• When I moved from New Zealand to the US, I didn't realize how much it would actually cost me.
• It's been hard for me to be away from family and to build a community in a new place.
• When I visit my home country, I often experience reverse culture shock.

I moved from New Zealand to California more than 12 years ago after I met and married an American.

Even though I've been in the US for a long time now, I still experience some of the same challenges I did when I first moved here. Plus, I never stopped feeling the pull of home and the family I left behind in New Zealand.

However, visiting home doesn't always bring the same comfort it once did, as it can be hard to readjust to a culture I haven't lived with for over a decade.

Sometimes, it feels like I have my heart in two countries, but I don't completely belong to either.

Here are some of the biggest challenges I've faced as an expat.

Figuring out how to navigate unfamiliar cultural norms has been difficult

When I first moved here, I discovered the US tends to have a much more cutthroat, competitive culture where people can be overlooked or dismissed if they're not prepared to speak loudly and clearly about their accomplishments.

Back in New Zealand, however, I was used to — and raised in — a culture that encourages people to act humble.

As Kiwis, we don't tend to talk up our accomplishments and we try to give credit to others (even if it rightly belongs to us) for fear of being seen as braggarts. Those who are seen as being "too big for their boots" are deliberately knocked down a peg — a phenomenon so popular in Australia and New Zealand that locals have a term for it: "tall poppy syndrome."

Though they may be small, these sorts of cultural differences can feel like a minefield to navigate and have made some social interactions a source of stress for me for many years.

Being far from family has been tough for me, both financially and emotionally

Although my husband is American, we live far from any family — his nearest relatives are four hours away.

It's been tough to raise our daughter without access to a village of family members.

I especially miss having a community at my 10-year-old daughter's soccer games, where I'm often surrounded by many multigenerational families cheering on their kids. I can't help but feel sad that she doesn't get to experience having a ready-made fan club on the sidelines because her family is so far away.

I'd love to visit our family overseas more often, but it's just not possible when flights between San Francisco and Auckland typically cost over $1,000 — even when booking months in advance.

We can only afford to visit New Zealand every two years or so, and I worry how the distance will impact my daughter's relationships with family over time.

My daughter has cousins in New Zealand and Australia ranging in age from 4 to 16. She's often asked me if we can move closer to them, and I feel bad we can't visit more often.

It's also tough for my family overseas to visit the US, in part due to the exchange rate. The New Zealand dollar is worth about 60 cents here, so a USD$1,000 plane ticket would cost them about NZD$1,790. My brother and sister-in-law even cut a planned trip to the US short because of how expensive it was for them.

These travel costs have also made it tough to navigate family emergencies over the past few years — especially when I got a call that my dad was in the ICU after a nasty fall last year.

Any flights home within the next two weeks would've cost well over $2,500 — way over my budget. Instead, I had to get updates from family over the phone and cheer him on from home as he recovered.

I don't feel completely at home in New Zealand anymore, either

Most of my family still lives in New Zealand, but time and distance naturally create a disconnect with everyday life in my home country.

I look forward to my visits back home, but over the past few years, I've experienced reverse culture shock, a phenomenon that can cause expats to feel like tourists in their country of birth.

It can manifest in relatively simple things, such as not understanding local pop-culture references or feeling removed from the everyday issues that concern my fellow Kiwis. Unfortunately, this has meant my old home can feel strikingly unfamiliar, and there's sometimes a disconnect when I visit.

I can cheer on the All Blacks rugby team, hunt down Kiwi-inspired meat pies, and enjoy the company of fellow expats. However, both my home country and my family are inevitably changing and growing — so I don't always feel a sense of belonging in either the US or New Zealand.

Still, I've done my best to adapt to a new culture and accept a new sense of "normal" about people, places, and routines. Despite the challenges, I feel like I'm in a good place in California, and the relationships I've slowly been building with those around me make life worthwhile.

My experience as an expat hasn't felt easy — but at the end of the day, I'm happy I took a chance on myself and followed my heart.

• Exhibiting red flags in a job interview can be an easy way to lose out on advancing to the next stage.
• But on the flip side, there are green flags that can help set you apart and boost your chances.
• We asked 6 recruiting professionals for the green flags they look for in candidates during job interviews.

The start of the year is usually one of the busiest times for hiring as many companies have finalized their new budgets.

If you're brushing up on your interview skills right about now, BI spoke with several current and former recruiters for the traits they say always make a good first impression.

Here are the green flags they like to see in job candidates:

Demonstrating accountability

"Self-reflection, accountability, and confidence in themselves and their work," are green flags to Lauren Monroe, who leads the creative practice group at Aquent, a staffing agency for creative, marketing, and design roles.

A personalized touch also helps. Monroe recalls one candidate who "studied the job description and prepared success stories and examples for every responsibility" to share in the interview. As the cherry on top, the candidate "created a fun animation using the company's logo and added it to their email signature" in their thank-you note.

A clear pitch

Tessa White, a former head HR chief, is the CEO of The Job Doctor and author of "The Unspoken Truths for Career Success."

"When a candidate comes in and is clear on how they can help the company, and why they are a fit, it's refreshing," she says. "I often tell people, if you don't know what your value proposition is, I guarantee you the company won't know."

Mentoring others

Kyle Samuels, who leads executive search agency Creative Talent Endeavors after 20 years in senior-level executive recruiting, looks for candidates with "a history of coaching and mentoring others" because this shows they "want the organization as a whole to operate at a high level."

Enthusiasm for the job

Amri Celeste, a recruitment manager and interview coach, watches for applicants who show passion and enthusiasm for the job.

"When a candidate is particularly enthusiastic or excited about a role, the hiring manager will often be enthusiastic and excited about the candidate," she says. "It's one of the most common pieces of positive feedback I receive from managers about candidates."

Having prepared "clear examples of any achievements and duties mentioned on a résumé" ticks off another box on the candidate checklist, she adds.

Asking thoughtful questions

Marissa Morrison, VP of people at ZipRecruiter, says well-thought-out questions reflect "interest, enthusiasm, and a deeper understanding of the position."

"For example, asking about how they'd be expected to use AI or a certain new technology in the role in a job interview can be a way to demonstrate that you're up to date with current trends and willing to embrace new technologies to creatively solve problems, drive value, and support your work," she says.

An upbeat attitude

"Having a positive attitude, showing enthusiasm for the role, and being engaged during your interview can help set you apart from the competition," Amy Garefis, chief people officer at ZipRecruiter. "In my experience, it is often the tiebreaker for me between candidates with similar skills or professional experience."

• Google cofounder Larry Page made an appearance at a Y Combinator meeting in December.
• He spoke to a group from the Fall 2024 class of startups.
• He talked about the origins of Google and listened to founders talk about their startups.

Google cofounder Larry Page made a rare public appearance during a Y Combinator event for startups held in San Francisco, California in December, Business Insider has learned.

Page showed up at an "office hour" for a group of the Fall 2024 class of startups during the final days of the event, where he listened to founders talk about their business ideas, according to a person who attended. Y Combinator spokesperson Lulu Meservey confirmed Page's attendance at the event.

Y Combinator is a startup incubator that holds seasonal classes — known as "batches" — where budding startup founders can network and get advice from Silicon Valley luminaries.

Page was brought along to the event by Y Combinator group partner Paul Buchheit, the attendee said, adding that Page also shared some anecdotes about the early days of Google. The person asked to remain anonymous because they had not been permitted to speak to the media about the event.

A public sighting of Page is extremely rare these days.

He and cofounder Sergey Brin stepped away from their executive roles at Alphabet in 2019, giving the pair time to pursue other business interests such as flying cars and disaster relief. The pair continue to sit on the Alphabet board and hold shares of a special voting stock that gives them ultimate control of the company.

While Brin has returned to work on AI projects at Google, Page has remained more distant. He continues to financially support Pivotal, a startup working on electric vertical take-off and landing vehicles, or eVTOLs.

Got more insight to share? You can reach the reporter Hugh Langley via the encrypted messaging app Signal (+1-628-228-1836) or email ([email protected]).