• My preteen feels left out because he's one of the few kids in his class without a cellphone.
• My husband and I are concerned he lacks the impulse control for a phone or smartwatch.
• We decided against getting him one for now, but will keep an open conversation about the topic.

My 12-year-old feels left out at school because he's not in a group chat with his classmates. He says he's one of the only kids in his class without a phone or smartwatch. At first, I was surprised, but Common Sense Media reported that 71% of 12-year-olds had their own smartphone as of 2021.

I don't want my son to feel left out. However, he already owns a Nintendo Switch, a Kindle, and an iPad. Even with strict screen usage limits, his access to the digital world feels robust enough for his age.

At the kitchen table a few nights ago, my son wrote a persuasive essay about why he should be permitted a smartwatch or a phone. It was well-researched, including this zinger: "I only need to use it when I go out with friends, so you don't worry about me. I can leave it on the charger when I'm at home."

It sounds innocent enough — a tool that will keep him in contact with us when he isn't home. However, I doubt the device will live on the charger. I've heard from other parents whose preteens are in the school group chat, that the messages come in fast succession and often at odd hours. With access, my son will likely obsess over the influx of messages, making his emotional attachments to friends even more complex.

I worry about the consequences of getting him a phone

For preteens, a phone or other tech device often has more consequences than only staying connected, Dr. Kyra Bobinet, a physician and behavioral expert, told Business Insider. Because the prefrontal cortex, which manages impulse control and decision-making, is still developing, "introducing phones too early may overwhelm a preteen with constant notifications and endless online options, making it harder for them to self-regulate," she said. These distractions can make it hard for them to form boundaries around screens.

Our preteen already melts down when his timer rings to turn off his devices, and he sometimes attempts to sneak more screen time. In my experience, he lacks the impulse control and self-constraint for a cellphone or smartwatch.

Dr. Zishan Khan, a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, said that because preteens (children between ages 9 and 12) are in critical stages of emotional and cognitive development, devices can expose them to adult content, peer pressure, and social media dynamics they aren't ready for.

Excessive screen time can impair their ability to focus. He added that it can also contribute to sleep disruption and interfere with their development of healthy coping strategies and positive social skills. Khan also said that preteen phone usage comes with other risks, such as cyberbullying and privacy and safety concerns.

"They may not fully understand the implications of oversharing on the internet, whether through text, photos, or geolocation features," he said. "It never ceases to amaze me how many times a very intelligent, well-meaning, and genuinely innocent child is coerced into doing things totally out of character, even being convinced to share inappropriate pictures.

My preteen is more tech-savvy than I am. Even if we give him a phone with boundaries, it's possible he'd outsmart our restrictions.

While we decided against it, we're keeping open communication about the issue

My husband and I took a few simple steps immediately following our son's request. We communicated with our son why we don't feel he's ready for a phone or smartwatch, including a conversation about his current behavior patterns.

We told him that we don't know when he'll get a device, and we also assured him that when we do get him a phone or smartwatch, we'll need to enforce healthy boundaries and restrictions. In the meantime, we offered him a compromise. He can use our phones to text friends until the time comes to get him his own device. We also promised to schedule intentional time with friends outside school so he doesn't feel as left out.

Although my preteen isn't happy with the decision, my husband and I strive for open, honest dialogue at home. I hope this will create bridges in our relationship instead of building walls because, like all well-meaning parents, we want to enter the teenage years with a strong relationship.

• A small house can feel cluttered easily with my big family.
• That's why it's important to follow a decluttering routine, including a nightly family clean-up.
• We also do seasonal closet purges and keep surfaces clear to avoid visual clutter.

My spouse and I have three children, ages 1, 7, and 12. With a family of five, our mid-century house often feels cramped and cluttered. But the prices of homes are astronomical where we live, and I refuse to take on a higher mortgage.

Over the years, I've noticed the more closely I follow a decluttering regimen, our home feels roomier and more presentable. Although I don't have a natural gift for organizing, following these simple steps keeps our house from becoming an untidy wasteland.

We're constantly going through what we own

The first decluttering rule I follow is to donate or toss items regularly. Ideally, once a month, I comb through my children's rooms looking for broken or unused toys, miscellaneous cheap party favors, and trinkets.

I then designate a box for a local thrift shop and throw out the rest. Typically, I ask my children's permission first, but sometimes, if things are out of control, I remove toys and ask for forgiveness later. Mostly, my children never even notice the missing objects.

Reorganizing spaces can help give a different perspective

Sometimes, the most straightforward step to decluttering is reorganizing a space that has received too much love lately.

One such place that often needs attention is our craft closet. Even 15-20 minutes of reorganizing craft supplies rejuvenates and tidies this space.

Commit to seasonal closet purges

Each new season presents an opportunity to sort through my children's clothes and eliminate what no longer fits them.

Once I've made a pile, I separate it into three bins: what I can consign at local shops, donate to other families, or turn into rags for outdoor cleaning or chores.

This allows me to keep the appropriate-size clothing in my children's closets and feel good that their discards stay out of landfills. The same method can be implemented with toys or adult closets, too.

Tidying up as a family each night helps keep common-use spaces tidy

When children don't know how to take initiative for their things, the responsibility of cleaning is solely on the caretakers.

This ritual can use a little structure and focus, so last year, I started setting a timer for 15 minutes each night and asked my two older children to use their eyes to look for things out of place and put them away. Sometimes, I assign them certain spaces to clean, such as the kitchen counter, living room rug, or entryway.

One of the most important rules is that they help pick up others' things, not just their own, because we are a family, and it's our job to care for one another. With practice, they've gotten more helpful.

Get rid of something whenever you buy something new

Try what we call "the Amazon box trick." Consider trading out something else whenever you buy something new for your family. This is the mindset: something comes in, something goes out.

I've heard some people do this with every Amazon box arriving at their doorstep, hence the name.

I talked to a few organizing pros for extra tips

While my organizing routine has worked well for my family over the last decade, I always want to make the process easier. I chatted with a few organizing experts to find additional decluttering tips to incorporate into my regimen.

Assign everyone their own laundry day

Matt Paxton, a featured cleaner on "Hoarders" for 15 seasons, shared a few of his key decluttering strategies.

Paxton, who is also the author of "Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life," has a big family, too. He said, "We stop doing our kids' laundry at age 12, and they are each assigned a day." He believes kids need to learn how to do their own laundry and told Business Insider that having a scheduled day eliminates traffic in the laundry room.

Use storage to clear off cluttered surfaces

"Tinier spaces are apt to feel cluttered if tabletop surfaces are filled with papers, dishes, magazines, electronic gear, etc.," Barbara Brock, founder of Barbara Brock Inc., a professional organizing and staging company based in New York City, said. She explained having too many items left out can be visually distracting.

For example, my kitchen island is often the dumping ground for miscellaneous things. When it's cleaned off, our whole house feels fresher. Brock suggested using drawers, cubbies, and under-the-bed storage to find a place for everything. This will help achieve a tidier, more streamlined feel.

And don't overlook your walls. Vertical shelves hung on the wall have untapped storage potential, Brock said. They can hold cubbies that otherwise consume floor space and help create not only a place to stow things like toys, shoes, and backpacks but also a sense of visual order in the home.

Although I don't have the "organizing gene," it's possible to thrive in small spaces with practice if we set aside time regularly to declutter and clean following these tips.