• Lucy Moon, an influencer from London, wanted to drink less but worried people would think she's boring.
• She upset a loved one while drinking and decided she needed to change.
• Her health, performance at work, relationships, and mental health have greatly improved, she said.

Lucy Moon doesn't remember her first drink, but knows that she has never been able to drink "normally."

"I felt like I was trying to fool everyone into thinking I was a normal drinker, when really I would watch everyone's glasses to work out when the appropriate time would be for me to have my next drink," Moon, a 29-year-old fashion and lifestyle content creator from London, told Business Insider.

"I was thinking about alcohol a lot of the time. I was drinking every day, and I couldn't even imagine taking two days off," she said.

Three years ago, Moon decided to go sober after upsetting someone she loved while drinking. She joined the Gen Zers and millennials who are drinking less than past generations, in a trend that is improving people's health — and profits for non-alcoholic bars.

Moon said her life, in and out of work, is "much better" now she's sober.

Going sober benefited Moon's career

As an influencer, she attends a lot of press events with plentiful free alcohol, including Champagne or mimosas in the morning. She felt she needed to "be the life and soul of the party," so would never say no to a drink and was always the last person to leave.

"When I stopped drinking, I was worried I was going to be boring and awkward in work events, and thus maybe compromise my potential for making money," she said.

But she has had the opposite experience. She goes to just as many events, but knows that any worries she had about socializing were in her head and won't be fixed by alcohol. Plus, she remembers more of her interactions, which has helped her network.

Moon said she is also more reliable, particularly with her paid partnerships, and uploads content more consistently.

"My life is more predictable in a very positive way. I don't have blank spots in my memory, and I feel much more in control of my finances and my decision-making," she said.

Moon wasn't an "alcoholic," but couldn't drink "normally"

Moon prefers to describe herself as someone with an "alcohol problem" because she can't drink "normally" or safely, rather than an alcoholic, which carries stigma.

There were always "consequences" when Moon drank. She would often black out; lose her keys, wallet, and passport; spend more money than she had; or get lost and injure herself. After three or four drinks, she would forget what happened that night and wake up the next morning "filled with anxiety" that she'd upset loved ones or made a fool of herself.

"I'd come to and not know where I was," she said. "I was simply not in control. Once I had one drink, I lost the ability to be able to stop."

"Being young, there's this idea of 'Oh, well, things didn't get that bad for you.' But things got bad enough that I have enough proof that I can't drink safely. And if that were to carry on for another 20 years, it wouldn't be good," she said.

"That is ultimately why I gave up drinking when I was 26. I looked at those last five years, and I looked at how I was at 18 and I was like, 'Oh my god, I'm not growing out of this. Nothing has changed from the way I drank when I was 18.' And that's scary."

Getting sober was hard but felt like the only option

Moon knew she would struggle alone, so went to a local recovery group to find support to stop drinking.

"The first three or four months absolutely sucked. I was very low and just trying to get through day by day. It was a real struggle, but I just knew that if I got my head on the pillow sober at night, then that day was a success," she said.

By month five, things started to look up. But until then, she was motivated by her belief that it was her only option.

"My life had stagnated, and everything was really hard to deal with. I realized that drinking wasn't an option anymore if I wanted my life to improve. Drinking was causing pretty much all of the issues in my life, and I was the only person who could change that," she said.

She added: "My lips used to be chapped all the time, and I used to lose my voice — now they're both rare. I was nearly always ill, and now I get sick much less frequently.

"My relationships have developed and grown in such a beautiful way. And I don't wake up with crippling anxiety every day."

• I met my partner when I was seven years sober.
• Although I was far into my sobriety journey, some of his drinking habits triggered me.
• I told him my concerns, and we built a relationship on open communication.

I met my husband a few days after my seventh sobriety anniversary. I don't even remember when I first told him that I no longer drank because it simply wasn't a big deal for me by that point.

I'd lost any lingering embarrassment over being someone in recovery. My now-husband must've taken the news in stride; otherwise, I'm sure I would recall that first sobriety conversation better.

But as we got more serious, I realized we needed to have harder discussions. Some of those are more memorable because I had to be more vulnerable, and his response, if negative, could have ended our relationship.

My then-boyfriend started to trigger my addiction

Because of my history with addiction, I am aware of my boundaries to avoid relapse. For example, in the first year of sobriety, I couldn't live in a home with alcohol. It was too early for me and too scary to have temptation that close.

With time, things got easier. A year into sobriety, I was less easily triggered and moved in with a friend who kept bottles of wine in the house. I didn't ask her to remove them; I had enough discipline and trust in myself at that point.

When I met my husband, I could handle most bars and parties without being tempted. Having a partner who drank wasn't a dealbreaker for me, but I still needed boundaries within the relationship to protect my sobriety.

I realized some situations were triggering me as our relationship developed. It wasn't easy to share that a situation tempted me after all that time without drinking. But my sobriety had been too hard-won to risk skating over the issue.

I shared how going out to dinner was difficult because he ordered cocktails every time, and the frequency was too much for me. I also let him know I was uncomfortable seeing him tipsy and that it made me feel unsafe even though I knew he was safe. And later, when we bought our home, we went shopping for a liquor cabinet for him. It's not hard to have alcohol in the house, but bottles visible on the counter for long periods are more difficult for me.

In some cases, we struggled through these conversations. I couldn't even tell him why some things were more triggering than others. It took some back-and-forth to get to a place of understanding. He asked questions and did his best to listen and take action. This new territory was uncomfortable for both of us. But with every hard talk, we got a little better at it. And we always reached an agreement that felt like a step forward.

We now have a relationship built on open communication

Looking back, I can honestly see how helpful my sobriety has been in fostering our communication, forcing us to have some serious conversations early on. I had to be shamelessly vulnerable. My partner had to respond with empathy and action. I'm grateful he took me seriously.

We were also forced to dig deep and state our feelings clearly, including why some things rubbed me the wrong way. It was one of the best things that happened in building our relationship.

Here we are, four years later, married, and my 11th year of sobriety just celebrated.

No one should risk their sobriety for a relationship

I don't share my boundaries for anyone to compare their own. Everyone in sobriety has their personal level of need when it comes to distance or safety from substances. I've had weaker and stronger seasons, and my boundaries are mine. There's no shame in requiring an alcohol-free home.

If you've worked hard to get sober, don't risk something so precious to meet anyone else's standard. Ask for what you need to be healthy in your relationships.

My husband and I have discussed that if I go through a season of feeling more triggered, we would remove any alcohol from our home, and he would abstain completely. The level of support is there, no matter if the needle on the gauge changes. Some hard things can surprise you and turn into an advantage. It worked that way for us.