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I decluttered my house, but didn't find true peace until I decluttered my digital life, too

17 December 2024 at 02:24
A woman looks at hr mobile phone while at her desk.
The author, not pictured, found that decluttering her digital life helped her focus more.

Drazen_/Getty Images

  • When the world followed the advice of Marie Kondo and decluttered, I did too.
  • I soon discovered my digital life needed to be decluttered just as much as my house once did.
  • A weekly routine helps me manage digital clutter so it doesn't become overwhelming.

Like most people, I have too much stuff. But it's not just physical stuff; the amount of digital clutter I amass is nothing short of spectacular. Between bookmarking apps, "watch later" lists, and email newsletters, it all adds up to one big mess of distraction that lingers at the edge of my subconscious and calls for my attention β€” attention that could be better spent engaging with the real world.

I didn't always know that my digital stuff was a problem, but I realized my physical stuff had gotten out of control when I (finally) read Marie Kondo's, "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up." The book launched me into a love affair with minimalism, resulting in a complete declutter of clothing, books, old papers, and dozens of boxes of stored possessions I hadn't touched in over a decade.

It felt amazing to wave goodbye to every load I donated, recycled, or threw away. But the invisible problem of digital clutter still weighed heavily in the back of my mind. I had to face reality: My digital life was a complete and total mess, and I was overwhelmed.

Tackling a physical declutter made me realize I had too much digital stuff

"Read later" apps were a big part of my problem. I'd been saving anything that looked even remotely interesting since my family first got a PC in 1998. As bookmarking options got more sophisticated, I tested several tools (and saved dozens of links) before settling on an organization app called Bublup.

The app's engaging interface, handy browser extension, and catch-all "Review Later" folder made it easy to save all types of content with a few clicks or taps. Between Bublup, the "Your Episodes" list in Spotify, and YouTube's "Watch Later" list, I managed to stockpile links to hundreds of articles, podcasts, and videos that I intended to look at β€” you guessed it β€” some nebulous later time that rarely materialized.

Things got worse when I briefly fell down the rabbit hole of second brains and Zettelkasten, systems that promised I could reclaim some of my attention by organizing digital clutter into a magical note taking app that would somehow free my brain to make new connections between the ideas contained in what I saved. But for that to work, I had to shoulder the task of taking detailed notes on every piece of content, categorizing them, and implementing an intricate cross-referencing system that would supposedly enable me to access entire hubs of externalized knowledge at a moment's notice instead of scrolling through endless bookmarks.

It was exhausting.

I finally had to admit that I needed a digital declutter

I started to feel like I was going nuts β€” until books came to my rescue once again.

Nicholas Carr's "The Shallows," Nir Eyal's "Indistractable," and Cal Newport's "Digital Minimalism," all opened my eyes to how my constant bouncing across content and tools was stealing attention from other, more important, areas of my lifeβ€”things I truly enjoyed, like reading, knitting, and face-to-face interaction with friends. And the authors armed me with practical steps to refocus that attention on what mattered.

I dove into digital minimalism with enthusiasm, starting with Eyal's suggestions for dumbing down my smartphone. I turned off the color, shut off notification tones and badges, and moved distracting apps to a second home screen I couldn't access when the phone was in Focus mode. Then it was time to corral the collection of content that had run wild across my bookmarking and media apps.

It took days to go through the majority of my bookmarks, delete what I no longer wanted, and organize the rest with a system of subfolders and tags. As I had done during my physical declutter, I waved goodbye to content and apps that had long been taking up space and my fragmented attention started to unify for the first time in years. It was as if the brain I'd had when I was a kid was coming out of hibernation, the brain that could read an entire book in one sitting and had no problem staying focused on a game or craft for hours.

It felt like I was waking up.

I have to keep on top of my digital clutter every week

Is my system perfect? Of course not. But I've developed a weekly routine that helps me reign in digital clutter on a regular basis. Each week, I take about 30 minutes on Friday or Saturday to sort through anddelete saved content that no longer interests me. I turn the remaining content into reminders on my weekly schedule so I have something to read, watch, or listen to each day that's actually worth my time.

I often get busy and miss a week or two of digital cleanout. But learning about digital minimalism and doing a digital declutter has helped me become more focusedβ€”and think more seriously about how I spend my time and attention.

Read the original article on Business Insider

My 12-year-old feels left out without a smartphone and wrote an essay asking for one. We still said no.

12 December 2024 at 15:23
Closeup of teenage boy sitting on couch and using smartphone in black phone case
The author and her husband decided against getting a smartphone for their son (not pictured).

Getty Images

  • My preteen feels left out because he's one of the few kids in his class without a cellphone.
  • My husband and I are concerned he lacks the impulse control for a phone or smartwatch.
  • We decided against getting him one for now, but will keep an open conversation about the topic.

My 12-year-old feels left out at school because he's not in a group chat with his classmates. He says he's one of the only kids in his class without a phone or smartwatch. At first, I was surprised, but Common Sense Media reported that 71% of 12-year-olds had their own smartphone as of 2021.

I don't want my son to feel left out. However, he already owns a Nintendo Switch, a Kindle, and an iPad. Even with strict screen usage limits, his access to the digital world feels robust enough for his age.

At the kitchen table a few nights ago, my son wrote a persuasive essay about why he should be permitted a smartwatch or a phone. It was well-researched, including this zinger: "I only need to use it when I go out with friends, so you don't worry about me. I can leave it on the charger when I'm at home."

It sounds innocent enough β€” a tool that will keep him in contact with us when he isn't home. However, I doubt the device will live on the charger. I've heard from other parents whose preteens are in the school group chat, that the messages come in fast succession and often at odd hours. With access, my son will likely obsess over the influx of messages, making his emotional attachments to friends even more complex.

I worry about the consequences of getting him a phone

For preteens, a phone or other tech device often has more consequences than only staying connected, Dr. Kyra Bobinet, a physician and behavioral expert, told Business Insider. Because the prefrontal cortex, which manages impulse control and decision-making, is still developing, "introducing phones too early may overwhelm a preteen with constant notifications and endless online options, making it harder for them to self-regulate," she said. These distractions can make it hard for them to form boundaries around screens.

Our preteen already melts down when his timer rings to turn off his devices, and he sometimes attempts to sneak more screen time. In my experience, he lacks the impulse control and self-constraint for a cellphone or smartwatch.

Dr. Zishan Khan, a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, said that because preteens (children between ages 9 and 12) are in critical stages of emotional and cognitive development, devices can expose them to adult content, peer pressure, and social media dynamics they aren't ready for.

Excessive screen time can impair their ability to focus. He added that it can also contribute to sleep disruption and interfere with their development of healthy coping strategies and positive social skills. Khan also said that preteen phone usage comes with other risks, such as cyberbullying and privacy and safety concerns.

"They may not fully understand the implications of oversharing on the internet, whether through text, photos, or geolocation features," he said. "It never ceases to amaze me how many times a very intelligent, well-meaning, and genuinely innocent child is coerced into doing things totally out of character, even being convinced to share inappropriate pictures.

My preteen is more tech-savvy than I am. Even if we give him a phone with boundaries, it's possible he'd outsmart our restrictions.

While we decided against it, we're keeping open communication about the issue

My husband and I took a few simple steps immediately following our son's request. We communicated with our son why we don't feel he's ready for a phone or smartwatch, including a conversation about his current behavior patterns.

We told him that we don't know when he'll get a device, and we also assured him that when we do get him a phone or smartwatch, we'll need to enforce healthy boundaries and restrictions. In the meantime, we offered him a compromise. He can use our phones to text friends until the time comes to get him his own device. We also promised to schedule intentional time with friends outside school so he doesn't feel as left out.

Although my preteen isn't happy with the decision, my husband and I strive for open, honest dialogue at home. I hope this will create bridges in our relationship instead of building walls because, like all well-meaning parents, we want to enter the teenage years with a strong relationship.

Read the original article on Business Insider

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