• I took the Lake Express ferry across Lake Michigan from Milwaukee to Muskegon, Michigan.
• I booked the premier cabin tier for $279, but ended up driving home because I got so seasick.
• I didn't get to enjoy perks like more spacious seating or table service that came with my ticket.

As I looked up at the ceiling of the Lake Express ferry, lying on the floor while cradling a barf bag, I realized I'd made a mistake.

I grew up boating on smaller lakes around Wisconsin, so I thought I'd be fine on my ferry ride from Milwaukee to Muskegon, Michigan. After all, I was cutting my travel time in half by crossing the lake instead of driving through four states.

I didn't anticipate that as the fifth-largest lake in the world, Lake Michigan's waves can be just as powerful as the open seas. I'd splurged on a premier cabin ticket, but felt so seasick that I wasn't able to enjoy the perks.

I did enjoy some parts of the journey despite my motion sickness, but I definitely came away from the experience knowing that I'm not cut out for cruises.

Follow along on my Lake Express ferry trip across Lake Michigan.

Lake Express did not respond to a request for comment.

The Lake Express ferry transports passengers across Lake Michigan between Milwaukee and Muskegon, Michigan, in half the time it takes to drive.

Instead of driving around the lake, which can take about 4 ½ to five hours, the Lake Express ferry brings passengers and their cars across the water in about 2 ½ hours.

An adult round-trip ticket starts at $199 for the classic cabin and $245 for the higher-tier premier cabin. To bring a vehicle along as well, round-trip tickets start at $236 on top of the passenger fees.

I paid a total of $279 for my round-trip premier ticket without a vehicle, including taxes and additional fees.

I arrived at the Milwaukee ferry terminal for my 6 a.m. trip to Muskegon, which was scheduled to arrive at 9:30 a.m. local time.

Michigan's eastern time zone is an hour ahead of Wisconsin. Even though the trip only took 2 ½ hours, the time difference meant we'd lose an hour on the way.

When I checked in at security, the guard handed me a motion-sickness pill. That was the first red flag.

I'd checked the National Weather Service's Great Lakes Portal and found that waves were expected to be around 1 foot high throughout the journey, which didn't sound that bad.

Receiving free motion-sickness medicine immediately upon checking in made me feel a bit concerned about how choppy the waters would actually be. I took the pill to be safe.

All passengers waited in the same area, regardless of cabin class.

Unlike the Amtrak lounges available to first-class train passengers, there was no separate waiting area for those with premier cabin ferry tickets.

The waiting area featured free coffee for all passengers, a perk not usually offered on flights or trains.

There were also drinks, snacks, and souvenirs available for purchase.

When it was time to board, the lounge led straight out onto the dock.

An announcement told those traveling with cars to board first by driving their vehicles onto the ferry.

I was surprised by how spacious the classic cabin was compared to trains and planes that I've traveled on.

The classic cabin was laid out in clusters of eight seats around two tables, with a few tables on the edges ending up with more space.

Screens around the ferry showed the route, weather, and live feed of the outside.

The screens appeared in both cabins, showing our approximately 82-mile journey across Lake Michigan.

The concession stand was located at the front of the cabin for easy access to food and drinks.

Next to the checkout counter, condiment packets and plastic utensils were available for passengers to grab for themselves.

There were even fake flower pots decorating the cabin.

The faux flowers added a whimsical touch to the ferry ride.

The premier cabin featured even more space to spread out, with four to six seats to each table.

The ferry wasn't very crowded on my trip, so I got an entire table with four seats to myself.

The cabin included a cart with more free coffee.

There was also a screen with a credit card reader to order additional concessions.

Unlike in the classic cabin, each table came with a menu to order food and drinks while seated instead of waiting in a line at the counter.

Breakfast burritos cost $10 while sandwiches and pizzas ranged from $11 to $12. There was also alcohol available for purchase, including local beers such as New Glarus Spotted Cow and Miller Lite.

Outlets seemed hard to come by in both the classic and premier cabins.

Unlike newer plane and train models that have outlets at every seat, the Lake Express ferry only had outlets every few rows.

I enjoyed watching the sunrise on the lower deck as the crew prepared for our departure.

Even while docked, the up-and-down movement of the ship on the water felt stronger than I'd anticipated. I hoped that once we started moving, the motion would feel smoother.

I explored the upper deck as the boat pulled out of the terminal, but it was too cold to stay outside for very long.

A factor that likely contributed to my impending seasickness was that it was too cold for me to sit outside on the deck in the fresh air.

In true Midwest spring fashion, it was 44 degrees on that early May morning. Strong winds over the open water made it feel even colder once we started moving. I got a little bit queasy from the sensation of the boat pitching up and down, but focusing on the horizon and feeling the wind against my face kept it from getting worse.

I lasted about half an hour outside before I got too cold and returned to the warmth of the premier cabin.

The waves felt even stronger as the trip progressed, and my seasickness became debilitating.

The Lake Express crew was clearly well-trained and used to passengers becoming seasick. As soon as they saw me looking a little green, they provided me with ginger ale, ginger chews, saltines, anti-nausea wristbands, and sickness bags.

Even though I was having a rough time, I felt well taken care of.

On the bright side, the bathrooms were spacious and clean.

The bathroom looked similar to bathrooms I'd encountered on Amtrak, with a few additional touches like decorative tile and a trash can with a weighted lid to keep it closed as the boat rocked back and forth.

I'd been excited to enjoy the luxury of my premier seat. Instead, I spent most of the journey lying on the floor with a barf bag handy.

The premier cabin where I'd booked my seat was located in the back of the ferry, where the motion of the boat was stronger. I couldn't last more than a few minutes there without feeling like I was going to throw up.

A crew member told me that lying on the floor in the middle of the boat would help me feel more like I was swinging in a hammock or rocking in a chair. It worked. Kind of.

I spent the next two hours regretting the money I'd spent on a seat I wasn't even using, for perks that I didn't feel well enough to enjoy.

Land ho! I felt better once I disembarked in Muskegon, but the nausea and dizziness lingered throughout the day.

I managed to keep a few plain applesauce packets down around lunchtime, but had no appetite to eat anything else for the rest of the day.

In Muskegon, I spent the afternoon at the USS Silversides Submarine Museum with newfound respect for the conditions that sailors endured.

The Lyft driver who drove me from the ferry terminal to the submarine museum was a US Navy veteran himself. He told me that enlisted sailors often got seasick, too, which made me feel less pathetic.

"Some people I served with were just lucky — didn't get seasick at all, ate all of their meals," he said. "And some walked around with buckets."

When it came time to return home, I couldn't bring myself to get back on the ferry. I rented a car and drove home instead.

After a few hours of fresh air and fascinating World War II history, some of the color returned to my cheeks. However, I knew if I got back on the ferry, I would immediately feel awful again. The mere thought of being tossed around by the waves on the journey home made my stomach churn.

Unfortunately, since it was less than 24 hours before my return trip, my ferry ticket home wasn't refundable.

I shelled out $123.27 for a rental car from Muskegon's tiny airport and hit the road.

The drive from Muskegon to Milwaukee took about 4 ½ hours, but it was worth it to me.

The route took me down the Michigan coast, across Indiana and Illinois, and back up into Wisconsin, totaling around 300 miles.

I returned my rental car in Milwaukee and resolved to appreciate Lake Michigan's beauty from its shores in the future.

About one in three people experience motion sickness, and genetics are a determining factor, according to a 2015 study published in the Oxford University Press' Human Molecular Genetics.

The simple truth is that some people get seasick and some don't, and I do. Even though I took motion sickness medicine ahead of the trip, it wasn't effective enough to quell my symptoms.

If you're one of those lucky people who doesn't get seasick, the Lake Express ferry is a great option to cut across Lake Michigan for a shorter, more scenic trip than driving.

If you're a landlubber like me, learn from my mistakes. Don't spring for the more expensive cabin. Check the weather and wave heights ahead of time. And keep your options open for your return trip in case you end up on the floor.

• Tom Cruise, 62, said he wants to keep making movies until he's in his 100s.
• The "Mission: Impossible" star said he stays young by doing a range of activities.
• Working the mind and body, and maintaining a zest for life are common traits in centenarians.

Tom Cruise said he wants to keep making movies until he's in his 100s. If he stays as active and curious as he is now, he may well succeed.

The 62-year-old actor, who is best known for his adrenaline-fueled stunts in the "Mission: Impossible" franchise, said in 2023 that he was inspired by Harrison Ford, who still works at age 82.

But he told The Hollywood Reporter on Sunday: "Actually, I'm going to make them into my 100s. I will never stop. I will never stop doing action, I will never stop doing drama, comedy films — I'm excited."

"Mission: Impossible: The Final Reckoning," the eighth movie in the franchise that is out this week, sees him doing a lengthy scuba dive and wing-walking on a bi-plane, among other impressive stunts.

When asked how he stays young by Men's Health in 2023, he said: "Sea-kayaking, caving... fencing, treadmill, weights... rock-climbing, hiking... I jog... I do so many different activities."

Centenarians tend to be active and curious

Business Insider has spoken to many experts in healthy aging as well as healthy older people, including centenarians.

A common theme among them is keeping their minds and bodies active, including with new hobbies. One 2023 study based on interviews with 19 people aged between 100 and 107 published in the journal Journal of Happiness Studies identified eight traits in the centenarians. They included: being active, challenging your mind, taking commitments seriously, and being curious.

A person's chances of living a long, healthy life are partly down to their genetics and environment — and Cruise has more resources than the most to take care of his health and try new things. But research suggests that a person's diet, exercise, and lifestyle can have a significant impact on their longevity.

Joyce Preston, from the UK, who turned 100 in March, told BI that her morning routine included yoga or gentle exercise, and she also went on short walks.

Meanwhile, John Tinniswood, who died age 112 in November 2024, said: "Always do the best you can, whether you're learning something or whether you're teaching someone. Give it all you've got. Otherwise, it's not worth bothering with."

Some centenarians also prioritize diets of fresh, whole foods over processed ones. One 2022 study found that eating whole grains, legumes, fish, fruits, vegetables, and nuts could add 10 years to a person's lifespan.

Meanwhile, an expert in healthy aging previously told BI that 30 minutes of activity a day, particularly a mix of cardio and resistance training, could help prevent chronic illnesses.

• This post originally appeared in the Business Insider Today newsletter.
• You can sign up for Business Insider's daily newsletter here.

Welcome back! In case you missed it, our new newsletter, Tech Memo, written by the great Alistair Barr, launched on Friday. Check out the first edition here. And if you aren't already, subscribe here.

In today's big story, we're looking at Big Tech's obsession with cutting out middle managers and flattening their orgs.

What's on deck

Markets: When companies like Facebook and Zillow IPO, they turn to this man

Tech: How one of the hottest coding startups almost died.

Business: Gen Z is turning to blue-collar jobs.

But first, no longer stuck in the middle.

If this was forwarded to you, sign up here.

The big story

Flat techies

Technology can quickly become outdated, but it's a job title in tech that's an endangered species: the middle manager.

Big Tech is flattening its ranks to thin out layers of management in a bid to reduce bureaucracy, writes Emma Cosgrove, Tim Paradis, Eugene Kim, and Ashley Stewart.

Middle managers have had to keep their heads on a swivel for a while. At the end of last year, BI's workplace expert Aki Ito detailed Corporate America falling out of love with the role.

But the tech industry has taken the trend into overdrive, as is often the case. From Microsoft to Intel and Amazon, companies are shedding managers to make themselves as quick and lean as possible.

The biggest immediate impact of flattening orgs is managers overseeing more workers. Some argue that will limit micromanagement. Others say you'll burn out the managers who are left behind.

Big Tech is willing to take its chances, though.

As Amazon CEO Andy Jassy said last fall: "I hate bureaucracy."

"The goal again is to allow us to have higher ownership and to move more quickly," Jassy added.

Big Tech's middle-management purge speaks to a larger trend: Let the stars shine and get rid of anyone else.

Part of tech companies' efficiency push is to identify top performers and weed out underachievers.

With that approach, you could argue there is less of a need for managers. No weak links in the chain means managers don't have to do as much hand-holding. Get out of the way and let your top performers do what they do best.

This isn't a foolproof strategy, though. Someone being extremely capable at their job doesn't always correlate with them being an easy employee to manage. In fact, sometimes the opposite can be true.

But what other options do these tech giants have? The pressure from startups like OpenAI and Anthropic is undeniable. Their smaller size also gives them a massive leg up to move quickly.

And when it comes to AI, speed is the name of the game. Meanwhile, middle managers seem to only be slowing companies down.

3 things in markets

1. Trump's "Big, beautiful bill" could cause some big chaos. Market pros say the president's tax bill would add $4 trillion to the US deficit, stoking mayhem in the bond market. That means another Trump vs. bond market showdown could be headed our way.

2. Bankers tell startups wanting to go public: "Go, go, go." Startups like Hinge Health put their IPO plans on hold when Trump introduced sweeping tariffs. Now that the stock market has recovered, bankers are telling companies to go public while they still can.

3. This "hick from Ohio" is a big deal for IPOs. Pat Healy could be the forefather of getting stock exchanges to compete for the right to get a company to list with them. From free Davos advertising to NFL star appearances, here's how Healy lands companies major marketing perks.

3 things in tech

1. "Appstinence" is a virtue. Raised in the age of the smartphone, a growing cohort of people, mostly millennials and Gen Zers, are opting for dumb tech instead. As the evidence of our collective phone addiction adds up, even tech lovers are embracing the digital detox movement.

2. How Silicon Valley's favorite startup came back from the edge of disaster. StackBlitz was at death's door when Anthropic released its AI model Sonnet 3.5 in 2024. That led StackBlitz to create Bolt.new, a product that could write code based on prompts written in English — and the company's gold mine. BI's Alistair Barr has the full story.

3. Is AI coming for teachers? Duolingo CEO Luis von Ahn thinks so. On a recent podcast appearance, he told venture capitalist Sarah Guo that schools will still be necessary in an AI-driven future — but mostly just for childcare. He thinks AI will do the actual teaching.

3 things in business

1. Gen Z is dyeing white collars blue. The cost of college is skyrocketing, and the white-collar job market is unstable. That's led many young people to turn to trades instead, which can offer six-figure salaries and have a high demand for workers.

2. Selling a merger to Trump? MAGA-ify it. Cable giant Charter is merging with Cox, posing a bigger rival for Comcast. The merger still needs the green light from the Trump administration, and it seems like Charter is leaning into pro-American rhetoric to get it, BI's Peter Kafka writes.

3. LA investor Jessica Mah is in a legal battle with DGV investor Justin Caldbeck and two ex-employees. In a lawsuit, Mah has accused Caldbeck of sexually harassing her, which he denies. The lawsuits against Mah, meanwhile, accuse her of misusing company funds, harassment, and age discrimination, BI's Rob Price reports.

In other news

• No one seems to know if AI will take our jobs or make us productive superstars.
• Joe Biden was diagnosed with an 'aggressive form' of prostate cancer.
• Boeing was the real winner of Donald Trump's trip to the Middle East.
• I was an HR manager at Meta who helped guide the layoff process. Then they cut my role too — here's what being laid off taught me.
• We put Tesla's FSD and Waymo's robotaxi to the test. One shocking mistake made the winner clear.
• Trump's EPA is trying to reverse a Biden climate initiative that would have provided financing for new housing projects.

• Dairy Queen CEO explains what a job interview with Warren Buffett is like.

  ---

  What's happening today

• WNBA season begins.

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• The Business Insider Today team: Dan DeFrancesco, deputy editor and anchor, in New York. Hallam Bullock, senior editor, in London. Grace Lett, editor, in Chicago. Amanda Yen, associate editor, in New York. Lisa Ryan, executive editor, in New York. Ella Hopkins, associate editor, in London. Elizabeth Casolo, fellow, in Chicago.

Former President Joe Biden thanked his followers for their support in a Monday social media post after his office confirmed Sunday he has been diagnosed with an "aggressive" form of prostate cancer.

The big picture: The news of Biden's cancer diagnosis was met with a bipartisan outpouring of support as his personal office said he and his family are "reviewing treatment options with his physicians."

• According to his office, the cancer is "characterized by a Gleason score of 9 (Grade Group 5)," citing a grading system used for prostate cancer, "with metastasis to the bone."

Driving the news: Sharing a selfie with former first lady Jill Biden and their cat, Willow, the former president wrote, "Cancer touches us all."

• He continued, "Like so many of you, Jill and I have learned that we are strongest in the broken places. Thank you for lifting us up with love and support."

Zoom out: Biden was diagnosed on Friday after doctors discovered a "prostate nodule."

• In 2023, Biden had a skin lesion removed from his chest that was found to be cancerous, but it did not require further treatment.

Go deeper: What to know about Joe Biden's Cancer Moonshot

• Michael O'Leary is set for a 100 million euro windfall if Ryanair stock stays above 21 euros for a month.
• It's been there for 17 days, and rose again on Monday after reporting earnings.
• Ryanair's profits fell 16%, but passenger numbers were up and a big share buyback was approved.

The CEO of Europe's biggest airline is set for another shot at one of the continent's biggest windfalls.

Ryanair's Michael O'Leary stands to receive stock options worth 100 million euros ($113 million) if the Irish budget carrier's share price trades above 21 euros for 28 days.

The stock has done well recently, staying above that price since May 2. It added another 3.3% in Dublin on Monday to just over 23 euros, valuing the company at more than 24 billion euros ($27 billion.)

While it spent a few days at this level last March and April, this is O'Leary's most promising rally yet.

In Monday's full-year earnings, Ryanair reported profits of 1.61 billion euros — a 16% fall compared with the previous 12 months.

While it reached a record 200 million passengers, tickets were 7% cheaper. O'Leary cited consumer spending pressure and "a big drop off" in bookings from online travel agents, following a dispute with them.

The airline also warned growth would slow due to delayed deliveries of Boeing planes. Having fewer planes than expected also meant that staffing costs were 17% higher this past financial year.

Ryanair also announced a share buyback worth 750 million euros.

Analysts at Peel Hunt said the airline traded at a "significant premium" to its peers and they maintained a "hold" rating with a target price of 21.50 euros.

The Financial Times previously reported that O'Leary's bonus deal was supposed to expire last year before being extended until 2028.

The potentially enormous payout isn't without its controversies, as Ryanair is known for its ancillary fees of up to three figures for changing a name or for hold baggage. The airline is getting rid of paper boarding passes later this year, however.

Such fees allow it to keep airfares as low as $20, but on some routes, tickets can still cost hundreds of euros.

When The Wall Street Journal asked about the potentially huge payout in an interview last year, the Ryanair chief gave a characteristically outspoken response.

"If premiership footballers are earning fucking 20 million a year and [Kylian] Mbappé is being paid 130 million to go play football for fucking Real Madrid, then I think my contract is very good value for Ryanair shareholders," O'Leary quipped.

• Xiaomi boss Lei Jun said his company would start making its own mobile chips.
• He said his company was ready to spend billions of dollars on chip design over the next decade.
• It's an approach that its rival Apple largely popularized.

One of Apple's top rivals in China is taking a page out of its own book, again.

On Monday, Xiaomi's billionaire cofounder and CEO, Lei Jun, said that his company was implementing a 10-year plan to invest 50 billion yuan, roughly $7 billion, into chip design as it looks to make chips of its own for its smartphones. To date, it has relied on US firm Qualcomm and Taiwanese firm MediaTek for chips.

In a post to Chinese social media site Weibo, Lei said his company "made a major decision" back in 2021 to restart the process of developing its own silicon for smartphones after an initial effort in the previous decade faced setbacks.

Apple has largely popularized the so-called system-on-a-chip (SoC) approach, spending the past 15 years powering products like iPhones and Macs with its own silicon, which company executives believe gives their products an edge.

Lei also said on Weibo that the first chip from its new mobile efforts, Xring 01, would be unveiled on May 22.

"Chips are the underlying core track for Xiaomi to break through hardcore technology, and we will definitely go all out," Lei wrote, while acknowledging that his company had previously suspended its work on SoC research and development.

The move comes as Chinese companies increasingly seek to develop their own know-how and expertise in key technologies.

Lei said Xiaomi would chase "the latest process technology" as part of its ambitions for its renewed work on mobile chips. Chips for the Xring 01 will be developed using 3 3-nanometer process, Lei said, an advanced way of producing some of the most powerful chips.

He said that at least a decade of fresh investment would be needed, given "the difficulty of chip manufacturing."

"Xiaomi has always had a 'chip dream' because, in order to become a great hardcore technology company, chips are a peak that must be climbed and a tough battle that cannot be avoided," he wrote.

It's not the first time Xiaomi has looked to emulate a rival like Apple.

The Chinese firm, known primarily for selling smartphones, unveiled its first electric vehicle last year, a month after Apple ditched its multi-year effort to release its own EV.

• Former President Joe Biden has been diagnosed with "aggressive" prostate cancer.
• It's relatively easy to treat if caught early, but symptoms often don't show until it is advanced.
• Changes in how often you need to pee are among the signs that are easy to miss.

Former President Joe Biden has been diagnosed with "aggressive" prostate cancer that has spread to his bones, after experiencing urinary symptoms, his private office said on Sunday.

Prostate cancer is the second-deadliest form of cancer in men in the US, after lung cancer, and affects the gland that sits beneath the bladder and in front of the rectum in males. About one in eight men will get prostate cancer, but most will not die of the disease, according to the American Cancer Society.

It is a somewhat paradoxical disease: when caught early, it is often curable — but symptoms typically don't appear until it's more developed and harder to treat.

When found at more advanced stages, treatment options are more limited, and at stage 4, which is where the cancer has spread from the prostate to other parts of the body, "treatment won't cure your cancer, but it can help keep it under control and manage any symptoms," Chiara De Biase, director of health services, Equity, and Improvement at the charity Prostate Cancer UK, told Business Insider.

Biden's team has not shared what stage of cancer he has or his prognosis, but said it was "hormone sensitive," meaning it uses hormones to grow and has the potential to be managed with drugs that block hormones in the body.

Easy to miss symptoms of prostate cancer include changes in how a person pees

Changes in urinary habits tend to be the earliest sign that a person has prostate cancer. If the tumor grows near and presses against the tube we urinate through (the urethra) it can change the way the person pees. But early prostate cancer usually grows in a different part of the prostate away from the urethra, so it doesn't tend to cause symptoms until much later.

Changes in how a person with prostate cancer pees can include:

• Difficulty starting to pee or emptying your bladder
• A weak flow when you pee
• A feeling that your bladder hasn't emptied properly
• Dribbling urine after you finish urinating
• Needing to pee more often than usual, especially at night
• A sudden need to pee or sometimes leaking pee before you get to the toilet.

It's important to note that these changes can also be a sign of a common non-cancerous condition called enlarged prostate.

If prostate cancer spreads, other symptoms can include:

• Back pain, hip pain or pelvis pain
• Problems getting or keeping an erection
• Blood in the urine or semen
• Unexplained weight loss
• Weakness or numbness in the legs or feet, or even loss of bladder or bowel control, from cancer in the spine pressing on the spinal cord

Men are diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age of 67, on average

Biden is 82. The ACS recommends that men with an average risk of prostate cancer consider getting screened at age 50. The test involves taking a blood sample and checking for higher-than-normal prostate-specific antigen levels.

"It's so important for men to know their own risk, and what they can choose to do about it," De Biase said.

• I wanted to sign my kids up for after-school activities because I didn't do many when I was young.
• But when I had kids, it felt overwhelming.
• At first, I felt guilty, but I realized being present with them was enough.

Growing up, I hardly participated in any activities after school. I did cross-country for a bit until I injured my ankle too badly to continue, and I tried cheerleading for a few years in elementary school, but that was it.

When I got pregnant, I told myself that I was going to be the mom who signed her kids up for everything. I was thinking about dance classes, gymnastics, instruments — the works. But when the time came and I had three girls, that's not what happened.

We tried ballet lessons for a few months, but it was exhausting

My girls did ballet lessons for about five months before the pandemic hit and in-person activities were shut down, and it was exhausting. It was just one activity, and I was still in over my head. When it restarted again a year later, I hid my face every time I saw the instructor, praying she wouldn't ask when we were coming back.

The kids didn't seem to miss it, and I sure didn't miss rushing them home from school to get dressed just to race to the studio and then stay up all night doing homework. We did that routine three times a week. Weekends? Swamped with studying and catching up.

While my friends' kids and their peers were zipping off to karate or piano or STEM camp, mine were at home with me — watching movies, helping with dinner, or just lying around doing nothing in particular. At first, it didn't feel like a choice; it felt like a failure to keep up because I was overwhelmed. Not in a dramatic, falling-apart kind of way, but I was constantly tired in that quiet way no one really sees. How did anyone else find the time to do that stuff?

Between freelance work, co-running a household, and trying to be emotionally available to my kids, adding even one more thing felt impossible. I kept telling myself, "Next month, I'll sign them up for something." But then the month would pass, and then another, and I hadn't done it.

I watched other parents juggle it all and wondered if I was falling behind

My husband and I often discussed whether there was something else we could be doing. I'd scroll through photos of other people's kids taking swim lessons or playing weekend volleyball games and feel a gnawing sense of inadequacy. Other parents seemed to be juggling so much — and doing it well. I felt like I was letting my kids miss out on something essential, some rite of passage that would make them more confident, social, or well-rounded.

Sometimes I'd ask my oldest if she wanted to join an activity, and she would shrug. "Maybe," she'd say. But there was never a strong yes, and I didn't have the energy to push it. The idea of finding the right program, coordinating drop-offs and pick-ups, and buying the gear was all too much. So I did nothing.

And that nothing started to weigh on me.

Was I lazy? Uninvolved? Selfish? Was I doing my kids a disservice by not filling their calendars the way other parents did? I didn't know. We had already established our own little family traditions, but I also wondered if our kids would be less cultured than others if we didn't get more active.

I've started to see that the way I'm parenting is good enough

Over time, I've started to see that being present was enough. The shift didn't come all at once. It came slowly — in bedtime conversations, in shared jokes, in the way my kids still came to me for comfort or to tell me about their day. I realized they weren't lacking anything in those moments. They weren't counting missed soccer goals or music lessons; they were counting on me.

We made cinnamon rolls together, my husband took them on long walks, and they talked about everything from how digestion works to their biggest fears. I was there when they woke up and when they went to sleep. I knew their friends' names, their favorite snacks, and that "Roys Bedoys" was the funniest cartoon to them. I didn't need a calendar to tell me I was showing up, because I just was.

There's this pressure to perform parenthood. It feels as though you've got to post the carousel of photos filled with every milestone and accomplishment, as well as the hustle of it all from day to day. But the quieter stuff — the long hugs, the shared silence, the way your kid looks for you in a crowded room — doesn't get a certificate or applause. It matters just as much, though.

I still sometimes wonder if I should be doing more, and maybe one day I will. But for now, though my kids may not have a full extracurricular résumé, they have me, and I'm finally starting to believe that's enough.