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I've been throwing out my kids' broken and forgotten toys while they're at school for years. They don't notice.

tossing toy stuffed bear in trash
At first, I worried my kids would be upset some of their toys were missing, but they've never noticed.

Dmytro Skrypnykov/Getty Images

  • My kids have a hard time letting go, even if it's a broken figurine with a missing head.
  • Their playroom was getting overfilled and out of control so I took up an annual ritual.
  • Once a year, while the kids are at school, I declutter their playroom, tossing anything unnecessary.

Come December each year, my 4 and 7-year-old's playroom is piled high with loose Lego bricks, long-forgotten bags, and discarded crafts.

Throughout the year, whenever doting friends or family visit, they bring gifts, despite my protests. And lately, birthday parties have gotten out of hand with all the presents.

When I suggest we let go of some of these things, like the broken figurines with the missing heads, I am greeted with a symphony of "No mama, I want to keep them!"

This gets me anxious.

The holidays are coming, and despite reminders to family and friends that the kids need absolutely nothing, I know there will be a new toy garbage truck or Lego set coming our way very soon.

Not to mention, I work from home, and the kids' collections invade my workspace. So, about five years ago, I started an annual ritual to clear the clutter.

My rec room revamp has become an annual tradition

My ritual is always the same. One day each December, after lunch, while the kids are at school, I grab a garbage bag and get to work on reorganizing their play area.

I work quickly, making sure my own sentimentality doesn't hold me back. I immediately remove the broken and maimed toys, sorting through the cars and trucks. I also make sure all the art supplies are functional and worth keeping.

After all is said and done, I typically amass enough to fill two full garbage bags ready to donate and another smaller bag with the broken toys packed up for the week's garbage pick-up.

The first time I did this, I worried about how my kids would react when they came home and saw that their pirate ship, for example, was missing.

However, I have done my rec room revamp every December for the past five years, and my kids have yet to notice a single toy missing.

In fact, after school, when they come down to theirΒ kid caveΒ and see it with less stuff, they get more excited to play with what's there.

The fake food and mini cash register that was once buried under all the now-disposed-of junk is front and center, ready for action.

The puzzles that had been hidden from view are now visible and very appealing. Oh, and not one word was said about the pirate ship.

My upbringing was very different

When I was a kid, I had a fraction of the toys as my kids. I remember a box of gently used Lincoln Logs and a few Barbies, which my dad glued back together when they broke.

Each Christmas, my sister and I would carefully curate a list of wanted items from theΒ Sears catalog, which we never got. However, getting less made me appreciate the few toys I did receive, like my beloved Kenny Rogers Collector's album.

Looking back, there was one word I heard more than anything from my parents, "No."

No, you can't get that. No, you can't go over to her house, you didn't finish your homework. No, you can't order soda.

They were tired, worked multiple jobs, but didn't give in when I threw a tantrum and demanded a pack of Skittles at checkout.

Hearing "no" as much as I did was probably the best gift my parents could have given me. It helped me see that life isn't about getting everything you ask for. In fact, it's often when you don't get what you want that you learn to appreciate what you already have.

However, I'm not so good at always saying no to my children.

I usually let my kids pick out a treat at the grocery store, and when they were toddlers, they amassed quite the collection of Hot Wheels cars purchased from the checkout end cap to avoid a tantrum.

Sitting here, yet again, among all my kids' stuff about to embark on my annual downsizing, I think it's time to also sort through some of my parenting protocols.

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My 7-year-old gets so much homework he has to stay up past his bedtime to finish it all

A 7 years old boy doing his homework
The author (not pictured) says her child gets tons of homework daily.

Catherine Delahaye/Getty Images

  • My son is in second grade and gets homework in several subjects every day.
  • Sometimes, we are both up past his bedtime to ensure everything gets done.
  • A child psychologist agrees that homework on second grade can be overwhelming.

When I was in second grade, I used to get excited when I had homework; it meant I wasn't a little kid anymore, and I had real work to do.

But my second grader comes home every day with homework in several subjects, and by the time I pick him up from his after-school activities, it's well after 5 p.m., and he's exhausted.

To complicate things, the way schools teach math is different from how it was taught when I was a kid, and if it wasn't for the text chat a few of us moms have created, I wouldn't always know how to decipher it.

If parents aren't on top of the homework, we feel like we are failing our kids. In a moment of frustration, one of the moms reminded us, "In Finland, kids don't even start reading until age 7!"

I adore my son's school and its incredibly dedicated teachers. And who could deny the merits of weekly spelling tests, reading assignments, and core math reviews. But at what point does homework become too much?

Homework causes fights between us

I certainly get that this is a competitive world, and we don't want our kids to fall behind, but isn't it enough if we just have our young kids read every night and focus on recouping from a day of focus?

It's also hard for me as a parent to put in a full day of work and then fight with my 7-year-old over completing his math sheets. I get a lot of "You are the worst mom!" and "Mom, I can't do it!" type statements, which don't elicit the best feelings after not seeing my child all day.

I'm not even saying no homework at all during the week, just not every day. Reading absolutely should be done daily, but those days when I don't see math homework listed in my son's assignment book are some of the best for both him and me.

There's a recommendation for how many minutes of homework per grade kids should get

I spoke with Emily Edlynn, a child psychologist, mom of three, and author of the parenting bookΒ "Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children," who recognizes that the homework level in second Grade can be overwhelming. Her son is in fifth grade now and attests that his homework in second grade was the most he has ever had.

Edlynn says that the official recommendation is that there should be 10 minutes per grade level of homework β€” for my son, that would mean 20 minutes. However, kids all work at different paces and Edlynn says to keep track of what your child is able to accomplish in that time and once determined, you can work with their teacher to prioritize which ones you should devote the most attention.

Edlynn, also advises working with your child to create a homework routine on which they have input. The parent may be the one who decides which assignments take priority, but perhaps your child can help determine whether they want to do it right after school or in the early evening.

I'll take the wins whenever I can get them

And then there are those days when my son comes home, does his math and language homework without any issue and we have fun playing an interactive game to learn his weekly spelling words.

On those days, I think, maybe homework every day isn't so bad. Of course, that's after I promised him a handful of gummy bears before dinner.

Read the original article on Business Insider

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