• Katy Allen has three children and runs a business.
• She has no family nearby, and her husband is a touring musician.
• She relies on home assistants for about nine hours each week.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Katy Allen, founder of Artful Agenda. It has been edited for length and clarity.

For the past eight years, I've relied on recent college graduates to help me make my life happen. They're not babysitters or admin assistants — I think of each helper as a "second me," who will do with any of the tasks I might, whether that's processing Amazon returns, putting away laundry, or taking the car for an oil change.

I'm a mom of three kids, who are now 11, 8, and 5. I'm also a business owner and was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. My husband is a musician who is often on tour, and our closest family lives five hours away.

Hiring help fills an important gap for me. It allows me not only to get things done but, more importantly, to close some of the mental tabs that I constantly have open in my brain. Because of the help, I've been more successful at work and more present with my kids.

Find yourself also wishing for a body double? Here's how I've made the arrangement work seamlessly.

Find the right help

I live near a university, and that's where I've found most of my helpers. The women who help me are typically students or recent college grads. They might work for a year or two before moving on. When they do, I typically ask them to refer a friend who might be interested in the job.

If I have to advertise, I say right in the ad I'm looking for a second me. I explain that they might be asked to do anything I would do (within reason — I won't have them scrubbing up bathroom messes), and each day will look different.

Automate the process

Having a helper is all about reducing my workload, but a lot of my friends worry that hiring help will actually be more work. To avoid that, I automate as much as possible. My helper works a set schedule, typically two to three days each week for about three hours at a time. She has a key to my house and can let herself in and start working without me giving directions. Some days I don't even see her.

I keep a running list of items (like laundry) that constantly need attention in a Google Doc. If I have time each week, I add more pressing items, like returning items to the store, getting a birthday gift, or organizing a particular area of the house.

The Google doc is great because my helper can leave comments and notes, letting me know what she did and if she had trouble with anything. I can process that when I have time, rather than during my workday or when I'm with the kids. I can also provide simple feedback in the document.

Trust is key

As you can see, my helpers have a lot of access to my life. I even share another Google Doc with log-in information for certain accounts, like Amazon. A relationship like this only works if you can really trust the person who's working for you.

I've never had issues with a helper being untrustworthy. Once, I had a helper who just wasn't a great personality fit. She must have felt the same, because we parted ways fairly quickly, and I advertised the position again.

Start small

I pay my helper a decent rate, somewhere between what I'd pay a babysitter and what I'd pay a professional admin assistant. So, the cost can add up. When I started this eight years ago, I'd be surprised at how much I spend on hired help today. Yet, it makes sense because I am more productive at work.

If you're new to hiring help, start small. Hire someone for ad-hoc projects or for just a few hours a month, and see if the impact on your productivity and brain space is worth the cost. For me, it certainly has been.

• Antoine Sallis was rejected for a car loan because his credit score was 378.
• About a decade later, he was a millionaire.
• He repaired his credit and used debt to build wealth.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Antoine Sallis, author of "The Great American Credit Secret: Part 2." It has been edited for length and clarity.

The best thing that ever happened to my finances felt like the worst thing possible at the time. I was in my late 20s, working as a sales rep at Teen Mobile. I was proud of that job and felt like I was making moves. My next step was to get a decent car, better than the $300 cars from Craigslist that I'd driven in the past.

One day, I walked by a dealership with a sign that said, "Your job is your credit." I took that to mean that as long as I had a job, I could get approved for a loan. I already knew I'd have to go somewhere lenient to get a car loan, but this seemed perfect. I didn't think I had any credit, but I definitely had a job.

To make the purchase even more of a slam dunk, I saved a $500 down payment and picked the cheapest car on the lot, which cost about $9,000. I strolled in to apply, filling out the long paper application. I waited for about 20 minutes. Then, the sales rep came out, barely containing his laugh. He told me my credit score was 378 — so low that I was an exception to their rule, and they couldn't give me a loan despite my job.

I learned about the potential of responsible debt

I walked out of there feeling dejected. I'd been planning to drive off that lot. On my bus ride home, I started thinking about credit, which I knew basically nothing about.

I got tunnel vision, and started to learn everything I could about credit. I started with books and videos. Later, I called people who worked in finance, offering them $60 to answer my questions for 30 minutes.

I cleaned up my own credit, which started with understanding why it was so bad. Once I pulled my credit report, I saw I had unresolved accounts I didn't even know about and student loans with late payments. I started paying my debts on time to build a positive credit history. Soon, people began asking me to help them understand theirs.

As I learned more, I realized credit could be an incredible tool. Once my credit score was better, I took loans to invest in real estate. Most people think debt is bad. But I realized debt can give an opportunity: if you can take out a loan and triple your money over the life of the loan, that's a win.

My mindset made me a millionaire

When I embraced that mindset, things started changing rapidly for me. I started a credit repair company and continued to invest in real estate. By 2020, my company was doing very well, and I was a millionaire. Today I'm 42, and I'm a multimillionaire with a 780 credit score.

In addition to learning about credit and debt, I've seen that your mindset can make a huge difference in your outcomes. Some people in my life are constantly looking for a handout, and they're stuck in a mindset of believing they can't do things. I used to be that way, but I changed.

I became a millionaire in my mind before I ever became one at the bank, because I adopted a strong mindset. I became focused and driven.

I pay for my son's college and give him an allowance

The importance of mindset is what I want my son, who is 18, to take from my story. I can see he's learned that lesson. He used to have C's and D's on his report card, but since he moved in with me, he's a straight-A student. He's about to graduate, and I'm rewarding his hard work by paying for college.

Throughout high school I gave my son a generous allowance, with the expectation that he'd keep his grades up. I pay for everything he needs, but if he wants money to hang out with friends, he knows that's his responsibility. He's seen my financial transformation, and I've talked with him since he was 10 about the importance of credit. Today, I think he knows more about credit than most people, and he even helps with my business teaching others about building their credit.

Now, I have good enough credit to drive luxury cars

That day when I was rejected for a car loan, I laughed along with the salesman. But really, it was no laughing matter. Today, I have multiple luxury cars, which I love. The Lamborghini Gallardo is probably my favorite, though my Bentley is really comfortable.

I want people to know that no matter how dismal your financial situation feels, you can change it. Leveraging credit and debt is a hidden avenue for people who didn't grow up wealthy to build their financial security. You can access more and more, as long as you do it responsibly.

• Lara Johnson is the chief medical officer at Covenant Children's Hospital in Lubbock, Texas.
• Her community is in the midst of a measles outbreak, with about 16 children hospitalized.
• She said parents of vaccinated children shouldn't be overly concerned.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Dr. Lara Johnson, chief medical officer of Covenant Health Lubbock Service Area and Covenant Children's Hospital in Lubbock, Texas. It has been edited for length and clarity.

The children's hospital in Lubbock, Texas, where I work, saw its first measles case about a month ago. Since then, we've had about 16 children hospitalized. Most of them are having trouble breathing and need supplemental oxygen. Very high fevers are also a concern with measles, and about one in five unvaccinated people with measles need to be hospitalized.

I'm not just the hospital's chief medical officer; I'm also a pediatrician and mom of two teenagers. I'm lucky that they're older and vaccinated. Two doses of the measles vaccine prevent 97% of measles cases, so I'm not worried about them.

Still, it's a tough time for the community. Measles is highly contagious, so hospital staff must treat patients in special isolation rooms and wear N-95 masks.

I think we're still at the beginning of the outbreak, and we're going to see a lot more illness among unvaccinated kids over the next few months. With that in mind, here's what the community should know.

Measles is serious, yet parents shouldn't be overly concerned

Measles is somewhat comparable to the flu, but it's more serious. There are short-term and long-term complications, including pneumonia, neurological complications, and encephalitis (swelling of the brain). According to the CDC, about three in 1,000 kids who contract measles die.

Despite that, parents of vaccinated children shouldn't be unduly concerned. The first dose of the measles vaccine is typically given at 12 to 15 months, and after that, children are 93% immune to the virus. After a second dose (given between 4 and 6 years), they're 97% protected. Even if there's measles at your school or day care, your vaccinated child is very unlikely to get it.

Because of that, parents don't need to worry about every sniffle. It's much more likely that vaccinated kids have a cold or the flu, which are also circulating in our community.

We're working closely with our local health department during this outbreak, and they're contacting people who may have been exposed to the virus. Call your pediatrician if you see the telltale rash associated with measles, which starts on the face.

Vaccines are critical — even after exposure

If you're exposed, it's not too late to get a vaccine. If a dose of the vaccine is administered within three days, you can still drastically reduce your chance of getting measles. This is called post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP). We're offering vaccination to as many unvaccinated people as possible, including the family members of hospitalized children.

We're also reaching out to people who are open to vaccines but may be a bit behind schedule to get them vaccinated as soon as possible.

We're emphasizing science and data, plus relationships

Vaccines can be polarizing, and there's no magic way to address communities that have strong anti-vaccine sentiments. As pediatricians, our job is to speak the truth about vaccines: they are safe and effective. We hope that families are willing to hear that.

What really helps is having an ongoing, open relationship between pediatricians and patients. That way, we can continue to have these conversations.

Infants are most at risk

It would be really stressful to have an infant in our community right now. I would keep infants out of the grocery store and crowded places as much as possible — though that's good practice during cold and flu season anyway.

Although the vaccine is usually given at 12 months, infants can get it as young as 6 months if they're exposed. If you're worried about your baby, call your pediatrician.

I'm focused on compassion

As a doctor, I treat patients and their caregivers with empathy and compassion. This situation isn't any different, even if measles is largely preventable. Not every family will make the decisions I might wish they would. I don't have power over that, but I have power over my ability to share the facts and deliver the best care possible.

• Kiki Ayers is the CEO of Ayers Publicity, which she founded while homeless.
• This year, the company is projected to make about $3.7 million.
• Ayers grew the company exponentially while she was pregnant with her son.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kiki Ayers, the CEO of Ayers Publicity. It has been edited for length and clarity.

In 2016, I walked through the lobby of a Los Angeles hotel, trying to look like I belonged there. Two years before, my job had put me up in the hotel, and I remembered that it had fancy bathrooms with stalls that extended all the way to the floor and ceiling. Now, I hoped one of those stalls would give me a safe place to stay for the night.

A few years before, I had moved from New York and Los Angeles for a job working for a musician. I left that job after two and a half years, expecting to find something new quickly. But I wasn't getting any callbacks. I patched together gigs as an entertainment reporter but had no consistent work. Before long I couldn't pay my rent, so I crashed at friend's houses or stayed in hostels when I had money.

That night at the hotel, I truly had nowhere to go. I shut the stall door, hoping no one would notice me. I took a few minutes to cry and wonder how I ended up in this situation. Then, I started focusing on how I could get out of it.

It wasn't the first time I'd be homeless

Because I was doing some freelancing entertainment reporting, I had lots of public relationship pitches in my inbox. I thought I could teach myself how to pitch to clients. I started emailing industry contacts and picked up a few clients. I charged them $500 a month. Since I still had no address, I had the payments sent to a friend's house.

After about four months of that, I had saved enough money to afford a one-bedroom apartment, which I shared with my brother. We didn't care that it was tiny. We were just so happy to have a roof over our heads. That wasn't always the case in our family: when I was in high school, my mom, brother, and I lived in a car because we were homeless.

My company really took off during an unplanned pregnancy

I had never considered being an entrepreneur. I thought it was amazing that I made decent money through my company.

In 2018, two years after I started the company, I unexpectedly became pregnant. When I was about four months along, I left my boyfriend. Knowing I would be a single mom kicked me into panic mode. I upped my rates, charging about $1,500 a month per client.

Then, I emailed competitors, posing as potential clients, to find out their rates. When I learned they charged $5,000, I increased my monthly rates to $3,500 per client. And I had a bunch of clients.

During my pregnancy, my business really glowed up. The last four months of my pregnancy I brought in $160,000.

I pivoted from celebs to business and tech clients

My son was born in December, which is a quiet time of year in LA, so I naturally had some time off with him. But soon, I was back to work, planning a major celebrity birthday party in February.

Working with celebrities was so time-consuming. I started realizing that people in business and tech were willing to pay more, and they needed less, which meant I could take on more clients. Soon, I signed $200,000 annual contracts with clients while growing my client roster. I was so busy that I started hiring people and contracting with freelancers.

I know my worth and don't back down

In 2024, my business made about $3 million. I am still surprised by the financial security I have. I'm very frugal and a bit afraid of losing it all. I put money in the bank or invest it, then don't touch it.

I've been so successful because I know my worth and am not willing to compromise on it. I'm willing to let clients walk away if they think my prices are too high because I know they're fair. And the ones who walk away almost always come back.

I've also had to accept that I don't know everything about business or wealth. I hire people who can do tasks I don't enjoy or am not good at. You have to be real with yourself about where your strengths are.

Now that I have more money than I could have ever imagined, I want to give back. I started a nonprofit called MyBestKidLife, which focused on education, relief of natural disasters, and supporting low-income families. I'm lucky to have gotten myself out of a terrible situation, and I want to help others do the same.

• Regina Lawless was DEI lead at Instagram from 2020 to 2023.
• She left the job after losing her husband unexpectedly.
• She says despite the current environment, DEI is here to stay.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Regina Lawless, author of "Do You." It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was in corporate America for 20 years, and for about the past decade, my work was focused on diversity, equity, and inclusion. I worked for many global firms, but my most prestigious role was as the DEI lead for Instagram, from 2020 until 2023.

Since I was the first DEI leader at the company, my first goal was to establish some goals. I really delved into Instagram's demographic makeup so we could understand how that compares to the demographic makeup of the general population. We collected data on any demographic you can imagine, including gender, race, ethnic background, and age. That way, we knew which groups were overrepresented or underrepresented.

With that data, I could see that women were underrepresented, especially in leadership at Instagram. Women make up about half the country's population, so you'd expect them to make up half of leadership, but only about 30% of leadership at the company was female. We made some progress on that during the tenure, using mentorship programs and other tools.

This is the most common misconception about DEI

People get quite a bit wrong about DEI. But the most fundamental misunderstanding is the idea that DEI programs put people who aren't qualified into positions. That's a huge mischaracterization.

DEI work means ensuring that everyone who is qualified has a fair shot at a role. We know that's often not the case. Opening the door to more people often means reexamining the hiring process. If you hire internally, but your team is mostly men, you're more likely to hire a man. If you ask for referrals, you only find people with connections. If you screen for candidates with Ivy League educations, you leave other perfectly qualified people out.

Another misconception is that DEI takes jobs away from qualified people. That couldn't be further from the truth. Instead, it's about opening up job opportunities to more people who have worked just as hard — maybe harder — but don't yet have a foot in the door.

I think businesses will want to keep DEI

Despite the current environment, I think DEI is here to stay. Fundamentally, teams are more creative and innovative when they're composed of people from varied backgrounds and experiences. That's better for business.

As Gen Z and eventually Gen Alpha enter the workforce, I think inclusion will be the natural way we do business. We might not call it DEI or assign one person the impossible job of ensuring equity, but there will be a culture of honoring people's differences and the strengths they bring.

My husband's death caused me to rethink my career

In 2021, I lost my husband unexpectedly to a heart attack. I was 40, and he was only 45. His death caused me to fundamentally rethink my outlook on life. My corporate work didn't feel as fulfilling. It didn't give me the freedom and flexibility I needed, especially now that I was a single mom to our son, who was 15.

Leaving Instagram was scary. I was making multiple six-figures and regularly received stock options that vested quarterly. I had recently bought a home and still had a mortgage. I had a good income but didn't have the type of wealth that meant I could retire.

I worked with my financial planner to bolster savings and diversify my investments. She advised me to keep working a while longer, but ultimately, I left sooner than she thought I should. I had to follow my heart.

I've redefined what success means to me

Now, I'm an author, content creator, and coach. In my first year of self-employment, I made about a quarter of what I was making in my corporate role. I had to adjust to getting paid monthly or less often rather than every two weeks. My cash flow was very different from what I was used to.

Since then, I've grown my business. I haven't yet matched what I made in my corporate role, but I'm confident I will soon. The creative freedom and creativity in my work today feel priceless — well worth the sacrifice of a title and salary.

Throughout the past five years, I've realized that success means knowing who you are and living in alignment with that. I've done that through five steps. I reconnected with my heart, finding my desire for more creativity; I restored my body through yoga; reframed my beliefs and ditched self-limiting stories; renewed my spirit by finding joy again; and reinvented routines, making sure all this personal growth sticks.

• Jason Rivers founded Oasis Energy Drink with his best friend, Wesley Fowler.
• The two met playing pee-wee football three decades ago.
• Rivers says their complementary strengths make the business successful.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jason Rivers, cofounder of Oasis Energy Drink. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Wesley Fowler and I have been friends since fourth grade. That's when we met, playing football outside Atlanta, where we grew up. We played all together all through middle school and high school. Our families were intertwined, and we were best friends. I was even a groomsman at Wes's wedding.

We have always had an interest in becoming entrepreneurs together. I've been a serial entrepreneur, with some ventures more successful than others. Wes has worked mostly in the corporate world, though he's dabbled in entrepreneurship too.

A while back, we ran a promotional company in Atlanta together. It worked well, but Wes moved away about three months in. Since then, we have been always talking about possible collaborations. Two years ago, we found one we thought would really work: Oasis, a natural energy drink.

Our complimentary skills are our superpower

Working with Wes isn't my first time starting a business with a friend. I had a company with a friend in the past, but it didn't go well. I managed to save the friendship — I just recently attended an NFL game with him — but the company just wasn't meant to be.

What makes things work well with Wes is that his strengths are my weaknesses, and vice versa. I came up with the idea for Oasis, but Wes is the market genius who brought my idea to life. I'm good with numbers and operations, while he has a creativity I envy. When we bring those strengths together, it feels like we have a super power.

One thing we have in common is that we like to do things with a sense of urgency. We never let problems pile up, and we're constantly working on the company together, even when that means late-night phone calls after our families are asleep.

We keep our friendship at the forefront

Friendship is still the foundation of our relationship. We've been friends for 31 years now and business partners for two years. We relate to each other man to man first. Sometimes, that means understanding family obligations. My kids are older, but Wes has two small kids and is in a more intensive parenting stage. I make sure he has space for that.

Since we have such a long history, we're not caught up in ego. We respect and trust each other, but we're not trying to prove anything. Sometimes, I'll get on a call thinking I know exactly what direction we should take. Wes will have a different idea. I'm humble enough that I can hear him out and change my mind if what he says makes sense.

We also give each other a lot of autonomy. Wes makes marketing decisions without needing my OK, and I do the same on the operations side. That frees us up to spend our time together talking about bigger decisions.

We're used to solving problems together

Being an entrepreneur means constantly solving problems. We've had plenty over the past two years, but we've been able to work through them all because of our friendship. Wes and I both have high emotional intelligence and never lose our tempers. We can tell each other when we need more time to think over a decision, and we trust that we're in this together. After 31 years, we wouldn't know anything else.

• Darrell Spencer founded Crowned Skin, a skincare brand for men.
• He invested profits into real estate, but still rents the condo that he lives in.
• He says his high school friends don't expect him to pay for things.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Darrell Spencer, founder of Crowned Skin. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Growing up, my mom worked for the post office, and my dad was an officer with the Chicago Police Department. They rose through the ranks at those solid, middle-class jobs until my mom was a Postmaster and my dad was a Commander. Their income covered necessities for me and my sister, but my parents had another income source that pushed us into the upper middle class: real estate investing.

One of my first memories is living in a three-family home in Chicago. My dad owned the building, so we were living essentially for free since the other tenants' rent' paid the mortgage — it was house hacking before that term existed.

My dad sold that building for a substantial profit, which he used to buy us a one-family home while also reinvesting in rental properties. I started learning at an early age that real estate was a great way to build wealth while also maintaining cash flow through asset appreciation.

My company made $4 million during its first year

We were comfortable financially, but I knew we weren't rich. I also saw how hard my parents worked. In addition to the police department and real estate, my dad had a third part-time job. I knew I wanted to go to college, but I didn't want my parents to have the financial burden of paying for it. I applied for a full-ride scholarship, and being able to tell them I got it felt like a gift to them and me.

After college, I worked for the biggest-name tech companies, focusing on digital marketing strategy. That sparked my interest in entrepreneurship. I first started my business, Kings Crowning, about five years ago, which sells satin-lined hair wraps for men of color. About two years ago, I launched Crowned Skin, which makes men's body butter with scents and pheromones. I still own both companies, but Crowned Skin has taken off in a huge way, making $4 million in revenue during the first year.

I own 18 rentals, but I rent the condo where I live

As soon as I started making money, I started investing in real estate. I now own about 18 rental units in greater Chicago. Last year, I officially became a millionaire at 27. I see real estate investing as a way to continue to grow my wealth and create more financial stability independent of my companies.

Despite that, I still rent the condo I live in. It's modest: about 1,200 square feet and three bedrooms. As a real estate investor, I'm very conscious about any debt I take on since banks consider my debt-to-income ratio when making loans. I haven't taken on a personal mortgage because I can make more money taking on loans for rental properties. When I take the leap into a personal mortgage, it will be for my first home.

I'm conscious of spending, but I have some indulgences, like the Porsche Panamera I drive. Driving it makes me feel good. I love cars, and my parents always drove nice vehicles like Land Rovers and BMWs.

My old friends can't relate to my wealth, but we still hang

I still hang out with a lot of my high school friends. The foundation of our friendship is all the experiences we shared growing up and stories that we can still laugh about today. Sure, I have some new experiences because of my wealth they can't relate to, but we share enough that the friendships are still deep.

If I'm out with friends I'll often pick up the tab for dinner or drinks. I want to do it, and I appreciate that my friends never expect me to pay. I've worked really hard to get where I am. I continue to live modestly and spend strategically to build my wealth. I would be uncomfortable if people expected me to pay just because of my financial status. Luckily, money hasn't created a wedge in any of my relationships, and I think that's a testament to the quality of friends that I have.

I work as if I'm not a millionaire

These days, I'm very comfortable financially, but I'm careful not to be complacent. I know that when you feel too comfortable, that's when things can get shaky. Money can go as quickly as it came.

So, I still work like I'm young and hungry, not like I'm a millionaire. I have big dreams for my businesses and for myself. That's just called ambition.

• Colleen Slagen is a mom of three and a name consultant.
• She said social media has increased the emphasis on sibling sets.
• Themes and styles can guide name selection, but going too similar can be cheesy, she says.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Colleen Slagen, author of "Naming Bebe: An interactive guide to choosing a baby name you love." It has been edited for length and clarity.

The idea of giving siblings matching names isn't anything new, but social media has helped the idea spread far and wide. As a name consultant who's active on Instagram and TikTok, I hear from lots of parents who are concerned about creating a perfect sibling set of names. Parents believe names can create family cohesion and unity.

Creating a sibling set can be fun but can also create stress for parents. Here's what to think of when you're creating a sibling set, and how to know when to change course — which is something I had to do while naming my own three children.

Remember that sibling sets aren't the end-all

I worked with a mother who intensely regretted one of her children's names. It wasn't that she didn't like the name — she just didn't think it matched with the names of her other children. She was even considering changing her child's name.

I reminded her that a sibling set of names isn't the end-all-be-all. Our children are going to spend most of their lives existing independent of their sibling set. I never want parents to get too caught up in how cohesive their children's names are.

Decide what unites your sibling set

The easiest way to create a sibling set of names is to think about a style category of names that you like. If you're into classic names like John, they'll always go well with other classics, like Dorothy.

Or, you can focus on name meanings. Nature-inspired names like Sky and Juniper can make good sibling sets, for example.

Another option is to think about length. I find that four-letter names often go well together. At the same time, it's OK to put together short and long names if they have a similar style. I love the sibling set Ada and Bernadette, for example.

Subtlety goes a long way

When I worked with baby company JoJo Maman Bébé on the do's and don'ts of sibling sets, I reminded parents that subtlety goes a long way. If your theme is too niche, it can come across as cheesy.

I would never name sisters Goldie, Violet, and Scarlett, or brothers Bear and Fox — that's a little too on the nose for me. The same can happen with names that sound too similar, like Banks and Brooks, or Adeline and Caroline. If there are multiple letters shared between the names, they may be too close.

Don't be afraid to change course

I named my oldest child Rory, envisioning a sibling set of traditional Irish names. But as I got to know more kids and families in my hometown outside Boston, I realized that the Irish names I liked were too common for my taste. So, I pivoted to more traditional English names and now have Rory, Janie, and George.

I see that parents are very concerned about equality in naming and worry about a child feeling left out. That thinking can box parents into a specific naming pattern. If you start with two J names, you might find yourself following in the Duggar's footsteps and giving all your children J monikers. But remember, you're not obligated to continue any patterns, and personally I don't think your children will mind.

Don't fight true love

Thinking about a sibling set can help guide you as you pick a name for your second, third, or sixth child. Yet occasionally, you'll discover a name that's just right for your new addition — even if it doesn't match their siblings.

I see this a lot with celebrities. Actor Ashley Tinsdale, for example, has two daughters named Jupiter (which feels hyper-modern, majestic, and rare) and Emerson (which is much more mainstream). Sometimes, you can't fight the name that feels right.

• John Gregory built wealth through social entrepreneurship.
• He taught his kids money buys access and tries to pass on what he's gained to his communities, too.
• Past health struggles have helped him learn to push through the limitations he put on himself.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with John Gregory, founder of the National Center for Urban Solutions, Enterprises, and the African American Male Wellness Agency. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was raised in an upper-middle-class home with a lot of resources, especially for a Black family in the 1960s. My aunt and uncle, who raised me, both had advanced degrees, and everyone in our family got a college education. My uncle was a professor of Black history, and my aunt worked at a local library.

Our neighbors on both sides were doctors, a pediatrician on one side and a gynecologist on the other. Most of the neighborhood was white. I was exposed to the access and power that my white friends had, including to fancy education and international travel. I noticed it seemed effortless to them — as if they knew they deserved this. I wanted that for myself, and eventually, my kids.

My aunt and uncle didn't give me much of an education when it came to money, but they did emphasize that I could be whatever I wanted to be. They really built up my self-esteem. I truly thought I would be the first Black president. They raised me to never say, "I can't."

That self-belief and determination carried into my entrepreneurial and philanthropic ventures throughout my life. My net worth is a private matter, but as the old joke goes — it's more than $5. My wife and I have raised millions for our communities. I've had the resources to make a big impact, for others and my family.

I know money buys access

When I was in my early 20s, a mentor told me that if you're going to be a decision-maker, you've got to be in the room where decisions are made. And once you're in that room, you need the financial and intellectual resources to influence people.

Today I'm 69, and my five kids range in age from 25 to 46. I also have two bonus kids — close family friends who call me dad. They'd kill me if I didn't mention them.

Biological or not, I've taught all my kids that money buys you access. It gets you in that room, where you can experience decision-making and power. That's worth more than flashy clothes or fancy vacations.

I feel a responsibility to help others gain access, too

I've been blessed to have access, and as I've grown my wealth, I've been in more rooms with important people. I feel a responsibility to use that access to help others, and teach them the tools they need to change their lives.

As the founder of the National Center for Urban Solutions, I focus heavily on education, providing charter schools and in-demand job training. I believe education and access to technology helps people leverage economic opportunities. Of course, they have to be healthy to take advantage of opportunities, too, so I offer health screenings through the African American Male Wellness Agency.

I've tried to build institutions that have solid infrastructure to help people develop the tools they need to get out of poverty. That happens through education, access to technology and training, and healthcare.

Health struggles have reminded me time is short

That last one is particularly important to me. I've had cancer twice, and nine years ago I went blind. My health struggles have taught me that life is short. Whatever you're putting off for tomorrow, don't, because time is not really your friend.

It's also helped me see that we too often put limitations on ourselves. When I lost my sight I thought I might have to stop working. I was looking at what other people thought I could do — not what I knew I could do. Once I started responding to myself rather than people's expectations of me, I was able to keep living. In fact, I haven't missed a day of work.

I want people in my community to know they were created to be great

I work with my wife, two of my children, and many of my nieces and nephews. From 8 to 5, it's all about business. I'm Mr. Gregory, the one who's holding them accountable and making sure our outcomes are good. After 5, I'm Dad again. I try not to take business home.

I keep that respect at work, because I want my family and the people at my companies to know they were created to be great. That respect starts inside. If you don't respect yourself no one else will.

I've been blessed with lots of access. And I'm blessed to be able to show others those tools to move themselves forward in life. Sometimes that means teaching them how to code switch, or learn the language of the game they're trying to play. More than anything it's about finding opportunities, not excuses.

• Shawn Johnson East won gymnastics gold at the 2008 Olympics.
• Now she's a mom of three, with the former NFL player Andrew East.
• She constantly worries about fostering her kids' interests without pressuring them.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Shawn Johnson East, a co-creator of Beam Kids. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was 16, I stood on a gold-medal podium at the Olympics. As a gymnast, I had been raised to think that was the pinnacle of success. But as I stood there, I thought: "This is really cool, but is this it? Is this the greatest I'll ever feel in my life?"

Now I'm 33, and while that moment was amazing, I know it didn't define my success. Since then I've found so much joy in little moments, like meeting my husband, learning how to make sourdough, skiing for the first time, and getting accepted to college. Then I had my babies, who are now 5, 3, and 1, and I experienced a whole new level of awe.

That's what I want my kids to learn about success: It happens in the small moments. Success isn't an Olympic gold medal, an NFL contract, or a big paycheck — it's finding what makes you fulfilled in life.

I feel a responsibility to help my kids find fulfillment

Of course, finding your passion can be easier said than done. My husband, Andrew East, is an NFL long snapper who signed with teams including the Washington Commanders and the Kansas City Chiefs. Andrew and I were both lucky to find our passion in sports, and we know how good that feels.

Now, we talk constantly about how to help our kids find their passion without putting pressure on them. This question haunts me, and Andrew and I talk about it multiple times each week. Neither of us cares if the kids follow us into football or gymnastics, but we feel a lot of responsibility to help them find something they're obsessed with.

As a parent, that's daunting. It's hard to know when it's time to teach the kids perseverance with a new activity versus just accepting it's not their thing. At the same time, helping them discover their passions is so much fun for me. My daughter and sons each have different interests already.

Perfectionism used to keep me from trying new things

Meeting Andrew cracked me open in the most beautiful way. Before meeting him, I was a horrible perfectionist. I was too paralyzed to try anything new because I felt if I wasn't great at it right away it wasn't worth trying.

Andrew's the opposite. He couldn't care less what the world thinks, and he wants to try everything. Because of him, I'm pushing myself outside my comfort zone. I tried golf and am getting my pilot's license.

As a kid, my big dream wasn't to be an Olympic gymnast; it was to be an orthopedic surgeon. That's never going to happen — there's no way I'm going to medical school — but I'm seriously considering getting my nursing degree. I love medicine and the science behind it.

Supplements are key in our family

Andrew and I are big into biohacking. We take supplements every day. And, like many parents, we have kids who would rather eat Cheetos than chicken, so we wanted them to be able to benefit from supplements too. We were frustrated that there weren't many quality supplement options for kids.

We worked with a friend who owns a supplement company and our pediatrician to develop supplements for our three kids. Then we realized other parents might want the same — that's how Beam Kids came to be.

Each night, we have bath time and then read books before bed. The two older kids still like having warm milk while we read, but they were happy to switch to "hot cocoa" made with chocolate-flavored Beam Kids Superpowder. It's sweet, so it feels indulgent to them, but I love that it has greens, vitamins, and probiotics.

Motherhood helps me find fulfillment

Given the history of abuse at USA Gymnastics, I think about safety for all my children. There's been this beautiful movement in my generation to push for openness and communication. We came from generations where many things weren't talked about openly, but now we can name abuse or inappropriate behavior.

I'm already starting — in an age-appropriate way — to talk about safety. Open communication and education will go a long way in keeping my kids and others safe.

I was an only child, so living with a family of five has been new to me. Seeing sibling relationships up close is fascinating. For me, motherhood has been another way to find success and fulfillment every day and step out of my comfort zone.

• Dr. Julia Iafrate, DO, practices sports medicine, and physical medicine and rehabilitation.
• She's a former competitive skier who tore her ACL.
• She says hormones increase the risk of an ACL injury but aren't the only factor.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Julia Iafrate, DO, a physician with the Center for Women's Sports Medicine at NYU Langone. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I first started skiing when I was about 6. I grew up in Canada, where skiing was a way of life. I used to race until I tore my ACL, a major ligament in the knee joint, at 18. Once that was surgically repaired, I had two more back-to-back knee injuries that required surgery. That ended my competitive ski career but kicked off my interest in medicine.

Now, I'm a double-board-certified doctor in sports medicine and physical medicine and rehabilitation. I'm one of the doctors who treat the US Ski Team. In my work, I'm seeing more discussion about the impact of hormones on sports injuries for women. Here's what we know about the role of hormones in injury and how to prevent getting hurt on the slopes.

Women are more prone to ACL injury

Women are twice as likely to tear their ACLs than men are — in fact, some research puts the risk much higher, at eight times the risk men have. There are a few reasons for this. Women tend to have wider hips than men, which impacts the knee angle. Anatomically, this can increase the risk of ACL injury.

In addition, broadly speaking, women have less neuromuscular control than men. Boys are often encouraged into sports like weightlifting and biologically have more muscle mass. Women tend toward sports like figure skating or dancing, where strength isn't the priority. Since muscle strength provides stability, many women have less stability in their ACLs compared to men.

Hormones play a role too

Hormones are also at play. We need more research on this, but a few studies suggest that women are more likely to injure their ACLs when they're ovulating.

This is the time of the menstrual cycle when estrogen is highest. Estrogen can make ligaments less stiff, increasing the risk for injury. This is the same reason women might experience ligament injuries during pregnancy. Since body temperature also increases during ovulation, the body may be more prone to inflammation and injury.

To be clear, we would never blame an ACL injury purely on hormones. But, increased estrogen combined with fatigue, lack of muscle control, and biomechanical strains on the ligament can have an impact.

However, women aren't the only ones with a correlation between hormone changes and injury. For males, increased testosterone can increase competitiveness or risk-taking behavior, creating more risk for injury.

Dynamic exercises can help

Flexibility is often celebrated, but without stability, it's not great. Women — and everyone else — need flexibility and stability to protect their ligaments. Building strength is a great way to increase stability.

Focus on exercises that mimic the real world and use multiple muscle groups simultaneously. Squats and leg presses are great examples. These exercises train multiple muscle groups to work together and respond to different stimuli. That will help on the slopes when you need to suddenly navigate around other skiers, stay steady on a patch of ice, or land a jump.

Quit while you're ahead

When you notice you're tired during an exercise, your muscles are already fatigued. That reduces your performance, and it's one of the reasons so many injuries happen on the last run of the day.

Remember, no bear is chasing you. You can always ski another day, so don't push it once you begin to feel tired. Head to the lodge and enjoy après instead.

Be mindful of whole-body changes

Whether you're on the national ski team or hitting the slopes as a casual hobby, it's important to be aware of changes to the whole body during your menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause.

I had my first baby 15 months ago, and I still can't run with the same biomechanics I had before. I've had to understand that and give myself grace in getting back into exercise. By listening to your body and acknowledging the changes that hormones can bring, you can prevent an injury, which is much easier than trying to repair one after it happens.

• Bethany Stevens will be moving to Spain with her husband and two kids.
• They've been planning the family "gap year" for five years.
• Preparations include taking care of their pets, getting medications, and seeking professional advice.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Bethany Stevens. It has been edited for length and clarity.

On July 3rd, my family will leave our home in upstate New York and fly to Madrid, where we'll live for a year.

We've been dreaming about taking a family gap year or sabbatical to Europe for a long time, so we're planning up front to get the most out of the experience. Here's how we're making it work.

We started talking and planning long ago

My kids are now 8 and 10, but we went on a trip to Disney as a family when they were much younger. I was entirely unimpressed and thought, "This can't be it" for family travel. Shortly after, we took the kids to Paris. It was a total disaster in every sense of the word — no one was sleeping, our stroller was too big for Parisian streets — but I loved it. My husband and I knew that's the type of travel we wanted to do as a family.

We started traveling more internationally, and five years ago, we set a goal of spending a year in Europe. We chose Madrid for its culture and location. We had actually never visited before we picked the city, but we loved it during a December scouting trip.

My husband is the CEO of an investment advisory firm, and he told his coworkers his plan to take a year off. They've known it's coming, which has made it easier for the company to plan for. We've had time to save for the trip, and our family and kids have had plenty of time to get used to the idea.

We are keeping our lives stable at home

Right now, we only plan to be abroad for a year. Because of that, we're keeping as much as possible normal at home. We're not selling belongings. A family member is going to move into our home for a year. We'll continue to pay the mortgage, but they'll pay for utilities and other costs, like having the grass cut.

One of the biggest challenges is our pets. We have three dogs, a cat, a few reptiles and guinea pigs, and a flock of chickens. Family and friends are helping us by volunteering to watch them for the year. We may bring our smallest dog. The kids would like to have that piece of home, but I'm not sure the logistical challenges will be worth it.

We're settling in in Spain

To me, there's a difference between living somewhere and visiting. My husband and I are still talking about how we'll balance those while we're abroad. We want to see more of Europe, but also really feel we're living in our Madrid neighborhood.

Because of that, we've enrolled the kids in school. It's a British school teaching English, but about 70% of the students are Spanish. We're already working with a language tutor in Madrid, and learning the language will be a major focus for us while we're in Spain.

We're packing very light

We're not taking much with us on the move. I'm very excited to move toward a more minimalist lifestyle. As a mom, I want fewer things to manage so I have more time for myself. The kids will each have a backpack they can fill with toys and other items they want to bring. They're used to traveling this way on vacations, making them a lot more intentional about using their toys.

We're being fluid with the budget

This is the experience of a lifetime for our family, and we've been planning for it for a long time. Because of that, we're not focused on minimizing costs. We want to have the best experience possible and know that will mean more costs than a typical year.

We're budgeting about $3,000 to $5,000 for an apartment each month. We'll pay about $2,600 for health insurance and are keeping our US plan, so there are no gaps in coverage. We're also paying for private school tuition.

In addition, we've spent money on consulting with professionals. I paid about $1,000 to an immigration consultant who helped handle the filing and translation of our paperwork. We've also talked with US and Spanish tax professionals to understand the tax implications of our move.

There are some things I can't take care of yet

While I've been planning for a long time, there are many things I can't do until closer to our departure. Most apartments, for example, are only listed a month or so before they're free. That's tough on my type-A personality, so I'm keeping a checklist and doing what I can, like booking doctor and vet appointments right before our departure. Beyond that, I'm looking forward to the day we actually land in Madrid.

• Bonnie Scott owns Mindful Kindness Counseling in San Antonio.
• She focuses on meeting her basic human needs, like food, water, and connection.
• She builds autonomy while maintaining boundaries.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Bonnie Scott, owner of Mindful Kindness Counseling. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I've been a therapist for over a decade and opened my own practice in 2020. It's normal for me to see an uptick in new patients in January — it's part of the self-care many of us chase with the New Year.

This year, I haven't seen more patients than usual, but the ones who have contacted me are more eager to be seen. For a lot of people the world feels overwhelming, and there's an urgency to their desire to talk with a therapist.

I'm also a mom to a 10-year-old, and I lost my dad in a motorcycle accident in 2024. I know that feeling of life being overwhelming. Here's how I cope when life feels like a lot.

I focus on the basic five human needs

When clients are overwhelmed, I urge them to really consider what's sending their nervous system into overdrive. Often, that happens because we're not meeting our basic human needs. Ask yourself, are you hydrating, eating good food, sleeping, moving your body, and seeing people who love you?

When you're doing those five things, you can better regulate your nervous system. The world is complex, but our nervous systems are relatively simple. Taking care of your basic needs is actually pretty easy and can make a big difference in your well-being.

Choose to look away

Our brains are hardwired to pay attention to things that feel threatening or frightening. It's a survival tactic, and it's automatic. These days that can mean endlessly consuming news that's scary.

We need to purposefully choose to do the opposite. Put down the phone, play with your dog, or drink a glass of water. These are simple actions, but they don't come as naturally as doom-scrolling.

These days, if anything major happens, you're sure to hear about it. A colleague will mention it, or you'll get a news alert. You have no obligation to check the news constantly.

Build your autonomy

I want all my clients to have autonomy, which I define as being free to make choices that are authentic for them. Even when the world feels out of our control, we have autonomy over some things.

For example, you can choose what you share about yourself and your family. You can create micro-communities around you. I pay attention to local news and look for ways to make a difference in local elections, where I have more influence.

Define your own boundaries

Boundaries are very important but super personal. To decide what boundaries are right, you have to consider yourself, the other person, and your unique relationship. Some boundaries are like an electric fence: hard and shocking. Others are like traffic cones: with more room for discussion and maneuvering. You might allow your grandmother to say something you wouldn't tolerate from your mom. Only you can decide what boundaries you should have, and there's no right or wrong answer.

Monitor your consumption, especially in the morning and at night

I never reach for my phone first thing in the morning. I know bad things are happening at night, but I don't need to know about them first thing in the morning. Instead I have coffee, let my dog out, and drop my daughter at school before checking the news.

I often remind my clients to do the same before bed. If they're on social media or news sites, their brains aren't shutting down for the evening.

Curate your social media

If you're choosing to spend time on social media, make sure it's making you happy. That means curating the algorithm by interacting with things you want to see more of — even if that's just Zillow's latest whacky home listings.

Assume the good

People can be hurtful, but no one is all good or all bad. I teach my daughter to assume that people have good will and to build communities that will take care of her and that she can take care of in return.

• Lisa A. Phillips started researching teen relationships when her daughter started dating.
• She learned that parents should validate feelings but not ruminate too much with teens.
• Teens have different ideas about sexuality and relationships, and parents shouldn't judge.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lisa A. Phillips, author of First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My daughter was 13 when she started dating. I found myself very worried and preoccupied by her love life to a pretty inordinate degree. I realized that I was being drawn back into my own experiences as a teen, and those were making me feel very protective of my daughter.

I'm a journalist, and this experience sparked my professional curiosity. I started interviewing teens, parents, professionals, and researchers about what young people go through as they navigate relationships, breakups, and crushes.

My daughter is now 20. I've learned through writing my book that parents can learn alongside their child about love, heartache, and relationships while offering support. Here's how.

Talk with kids about love

Many of the young people I talked to say they wish their parents had talked to them more about love and relationships. Ask questions like "Why do you like this person?" or "How do they treat you?"

These show you're curious about your child's romantic life , even if you're just talking about a crush. It's a signal that you value love and see relationships as something that people should evaluate, assess, and reflect on. This opens the door to ongoing conversations.

Recognize this stage can be fun

There's some really serious stuff involved in teenage relationships, but at the same time, it's fun to explore love with your child. One of the experts I interviewed said parents should become romantic philosophers. Engage your kids in conversations about romance, beginning at a young age, with the shows they watch. With time, that can lead to more exploration and complex conversations.

Validate their feelings

The most important thing parents can do is validate their children's feelings about their relationships. This is key even if the relationship seems insignificant to you. Maybe it was just a crush or a relationship that existed solely online.

Instead of dismissing your child's feelings, recognize that even these small relationships can create a lot of hope for the future. When that ends, it can have a real impact.

Don't ruminate too much

It's normal for kids to have intense negative feelings after a heartbreak. They might say, "She hates me now," or "He's such a jerk." Parents should validate what their child is feeling but not ruminate on those negative emotions with their teen. If you do that, you can just stir up negative emotions or obsessive feelings.

Instead, focus on solutions

Instead, try to problem solve with your teen. For example, if they work with their ex and find that distracting, explore whether they can switch shifts for a bit. Help them learn to manage everyday life without the person they broke up with. This will empower them.

Don't judge

Despite what they might show, many teens still see their parents as powerful moral authorities. So, if you express any judgment — even unintentionally — it can have a big impact on your child. Whether it's about a public display of affection, what your child is wearing, or their choice of a partner, judgment will make them clam up and stop talking.

Listen to your kids when they express their sexuality

One thing that surprised me in researching the book is how queer teenagers are today. In my generation, you identified your orientation by a feeling that was too strong to ignore. I wasn't comfortable saying I was bisexual until I fell in love with a woman. But kids today feel they don't have to prove anything. Your daughter might only date boys but still identify as bisexual because she knows that to be true for herself.

Understand relationship timelines are different

Teen relationships don't follow a timeline that most parents are familiar with. There's now a long "talking" period, which involves lots of texting. There are situationships and friends with benefits that aren't defined as a relationship but that still have an emotional impact.

Prepare for your own feelings

Many parents might reassess their romantic pasts or current relationships as their teens start dating. Seeing your child move through relationships can bring old emotions to the surface, but you shouldn't let your experiences blind you to what your child is going through.

I've come to think of teen dating as a dual-generation right of passage. When your child starts exploring their love life, you must take care of yourself even as you care for them.

• Genesis Gutierrez is the founder of Harness, a therapeutic community for women.
• She immigrated to the US with her parents when she was 7, on a business visa.
• She later became undocumented as a teen, until being granted asylum.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Genesis Gutierrez, founder of Harness. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I don't remember much about my parents' decision to immigrate to the US. I was only 7, and it seemed like one day, life was normal in Venezuela, and the next, we were boarding a plane to Miami.

My parents, two brothers, and I immigrated on a business visa. My parents had a business in the US selling gift shop items and small trinkets, and they had a similar business in Venezuela. But as the political situation in Venezuela worsened, they couldn't keep the Venezuelan business to meet the terms of their visa. When I was about 13, we became undocumented.

At first, I didn't feel the impact. My parents continued their US-based business, and we lived a middle-class life in Orlando. But when I was around 16, I realized my immigration status would impact my life. I qualified for Florida scholarships with my grades but not with my immigration status. I had to pay out-of-state tuition for community college classes I was taking.

Eventually we were granted asylum

After graduating from high school, I moved to California. There, I felt like the first place I could get my questions answered. During a visit, I walked into a community college and explained my immigration status. They knew just what to do.

Once I moved to California, I could get in-state tuition and a driver's license, which gave me stability that I didn't have in Florida.

Soon after that, in 2020, my parents applied for asylum. Since I was under 21, I was part of their petition. At first, the application was denied because we had been in the US for so long, but upon appeal, it was approved.

I gained lawful immigration status in 2023 and expect my green card to arrive any day now.

I started an online community to connect, and it became my business

I identify as American. And yet, for a long time, I felt I had no control over my life because of my immigration status. I studied international development in college but still don't have a passport.

Since I couldn't travel, I started connecting with other women and sharing their stories. I realized that many women had mental health challenges and grief, just like me. Our stories and situations were different, but our needs were the same.

In 2020, I started Harness, an online community for women. We do healing exercises, journal, work with therapists, and support each other. Soon, we'll be starting live events.

Founding a company gave me control

My parents have always been entrepreneurs — that's what brought them to the US. They taught me work ethic and resilience that served me well as I started a company while going through immigration proceedings.

Today, I pay myself a six-figure salary while reinvesting in my company. I have financial stability, but more than that, I have the freedom to work when I want and bring my company in the direction that I think is best. I never chased venture capital funding because I wanted to retain that control.

I used to think I would want to travel and celebrate as soon as I got my green card. But now, I don't feel that anxiety or pressure. I let immigration control my life for so long, but I've found my purpose in my company and the community I've created. In building a business, I've taken control of my life, regardless of my immigration status.

• Sylvia Kang, 40, is a multimillionaire who lives in the Bay Area.
• Her business success and wealth have strained her relationships with her friends.
• She now focuses on people with shared hobbies, even if she can't share everything with them.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sylvia King, the founder and CEO of Mira. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I founded Mira, a women's hormonal health company, in 2018. The company really took off during COVID-19, and I became a millionaire about three years ago. Today I'm 40, and I'm a multimillionaire.

Despite that, I still live in a three-bedroom house in a middle-class neighborhood with my son and husband. I like to keep a low-profile life. I drive a Tesla Model 3, but that's more about convenience than luxury — self-driving makes my life easier.

Although I try to live modestly, my wealth and business success have had a big impact on my friendships. I used to have lots of close friends who I could talk to about anything. But these days, I don't have any one person who I can share all aspects of my life with.

Friends treat me more formally because of my success

As my wealth and business profile have grown, I've noticed that my friends perceive me differently. People seem to respect me more, which makes them act more formally. We no longer just get together on a whim or grab a bite to eat. Instead, friends feel they need to schedule things well or book a fancy restaurant. Something that should be casual and fun has become an event.

It's not all my friends' fault. It's also harder for me to relate to them because so much of my attention and mental energy is dedicated to my company. My friends and I used to talk about getting promotions, seeking a raise, or dealing with our husbands and kids. I can still vent about my husband and son, but my day-to-day running of a company is very different from my friends who work for someone else.

Some friends want me to be their mentor. That can make things feel one-sided. Other people are genuinely curious about my life. Even then, talking with them is hard because running a business is so complex. I tend to give them a brief update when they ask, then turn the conversation back to them.

I have friends in different areas of my life

I talked with my therapist about this loss of connection. She told me that no one will be able to fulfill all my needs. I won't have that one best friend who understands all facets of my life.

Instead, I have many friends and acquaintances with whom I can share hobbies. I have people I can go on hikes with, or discuss my meditation practice. When I want to talk business, I turn to mentors and acquaintances. Other young-ish entrepreneurs understand aspects of my life that people who haven't started a company wouldn't get.

I could retire, but my work gives me purpose

The more money I make, the less interested I am in spending. I used to be motivated by material things: I thought I had to have the right designer purse or fancy car to show my status. Part of that was because, as an Asian woman who immigrated to the US, I needed to look and act a certain way to attract investors to my business.

Now that I've launched a successful business, I've grown more confident. I know who I am, and I don't feel the need to prove myself to anyone.

So, instead of buying luxury items to show my wealth, I spend only on things that bring me spiritual joy. I love visiting historical sites in Greece and Italy and have a trip to Turkey planned this year. I've hiked in Patagonia and have an excursion to New Zealand coming up.

If I wanted to retire and never work again, I probably could. Yet my work — improving women's health — is what really gives me fulfillment. Once I realized that, reaching financial freedom became less appealing than I had imagined before.

• Brandon Medford started a luxury automotive brokerage firm in 2017.
• Since then, he's built a multimillion-dollar net worth through different businesses.
• He enjoys treating his kids to things like courtside tickets but says underneath he's still frugal.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Brandon Medford, CEO of Brandon Medford Enterprises. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was 22, I was working as the finance director for an automotive dealership. I was bringing home more money in a month than my parents made in a year. My annual income was about $500,000, and I had virtually no expenses because I was still living at home.

And yet, I still ended up broke. I was spending money on partying, travel, and $1,000 dinners. Most of my friends were making $50,000 a year, so I paid for everything when we went out. I wanted to take care of my people.

After three years of that, I had no money in the bank. I realized I needed to change my mindset about money. At the time, I was devastated, but looking back, I learned an important lesson: you should always budget and live below your means.

As my wealth grew, I looked for more frugal role models

I left that job in 2017 to found an automotive brokerage company. It took off quickly, and I started selling luxury vehicles. What set me apart was how I delivered cars. I would deliver cars anywhere, with a big bow and confetti. People wanted to celebrate the milestone of getting their new car, and I made that possible.

The business continued to flourish, especially after 2021, when I founded a loan program that specifically helped entrepreneurs purchase luxury cars. Suddenly I was selling Astin Martins, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, and other luxury cars like they were Hondas.

As I built my wealth, I realized I needed to emulate people who reinvested their money. I know someone who sold a business for $80 million and reinvested $70 million. You'd never know he had $80 million in liquid assets because he lived off the $10 million. I wanted to be like that, not like the fast-spending guy I was in my early 20s.

I want my kids to enjoy the fruits of my labor

I reinvested money in real estate, business investment, and other enterprises. Today, I'm a multimillionaire. I'm also a dad to three kids, ages 7, 5, and 4.

I still consider myself a very frugal person, but I'm not afraid to indulge in what my wealth can offer me. I want my family to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I helped connect my 5-year-old daughter with a modeling gig at New York Fashion Week, and now she goes to birthday parties with Dream Kardashian.

My 7-year-old son and I go to Knicks games and sit courtside, meeting the players. When I was growing up, my dad took me to one Knicks game every year, and we sat way up high. I used to point to the courtside seats and say, "One day, I'm going to sit down there." To be able to do that now with my dad and son is very meaningful.

At the same time, I take the kids to the modest homes of my family members in Queens. They know that not everyone is wealthy because they see it in their own family.

I sometimes revisit the Wendy's I used to work at

When you see someone driving a luxury car, you can react one of two ways. You can say, "Wow, he's flashy." Or, you can say, "I wonder what he's done to be able to afford that." I've always been curious — asking questions like that — and it's helped me build wealth.

Today, I sometimes drive my Ferrari to the Wendy's in Brooklyn where I worked when I was 16-19. I'll go through the drive-thru and tell the person at the window, "This is just the beginning." I want them to know I was where they were 13 years ago. With discipline, they could do the same thing I've done.

• Alexander Weber's parent realized his family had money when they moved into a bigger house.
• However, his parents still gave him a small allowance and taught him financial responsibility.
• That pushed him to work, which impacted his career as an entrepreneur.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Alexander Weber. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Until I was in elementary school, my parents and I lived in a modest apartment. My mom ran her own business, and my dad worked for a major retailer in Germany, where we lived. He was in management, working as a buyer for the whole of Germany. It was an important role, with a solid salary to match. My dad would spend weekdays in another city, visiting us on the weekends. I didn't think much about how much money we had.

Then, we moved to a very large house. Our financial status hadn't changed — my mom and dad had always made substantial money. But suddenly, that was clearer to others, and to me, as a child. Our new house had three stories, a finished basement, and a garage. My parents drove fancy cars like BMWs and Mercedes. That's when I noticed that, compared with my peers, my family was wealthy.

Unfortunately, my dad died when I was 13. However, my mom's business generated a solid income, so she was able to keep our family financially secure, while instilling lessons I still use today.

My parents tied allowance to responsibility

Although we had more material items than many of the people around us, my parents only gave me a very modest allowance. At the time, it was about 25 euros a month, enough to go to the cinema once — twice if I was lucky.

Sometimes I would argue with my mom, pointing out she could afford to give me a larger allowance. But she wouldn't budge. Then, after a few years, my mom offered me a more substantial allowance. If I took it, however, I would be responsible for paying for my needs, in addition to my wants. I would have to budget for clothes and food. At the end of the day, I didn't want that responsibility. I also realized that I might end up with even less discretionary spending money than if I took a more modest allowance.

My small allowance pushed me to work

Since I'd chosen to stick with my modest allowance, I got creative about earning money. I started building websites when I was a teenager and even automated video games to sell in-game currency. Building that entrepreneurial spirit early impacted my career path. As a young adult, I grew my own online companies, focused on helping businesses use social media to increase their sales and online presence. I'm still running those today.

My mom emphasized never having debt

As a teenager, I was exposed to material items, like those flashy cars my parents had, and yearly trips to California. At first, I wanted more of that, but eventually, the novelty wore off. These days, I'm not drawn to luxury or fancy items.

My mom always told me that if you have debt, you give the banks (or credit card companies) control over you. She emphasized that I should always make money before I spend it. I internalized another message: don't buy unnecessary things.

I'm 29 now, but I still live by that rule. I still travel, but it's more likely to be a car or train ride to somewhere else in Europe than a lengthy trip to the US. I really don't buy things for myself. I'll spend it on my business or my girlfriend, but rarely on something I want. When I do, I try to purchase a quality item that will last a long time.

I realized people talked about my wealth

As I got older, I realized people were talking about my family's wealth. California is a big thing to Europeans, and people were impressed that my mom and I spent about a month there every year.

At first I wanted to lean into the status wealth gave me — I even tried my hand at becoming an influencer. But I quickly realized that being flashy made me feel like an imposter. I was being celebrated for something I'd been gifted, not something I earned.

These days, I try to avoid attention. I still live in that big house my parents moved into when I was a child. But it's old now and needs lots of work. I'm looking forward to downsizing, so I can focus on my work and my partner — the things that really give my life purpose.

• Stacey Black opened too many credit cards as soon as she was eligible.
• Getting a job at a credit union helped her realize her financial mistakes.
• She teaches others to save and use credit wisely.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Stacey Black, lead financial educator and Certified Financial Education Instructor at BECU, a Washington and South Carolina credit union. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was about 18, I was at the mall when a store offered me a credit card. I had no clue what it was or how to use it responsibly. Before long, I had a credit card for every major store. I messed up my credit big time.

My parents never taught me about money. Instead, I learned from observing them.

I thought my dad was rich with his stack of credit cards. As I got older, I realized he was probably just in debt. My parents were divorced, and I lived with my mom. She would often talk about her financial worries but still splurge. Having those examples of money management really messed me up financially.

I learned about finances by working at a credit union

Luckily, when I was in my early 20s, I started working as a teller at BECU, a credit union. I didn't even know what a credit union was at the time. But I started seeing the signs that financial responsibility was important.

This wasn't nearly 30 years ago, so there weren't as many financial resources readily available. Luckily, I had access to a whole financial education team at work. I could seek them out and ask questions. That felt very lucky. I didn't know how other people my age were learning about finances since it was never discussed in schools, and most parents I knew didn't discuss it.

My mistakes benefit me as an educator

I still had some bumps in the road. When I went to buy a house in my early 30s, my poor credit came to haunt me. But eventually I got a hold of my finances. A big breakthrough was thinking about periodic expenses — car registration and inspection that aren't recurring monthly expenses but still add up fast. Once I learned about those, I could create a budget that accounted for all my spending.

When I started working at BECU, I was in school to become a teacher. I pivoted to become a financial educator, helping people from all backgrounds learn about money. I also talked with my two children and many foster children about finances. Whether it's my kids or clients, I tell people I can speak to this because I've made all the mistakes.

I tried to lead through actions, not just conversations

Conversations are important, but kids can shut down if they know you're trying to educate them. So, I tried to lead through actions, not just words. When my kids were younger, I'd point out prices like I'd point out colors. Later, I brought them into major financial decisions, like helping me research a car.

I urged kids to track their spending

I've always encouraged my biological and foster children to track their spending. Kids and teens often don't love this, but it gives them a tool to look back on and understand where their money went. Then, they can discuss whether they wish they'd done things differently. It also lets them see their progress toward financial goals.

I gave them a means to make money

I wanted my kids to learn that if they needed money, they could earn it. So, I posted chores with a set dollar amount on the fridge. Someone who needed $10 for a movie could mow the lawn. This approach worked so well that my kids' friends even started coming over when they needed to earn.

I made loans with interest

My financial troubles started with credit cards, which were uncontrolled borrowing. So, when my kids came to ask me for money, I made it a formal arrangement. When my son was in sixth grade, he wanted money to buy a Go-Cart. I had him sign a contract outlining interest payments. He didn't purchase a Go-Cart, but the conversation came in handy when he needed a car a few years later.

I was OK with making mistakes

Lots of parents shy away from money conversations because they feel like they don't have it all figured out. That's OK. I made mistakes and needed to adjust my approach to each child. It's also okay for kids to make mistakes while they have the safety net of living with you.

Finding out what works for your family might take some time and effort, but the effort will be worth it when you send your kids into the world with financial know-how.

• On Fridays in January and February classes end early and kids head outside.
• My first- and fifth-graders look forward to school skiing year-round.
• The program teaches kids important lessons about physical and mental wellness.

My first-grader zipped by me on skis, her "French fries" easily overtaking my skis' cautious "pizza" positioning. Her sister, a fifth grader, was already down the mountain and on the chairlift again, giggling with friends as she went back for another run.

It wasn't vacation or a weekend, but a Friday afternoon at school for the girls during one of their favorite times of the year. For five weeks during January and February their elementary school cancels classes after 11 a.m. on Fridays and brings kids outside — no matter how frigid the air in our rural region of New Hampshire.

When I first heard about the school's Winter Activities program soon after I moved to the district and my oldest started kindergarten, I thought it was a cute, novel idea. Six years later, I'm convinced it's downright brilliant, delivering lessons about health, community building, and nature that go well beyond anything my daughters learn in their classrooms.

Skiing helped us fit it

Growing up outside Boston, I occasionally skied, but the activity was expensive and out-of-reach for a low income family with four kids. When I moved north, skiing felt like a way of life, and I worried that my kids might be left out. We could afford to ski now, but my husband — an Australian — is even less ski savvy than I am.

Luckily, the school stepped in, teaching my girls about a sport that's essentially part of the local culture here in the mountains. The school subsidizes the program, and the PTO provides scholarships to any families that need them. It's an opportunity I wish I had as a kid. That first year, as I watched my older daughter gain confidence on the snow, I knew she'd have no trouble fitting in in our new town.

Getting outside helps with mental health during winter

According to the school, the idea behind winter activities is to keep kids active during the long, dreary New Hampshire winter. For families in this area, it's a critical lifelong skill, when the sun sets at 4 p.m. and temperatures regularly peak in the single digits.

As someone who works from home and could easily not leave the house some days, I know that making an effort to get outside bolsters my own mental health. I volunteer with the program and can confirm that I'm smiling almost constantly on the slopes, even with the stress of managing kids doing a risky sport. Hopefully, learning to be active year round will keep our kids healthy, and maybe even fight seasonal depression.

Downhill skiing is by far the most popular winter activity, but students can also choose cross-country skiing, ice fishing, or ice skating. There are even indoor options like theater or swimming. Each Friday morning, kids on the bus and in the drop-off line are buzzing with excitement, and I'm sure the teachers breathe a sigh of relief knowing they'll be able to expend all that energy.

I point out all the helpers that make this possible

Bringing more than 100 kids skiing is no small feat. The school buses kids to a local resort, but parents need to drive the 30 or so minutes to pick them up. Behind the scenes are chaperones taking time off work to fit kids into rentals and PTO volunteers making sure everyone has their pass.

Once we're outside my kids might high-five their music teacher or their assistant principal who are also on the slopes — and who the kids somehow recognize beneath their ski gear. I make sure my girls don't miss the fact that lots of adults in the community are coming together, pouring time and effort into this tradition. I take a moment to thank them too, because these days I look forward to Friday skiing just as much as my kids do.