• Wenjay Sung created a trust to ensure his stepchildren and biological child will be protected.
• Sung's decision was influenced by his brother's death without a will, which caused probate issues.
• The trust includes a $3M house, a $1M practice, and $800K in retirement accounts split among the kids.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Wenjay Sung, a 45-year-old physician in Pasadena, California. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My wife, Su Sung, and I were both previously divorced. We connected through our shared experience of the trauma and hardship of our experiences. Six months after meeting in 2018, we got engaged.

I went from being a single guy in Los Angeles to a dad almost overnight. Her children from a previous marriage, Mckyle and Alicia, were 11 and 9.

I love being married again and becoming a father to my stepkids — I consider them my children. They call me ba, which means dad in Mandarin Chinese. I drop them off at school, attend PTA meetings, and meet with their teachers, counselors, and friends' parents.

When it came time to write my trust, I wanted to leave my assets to them as if they were my biological children.

In 2019, we had our son, Eddie

We weren't planning to have another kid. At the time, my wife was 38, and she didn't think she could get pregnant again. It was so joyful to add Eddie to our lives.

Although my stepkids don't share my last name, I love all three of my kids and decided to divide my assets equally among them.

I have a lot of assets, as does my wife — she's a nurse practitioner in aesthetics.

I put together a trust at age 40

I wanted to make sure my kids would all be protected. My baby brother died of an overdose. He didn't have a will or trust, and his case is still in probate. The courts are backed up, and it's a mess. We don't want our kids ever to have to deal with that.

We placed our assets inside a living trust and equally split everything, including a $3M house, a $1M doctor practice, and $800,000 in retirement accounts.

I plan to max out all the kids' retirement accounts and HSA accounts annually. If the economy grows, those accounts should continue to grow.

The older kids didn't care much at first

When we first told the older kids about the trust, they said, "Okay, whatever," and returned to playing video games. More recently, we discussed the trust with them again, and Mckyle appreciated that it was split equally among all the kids.

Alicia said poignantly, "The ability to leave behind a piece of yourself with those you trust to carry your name is the reason for life."

In 2024, I had a health scare

I went in for a routine physical, and my doctor said after 40, I should get a "coronary calcium score" since I have a family history of a heart attack on my dad's side.

Afterward, further tests and scans were recommended, and what is commonly called the "widow maker" was found to be a blockage to the LAD, one of the main arteries that supply blood to the heart muscle. The nickname is due to its lack of symptoms when blocked, sometimes resulting in men suddenly dying from massive heart attacks.

Immediately after the results, I went to the ER, and my cardiologist recommended an angiogram. He removed a 90% blockage. It's scary, and I could've died if we didn't catch it. It brought to reality that life is very short.

I'm not planning to retire. Retirement will bore me, and I feel like I'll just die quicker if I stop working. As a doctor and owner of my own practice, I can work for the rest of my life.

Life can be fleeting

Anything could happen to any of us. We wanted to impart that information to our children.

We've worked hard for our professional success, and we wanted them to understand that the trust means they will be provided for if anything happens to us. They now understand the importance of having assets.

• William Harrington became a stay-at-home dad to support his wife, Heather's, career growth.
• Heather's career in digital management outpaced childcare costs, which prompted the decision.
• When they married in 2022, William took her last name. He now helps her with her company.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with William Harrington, a stay-at-home dad from Lewisville, Texas. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I met my wife, Heather, through mutual friends in 2010. I was 19 and homeless, and she, at 21, was raising two small children on her own. When she offered me a place to stay, what started as kindness blossomed quickly into love after just two weeks.

Heather's children immediately became a cherished part of my life. I went from not having much in the world to being a young stepparent. As a stepkid myself, I wanted to provide the permanency and stability I lacked while growing up. Heather was waitressing at the time while she taught herself to code.

She now supports our entire family of five, and I stay home to care for the kids and run the household.

By the time we had our third child, one of us needed to stay home

In 2012, after two years together, I got a job as an opening manager at Sonic, working 55 to 60 hours weekly.

Shortly before that, my wife landed her first big job as a digital experience manager at an advertising agency.

Around this time, she got pregnant with our youngest. We weighed the childcare options versus my pay and my wife's, as Heather earned more, and childcare was more expensive than what I made. As Heather's career was quickly ascending, we decided it would be best if I quit my job and stayed home.

Running a house is constant work

At home, I ensure the kids get to school and all their needs are met, and I take care of all house chores and cooking.

Many people in my life imagine I've got all this free time and am doing nothing. Family can be particularly judgmental. Once, a relative asked me, "When will you be a man?" Navigating societal expectations and stereotypes about gender roles can sometimes feel like an uphill battle.

It's hard to be your own cheerleader sometimes with that criticism. Social isolation can also be challenging, as my daily environment doesn't provide the adult interactions I once had in a traditional work setting. When I reflect, I remember my fantastic relationship with my kids, which is stronger than anything I had with my parents.

In March 2017, we bought our first house

Over the next few years, Heather quickly moved from manager to director to vice president and eventually chief digital officer of two companies.

Buying our first house was a significant milestone because I was the first grandchild in our family to own a home. It was such a gift to our children to move from a two-bedroom apartment into a four-bedroom house.

My wife has made six figures for the past seven years, and it covers all our expenses and then some. Having all your bills paid is a unique feeling, but I'm also starting to build a new career path.

In 2019, I started massage school part-time and got my degree. I've always been interested in how the human body works and felt connected to healing.

We married in September 2022

I admire her so much that I even took her last name.

In 2023, Heather started her company, Level Up Digital, a marketing and technology development agency.

In addition to my massage work, I've been helping by learning to build websites, write blog content, and manage digital property. I've never been great at managing money, so I give any funds to my wife so she can handle it wisely.

Working together has been smoother than I expected. It doesn't mean it's always easy, but we check in, take breaks, and make time for our family. I've gained new titles and credibility in the eyes of those who judged me for being a stay-at-home dad.

Home life now is fantastic

Since Heather works from home, we can balance cooking and parenting. As the kids get older, I want to open my own business and brand for massage therapy. I'm most excited about joining in and helping Heather with her business.

We're so happy to be able to give our kids every opportunity they deserve, and I'm excited about the future of Heather's growing agency.