• Early on in our marriage, my husband and I decided to split the house chores evenly.
• He takes care of all the outdoor chores while I focus on the inside ones.
• We are more than happy to help each other out, but we have the final say over our domains.

Very early on in our marriage, my spouse coined the phrase "Outside mine, inside yours."

It has been our guiding principle. The saying meant he took care of all the outdoor work, and I handled all the indoor chores.

In other words, I could decorate however I wanted, and he didn't want any gruff about how short he was cutting the grass.

This mantra has worked for us for 10 years, and I think it's the key to happiness in marriage.

We separate our chores evenly

My husband tills the garden, plants, and schedules watering. He also cleans the chicken coop and fills their food and water containers. He chops wood, mows, mulches leaves, and does anything else that needs to be done. In winter, that includes salting and shoveling snow.

The "outside" part of our mantra also includes vehicle and camper maintenance.

We were gifted an antique metal set of monkey bars that he'll soon install in the backyard. Between that and his garage projects, it's more than enough to keep him busy. Our two young boys also enjoy helping with the outdoor chores.

As the trio tromps happily outside, I fold laundry and scrub dishes in peace — usually with an audiobook playing in my ear.

It helps us take ownership of our domains

We will ask for the other's opinion about a planned project, but ultimately, we have the final say in our own areas.

For example, we had a small rustic fence that my husband wanted to remove. I wanted to paint it and decorate it with antiques, but because the task was technically in his domain, he ultimately decided to remove it. I stepped back and let him handle it.

Indoors, I have often rearranged and ordered rugs, chair covers, etc., and he lets me without comment.

But we also help each other out when needed

Just because the indoors is my lane doesn't mean he's immune to inside tasks — or vice versa. I'm regularly asked to feed pets or help with the birds. Meanwhile, my husband helps with laundry and often cleans the bathroom.

Our arrangement is less about "I'm only doing this" and more about "You are the manager of this area." It removes the mental workload from the other's list and allows us to focus on one area. While I don't mind helping in the duck pond, it's nice that I don't have to remember when it needs to be done. In the same way, I'll often ask if he can clean the counters or fold the towels because it's on my list of what needs to be completed and not his.

My more flexible work schedule also affects what chores I complete and when. As I'm home more, it's simply easier for me to run laundry. However, he folds and puts his own away.

Winter also means fewer outside chores that need to be completed. Meanwhile, with four of us helping inside, the indoor workload is lowered for all.

This division helps us stay united

We end up with a fairly even set of tasks that also highlight our individual skills. By dividing and conquering the mental load of outdoor vs. indoor chores, we're able to get everything done with less stress and planning in advance.

It also shows our sons that gender-specific chores don't exist; it's about working as a team and putting your abilities where you're most talented. To really send this home, we rotate the chores that they are in charge of completing, whether it be putting dishes away, vacuuming, stacking wood, sorting laundry, or cleaning the garage. We focus on the fact that we all live under one roof, and a part of that is helping take care of the space, whether it's inside or out.

This setup helps my husband and I avoid arguments about one doing more work than the other. In this way, we are a team and happier for it.

• My kids never really listened when we would ground them or put them in time-out.
• However, we realized that docking their allowance made them improve their behavior.
• They also have a chance to earn back any lost money if they want.

As a mom to two boys who are only getting rowdier with age, I often repeat myself.

"Don't touch each other."

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"Is that appropriate?"

These are all things I say or ask multiple times a day, for behaviors they know are unacceptable: calling names, arguing, and standing on my antique trunk for the 4,000th time when that has never been allowed. It's as if they have cotton in their ears.

They are 7 and 5 and full of young boy behaviors, like not keeping their hands to themselves, loudness, constant messes, and more.

As they've gotten older and more ornery, my husband and I have had to get more creative with our parenting methods.

We dock our kids' allowance to get them to behave

The one move we have started seeing improvement upon is docking allowance. In $.50 increments, I'll pull funds from their weekly allowance. Fighting? Not listening? "Minus $.50! Minus $1!" No one has lost more than $1.50 in a single day because, for them, this method is enough of a deterrent.

There's something about the immediate disappointment of knowing you lost money and also not getting the full allowance later. It's the one-two punch that makes the rules stick. (Then, if your brother got his full allowance and you didn't? Even more heartbreak.)

When they lose funds, I write it down or text my husband, who oversees their allowance each Friday. They do have the chance to earn money back with additional chores. Picking up after themselves, listening, getting themselves ready to leave the house, and doing certain chores — those things are all expected and do not count toward earning power. That's what earns their regular allowance. However, anything they lost can be re-earned if they do additional chores.

Their base starts at $5 each week, and they can add to that whether or not they have been docked. This is also their spending money; they get to spend every cent while we handle savings behind the scenes; they know it exists but don't have much interest otherwise.

We started docking our allowance because time-outs and grounding them didn't work

We decided to start docking their allowance when we reached a point where what we'd been doing was no longer working.

For one thing, whenever their dad tells them to do something, they tend to listen more than when I'm giving the instructions. But of course, their dad's not always home, and I need to handle a lot of the parenting on my own. I am, after all, the primary caregiver, and their behavior (or lack thereof) is a direct reflection of me.

Grounding them worked, sometimes. The problem with it is that the punishment isn't immediate. And honestly, sometimes it's more of a grounding for me. I have to remember what they're restricted from doing, and then also remember to enforce it. When I'm already running on mental fumes, this is not ideal. To be fair, they are honest and will remind me what they are grounded from, but it's still something to remember.

Timeouts happen in the moment, but once it's over, their mood is unlikely to have changed. More often than not they went on to continue bickering or break another rule with their poor mood.

Docking our kids' allowance is fast and effective, and I can do it without raising my voice. We've been following this parenting tactic for the last several months and plan to continue it as long as it encourages good behavior with our kids.