• I hadn't planned on becoming a midlife solo traveler — it was a byproduct of my divorce.
• Now, I love solo travel and have seen more than 20 countries by myself.
• I've learned to book guided day trips and small group tours and to dine with a book or journal.

The Thanksgiving after my 20-year marriage imploded, I flew solo to Brussels.

I'd never traveled alone, but the thought of facing the holiday without my family gutted me, so I booked a plane ticket.

The trip was transformative. Since then, I've traveled solo to 21 countries, and each trip has made me stronger.

Now, my favorite way to travel is by myself. Flying off into the world alone, the choices are all mine — where I go, what I see, how I eat, where I stay.

Here are some of the best solo travel tips I've learned along the way.

Start where you are.

If you haven't traveled extensively, choose a destination at least somewhat close to home (or somewhere you're comfortable driving to) for your first trip alone. It can help travel feel less intimidating and more manageable.

One of my early solo trips was to Canada's Prince Edward Island. I drove from my home in New Jersey and ferried back to Maine from Nova Scotia.

I toured every "Anne of Green Gables" filming site on PEI and loved having my car so I could travel at my own pace.

Small group tours mix social opportunities with alone time.

Group tours can be really helpful if you want a break from traveling alone or feel intimidated when planning a trip in a place where you don't speak the language.

Although some tours can be huge and generic, I prefer ones with small groups (a maximum of about 12 people) that are geared toward niche interests such as photography or wellness.

I like that guides handle the planning logistics, and the tours come with readymade travel companions.

I've traveled with small group tours through Vietnam, Cambodia, Bolivia, Romania, and Laos, paying a small single supplement so I can have my own room. This gives me a perfect mix of social and alone time.

Guided day trips with locals can help take you off the beaten path.

In my opinion, tours with local guides are some of the best ways to have a personalized, less-touristy experience in a new place.

I had an incredible guide in Cappadocia, Turkey, who modified his original itinerary as I shared my interests.

I love history and nature, so he added remote hikes and hidden ruins. He even took me to his childhood home, an ancient cave house he was renovating into a hotel.

By the end of the trip, I considered him a friend.

Food tours and cooking classes can help you dive into local markets and cultures.

I book a food tour or a cooking class on every trip.

My favorites incorporate a stop at a local market to select ingredients and/or explain culinary heritage.

Food tours are generally on foot, which can help me orient myself and learn to navigate a new city. These are also especially great to book when I worry about jetlag and want to stay awake after an overnight flight.

One of my favorite food tours was in Krakow, Poland, where the guide began with a typical "happy hour" and ended with what his grandmother would serve for Christmas dinner. It felt like a brilliant glimpse of real life in Krakow.

I've found ways to find solitude while also being near others when it comes to outdoor adventures, too.

If you're looking to explore nature by yourself but are a bit worried about doing so alone, consider booking transportation to and from a hike.

For example, I wanted to hike the Samaria Gorge in Crete but was worried about doing a 10-mile solo hike on slippery river rock.

So, I booked a bare-bones tour that included transportation to and from the Gorge. Although I was alone, I had the comfort of knowing there were other hikers nearby (who had also been dropped off) in the case of an emergency.

I hiked for four and a half hours, stopping to take photos, fill my water bottle, have a snack, or explore a beautiful natural pool — all at my own pace.

If having dinner alone intimidates you, bring a book or travel journal.

The stress of dining alone was a hindrance for me when I began my solo travels. Now, I view it as an opportunity to catch up in my travel journal while I sample exactly the type of meal I'm in the mood for.

In my experience, servers can be particularly attentive to solo diners — and many have given me excellent meal suggestions.

Eating alone often invites conversation, and I often find myself chatting more than I would if I had a companion.

Taking photos of others yields reciprocity on your solo trips.

Don't forget to include yourself in your travel photos.

If you are hesitant to travel with a tripod or selfie stick, try connecting with others.

When I offer to take a photo of someone, they generally offer to take mine in return. Some of my best photos have come from handing my phone to a stranger.

• My parents recently moved to a retirement community, and my daughter is moving home after college.
• As a member of the "sandwich generation," I'm making sure to prioritize myself, too.
• I'm embracing travel, writing, and fitness while planning for an adventurous retirement.

At 56, I'm a member of the "sandwich generation," the aptly named in-between time when family ties are both fleeting and consuming. My parents recently moved into a retirement community and in a few months, my daughter will graduate from college and move home with me as she looks for a job. My familial responsibilities are in full swing as I define my own middle age, which looks nothing like I'd expected.

It started with my divorce

The midlife demise of my 20-year marriage sent me reeling to reconstruct a life I'd thought was already built. I'm now a working single mom and, though my child is grown, she still relies on me financially (and, more than she deigns to admit, emotionally).

It's a heady time — one of anticipatory grief and deep gratitude, mucking through nostalgia for bygone eras, while looking ahead to a solitary future. Watching my daughter make her way in the world as my mom's chapters come to a close is a poignant reminder to fulfill the dreams that still lie before me.

I'm important, too

I often felt like I was held captive by the day-to-day tasks on my own calendar, as well as my duties supporting my parents and child. Now more than ever, I'm prioritizing activities that bring me joy.

For the past couple of years, I've enrolled in travel writing classes (both virtual and in-person), traveling for workshops in Nepal, Mexico, San Francisco, and Paris. I love bringing my trips to life through stories. Though writing has been something I've always enjoyed, I'm now honing my craft. The deep friendships I've made in my writing community have been an unexpected bonus.

I'm also learning to paint. I've never considered myself an artist, but the tactile meditation of brush on paper has brought unexpected joy as I paint the landscapes and buildings I've seen on my travels.

I've developed a passion for shelling (my mom calls it an obsession and she's not wrong). My parents live on the west coast of Florida, a few miles from the water, and I visit frequently. Each morning, I head off before sunrise, reaching the beach as the sun's early rays turn the sky to cotton candy. I've learned all the names — lightning whelk, Florida fighting conch and, my favorite, the banded tulip. My collection sits in jars and bowls in my New Jersey home, reminding me of my visits with my parents.

I'm also studying French, brushing up on the language I learned in high school and college. While not yet fluent, I can read signs and menus and engage in basic conversation with French-speakers on my travels. I plan to add Spanish classes, next.

I'm thinking big for myself

With retirement looming, I have plans for longer, more adventurous travel such as camping in Africa, spending a month in India, hiking Spain's Camino de Santiago. There's nothing like lugging water, clutching the supports in lurching rickshaws, and trudging on ancient cobblestones to remind me of the need for physical strength and balance. In her career, my mom was a gym teacher who biked, ran and played tennis in her spare time. Now, she has difficulty walking. Seeing her decline reminds me to maintain the strength required to lift my suitcase into the overhead compartment. To combat this, I try to grab a quick 20 minutes on the treadmill and a 10-minute arm workout after a long day at the office.

This life stage looks nothing like I'd imagined it would, yet I'm thriving as I savor time with my parents and my daughter, while still making time for myself and my future. Striking a balance that meets everyone's needs, my sandwich years are turning out to be the best years of my life.

• After 20 years, my husband blindsided me and said he wanted a divorce.
• Facing a future I never imagined, I booked a solo trip to Belgium, which ignited a new love of travel.
• Since then, I've traveled to 21 countries, embracing new adventures and discovering new joys.

"My soul is deeply unhappy. I want a divorce." He said abruptly, with no softening of the hammer he'd just dropped.

My husband of nearly 20 years dumped me unceremoniously on an otherwise unremarkable Friday evening in January. We'd spent the day together, running errands and sharing fries at lunch. Sitting down to dinner in our dining room, I'd asked if he was okay. He'd been distant lately, but I hadn't seen this coming.

The day after he left, I was on my friend's couch sobbing until I couldn't breathe, while she rubbed my back. "What do you want your next chapter to look like?" She asked.

I didn't know what kind of music I liked, let alone how to rewrite a life whose chapters had long been written. For years, I'd let my daughter or husband choose the soundtrack while I rode along, abandoning myself to the roles of wife and mother. When we divorced, I didn't just lose my marriage, my co-parent, my "person," I lost the roadmap to the future we'd planned so diligently, together.

"I don't know," I told my friend. "I think I want to travel." But I'd never traveled alone, and I didn't know if I was brave enough to do it as a 50 year old single woman.

The timing was actually right

The divorce came at personal trifecta: I had no job, my daughter's enrollment in boarding school left barren the nest I'd feathered, and I was turning 50. Soon after, I returned to the workforce as a school administrator. My job anchored me.

With Thanksgiving approaching, I faced five and a half days alone, as my soon-to-be ex-husband had our daughter for the holiday. Hands shaking, I booked a plane ticket. My destination criteria: flight time under eight hours and $700 and a country I hadn't visited. I flew to Belgium.

In Brussels, I wandered cobblestone streets bedecked with hanging greens and Christmas lights, watching as workers erected a huge tree at La Grand-Place. I sampled buttery chocolate from artisanal shops and salty frites from stands whose windows opened to the street. I daytripped to Bruges and took a self-guided walking tour along the charming canals. As I wandered, a veil of contentment draped itself over the ache of this lonely holiday.

A new year, a new adventure

The following Thanksgiving, alone again and with the same criteria, I traveled to Portugal. On a food tour, I sampled savory salt cod mixed with mashed potatoes; creamy, custardy, pasteis de nada tarts; and ginjinha, a sour cherry liqueur infused with cinnamon. I took trains to the Seussical-like Pena Palace in Sintra, and to Porto, where I learned how port wine was made. Navigating train schedules and solo dining slowly flexed a growing travel muscle.

Traveling made me feel empowered

Over time, I grew braver, traveling further afield, eventually finding myself in Kathmandu, Nepal for a writing workshop. There, among marigold leis and prayer beads, I met a community of creatives who became close friends. As we walked in meditation around the watchful eyes of Boudhanath Stupa, in step with the Tibetan Buddhists who held it sacred, I felt at peace for the first time since the breakup.

In the six years since my husband left me, I've traveled to 21 countries and my 50s look nothing like I'd imagined they would. I've bathed in thermal baths in Budapest, floated down the Mekong River in Laos, hot-air ballooned above the otherworldly landscape of Cappadocia and foraged for cloudberries in Finland. I've found my footing in the world, choosing adventures he wouldn't have favored. I'm grateful for my divorce. From the wreckage, arose a life more robust and fulfilling than I'd ever dreamed possible.