• My son's principal told me he called a girl ugly on several occasions.
• As a mother and leadership coach, I worried I failed my son.
• Instead of judging him and myself, I taught him the power of words.

"Your son has been calling a girl ugly — repeatedly."

I froze. My stomach dropped. The words from the school principal felt surreal. My 13-year-old had called someone ugly. And not just once, but repeatedly?

I was shocked, but more than that, I was terrified. I felt like a failure.

I'm a leadership coach. I work with executives on empathy, accountability, and understanding, yet here I was, faced with the reality that I might have failed my own child.

The questions swirled. How did this happen? Did I not teach him better than this? Where did I go wrong?

At that moment, something clicked: leadership principles aren't just for the boardroom; they're for everyday life. Parenting is leadership, too. I had to approach this challenge with the same mindset I used to guide executives.

I decided not to judge my son, so I asked him questions instead

At first, my emotions boiled over. I wanted to tell my son how disappointed I was and to remind him of all the lessons we've discussed: kindness, respect, empathy. But I knew that simply reacting emotionally wouldn't help him grow.

Effective leaders don't react with anger or judgment. Instead, they choose a path of inquiry and growth. It's about creating a space where accountability happens without shame.

So, instead of scolding him, I asked him questions like: "Why do you think that happened?" and "What do you think the impact was?"

My son's answer surprised me. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. "I was just trying to be funny," he said. "I wanted to fit in with my friends."

This moment hit me hard. I realized that he wasn't trying to be cruel; he was trying to make his friends laugh, to impress them.

When I took a step back to collect myself, a memory surfaced: I called a girl ugly in the eighth grade. I hadn't thought about that moment in years, but there it was — sharp, vivid, and undeniable. I didn't say it because I believed it. I said it to fit in, to feel better about myself, and to cave to the pressure around me.

Instead of scolding, I told him about the time I called a girl ugly. I used my vulnerability to help him see that everyone makes mistakes. This wasn't about labeling him a bad person but about helping him understand the harm in his actions.

"I know you're not a mean person," I said gently, "but you did a mean thing."

This conversation was about making him think, making him feel what the other person felt. I wanted him to understand the power of his words and begin to reflect on how to repair the situation.

I then encouraged my son to apologize — not just with words, but with sincerity. We practiced it together. I asked him to think about how the girl might have felt and what she might have been thinking when he said those words.

My son learned his lesson once he apologized

When the time came, his apology was heartfelt. But the girl's response was even more powerful.

"I'm OK with jokes," she said, "but I'm not OK when they're about my body or my looks."

It was a moment of leadership — on her part, on his part, and on mine.

At that moment, I felt something shift in my son. He understood that words have power — not just in the moment they're spoken, but in their lasting impact on someone's self-worth.

I've been a leadership coach long enough to know that people don't always behave as expected. Sometimes, good people do bad things, and even the most well-intentioned individuals make mistakes.

It's easy to react with judgment, to label someone's behavior as unforgivable. But true leadership is about offering grace and space for growth.

The key to this experience was replacing judgment with curiosity

When I first heard what my son had done, my first instinct was to judge him harshly. But judgment doesn't foster growth; it stifles it.

By embracing curiosity, I was able to ask the right questions — questions that led to reflection rather than defensiveness. By doing so, we had a real conversation about empathy, self-awareness, and becoming a better person.

This experience reminded me that we parents are not raising our children to avoid mistakes. We're raising them to learn from those mistakes and grow our understanding of ourselves and others.

Parenting is no different from leadership. The same principles we use to guide executives, employees, and teams can — and should — be applied to how we raise our children. By embracing curiosity, modeling accountability, and leading with compassion, we teach not just by our words but by our actions.

• When I saw the Los Angeles fires creep toward my house, I knew I had to pack an emergency bag fast.
• I grabbed the essentials, but then I remembered I needed to take photos of my birth mother with me.
• That's when I learned nothing I've ever purchased is as important to me as I thought.

It's amazing what you pack when a fire rages five blocks from the home you've lived in for 24 years and raised your kids in. It's amazing what you decide — in those panicked moments — is most valuable.

My daughter, 26, lives at home, and her friends, who evacuated from the latest fire in Hollywood, came to stay with us. We live in the flats of the San Fernando Valley. Wildfire danger is rare, and the same goes for floods and mudslides. That's why, 24 years ago, we chose this leafy cul-de-sac.

Like all Angelenos, I've spent the last few days scared and anxious, checking in with friends and watching communities and beloved institutions burn to the ground. I've heard from friends who've lost everything. A lifetime turned to ash.

At least everyone is safe, I kept telling myself. I've been coping as best I can, alternating between watching the news and attempting to dissociate with "Downton Abbey."

But one night this week, my daughter ran into my room and told me to turn on the news. There was a fire just blocks away. We grabbed our coats, ran outside, walked a block, and saw the flames on the nearby hillside. Families emerged from houses and buildings, carrying all they could manage, and rushed to their cars.

"What should we do?" my daughter asked.

I stood nearly catatonic. "I don't know. I just don't know."

We watched the Los Angeles fire department make water drops and watched more neighbors, stricken with fear, run to their cars. We decided to get back home and quickly pack the car.

I first struggled to find what was most valuable to me

I grabbed jewelry, passports, jugs of water, and the emergency earthquake kit my husband insists we keep updated. I packed underwear, toothpaste, and random toiletries as if hyaluronic acid was essential to my survival. My daughter carried bags of dog food and her favorite clothes. I then watched her take a giant plastic bin from the garage.

"What is that?" I asked.

"Pictures," she replied.

Suddenly, everything stopped — the noise, the fear, the rushing. Only one thing mattered: finding the photographs of my birth mother.

My birth mother and I never met, but I needed her in this emergency

I was adopted at three months old, and my records were sealed. At 31, after the birth of my daughter, I found my birth mother via a copy of my original birth certificate held in the New York Public Library. She had already died — in 1995, one day before my 27th birthday, before I found her, before I could tell I was OK, and before I could tell her that I understood.

After a decadeslong search, I found her husband (not my father), Andrew. In 2022, I met Andrew in Paris. After lunch and wine, he handed me a canvas bag and said, "This is for you."

Slowly, meticulously, I took out photograph after photograph — aged and loved — and contemplated the face, expression, and fabulous style of my first mother.

When I came home from Paris, I carefully laid out each picture on my hotel bed — some more than 40 years old — and snapped photos of them with my phone. I knew I needed a digital archive, but nothing could replace holding the images in my hand, touching her in the only way allowed. I then put the bag of photos in a box I kept under my bed.

I took the photos of Gloria with me, not fully knowing how much I valued them

My daughter shouted to me, "Everything I want is in my car!"

I let her know I was almost ready. Frantic to find the pictures of Gloria, I rifled through storage bags, and then I remembered the box. It was right there under the bed — below where my head rests each night.

I reached, retrieved it, and opened it. The bag of Gloria's photographs was safely inside. Hurry. I rushed to my car, placed the box beside my go bag, and hugged my daughter. We were ready. We were safe. And my first mother was with me — like she always is.

In the end, thanks to brave firefighters and water drops, we didn't need to evacuate. But the lesson of those frenzied moments will stay with me forever. Nothing I've ever purchased is as important to me as I thought.

• This post originally appeared in the BI Today newsletter.
• You can sign up for Business Insider's daily newsletter here.

Happy Saturday! Trying to pick a diet for 2025? Sometimes, it's best to keep it simple. That's what Jennifer Aniston does with her 80/20 rule, which is about eating healthy most of the time with some room for leniency.

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On the agenda:

• The year's must-attend events for the world's wealthiest people.
• Netflix could finally win a best picture Oscar — right when it doesn't need one.
• A top nutrition scientist shares how to increase your fiber intake while still meeting your protein goals.
• The pressure to be a perfect parent now extends to childbirth.

But first: Throw it away. Seriously.

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If this was forwarded to you, sign up here. Download Business Insider's app here.

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This week's dispatch

The art of decluttering

It's my favorite time of year: After Santa drops off all his presents, my house is no longer recognizable — but I have a plan for that. It's time to harness my inner Marie Kondo and attempt to reorganize my home.

Before the holidays, I had already started intentionally throwing away items I hadn't used for months. Even the kids' toy basket (OK, fine, baskets) was touched by my decluttering bug. If anything was broken, it went into the trash bag. Don't worry; my 2- and 5-year-old didn't shed a tear.

I'm now moving my way from forgotten closet to forgotten closet, finding things I need and throwing away things that are no longer useful to me and my family.

Even though millennials have a reputation for being minimalists, the truth is we've also bought into the consumerism that makes America what it is, writes journalist Kelli María Korducki. "Millennials haven't been minimalists in years. In fact, we may have never been minimalists at all," she says.

For some, decluttering their physical space may not be enough; their digital lives may also need some tidying up. That's what writer Theresa Sam Houghton did after she realized bookmarking apps and unplayed podcast episodes were clogging up her smartphone. She writes that she's now "developed a weekly routine that helps me reign in digital clutter on a regular basis."

Are you convinced yet? If not, read this to see how decluttering helped one couple eliminate clutter and $32,000 worth of credit-card debt.

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Billionaires' busy social calendar

The billionaire population is sparse, but birds of a feather tend to flock their private jets together. That is, you can typically find them all in the same place.

At the beginning of the year, they descend en masse to Switzerland for the World Economic Forum's annual meeting in Davos. In February, you can spot them at the Super Bowl. Every July they head to a small town in Idaho for the Allen & Company Sun Valley Conference, also known as billionaire summer camp.

Where the wealthy mingle.

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Netflix on top

If the streamer's success at the Golden Globes is any indication, 2025 could be the year that Netflix finally wins best picture at the Academy Awards. But it doesn't need to.

After spending millions of dollars on best picture campaigns in past years, Netflix has cemented its place in Hollywood as the definitive leader in the streaming wars. With its attention in other areas — like its live sports push — a best picture nod for "Emilia Perez" would be a nice addition, but not a necessary one.

The Oscars extra credit.

Also read:

• The best-dressed celebrities at the 2025 Golden Globes
• Timothée Chalamet and Glen Powell took their lookalikes to the Golden Globes. Fans hope it's the end of doppelganger contests.

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You probably aren't eating enough fiber

Grocery stores are filling shelves with high-protein versions of food, but top nutrition scientist Tim Spector said people who want to improve their diet should focus on consuming more fiber than protein. It's great for gut health and can ease constipation, among many other things.

The US Department of Agriculture's Dietary Guidelines for Americans for 2020 to 2025 found that more than 90% of women and 97% of men in the US don't meet the recommended intake of dietary fiber. Spector shared tips for eating enough fiber while also hitting your daily protein target.

More fiber, please.

Also read:

• A dietitian said eating high-fiber and fermented foods can improve gut health and boost energy in the winter. Here are her favorite recipes.

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Everyone is suddenly obsessed with optimizing childbirth

When scrolling through social media as a pregnant person, you're often inundated with a million ways you can make the most of the birth experience. Plus, there's a growing industry of birthing influencers marketing their preferred birthing styles — from natural to ecstatic births — through sponsored posts, consulting services, and online courses.

While much of the talk centered on optimizing birth is well-meaning, how we give birth — or rather, how we think we'll give birth — has become the latest way we define, and judge, ourselves as parents.

The 'good birth' myth.

Also read:

• I wanted my child to be happy. To do so, I need to let go of my perfectionism.

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What we're watching this weekend

• "The Traitors": Season 3 of the Emmy-winning competition series premieres on Peacock this week, with Britney Spears' ex-husband, Zac Efron's brother, and a former "Bachelorette" star among the new cast.
• "The Curious Case of Natalia Grace": Max is now streaming the final chapter of the ID docuseries about a Ukrainian orphan whose adoptive parents accused her of being an adult secretly posing as a child.
• "American Primeval": "Friday Night Lights" star Taylor Kitsch is a standout in Netflix's answer to "Yellowstone," a bloody and violent new drama set in the early days of the American West.

See the full list

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What to shop

• Beat the cold: There's nothing like a bone-chilling gust of wind to remind you that your jacket needs replacing. Check out our guides to the best men's parkas for extreme cold and the best winter coats and jackets for men.
• Skill building: Get a leg up at work and learn new skills with a Coursera Plus annual subscription, which is 50% off right now. The deal offers access to thousands of classes from verified providers like Google, Microsoft, and IBM.
• RTO, but make it comfy: Just because you're back in the office doesn't mean you have to be uncomfortable. These are our favorite stretchy work pants for women that feel like sweatpants but look professional.

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More of this week's top reads:

• 2025 TV shows we're most excited about, from the return of 'Stranger Things' to the new 'Game of Thrones' prequel.
• Norovirus cases are spiking across the US this winter. Here's why — and what you need to know to protect yourself.
• Why are mocktails so expensive?
• Review: I ate at Louis Vuitton's new café and while I enjoyed 'luxury snacking,' it's not a place I'm rushing to revisit.
• Brooke Shields says she's happier than ever with herself at 59. Here are 3 lessons she's learned about aging well.
• A glass of milk's worth of calcium has been linked to lower colorectal cancer risk. Here are 6 foods you might not know contain the mineral.
• 9 luxurious status symbols you might be tempted to buy in 2025.

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The BI Today team: Dan DeFrancesco, deputy editor and anchor, in New York City. Grace Lett, editor, in New York. Lisa Ryan, executive editor, in New York. Amanda Yen, associate editor, in New York.

"Landman" is the latest Taylor Sheridan-produced TV drama, starring Billy Bob Thornton, Demi Moore, Ali Larter and Jon Hamm.

Newsweek spoke to two experts who shared how premature graying may be a sign of mineral deficiencies.

The dog stood next to him barking in disbelief about the double standard.

The subject of the new documentary 'Bob Mackie: Naked Illusion' looks back at the evolutions of Cher's style over their decades-long friendship

Shop travel jewelry boxes, makeup bags, and more

The shocking true-crime docuseries, 'The Bunker,' detailing Isabel Eriksson's harrowing abduction, debuts Jan. 16 on Viaplay, available on Prime Video

The BepiColombo mission successfully completed its sixth flyby of the innermost planet, moving closer to its final goal of entering its orbit.

Dawn Staley’s squad is scheduled to play five ranked opponents in 15 days, starting Sunday against No. 5 Texas. 

In 2019, astronomer Britt Lundgren of the University of North Carolina Asheville visited the Guggenheim Museum in New York City to take in an exhibit of the works of Swedish painter Hilma af Klint. Lundgren noted a striking similarity between the abstract geometric shapes in af Klint's work and scientific diagrams in 19th century physicist Thomas Young's Lectures (1807). So began a four-year journey starting at the intersection of science and art that has culminated in a forthcoming paper in the journal Leonardo, making the case for the connection.

Af Klint was formally trained at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts and initially focused on drawing, portraits, botanical drawings, and landscapes from her Stockholm studio after graduating with honors. This provided her with income, but her true life's work drew on af Klint's interest in spiritualism and mysticism. She was one of "The Five," a group of Swedish women artists who shared those interests. They regularly organized seances and were admirers of theosophical teachings of the time.

It was through her work with The Five that af Klint began experimenting with automatic drawing, driving her to invent her own geometric visual language to conceptualize the invisible forces she believed influenced our world. She painted her first abstract series in 1906 at age 44. Yet she rarely exhibited this work because she believed the art world at the time wasn't ready to appreciate it. Her will requested that the paintings stay hidden for at least 20 years after her death.

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© Hilma af Klimt Foundation

Perhaps ironically, it doesn’t appear as if the legal battle between It Ends With Us costars Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni will be wrapping anytime soon. In early 2023, it was announced that...

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Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have rolled up their sleeves to help out those affected by the wildfires that ravaged parts of Los Angeles.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex visited the World Central Kitchen in Pasadena, California on Friday, January 10.

Us Weekly understands Harry, 40, and Meghan, 43, volunteered to hand out food and supplies to people affected by the Eaton Fire.

During their visit, the couple witnessed harrowing stories from victims, but also strong community spirit as they offered their support. The Duke and Duchess also took time to connect with elderly individuals and families affected by the crisis inside the Pasadena Convention Center.

Meghan Markle, Prince Harry Open Montecito Home to Friends Amid L.A. Fires

As well as serving meals alongside World Central Kitchen (WCK) volunteers outside the venue, Harry and Meghan donated clothing, children’s items, and other essential supplies to the main donation center, Us understands.

Monetary donations have also been made to relief, recovery and rebuild efforts via their charity organization, the Archwell Foundation.

Harry and Meghan also joined Jennifer Siebel Newsom, California’s First Partner, and Pasadena Mayor Victor Gordo, in personally thanking first responders, including Fire Chief Marrone and his team from the LA County Fire Department as well as Members of CalFire and the Pasadena Police Force at the Rose Bowl.

As part of their volunteering efforts, Harry and Meghan met with World Central Kitchen founder José Andrés at the charity’s food stations and thanked the teams for the hard work involved  in supporting the community in its time of need.

It comes after Meghan and Harry opened their Montecito, California home this week to friends who were evacuated as fires blazed across parts of Los Angeles including the Pacific Palisades area, Malibu, Santa Monica and the Hollywood Hills.

Meghan and Harry live in Montecito with their children Prince Archie, 5, and Princess Lilibet, 3. Their home is around 80 miles north of the Pacific Palisades area in LA, where the fires first broke out on Tuesday, January 7.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are 'Casually House Hunting' in Malibu

While it is not known which of the couple’s friends have made use of the home, thousands of people had been forced to flee their homes due to the wildfires. Among the celebrities affected by the fires were Mandy Moore, Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt and Milo Ventimiglia, whose homes all went up in flames.

The couple has dedicated a page on their official website to the wildfires, sharing information about resources and organizations taking part in the relief effort.

The couple first moved to California from the UK in 2020 during the pandemic. After initially staying on Vancouver Island, Canada, they then spent several months at Tyler Perry’s Los Angeles home before buying their own home in California.

High wages, ageing players, and repeated injuries make United’s squad unappealing for other clubs in the market

© AFP via Getty Images

Potter was installed at the London Stadium this week after the Hammers sacked Julen Lopetegui.

© PA Archive

This is the moment an LA live weather broadcast is interrupted by evacuation warning over the devastating wildfires.

© Fox Local

• Zenia Olivares has been customizing her New Jersey home for the last two years.
• She decided to add a partial wall to her open-concept living room to break up the space.
• Olivares said the new wall made the area more functional and aesthetically pleasing.

Zenia Olivares wasn't a fan of the shape of her living room when she bought her home two years ago.

Olivares, 34, lives in a 1935 bungalow in New Jersey with her husband and their two dogs. She's a full-time content creator, documenting how she has transformed her 2,800-square-foot house into the perfect home for her family on her social media pages.

"It's got a lot of original charm," Olivares said of her six-bedroom, three-bathroom house. "We've got the original Douglas fir floors and some of the original baseboard and trim, but there has evidently been a lot of stuff done to the house."

"It was updated in the '70s and the '80s and in the '90s, so there are layers upon layers of things that I've found just working on the house itself," she said. "It's like an onion."

Olivares' goal has been to make her home feel comfortable with vintage and transitional influences. She described her decor style as "real cozy," saying it "feels like a hug."

She's transformed nearly every space of her house, telling Business Insider she knew there was one room she definitely wanted to change when they bought the house: her open-concept living room.

The open-concept living room didn't feel right

When you enter Olivares' home, you're greeted by the living room, which was initially a large rectangular space. All of the other rooms in the house are nearly perfect squares, so the length of the space felt out of place to Olivares.

"The living room was too long, and it didn't quite make sense with the layout of the house and how everything else was," Olivares said. "It felt disconnected."

"I thought, 'What if I built something to separate the spaces?'" Olivares said.

She told BI she went back and forth about the idea as she and her husband continued to work on their home, as she wasn't sure a wall would work as the house changed.

Olivares revamped her fireplace and added columns to the ceiling, but she still felt like the living room was the wrong shape.

"I tried doing furniture as a divider, but it didn't quite work with the positioning of the door," she said. "I couldn't let the idea of a wall go."

Olivares isn't alone in her desire for separation in her home. The trend of open-concept living has become less popular in recent years, and realtors are seeing more and more people find ways to enclose rooms in their homes.

In mid-2024, Olivares decided to make her dream a reality, working with a contractor friend to build a partial wall in the middle of the living room.

Olivares used a partial wall to break the space up

Olivares knew she didn't want to fully close off the space to the right of her front door. Instead, she decided to add a partial wall, often called a pony wall, with columns.

She told BI she wanted to keep the "open feeling" of the large room but hoped the partial wall would create division.

"I also like the idea of being able to visually frame the stairs," she said.

Olivares and her friend worked together to add a large beam to the ceiling, to which they attached tapered columns connected to a pony wall below.

They made all the pieces themselves, also creating molding and staining the wood a darker hue that fit Olivares' vision.

Olivares also mocked up the new wall using cardboard boxes before they started any work to ensure she liked the look, which she recommends to anyone doing a similar project.

Because she didn't hire someone to work on her home, Olivares said adding the wall and columns only cost around $830. It also wasn't too time-consuming; building, installing, and staining the wood took just over a week.

She said adding the column to the ceiling was the most challenging aspect of the project.

"The ceiling is original plaster, and it is not in any way level whatsoever," Olivares said. "And it's overhead work, so that's going to hurt your shoulders and your back."

"It took me and my contractor friend an entire day to get that up there and for it to look as good as we could get it," she added.

The hard work was worth it for the final look.

Olivares loves the separate spaces

Olivares told BI she was able to bring her exact vision to life.

"I love it," she said of the pony wall. "I smile every time I walk through the living room, and everybody has to walk through the living room to get to one side of the house or the other. It's beautiful to look at, and it makes the spaces make sense."

"It makes it flow," she added. "It makes it function, and it looks right."

The functionality the new wall brought to Olivares' home has been a huge benefit of the addition. For instance, the wall created an area for Olivares to put her keys down when she walks through the front door.

Likewise, she placed her Christmas tree for 2024 in the corner next to her staircase, and the new wall helped to make it feel like a dedicated space.

She also plans to add a buffet bookshelf to the wall next to the stairs to make the new room feel even more intentional down the road. Looking at the wall, Olivares knows adding the barrier was the perfect choice for her home.

"Sometimes open-concept is a little too open," she said.