• Martins Lasmanis, the founder of Supliful, struggles with balancing startup growth and family time.
• Supliful quickly gained traction, and Lasmanis began working 16-hour days with three young kids.
• He now schedules family time and delegates work to manage 'dad guilt' and improve work-life balance.

My youngest son turned 3 this year — the same age as my startup, Supliful. As I watched my toddler playing on his birthday, I felt a strong sense of guilt creep up inside me. He wasn't a baby anymore, and I realized I'd missed out on him growing up.

"They grow up so fast!" is what all parents say. That day, this cliché suddenly felt terrifyingly real. Even worse — it felt as if, over the past three years, I'd spent more time growing my startup than paying attention to my children growing up.

That feeling was torturous

I've always wanted two things in life: a big family and my own business. Family is where I find peace and joy, and I find self-fulfillment in business. I've never been able to sit still and must be in constant motion.

In 2021, when I became a father of three and founder of a newly launched startup, I felt I was on the right path. My life goals were being met. I was nailing it.

While I didn't expect raising three kids and building a company from scratch would be easy, I didn't worry much either. I had already been there — a few years prior, I was running a successful online store while raising two preschoolers. I thought I had the experience necessary to handle the new responsibilities.

I was wrong

I soon realized my new venture had much more potential and was more complex and demanding than anything I had built before.

When I attracted serious interest from VC investors, my company was still in its ideation phase. We onboarded hundreds of users just three weeks after making our product public. By our second year in business, we were already making over $1M in revenue.

Success came with challenges and new responsibilities. I had to quickly grow our team, onboard new partners, and open a new fulfillment center on the other side of the world to ensure quality service to our clients — all while ensuring we didn't run out of money.

I spent my days on back-to-back calls with investors, business partners, and new hires. In the evenings, I sometimes had to help my colleagues pack and send out orders. I'd regularly travel between our office in Europe and the fulfillment center in Denver, feeling guilty for leaving my family behind every time.

My wife was extremely understanding

Throughout our 13 years together, my wife has always supported me. Although she wasn't happy about me staying late in the office or leaving for another business trip, she always encouraged me to pursue my career goals.

Without realizing it, my working days got longer. At one point, I worked 12 hours a day and sometimes as many as 16 hours.

I still tried to be as hands-on as possible with my kids. My wife and I had our own caregiving "shifts" — I covered mornings and after-work, taking the kids to and from school and day care. My wife handled the evening, taking care of dinner and putting the three to bed. We all tried to spend time together between dinner and my late work calls.

Eventually, a dreaded day came

"Daddy, you're working too much." My 7-year-old daughter caught me off guard. We had just finished our dinner one evening in September, and I prepared to disappear into my home office for another round of calls and emails. I responded "I know. I'm trying to build this business, but I should be more present with you."

I realized I was experiencing an enormous feeling of guilt — the feeling of failing as a parent because I wasn't there for my kids. While I saw my tight work schedule as a sprint that would eventually end, my kids only saw me working.

I had heard about "mom guilt," a term often used to describe the feeling women have when they believe they're not meeting their own or others' expectations in their role as parents.

I felt "dad guilt" — the dark side of entrepreneurship and many other demanding jobs requiring long hours. Every day, I feel guilty for not prioritizing my children or failing to build my startup.

I wish I had an easy fix to make this all balance out

I don't have a solution, but I have found a few things that make the weight easier to carry.

I make it a point to schedule family time on my calendar and never cancel it. I treat it as seriously as any work meeting and make a real effort to be present.

I set high standards, but I've had to remind myself that perfection isn't real. Sometimes, I take stock of the good I've done, balancing it against the areas I wish to improve. Reminding myself of these positives helps me feel more at peace with where I am.

I've delegated more work to my team, allowing me to spend more time with my kids this past month. We're moving to the US next year, so that will be another adventure.

Through it all, I'm beyond grateful for my wife. She's my best friend, and her unwavering support allows me to pursue my entrepreneurial dreams.

• Reid Hoffman discussed on "Diary of a CEO" the lack of work-life balance in startup culture.
• He said startups needed to be intense and competitive to achieve success.
• Sacrifices that come with startup work include dinner at the office and working on the weekends.

Reid Hoffman got real about the lack of work-life balance when you're trying to build a company.

The LinkedIn cofounder said during an episode of the "Diary of a CEO" podcast that startup employees shouldn't expect that if they want their business to take off.

"Work-life balance is not the startup game," Hoffman said.

Before it became a large platform for professionals, LinkedIn was a startup. Hoffman said early employees with families were allowed to spend time at home — with the expectation that they'd also be getting work done.

"The people who think it's toxic don't understand the toughness of the startup game, and they're just wrong," Hoffman said.

The nature of building budding companies is intense, he said, and that intensity is necessary at any startup if its workers want it to be a success. That often means working on Saturday mornings and sacrificing time for a personal life.

"We served dinner at the office at PayPal, and that was a deliberate thing," Hoffman, who was a part of the company during its early days, said.

He added that there were only two instances when startup employees could balance their lives and work more evenly: a supersmall startup that doesn't have much competition or a startup where employees have worked hard enough to outpace competitors by a long distance.

Recently, business leaders such as Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky have popularized the term "founder mode" to describe being a present and detail-oriented leader. Chesky previously said that founders go wrong by letting go of their product and delegating tasks instead of getting into the details of their company.

Startup culture may sound toxic, but it's a choice, Hoffman said. He compared it to training to become an elite athlete — swimming only two hours a day probably won't lead you to an Olympic team.

"Choose what your life's about," he said. "No one says you have to do that."

• Rick Steves, 69, says he has some regrets about his career choice because of how it impacted his personal life.
• "It has not been great for relationships with loved ones," Steves told The New York Times.
• In August, the travel writer revealed on social media that he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Travel writer Rick Steves, who was diagnosed with cancer in August, says he has some "regrets" over his choice of career.

"It has not been good for my family. I got divorced. It has not been great for relationships with loved ones," Steves, 69, told The New York Times in an interview published on Saturday.

Looking back on all his time on the road, Steves says he would have enjoyed leading a quiet life like before.

"You know, I would love to be the person I was before I was a travel writer. I would have had a very, very beautiful life being a piano teacher and coming home every night for dinner and mowing the lawn and joining clubs and being regular and reliable," he said. "But I've chosen a different path. It's a mission for me."

While he is sad about how some things in his personal life have turned out, his priorities "are the way they are."

"It's almost a calling from a pastoral sense or something. This is why God put me here. It gives me energy. It's like breathing straight oxygen. And I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but it fits me," he added.

In August, Steves shared on social media that he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and would be undergoing prostate surgery.

In light of his diagnosis, Steves also shared that he has thought about what his life would be like when the day he can no longer travel — either because of age or sickness — comes.

"I would welcome the day, strangely, when I could not travel anymore, because it would open a gate of things that I've not done because of my love for travel," Steves said. "I've got a great piano sitting here. I don't play it enough. I've got a cabin in the mountains. I've got an amazing girlfriend. I've got a wonderful son and daughter and a grandson."

Even if he couldn't do his work anymore, he says he doesn't think he'll "miss a beat."

"This world is such a beautiful place to experience, and there are dimensions of experiencing this world that I have yet to try," he added.

A representative for Steves told Business Insider that the writer has no further comments.

Steves isn't alone in his struggles to balance professional commitments and personal life.

Well-being experts Clare Davenport and Elizabeth Koehler shared in an essay that "juggling work, family, and distractions is like a circus act with no intermission."

But instead of dividing work time and personal time "into neat, equal slices," it may be more beneficial to think of it as finding the right "work-life rhythm," psychologist Veronica West told Business Insider previously. This work-life rhythm mindset is not based on counting hours but a "feeling that both work and life energize rather than drain you," she said.

Work psychologists Tina Armasu and Eleni Giannakoudi told BI previously that to avoid burnout at work, it's important to minimize talking about work outside the office and dedicate some free time to doing things for fun instead of only completing what you feel obligated to.

"Once you become very aware of the different areas of your life and their priority, then it's easier to use this as a compass, basically, to plan your week, plan your days, and make decisions," Giannakoudi said.

• Ryan Reynolds opened up about the future of "Deadpool."
• He explained that producing the Marvel action-comedy "swallows" his "whole life."
• He added that he didn't want to miss out on spending time with his 4 kids, whom he shares with Blake Lively.

Ryan Reynolds is feeling the dad guilt.

On today's episode of Variety's "Actors on Actors" with Andrew Garfield, the actor opened up about balancing work and parenting.

When Garfield asked Reynolds what the future of "Deadpool" looks like, Reynolds said he didn't know. "My feeling is that that character works very well in two ways: one is scarcity and surprise."

"Deadpool & Wolverine" was released in July, six years after "Deadpool 2." "Deadpool" was first released in 2016.

Part of the reason for the six-year gap after "Deadpool 2" was because it "swallows" his "whole life," said Reynolds, who played the title character and was a producer and writer on the show.

"You can't take your hand off the stick all the way through development, through post-production, into marketing and promo," he said.

Reynolds has four kids, whom he shares with Blake Lively.

"I don't ever want to be on a first-name basis with any of them. No, I don't ever want to be absentee, and I don't ever want to miss stuff," he said. "I, like, kind of die inside when I see their face, and they have a competition or sports thing or something, and I missed it."

In August, Lively shared a similar sentiment on balancing work and family.

"When you're working, sometimes you feel guilty for, you know, not being in your personal life in those hours you're at work," Lively told Entertainment Tonight. "And then when you're at work, you feel guilty by being distracted by wishing that you were at your personal life," she said.

In February, the "It Ends With Us" actor said that she and Reynolds agreed "not to work at the same time" when they started dating.

Juggling work and family is "like a circus act with no intermission," well-being experts previously told Business Insider.

Veronica West, a psychologist and the founder of "My Thriving Mind," said that instead of dividing work and personal time into "neat, equal slices," she said that a better way is to think about it as "work-life rhythm."

"The trick is learning how to balance energy, not just time, so you're surviving and enjoying each part of your day," she said.

A representative for Reynolds did not immediately respond to a request for comment from BI sent outside regular business hours.

• Brandon Chia and his wife felt like they didn't have enough time for their newborn in Singapore.
• They are both nurses and when they came across a job opportunity in New Zealand, Chia applied.
• Since moving, their quality of life has improved, Chia said.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Brandon Chia, 31, a nurse in the South Island of New Zealand. Chia moved from Singapore to New Zealand in 2022. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

In 2022, my wife and I had our first baby. We were juggling the demands of parenthood while working as ICU nurses in Singapore.

After 16 weeks of paid maternity leave — the standard amount for Singaporean mothers — my wife, Jiar Lin, and I started working alternate shifts to care for our newborn daughter.

I worked the morning shift, and she worked the afternoon. We would hand our baby over to each other and go out to earn money.

When our daughter was about to turn one, we realized we weren't spending enough time with her. We were always exhausted from work and didn't have time to enjoy time together as a family.

So, we thought, what other options can we consider? Quitting our jobs wasn't possible because the cost of living in Singapore was high.

At that time, we noticed many job advertisements on social media from Australia and New Zealand that were looking for ICU-trained nurses. My wife said, "Just apply and see how it goes." So, I did.

Within two weeks, I heard from the hospital. Two hours after my interview, I received a job offer. It all happened so fast. I remember thinking, "OK, this is getting real." My wife and I had a chat and then decided we'd give it a go.

Initially, our parents didn't want us to go. The flight from Singapore to New Zealand takes almost 10 hours. But we told them not to feel like we were abandoning them. Rather, it was a way for us to have more time for our daughter.

At the time, my parents were full-time caregivers for my late grandfather, while my wife's parents lived in another city. We knew we didn't want to ask them to look after our daughter on a permanent basis.

Our quality of life increased

In October 2022 — around four months after receiving the job offer — I moved to the West Coast of the South Island in New Zealand, a three-hour drive from Christchurch. My wife and daughter joined me seven months later once things had settled down.

The South Island feels like the countryside. There are no shopping centers near our house, and many people grow their own fruit and vegetables. We live in a nice community where people and colleagues often share their produce. I also started to learn gardening and now grow tomatoes in our backyard.

From the beginning, I noticed a big difference in the work culture. The environment is less stressful, and there's a lot of emphasis on not bringing work back home.

The shift patterns here are more regular. In one week, for example, I'll work the afternoon shift for three, and then the next week, I'll work a stretch of night shifts. In comparison, at my previous job, I sometimes worked a morning shift the day after completing an afternoon shift.

In New Zealand, my wife is able to stay home to care for both our daughter, who is now 3, and our 9-month-old son, who was born here. She says it's a privilege to be able to spend time with the kids in their formative years — that's the reason we moved to New Zealand. She plans to return to work on a part-time basis to keep her nursing skills up to date in the future.

My annual income increased by around 15% in New Zealand. However, income tax rates can go as high as 30%. In comparison, the national income tax in Singapore is 11.5% for salaries between SG$80,001 and SG$120,000, and lower for those earning less.

Although I make less overall after taxes, I get more cash on hand compared to Singapore. There's more flexibility because I don't have to contribute to the Central Provident Fund, a compulsory savings account in Singapore comparable in some ways to a 401(k) in the US. In Singapore, the account is mandatory and run by the government.

I also get more annual leave in New Zealand — around 25 days in total.

We get to spend more time together as a family

With more spare time, we get to take short monthly family vacations. Sometimes, we drive north to hot springs, down south to explore the rainforest, or to Christchurch to eat the Chinese food we miss.

In New Zealand, we can afford to have a car. Our decent secondhand Toyota was around $7,500. In comparison, a car in Singapore can cost more than $100,000. It's much more convenient than taking buses and trains everywhere.

The drawback is that we no longer have support from family members. We've made friends since moving here — most of whom we've connected with through our Instagram page. So, if we need help, we'll reach out to them. But of course, it's always a lot easier to reach out to family for help.

Raising kids in a less stressful environment

When I was in school as a kid in Singapore, there was a huge emphasis on doing well academically. Even when I was working as a nurse, I remember my colleagues getting together during lunch break to discuss national exam papers and the tutors they needed for their own children. I didn't even have kids then and was already aware of the stress it could cause.

In comparison, the focus here is more on character-building, outdoor adventure, and being close to nature. Hopefully, our children can pursue whatever dreams they want.

We rent a two-bedroom house in New Zealand for 340 New Zealand dollars, or around $200 a week. We've received our New Zealand residency, and our next goal is to buy a house.

Our plan for now is to stay in New Zealand and take trips home regularly to visit family.

• Many parents struggle with putting their smartphones down and paying full attention to their kids.
• Glassdoor CEO Christian Sutherland-Wong told CNBC that he stays offline around his children.
• He only works in his home office, going in there for emergency calls or after his kids go to bed.

Teens aren't the only ones who are heavily enticed by smartphones; plenty of parents struggle to put their devices down, too.

A 2024 Pew Research Center report found that 46% of teens said their parents are "at least sometimes distracted by their phone" when they try to talk to them.

That's why Glassdoor CEO Christian Sutherland-Wong has a simple rule at home: he doesn't answer texts or emails in front of his kids.

"I want to lead by not having digital products all around," Sutherland-Wong, 44, said in a CNBC interview. He said he doesn't want to be "distracted by my email and text messages all the time" and gives his kids his undivided attention.

He stays offline when he's around his kids

Smartphones aren't just magnetizing because of work emails and apps like Slack; parents often use phones for everything from scheduling playdates to managing extracurriculars.

To reduce his chances of getting sucked into his phone, Sutherland-Wong gets fully offline when he spends time with his kids. He works remotely from his home office, which makes it easier to pick up on work once the kids are asleep.

Otherwise, he makes it a point "to be there when my kids come home from school, to be able to get offline, spend quality time with them, put them to bed, and then get back online."

He models clear boundaries around work

Not all work emergencies happen between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. To create "space" between his role as a father and as a CEO, Sutherland-Wong returns to his home office when an urgent work task arises.

He feels his kids "pick up on" how he takes work calls. Privately firing off emails not only helps him maintain a work-life balance as a father but also models healthier habits around technology for his kids.

• Keira Knightley says she had to step back from her career because she chose to have kids.
• "I've been really surprised in the past few years about what I've said no to," Knightley told The Times.
• Working women across industries are often forced to choose between their careers and having children.

Keira Knightley, 39, chose to prioritize motherhood over her career.

In an interview with The Times published on Saturday, Knightley spoke about her decision to have children and the impact it had on her career decisions.

"I couldn't go job to job [abroad] now. It wouldn't be in any way fair on them, and I wouldn't want to," Knightley told The Times. "I've chosen to have children, I want to bring them up, so I've had to take a major step back."

The "Pride and Prejudice" actor has two daughters — Edie, 9, and Delilah, 5 — with her husband, musician James Righton.

Not only does Knightley now prefer roles that will allow her daughters to stay settled in school, but she's also looking for roles that aren't too emotionally taxing.

"I've been really surprised in the past few years about what I've said no to. I've wanted it to be more pure entertainment and maybe that's because I've needed that," she said. "I keep being offered things about children dying or about mothers dying. Can't do it."

Even though the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies made her a household name, Knightley says she doesn't want to appear in a franchise again.

"The hours are insane. It's years of your life, you have no control over where you're filming, how long you're filming, what you're filming," she said.

Knightley says she's also open to producing or directing a film, or even switching industries, although it won't happen while her daughters are still young.

"The world is an interesting place and there are other things in it I'd like to discover. I'm aware I've been doing the same thing for a very, very long time," she said.

The actor was 16 when she starred in "Bend It Like Beckham."

Knightley isn't the only celebrity who has spoken up about juggling motherhood and their careers.

In August, Blake Lively said she experiences mom guilt whenever she has to choose work over her family.

"When you're working, sometimes you feel guilty for, you know, not being in your personal life in those hours you're at work," Lively said. "And then when you're at work, you feel guilty by being distracted by wishing that you were at your personal life."

In March, Whoopi Goldberg explained on an episode of "The View" why she prioritized her career over her child.

"My kid came before my career, and I chose my career because I knew this would never happen again," Goldberg said. "She didn't always like it, but that is the process of being a parent. They're not supposed to like everything you do."

However, Hollywood moms are not the only ones who face this dilemma; working women across industries are often forced to choose between their careers and having children.

Part of it is due to the "motherhood penalty" — the pay gap that women experience when they become mothers, according to Claudia Goldin, a Nobel Prize-winning Harvard professor.

Her 16-year-long study found that female MBA graduates who have children are more likely to have less job experience, more interruptions to their careers, and earnings decline — something that their male counterparts do not experience.

A representative for Knightley did not immediately respond to a request for comment sent outside regular business hours.