• Michael W. Sonnenfeldt started TIGER 21 so he could learn about wealth preservation from peers.
• The network now has nearly 1,600 members who all have a minimum net worth of $20 million.
• The biggest concern members have is probably how to not screw up their kids, Sonnenfeldt said.

This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with 69-year-old Michael W. Sonnenfeldt, the founder of TIGER 21, a membership organization for high-net-worth individuals. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

I'd sort of made it in life by the time I was 31 years old.

I achieved significant success in the real estate development world by developing the Harborside Financial Center — my partner and I bought an industrial warehouse when I was 25, with a vision to turn it into a modern computer center, and we sold it a few years later.

My next venture wasn't successful, and I lost money. I then went on to build a real-estate merchant bank called Emmes, which I sold in 1998.

When I sold Harborside, I didn't know the term "wealth preservation." At 30 years old, you're more focused on your next deal than preserving wealth, but losing money on my next venture was a wake-up call for me, and I wanted to avoid losing the capital I'd created after selling Emmes.

In 1999, I started TIGER 21, an organization for high-net-worth individuals to connect and discuss their finances and lives. I wanted to learn from other smart people about how they were grappling with wealth preservation.

Within the organization, ultrawealthy members are able to confidentially share and receive feedback on their investment portfolios, as well as discuss how not to screw up their children. It's produced some magnificent learnings.

I started TIGER 21 to support entrepreneurs who'd sold businesses

Although I'm the founder and chairman of TIGER 21, my first role is "member No. 1."

I started the group with six people who I'd connected with through Vistage, a coaching organization for business executives. These people, like me, had sold their businesses at a similar time and were no longer CEOs.

I invited these members to form a new group focused on the transition from entrepreneurship to investing and wealth preservation.

The group was born out of the realization that once you sell your business, you need a new body of knowledge about the next stages of your life. It's not just about finances but also legacy, children, health, and community.

Our members are primarily first-generation wealth creators, such as executives or entrepreneurs who've sold a business. They didn't grow up with that wealth, so managing it is new to them.

Some members have inherited wealth and have to manage it. The mix of wealth creators and inheritors helps wealth creators get insight into how their children might react to their wealth, and inheritors can connect with the entrepreneurial spirit of their ancestors who created that wealth.

Members share issues they're facing and talk about their investment portfolios

In 1999, the original threshold to be a TIGER 21 member was a minimum of $10 million of investable assets. Now, our community is for members with a minimum net worth of $20 million. We have nearly 1,600 members.

Net worth is just one factor in our rigorous application process. We look for individuals who meet the "five Cs" of membership: character, contribution, capacity, conditions, and capital.

A TIGER 21 membership costs roughly $33,000 a year, plus an initiation fee of $5,000.

At the core of the community experience is a full-day monthly meeting in small groups. We start with a world update or "personal board of directors" segment. Everyone in the group shares how the news in the last 30 days has impacted their views on investing and life.

Then, groups will discuss a few key issues that members have mentioned they're grappling with, like a family issue or investment consideration.

We tend to have a speaker at every meeting sharing on a topic, like biodiversity or China. Lastly, there's a portfolio defense. One group member will present their investment portfolio to the others for about an hour and a half. Everyone is bound by confidentiality.

Members also discuss parenting and passing wealth onto children

If you plan on leaving money to your children, you have to think about the estate tax impact, but there are also non-financial issues about how you treat each child. Do you treat them equally, how do you set up an estate plan?

These issues are talked about in every group, but we've also set up a family office division to address this. It's for principal leaders of single-family offices — private businesses established by families for financial management — who meet separately from our core groups to discuss themes like estate planning, family governance, and succession planning. It costs $50,000 a year with a one-time $5,000 initiation fee to be part of this division.

Throughout all of TIGER, the No. 1 concern probably isn't how to preserve wealth, but how to not screw up your kids. I'd say that some part of every meeting always touches on a situation happening with a member's children and how to address it productively.

I was in a family office group recently where two members shared their parenting approaches. One member talked about making their kids rake leaves or do odd jobs and telling them they'd have to pay for their first car because they wanted their kids to appreciate the meaning of labor and wealth. Another member shared their family "charter," outlining the family's values.

We discuss best practices all the way around.

It doesn't matter how much money you have, if you do something smart, it'll pay off. And if you do something stupid, it'll kick you in the butt.

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• Paul Hokemeyer has been a therapist to the ultra-rich for the last decade.
• There are certain issues his clients experience because of their wealth, which he shared with Business Insider.
• These include feeling valued only for their money and internalizing negative stereotypes.

A therapist to the ultra-rich shared what his clients talk about in sessions, from the wealthy father troubled by his children's entitlement to a man who feared leaving his home in case people asked him for money.

Paul Hokemeyer, a licensed marriage and family therapist who for 10 years has worked with clients with a net worth of at least $30 million, told Business Insider that his typical client is middle-aged and with inherited wealth. Only a handful of his clients have earned their own money because, in his experience, such people tend to feel more in control of their lives.

He previously told BI that ultra-rich people "suffer from the same mental health and relational issues as the rest of humanity."

But there are certain problems his wealthy clients talk about in therapy that are specific to their ultra-high net worth.

Feeling objectified

"The most common comments I hear from my clients are along the lines of 'people aren't interested in me, they are only interested in my money,' or 'my children are just waiting for me to die so they can get their hands on my money,'" Hokemeyer said.

"People of wealth are expected to provide. When they say no or create boundaries around what they are willing to give, they are perceived as villains," he said. The constant expectations on ultra-wealthy people can be exhausting and lead to painful, transactional relationships.

Hokemeyer gave the example of a father in his 80s whose adult children had spent their €40 million inheritances and expected him to continue to bankroll their extravagant lifestyles by taking money from their own children's inheritances. He started drinking heavily to manage the stress and the guilt he felt about his children's entitlement.

Hokemeyer helps clients address the sadness and disappointment they feel toward their relationships and create boundaries with people who rely on their financial support.

Feeling isolated

"While providing material comfort, wealth and power elevates people into a very isolated and too frequently self-destructive sphere of existence," Hokemeyer said.

There are a tiny number of ultra-rich people in the world — about 627,000, BI previously reported — and they can feel excluded from the rest of society. Plus, dealing with constant demands from others can lead them to retreat from normal life, he said.

One of his clients with a huge fortune from manufacturing stopped going out because he felt constantly accosted by everyone, Hokemeyer said — even in his apartment building's elevators, where his neighbors kept asking for charity donations.

"Over time, he became severely depressed and morbidly obese. He came to see me after suffering a near-fatal heart attack and realizing he needed to make some significant changes to reconnect with other human beings," he said.

Substance abuse

Hokemeyer finds that people of wealth often suffer with substance abuse problems, because they have easy access to intoxicants and because they can use their resources to avoid negative consequences.

This means that clients tend to come to Hokemeyer for help when those consequences have become "dire," he said — when their health is severely compromised, they've lost a lot of money, or their spouse has left them, for example.

The path out of substance abuse can be tricky for these individuals too, because, being used to being in control, they often resist treatment.

Feeling vilified

From teachings in the New Testament and Buddhist beliefs to the popular phrase "eat the rich," Hokemeyer said that we are surrounded by images of wealth as a form of moral decay and wealthy people as selfish and corrupt.

Many of his patients internalize these negative stereotypes and feel they are bad people, he said. So he works with them to address any guilt or shame they feel about their net-worth and to develop personalized ideas of what is healthy, within the context of their wealth and social status.

• Dubai is a haven for rich expats seeking business opportunities and low tax.
• Its real estate market is struggling to keep up with demand for luxury housing.
• Property prices keep rising as Dubai scrambles to build thousands more villas to meet demand.

Dubai is hot with the rich. The emirate has become an economic hub for entrepreneurship, business, and networking, while its lack of income tax is also a lure for many international ultra-high-net-worth individuals.

Geopolitical instability and tax policy changes in other hubs have only made Dubai more of a haven for the superrich. The influx of wealthy folk is causing a problem, however: there aren't enough houses to meet demand.

In its latest Dubai Market Review, property company Knight Frank found listings of luxury properties valued at more than $10 million plummeted by about two-thirds to 460 this year.

To meet surging demand, Dubai is scrambling to build more homes. Almost 9,000 villas will be completed by the end of the year, and another 19,700 are expected to be built in 2025.

Developers will have to build even more upmarket properties to meet demand. Knight Frank suggests that Dubai will need between 37,600 and 87,700 houses by 2040 to help accommodate a population set to reach about 5.8 million by then.

At the same time, prices in Dubai prime neighborhoods such as the Palm Jumeirah and Emirates Hills have soared, rising by 20% in the most recent quarter compared to the same period last year.

"Last year, we had 37 homes available for over $50 million," Faisal Durrani, Knight Frank's head of research for the Middle East and North Africa, told Business Insider. "This year, it's dropped to nine."

"We're talking quite small numbers here, but it's helping to paint this picture of a shortage of homes at the top end of the market."

Although Dubai's real estate market is buoyant, Durrani said the housing bubble could burst if the global economy slows or oil prices falter.

A global recession would mean "a very real risk of job losses, population reduction, and therefore reduction in demand for housing," he said.

Prices are expected to rise by 8% in 2025, yet luxury property in Dubai is still a relative bargain. Knight Frank found that $1 million buys 91 square meters of prime property there, compared with 33 square meters in London and 34 square meters in New York.

"When you put Dubai on the global stage and you're looking at relative affordability and affordable luxury, it's still reasonably priced compared to elsewhere in the world," Durrani said.