• It may be difficult to take your teenager's breakup seriously.
• Journalist Lisa Phillips wrote a book to show parents how to help their heartbroken teens.
• She said you need to validate their feelings and ensure they aren't withdrawing.

When Lisa Phillips' 13-year-old daughter started dating another person, the author and journalist became distressed. She wondered how this relationship — and eventual breakup — would affect her only daughter.

This led Phillips to write the book, "First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak." It's aimed to help parents — like herself — navigate these new treacherous waters.

"Sometimes parents get caught up in what kind of relationship it was, saying, 'Oh, it was just a crush,' or 'Oh, this was just this weird situation. You never really said that you were an official couple. So it's probably good you can move on now,'" Phillips told Business Insider.

While that will be most parents' gut reaction, it isn't the best one. It can be difficult to manage your teen's feelings through this difficult time, but it's not impossible. Here's how.

First, validate your child's feelings

"If the heartbreak is happening, you want to validate it," Philips said, emphasizing that validation is the most important thing a parent can do.

Teens need to hear from their parents that their grief matters and their breakup matters — even if it may seem trivial to you.

Dr. Maria Ashford, a psychologist who has years of experience working with teens, said she sees heartbreak as one of many factors that may be leading to an increase in anxiety and stress.

"Teens, in general, are more hesitant to share these types of vulnerabilities, but especially in an environment where they may be unsure of whether their feelings will be validated or what kind of response they get," Ashford told Business Insider.

By validating their feelings, you're showing your teen you want to be there for them and help them move on with their lives.

Help them take the next steps toward healing

Some heartbroken teens might want to talk about the breakup all the time. Phillips said it's important that your teen doesn't ruminate or stay stuck in negative thoughts about the breakup. Instead, they need the right guidance to get out of this loop.

Phillips recommended saying: "Alright, we've really talked about this a lot. I am worried your brain is getting worn out. Let's think of one problem you can fix now."

You can also ask them if there are other concrete ways to support them. For example, Philips said, helping them deal with how they're going to work at their after-school job if that person is going to be there and coming up with strategies for them to talk to their boss to arrange different shifts.

What if your teen is hesitant to discuss their feelings with you?

Ashford said that if your adolescent isn't talking to you about their feelings, you need to watch for behaviors like avoiding certain activities or social engagements. This may be a sign that they're depressed.

Ashford said to check in with your reticent adolescent and suggested saying: "I know that you just went through something really tough, and when we go through these periods, it's helpful to talk to someone about how we feel. I also know sometimes it can be hard to do that with parents, so I just want to make sure you feel you have someone you trust who you can talk to about these things."

She also suggested you work together to find a therapist if they refuse to talk.

Remember, this is not about you

If you were close to your child's ex, you may have feelings of loss and grief, but you have to find ways of dealing with that on your own.

Phillips also added that this is not the time to discuss your own breakup or your past romantic disappointments.

"Do not bring up your divorce — especially if it's that child's parent," Phillips said. "That's just really not OK. That stirs up all kinds of issues of loyalty."

It's most important to focus on your child at this time and what they need to get through the breakup.

"In this moment, your child needs to feel heard on the [issues] they're dealing with in their life," Phillips added.

• Katrin Kaurov started modeling at 14 and began making money at a very young age.
• She then founded a fintech company, Frich, to help younger generations better handle their money.
• Now that she's a CEO, she relies on her experience as a model when building a brand and pitching.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with former model Katrin Kaurov. At 28, she is now CEO and cofounder of the social finance app Frich. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My cofounder and I received a lot of pushback when we started Frich. She was 22, and I was 24. Everyone thought we couldn't create it because neither of us had a background in finance or had worked in a bank for 20 years. I was a former model.

But we built Frich because most people in their 20s have no clue what to do with their money, and there is such a big lack of transparency. Everything you see on Instagram — like lavish trips and dinners with friends — seems like everyone else has their lives together financially, and you're the only one whose card is getting declined.

We realized that Gen Z craves truth and wants to know what other people around them are doing with their money. That's why I built Frich, a community of 400,000 Gen Zers. Users can anonymously see what people like them are doing with money. Once they see how they compare to others, we give users access to see what tools they are using to get ahead.

It helps that I really understand our audience because I lived this: I was anxious about money as a teen model. Sometimes, coming from a non-traditional background really plays in your favor.

I made a lot of money at a young age as a model

When I was 14, I started working mostly full-time as a model. I was being constantly shipped around and having to be financially independent at 14.

Modeling is a lot like being an athlete. You make your best money when you're really young, and no one teaches you what to do with that money at that age. You get paid in different currencies, and usually, in cash. You never know what to expect next.

I remember one of my first really big paychecks when I was 15, and I had no clue what to do with that money. I got it in cash after a two-month contract. I kept it in my drawer until I realized I could invest it and do better things with it. Learning things like that took a while, and I wish there was someone guiding me along the way.

That eventually led me to start Frich because I realized it's not just models who go through the same process. Students and recent grads go through the same experience — probably 10 years later than models.

I learned how to build a brand while modeling

As a model, there's so much pressure, and you have to know how to sell. Every day when you go to a casting, you've got to look your best, and you've got to find a way to stand out from the other 150 models who are there. Everyone's trying really hard, but only one person gets the job.

Sometimes, an agency will ask you to change your personality, depending on the client — whether you've got to be the "cool girl" or the "fun girl." You're almost acting a role, which is very similar to what I do now with certain investors. When I'm talking to a very serious banking investor, I'm different than when I'm talking to someone who was the founder of Bumble. So, learning how to sell myself as a model was huge for me.

Also, in the later years of my career, social media became really popular. Clients would book models if they saw you're working a lot on Instagram. So you have to keep up the image, and it's very similar to being a founder now; if I don't post about it, then people start to wonder what's going on.

When you brand yourself, it's all about making yourself look exciting. When we first started Frich, we realized that money needs to be exciting and cool.

Ignorance makes you jump all in without fear

When I moved to New York, I already knew I wanted to do something else. One day, I pulled up a Forbes article about the most successful entrepreneurs in New York, and I DMed all of them on Instagram, asking if they wanted to meet me for a coffee. One of them said yes. I built close relationships with other female founders, who then became my mentors, and they introduced me to investors down the line.

We then watched every Y Combinator video on YouTube and learned everything there is to learn about building a startup.

Thinking back, I think ignorance was bliss. We didn't realize how hard it was going to be. We had no money. I quit my job, and my cofounder had just graduated.

We went all in, which, looking back, was objectively insane. But it all worked out.