During a trip to India my daughter couldn't access TikTok for 2 weeks. She found other ways to connect with friends.
- I took my 14-year-old daughter on a trip to India.
- When we arrived, she realized she couldn't access TikTok for our trip.
- At first, she panicked, but then she realized she didn't need TikTok to stay connected.
Recently, I took my 14-year-old daughter on a once-in-lifetime trip to India. When we landed, I was excited to see the Taj Mahal and embark on a safari for a chance to see one of the country's famed Bengal tigers.
My daughter was also elated when we landed in India but for a much different reason. After a long flight, she looked forward to connecting to WiFi to see what she had missed. However, her joy quickly turned to despair when she discovered that TikTok was banned in India due to national security concerns posed by the Chinese-owned app, concerns shared by the United States that may lead to a national ban later this month.
In contrast, I was thrilled. I spent years trying to limit my daughter's access to TikTok. At times, this caused my daughter to crumple in tears, insisting that she was the only one without access to the creator's "everyone" was following. Eventually, I lightened up, but I still question that decision.
I was happy that for the next two weeks, the government of India and I were perfectly aligned on this issue. They could be the bad guys in my teenager's eyes instead of me.
My daughter wasn't convinced she could live without TikTok
After a few minutes without TikTok, my daughter declared, "I can't do this. I am getting on a plane and going home right now." I reminded her that a TikTok ban is looming in the United States and that a world without the app might be her new reality. While challenges are still pending, the app could disappear as soon as January 19th in the United States.
I reasoned that our two weeks in India might be her chance to ease out of using the app and see what life is like without TikTok. That would make the transition easier if the TikTok ban goes through at home, I reasoned. She didn't find my logic compelling, but since I told her she would have to pay for her own ticket home, she decided to make the best of it and stay.
She asked her friend for updates
At first, my daughter brought up how unfair it was that she could not access TikTok several times a day. I gently teased her that skincare and fashion trends wouldn't change before we got home. She was not amused, but I was happy not to be the bad guy in this scenario.
My daughter texted her best friend, who had the good fortune to still have access to TikTok back home, to ask what she was missing. Her friend shared news about some new reels she thought my daughter would like, but nothing earth-shattering. Gradually, my daughter stopped asking and stopped complaining.
She realized she could live without TikTok
After our first week in India, I asked my daughter how her TikTok detox was going. She snapped back that she hadn't been on her phone that much. I gave her a wry smile and asked if she thought there was a connection. My daughter was adamant that the two were unrelated, but I wasn't convinced.
We were busy in India. However, I think that my daughter did not feel as compelled to reach for her phone because the pull of TikTok — which can be harmful to teens, according to the company's documents — was absent.
She found substitutes
A TikTok-less world didn't end my daughter's obsession with her phone. She told me that she started watching Instagram reels instead, which she enjoyed more than she thought she would.
We talked about what she would do if a TikTok ban were enacted in the US. Although my daughter was emphatic that she did not want that to happen, she told me that she would follow her favorite creators on Instagram but would cut some others loose. As a parent, I wonder if it'd make her reassess her relationship with social media, too.
I am not naive. I know that it's unrealistic to expect any teenager to abandon social media entirely. I know that if TikTok is banned in the United States, my daughter will fill the gap with other apps, which is what happened in India. However, I still feel comforted knowing that those apps will not pose the same threats as TikTok.
Nevertheless, I am glad that the two weeks my daughter spent without TikTok showed her that she can survive in a world without TikTok.