I told women to stop chasing balance. Now I’m telling them to ask for help
Four years ago, I wrote an article urging women to stop asking about work-life balance.
Key points
- She replied honestly, “I have two nannies and lots of help.” Later she was scolded by the conference organizers, “shhh don’t tell the truth!
- It shows up as inflammation, hypertension, and disease, and it’s quietly accruing in women who are praised for how much they can carry.
- These words capture the week before, when I was 38 weeks pregnant, and the question that kept me awake still feels urgent now.
My work as an investor in healthcare companies serving women makes it impossible to ignore: the mental load is exhausting, and it’s measurably hurting women’s health.
Please your spouse, take care of your kids, crush it at work, don’t ask for help.
Additional details
- Now AI promises to make us faster, which somehow just means we’re expected to produce more, around the clock, forever.
- Mothers carry 71% of the household’s mental load, the invisible work of remembering, planning, anticipating, despite the fact that fathers are more involved than at any point in modern history.
- Nearly half of working women say their job has damaged their mental health in just the past six months.
- Women spend 25% more of their lives in poor health than men, roughly nine years each.
- Less than 9% of NIH research dollars over the last decade went to women’s health.
How this summary was made: extractive summary — built from the sources' own reporting. It is drawn only from the reporting of the sources listed below — read the originals for full detail. How we summarize →
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