• My son is in his first semester of college, and we never talked about a communication schedule.
• I don't want to reach out to him often because I want to give him space, so I wait for him to call.
• As an empty nester, I wish we could talk more, but I'm glad he's becoming independent.

Dropping my son off at college this fall was tough. Despite my best efforts, it was the most inelegant of farewells. I kept my sunglasses on, tried not to crumple completely, and waved goodbye as he set off for meetings on campus.

Then, I promptly found the nearest bench for a proper sob before catching the train back to the airport. Like I said, inelegant.

In the weeks since, I've adjusted fairly well to my empty nest. I've started redecorating my son's bedroom and am generally getting used to not having him under our roof. It's a transition, to be sure.

While his dad and I had a lot of talks with him in the lead-up to drop-off, one thing we didn't discuss was communication. So, I've been plagued with one question in his absence: How much is too much when it comes to keeping tabs on your college kid? Here's what I've learned.

I'm trying not to spam him

I didn't hear from my son at all that first long weekend. There were zero calls, FaceTime chats, or even texts. I was tempted to reach out but realized my discomfort wasn't worth spamming him.

I wanted my son to have fun, get used to his new college campus, hang out with his roommates, and not worry about how I was doing back home.

When he finally called me several days later, I was overjoyed. I could tell by the tone of his voice he was thriving and thrilled to be in his new home. I felt great, but once I hung up, I was uneasy and unsure when I'd hear from him again.

I put the ball in his court, so he's reaching out first

Many of my friends set aside a specific day or two during the week for a family FaceTime or call with their college kids. They were far smarter than me.

Because we never really formalized a comms plan, I still find myself hesitating when it comes to contacting my son. Don't get me wrong: When he calls, I immediately answer. When he sends a text, it often becomes an extended conversation. But almost always, he's the one initiating.

He knows his dad and I are always here and available, but we want him to become independent. That means respecting his boundaries and putting the communication ball in his court.

It's one of the hardest things to get used to as our relationship evolves, but it's a necessary shift.

There are other ways to connect

While we no longer speak every day, I've kept in touch with my son in other ways. I'll send occasional care packages or order an Instacart delivery to his dorm if he's running short on snacks.

I had a blast attending his parent's weekend a few weeks ago, especially when he showed me around his new campus. His father and I also dropped him the occasional card or letter via good old snail mail.

The bottom line is that he knows I'm thinking of him, even if we don't connect daily.

I remind myself that it's not personal

When I start feeling sad or overly nostalgic, I immediately snap back, knowing my kid is studying, writing, and growing into the person he's meant to be. He's busy, as he should be in his first year away.

I also remind myself about my own relationship with my parents; I certainly don't check in with either of them every day. This doesn't mean I don't love them or vice versa. It means I've long been an actualized adult, no longer dependent on them.

That's what he's becoming, too. In his case, he's made it clear he doesn't need constant parental contact getting in the way. I understand that, and I know it's not personal or meant to be hurtful. It's all part of the normal transition process from child to adult, making me all the prouder of him.

Even if I wish he'd call me a bit more often.

• When traveling home from college for the holidays, my son went to the wrong airport.
• I knew I had to teach my college-age kids some important travel tips.
• I now make them buy their tickets and ensure they have pictures of their IDs.

My 19-year-old twins are experienced travelers. Since they were born, we have traveled internationally and domestically on every form of transportation. So last year, when they were college freshmen and traveled for the first time without me, I assumed it would go smoothly. Well, you know what they say about assuming.

The Thanksgiving flights to and from college went OK since they traveled together. It was the December break when one of my twins had an issue.

Since their last final was a week apart, they decided to fly home separately. I had booked their airfare since I had airline miles. I sent my son the ticket and told him all the information, but he must not have been listening.

When he got to the airport, he tried scanning the ticket, but it didn't work. After calling home, I realized he was at the wrong airport. He went to the same airport he flew from for Thanksgiving without knowing there were two airports in New York City. He took a $80 cab ride to the other airport and made his flight, but that was a costly and nerve-racking mistake.

We learned a lot that first year, so I was forced to teach my college students these five tips so they could make it home safely for every holiday.

1. Let your college student book their own tickets

When I told other parents about my son's travel mishap, they suggested that my kids book their own transportation. Not only will they pay better attention to where and when they are traveling, but this will also help them be more responsible adults who are less dependent on their mom.

An added benefit is that they will be more mindful of the cost of travel. That's all part of the college experience, right?

2. Take a picture of their passport or license

My twins have photos of their licenses and passports on their phones in case they forget or lose them. So far, they haven't, but it's helpful to have a backup.

I've also taught my kids a few important lessons about identification and traveling: First, always do a 360-degree sweep of any area before you leave. For example, if you are getting up from your seat in the waiting area, you should turn around and search the area before moving on to the next one.

Another suggestion is to check for important items like your wallet, ID, and phone several times while (and before) traveling.

3. Tell them to arrive early to allow for mistakes

When my son went to the wrong airport, he made his flight mainly because he got to the airport two hours early. The other airport was over 45 minutes away, so he didn't have much time, but it was enough to get there.

The flights at both airports were full, so I don't think he would have been able to fly that day if he didn't make that flight. Arriving early helped him correct the mistake and catch the flight.

4. Discuss safety tips when using ride-shares

So far, my twins have taken their college campus van to and from the airport. This is a safer and less expensive option than rideshare since the college has vetted the drivers who are college students. Your college student can check with their school to see if they offer similar transportation options that might be safer and less expensive than public ones.

The one time my teen took the cab, I discussed safety issues like checking for an ID and asking about the cost and forms of payment. I've also discussed the importance of being aware of your surroundings and keeping your valuables secure.

5. Discuss all travel rules beforehand

Since my twins fly and don't check luggage, they can only pack drinks that are 3.4 ounces or less, and I remind them about this to avoid issues. I don't want them panicked at the security line when they're told their toiletries are a violation.

If my kids are prepared and know everything they need beforehand, I hope their travel back home can go smoothly.

Hopefully, these tips will help your college student arrive home safely for the holidays and avoid costly mistakes.