• I met my partner when I was seven years sober.
• Although I was far into my sobriety journey, some of his drinking habits triggered me.
• I told him my concerns, and we built a relationship on open communication.

I met my husband a few days after my seventh sobriety anniversary. I don't even remember when I first told him that I no longer drank because it simply wasn't a big deal for me by that point.

I'd lost any lingering embarrassment over being someone in recovery. My now-husband must've taken the news in stride; otherwise, I'm sure I would recall that first sobriety conversation better.

But as we got more serious, I realized we needed to have harder discussions. Some of those are more memorable because I had to be more vulnerable, and his response, if negative, could have ended our relationship.

My then-boyfriend started to trigger my addiction

Because of my history with addiction, I am aware of my boundaries to avoid relapse. For example, in the first year of sobriety, I couldn't live in a home with alcohol. It was too early for me and too scary to have temptation that close.

With time, things got easier. A year into sobriety, I was less easily triggered and moved in with a friend who kept bottles of wine in the house. I didn't ask her to remove them; I had enough discipline and trust in myself at that point.

When I met my husband, I could handle most bars and parties without being tempted. Having a partner who drank wasn't a dealbreaker for me, but I still needed boundaries within the relationship to protect my sobriety.

I realized some situations were triggering me as our relationship developed. It wasn't easy to share that a situation tempted me after all that time without drinking. But my sobriety had been too hard-won to risk skating over the issue.

I shared how going out to dinner was difficult because he ordered cocktails every time, and the frequency was too much for me. I also let him know I was uncomfortable seeing him tipsy and that it made me feel unsafe even though I knew he was safe. And later, when we bought our home, we went shopping for a liquor cabinet for him. It's not hard to have alcohol in the house, but bottles visible on the counter for long periods are more difficult for me.

In some cases, we struggled through these conversations. I couldn't even tell him why some things were more triggering than others. It took some back-and-forth to get to a place of understanding. He asked questions and did his best to listen and take action. This new territory was uncomfortable for both of us. But with every hard talk, we got a little better at it. And we always reached an agreement that felt like a step forward.

We now have a relationship built on open communication

Looking back, I can honestly see how helpful my sobriety has been in fostering our communication, forcing us to have some serious conversations early on. I had to be shamelessly vulnerable. My partner had to respond with empathy and action. I'm grateful he took me seriously.

We were also forced to dig deep and state our feelings clearly, including why some things rubbed me the wrong way. It was one of the best things that happened in building our relationship.

Here we are, four years later, married, and my 11th year of sobriety just celebrated.

No one should risk their sobriety for a relationship

I don't share my boundaries for anyone to compare their own. Everyone in sobriety has their personal level of need when it comes to distance or safety from substances. I've had weaker and stronger seasons, and my boundaries are mine. There's no shame in requiring an alcohol-free home.

If you've worked hard to get sober, don't risk something so precious to meet anyone else's standard. Ask for what you need to be healthy in your relationships.

My husband and I have discussed that if I go through a season of feeling more triggered, we would remove any alcohol from our home, and he would abstain completely. The level of support is there, no matter if the needle on the gauge changes. Some hard things can surprise you and turn into an advantage. It worked that way for us.

• Paul Mescal said that he has to "quit the internet."
• In the latest episode of "Happy Sad Confused," Mescal said his algorithm has "too much" of him.
• Mescal rose to fame after his role in the 2020 drama, "Normal People."

Paul Mescal might be in need of a digital detox.

On Monday's episode of "Happy Sad Confused," Josh Horowitz asked the "Gladiator II" star what his algorithm was like.

"I've got to quit the internet," Mescal responded. "It's like too much. It's too much of yourself. There's not enough bakeries, and there's too much of me."

He said that he would take "anything else other than me." "But I think it's just the way that the algorithms are cursed," he said.

Mescal plays Lucius in the action sequel "Gladiator II." In the same interview, he opened up about the growing media attention he has been receiving.

Acting was never on his radar, and he had no desire in his childhood to be "out in the world," said Mescal, who was nominated for Best Actor in the 2023 Academy Awards for his role in "Aftersun."

"But also, you're smart enough to realize that, like, that's the gig. You get out in front of the movie, and you do your job," said the Irish actor. "But there's a certain tax that comes with it."

In an interview with CBS Sunday Morning on November 17, Mescal said his break-out role as Connell Waldron in "Normal People" changed his career trajectory.

"That was so abrupt," he said. "I think it started the scale moving in the direction that just that was the new normal, which was totally abnormal."

A representative for Mescal did not immediately respond to a request for comment sent outside regular business hours.

Going on a digital detox

Mescal is not the only celebrity to have considered taking a break from social media.

In January, Selena Gomez posted an Instagram story with the caption, "I'm off social for a while. I'm focusing on what really matters." Still, the pop star returned to the platform in less than 24 hours.

Instead of completely abstaining from social media, setting limits may be more helpful in managing phone addiction, Neha Chaudhary, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, previously told BI.

She recommends leaning on friends and family to stay accountable.

"Accountability plays a big role in trying to make any change," she said. "Maybe decide with a friend that you want to both reduce use, or tell your family member your goals so that they can check in with you about it. Whatever it is, find a way to have someone help keep you on track — breaking habits alone can be difficult."

Chaudhary recommends unfollowing accounts that can negatively impact your mental health to curate a more positive social media feed.

"I tell my patients that one of the biggest shifts they can make is to start to replace content that leaves them feeling worse with content that makes them feel better when they consume it," she said.