‘I was in a darker place than I’d ever been. ECT was my only hope’: how Ted Scheinman finally broke through his depression
By then, he was in “a much darker place” than he had ever been – and regarded himself as “the lowest piece of dirt on the Earth”.
Key points
- Jolt: My Electric Journey Out of Darkness charts his path from toddlerhood to the point in 2020, at the age of 35, when he referred himself for electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
- It was the day he went to the fair, aged three, and returned to his home in upstate New York clutching a Batman toy that he’d won.
- The treatment was “not so much a last resort … as my only hope”, he says.
But there was one thing he hadn’t tried … Ted Scheinman can date the origin of his depression with laser accuracy.
Water landed on Batman’s pristine boot in a darkening, enlarging spot that for young Scheinman triggered several rapid thoughts, the last of them being: “I am going to die.” Now 41, Scheinman, a senior editor at Smithsonian magazine, has written a memoir of his “life as a depressive”.
Additional details
- Troubled from the age of three, by 35 the American journalist viewed himself as ‘the lowest piece of dirt on the Earth’ – and neither therapy nor drugs seemed to help.
- Scheinman had a vivid imagination; in a few years, he would want to become a playwright.
- To add sound effects and drama, he turned on the tap.
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