• My now-husband was planning to propose to me at an ice rink, but I was too tired to go.
• He ended up proposing to me at home while we were watching TV, and it was perfect.
• Our laid-back engagement represents who we are as a couple.

"Can we please just go?" my boyfriend of four years pleaded with me. I had arrived home exhausted, asking if it was OK to cancel our plans that December evening.

It should have registered that it was odd behavior for him to be urging me to go ice skating. But I was clueless and depleted from a long workday — one of my last before the Christmas break. Even though I'd written this date down excitedly on the calendar a week prior, and despite the fact that the rink was inside our private building complex and just steps away, I can still recall the resounding desire I felt to stay home that night as I was walking home almost a decade ago.

"Let's just go tomorrow or another time," I said. My reply was met with a huff, which caused us to momentarily bicker. "You shouldn't cancel things last minute, it's not nice," he muttered under his breath. "What is wrong with this man?" I thought to myself.

It turned out, there was a reason he wanted to go ice skating

Thirty minutes later, I was in sweatpants, watching a random episode of "Seinfeld" on TBS. I basked in the simple joy that comes with crashing on your couch after a long day. It felt good to be home. Then, my partner suddenly made a stealthy movement from the couch to the floor.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, he sat before me with a diamond ring in his hand.

"Will you be my wife?" he nervously asked to my genuine surprise. Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza continued talking in the background as we embraced and got engaged. It was the episode when the guys pitched their show about nothing to NBC.

Private proposals are on the rise

A survey from 2021 found that women were increasingly disinterested in grand or public gestures when it came to being asked that big question. Instead, 66% of the 300 respondents preferred a private proposal. Yet, The Knot's recent report on engagement trends from 2024 showed that only 14% of couples had a low-key, at-home proposal. Though many couples do want a private place, home isn't usually the popular choice.

I was delighted when I heard about Tom Holland's laid-back proposal to longtime girlfriend Zendaya at home over Christmas. The news comforted me and brought some validation that a casual proposal could be special and romantic — even for celebrities.

Our engagement represented us as a couple

I loved my own engagement, even though I accidentally sabotaged a more elaborate idea. Though not planned, having it happen in our living room was more symbolic of our relationship than any forced, clichéd ice rink setting. I had finally found someone who ignited that feeling everyone wants to have about someone — he felt like home. Proposing inside our own home was only natural.

But it's more than that. I believe there's an intimacy in choosing this kind of engagement. It reflects the foundation two people need to make a lifelong relationship work.

As we celebrate our anniversary — our eighth year married, our first as new parents — I look back on everything we've done together. The adventures, but more importantly, the moments in between the minutiae of daily life. That's where the purest joy can be found.

Of course, we did replace that first couch. The navy fabric one my once boyfriend brought when he moved into my apartment. The one we sat on to make out and watch movies. The one we were on that cozy night in 2015, watching "Seinfeld," when my perfectly imperfect engagement occurred.

It was small, past its prime, and overstayed its welcome the way any piece that brings comfort does. When we grew up and got married, we finally outgrew the loveseat. In its place, a more grown-up, brown leather L-shaped couch now sits. One large enough for sleeping dogs, playful babies, and lazy days doing absolutely nothing.

• Co-leading DOGE means Elon Musk is spread increasingly thin.
• Tesla shareholders told BI that Musk's position could help reduce regulatory red tape for the EV giant.
• Others said Musk proved his ability to multitask and DOGE has an expiration date.

With his new role co-leading the Department of Government Efficiency, Elon Musk has another plate to keep spinning — and many Tesla investors aren't fazed by his new area of focus.

Business Insider spoke to more than a dozen Tesla shareholders and analysts about the billionaire's new role with DOGE and how they think it could impact the company.

Many said they aren't worried that Musk is juggling more — and that the CEO has proven himself a capable multitasker.

Questions about the amount of time Musk spends on Tesla have swirled in the last year, including at the EV maker's annual shareholder meeting, where the CEO's pay package was approved for a second time (more on that later). The serial entrepreneur is also involved with SpaceX, The Boring Company, Neuralink, xAI, and X.

With DOGE, Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy vowed to slash the federal budget and cut wasteful spending. They've also pledged to restructure federal agencies, or in some cases eliminate them, with the goal of improving efficiency.

It's no small job.

Musk's work with Trump could benefit Tesla

Some of the shareholders BI spoke to said they believe Musk's involvement in the Trump administration could help reduce the regulations that Tesla must navigate, paving the way for technological advancements and generally making life easier for the company.

Anthony L. Gurino, a Tesla shareholder from Long Island, said he sees Musk's position easing the "red tape around autonomous driving." The technology is currently approved on a state-by-state basis and Musk has said he'd push to create a national approval process for fully autonomous vehicles.

Patrick O'Connell, a Tesla shareholder who started investing in 2013, said he went "all in" on the stock in 2019. He told BI he hopes Musk's new role will ease regulations and could help with brand awareness.

Philip Engberg, a Tesla shareholder in Denmark, said that under the Biden administration, it seemed like there was a "lot of political will against" Musk's companies and the technology they were trying to develop.

Despite being the top EV seller in the US, Tesla was famously not invited to President Joe Biden's EV summit in 2021. When asked at a press conference if Tesla's exclusion was due to not having a unionized workforce, then-White House press secretary Jen Psaki said she would let people come to their "own conclusion."

"Now the outlook is that is completely gone," Engberg said.

Faced with increased competition and slowing growth across the EV market, Tesla reported its first year-over-year car sales decline in January. However, Telsa isn't the only car company to face declining sales, and the EV giant recently reached a new milestone, outselling Audi globally for the first time in 2024.

Wall Street appears optimistic about Tesla's fortune during the Trump administration. Tesla shares are up nearly 70% since the election, and some on Wall Street expect them to rise higher still. Morgan Stanley analyst Adam Jonas recently raised his price target from $400 to $430 and revised his bull case to $800.

Craig Irwin, a managing director and senior research analyst at Roth Capital Partners who recently changed his Tesla buy status from neutral to "buy," told BI that he estimates that "the pool of Tesla enthusiasts" has doubled since Trump's reelection.

"Right now, you have technology-oriented conservative fighters that are going to say, 'You know, I think Elon Musk is a cool guy — let's go see what this Tesla car is about,'" Irwin said.

Not all shareholders are convinced that Musk's affiliation with Trump will have a positive impact on Tesla. John VonBokel, a shareholder who voted against Musk's pay package the second time, said he "can't make sense" of why Tesla's share price has gone up so much.

"Certainly Trump is not going to go in there and write code to make FSD better," VonBokel said, referencing Tesla's Full-Self-Driving beta software, which requires drivers to be ready to take control of the vehicle at any moment. VonBokel said he sees it as a "classic situation of the market seems to think this is worth more than I think it's worth."

Charlie Redmond, a Tesla shareholder since 2017, told BI that he doesn't see the relationship with Trump lasting more than six months. He said the main benefit he sees from Musk's involvement would be convincing Trump to keep the EV tax break, which Trump has talked about getting rid of. Musk has also said he supports ending the credits.

Tesla shareholder and investing author Kiana Danial also said she sees the relationship likely falling apart at some point. If that were to happen, Danial said Musk has "always been unpredictable" and she believes any stock dip in the short term could be regained.

'Musk has shown that he can multitask brilliantly'

Some of the Tesla shareholders told BI they believe the second shareholder vote approving Musk's pay package galvanized support for him as the company's leader. Engberg told BI he thinks retail shareholder support "is the greatest it has ever been."

"Musk is Tesla, and Tesla is Musk," Wedbush analyst and Tesla bull Dan Ives told BI, adding that the court battle has "become a soap opera" and he expects Tesla to win its appeal at the Supreme Court level given "overwhelming" shareholder approval of the pay package.

In addition to some shareholders being invigorated by the Tesla shareholder vote and Trump's victory following Musk's endorsement and fundraising, a majority of the investors and analysts BI spoke to said Musk has proven his ability to take on multiple projects at once.

"Musk has shown that he can multitask brilliantly," said Irwin of Roth Capital Partners.

David Abrams, a Tesla shareholder who started investing in the company about three years ago, told BI he thinks Musk's involvement in politics could have some level of impact on his focus on the company. However, he said Musk has "proven over the years that multitasking is one thing that he is undeniably good at."

"He keeps throwing stuff under his plate and you would think at some point the focus would go away," Redmond said.

Abrams said that while Musk may be spread thin, his companies likely have enough people in place that they can "largely run on their own." Other shareholders also said that at this stage of the company, Musk doesn't need to be involved in every step.

"Elon's an important leader, but it's about delegating and he's really good at that," Tesla shareholder Larry Winer told BI.

Tesla and Musk did not respond to a request for comment from Business Insider.

Alexandra Merz, a staunch Tesla advocate and shareholder who goes by the username "TeslaBoomerMama" on X, said the company hasn't relied on his constant attention to run the business "for a long time."'

"He doesn't need to be the one opening factory doors in the morning," Merz told BI, adding that he doesn't turn "every bolt in every rocket" at SpaceX either.

Others pointed to DOGE's seemingly limited timeframe. Merz told BI that she is "in no way concerned" that Musk will be involved with the government for decades.

"Keep in mind that DOGE is set to expire on July 4, 2026," Tesla shareholder Cianna Swartz told BI.

Are you a Tesla shareholder? Reach out to the reporter at [email protected]

• Captain RK Smithley flies McDonnell Douglas DC-10 fire bombers for New Mexico-based 10Tanker.
• Smithley dropped red fire retardant over the Palisades and Eaton fires in Los Angeles.
• Mountainous terrain, winds, busy air traffic, and drones have complicated the mission.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Captain RK Smithley, a pilot flying McDonnell Douglas DC-10 widebody airliners converted into tanker planes for a New Mexico-based company called 10Tanker. The DC-10 is one of dozens of aircraft assisting in fighting the California wildfires near Los Angeles. His words have been edited for length and clarity.

I'm a third-generation ground firefighter who ended up in the air fighting fire, so my career has come full circle.

Starting at age 16, I spent 16 years as a volunteer firefighter in southwest Pennsylvania, where I'm from, before I became a pilot. I flew for World Airways in these same McDonnell Douglas DC-10s for 10 years and another 15 years in the MD-11, which is basically a modern version of the DC-10.

We're the biggest tanker fighting the California wildfires

To fight the California fires, 10Tanker has four DC-10s and two — ships 912 and 914 — here in San Bernardino at the old Norton Air Force Base. I'm on Ship 912. The DC-10 is a capable airframe for our size, at 420,000 pounds. We're dropping 85,000 pounds of fire retardant on our target.

It's a very good airplane for what we're doing — we're the largest tool in the Forest Service's arsenal because we're the biggest tanker out here.

January is an odd time for wildfires in California

This fire is unprecedented. In 10 years of doing this, I've never flown fire in the United States in January. Working fires in January usually means we're in Australia, Mexico, and Chile.

We're in the off-season. That's why all four of our DC-10s aren't here; the other two are in maintenance. Typically, we park our airplanes in October or November, and we'll do recurrent annual training in February and March before the first airplanes go out on contract in mid to late March.

We're one part of a large team

There are different contract tankers that fight fires. We're all on the same team, from the little single-engine tanker carrying 700 hundred gallons to us big ones carrying 9,400 gallons, and all the stuff in between.

I can't stress enough how much of an orchestrated team effort it is. We work as a team with the tanker base, with the mechanics who keep us rolling, the air traffic controllers to get us out there, the guys fueling the airplane, and all those retardant loaders. Some airplanes out here are what they call "initial attack qualified," which means they can go out with just aerial supervision orbiting over top, but we in the DC-10 have to have lead aircraft that we follow to guide us on the drops.

But at the end of the day, the real heroes are the guys and gals we're helping — the firefighters on the ground. They're the ones that we're there to support to the best of our ability so that they can help protect lives and property.

The 10Tanker flies a very specific mission

It's not as simple as flying over the fire and pushing a button and all the stuff comes out.

Helicopters are generally dropping water to directly attack the fires, but air tankers — or fire bombers as I like to call them — are designed to carry fire retardant, which is designed to build walls around fires to stop or at least slow down the fire so that the ground firefighters can get in there and get things under control. The retardant is colored red so that we can see it build lines and change angles on it.

We start our days at 7 a.m. — basically sunrise — at which time the airplane is prepped, ready, and fueled to go. How many flights we can wedge in between 7 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. depends on how far the fire is from the base, and how much daylight you have.

We flew four missions on Friday to the Palisades and six on Saturday. The record for 10Tanker is about 11 runs in a day, with a 20-minute reload time in between flights.

LA's weather and geography have been a challenge

These fires have been bad not only because of the destruction and the wind, but also because we're fighting fire while wedged into tight air space between the LAX, Van Nuys, Burbank, and Santa Monica airports.

The Palisades fire is around 24,000 acres; I've worked 300,000 and 400,000 acre fires that were massive compared to this one. But the destruction and air space and the 60 to 80 MPH winds kind of made this a cataclysmic event. Entire neighborhoods and towns burned until the winds died down enough for us to get in there and get to work. It's been a terrible situation.

We're threading needles, like going straight down the side of a mountain. The DC-10 is very capable; we yank and bank it around like a fighter. If we were flying passengers, these maneuvers would be considered an emergency descent.

If drones fly, we can't

Drones have been a big problem here in California. "If drones fly, we can't" is an axiom we use in aerial firefighting. Normally a drone will shut down an aerial firefighting effort.

At one point, we moved to a different section of the fire to get away from them so that we could continue to help save lives and property, along with the work that firefighters on the ground are doing to get this thing under control. We had a drone come sailing past our left wing on Saturday; the Super Scooper air tanker from Montreal got a hole punched into its wing because a drone ran into it.

The drones have to stop because they're jeopardizing our lives and safety in the fire traffic area. It's unacceptable. Get the drones out of there so we can do our jobs.

• Warning: Spoilers below if you haven't seen "Back in Action."
• Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz play former spies who have to save their kids from a villain in Netflix's "Back in Action."
• Director Seth Gordon told Business Insider he wants to cast a big name to play Diaz's father in a potential sequel.

Netflix's "Back in Action" follows Matt (Jamie Foxx) and Emily (Cameron Diaz), two former CIA spies who, after leaving the agency to start a family, are thrust back into the espionage game 15 years later when their cover is blown and their kids are kidnapped.

The action comedy concludes with a thrilling fight on London's River Thames where Matt and Emily save their kids — with the help of Emily's estranged mother, Ginny (Glenn Close), a gun-toting former spy — and the bad guy, Chuck (Kyle Chandler), dies in a fiery wreck.

In the final sequence, Matt and Emily are cheering for their daughter at her soccer game and appear to be back to living their normal lives.

But suddenly MI6 agent Baron (Andrew Scott) appears and informs Matt and Emily that they never found Chuck's body. They now want to enlist Emily's father to help them with the search. Matt is shocked, as Emily never told him about her father.

The ending clearly sets the stage for a sequel that will add another big name to this already star-studded potential franchise.

"I've got a couple ideas, yes," "Back in Action" director Seth Gordon told BI when asked if he has any actors in mind to play the father role. "I'm not going to say because who knows what's going to happen, but there's definitely a plan of what we could do."

It certainly would have to be someone who can have a playful rapport opposite not just Diaz and Foxx but Close, as the two characters have a history.

Gordon said the fun of developing the project was plugging in comedic elements of the family dynamic — Matt and Emily's son spending too much time on his devices, while their daughter lies about studying to go out partying with friends — around the action sequences.

"This came out of all these conversations I had with the producer Beau Bauman of what we deal with with our kids," Gordon said.

"I think what really works in the movie is you see this family deal with traditional family issues in their very specific and crazy way, so I think that would be a good thing to continue in the sequel," Gordon said.

He's already thinking about what else he could do in a potential follow-up: "What are some other life events that you got that involve the kids where things could haunt Emily and Matt from their past?"

"Back in Action" is available now on Netflix.

• This post originally appeared in the BI Today newsletter.
• You can sign up for Business Insider's daily newsletter here.

Welcome back to our Saturday edition, a roundup of some of our top lifestyle stories. Being ultra-wealthy might seem great in theory, but it doesn't come without issues. A therapist who's worked with clients worth at least $30 million shared the types of problems they often discuss.

On the agenda:

• Young adults with clean diets are getting colon cancer, and we're starting to understand why.
• Stylists share 7 items the rich and famous are actually wearing right now.
• "Friday Night Lights" star Taylor Kitsch paved his own way.
• Red flags to look for at fine-dining restaurants, from a high-end chef.

But first: Let's hit the slopes.

If this was forwarded to you, sign up here. Download Business Insider's app here.

This week's dispatch

Keep your tips up

Winter can be a drag for plenty of reasons. There's less daylight, cold weather, and your nose won't stop running.

But for all the downsides, the winter season comes with a big benefit: ski season.

With all due respect to pristine beaches and breathtaking hikes, there's something truly magical about getting first runs on a trail that just got a foot of fresh powder. (Growing up on the East Coast those types of days were few and far between, which only made them more special.)

Let's address the elephant in the room first. The sport is incredibly expensive. The gear and clothing alone can easily set you back a few thousand dollars. Then there is the process of getting to the mountain, staying there, and buying the lift ticket itself.

There are still ways to keep costs down. A trip to the slopes doesn't have to be a costly hassle. Just look at Amtrak's "Ski Train" from Denver to Winter Park.

Speaking of resorts, don't be fooled by the big names. One writer who has hit over 20 US mountains wasn't impressed by Brighton Resort, finding it too crowded. Arguably the biggest name in skiing — Vail Resorts — also has what we'll call a complicated relationship with the ski and snowboard community.

Not a skier? Not a problem. There are plenty of ways to enjoy yourself at some of the jaw-dropping accommodations on the mountain. And après-ski might translate to "after ski," but you don't need a lift ticket to enjoy the festivities.

It's also never too late to learn. For starters, I recommend reading my newsletter colleague Amanda Yen's great piece on the mistakes people make on the mountain. Otherwise, you risk being a "gaper."

One last thing: Show some respect to the ski patrol. Contrary to what every bad '80s movie has taught us, ski patrollers aren't the enemy. In fact, they're critical to the mountain and oftentimes have to work multiple jobs to survive living in costly mountain resort towns.

So get out there and have fun. Just don't jinx yourself by calling last run. It's "two with a wink."

Combating colon cancer

Colon cancer among patients under 65 is becoming alarmingly common. While a convenient explanation for the rise is diet and weight, doctors and lab scientists told BI the cause wouldn't be attributed to a single thing.

Other factors that defy genetics and lifestyle, like pollution, microplastics, and artificial light, are pervasive in our lives but difficult to study. Fortunately, with recent research and well-funded multinational studies, we're on the cusp of some big results.

What's really causing the disease?

Also read:

• A new report breaks down the alarming rise in cancer among working-age women

Styles of the rich and famous

Dressing like the moneyed set goes beyond flashy logos and designer brands.

BI asked high-end stylists what their wealthy and celebrity clients are wearing right now. Their answers: timeless silhouettes, minimalist details, and high-quality fabrics.

Quiet luxury continues.

Also read:

The clothes successful men always wear, from expensive athleisure pieces to designer denim

Taylor Kitsch pioneered his own path

After his breakout role as Tim Riggins on "Friday Night Lights," Kitsch was set up to become the next big thing. Then Disney's "John Carter" was a box-office flop.

Becoming the next blockbuster star wasn't Kitsch's main goal, anyway. Instead, he explored character-driven roles that he finds more fulfilling, like the opioid-addicted car mechanic Glen Kryger in "Painkiller" or his latest role as Isaac Reed in Netflix's "American Primeval."

Now, he plans to get his own project off the ground.

Fine-dining warning signs

Many high-end restaurants offer tasting menus, which include multiple courses and are often about more than just the food.

Telly Justice, the executive chef and co-owner of the fine-dining restaurant HAGS in Manhattan, told BI the red flags she looks for when selecting a tasting menu.

The menu can tell you a lot.

What we're watching this weekend

• "Severance": After three years, the twisty psychological thriller starring Adam Scott finally returns for season two on Apple TV+.
• "Back in Action": Cameron Diaz makes her acting comeback in a new Netflix action movie alongside Jamie Foxx.
• "SNL50: Beyond Saturday Night": Peacock's new four-part docuseries pulls the curtain back on the sketch comedy series with cast interviews and never-before-seen audition footage.

See the full list

What to shop

• Star-studded jewelry: We put celeb-favorite accessory brand Heaven Mayhem to the test after Hailey Bieber sent the internet spiraling over its affordable earrings. Spoiler alert: We're big fans.
• Sweater re-stock: It's a tough job testing out cashmere sweaters for men, but someone's gotta do it. See our picks for the very best.
• Dry January winners: We tested over 40 non-alcoholic spirits, wines, and beers to bring you a list of our favorites.

More of this week's top reads:

• The new Miss America said allowing winners to go public with their significant others is a good way to 'boost recruitment' for the competition.
• Millennials and Gen Zers are hooked on plushies — and that's good news for the toy market.
• I've been to 3 Alpine-style towns in the US. Each was charming and made me feel like I was in Switzerland.
• Exclusive: 'Back in Action' director recounts finishing the Netflix movie amid Jamie Foxx's sudden illness: 'A bit of a miracle.'
• Kate Middleton says she's in remission nearly a year after sharing her cancer diagnosis.
• I spent 48 hours in the 'top city to visit' in 2025. It was nice, but it definitely didn't live up to that title.
• The viral 'Wirkin' bags are disappearing from Walmart's online store. Here's why.
• BMI, one of the most popular ways of telling if you're a healthy weight, is bogus. Here's what to use instead.

The BI Today team: Dan DeFrancesco, deputy editor and anchor, in New York City. Grace Lett, editor, in New York. Lisa Ryan, executive editor, in New York. Amanda Yen, associate editor, in New York. Elizabeth Casolo, fellow, in Chicago.

• Raising my daughters as teenagers has been the hardest time of my life as a parent.
• They were sneaking out, skipping school, and eventually ended up in jail.
• When I got the call from jail, I wanted to rescue them but decided not to. It was the right move.

Having my two daughters was the best decision I ever made.

When they were kids, all the moments we had were special. However, kids don't remain kids forever, and their teenage years have been the hardest.

My girls hated school and struggled to keep their grades consistent. When they were 13 and 15, I got a call from their class teacher, who hadn't seen them in school for two weeks straight.

Still, I didn't enforce any hard rules or punishments because I felt that talking to them would have more of an impact than grounding them or revoking privileges. I was wrong.

We tried having open conversations with our kids about their poor behavior

My daughters weren't motivated to get an education because they never knew hardship growing up.

On the other hand, I grew up believing that a good education was the only way to a good job and a better life for myself and my family.

As any parent might, I tried to make them see why education matters and why going to school was the way to a brighter future, but they didn't see it my way.

"Dad, stay out of our business!" was their constant one-liner.

To add insult to injury, they would sneak out in the middle of the night and return early in the morning, thinking we didn't notice. It broke my heart many times.

My wife always wanted to take the harder approach, but I would talk her out of it for fear of pushing them even further away. In those situations, my wife and I did our best to sit down with our daughters to have open conversations.

After they were suspended from school, I got a call from jail

A month passed after that first call from their teacher. The second call came from the school principal, who said that both my daughters had been suspended for the rest of the term for poor attendance and causing trouble in school.

I considered going down and attempting to offer an explanation to the school but decided not to. I knew a suspension record on my daughters' school reports would affect their chances of college acceptance, but they had to learn.

They took the news as I expected, with a carefree attitude. They even said they were done with school.

A few weeks later, they got into trouble for drug possession. Granted, the drugs were found in their friend's car, but that did not save them from the law.

When I got that call from jail, I immediately wanted to go to their rescue and post their bail, but my wife and I decided it was best to let them take responsibility for their actions.

After spending some time in jail, my two daughters were sent to a court-appointed drug program for six months. We hoped the time apart would help all of us reflect, which it thankfully did.

That horrific experience caused my daughters to reconsider their actions. Change didn't happen overnight, though. It was a journey.

I'm finally enjoying parenting again

First, we had to forgive each other for the disappointment, the hurtful actions, and the things that were said in anger.

Over time, my daughters also had to make amends with their school and stay on track with their education.

Getting arrested was enough to inspire them to change their ways.

Now they're in college, and my daughters look back and see their experiences as a stepping stone to a better future.

Slowly but surely, they are turning into responsible adults and I'm enjoying parenting again after that dark phase.

• Psychologist Sue Verreault lost her Altadena home in the Eaton Fire in Los Angeles County.
• Several massive wildfires began raging across Los Angeles last week, destroying thousands of homes.
• Despite her loss, Verreault says she's continuing to work because her clients need her.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sue Verreault, a 55-year-old psychologist who lost her dream home in Altadena, California, in the Eaton Fire, which began on January 7.

Several massive wildfires, including the Eaton Fire and the Palisades Fire, have devastated parts of Los Angeles and Ventura Counties, destroying over 12,000 structures, likely causing at least 27 reported deaths, and leaving up to $275 billion in damage.

The following has been edited for length and clarity:

I found out about the fire on social media

I first became aware of the fires on Tuesday night when I got on social media and noticed that there was a fire coming down from the mountain ridge toward the foothills of Altadena where I live.

I have a family living in my back house, and we could see that the fire was behind our house, and there were other houses that were starting to catch on fire.

We knew that with the embers flying around, that it was any moment that we would be in danger. There was a lot of smoke. It was really bad, and with the winds being about a hundred miles an hour, it was a high risk.

And my three dogs were just so scared.

The only thing I could fit in my car was just my dogs, and what I could pack in my passenger seat.

There was part of me that thought, they won't let all these houses burn, it's going to be OK. I just need to get to safety right now, and we'll come back when it's safe.

It wasn't until after the fact, at 4:30 in the morning, that I got a "Leave now!" evacuation order. But it was too late.

After spending the night at a coworker's house, I tried to go to my house in the morning. Just while driving on the freeway, you couldn't see anything.

When I turned onto my street, I saw fire. I could only get about a block and a half away from my house. And then the smoke was touching the ground.

It was like a solid brick wall from the sky to the ground of just black soot and smoke.

I could see that there was no one there except for one firetruck. It was like a wasteland. I couldn't believe it.

I saw this pickup truck on fire on the side of the road, and I knew, I had the feeling then, that my house was gone and I couldn't go any further.

'This was our oasis' — and then there was cancer

My partner, Jamie, and I bought the house in 2008 for $760,000 and it was now worth about $1.6 million. When it was built in 1909, it was one of the main houses there in Altadena.

That home was our oasis.

We had a beautiful backyard, plants, a hot tub. We were doing gardening and renovations. We took in rescue dogs that needed help along the way because we had a half-acre. It was our sanctuary.

And then when Jamie got diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2010, she got sick pretty quickly, and the renovations stopped.

She was my everything, and then when she died, that house was my connection to her and my way of honoring her by continuing the renovations.

I left a lot of things behind, like my grandmother's perfume that smelled like her, and especially things of Jamie's that I cherish.

I had her clothes. I had her ashes in a necklace and partially spread in our backyard. That's gone. But she's in my heart. She'll always be there.

Last Saturday, my friends took me to see what was left of my house, and if there was anything we could salvage.

When I looked at my house, and I climbed my concrete stairs, and I saw the devastation — everything gone — and I saw my fireplace standing, I collapsed to the crowd.

I just felt desperation. I felt this deep, deep, deep, deep loss. And the first thing I thought of was Jamie.

I couldn't breathe. I was having a panic attack, and I was throwing up.

I put my savings into that house. That was my retirement. I put everything into that house. And because of all the upgrades I did, my mortgage payments are over $4,000 a month, and now I'm going to have to pay for rent.

That's really torturing me because I don't think I can afford to rebuild. I don't know what I should do because I may have to sell the land to not have to file bankruptcy.

I still feel like I need to go to work and help people

I'm 55 — I don't have much more time before retirement, and I'm starting over in a negative, so that's hard to even think about right now, especially when I've worked so hard just helping other people.

I work 14-hour days as a supervising psychologist for the LA County Department of Public Health, and then as a private practitioner in the evenings.

I went back to work on Monday. It's a good distraction and there's so many people that are in so much need right now, and in more dire need than I am.

I've been with some of these clients for a couple years, and this is also their pain because they live in these areas, or they're displaced.

So I just don't feel like I can stop working right now.

I want people to know that this will pass, and it'll make you stronger. It's a mindset. Only you can carry yourself through by asking for help — and accepting the help.

That was the hardest thing for me — people I didn't even know were giving me money to help me, and to accept that help was just really hard.

But it's the compassion of strangers that's giving me hope.

• I spent 15 hours in a sleeper car on an Amtrak Superliner train going from Denver to Salt Lake City.
• For $400, I stayed in a private cabin, which had two seats during the day and two bunks at night.
• The 23-square-foot space was cozy and full of space-saving hacks that made it feel larger.

Taking a sleeper train from Denver to Salt Lake City was more expensive than flying or driving — and it took a lot longer. But for a locomotive enthusiast like me, it was worth it.

In January, I took a 15-hour ride through the American Southwest on Amtrak's California Zephyr, an overnight train. I paid $400 to stay in a private, enclosed 23-square-foot space with two chairs and two bunks — also known as a roomette.

I found that 23 square feet is plenty of space for me to feel comfortable on a long journey. And with an efficient arrangement and a design that seemed to prioritize relaxation, I was far cozier than I am on flights and road trips.

On a cold morning in early January, I boarded the California Zephyr at Denver's Union Station.

Amtrak's Superliner is a two-story train fleet that runs on routes west of Chicago and New Orleans, including the California Zephyr. The cars are roughly 30 to 50 years old, and Amtrak plans to replace this fleet and others in the 2030s, Amtrak spokesman Marc Magliari told Business Insider.

For now, the train line is investing $28 million into interior renovations on long-distance trains, including new carpets, LED lighting, and a seating makeover in coach, communal, and sleeper cars.

Roughly 76% of the Superliner sleeper cars have been updated, and the rest are scheduled to be completed in 2025.

I was lucky enough to ride in a newly refreshed Superliner.

My ticket included lounge access, priority boarding, and three meals on board.

A roomette accommodation is a step above coach seating and a step below a bedroom, which is twice as large and includes a full private bathroom. Two steps above, a bedroom suite joins two bedrooms, providing four beds and two bathrooms with showers.

The train also has family bedrooms, which sleep two adults and two kids, and accessible bedrooms with two bunks.

My ticket also included access to a first-class attendant who took meal reservations, offered turndown service, and fielded questions and requests.

My roomette was on the first floor of the double-decker train.

I skipped the coach passenger line to board, stepped onto the train, and placed my luggage in a shared storage space where each passenger was allowed two suitcases.

Then, I walked down a short hallway to my room, which had a sliding door that locked from the inside.

Inside, I found two cushy recliners facing each other beside a wide window.

The roomette sleeps up to two people. During the day, the room was set up with two seats, which reclined to form the lower bunk. The upper bunk could be pulled down to reveal the cot.

Next to one of the chairs, there was a shelf below a tall mirror. There were multiple hooks around the room that I used for jackets and accessories.

I could tell the seats were new. They were wide and cushy with no signs of wear. But just to make sure, I asked Magliari how a passenger could tell if they were in an updated sleeper car.

"Doing away with the blue fabric is the biggest giveaway," he said. "If you see gray, vinyl seating, then you know that you are in a fresh room."

Magliari added that the new seat cushions and upholstery provide more lumbar support than the older models.

The sides of each headrest contained room controls.

There were lighting, speaker volume, and temperature controls, as well as one outlet and a call button for the attendant.

Between the chairs, a pullout table had two foldout leaves for extra space.

There were cupholders on either side of the table — each holding a complimentary water bottle. However, the holders were too shallow to contain the bottles when the train shook, causing them to fall over during turbulent stretches.

"The cupholder size is a challenge we've faced. Beverage shapes and sizes change over time," Magliari told BI, alluding to the rise of brands expanding circumference like Stanley and Yeti.

A thin closet stood above a small trash can next to one seat.

Inside the closet, I found some hangers and fresh linens.

The sleeping car shared four bathrooms and a shower.

My booking didn't include a private bathroom. The shower and three of the bathrooms were on the first floor. I never had to wait in line to use the restroom, and I noticed they had been cleaned since my last visit a couple of times during the ride.

At night, I slid the chairs into bed mode.

After dinner in the dining car, I reclined both seats to be flat, forming the bottom bunk. The bed was wider and more comfortable than most train bunks I've slept on. The pillows were thick and fluffy, and the plush blanket had a luxurious feel.

The highlight of the 23-square-foot roomette was the expansive window.

A 23-square-foot room may seem small, but the wide, comfy seats, impressive space-saving hacks, and views outside the expansive window made it feel large.

• Housing inventory could improve as boomers age and pass on their homes, Zillow says.
• Rust Belt markets are poised to benefit the most from this trend.
• Here are the top 5 markets that are ripe for a so-called silver tsunami.

In what's been dubbed a silver tsunami, there's an $84 trillion generational wealth transfer that's slated to happen in the next two decades as boomers age and pass on their assets.

That could seriously shake up a housing market where home ownership is heavily skewed toward older Americans. Boomers, who comprise 20% of the overall US population, owned 36% of all homes in 2024, according to Freddie Mac. They're also sitting on over $17 trillion, or roughly half, of the total home equity in the US.

The silver tsunami might not be a silver bullet for the housing crisis at a national level, according to Orphe Divougny, a senior economist at Zillow.

But certain markets throughout the country have a particularly high concentration of empty-nest homes, which are expected to come on to the market as their boomer owners either downsize or pass away, according to Zillow. If you're looking to buy a home but have been discouraged by the lack of supply on the market, these areas could provide an easier entry point.

Boomer-heavy metro areas don't have much overlap with the expensive markets popular with Gen Z and millennials such as San Jose, Austin, and Denver, according to Zillow. That means inventory in those hot spots won't see much of a boost from empty-nester houses coming onto the market. Rather, many of the markets that have a high concentration of empty-nest households are located in the Rust Belt.

But Gen Z and millennials are proving that they're increasingly willing to relocate out of expensive metro areas and seek affordability, thanks to the flexibility of remote and hybrid work. In fact, there's been a recent trend of younger Americans moving out of cities and into suburban or exurban communities. Some are going even further into rural areas.

For homeowners willing to look outside the popular housing markets, there are deals to be found where the boomers are located.

"When these homes hit the market as owners downsize or otherwise move on, that extra supply should benefit buyers," Divougny said.

Listed below are the top five housing markets that'll benefit from the silver tsunami and the percentage of empty-nest households in each, according to Zillow. For context, the average empty-nester share of households in 2022 nationwide was 16%.

5 housing markets ripe for a silver tsunami

Pittsburgh, PA

% of empty-nest households: 22%

Buffalo, NY

% of empty-nest households: 20%

Cleveland, OH

% of empty-nest households: 19%

Detroit, MI

% of empty-nest households: 19%

New Orleans, LA

% of empty-nest households: 18%

• My twins had similar achievements in high school and applied to the same colleges.
• They received different merit scholarships at every school — sometimes a $13,000 difference.
• I will never understand how that happened because the merit scholarships are awarded in secrecy.

Understandably, merit scholarships are a hot topic in social media parent college groups. My twins applied to colleges simultaneously, so I was determined to learn as much as I could. Spoiler alert: It's complicated.

One thing I learned? Not all scholarships are the same. There are two main types: need-based and merit-based. Sounds simple, right? It's not. While both types come from the college after a student applies, they're awarded for different reasons.

Need-based scholarships are determined by the student's (or, more accurately, their parents') financial situation. Meanwhile, merit scholarships reward students for their accomplishments — whether that's grades, leadership, or athletic abilities.

Still confused? Don't worry, you're not alone. For now, let's stick to merit scholarships since my teenage twins didn't qualify for need-based aid.

How do you qualify for merit scholarships from the college you apply to?

This question often comes up in social media groups, and honestly, I don't think anyone knows the definitive answer. There's a lot of speculation, but unless someone from the college admissions office directly explains why your kid received a merit scholarship, it's really just guessing.

From what I understand, merit scholarships are based on how much a college wants your child to attend. If your child has qualities that the college values, they're more likely to offer a scholarship to encourage attendance. Some parents compare merit scholarships to Kohl's Cash or coupons — essentially, incentives to choose that school.

Somehow, they received different merit scholarships

My boy/girl twins seemed to have qualities colleges were seeking. Both were "high-achieving students," meaning they took advanced placement (AP) and honors classes. They were in the National Honors Society, with high GPAs that differed by only 0.20 points. They were also leaders; both were club presidents and captains of their respective tennis teams (boys' and girls' teams were separate).

I'm not sharing this to brag (though I'm incredibly proud!) but to give you an idea of the kinds of achievements that colleges might look for when awarding merit scholarships. Many colleges also like high SAT or ACT scores, but neither of them submitted scores.

My twins applied to seven of the same colleges, and each offered them different amounts of merit scholarships. Naturally, you'd think the twin with the 0.20 higher GPA would receive more scholarship money, right? That would make sense, but that's not what happened.

When I shared this observation with a friend, they suggested that the school might have been trying to increase enrollment for a specific gender since my twins are of different genders. It also could have been influenced by the majors they were interested in or the clubs they belonged to. Who knows? Not me!

Their merit scholarships were very different at some schools

For most schools, the difference was between $1,000 and $2,000, which is a lot of money, but not when you consider that some private college tuitions with room and board are over $90,000 per year. Suddenly, $1,000 seems like a small dent or pennies in comparison.

The biggest discrepancy in merit scholarships they received was at a small liberal arts college. One twin was awarded $13,000 a year more than the other, which is $52,000 over four years of college.

When I looked on the college's website, I couldn't find the name of the scholarship listed in their acceptance letter. The only information I found states that they offer merit-based scholarships based on achievement, which is pretty vague.

I still have no idea why the scholarship amounts were so vastly different.

I'm trying to move forward without answers

The results of this very unofficial experiment show that your child can qualify for a large merit scholarship if they have some sought-after quality. GPA is probably a key factor, but clearly, there are other mysterious variables at play because, statistically speaking, a 0.20 difference in GPA isn't significant.

So, what's the secret to cracking the mysterious merit scholarship code? I have no idea.

But if colleges are going to hand out merit scholarships like Kohl's Cash, the least they could do is toss in a 30% off coupon — or better yet, a BOGO deal for a mom of twins.

• A 33-hour journey to Tanzania was the longest and farthest I've traveled.
• While the long travel day was worth it, I did make some mistakes that made the trip harder.
• I forgot to pack my foot hammock and a change of clothes for the journey.

After embarking on some of the longest flights in the world, sitting in a plane cabin for hours on end is beginning to feel normal.

I've spent 13 hours traveling between Los Angeles and Auckland, New Zealand. I've also made my way to Tokyo via a 12-hour flight.

However, getting to Tanzania from Denver was an entirely new feat. It took a whopping four flights and 33 hours.

I arrived at the airport two hours early and kicked off the trip on a three-and-a-half-hour flight to Washington, DC. After a five-and-a-half-hour layover, I embarked on a 13-hour flight to Ethiopia. Next was another two-and-a-half-hour layover followed by a three-hour flight to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

For the last stretch, I had one more two-and-a-half-hour layover and an hourlong flight to Tanzania's island of Zanzibar.

Altogether, I spent more than 33 hours on planes and in airports. Unsurprisingly, the journey was filled with mistakes.

I packed a neck pillow but forgot my foot hammock.

I've experimented with a handful of viral airplane products. While some have let me down, others have drastically improved my flying experience.

One winner is a foot hammock that wraps around a seat's tray table. It allows me to have my knees bent, creating a different seated position for a long flight.

I love it, but for this flight to Tanzania, I packed an inflatable travel pillow. I was flying light and felt like having two long-haul comforts was overkill in my limited space.

Unfortunately, I didn't love the blow-up pillow. It felt bulky and uncomfortable, and instead, I longed for my hammock.

Looking back, the hammock wouldn't have taken up much space and would've been worth packing. For future long-haul flights, I might even consider trying a brand-new product.

After landing in Ethiopia, I headed to the airport bathroom to freshen up. Instinctively, I used the tap water to brush my teeth.

Delirious after 22 hours of travel, I landed in Ethiopia feeling gross. I hadn't brushed my teeth like I typically do on long-haul flights, so I immediately headed to the terminal's bathroom to freshen up.

Instincts kicked in, and I used the airport's bathroom water to brush my teeth.

I had spent less than 15 minutes in the country and already made one of the mistakes everyone urges you to avoid — drinking tap water.

The Ethiopia tourism site cautions people against drinking the country's tap water and brushing their teeth with it, as it can cause waterborne diseases.

I spent the rest of my layover monitoring any slight change in my body. Thankfully, I didn't consume much and was fine for the rest of my journey.

I typically don't pack extra clothes, but for this journey, I wish I had.

Some long-haul travelers swear by changing into new clothes during lengthy travel days. I, however, have always considered this a waste. Unless I can shower and get clean, dirtying two sets of clothes typically doesn't make sense to me.

After this 33-hour day, I've changed my mind. Brushing my teeth and washing my face in Ethiopia didn't make me feel much more refreshed. But having a clean set of clothes would've been a game changer — mostly because it would've helped my mindset.

Instead of dreading the remainder of the trip, new clothes would've felt like a fresh start and potentially helped me manage the nine hours of the journey I had left.

I didn't drink nearly enough water and should've packed electrolytes.

This is a common mistake I make on flights. Experts recommend drinking 8 ounces of water for every hour you're in the air since flying is a dehydrating experience.

While it would've been challenging to consume 160 ounces of water, I definitely didn't drink close to that amount, which contributed to my exhaustion and lethargy after landing in Tanzania.

Electrolytes or hydration salts could have also helped, so I'll carry them on future flights.

I slept during the wrong flights.

I started my journey with a red-eye flight, which I initially thought was smart. My game plan was to fall asleep during the first flight and continue sleeping after a five-hour layover and during the longer 13-hour flight.

I successfully slept through most of the first flight, which was only three-and-a-half hours.

As soon as I boarded the 13-hour flight, I realized I made a major error: My body was still on Mountain Standard Time. It was morning, and I was wide awake.

Looking back, I should've forced myself to stay awake for the first flight and focused on sleeping during the longer flight. That way I could've been better adjusted to my destination's time zone and had a few more hours of rest.

I didn't pack enough comforts for when I struggled to fall asleep.

I didn't give up hope after making that major mistake of snoozing on the first flight. So, after finishing meal service on my Ethiopian Airways flight, I attempted to get more rest.

I blew up my travel pillow, snuggled in my seat, and closed my eyes.

Sleep didn't come, and I regretted not packing melatonin or another sleeping aid for the flight.

In general, I relied on technology too much for entertainment.

After boarding my 13-hour flight wide awake, I was ready to binge. I had downloaded the latest season of the "Great British Baking Show," a movie or two, and a handful of "Normal Gossip" podcast episodes.

I was content for four hours. By hour five, my eyes had glazed over, and my ears ached from my headphones. Since I couldn't sleep, I needed anything to keep me occupied.

What I wanted was a physical book or crossword puzzle. I was tired of looking at screens, but without anything physical in my bag, I was stuck flipping through passenger safety instructions and an e-book on my phone.

Next time, I'll pack a crossword puzzle, magazine, and book to keep me occupied.

My TV downloads disappeared during my layover.

Once I landed in Ethiopia, I connected to the airport's WiFi and checked in with friends and family.

Fast-forward to my next three-hour flight — I hopped into the Netflix app to finish my downloaded episodes, but everything had disappeared.

My guess is that the shows I downloaded weren't licensed for Ethiopia, so Netflix removed them from my downloads.

I believe I would have kept my downloads if I had kept my WiFi turned off and my phone on airplane mode.

Either way, it was another reason for me to have packed a physical book to read.

Despite all these mistakes, I landed in Tanzania eager for new experiences.

I was groggy, smelly, and slightly delirious when I finally landed on the island of Zanzibar.

More importantly, I was thrilled to kick off my adventure. From the people to the animals to the food and scenery, my trip to Tanzania was worth every cramped minute on a plane.