitten heels and flats and bump some of those stilettos into the giveaway pile.

Carlson helped me create new outfits using my existing clothes.
A snake-skin dress and white blazer hang on a rolling garment rack in a bedroom. There are a few loose items and black clothing items on the rack as well.
She showed me how to update the look of a slip dress by pairing it with an oversize blazer and cowboy boots.

Alesandra Dubin

Carlson helped me see that I had plenty of dresses โ€” so I can hold off on that category whenever I get the shopping bug.

She showed me how to update the look of a cute slip dress I had in my closet by pairing it with an oversize blazer and cowboy boots.

This approach also provided more body coverage, giving me the confidence to reach for the slinkier styles I already owned but didn't often muster the confidence to wear.

With a much emptier closet, my "new" capsule wardrobe took shape.
A composite image of a woman wearing one outfit made up of a sheer top with a black camisole, jeans with a denim belt tied in a bow, and black boots, and another outfit made up of a snake-skin dress, white blazer, and black boots.
After my appointment, I felt like I had more options than ever.

Alesandra Dubin

With far fewer pieces of clothing in my closet, my new wardrobe took shape. Suddenly I felt like I had more options, not less.

At a glance, I could now see everything that fit right and was a viable option amid a less-cluttered closet landscape. I also knew how to pair these remaining pieces together as a cohesive capsule that's right on trend.

It turns out that process of curation and guidance โ€” not more clothes โ€” was actually the piece my closet had been missing all along.

Read the original article on Business Insider

My sister and I have wildly different vacation styles. Dragging her family on my kind of trip was eye-opening.

Author Alesandra Dubin smiling with her sister on couch with view of ocean and resort in background
My sister and I often prefer different kinds of travel.

Alesandra Dubin,

  • Me and my family love high-end luxury travel but my sister and her family aren't used to it.
  • We went on a big group trip, and I chose to go to a luxury resort that was right up my alley.
  • My sister's family seemed bored and out of their comfort zones at times, but we all bonded.

I'm well known in my family for my love of high-end luxury travel.

Although I used to rough it in my earlier years, these days you'll rarely find me staying anywhere that's not at least on par with a Four Seasons.

My sister has the opposite inclinations: Her last trip involved building community centers in rural Mexico with my niece.

Still, we pushed to make a joint family vacation happen this summer. We hoped it'd help deepen the bond between our kids, who are five first cousins between the ages of 9 and 17.

She let me take the reins on the trip, so I gathered our families for a vacation to the ultra-luxurious Four Seasons at Cabo del Sol in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

The posh trip was a great bonding experience even though I don't think my sister and her family were fully sold on it.

The luxurious accommodations were great, and we didn't really leave the resort

Author Alesandra Dubin, and her sister smiling in front of resort entrance
We experienced a lot of luxury on our trip.

Alesandra Dubin

My branch of the family was thrilled as soon as we arrived at our resort.

We had no problem settling into our massive suite with a private pool overlooking the ocean and a walk-in closet as big as our kitchen at home.

It took my sister's family a lot more time to settle into their similar accommodations โ€” a far cry from when they'd slept under wool blankets on plywood platforms on their last trip to Mexico.

Together, we enjoyed the property's expansive pool โ€” the kind where you never have to fight for a chaise lounger and two varieties of resort-issued sunscreen are available on tap.

The five cousins (and us moms) spent hours in the game room, playing friendly competitions of billiards, ping-pong, and pinball.

Kids around a pool table playing
Our kids had fun playing in the game room during the trip.

Alesandra Dubin

Still, we didn't really leave the property or do much exploring. I didn't mind, but I could tell my sister and her family weren't as thrilled.

Since there were multiple restaurants at the resort, it was easiest to eat just about all of our meals there without leaving.

Although the resort had tons of kayaks, boogie boards, and snorkel equipment lined up on the beach, it wasn't feasible to take them out for a spin on the choppy coastline in the area.

The kids were disappointed that the sea felt like a bit of a tease โ€” a hint at the possibility of more adventurous days that weren't.

I didn't win over my sister, but the relaxing trip helped us bond

To me, the slow pace, convenience, and luxury make resort-style environments like these great options for a big family vacation.

But the truth is, I could tell my sister's family was a little bored. Her brood is more used to engaging in cultural deep dives or strenuous physical activities than sitting around being pampered.

Meanwhile, my kids grew up on this style of posh travel and eat it up, devouring it as a restful counterpart to the more vigorous trips we also do as a family.

In the end, I probably didn't win over my sister's branch of the family to my way of traveling like I secretly hoped I would. But the trip was still a great success because it allowed us to bond and connect as a family.

The resort provided a slower backdrop for simply being together. We didn't have to worry about running around to different places while juggling a packed itinerary.

And I suspect my sister's family will remember it this way too โ€” with a deep fondness for the memories it helped create โ€” even if they aren't likely to make a habit of this style of trip.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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