• I'm used to being in relationships where my partner is the breadwinner.
• However, when my partner and I moved back to Canada, I became the sole earner in our relationship.
• Being the breadwinner made me proud of myself, even though it came with a few challenges.

For most of my adult life, I've been in heteronormative relationships where my partner was the breadwinner. My career path has been somewhat unconventional, as I worked in various fashion sales and merchandising roles before getting into freelance writing. I've worked full-time, part-time, and a blend of both alongside freelancing — meaning my income hasn't always experienced linear growth.

My husband, on the other hand, spent most of his 20s and early 30s climbing the corporate ladder. He had a higher and more stable salary than I did for the first five years of our relationship — until we decided to move back to Canada last year, and the roles were reversed.

I became the breadwinner when we moved

We originally met in Canada, where he took a brief pause from his corporate management job to travel the country on a working-holiday visa. Upon returning to the UK, his homeland, he went back to his job, and I eventually joined him on my own working-holiday visa. We spent four years living in the UK together but ultimately decided we wanted to live in Canada.

The immigration route we took meant he would have to leave his job, and that he wouldn't be able to work for up to a year while we waited for his permanent residency to come through. It was up to me to be the sole breadwinner for the first time in our relationship. As a Canadian citizen, I was able to work from the get-go. It wasn't a decision we made lightly, but we had a safety net of savings and calculated that my freelance income would be enough to cover our bases and live comfortably.

I felt proud, but there were challenges, too

Being the breadwinner was simultaneously challenging and empowering. On the one hand, I felt proud knowing I could support my family all on my own after years of always being the one who earned less. But living on a single income isn't easy in this economy. We weren't saving much, and though we didn't have to make too many sacrifices in our daily lives, we held back on bigger-ticket non-essential items that we normally love, like travel and concerts.

It also gave me a new perspective about finances and ultimately brought us closer together. We always used to split our finances, but after the move, we created a shared account — my husband couldn't create his own while he was in immigration limbo. I used to be hesitant about joint accounts. I worried about having petty arguments over purchases we didn't agree on, and maintaining a sense of independence was important to me.

Fortunately, we've found having one account keeps us both accountable for our spending habits. My husband has admitted he's reined in on casual purchases compared to when we had separate accounts, and I'm also more careful about what I buy. Plus, it's nice to see all our earnings in one place. It makes me feel like we're more unified.

We now earn about the same amount again

My husband has since received his permanent residency and found a new job here in Canada. We're now earning a similar amount and still share an account. I'll be honest — it's a relief not to be the sole earner anymore. Still, I'm grateful for everything I learned during my time as the breadwinner.

I feel more confident in my own earning capabilities, and I feel that my husband and I have become more equal as partners since we've both had the opportunity to step up and provide. We went through a period that often makes or breaks a couple, and I'm thrilled to say it only made us stronger.

• My husband and I had an unconventional engagement and wedding.
• We did most wedding traditions in reverse — or not at all.
• I proposed to him, and we got my engagement ring after we got married.

My husband and I did pretty much every wedding tradition in reverse when we got married three years ago.

Though the low-key proposal came first, I got my engagement ring and had my bachelorette party after the wedding. We also did several things that went against Western wedding norms during the process: we had a simple registry office wedding where we walked down the aisle together, I kept my last name, and I opted for colored gemstones over diamonds in my ring.

Some of these decisions were circumstantial. We got married during the peak of the pandemic, so we couldn't have had a big celebration even if we wanted to. Others were based on our personal preferences. I've never considered myself a traditional person, and I knew I wanted to do things that felt right for me when it came to marriage.

I proposed to him and decided to keep my last name

Technically, I was the one that proposed. We're an international couple, which means immigration law dictates our ability to be together physically. I had moved to the UK (where my husband is from) on a two-year working holiday visa, but I knew I'd eventually need another visa for us to stay together long-term.

I didn't want to accrue student loan debt with a student visa and wasn't eligible for a work visa, making a family visa my only option. We hadn't been living together long enough to qualify for the unmarried partner visa, so I asked my then-boyfriend if he would consider marrying me. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, so we decided to go for it.

For me, the most important thing was us being together, which is why I was perfectly happy with our quiet COVID-era wedding. I'd never dreamt of having a big, traditional wedding; I'm an introvert who struggles with party planning. We decided to walk down the aisle together because we liked the idea of entering our marriage as equal partners — a practice I've since learned is standard in Sweden and other Nordic countries.

I also decided to keep my last name following the wedding. I didn't want to deal with the logistics of changing a name in two countries in addition to visa paperwork, and I wanted to keep the name that reflected my heritage. My husband fully supported my decision.

My ring and bachelorette party came after the wedding

We also chose my engagement ring later because we were focused on securing a wedding date during the pandemic, which was no small feat. Once things were settled, my husband encouraged me to choose the design I'd want to wear for the rest of my life. I've always preferred colored and iridescent gemstones to diamonds, so I selected a ring featuring our two birthstones: opal (mine) and emerald (his).

The ring arrived on the day of my bachelorette party, which my friends hosted for me once COVID restrictions slightly eased. It felt funny to do things in reverse, but as the wedding taught me — the most important thing is simply being with the people you love.

We have spoken about having a bigger celebration, but we know it would be extremely difficult to plan with our family and friends living all across the globe. I won't be upset if it never happens, because it won't take away from our love for each other. When I think about our wedding day, I love that it was so intimate and relaxed. It felt like the perfect reflection of our relationship. My only regret? Not finding a way to sneak our dog into the ceremony.

• I've moved multiple times over the past five years, including two international moves.
• I've learned a lot about decluttering and letting go of material things during this time.
• Now, my husband and I live a minimalist lifestyle.

There's nothing like a move to prompt a thorough decluttering session. An international move makes the mission even more pressing. Over the past five years, as I moved from Canada to the UK and back again, I've absolutely mastered the art of decluttering.

My first move was fairly easy. I'd been living in a shared rental with roommates, so I only needed to pack up my room. Still, before leaving, I remember weekly donation trips to thrift stores and endless posts to Facebook Marketplace trying to sell or give away what I couldn't take. After weeks of decluttering, I managed to condense my belongings into a single suitcase and carry-on.

My husband and I accumulated a lot of stuff together

The second time was much harder. I moved to the UK for love, and while there, I started building a home with my husband. Like any new couple moving into their first place, we had fun making it our own. I became obsessed with the clothing and decor stores that weren't available in Canada.

Over four years, our one-bedroom apartment became filled with cute vases, plant pots, decorative plates, funny mugs, fitness equipment, novelty games, and books that we never got around to reading. Our storage closet was a mini danger zone with its haphazard stacks of boxes and containers — think Monica Geller's closet of shame in "Friends."

An international move forced us to pare down yet again

In 2022, my husband and I decided to return to Canada for a calmer pace of life and easier access to nature. We'd been living in the bustling post-industrial Birmingham, where he was from, while I was from the more relaxed, coastal city of Vancouver. We gave ourselves just under a year to plan the move and pack up our lives again.

Remembering how long it took me to declutter and pack before moving the first time around, I began the process five months before our official move. I had grown attached to many of my new belongings, but I had to be honest with myself about their practicality. There's only so much you can fit into a suitcase.

I started with my wardrobe, purging impulse purchases and seldom-worn items. I was left with a streamlined capsule wardrobe that's still serving me well a year and a half after my return to Canada; it all fit into a carry-on and a checked bag, much like what I brought with me when I first arrived in the UK.

The home goods were harder to deal with. I didn't want to let go of everything because starting from scratch is expensive. I had to get rid of the bigger pieces, like plant pots, and generic items like dinnerware.

We shipped over a box with a handful of decor pieces we really liked (along with our winter coats), but otherwise, all we had with us was two checked pieces of luggage and our carry-ons when we got to the airport. However, I'm embarrassed to say we didn't manage to get rid of everything; our landlords messaged us to let us know we had left behind a few trinkets in the cupboards.

Our move made me realize just how easy it is to accumulate things you don't really need. Since we've been back in Canada, we've adopted a minimalist lifestyle and have been very selective with what enters our home. And we've never felt more at peace.

We're in another one-bedroom apartment, but now, we're without a storage closet to dump our clutter into. Although we're not planning on moving abroad again, I live with the mindset that I might at any given time — how easily would I be able to pack up my life again if I needed to? With our current streamlined wardrobes and practical selection of home goods, I'd like to think we wouldn't need another six months to declutter if the occasion arises again.